Yak November 2013 by UON Student Central

READY TO ROLL A mum’s dedication to her son’s quality of life.

HORROR TRAVEL STORIES Thoughts and observations from a night of homelessness.

FESTIVAL ETIQUETTE The way you SHOULD be behaving this summer.

CALLAGHAN edition ISSUE 20 / November 2013 BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE U

CONTENTS 08

EDITORIAL

Festival Etiquette

New Political Party

Emily Steele - Managing Editor Kate Ellis - Deputy Managing Editor Bayden McDonald - Deputy Editor Lachie Leeming - Deputy Editor Tanya McGovern - Deputy Editor Sam Rayfield - Deputy Editor Anneliese Wild - Graphic Design Hannah Sunderland - Graphic Design Lucy McLeod - Promotions and Advertising

g n i t r o p p Su

Tattoo Parlour Laws

GOD’S LOV

CONTRIBUTORS Ben Mitchell - Graphic Designer Emily Wood - Contributing Writer Gabrielle King - Contributing Writer Hollie Pich - Contributing Writer Jacui Scolari - Contributing Writer Jodie Millard - Contributing Writer Laura Bradley - Contributing Writer Laura Jones - Graphic Designer Kate Robertson - Contributing Writer Liz Crichton - Graphic Designer Lori Depczynski - Contributing Writer Martin Shadwick - Contributing Writer Matt Hatton - Contributing Writer Meg Francis - Contributing Writer Shelby Clements - Contributing Writer Simone Russo - Graphic Designer Stacey Olen - Graphic Designer

SUBMISSIONS The Yak editorial team is always on the look out for passionate student writers and graphic designers to contribute to the magazine. If you would like to take the opportunity to get your work published, please send a sample of your writing to yakmedia@newcastle.edu.au.

ADVERTISING For advertising opportunities, contact Lucy at yakmedia@newcastle.edu.au

Podcasts

Wheelchair Sports

THE USUAL STUFF

Theology Mass Debate

Travel Horror Stories

Water Quality

Viral Blogs

04 Yak Online

17 Places & Spaces

05 Clubs & Societies

18 What’s On

05 Watt Space

20 Academic Profile

07 Green U

23 Campus Whip Around

07 Support U

33 You Can Leave your Hatton

THANK YOU! The Yak team would like to thank all our contributing writers and designers throughout the year. ‘Hats off’ to Matt Hatton for his regular column. A massive thank you to Angela Geddes for her amazing design

work and inspirations. And finally, thank you to Susanah Lynch, Ellen Moore and the UoN Services team for their encouragement, support and guidance throughout the year.

Yak Magazine is published by UoN Services Limited at the University of Newcastle. The views expressed herein are not necessarily the views of UoN Services Limited or the University of Newcastle, unless explicitly stated. UoN Services Limited accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions of information contained in this issue of Yak Magazine. In addition, Yak Magazine may at times accept forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of affiliate compensation to subsidise the costs associated with producing the magazine. We recommend you do your own research and draw your own conclusions about any product claim, technical specifications, statistic, quote or other representation about a product, service, manufacturer, or provider.

Yak Magazine - November 2013

LETTER FROM

THE EDITOR

Dare I say it? But seriously, it’s ‘that time’ of the year again and I’m weeing my pants at how quickly this year has gone. Another year down, one more to go! I am very envious of 90% of my fellow Yaks who will be leaving and graduating this summer, having to move into the big wide world. Ha! Kidding… those suckers have to find jobs, houses and probably start wearing proper shoes all day long. I can’t laugh too much, I’ve just got a new job which involves business attire and brushing my hair everyday (something never seen at KFC). Where art thou year gone though? We have hit the exam period and it will be a few short weeks until we are free (only 2 if you are a comms student and have no exams, hurrah for us!). Assignments will be piling up and study may or may not be happening. If you’re like me you may have given up already and will just accept that the work will get done eventually, and the quality of it will be…well yeah, it will get done at least. As I have pretty much exhausted my creative genius (naht) at this point, and my brain starts to wind down and think of long, hot days, the beach, reading books, swinging in my new hammock and overseas travel, I find myself at a loss of what to say to you guys this month. So I thought I would go with some simple tips to get through the summer until we head back here in March. 1. Don’t complain that it’s hot. Compulsive weather haters are annoying; yeah it’s hot, you live in Australia, what do you expect? 2. Yes, enjoy lying on the couch but don’t waste every beautiful day there, at least make it to the beach once. 3. Don’t look at a single academic text for three months; your head WILL explode. 4. Do everything that makes you happy that you have been neglecting to be a fabulously studious student. 5. Don’t miss us too much, Yak will be back in time for O Week. If you are graduating, savour the moment. Remember that for the rest of your life you will probably be one of those people that chatter on about their amazing time at uni. Look at the people around you; appreciate where you have been and what you have been doing for the past three, four, five etc. years. I and the rest of the Yak team wish you the very best for the rest of your lives. If you’re not graduating, savour the moment. Enjoy the three months off, whether you spend it travelling, interning, visiting family, at the beach or simply lying on the couch day in day out. Don’t dread returning to uni, feel grateful we have the opportunity to come back. So good luck with your exams, your assignments and everything in between. Stay safe, have fun and see you next year!

THIS MONTH’S BITING QUESTION: “Why is the magazine called Yak?” MANAGING EDITOR

EMILY STEELE

I believe it was some manly stab at women that started it all. DEPUTY MANAGING EDITOR

KATE ELLIS

Back in 19-tickety-two during the Battle for Bovine Independence, the leader of the enslaved animals, Yakididimus, would document his people’s struggles against oppression. This magazine is a tribute to the Bovine leader, represented by the students who have similarly thrown off the shackles of their workloads and managed to procrastinate till the Yaks come home! DEPUTY EDITOR - COLUMNS

BAYDEN McDONALD

It’s called Yak because Super Sexy Action News Monthly was too big for the cover.

DEPUTY EDITOR - ENTERTAINMENT & TECHNOLOGY

LACHIE LEEMING

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe Yak was an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era (when in doubt, quote Anchorman). DEPUTY EDITOR - UNI CONTENT

TANYA McGOVERN

When the university was first established back in the 19 50s, a number of sightings of an amphibious, Yak-like creature were reported down in the university’s Wetlands. Only spotted in the reeds after dusk, it was rumoured to have lived off algae. DEPUTY EDITOR - FEATURES

SAMUEL RAYFIELD

Back in the day I voted to name it Little Cute Pony but they all laughed at me.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER

ANNELIESE WILD

We wanted a name that suggested both friendly chatter and a cheeky spew.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER

HANNAH SUNDERLAND What magazine?

PROMOTIONS & ADVERTISING OFFICER

LUCY McLEOD

The magazine was originally planned to be called ‘Cats’ to cash in on the grumpy cat craze. Unfortunately, this was deemed to be a copyright violation of the musical of the same name and the team subsequently turned to their second choice of animal and Yak sounded catchier than ‘Himalayan Bovine’

04 Yak Magazine - November 2013

twitter.com/yakmedia

ERIN

ALEX

facebook.com/yakmedia

There’s a big black dog wandering around near the maths building???? He’s friendly though so don’t be scared, I wonder where he’s from? Can I have one of those question marks.

2 people like this

DEE

15 people like this

ANGUS

To the guy who stopped his car across the pedestrian crossing near HPE/The Forum to wave at me enthusiastically, only for us to both awkwardly lower our sunnies to each other, realize we didn’t know each other at all and go our separate ways, I really enjoyed that awkward moment we shared. Anyone walking from car park 15 to the squash pavilion (towards the hunter building) please be careful from now on as this area has high magpie activity and they are likely to swoop you during this time of year (as I’ve already observed on multiple cases) especially if you walk that way daily and they recognise you.

3 people like this

UoN MEMES

ROBERT

I prefer to think of their swooping me as an expression of affection, their pecks upon my scalp but a dainty kiss as they go about their day.

4 people like this

Oh god I’m so lonely.

164 people like this

Time for Ourimbah folk to trade their canoes in for sleds it seems.

RICHARD What the feck is a 4yr old child doing enrolled in Info1010 for?! 2 people like this

UoN MEMES Why the fuck is INFO1010 teaching sociological theory? 3 people like this

UoN MEMES 57 people like this

Contraception and pain killers will no doubt drive profits alone.

Memes: Sourced from UoN Memes.

Yak Magazine - November 2013

The International Youth and Students for Social Equality Jacqui Scolari digs deep into the ideologies of UoN’s socialist society. The International Youth and Students for Social Equality (IYSSE) is an organisation devoted to rallying youth against capitalism and for the socialist transformation of society. IYSSE is represented in university campuses all over the country, and their most passionate aims include defending everyone’s right to proper housing, healthcare and a job. Zac Hambides, UNSW undergraduate and leading member of the IYSSE internationally, feels very strongly about the issue of homelessness. In an article for the World Socialist Web Site (WWS), Hambides drew attention to the rising number of people struggling for adequate housing, referring to the Australian 2011 census, which stated that homelessness rates had increased by 17% since 2006. Hambides is also passionate about disputing the assumption that homeless people only live in the roughest conditions. “A number of homeless people are living in unsuitable or overcrowded accommodation,” Zac said. The IYSSE is also passionate about fighting for the struggles that affect people internationally, and uniting workers, students

Skye Jacobson

and young people from all over the world. A quick glance at their Facebook page further proved this claim, with the IYSSE sharing news on Obama’s administration, the social rallies in Greece and the universal struggle of young people experiencing high rates of unemployment. Issues of historical events are also brought to attention, including the founding of the Fourth International, which occurred in September of 1938. Nick Beams, the National Secretary of the Social Equity party addressed the importance of internationalism at the regional conferences held by the World Socialist Web Site and the Social Equity Party. “The ICFI [International Committee of the Fourth International] is the only party that functions on a daily basis, in all aspects of its work, as an international tendency.” The IYSSE has followed this belief, allowing for young people all over the world to express their opinion and address issues that are affecting both them and their country. Interested? Visit the IYSSE’s website at www.iysse.com or look at their Facebook page for more information, or email issye. newcastle@gmail.com to find out more about Newcastle University’s representatives or attend a meeting.

Jennifer Muldoon

NOVEMBER 6 – 24

NOVEMBER 27 - DECEMBER 1

2013 HONOURS

NEWCASTLE PRODUCT

Skye Jacobson, Kathryn Jeanes,

UoN Industrial Design Students

Susan Woodbury, Jennifer Muldoon. Thursday, 7 November, 6.30pm

Tuesday, 26 November, 6.30pm

Email: wattspace@newcastle.edu.au Website: www.newcastle.edu.au/group/watt-space Facebook: facebook.com/WattSpaceGallery Watt Space Gallery, University House, Auckland St Newcastle. Open 11am -5 pm, Wed - Sun. Ph: 4921 8733 Watt Space is funded by UoN Services Limited and supported by the University of Newcastle School of Creative Arts.

Yak Magazine - November 2013

3 Ways to save money & energy By Lori Depczynski

This month, UoN Sustainability Scholar Lori shares some clever ways to save money with a few simple green choices in the home.

altogether! It’s definitely something to try!

Uni students are generally on a tight budget to say the least, so it would make sense to promote some super easy ways to save some dollars. Reducing energy consumption in the home (i.e. wherever you find yourself living during the semester) can make it easier on the pocket when that dreaded energy bill comes around, and as a bonus, helps out the environment! Below are the three easiest ways to save on energy usage at home. I highly recommend you try them out!

Not that I’d expect too many students to be aware of this, but there is a debate about cold water vs. hot water when washing clothes. Most machines are automatically set to ‘warm’, however, the general consensus is that cold water is more than up to the task of tackling that everyday laundry (or in my case, a fortnightly mountain of dirty clothes).

Switch it OFF, the real OFF Ever heard of an energy vampire? You’re actually living with about 20 of these. According to a study conducted by Cornell University, they add around $200 to your electricity bill each year. What is an energy vampire you say? They are appliances that suck energy out of the wall even after they have been switched ‘off’. Common things that fall into this category are TVs, DVD players, audio equipment, printers and chargers for phones, tablets, laptops and iPods. Basically anything with a transformer, little glowing red light or digital clock display counts as a vampire, so switch those little suckers off at the wall when they’re not in use, or better yet, unplug them

SUP PORT U By the time November rolls around most of us are so far into the cocktail-by-the-beach mindset that we forget about the employment prospects which loom around the corner. Luckily not all of our minds are halfway on a flight to Thailand, the UoN Careers Service is always on standby.

Switch to COLD wash

Clothing care expert Steve Boorstein says that technological advances in both machines and detergents have made cold water washing a highly effective option. Meaning, pressing the button for a simple switch to COLD on the washing machine another super easy way to reduce energy consumption, in turn saving you money! Switch to CFLs If you’re on good terms with your landlord, try and convince them to invest in some of those CFL lightbulbs (compact fluorescent bulbs). And, by invest I mean spend like $5 each on some cool spiral bulbs. They are 75 per cent more energy efficient than the older style incandescent bulbs and last an average of 10 times longer, saving energy without you even having to think twice about it.

Careers Service By Laura Bradley finding a career direction or work experience, networking, help with job applications and interview tips. 3. For those wishing to perfect their job interview skills, the service offers a mock-interview practice session. The interview starts the moment the student meets with a careers counsellor, who replicates the interview process used in the workplace and provides feedback at the end of the session. Staff recommend when making an appointment, students attach a description of the position they have applied for.

“If you are unsure of what your next step will be or how you will get yourself where you want to be, then it is very important to check in with the Careers Service,” “It’s Careers Service Information Officer, Ashlee a competitive Hammond said. “It’s a competitive graduate labour market out there and it is essential to have a good plan and to know how to compete for jobs”. So what free services are offered for those wishing to make the fateful leap from university to the workforce?

4. If students are unsure about the jobs that stem from their area of study, or whether they’re in the right degree, the service has developed a graduate labour ‘Degrees to Careers’ website, which details market out there and the career opportunities and job prospects available from each undergraduate and it is essential to have a postgraduate degree. good plan and to know

how to compete for jobs”

1. The service runs a resumé drop-in program each day at the Callaghan campus. The hourly service is a first-in-first-served system that gives each student 5-10 minutes with a career counsellor, who will offer personalised feedback on a student’s draft resume and cover letter. There are no bookings necessary, so students are just advised to show up on the hour. 2. The counsellors also offer detailed career advice to current students and graduates on a wide range of topics, such as

So before the salt water fills your nostrils this summer, head down to the careers service on your campus. Whether for five minutes or an hour, the future you will be undoubtedly thankful.

To find the Careers Service on your campus or make an appointment, visit the Degrees to Careers website: http://www.newcastle.edu.au/service/careers/

08 Yak Magazine - November 2013

Hollie Pich offers a few simple steps to follow for ladies and gents who love the tunes. Splendour in the Grass was a three-day music festival held just north of Byron Bay over the last weekend of July and, my friends, it was amazing. I packed a million adventures and misadventures into those days with my partner-in-crime. While Splendour was undoubtedly one of the best weekends of my life, and I met some amazing people, I was again reminded that people en masse can be a bit… well, a little bit shit. Something happens when more than 100 people are in the same place: brains turn to mush, capacity for empathy is quashed and the ID rules supreme. I have a suspicion this could be how the zombie apocalypse really starts. We can’t let the zombies win! I think a festival etiquette guide should be handed out to every festival-goer (before there is access to alcohol) to explain appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. As one does not currently exist, I have written my own festival etiquette guide and am delivering it to the University of Newcastle in the hopes of a better, less-zombified future.

This one’s fairly self-explanatory: if you, like myself, are a tiny person and you would like to see the stage I totally see the appeal of a shoulder-sit. It’s fun: you can see! You’re up high! People can see you! But please bear in mind that the people standing behind you in the crowd can now see ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (besides your butt in their face). I don’t care if you’re Chris Evans, I don’t want to stare at your arse for half a set; I want to see the people playing the music. So please, have your turn and luxuriate in your ability to see the musicians, and then get down so other people can see.

Now, I know that smart phones are our greatest ever invention and we are all unhealthily addicted to them, but it’s time to face the facts. They are not video cameras. Recording your favourite song: a-okay! Recording multiple songs, bumping people in the head with your phone, and making people watch a tiny flickering screen instead of the stage? Not so much. Live in the moment; Facebook/Instagram/Tweet/Youtube your blurry footage later.

*unpopular opinion time* While I love Passenger, I strongly disagree with (some) of the lyrics in I Hate: namely, “I hate stepping outside, for a smoke and some guy/ Coughs, like your lungs are his.” I respect people’s opinion to smoke. I don’t understand why you would do it, but it’s your body and your decision, so go ahead. But don’t make me a participant in your habit: please, please refrain from smoking in a crowd at a festival, especially when we are all stuck together for at least an hour watching a set. If you want to develop lung cancer, emphysema, yellow your teeth and prematurely age yourself… go nuts. But don’t sign me up too, blowing smoke in my face and triggering my asthma, or cauterising my arms and legs with your carelessly held cigarette. Just wait till you’ve got a bit of space, then light up under the stars instead.

This is one of my absolute, will-instantly-drive-me-crazy, willtry-and-curse-you-and-your-kin pet hates. Don’t ignore a line! We’re not all standing behind each other conveniently near an entrance or drinks stand for fun…we are lining up. Don’t pretend you can’t see us; or are looking for a friend; or push your way through. Walk up to the back. Stand there. And wait your turn.

Again, something you would think is pretty self-evident, but alas it seems that festival-goers almost need a separate guide for ‘How to Use Toilets.’ A few basic tips: please go to the toilet in the toilet. How on earth some people got their…waste…on the ceiling of a Port-a-loo I will never know (thankfully). We can all hover above the disgusting seat and get it in! I have faith in us! Dispose of ‘items’ (pads, condoms, etc.) in the bins that are just outside the toilet. And, once you have endured the horror that is a festival toilet, flush the toilet. For the love of god, flush the toilet. It takes a second and will save people enormous emotional scarring (I’m not sure I will ever recover from my experiences). As one girl asked in the never-ending line for the leaving-a-bit-tobe-desired toilets at Splendour, “Can’t we all work together?”

Yak Magazine - November 2013

‘If you must shove, this means that there are too many people in front of you.’

One of the most wonderful things about a festival, or concert, or expo is the sudden realisation you are surrounded by people who also love the things you love. You can be wildly enthusiastic with other people who are wildly enthusiastic! One of my favourite memories from Splendour was a (somewhat intoxicated) guy turning to me and saying, deadly serious, “Marcus Mumford has the greatest voice of our generation.” On the other hand… one of the most terrible things about a festival, or concert, or expo is the sudden realisation that you have the share your favourite thing with thousands of other people. You want to be able to touch Marcus Mumford, but thousands of other people also want to touch Marcus Mumford. They want to be on stage. They want the best seats in the house. This means, inevitably, you are packed into a relatively small place with what feels like every person on the face of the earth, jostling for position. While this can make for amazing moments (the whole crowd jumping and singing to Little Lion Man; the moment we all realised Of Monsters and Men were playing Little Talks; the dance party in Passion Pit), it can also make for moments where you want to kill people. To ensure the homicide rate doesn’t rise dramatically, let’s make sure we all follow these simple rules:

If you are planning on leaving halfway through the set of a big act (aka Mumford & Sons), don’t fight your way to the middle/ front of the crowd. Because then? Then you have to fight back out, past people who are trying to watch and listen, and you will basically be the most annoying person in the world. Just hang out on the sides: you’ll still be able to hear and see and will be able to make it to your next destination without giving, or receiving, bruises.

If you do want to be near the front for one of your favourite acts, strategise! Move in as the previous act finishes, and people scatter to line up for toilets/drinks/food/merchandise/ drinks (let’s be honest - most people are getting drinks). Then prepare to protect your spot with blood, sweat and tears.

Shoving is not an appropriate means of getting through a crowd, especially if you are trying to work your way in. If you must shove, this means that are too many people in front of you. I am not a particularly large person and had Tarzan-sized men physically move me out of the way to get closer to the stage. If you decide, despite this etiquette guide’s clear instruction, to fight your way through the crowd and stand on top of people (relatively close to the front), then please don’t proceed to talk and/or make out. I cannot count the number of times this happened. And honestly, I can’t promise I won’t snap if it continues to happen at festivals in the future.

Basically, all I’m trying to say is: be a decent person. If we all work together, we can prevent festivals from descending into a Lord of Flies-esque landscape/zombie apocalypse/blood bath. Let’s listen to, and love, some music!

10 Yak Magazine - November 2013

Sam Rayfield reflects on and speculates on the outcomes of the 2013 election.

rom the moment the initial election date was announced, Tony Abbott’s election was an ungracious inevitability. The reinstatement of Kevin Rudd as Labor leader spiked the opinion polls slightly, but only momentarily, as the public perception of the party continued to decline. While its defeat was not as ugly as anticipated, the Labor party’s six-year tenure reached a tumultuous end, and not as the Liberal juggernaut assumed its power. As with any change in government, the righteous indignation of those who voted against the change is expected. Yet, when a Facebook page lambasting the newly-elected as the ‘Worst PM in Australian History’ attracts over 150,000 disgruntled voters less than a week after election, a reflective Prime Minister would ask themselves, ‘What am I doing wrong?‘, rather than axe their climate commission. The Abbott government can’t please all voters, but it can attempt to please those who voted it in - and

that they did. Australia’s House of Representatives now seats 74 Liberal members, compared to Labor’s 55 (Senate numbers were not finalised at the time of writing). The Greens remained with one seat, despite a 3.3% decrease to 8.4% of the overall vote, and enigmatic Clive Palmer’s party attracted the support of 591,168 voters said by many to be fed up with the bickering and infighting of the major parties. Despite being countable, legitimate votes, they’re votes that the University of Newcastle’s Associate Professor in Politics Jim Jose would advise against. “The most rational thing a voter can do is be apathetic, because if faced with a choice between two parties that you’re not happy with or don’t want to be involved with, then what do you do? You don’t do anything.” If you’re enrolled, you should at least turn up to vote - then do nothing. But if you’re not enrolled, you’re more than likely not alone. Voting is only encouraged by legislation - that is,

not compulsory - and it seems now that encouragement isn’t enough to participate in a democracy. 400,000 Australians aged 18-24 failed to enroll to vote in the 2013 election, even with the option to enroll online. Considering that young people basically embody the internet, it’s essential that politicians continue to exploit the digital platform. However, as Jose states, remaining “politically engaged outside of the election cycles” is something political parties haven’t traditionally promoted. “It’s in the interests of the politicians of the major parties to promote a more apathetic population ... that will go through the motions come election day, but will do little else.” “Our current political culture has been such over the years to encourage voters to think of elections as the beginning and ending of their political engagement.” Elections are times of excitement and fervour for change, yet remaining engaged without a good scandal

Yak Magazine - November 2013

or conflict can be difficult. In no ironic sense at all, most of these followable stories arise in the leadup to an election, when “months of accumulated negativity about a government” within the media can arguably assist in its ousting. There’s no definitive way to quantify an ideologically biased media source’s effects on a population, but certain reporting on certain issues can cause expected condemnation of certain figures. “We’ve never had a Prime Minister as the institutional Prime Minister as badly represented in the press as we’ve had Julia Gillard,” Jose said, reflecting also on the Murdoch media’s treatment of Gough Whitlam in 1975, but failing to draw an equal comparison. However, he echoes many pundits in suggesting that the historical portrayal of Gillard will be “far kinder than the current representation,” and that figures such as Kevin Rudd will come under increased scrutiny in years to come.

some space to operate without too much scrutiny.”

will effect the current generation of Australians for years to come.

While intending to operate a lowimpact government, journalists have pinpointed that this mustn’t equate to being ineffective. To repeal carbon and mining taxes, “stop the boats”, and assuage the Labor debt are a few of the obligatory pre-election promises that Abbott made, yet it cannot be expected that these goals will be satisfactorily attained, at least in the near future. Too, it’s often very difficult to tell which of the pre-election promises will actually be fulfilled, yet in keeping with a personal desire to be an “infrastructure Prime Minister”, the National Broadband Network, climate change policies, and university education restructuring can be expected to figure both tangibly and prominently within the coming term.

“For most young people, high speed broadband is what they want,” Jose said. In addition to this, he has observed that climate change concerns, within younger generations, are bipartisan. Most conservatively and progressively-minded young Australians agree that climate change does exist, but bickering over such things as the carbon tax has led to the phenomenon’s politicisation and economisation, distancing the rhetoric from its initially scientific basis. That climate change is scientifically undisputed is near day indeed, but the axing of the Climate Change Commission is nothing short of a middle finger to those who actively regard the environment a foremost issue; that is, the majority of the population. However, he also believes the rhetoric has been manipulated to portray the carbon tax negatively, “even though the actual impact of the tax on most households is quite low.”

“If any man had governed within the same three year period, the same conditions, they would be lauded as genius.” Such a statement harkens back to the ideas of Glyn Davis’ Leader of the Gang, a 2011 essay from the University of Melbourne ViceChancellor likening the successful leader of a political party to one who leads an inner-city street gang. He highlights that “those groups of disenfranchised youths who band together for mutual support and profit ... are almost exclusively male”, which may sound familiar. According to Jose, the current cabinet is comprised of “[people who] think like, or agree with Tony Abbott,” and save for Foreign Minister Julie Bishop, femininity is non-existent. Delivering on the necessary announcement of his cabinet and the dissolution of the Climate Commission, the post-election Tony Abbott has however remained characteristically low-profile. “That’s part of the strategy of turning the heat down, enabling him to have

“You’ve got this schizophrenia where most people understand that something needs to be done about climate change, but when something is done about it, they’re hostile to it.”

Labor’s NBN plans were admitted by former communications minister Stephen Conroy to be “overly ambitious” for their overestimation of the capabilities of the construction industry, but the Liberal plans could be criticised for being under-ambitious; an admittedly more materially frugal Liberal NBN sacrificing equality of connection, reliability and speed for a few tens of billions more in the bank. Cynics would dismiss any NBN policy for simply being a way for young people to get free stuff even freer, yet seamless connection to the digital economy remains an issue that

He believes that there’s been “a depoliticising of ‘being-in-the-world’,” where people are “encouraged to think only in terms of I, not in terms of the social or the wider society or the community.” The jury is out on how far, or even whether the current brand of politics can exploit this inattentiveness, yet for the next yearor-so, I’ll be in France, so I don’t have to care. For those remaining in Australia though, there’s certainly a lot to look forward to - 100Mbps download speeds (compared to France’s 1Gbps), expanding coal mines (compared to France’s primarily nuclear power), and a same-sex marriage policy left dead in the water. Maybe marrying a French dude (purely for the sake of convenience) is a better idea than returning home.

Yak Magazine - November 2013

“I think they’re a bit ridiculous. You know, they’re treating us like criminals,” he said. “There are a lot of disgruntled tattooists out there at the moment.” Red has been tattooing in Newcastle for nearly 15 years in a perfectly legitimate, legal business and feels that the industry has been unfairly targeted. He also has sympathy for those who are employed at bikie owned establishments who may not have anything to do with the operations but are being targeted nonetheless. ‘They’re just trying to make a living,’ he said. Authorities have claimed that this is precisely one of the reasons they are addressing the issue, as an effort to create a safe and secure environment for practising tattooists who just want to work.

Last month new laws came into effect that made it mandatory for practicing tattooists and tattoo studios in NSW to be licensed in order to operate legally. But what does the license certify exactly? Knowledge of hygiene and sterility that will ensure your southern cross won’t combust into a constellation of fiery puss balls? Or what about artistic and linguistic competence, to prevent the face of your newborn being recreated as Chucky, or to stop you accidentally telling everybody that ‘suck is life’ every time you take off your shirt? Well sorry if you’ve been considering a tattoo but have to date been deterred by the hilarious horror stories you’ve seen online; unless your concern is a drive-by while you’re inking it up, the new licensing laws won’t offer you much peace of mind. That’s because they are specifically designed for one thing only – to address the perceived affiliation of the industry with outlaw bikie gangs. Obtaining a license can involve fingerprinting and a background check into past convictions and links with bikie gangs. It will cost the tattoo artist $699 for three years, and the operator $2,094. The police also now have the ability to raid tattoo parlours without a warrant. The rationale is that it will break down the use of tattoo parlours as fronts for gang activity and reduce the amount of violent crime that they attract. NSW police estimate that one in four establishments are bikie affiliated. The introduction of the laws is a part of the state government’s broader initiative to reduce gang crime in NSW. But many tattoo artists aren’t impressed with the new requirements. Artist ‘Red’ of Newcastle Tattoo Studio isn’t a fan at all.

“Bikies will no longer feel that they ‘own’ the industry— that they have the right to stand over, and extort, owners of tattoo businesses who are unaffiliated with outlaw motorcycle gangs”, Minister for Police and Emergency Services, Michael Gallacher, said about the Tattoo Parlours Bill. “Nor will tattoo parlours be able to provide a means for organised criminals to launder the proceeds of crime.” With other states expected to keep a close watch on how the effects of the law unfold, The Australian Tattooist Guild has expressed concerns about the inconsistencies in licensing arrangements between states and the potential impact this will have on the artistic and collaborative aspects of the industry, as many tattooists travel interstate for conventions and to do work in other parlours. The Guild is not in a financial position to pursue legal action over the new laws but will seek to establish national industry standards through the Federal Government, “which should take care of any interstate differences, and allow all professional tattooists to work in any state without having to seek separate licenses”. The Guild would also like to see the licensing involve some health standard element similar to Queensland’s requirement of a TAFE certificate. NSW is a little bit behind the times in this regard, according to President of the Guild, Josh Roelink. He said that the health aspect is one of the shortcomings of the laws that needs to be addressed “so that the money you are paying for a license is actually appropriate”. More than anything, the industry could probably use a ‘good taste’ standard or some kind of ‘brutally honest’ obligation: if the client wants a terrible design, tell them it’s terrible. As for the crime issue, time will tell if the laws will have any real impact on the Bikie culture, or if they simply relocate the problem to another industry. Designed by Simone Russo

14 Yak Magazine - November 2013

kate ellis plugs in to the world of podcasting to deliver some mighty fine sound bites for your listening pleasure. h, the podcast. For those of you who may not be familiar, our almighty and good olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; friend Wikipedia describes a podcast as an audio recording delivered in an episode or series of episodes. And thanks to technology, we now have access to a wealth of people, opinions and topics with the click of a mouse or the touch of the download button on your iPhone/iPad/iPod. But with so much out there, where do you start? Personally, comedic podcasters are my favourite. Who could go past the opportunity to listen to grown adults wittily recounting misadventures, misdemeanours and experiences in far away and mysterious places? But, in a vain attempt at diversity, I shall attempt to lay out for you some different types of podcasts I think are just plain nifty.

Yak Magazine - November 2013

Walking the Room with Dave Anthony + Greg Behrendt. Due to yarns in a previous issue of the glorious magazine you now hold in your hot little hands, I am not able to bear mention of my all-time favourite podcast –TOFOP/FOFOP (where Aussie comedian Wil Anderson teams up with ‘guest Charlie’s’ – in the absence of actor pal, Charlie Clausen – for hour-something long rants about life, Batman, getting stoned, Batman, AFL, Batman, horrible Adam Sandler movie ideas, the world’s worst lawyer, and did I mention Batman?). But, fear not. I can delve into the depths of the mysteries beholdeth in their sister podcast Walking the Room. Dave Anthony and Greg Behrendt are American comedians, who are not only well established funny-people, but actors, writers, authors and musicians. They spend a lot of time disagreeing with each other; to the extent one could potentially gouge out the others eyes with a fork, in some kind of bizarre cutlery-based jousting match. The podcast has humble beginnings with sound quality a bit like a tin-can walkie-talkie conversation, but rest assured, it does improve. The comedy, however, is ace from start to finish so no need to worry about that. What the podcast doesn’t have, is any sort of discernible structure. It jumps through light-hearted topics like why Australians are so awesome (true), to more serious stuff like alcoholism and family relationships. Despite dealing with some pretty serious topics, both comedians are rather selfdeprecating, and the lack of structure brought to the podcast each episode means that literally anything can happen, most often resulting in full-on belly shaking laughter for listeners. Without having to tick off a shopping list of gags, the podcast feels more like you’re part of a conversation, with stories left unfinished and people talking over each other. But there are also hilarious tangents that sometimes go that small bit too far, and some really deep insights into life.

The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy Dassalo, Karl Chandler + guests. The question and answer of Adam Hills Tonight meets the amicable arguments of Lano and Woodley in this little beauty. Tommy Dassalo is an accomplished young Aussie with an eventful childhood that has fuelled a series of successful comedy shows. Karl Chandler is a writer and master of quickfire jokes, clearly evident in show titles like Karl Chandler Jokes in 140 Characters. Each week they team up with a different comedian in a question and answer style podcast. They tackle all-important issues, like transporting poo through customs and can you hear my beard in this microphone?

Having a different guest star take to mic each episode is refreshing, and means new ground gets covered each week. The likes of Cal Wilson, Rove McManus, Tom Gleeson, Josh Thomas, Sammy J, Adam Hills, Wil Anderson, Eddie Perfect, Dave Hughes, Felicity Ward, Peter Helliar, Tim Minchin, and Hannah Gadsby have all joined the club. Whether it’s musicals about the public opinion of Jesus, an insight into a comedians personal life, new comedy shows or just a general chat, there is definitely something to suit every taste (unless you’re not particularly a fan of comedy, in which case; congratulations on reading this far, and I swear the next bit will be more to your liking).

News Today with David Armstrong. Okay so whilst I may have failed miserably at delivering the promised variety, allow me to make at least a half-arsed attempt at redemption. Here goes… News Today is a daily Fairfax Media project that covers a whole heap of issues happening around the globe we live in. Going past the celebrity drivel we are bombarded with most frequently (thank goodness) it deals with things like new technological developments, actual current affairs (rather than the interpretation of current affairs held by certain television stations), as well as scientific discoveries. Adding global news to the picture, it gives a rather well-rounded and interesting picture of what’s going on in the world. And, if you’re anything like me, there is something else to appreciate about this podcast. There are no ads. There are no

brain-melting celebrity gossip segments delivered by an overstyled, over-exuberant American. Unlike radio news, it doesn’t deliver 20 seconds on an issue, but being a podcast; you can just as easily listen to it on the move. Also, this podcast tends to deal with things in a way that is a bit more relatable. Humorous, even. In talking about a recent scientific discovery relating high-levels of stress to obesity, Armstrong pipes up: “how do you torment a sheep and see if it gains weight?” And, if you have ever found yourself having to Google something you saw on TV or heard on the radio to catch up to what is being thrown around news circles, you may not encounter the same issues with this program. Luckily, it delves into the background of issues and the basics of science and technology so, huzzah! It’s not an impossible task to stay on top of the goings-on. But seriously, podcasts are (mostly) free. And they are really funny (or news-y or informative or whatever else floats your boat), and genuinely heartfelt. Do your ears a favour – go grab some podcasts and help yourself to that deep belly-laugh feeling. Designed by Hannah Sunderland

16 Yak Magazine - November 2013

Just like bitchiness, sunburn and crusty sores in hard-toreach places, there is no magical remedy for a hangover. The only cure for a hangover is to not drink in the first place. Too many of us have stumbled out of bed, the morning after the night before, fallen to our knees (some of us to vomit), thrown back our heads (not too quickly or everything starts to spin again) and raised our fists, angrily cursing ourselves for consuming enough alcohol to tranquilise a small elephant. The first thing you want is McDonald’s. But alas, everyone in the house has continued on with their day and is not home to drive your alcohol-sodden body to the drive thru. What do you do now?! Go for the Hair of the Dog treatment? Allnatural remedies? Panadol? Curl into a ball and die? But do not fear, valued reader: Yak is here to help with the myths, legends and cures of a hangover.

Drinking to cure a hangover will only delay (and strengthen) the inevitable. It also further dehydrates the body.

While temporarily relieving the pain, throwing up will not purge your bloodstream of the poison you have pumped into it over night.

Similar to a drink the next day, it will only relieve symptoms temporarily. Eventually you will have to face your demons.

Although we all want to devour something that is dripping in fat, soaked in salt or covered in cheese, greasy consumption will only further irritate your poor stomach, subsequently resulting in the dreaded ‘grog bog’. Note to carry on alcohol-fuelled nights: nothing you do the next day will detox your blood.

Legends that will actually ease the pain (despite how unappetising compared to a Big Mac they may seem):

Emily Steele debunks the myths behind drinking and spills the secrets on what will make you feel better. Although it will make your pee smell funny, it will make you pee a lot. The amino acids and minerals help get rid of the hangover and queasiness.

H2O Lots and lots of water. Drown yourself in it if you have to. Drink it even when you know its going to come straight back up. Water is our friend, he fights our enemy alcohol.

This is a personal favourite of our old editor Rowie! There is plenty of water in cucumbers, and the starchy, preservative *cough* goodness *cough, cough*, of white bread is surely going to line the stomach with something other than acid?

This legend comes out of Ireland and is said to be a sure fire way to alleviate the morning after effects. Not your cup of tea? Feel like attempting to bury yourself whilst intoxicated could end badly? Try taking a shower instead, switching from hot to cold water regularly.

As disgustingly difficult as that sounds with a hangover, it will help. If you get moving you begin to metabolise the alcohol, thus reliving symptoms. Walk home from wherever you found yourself waking up, go retrieve your car, or simply walk to a friend’s house so you can suffer together in pain.

As many problems as Yak attempts to solve for our student peers, a hangover is one that we cannot fix. Give our legends a go, avoid our myths, but in the end, if you want to avoid feeling like you’ve been dragged through a rose bush backwards. Don’t drink. Ever….. Who are we kidding?! I’m trying the river sand next Friday night.

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON EVENTS & GIGS

HAPPY HOUR

Find out more at www.uonservices.org.au

WEEK 12

Are You Game?

3pm - 6pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

FRIDAY 1 Trivia 1pm - 2pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Watt Space Opening Night 6.30pm, Watt Space Gallery

The End Party

Wednesday, 17 November 7pm, Bar on the Hill

Godfrey Tanner Bar 4pm - 5pm Every day of semester

Bar on the Hill

MONDAY MOVIES BY MOONLIGHT

5pm - 6pm Every day of semester* (except Wednesdays)

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (MA 15+)

FRIDAY 8

6pm, Brennan Room

Trivia

SATURDAY 2

1pm - 2pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Dyson, Stringer & Cloher Lizottes Newcastle

SUNDAY 3 Newcastle City Farmers Markets

FREE Mondays at 7.30pm, Derkenne Courtyard

Nov

Campus Life Awards 2013

8am, Showground, Broadmeadow

Semester 2 Concludes

SATURDAY 9 Newcastle Gem Show 2 Dora Rd, Adamstown

Trivia Bar on the Hill 1pm - 2pm, Tuesdays

WEEK 13

SUNDAY 10 Monday Movies by Moonlight at U Cinema

Newcastle City Farmers Markets

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (MA 15+) 7.30pm, Derkenne Courtyard

Newcastle Gem Show

Tanner Tuesday 6.30pm, Tuesdays Godfrey Tanner Bar

Civic Theatre Newcastle

MONDAY 4

Godfrey Tanner Bar 1pm - 2pm, Fridays

Ahn Do

8am, Showground, Broadmeadow 2 Dora Rd, Adamstown

TUESDAY 5

end of year exams

Trivia

MONDAY 11

1pm - 2pm, Bar on the Hill

Melbourne Cup

End of Year Examinations Begin

3pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Pool Comp

3pm - 6pm, Wednesdays Godfrey Tanner Bar

TUESDAY 12 Tanner Tuesday Comedy Night

Olly Murs Civic Theatre, Newcastle

From 6.30pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

WEDNESDAY 6 Wind Up Wednesday From 6pm, Wednesdays Bar on the Hill

Pool Comp

WEDNESDAY 13

3pm - 6pm, Godfrey Tanner Bar

Wind Up Wednesday from 6pm, Bar on the Hill

Bar Games

1pm - 3pm, Thursdays Bar on the Hill

THURSDAY 7 Charity Family Fun Day 8am - 4pm, Maitland Showground $5 entry. All proceeds go to the Cancer Council

Bar Games

Are You Game?

3pm - 6pm, Thursdays Godfrey Tanner Bar

THURSDAY 14

1pm -3pm, Bar on the Hill

Jessica Mauboy Newcastle Entertainment Centre

ACO - Mozart Clarinet Concerto Newcastle City Hall

Empire Wheeler Place

Yak Magazine - November 2013 19

NOVEMBER FRIDAY 15

THURSDAY 21

Charity Barefoot Bowls

Jordie Lane EP Launch

6.30pm, Maitland Park Bowling Club $10 entry. 18+ only. All proceeds go to the Cancer Council.

Lizotte’s Newcastle

Empire

FRIDAY 22

Wheeler Place

Tim Freedman - The Whitlams Lizotte’s Newcastle

THURSDAY 28 Empire Harrison Craig Civic Theatre, Newcastle

Newcastle City Hall

Wheeler Place

The Olive Tree Market

Empire

SATURDAY 23

9am, The Junction Public School

Empire

Wheeler Place

Newcastle City Farmers Markets 8am, Showground, Broadmeadow

Empire Wheeler Place

end of year exams MONDAY 18

8am, Showground, Broadmeadow

Empire

Charity 80’s Theme Dress Up Trivia Night 2pm, Maitland Park Bowling Club $100 per table, 10 to a table, 18+ only. All proceeds go to the Cancer Council

end of year exams

Wheeler Place

Empire Wheeler Place

Jordie Lane EP Launch

Wests New Lambton

SATURDAY 30

Empire

from 6pm, Bar on the Hill

McAlister Kemp

Newcastle City Farmers Markets

MONDAY 25

Wind Up Wednesday

End of Year Exams Conclude

Wheeler Place

WEDNESDAY 20

FRIDAY 29

SUNDAY 24

Empire

TUESDAY 19

Wheeler Place

Empire

Wheeler Place

SUNDAY 17

7pm, Bar on the Hill Free entry Featuring Gillies and #Hashtag DJs Prize for best recycled costume

Wheeler Place

Fobulous! The Laughing Samoans

SATURDAY 16

The End Party

TUESDAY 26 Watt Space Opening Night 6.30pm, Watt Space Gallery

Empire Wheeler Place

WEDNESDAY 27

Lizotte’s Newcastle

Wind Up Wednesday from 6pm, Bar on the Hill

Wheeler Place

20 Yak Magazine - November 2013

By Tanya McGovern

Colin Waters Associate Professor of Physics Associate Professor Colin Waters specialises in the field of space physics and has been teaching for over 16 years. Colin says there are often misconceptions surrounding what space physicists’ study. “So space physics, when you say that at a social gathering, most people think astronomy and astrophysics and black holes.” He explains that space physics is less to do with looking far into space, and “is more to do with areas that we use, the useful stuff of space”. Space physics also looks into the way the Earth sits in the sun’s outer atmosphere, the impact of solar activity on human technology both in space and on Earth, and space currents like the aurora. Earth’s assets in this area of space include spacecraft, like GPS satellites. Colin says that Australia is expected to be in the path of a geomagnetic (solar) storm, in the later part of this year or in early 2014. High solar activity has the potential to wreak havoc on the earth’s electricity grids, and that’s something he’s working to minimise.

Space physics “is more to do with areas that we use, the useful stuff of space.”

The latest and most famous geomagnetic event took place in March, 1989 in Quebec, Canada. The geomagnetic storm began as intense auroras formed around the poles, and later developed to the extent that it could be seen as far south as Florida and Texas, USA. The storm caused a change in the Earth’s magnetic field, subsequently tripping out the circuit breakers in Quebec’s power grid. Colin explains that Australia was once believed to be relatively safe from such solar activity due a “latitudinal effect” and the way the earth’s magnetic field is shaped towards the north. But a power failure in a New Zealand transformer, which was concluded to be the result of geomagnetic activity, changed that. It takes two days for a solar storm to reach earth, and space physicists today have the technology to detect and track its approach. In Australia, there are currently no procedures in place, such as shifting power around the national grid, to minimise the impact of a solar storm. Colin’s currently working with a group of seven researchers on a project to study the impact of solar activity on Australia’s electricity grid. This area of research is significant, and is being examined by researchers worldwide. NASA has dedicated between $5-6 million to researchers in the USA. The Australian Research Council has given Colin and the seven researchers a $195,000 grant to investigate the impact of geomagnetic currents on our electricity grid. “You can’t stop what’s coming, but we’re trying to find out the best way and what procedures will minimise the impact of those events.”

Yak Magazine - November 2013

By Lucy McLeod

International House, or IH as it is fondly referred to by its residents and alumni, is one of the four residential colleges located on the Callaghan campus at the University of Newcastle. Established in 1989, International House is home to 226 residents from across Australia and the globe. One of the most common misconceptions about IH is that it is a college purely for international students; however, it derives its name from the higher ratio of international students compared to other colleges. This enables every resident, international or domestic, to meet and befriend a wide range of people from all over the world and to experience a diverse range of cultures and nationalities. The concept of an International House is not exclusive to the University of Newcastle; IH is just one of many International Houses spread throughout Australia and all over the world. You can find an International House in Sydney, Melbourne and Wollongong, as well as across Germany, USA and the United Kingdom. The first International House was opened in New York City in 1924 by a YMCA official named Harry Edmonds. The mission of the very first International House was to provide foreign students with suitable accommodation and the opportunity to learn about other cultures in the hope it would promote international tolerance and understanding. At the University of Newcastle, International House’s motto is Nec Sorte Nec Fato, translating to “neither by chance nor by fate”. This phrase literally means that we make our own future by the way we behave in the present. Unlike Edwards Hall, students at International House do not live in an American-style dormitory. Instead, residents are spread across eleven housing blocks, living in five, six or ten share apartments. The friendly rivalry across the blocks is fierce, with each block forming a tight bond over the course of a year living, studying and partying together. You may have heard whispers across campus of the infamous (but ridiculously fun) college parties, especially during O-Week, but college life at IH is much more than that. International House is built on a foundation of values, including respect, participation and community spirit. Throughout the year residents participate in charity fundraisers, sporting, cultural and academic events as well as indulge in the occasional party. International House has its own places and spaces; any resident will tell you about the good times had in the Green Room, IH’s common room, hanging out by the pool or having a lazy picnic on the Grassy Knoll, a patch of grass that gets the most perfect amount of sun. Living at International House is an experience you will never forget (trust me; I’ve been here almost three years), it’s more than space at the university; it’s been home to thousands of students over the past 24 years. Designed by Hannah Sunderland

22 Yak Magazine - November 2013

With the pinnacle event on the Australian University Sport Calendar – the Australian University Games – done and dusted for another year, its time to reflect on the year that was for the University of Newcastle’s teams and athletes. AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITY CHAMPIONSHIP Rowing (30 Sept – 4 Oct 2013) Despite some horrendous Ballarat weather, we achieved our best result in recent memory, placing 5th overall and scoring two silver medals and a bronze. Jess Richardson and Nicola Metcalfe were our dominant rowers, claiming silver in the women’s pair and another silver as one half of the women’s coxed four. Conrad Bond led the way for the boys, winning bronze in the men’s single scull. With the girls claiming 4th place overall and the boys with 7th, Newcastle’s 5th is a tremendous result.

Distance Running Team NCLE posted some strong results with a small team in the Sydney 10k, with first-year Guy Walters winning gold in the Men’s. Sam Purcell wasn’t far behind with 6th, and Lauren Hill had a solid run to finish 11th. At the Gold Coast Marathon we had another 3 finishers, with Kas Gregory in his second Uni Champs event for the year coming in 42nd in the half-marathon. Nick Duffy fared slightly better in 22nd, with Caroline Joy the pick of the Newcastle runners, posting 5th place in the Women’s.

AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITY GAMES (29 Sept – 4 Oct 2013) In the biggest event Australian University Sport has ever had – 8000 students – Newcastle’s team of 238 punched above its weight (as usual) on the Gold Coast. This year the honour of UoN’s highest ranking team went to women’s hockey, who topped the table in Division One, ultimately finishing 3rd. 2013 was a medal-fest for UoN – 32 in total! Major contributors were Athletics with 12 and Taekwondo with 11. A further three to swimming and one each to women’s hockey, sailing, men’s touch, men’s football, women’s beach volleyball and lawn bowls rounded out a successful games. Central Coast swimmer Cassie van Breugel was one of the stand outs – with two silver medals and a bronze, plus a bunch of top-5 finishes, Cass put Newcastle women’s swim Team in 7th place overall! She even managed to beat 2012 London Olympic gold medallist Melanie Schlanger in the 50 backstroke. Top effort Cass! All up we finished in 13th on point score (of 40 competing institutions). We are still chasing those elusive Division One pennants though – our last one came when our Ten Pin Bowlers dominated the competition in 2009!

Sydney Running Festival and Melbourne Marathon results still to come!

STILL TO COME EASTERN UNIVERSITY GAMES (7-11 July 2013) 193 students made the trip to Wollongong to contest the EUG. Placing 4th overall on point score, but 8th on pennants won, we were a little light on first places this year, despite playing off in four gold medal matches on the final day! Top honours for team NCLE this year went to Men’s Hockey with their gold, with a further four teams falling just short and coming home with silver (AFL 9’s, Men’s Football, Women’s Football and Men’s Tennis). We were lucky to be graced with the two of Newcastle’s best female soccer players in Jasmin Courtenay and Tara Andrews who, between them, scored about 40 goals for the week!

Australian University Championship – Triathlon (1 December 2013)

And in 2014… Our biggest year ever! Eastern University Games, Newcastle

Australian Uni Championship,

Surfing, Newcastle

Australian University Games, Sydney

If you want to get involved, contact unisport@theforum.org.au

Yak Magazine - November 2013

CAMPUS WHIP AROUND With some students reaching the end of their academic life, we thought we’d reminisce about the important, influential and sometimes annoying teachers who have helped us along the way. Here’s students from Ourimbah and Callaghan on their memories of their favourite (or least favourite) teachers. Jodi Millard Callaghan Campus I had this one teacher called Mrs Doyle who taught me Year 12 English and, more importantly, was the first to teach me about the golden rule of telling and not showing in writing. Mrs Doyle was not as conservative as our other teachers in our strict Christian school. Her son was a tattoo artist, and we would often have classroom debates about subjects that other teachers would consider taboo. As part of our school uniform we were expected to wear a button up shirt (buttoned to the very top button) worn with a tie and tucked into a high waisted grey skirt. We looked ridiculous. I rebelled against the uniform requirements until my last year of school when I decided to uphold the uniform with pride. Other teachers commended me but Mrs Doyle constantly told me that my skirt, which reached my belly button, looked ridiculous and I should pull it down. I don’t think she really cared about the height of my skirt. I was quite a lazy student who didn’t study and handed things in late but I think, underneath it all, she saw some potential in me that others didn’t and I’m thankful for that.

Shelby Clements Ourimbah Campus My memories of my school teachers are tainted by my poor behaviour, especially in senior high school (sorry guys). But I did have a few favourites, one of them being Miss Anstey. She was the drama teacher, had only finished uni maybe 3 or 4 years before I came along, had fiery red hair, and used to let us swear in class. She was cooler then cool. She used to not only run the musicals, but Rock Eisteddfod as well, and whenever I got too heated in normal classes I’d run off to find her where we would talk about all the things that interested me, and how I could harness my creativity (and rat bag-ness) to achieve something better from my education. Then there was my year 5 teacher Mr. Bamford. He was super tall and played the tuba. He waved his arms about frantically whenever he tried to explain something to the class, and taught me the values of cricket through spelling. I appreciated the teaching, and even now when I see him in the street, back home he still says hello, so that’s nice.

Emily Steele Callaghan Campus

Although a lot of people will have a good go at me for going to Kurri High, and any fellow Kurri kids reading this magazine will agree I was very lucky to have some amazing teachers. In my final year at Kurri I was lucky enough to have some very influencial people. Mr Rippon didn’t just teach us about modern history, he taught us about the world. He was full of knowledge about all topics and we would often attempt to steer him onto these during class to pass the time. He contributed to my love of travel. He taught me that although, yes, I do say stupid things and ask dumb questions (When asked why Hungary doesn’t have a large navy fleet, I answered lack of funds. For those who don’t know, Hungary is surrounded by land. No water. Thus, lack of Navy ships), those dumb things helped you learn. Mrs Donnelly was the most untraditional teacher I’ve had. We run amuck in her class and it was fabulously fun. She could contain us (barely) when work actually needed to be done, but otherwise we managed to go crazy every drama lesson. She was dedicated to us, completely invested in our performances and knew there was little to do to help us on the theory side of life. She took on board the serious of us and let those there to have fun, have fun. I do believe she made separate marking criteria just so Cameron Bates and Blake Parrey didn’t fail. Pretty much, she was a crazy lady who ran an even crazier class. The last teacher who needs a special mention is Shane. He was my extra curricular drama lesson teacher. My mother put me in lessons to harness my ‘out there’ personality. He was a harsh man who by no means, took any shit. He taught me to speak loudly and clearly, to hold my head high and my back straight and that you should always roll your sleeves up when you wear a jumper. He also taught me to respect others and respect myself. He pretty much taught me everything from how to speak, through to how to be a good human being. Design by Anneliese Wild

WEDNESDAY, 27 NOVEMBER 7PM - BAR ON THE HILL F EAT URING

Prize for best recycled costume! 18+. CONDITIONS OF ENTRY APPLY. FOR MORE DETAILS VISIT WWW.UONSERVICES.ORG.AU

Yak Magazine - November 2013

F E AT U R E A R T I S T By Meg Francis

aking out number one on the Triple J Unearthed chart, Tin Lion was my obvious choice for this review. The “brainchild” of Jesse Fultone, Tin Lion is cool, smooth and wickedly hipster combining indie rock with an old school funk. Considering the splash Tin Lion is making in the Australian music pond, it’s surprising to discover that Jesse only started this little project less than a year ago. Triple J comment that “these disparate styles are mixed in a cast iron pot, set to stew, then soaked in synthesizers and pushed out of speakers resulting in uncontrollable dancing by those within earshot”. Originating in Melbourne, Tin Lion mixes old school electronica dance with modern punk which explodes into a genre of music that makes you want to dance like it’s 1983.

Tin Lion’s three debut tracks are available on the Triple J Unearthed website and each offers a new dimension of sound. Particularly, No Clothes is a sweet tune because really who doesn’t love a song about getting naked? However, its Best Pants that takes the metaphysical cake here with Fultone showcasing his unbelievable talent in the multi-layered dimensions of the track. A little slow to begin with but once the rock, funk, percussion, vocals and electronica really start to work together, they make an absolute killer track that will so get stuck in your head all day. Lewi McKirdy backs me up here by commenting on Best Pants, “I can get down to this so hard. This is made for dancin’ to. I wanna see your white-hot show in a hall or someplace where I’ve got enough space to throw my hot bod around”.

Jesse’s self-confessed influences include Psyche, 2nd Line Funk and New York Disco, but there is a definite parallel with the late but great LCD Soundsystem. The trick with Tin Lion is that you are dipping into a different era of music, the underground of New York dance scene and the beat of Australian indie rock/ punk. Tin Lion merges with percussionist James Garuccio during live acts, which only adds to the extreme ‘dance-ability’ (my own new word!) and atmosphere of the set. If your cup of tea is alternative, check out Tin Lion. Find Tin Lion online: http://tinlion.com.au SEARCH ‘Tin Lion Music’

Tin Lion is cool, smooth and wickedly hipster

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end... at which point you get to reminisce on what once was with the very dude that made it happen - the God Man himself. If it’s what floats your boat, hitting Heaven and its pearly gates is the utmost salvation for the embattled, God-fearing devotee, where the method to his madness is finally revealed in the script that was your life. Depending on your belief system, you may or may not get another chance, but if you’re a Buddhist and have acted justly in previous lives, you may just get one more crack - the ultimate humiliation - as a human once again.

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E N get any better until it comes to an V lifeLdoesn’t Nope,O

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Case F e Case F e

By Martin Shadwick

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He gave us quite the playground in planet Earth, yet considering how righteously we’ve justified its desecration in his name, he’s entitled to a little bit of sadistic exploitation of our own misery. There’s a lot to say for his lovingness, because good things do sometimes happen, but a world full of only love would eventually get frigging boring. Most comedians hate the people they make jokes about, and from the unexplainably frustrating situations you’ve had to laugh to keep yourself sane in, you can only blame the divine comedian.

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And Christians, if you want to convince an atheist that God is loving, you’ll never do it with philosophy alone. Show them Jesus, who died for them and rose again. Without Jesus I probably wouldn’t think God was loving either.

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So, atheists, if you want to convince a Christian that God is not loving, it’s insufficient to point out that evil and suffering exist. Everyone knows that. What you need to do is demonstrate that Jesus did not die for sins or rise from the grave. In that case, there would be suffering, but no hope.

LOVE

GOD’S LOVE

It must be conceded, however, that his sense of humor and vengefulness has taken some time to develop. His early practical jokes, such as the rivers of blood, dead firstborns and permitting the crucifixion of his son are a little dark (though chatting to Moses through a burning bush is a stoner classic!) and would prompt another to argue that ‘God works in mysterious ways’, but he’s subtilised and refined his acts of comeuppance with age. In the 21st century, there’s more to blame God for than ever, and just when you think you’ve run out of things to blame him for, you die.

Too good to be true? Or just the kind of unfathomable yet majestic thing a loving God would do?

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God is a douche. However you believe in his divine manifestation - the multitudinous personal gods hovering over every human being; a cosmological Gaia butterfly-effecting every coincidence; or a bearded, cloud-lounging maestro orchestrating your misfortune - God the Creator wants nothing more than a comedy of errors entirely at your expense. He may not love you, but he loves to humiliate you.

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For the Christian, however, more important is the solution to suffering and evil. Granted, all manner of things are wrong with our world. But is there an answer? Is there any hope? Thank God, there is! And it’s breathtaking: a solution which is anchored in the past, oriented toward the future, and received in the present. • Anchored in the past: When the Son of God was crucified, bearing in himself the full horror of evil and all its consequences. Jesus died for you! What a gift! What a sacrifice! What love! • Oriented toward the future: Jesus who died was also raised bodily to life. His resurrection is the guarantee that God will one day renew all creation – a glorious future where there is no more death, mourning, crying or pain. • Received in the present: When anyone trusts in Jesus, their sins are forgiven and they become children of God and heirs of this hope.

Case s t e A g a i nF

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You see, atheists and Christians frame this discussion very differently. That’s one reason we find each other’s arguments unpersuasive. For the atheist, the most significant factor is the presence of suffering and evil in our world. A world with Alzheimer’s disease, chemical weapons and famine does not seem like the handiwork of a loving God. Suffering and evil exist. God is not loving. QED.

Okaaay. We both know that’s not going to happen. You are either already convinced – and hoping I don’t say anything stupid! – or already a cynic, in which case it’s unlikely four or five paragraphs will change your mind. Especially since one is already gone!

GOD’S LOVE

Convince you that God is all-loving in 350 words?

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26 Yak Magazine - November 2013

Yak Magazine - November 2013

Environmental Science student Emily Wood challenges what you know about H20 and explains why ‘going with the flow’ isn’t always the best approach when it comes to water management. Next time you flush a toilet, think about this: the water in your toilet is cleaner than the drinking water of nearly one billion people on the planet. In Australia, we are lucky enough to have easy access to plenty of clean water. Not everyone in the world is so fortunate. Whilst clean H20 is considered to be one of our most basic human rights and is arguably the world’s most environmentally significant resource, it is also increasingly at risk of becoming a very scarce commodity. The amount of water on our planet is fixed. The same water is continuously moving through a cycle of evaporation, condensation and precipitation. If all of this water were squished into a sphere, it would stretch just 1384km in diameter. That is roughly the distance between Brisbane and Melbourne. A sphere made of the total drinkable fresh water on earth would be 65km in diameter, that is less than the distance between Callaghan and Ourimbah Campus.

As the world grows and changes, so too must our approach to resource management. We need to stop the waste of water resources and consider the allocation more carefully. Water.org anticipates that by 2020 we will need 17% more water than is available in order to supply the world. This projection does not include an allocation of water for environmental systems, which are essential to the health and reliability of our own water supply. This conflict between human and environmental demand is a significant issue in Australia, where sensitive ecosystems, like those connected to the Murray-Darling, are being affected by the water demands of industrial agriculture. In Newcastle, our water is managed by the Hunter Water Corporation and is sourced from three types of catchments; rivers, dams and groundwater systems. Protecting these vital resources is not only the responsibility of Government agencies and organisations like Hunter Water, everyone is responsible. Hunter Water said efficient showerheads will save enough water in 2013 to fill Charlestown swimming pool 223 times. Or you could just spend less time in the shower to do your part and save litres of water. Really, how long do you need to be in there?!

So water covers 70% of the earth’s surface, but only 1% of that is drinkable fresh water. This 1% is not distributed equally or according to demand. Its distribution is largely dependent on environmental factors beyond our control, such as climatic variability and rainfall, and influenced by other significant economic and social factors. One such factor is urban growth. For the first time in human history more people live in cities than in rural areas. The increased demand on underground water resources, known as aquifers, is draining subsurface basins much faster than rainfall can replenish them. Australia is home to the largest and deepest aquifer in the world, the Great Artesian Basin. There are currently just under 2000 freely flowing bores, and more than 9000 mechanical pumps, drawing a total 1,500 mega litres of water per day from the Basin. Many of these bores are unregulated or abandoned, resulting in the wastage of water that has been stored safely underground for as long as 10, 000 years. Households are big users of our water. When it comes to indoor household water usage the most water-intensive activity is bathing or showering, taking up 47% of an average Sydney household’s usage. The domestic water consumption of an average Newcastle household is 165 litres per person, per day.

It is particularly important to try and use less water during the summer period, as hotter temperatures and drier weather means more evaporation and more pressure on our water resources. Every litre you save is important. Hunter Water customers can exchange their old showerhead for a free water efficient one by bringing a recent water bill to a Hunter Water office or library (Cessnock, Maitland, Kurri Kurri, East Maitland, Thornton and Rutherford) or a council administration centre (Dungog, Port Stephens, Cessnock, Lake Macquarie and Maitland). For more information on what you can do to conserve and protect water please visit www.hunterwater.com.au and www.water.org.

28 Yak Magazine - November 2013

Lachie Leeming talks to the mother of wheelchair basketball in Newcastle and uncovers an inspirational story of determination. It is all too fitting that in my last article as an editor of this glossy magazine, I was fortunate enough to conduct my favourite interview to date. It started similarly enough, with my articles overdue and me scrabbling on the internet for a contact that I could talk to about wheelchair basketball in Newcastle. I came across the name Nicole Palmer, inauspiciously written down as merely the contact for Newcastle wheelchair basketball on the Wheelchair Sports NSW page. Far from being a meagre question and answer about the sport in our lovely region, the interview turned out to be an insight into a mother’s commitment to the welfare of her son, and the lengths she went to in creating a level playing-field. The interview transcended anything I expected as I was taken aback by Nicole’s openness, drive and humility. The lack of wheelchair basketball came to Nicole’s attention when her youngest son, Coban, was diagnosed with Perthes’ disease two years ago. Perthe’s disease usually affects children between the age of three and eleven, and causes the hip joint to deteriorate to the point where Coban was put in a wheelchair fulltime at age nine. “He got to a stage where he was going stir crazy, and needed something to do that he could still do in his chair,” Nicole told me. The local basketball stadium couldn’t help due to a lack of suitable facilities, but they put the Palmer family into contact with the Sydney Wheelchair Sports organisation. Coban attended a Christmas camp in Sydney where he trialled a number of wheelchair sports, but the second he lined up for basketball it was obvious where his immediate sporting future lay. When a New Zealand coach told the family to sign Coban up somewhere because of his clear talent and potential, there was no looking back. But Nicole found that finding a sport for Coban to excel in was merely the tip of the iceberg. For a start, there was an almost non-existent wheelchair basketball scene in Newcastle to connect with, particularly for a junior player. What events there where were spasmodic and poorly-attended. So Nicole began the hunt for a court they could set up regular sessions at. After a difficult eight months, the PCYC at Windale presented their services. Offering chair storage and court hire for a good price, Nicole had located their field of dreams. Regular, once a week sessions were the next task for Nicole to organise. She laughs off my suggestion that she is the deciding factor in the creation of a regular wheelchair basketball presence in Newcastle. “I’d like to think so,” she said. “Wheelchair sports were fantastic as well, but it was more

of an issue that the players were starting to get disinterested due to the irregularity of the events.” Nicole suggests that locking in a regular time, usually Wednesday nights, is a major factor in the growth of the sport now. The gradual and carefully planned start-up process is something Nicole cites as crucial to the longevity of the sport in the Hunter. “We took our time with this program. We didn’t want to start it up willy-nilly and then just fold quite quickly. Even if it started off slow, we wanted it to build and be around for a long time,” Nicole said. Long-term plans for the sport in the region are currently receiving even more thought, with applications for funding from Newcastle Permanent and other organisations set to ensure wheelchair basketball stays in the Hunter for years to come. Funding also becomes crucial when the extra expenses that wheelchair sports players face are factored in. “It’s so much more expensive for wheelchair sport players to go places. Accommodation is more expensive, and you can’t just jump

Yak Magazine - November 2013

on a plane -you’ve got two chairs, your day chair and your sports chair, making the logistics really difficult,” she said. The hard work Nicole has put in to make wheelchair basketball a viable sport in the Hunter has been hugely beneficial for Coban, with him earning a spot in the junior NSW representative side. Coached by national representative wheelchair basketball player Troy Sachs, Nicole has helped him formulate a 12-month calendar with more regular events for the junior NSW representatives.

“They were expected to go up there and get thumped. . . but they’ve got a fair bit of ticker” Talking about Coban’s representative experiences so far, Nicole’s voice swells with pride as any mothers would. Playing in the Queensland Classic wheelchair basketball competition during the June long-weekend this year was a massive deal not just for Coban, but for all the young NSW players and everyone associated with them. Straight away they were faced with extra challenges, with Coban needing an age exemption just to play because the cut-off age was 12. Extra insurance and statutory declarations were required as well, and once all that was done, the NSW team then had to contend with their youthful appearance compared to the other teams. Filled with twelve and thirteen-year-olds, the NSW team were up against opposition players up to the age of seventeen. With the odds against them, Nicole’s pride can be understood. “They came third,” she tells me, the feel-good

factors pushing me to say that this should be made into some sporting against-the-odds movie. “Everyone thought they were only babies. Yes they were young, but they’ve got a fair bit of ticker,” Nicole modestly said. “Everyone the whole weekend was saying, ‘did you see the NSW juniors? They’re only kids but they’ve got so much talent.’ For the kids to hear that was amazing, because they were expected to go up there and get thumped. To see them grow over the weekend was just amazing”. “They were expected to go up there and get thumped…but they’ve got a fair bit of ticker” Through this work, Nicole agrees that a sense of community is now being fostered at regular wheelchair basketball nights. “All of the guys are putting out the challenges to their friends, ‘ah you big sook, come and play!’” she said. “It’s a really good atmosphere with younger and older people”. It’s also a good tester for able-bodied counterparts, with Nicole saying, “If you’re an able-bodied person and you’re suddenly put in a chair, it changes the way you play completely”. If your curiosity has been piqued, it is only $2 for a trial session. Long-term involvement is as easy as joining the PCYC. When I ask if there is anything else she’d like to add to the interview, Nicole’s answer is typical of the special type of people mothers tend to be. Rather then this story being the recognition of the hard work of a mother doing her best for her son, Nicole’s answer emphasises her desire for the competition to grow and become better: “Anyone, come and have a crack. Able-bodied or disabled, come and have a go”. For more information about getting involved with wheelchair basketball, visit: http://wsnsw.org.au/ai1ec_event/ newcastle-wheelchair-basketball/?instance_id=

30 Yak Magazine - November 2013

I have many. Too many. Cancelled flights. Sea-sickness. Lost bags. Pre-planned trips with a now ex-boyfriend. That was painful. Almost the worst, but my first independent camping trip with friends takes the cake. We (friends and people that weren’t my friends and I’m still a little unsure who invited them) decided it would be a great idea to go camping. The night before we left everyone stayed at my house to prepare. To prepare everyone else got shit-faced and left me to pack the trailer on my own. Everything went downhill from there. The trailer’s break lights blew before we left Kurri the next morning. Double demerits and red P’s meant I wasn’t taking chances. Dad came to the rescue. The boys never had any money; told me this after they ordered Maccas. The tent poles weren’t in the tent bag. Someone forgot their air mattress. The BBQ didn’t have a connection; went caveman and cooked over fire. We were dobbed on by old people further down the grounds. Tequila got the better of me. The other driver locked her keys in the car. We had no reception. She had no money. The boys jumped on her car; they put a massive dint in the bonnet. One of the girls ran off drunk in the middle of the night; when we found her she was hyperventilating and screaming that we had to take her home. We left at 11pm after collapsing tents and rolling them up with everything inside. I almost fell asleep at the wheel and had to sleep in the car, in a truck stop, in the middle of nowhere, for the rest of the night. Needless to say, I haven’t been camping since.

During a holiday to visit my family in Canada, I went on a spontaneous bus tour of the New England region of America – Boston, New York, Philadelphia and so on. The message about the trip had gotten lost in translation and I found out only the day before the planned departure day that we were going, but that wasn’t the last of things to be miscommunicated. On the departure day, we all got up early, piled suitcases and three generations into the Tarago and drove to a shopping centre car park in downtown Toronto. Standing in the car park with suitcases by their sides were clusters of families, an odd sight before the bus turned up. We clambered onto the bus, found our seats and that’s when I realised that I was on a Chinese bus tour. Yes, the tour guide was only going to detail the history of America in Chinese, Chinese. You were spoiled for choice though, with the guide speaking first in Cantonese then Mandarin. The on board entertainment didn’t involve any karaoke, but I did get to watch Kung Fu Panda in Mandarin and a scary crime movie where hostages were killed off periodically (come on, there were kids on the bus). When we reached the major cities, I was left to listen out for the few words I understood and put together my own rough history of America’s establishment. Thankfully, poor quality food from All-You-Can-Eats by the highway and blocked hotel plumbing in New Jersey hotel was the worst of it.

Yak Magazine - November 2013

I’ve had a few shockers overseas, usually due to my casual nature and propensity to trust every rugged swindler that I come across. From flipping quad-bikes off of jungle tracks in Thailand, to being bailed up in shifty Fijian alleyways, to vomiting on hands and knees in the main streets of Vietnam and Cambodia, I could write a book for Lonely Planet on how not to conduct yourself overseas. The thing that rocked me the most though was not abroad, but instead was on the usually idyllic Australian retreat, Fraser Island. After a few Coca-Colas or beers or whatever young blokes drink at night, nature called, and I headed to the nearby bushes to relieve the building pressure in my bladder. Bathed in moonlight, a Labrador suddenly stalked out from underneath the bush I was occupying, eyes wide with curiosity. “That’s odd,” I thought to myself. “I didn’t think there were any dogs on Fraser Island”. It was about then that I came to the chilling realisation that those inquisitive eyes, about thirty centimetres away from my wedding tackle, belonged not to a playful domestic dog, but to a wild dingo. A dingo that close up has a bulky head which resembles that of a crocodile, with inch-long jagged teeth protruding from a crooked jaw about the same size as a lawnmower. Luckily he eyed up my manhood, decided it didn’t appear overly appetising, and slinked back into the jungle. Needless to say, I always check bushes for dingoes now before peeing on them.

Some thoughts and homelessness in Paris:

observations

from

night

A large bolted gate where there should be a hostel office is a bad sign. Being indistinguishable from a British person can be a hindrance to getting help from the French. When I think about travel travesties, I consider myself pretty lucky. Maybe it’s my pedantic organisational tendencies, perhaps I’m just lucky. But I have never really experienced a travel misadventure so bad that I wanted to crawl in a hole and pray apocalypse. This year, however, I did the typical right of passage for Aussie Uni students, and jumped on a plane for a joyously cramped 23 hours, to visit our colonial ancestors. But, despite my luck I managed a bit of strife. On a Contiki bus in Florence the average Contiki cough grew a bit more sinister and I ended up waiting 6 hours to see an English-speaking doctor.

Who would’ve thought that the epitomic people of European class and charisma would be the ones to establish The Simpsons themed takeaways, and doughnut shaped burgers. Does whatever the manager is yelling mean ‘regular orange juice’? It doesn’t mean ‘regular orange juice’ and he’s getting frustrated with you showing him your order receipt with your best attempt at a question mark face. The prospect of spending a night wandering the streets of Paris, should you not be able to make the last train to the airport, isn’t a nice one.

The doctor looks at me and tells me I’m sunburnt. I know I rank an 11 on the scale of one to ‘damn girl, that white hurts my eyes’, but I also know I couldn’t have been sunburnt because I was wearing a jumper in a heat wave for the past two days. But, then the guy goes one better. He prescribes me aloe vera gel. Actually prescribes it. The person who served me at the pharmacy actually LOL-ed (appropriate use of terminology)! But I had no idea what was so funny because everything was in Italian.

Checking that your debit card works abroad is better done before your travel card runs out so you don’t have to wait in a takeaway shop for change that will get you to a bearable place to spend the night.

Not only did it cost an arm and a leg (thank goodness for travel insurance), but, I still don’t actually know what was wrong with me. I’m not sure the doctor did either, he was a bit like ‘here’s drugs, now get out.’

Some people use airport lounges as a safe place to come down from heroin.

Trains are a great way to get around. Some French girls don’t seem to mind letting one rip right next to a stranger, without the slightest attempt at subtlety. Some French guys don’t mind passionately making out with girls who have just let one rip.

Should’ve brought some heroin to get through 23 hours in the airport. Coming home can be nice. An Australian accent never sounded so bloody great, mate. Designed by Liz Crichton

32 Yak Magazine - November 2013

Gabrielle king explores Success hits close to home, posing the question: Is there a key to going viral online?

t started with what she refers to as a “lightning strike”, a spark of inspiration that saw communication student Emma Elsworthy’s words thrown into the limelight. ‘Sixteen small steps to happiness’, a simple how-to guide posted on the popular blogging website Tumblr, was a product of the 22-year-old’s nomadic home-life, the stresses of university and the development of new and wholesome friendships. Within two days, the blog post had received 2000 re-blogs. A week later, it sky-rocketed to 100,000, and, five months on, it sits just shy of the half a million mark and has been published in the Newcastle Herald. Emma credits the viral success of her blog to the structure of her content. She says the theme was based on an organic lifestyle and her style of writing reflected that, which “empowers the reader without pushing them”.

interest and are less likely to become repetitive or mundane when shared amongst social circles. Timing, both immediate and long-term, also plays a vital role in the success or failure of an online post. Different periods of the day – morning, noon, afternoon, evening and late at night – have varying amounts of traffic and different kinds of audiences. Who the post is targeted towards and when it is posted are factors that, when complementary to one another, can ensure the post receives its maximum traffic potential. Beyond the time of day however, is timing in relation to other posts. While video footage of disasters such as the tsunami in Japan or the mall massacre in Kenya generated much public interest, videos of people risking their own lives to save others during these situations often received just as much recognition. In times of hardship or devastation, people seek relief, so stories of human compassion provide a reassurance of recovery, while restoring many people’s faith in humanity. The accessibility of something online can also largely affect its reception. Those posts that are made public to everyone, are easy to find and simple to share are more likely to excel compared to those posts that are set to private, require an email sign-up or need more than one or two clicks to share with others.

“I think the reader begins to trust you if the piece doesn’t throw them, which makes them more likely to engage with it.” ‘Going viral’ refers to something online receiving an intense amount of traffic, often over an impressively short period of time. What exactly makes something go viral cannot be pinpointed. There is no certain way of guaranteeing a blog/ image/video/story that is posted on the internet will be phenomenally successful, but there are some factors that may help it take off. Content that triggers an emotional response can often receive a high amount of traffic. If something can make someone cry with happiness, gasp in shock or literally laugh out loud, there is a stronger inclination to share it with others who are likely to react in a similar way. By the same means, unusual or quirky pieces can evoke both curiosity and

While a list of potential viral-inducing elements can be rattled off, nothing can accurately conclude what online content will be successful and what will be lost in the abyss of the internet. What has made past phenomenon reach a viral state has varied widely. ‘Kony 2012’ was flawlessly edited and highly informative. ‘Christian the Lion’ was simple and honest but heart-warmingly inspirational. Gangnam Style was new, funny and innovative. Such hits do not follow a similar formula or adhere to set rules, which reinforces the idea that ‘going viral’ really comes down to a matter of luck. As for Emma Elsworthy, the popularity of her online blog motivated her to aim towards more established platforms such as websites and newspapers. When asked whether she believes she can create another post as successful as ‘Sixteen small steps to happiness’, Emma is uncertain but not necessarily doubtful. “I don’t think it’s impossible, but I guess I’ll just have to wait for lightning to strike again.”

Yak Magazine - November 2013

With Matthew Hatton

There are some aspects to student life that I love. There are some aspects to student life that I will never, for the life of me, understand.

Ah discrimination. Few words have as broad a meaning and yet such strong connotations. And fewer words are abused as frequently.

Take, for example, the choice of fermented beverage of the student body.

What is it exactly? Good-old Pocket Oxford tells me that it’s to 1) ‘make or see a distinction’, or 2) ‘treat unfavourably or favourably, especially on the basis of race, gender etc.’

Maybe it’s because, on the inside, I’m a 60 year old man that would love nothing more than for you all to just get off my lawn, but I sit in either of the licenced premises on our Callaghan campus and I just…what is wrong with you people? Of course I realise that being a student has its drawbacks in terms of personal finances and as a result you want to make the most out of what you have, but I can’t help but think too many of us go for quantity over quality. That sixpack of XXXX Summer Lager may be cheap, but holy God how can you enjoy putting that in your mouth? You don’t have to smash a case of the cheapest tins you can find in order to enjoy having drink at the end of a long day/week/early afternoon.

‘I sit in either of the licenced premises on our Callaghan campus and I just…what is wrong with you people? For example, with summer approaching, you may be inclined to want to spend some time near a natural body of water indulging in a lunch of deep fried fish and potato. In this case, there is nothing that accompanies this better than a Cooper’s Pale Ale (the one with the green label). Maybe you’re after something with a bit more of a fruity taste, something that might go down well with some cheese and crackers sitting beside a pool or relaxing on a balcony in the sun. For that, you’d be looking towards your Little Creatures Pale Ale. Delicious. Having a BBQ? James Boag’s Premium Lager. Mexican feast? Dos Equis, not Corona. You shouldn’t need to put fruit in your beer in order to give it a passable taste. A beer to go with your dessert? Anything thick, black and that pours like sump oil. They go really well with chocolate, chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream. Looking for a Christmas present? Anything from Murray’s, Brew Dog, Sierra Nevada’s seasonal ranges, Ekim, Feral Brewing (especially their Hop Hog). So go and try something new, something delicious. Try quality, not quantity. Worst-case scenario? You end up a bit healthier because although beer is really delicious, we all know that in quantity it is not particularly good for you.

Its conventional use seems to alternate between these definitions at the will of its user, usually to the end of condemning whatever the hell act they feel like. For instance, ever hear the argument that ‘you don’t see naked men on the front of playboy, so it’s a sexist industry’. That statement uses ‘distinction’ to define it as discrimination (first definition) but then uses the negative connotations of the second definition to condemn it as necessarily ‘unfavourable’. It’s like proving that humans are biologically related to beef to justify cannibalism.

Discrimination, people, can be a good thing. So much has it been used for its negative connotations that people often conjure it to describe and condemn its exact opposite! A NSW union recently campaigned against mandatory urine testing for rail workers on the basis that it ‘amounted to sex discrimination’. But what they mean is the opposite: NSW Rail has failed to realise that urine testing is more invasive for women than men – they failed to discriminate. I would be speaking in perfectly acceptable English to say that things like government incentives that encourage indigenous people into university are discriminating. Discrimination, people, can be a good thing. You discriminate when you slow down behind an L-plater, when you decide who to hang out with, or when you stop talking to a hot girl because you notice the size of her hands – in Thailand. You might respond, ‘who cares? It’s just a word’. Yes but words have power. If you can point to a statistic and say that a difference in outcome between groups inherently implies ‘unfavourable treatment’ then you’re pretty much saying that any difference in outcome between any groups is wrong. There are far more girls in my degree (communication) than boys. Should this be treated as a result of societal discrimination? Should we force women out of communication and into degrees where they are underrepresented? Or instead should we weigh up the individual rights of those women against the societal benefits of equality of outcome? Exclaiming that ‘it’s discrimination’ shouldn’t be the end of an argument; it should be the start.

34 Yak Magazine - November 2013

nd so we have reached the last page or our last issue for 2013. I am happy to announce that I will be back again next year as Managing Editor, but sadly, I will be saying goodbye to ALL my fellow Yaks who are retiring gracefully.

barely saying a word. That is not the case anymore, with the absolute height of friendship being achieved when we went to The Argyle together. That’s true love.

Some are graduating, some moving onto other ventures and one lucky bugger is hoping to exchange in France. Almost this time a year ago we were appointed onto the Yak team and sat around Bar on the Hill, terrified of each other and

Needless to say I am pretty devastated to be loosing all my new friends and thought a little tribute was need for each of these awesome guys who have made us laugh throughout the year.

Kate

Lachie

Sam

Ellis

Leeming

Rayfield

“minute master”

My right hand man, my co-captain, my shoulder to cry on when something goes wrong. Not many know this, but this lady is the most creative and interesting minute taker I have ever met. We don’t even care if she misses the most important stuff because she takes down notes like; “Have you really seen a bunyip Lachie, really? O.o”. She may return next year for honours and into a columns role, but she will be greatly missed as our Deputy Managing Editor.

“yakishly off topic”

Where do we begin. Have never met a footballer with such eloquence and expressiveness. His thoughts on different subjects would be close to unique I’d say. We can always rely on him for a good laugh and to forget to do the What’s On Section. Surely will be highly sort after for some type of opinion piece writing, cause honestly, who doesn’t want to read what Lachie has to say?

Bayden

Tanya

McDonald

McGovern

“multi-talented”

Man of many talents, moving from features to columns and onto sports. He is always full of great ideas, always ready to take on extra work to help us out and shares the love by giving out great ideas. Terribly unpunctual. But a great writer and a better guy.

Anneliese

“i can doodle amazing things” Wild

I suspect she pays no attention to me in meetings but is forgiven because she is an amazing artist. Part of the Hannaleise design duo, she performs magic in such a small amount of time, that I know we will see her work around.

“never chased for work”

The most dedicated, punctual and sane one of us all. She always gets her work in on time, takes on a massive workload and NEVER complains about it. She is taking on different responsibilities next year, but don’t fear, I will be hitting her up to contribute regularly.

“boots wearing” Sam joined our team halfway through the year and fit in straight away. He is 100% responsible for our magazine moving onto subjects like politics, theology and urban renewal. He will be our foreign correspondent next year from France and I can only hope that he will join our meetings via Skype because they wouldn’t be the same without his disjointed ideas and discussions about his wardrobe.

Lucy

“break my back” McLeod

What a trooper. This girl, proportionately, could carry more magazines than any weightlifter, I believe. Our new trolley has been named “The Lucy McLeod Memorial Trolley” in honour of her bad back and large chiro bills. This lady will be running a multimillion dollar company one day with the skills she has developed.

Hannah

“i can fix it”

Sunderland Like Sam, Hannah joined us mid year and became the piece we didn’t even know we were missing. The second mastermind designer, Hannah is always available to help us out and make the last minute finishes to ensure we provide the very best magazine we can. 100% reliable and we love when she wears almost exactly the same thing as Anneleise, by complete accident.

Getting a bit teary so I will wrap up, I, and I’m sure our readers, wish our Yak team the very best in their future endeavours. I hope they all know they will be sorely missed. As for me, catch yall’ next year.

- Emily