BFFs no more Helping teens through friendship breakups

BY TANNI HAAS

Friendships between teens can be fickle: one day they’re the best of friends; the next day one of them gives the other the cold shoulder. It’s hard when a former friend disappears from your life. How can parents help their teens through friendship breakups? Here’s what the experts suggest.

Let them express how they feel

The first thing parents should do is to let their teens express how they feel. Parenting coach and author Mercedes Samudio says that parents should create a safe space for their teens to experience the emotions that come with a breakup. “They’ll feel angry and hurt,” she says, “but if they know they have a safe space to explore all their feelings they’re more likely to share them with you.” If your teens feel comfortable sharing how they feel with you, they’re more likely to listen to your suggestions when they’re ready to move on and make new friends.

Be mindful about how you respond

Listen to your teens, but also be mindful of how you respond to what they’re telling you. “If you appear to be overly emotional about the situation,” says youth social worker Jessica Wein, “your child in the future may choose to withhold certain information as means to protect mom/dad from becoming upset.” Keep your emotions under control and listen in as nonjudgmental a way as you can, showing that you understand what they’re going through. The mere fact of knowing that you understand, says child psychologist Dr. Kennedy-Moore, “lightens the burden of big feelings for your child.”

Explain that friendship breakups are normal

Explain to your teens that friendship breakups and the emotional process they are going through are part of. “Remind your child that a friendship breakup isn’t a failure,” says social worker and author of several parenting books, Signe Whitson, “but rather a predictable (albeit painful) part of growing up.” Clinical psychologist Dr. Margaret DeLong adds that parents should emphasize that the end of a friendship doesn’t imply “that there’s something ‘wrong’ with your child or the other child or that it’s anyone’s fault.” Teens may not realize that they and their former friend have simply grown apart or that their former friend has developed new interests and is involved in activities that make them gravitate towards other people.

Encourage them to look for new friends

Encourage your teens to look for new friends and do it by casting as wide a net as possible, and by being open to meeting new people in the neighborhood, at school, and during extracurricular activities like clubs, sports teams, and youth groups. “Parents play an important role in making sure that their kids don’t put all of their nest eggs into a single peer group basket,” says Whitson, “but rather develop genuine relationships with multiple peers and all kinds of friendship groups.” Dr. DeLong agrees: “Help your child to develop relationships in a variety of settings. This way, when your child experiences the loss of a friendship, he or she will have other people to spend time with.”

Ongoing

BOOK BUDDIES

The Book Buddies program allows children to practice their reading in a judgment-free zone and can read to the best listeners—cats and other small pets. Book Buddies also helps the animals become better socialized before adoption.

5 p.m. Thursdays

Registration required Lollypop Farm

99 Victor Rd. 223-1330 lollypop.org

APRIL 8

EASTER BUNNY EXPRESS

Bring your little ones to meet Peter Rabbit and enjoy a round-trip holiday train excursion! There will be an Easter egg hunt and a self-guided tour of the museum at the halfway point. Other children’s activities and concessions will be offered. Restrooms will also be available. Also April 1 & 2

Arcade & Attica Railroad

278 Main St., Arcade 492-3100 aarailroad.com

APRIL 9

GLOW IN THE DARK EASTER EGG HUNT

With more than 2,000 eggs to hunt, this glow-in-the-dark Easter egg hunt will definitely light your kids up. For ages two through fifth grade, your kids can hunt down Easter eggs filled with candy and special prizes. For those who participate in the Sunday service, there will be fun games and activities provided for the children leading up to the event. Register in advance and have a chance to win a gift basket valued at more than $150. April 9 at 10:30 a.m. & April 10 at 12 p.m. CityHope Wesleyan Church

2070 Long Pond Rd. cityhoperochester.com

APRIL 16

APRIL 20

ROCDOG VISIT!

RocDog will be bringing therapy dogs to the library to spend time with people of all ages —say hello to the furry friends in the children’s area of the library. Prepare to shed yourself of any unnecessary stress, because petting a dog is good medicine. Drop-ins welcome!

(585)

KIDS SUMMER CAMP & ACTIVITY FAIR

The (585) Kids 2023 Camp and Activity Fair is the perfect way to learn about this summer's activities. This family event will provide you with information about athletic, science-based, outdoor, performing arts camps, and many more summer activities in the area.

11 a.m.–5 p.m.

Eastview Mall

7979 Pittsford Victor Rd., Victor 413-0040 info@585kids.com

APRIL 19

NINETEENTH-CENTURY STEM HOMESCHOOL DAY

Bring the kiddos and spend some time learning about nineteenth-century science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. The nineteenth century was full of scientific progress in urban and rural areas. Students will learn about mechanics in farming, engineering in the trades, chemistry in the kitchen, and math in the general store. They can also see the device that led to the first computer in action and build a simple machine.

1–4 p.m.

Genesee Country Village & Museum

1410 Flint Hill Rd., Mumford 538-6822 gcv.org

6:30–7:30 p.m.

Also April 6, May 4 and 18, June 1 and 15 Gates Public Library

902 Elmgrove Rd. 247-6446 gateslibrary.org

APRIL 22

Painting Dungeons And Dragons Miniatures

Enjoy painting Dungeons and Dragons miniatures with your little ones. Experts from Just Games will guide participants through the process of painting these small figures. This workshop provides all necessary supplies including a miniature to take home. For kids eight years old and up. A parent or guardian must accompany children under sixteen.

3–5 p.m.

Limited admission, registration required

Strong Museum of Play

1 Manhattan Square Dr.

263-2700 museumofplay.org

APRIL 23

SENSORY-FRIENDLY SUNDAY

The Strong Museum of Play will be open exclusively for children with special sensory, developmental, and physical needs. Explore the museum in a

MAY

JUNE

Teen/Tween Mother's Day Crafts comfortable and accepting environment that features fewer guests, light and sound reduction, extra visual safety signage, and designated quiet areas with sensoryfriendly toys. Due to limited space, tickets are required. A visit to the relaxing Dancing Wings Butterfly Garden and rides on the Strong Express Train are included.

8–10 a.m.

Strong Museum of Play

1 Manhattan Square Dr. 263-2700 museumofplay.org

APRIL 29

13TH ANNUAL AUTISM AWARENESS WALK

Bring the whole family for a fun and inclusive walk to celebrate diversity and raise awareness for autism. Food and beverages will be provided.

8–10 a.m.

Eastview Mall

7979 Pittsford Victor Rd. 223-3693 eastviewmall.com

MAY 2

TEEN/TWEEN MOTHER’S DAY CRAFTS

The best gifts are always handmade, especially when they are for a parent. These Mother’s Day crafts are great projects for both teens and preteens to work on.

Supplies limited; registration required.

6:30–7:30 p.m.

Gates Public Library

902 Elmgrove Rd.

247-6446 gateslibrary.org

MAY 9

RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN’S CINDERELLA

This Tony Award–winning musical is a family favorite. Featuring designs inspired by French pop-up books and spellbinding on-stage illusions, this triumphant Cinderella fits like a glass slipper!

Through June 4

Geva Theatre Center

75 Woodbury Blvd. 232-4382 gevatheatre.org

MAY 12

KIDS ZONE

Get some fresh air, take in the warm weather, and experience the blooming lilacs at the Lilac Festival. The kids will have the time of their lives playing outside and exploring the zipline, bounce houses, and rides in the Kid Zone.

Through May 21

Rochester Lilac Festival Highland Park 473-4482 rochesterevents.com

MAY 13

MOTHER’S DAY BRUNCH TRAIN RIDE

Ride the rails to celebrate Mother’s Day! Relax and enjoy a trip to Curriers Station as well as a catered brunch by Catered Creations.

11 a. m. Also May 14

Limited seating available Arcade & Attica Railroad

278 Main St., Arcade 492-3100 aarailroad.com

JUNE 9

SYMPHONIC SAFARI

Pack your binoculars and join the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra for a Symphonic Safari. The RPO will take attendees on an African adventure right here in town. Kids and families just might find an elephant or lion. Sweet and snuggly stuffed animals are not only welcome but encouraged!

2 p.m.

Hochstein Performance Hall

50 N. Plymouth Ave. 454-2100 rpo.org/event/symphonic-safari

JUNE 9

RIDE FOR MISSING CHILDREN

Bring the whole family for a unique and wonderful experience on the Ride for Missing Children. You will ride two-by-two for fifty to one hundred miles, escorted by the NYS Police and local law enforcement along the route. The ride takes educational rest stops at schools where there will most likely be presentations for the children.

7 a.m.

Registration required

Total Sports Experience

880 Elmgrove Rd. 458-4263

585kids.com | Spring 2023 37

Ages 8–14

Beginner & Intermediate levels

9:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Weekly through July & August

All equipment provided $270/week OR $75/day info@rocfencing.com

585-654-6047 rocfencing rocfencing

Design & Order NOW for DeliverySpringSale!

900 Panorama Trail S., Rochester, NY 585-385-2420

Store & Play Area: Mon-Fri 9-5 Sat 9-3

High Quality, Low Maintenance Vinyl Clad Wood cricketonthehearth.com

Attica & Arcade Railroad

278 Main Street, Arcade, NY 14009

Step back in time aboard our vintage World War ll-era diesel train excursions in New York State!

Easter Bunny Express

April 1, 2 & 8 at 1pm

The Easter Bunny will be hopping down the Railroad Trail! Kids Easter Egg Hunt, Prizes, and Face Painting. Fun for all ages!

Mother’s Day Brunch

May 13 & 14 at 11am

Celebrate Mom... with a relaxing ride on the Rails! A delicious brunch by Catered Creations at Curriers Station. LIMITED SEATING AVAILABLE!

Season Opener— Memorial Day Weekend

May 27, 28 & 29 at 1pm

Embark on a scenic journey through the countryside and farmlands that have remained virtually unchanged since the 1880s. At the Curriers Depot stop, you’re free to explore, look at the engine, take pictures, and talk with the crew.

BUY TICKETS: (585) 492-3100 • aarailroad.com