16 minute read
Special Feature Mental Health Guide
“Hey, you,” he said, his smile widening as I neared.
Elliot opened his arms wide and enfolded me into an embrace that seemed to hold fifteen years of waiting, of release from something unspoken, like I had given him permission to finally breathe. I held tightly to him, feeling his strong arms around me, and buried my face in his shoulder. I breathed in and smelled that familiar smell, lost to me more than a decade ago. It was like a shadow of a memory, something just out of reach that finally landed in my conscious mind.
“It’s so good to see you,” I said, my voice muffled into his shoulder as I held onto him.
He laughed, almost a relieved sound, and sighed. “It’s good to see you, too.” He tightened his grip around me and lifted me off the ground, rocking side to side.
I laughed at his words and pulled my face away to look at him. “I’ve missed you.”
His grey-blue eyes searched mine. “It’s been too long, Lily,” he said at last.
I could feel the weight of the sentiment, filled with so much that neither of us could quite put into words. There was so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to tell him…So much I was feeling. And apparently, he was, too.
“Shall we?” he asked, nodding his head in the direction of the door and releasing me.
We were seated at a tiny booth in the bar area, a cozy spot that lent itself well to conversation without too many ears. We gave the waitress our drink orders, letting her walk away before turning our attention back to each other.
I shifted in my seat and rested my hands on the menu in front of me.
He was here.
I was here. When we’d met seventeen years ago, there’d been an instant connection, something that drew us to each other like we’d known one another for years. It seemed we could talk about anything, never lacking for conversation, never encountering an awkward silence that needed to be filled. We were comfortable in each other’s space, and the falling happened fast and hard.
But Elliot wasn’t ready. I wanted and needed more than he was prepared to give.
Still, I waited, and hoped.
Over the next two years, I held onto that hope, even as I watched him with other women who weren’t me, women whose presence in his life seemed to last the blink of an eye before he was on to the next. Even through the parade of women, I stayed hopeful that one day, someday, he would finally see me.
The flirting didn’t help unblur the lines, either.
There was an easy banter that we shared, a lack of any kind of pretense of propriety with one another that sometimes edged dangerously close to the line. Ours was a relationship of remarkable transparency; and no matter how confessional I was to him about my own feelings, he still never ran screaming for the hills.
Despite all that, despite all the confidences we shared and the time we spent together, even the emails that seemed to fly between us with comforting regularity, I was still left waiting for him to say what I so wanted to hear.
It was the kiss that finally undid me.
A kiss that came after two years of waiting, two years of a dance that I never truly felt I knew the steps to, as he would seem to lead one way and then change course with dizzying speed. It was everything I had imagined it would be, passionate and breathless and as though the world stopped spinning on its axis.
All it took was a motorcycle ride on the back of his bright blue Yamaha, speeding down the abandoned streets of a city shrouded in the darkness of midnight. Pressed tightly against him, I had my arms wrapped around his waist as we rode, a thousand thoughts running through my helmeted head with a speed that outpaced the road under us. I knew he could feel my heartbeat against his back, and I could only wonder if he felt as I did.
And then, things between us changed.
In blazing contradiction to what seemed to be happening between us, Elliot sent me a clear message that I was not what he was looking for—and what he was looking for was a shallow distraction that came with no strings. Then one day, a woman had answered the door when I knocked, and I was left to drive home with a devastated heart and a mind filled with utter confusion. He had broken our plans…and replaced me with her, instead.
His explanation, when it finally came, was that he was keeping a safe distance, that she had been an alternative to what he believed would be a mistake with me. His honesty, coupled with his declaration that he didn’t feel anything more for me than friendship, left me reeling, but unwilling to walk away. I loved him too much, even if he would never return my feelings.
And then, it was over. His feelings hadn’t changed. Or so he said. And I was left forever with the memory of that kiss indelibly printed on my mind and my heart. A few months later, he was gone from my world like something I had merely imagined.
We were well into dinner, having finally ordered after an hour of sitting there. Neither of us had really touched our plates, so busy were we catching up on the last fifteen years of each other’s lives. All the struggles; all the growth. All the changes. “Can I tell you something?” I asked tentatively, looking down at my hands and trying to gather my courage to speak words I never thought I’d get to say, and now here he was.
“Of course,” Elliot said, reaching for his glass of sweet tea.
“I’ve never met anyone who was as confusing as you,” I said, finally meeting his gaze. “I never knew what you wanted. You knew what I wanted. That was never a secret.” I shook my head and could feel the sting of tears threatening. “But what happened between us…I never understood.”
Elliot leaned forward in his seat, looking at me intently. “I’m sorry for that, Lily. I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew I didn’t want a relationship. But I also didn’t want to be alone. I knew that starting something with you would be a mistake for both of us. My head just wasn’t in the right place for that.”
I nodded. “I understand,” I allowed. “And I knew some of the things that you were struggling with at the time, Elliot. But then…” I didn’t finish.
He did it for me. “Then we kissed.”
I nodded again.
“I’ve done a lot of growing up since then,” he said with a rueful smile. “Life is a harsh teacher sometimes. We’ve both been through a lot over these past fifteen years. And the fact that we’ve found each other, at the same place in life, after all this time, is not lost on me.”
I smiled at him, this man I had waited so long for, who had stolen my heart so completely that no one else had ever claimed it back. What I saw looking back at me was what I had hoped so long to see. It was possibility, openness… and a new beginning.
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MENTAL HEALTH GUIDE
SPECIAL FEATURE
Caring for our mental health is vital to our overall health and wellness, including our emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. Our mental health affects how we feel, think, and act. It determines how we handle stressors, how we relate to those around us and assists in making healthy life choices. Positive mental health is essential at every stage of our life, from childhood into adolescence and throughout adulthood. Do South® is proud to partner with local mental health experts who are here to help you through whatever challenges life throws your way.
MENTAL HEALTH GUIDE
SPECIAL FEATURE
Caring for our mental health is vital to our overall health and wellness, including our emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. Our mental health affects how we feel, think, and act. It determines how we handle stressors, how we relate to those around us and assists in making healthy life choices. Positive mental health is essential at every stage of our life, from childhood into adolescence and throughout adulthood. Do South® is proud to partner with local mental health experts who are here to help you through whatever challenges life throws your way.
1501 South Waldron, Suite 100, Fort Smith, Arkansas 479.561.7600 anchoredhopecounseling.net
Anchored Hope Counseling welcomes clients with a broad range of situations. We believe healing takes place within relationships and our goal is to create strong therapeutic relationships to support our clients’ healing process. We provide a safe, confidential environment for our clients to get help, hope, and healing. Some of our counselors are trained in different counseling practices including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), play therapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and grief/trauma therapy. We have MFTs (Marital/Family Therapists), LPCs (Licensed Professional Counselors), LCSWs (Licensed Clinical Social Workers), and APRN on staff.
EMDR is a structured trauma focused psychotherapy that was developed to alleviate symptoms of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and can be used to address symptoms that are a result of trauma, grief/loss, eating disorders, anxiety, chronic pain, addictions, and other distressing experiences. Using EMDR, the client briefly focuses on the trauma memory while simultaneously experiencing bilateral stimulation which is associated with a reduction in the vividness and emotion associated with the trauma memories.
Discovering with Dr. Deb is a bi-monthly podcast and is available on all platforms. This season was Discovering the Enneagram – super fun and interesting; and, starting in January 2023, we will have a new season on Discovering Trauma with Dr. Deb and co-host psychologist Dr. Christie Sprowls covering topics such as the body and trauma, vicarious trauma, and neuroscience and trauma.
Your senior years can be some of the best of your life, and at Baptist Health, we want to help you make them as healthy and happy as possible. We help seniors pursue complete physical and mental wellness by not only treating illness, but also helping them to prevent sickness and diseases. Family involvement plays a key role in maintaining mental health for seniors, and our providers work closely with families to provide individualized care. Our inpatient geriatric psychiatry program offers a safe, comfortable environment, supported by group activities, recreational therapy, spiritual enrichment and more led by professional staff. For details, visit BaptistHealth.com or call 479-441-5603.
7200 Cameron Park Drive, Fort Smith, Arkansas 479.785.3277 centerforhearing.net
Center for Hearing and Balance is proud to be the first clinic in the area to offer Cognivue screenings to patients. The results gathered from this new technology help our audiologists have a greater understanding of your cognitive health while ensuring a hearing-correction solution that is right for you. Hearing is a brain activity, your ears hear the sounds, but your brain is what makes sense of them. If your hearing loss is untreated and you’re not hearing the number of noises you once did, your brain is not processing those noises. This can lead to under-stimulation and loss of the brain staying sharp. Hearing health and brain health, call 479-785-3277 to schedule an appointment today!
5004 South U Street, Fort Smith, Arkansas 479.883.2223 healingtreetherapy.com
Women live healthier, happier lives when they feel confident about who they are. Healing Tree provides women the tools they need to uncover their true potential and embrace the life each was meant to live. Our therapists help women address difficulties including struggles with anxiety, perfectionism, childhood trauma, PTSD, mood disorders, and post-partum depression. All Healing Tree clinicians are trained in multiple trauma therapies including EMDR, hypnotherapy, brainspotting, and trauma conscious yoga. With two board-certified psychiatric mental health nurse practitioners on staff, our focus is to provide women with hope and understanding in a nonjudgmental environment.
Our targeted counseling for teen girls brings together creativity, life skills, and emotional healing to create a space where teens feel safe and connected. Girls today have it much harder than we did growing up. When we were kids, there weren’t completely unrealistic reality shows on every channel and unattainable expectations for appearances on social media. Our bullies stayed at school— they couldn’t follow us home on social media. Healing Tree therapists help teen girls develop the wisdom, strength, and confidence to handle the non-stop barrage of social media and peer pressure.
We all need a place to throw out the thoughts and feelings in our heads, sort through them, and uncover the reasons our lives are not where we want them to be so that we discover the path we were meant to follow. Our services include counseling and where appropriate, we also provide medication management to help reduce the symptoms of emotional overwhelm many women feel.
While medication is not suitable for everyone, it can play a key role in treating certain mental health issues. Discovering the right medication can reduce or even eliminate symptoms and greatly improve daily life. It’s vital to understand that the effectiveness of medication varies from person to person and it’s critically important to work with a professional with a keen understanding of the patient’s medical history so they can customize a medication plan. After medication is determined, our focus shifts to monitoring the medication’s safety, reconciling other medications, and ensuring the medication is producing the desired effect. It’s important to not only understand when medications should be taken and in what dosage, but also to understand the medication’s purpose, safety, side effects, effectiveness, as well as any potential risks from mixing medications with certain foods or other supplements. We can even provide medication management to our patients in Arkansas and Minnesota via telehealth for convenience.
At Healing Tree, we believe in a holistic approach to mental health and work hard to ensure all our patients receive the highest quality care. We specialize in helping women find calm amongst the chaos so that they learn to feel more in control of their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Our mission is to provide healing, expertise, and knowledge so that women gain the inner resources they need to live healthier and happier lives.
Therapy Friends Counseling and Consulting Fort Smith, Arkansas 479.461.7767 Find them on Facebook
Therapy Friends Counseling and Consulting, led by Crystal Lougin, MS, LPC, caters to those with a busy work-schoolfamily-life schedule, seeing clients on evenings & weekends, by appointment only. As a licensed professional counselor, Crystal began providing therapy services after-hours and on the weekends, due to the added stress the pandemic has put on residents of western Arkansas. She has been licensed in the state since 2003, and in 2021, Crystal was appointed to the Arkansas Governor’s Board of Examiners in Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy. She is passionate about providing educational opportunities on recognizing and destigmatizing mental health. Crystal also sits on several boards and volunteers at a variety of local agencies and nonprofits. She also works full time at Baptist Health-Fort Smith, where she serves as the Director of Behavioral Health.
EMERGENCY after-hours CRISIS LINE: 1.800.542.1031 Non-Emergency Warm Line: 479.452.6655 (non-emergent) wacgc.org
The Guidance Center (formerly known as the Western Arkansas Counseling & Guidance Center) opened its doors 50 years ago in the River Valley as a nonprofit community behavioral health clinic. This organization serves communities in Crawford, Franklin, Logan, Polk, Sebastian, and Scott counties in Arkansas. Their unique mission is to provide a comprehensive network of quality behavioral healthcare services that are consumer sensitive, outcomes oriented, and cost effective. The range of their services treats mental, emotional, behavioral and substance abuse disorders.
Outpatient Counseling is available for children, teens, and adults at all seven clinic locations across the six counties and via telehealth. Services include but are not limited to general stress/anxiety, depression, family therapy, addiction services, chronic behavioral health issues, crisis services, and psychological testing. All services provided are designed to enhance quality of life, reduce symptoms, improve functioning, and support paths of integration into the community. All clients of The Guidance Center have access to Genoa Healthcare Pharmacy located at our primary service center in Fort Smith.
Children and youth get help through several services. Western Arkansas Therapeutic Children’s Homes (WATCH) offers temporary substitute family care for children when their own families are unable or unwilling to care for them. The Vaping/Smoking Cessation program is specifically tailored for the adolescent population grades 7th-12th. Its mission is to inform, educate, and bring awareness to the harmful effects of smoking and vaping; and to promote a healthier lifestyle. Adult services also include the 5 West Crisis Stabilization Unit in Fort Smith. This is a 16-bed unit serving individuals 18 and older experiencing a psychiatric and/or substance abuserelated crisis. With their new Here2Help service, a Mobile Crisis Team is available Monday-Friday 7:00 am to 11:00 pm throughout Sebastian County to help stabilize behavioral distress. The Drug Alcohol Safety Education Program (DASEP) is a mandatory court-ordered education program for adults and adolescents who have received DUI, DWI, and/or minor in possession violations.
In March of 2021, The Guidance Center’s Primary Care Clinic opened and began providing full service physical healthcare including the management of chronic and acute health conditions. They can treat urgent needs like colds, coughs, allergies, annual physicals, well-woman exams, diabetes management, and provide care for high blood pressure and cholesterol. The clinic has its own lab, so clients can have their blood drawn on-site. In their first year, the clinic served 563 clients.
Take note of the new 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). Reaching out can save lives. SAMHSA is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States.
We can help. We will help. Visit our new website to learn more, wacgc.org or call, 479-452-6650.
Read Chair Publishing, LLC 4300 Rogers Avenue, Suite 20-110 Fort Smith, AR 72903
