In their Own Words On Failures and Fulbright

BY KY PONTIOUS, INTERNATIONAL STUDIES, CLASS OF ‘19

ON ONE LEVEL, MY STORY IS SIMPLE. I was awarded a Fulbright grant to teach English in South Korea. My application passed two intensive reviews, one by Fulbright’s National Screening Committee (NSC) and another by the Fulbright Commission of my target country. I’m currently spending my first semester in a country that has fascinated me for years.

It’s a simple story of success that every Fulbright recipient can tell. But its simplicity belies many of the experiences that come with applying: The intricate essays, revision after revision, securing recommendations, and putting your entire life on hold for the 7-month decision timeline. For me, it also doesn’t represent my previous “failures.”

After being selected as a finalist, I was surprised to discover that my feelings about receiving the award were complex. I was both excited for the adventure ahead and wary of being officially presented to the world as a Fulbright recipient. The people around me were interested in my experience, but I felt almost ashamed mentioning that it was my third time applying. I wasn’t the seemingly effortless recipient like those who had inspired me – how satisfying that would have felt!

Instead, I kept applying even after I graduated from USF and began working as the Experiential Learning Assistant at the Judy Genshaft Honors College (JGHC). In this role, I grew professionally and personally, which was reflected in my following applications. After two disappointing decision letters, I almost didn’t apply a third time. It was only thanks to Lauren Chambers, the Fulbright Program Advisor for USF’s Office of National Scholars, that I rallied myself to hit submit one last time.

While working on my final application, my previous rejections forced me to evaluate myself from an outside perspective and consider how I could better represent my experiences with Korea and professional interest in continuing that involvement through Fulbright. I also came to accept that some aspects would always be out of my control: The factors that go into selecting recipients vary not only by country but also by the specific qualities the NSC and Fulbright Commissions prefer each year. Because of this ambiguity, after I didn’t receive the award the first time, it felt like Fulbright was unattainable for me. However, not being selected didn’t mean I wasn’t a good candidate or that I wouldn’t eventually succeed – it just wasn’t the story I had seen nor expected.

It’s odd to think that I almost didn’t throw my proverbial hat into the ring again, but I’m glad I did and that I had support from ONS and my recommenders. A seemingly simple story of success doesn’t represent the times I “failed,” but that’s OK. Time spent crafting each application made me better at articulating my skills and working at the JGHC gave me invaluable experiences that will continue to serve me moving forward. My winding path through those three applications was incredibly productive. “Failure” is a label I no longer attach to my Fulbright story.