The fall and the future

falls between the feeling of anxiety and that of a long-term smoker. I did manage to keep up with most of my school work and do some art but the anxiety of not being in school was hard. I genuinely enjoy learning and creating and it becomes a very different learning environment when you need to stay home, as I’m sure most of us know. As much as that all sucks I am very fortunate and grateful to have not ended up in the hospital or need an inhaler after, like my poor niece. As this cooler weather has crept in it has made me shift from just thinking about this year to now thinking about graduate school. A very big undertaking and lots of money and preparation, which is scary. I came to USM to have little to no debt so the thought of going to an actual, full-on art school to get a master’s in fine arts feels almost unreachable. I don’t want to drown in debt but after consideration, it feels worth it. On the, being an art teacher side of things, getting a master’s is a good plan, you make more money and develop your craft more. The part of me that is tired, truly just so tired, doesn’t want to do that to myself. Like I have so much life to live outside of school and I haven’t ever had a time where I wasn’t in school. Another fear is I’ll enjoy my time away from school so much that I won’t want to go back and get my master’s. I know I will get my master’s degree at some point, but I feel to my core that I will do it. So I’m going to make my portfolio, write my letters, probably cry at some point, and apply. I’ll decide later if I still want it, this is my future and I don’t have to make too many drastic decisions for now. Plus I still need to finish this year out strong or else graduate school won’t be an option at all next year.

So if you’re thinking of going to graduate school make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not for anyone else. And if you apply and get accepted that could be a good confidence boost either way. So no FOMO for me because I’m giving myself options, and you should too.