Bolder, Braver, Brighter

Watch Out for Your Blind Spot

An excerpt from Daniel Stewart’s recent book Bolder, Braver, Brighter, published by Trafalgar Square Books / HorseandRiderBooks.com

When limiting beliefs are removed, so are your limits.

Few things will stand between you and success more than you and your thoughts when those thoughts are defeating and doubtful. Negative thoughts are often called limiting beliefs because they limit how much you believe you can achieve or succeed. It’s not because you’re incapable of success, it’s simply because unintended (and unwelcome) thoughts might convince you otherwise. For example, there’s little chance you’ll ever be able to sit a horse’s trot if you continually tell yourself you can’t sit it. It’s not because you’re incapable of it, it’s because your belief has placed a self-imposed limit on what you can achieve. Tell yourself that you can sit that trot (and work hard to make it happen) and you’ll remove the limit that once stood between you and that trot. In other words, when you remove limiting beliefs, you remove your limits.

I can’t cook. I’m not good at math. I’m not a morning person.

I can’t sit his trot. I’m not as good as everyone else. I crumble under pressure.

Limiting beliefs are common and it’s possible you’ve even used a few already today. They’re the sneaky negative thoughts you don’t think you’re thinking, even though you’re thinking them! The good news is that becoming mindful of them is the key to stopping them. Sometimes, they’re just hiding in a kind of mental blind spot and need to be brought out into the light.

Blind-spot biases are a unique form of limiting belief, and lie just below the surface of your awareness (the negative thoughts you don’t think you’re thinking even though you’re thinking them). They’re called “blind-spot biases” because, like a car hidden in your blind spot, they pose a threat to you because you’re unaware of them. When a car leaves your blind spot, however, the threat it creates leaves also. Likewise, when negative thoughts leave your mental blind spot (because you become mindful of them), the threat they create also leaves. That’s the purpose of this chapter, to introduce you to the many different kinds of blindspot biases so you can remove them from your mental blind spot.

There are many different blind-spot biases. I’ll introduce you to a couple of the most common here. Don’t be surprised if some seem a bit familiar, you’ve probably used a few in the past. Remember, when you can become aware of these hidden negative tendencies (make them leave your mental blind spot) they’ll stop bothering you.

Telescoping Bias

The telescoping bias occurs when you view your defeats and disappointments, mistakes and mishaps, and fears and failures as if looking at them through a telescope (so they appear bigger than they actually are), but then view your strengths and successes as if looking at them through the wrong end of the telescope (so they appear smaller than they actually are). The telescoping bias magnifies your shortcomings and minimizes your strengths and successes. Remember, it’s important to be mindful of your shortcomings, but it’s also important to see them for their actual size. You can avoid the telescoping bias by teaching yourself to turn the telescope around. Magnify your strengths and successes, and minimize your disappointments and defeats!

Availability Bias

The availability bias (or heuristic) happens when you assign greater importance to events that are vivid (scary), recent, and easy to recall. Unfortunately, this can sometimes blur the line between reality and what just comes to mind first (what’s most available). It can also trick your brain into thinking there’s an increased likelihood of bad stuff happening again (even though it’s not true). For example, remember when you had a bad fall and couldn’t stop thinking it might happen again? That was your brain acting on information that was vivid (scary), recent, and easy to recall (even though falling again is no more likely to happen than it was before). You can avoid the availability bias by reminding yourself that thinking bad things might seem natural, but that the possibility of them happening again doesn’t increase just because they happened before.

Spotlight Bias

The spotlight bias happens when you overestimate the amount of time you think everyone is watching and noticing you. You just get so used to focusing on yourself that you assume everyone is also focusing on you (when, in fact, they’re busy focusing on their own thoughts and struggles). In other words, you feel like you’re under a spotlight. Unfortunately, the spotlight bias makes you self-conscious and anxious, which often causes you to avoid attempting difficult tasks because you’re afraid that something bad might happen (failure) and everyone will notice. You can avoid the spotlight bias by reminding yourself that you just might not be as interesting to other people as you are to yourself—and if they do notice you messing up, they probably don’t care about it nearly as much as you do!

Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias occurs when you form an opinion and then alter your thoughts and behaviors so you can make your opinion appear correct (thereby confirming your bias). For example, people who believe flying in airplanes is dangerous (even though studies disagree) often spend hours performing online searches of all the airplane crashes in history, and each time they read of another, they confirm their own bias a little more. Not surprisingly, these people rarely search the safety records of airlines, because that would contradict their bias. You can avoid confirmation bias by reminding yourself that it’s all right to be wrong sometimes. The next time you’re given the chance to try something new, remember that being right all the time isn’t worth making a wrong decision even one time!

True Story

Confirmation bias exists at the barn, too. A rider in a recent clinic entered my arena on a very forward and unmanageable horse. After observing the horse, I asked, “How long have you been trying to slow your horse?” to which she replied, “Four years!” So, I suggested she try something new. “Instead of slowing your horse,” I said, “Try calming your horse.” After all, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is a bit insane. I then instructed her to give her horse five calming aids: soften her hands, use a calming voice, relax her hips, use calming circles, and take her weight off his back (she was in a chair seat). To this, she simply replied, “It’ll never work,” to which I replied, “Never tell yourself what you can’t do until you at least try.”

Unconvinced it would work, she picked up the canter, but as soon as her horse sped up, she thought about it for a second, then abruptly threw her reins away and thrust herself forward, causing her horse to bolt and run away. After a few minutes of leaning back and yanking on her horse’s mouth, she came to me and said the five words I knew she’d say: “See, I told you so!”

MORAL OF THE STORY:

This rider had a belief that you can only slow horses by leaning back and pulling, and confirmed it by acting in a way that would ensure it happened. But here’s the sad part. When she confirmed her bias, she missed the opportunity to solve a problem that had plagued her and her horse for years. In the end, her desire to be right was stronger than her desire to improve the relationship with her horse.

COACH DANIEL STEWART has been part of the equestrian world for over 40 years, combining 25 years as an international coach and clinician with a degree in physical education to create an empowering and motivating series of books, clinics, workshops, webinars, and training camps. As the internationally acclaimed author of Ride Right; Pressure Proof Your Riding; Fit and Focused in 52; and Bolder, Braver, Brighter, Coach Stewart is widely considered one of the world’s leading experts on equestrian sport psychology, athletics, and performance.

He teaches clinics to thousands of riders each year and is the equestrian sport psychology expert to many equestrian associations. When not teaching his clinics he coaches four-day Equestrian Athlete Training Camps at colleges and athlete training centers around the country, teaches online webinars, and produces weekly equestrian sport psychology and fitness videos. When not on the road, Coach Stewart resides in Naples, Florida. www.PressureProofAcademy.com