Drinking and Covid

Written By: ANONYMOUS

Before the pandemic, I usually drank once or twice every two weeks. When COVID started, I began to drink constantly, everyday. I wake up and take a drink; I go to sleep after a long day of drinking. So much has been going on in my life since this pandemic: people close to me have died from COVID or contracted the virus. One moment in particular stands out: my 17-year-old niece called and told me she tested positive. I couldn't begin to handle this, so I drank and drank and drank. It felt as if as long as I had a drink I could deal with this situation. Being trapped in the house, not being able to hang out with friends, not being free in this world like I was before COVID--drinking made it possible to cope. Dealing with my sick father, who has a bad attitude, made me drink even more. Without a drink, I would not be able to deal with him.

So COVID drew me to drinking more than usual. Just the other day, I wondered to myself if I was becoming an alcoholic and what this means for me. I was asked to write this essay about using substances during COVID, and so I had a chance to talk to USU members about my essay. I realized a few things. First, society doesn't treat alcohol the same as we do other drugs. It is much more socially acceptable to drink during COVID then it is to use "harder drugs. " Also, society tells us to be ashamed of our substance use. But I realized that drinking during COVID doesn't make me a bad person, and that being hard on myself for drinking won't make me drink any less. I realized that whatever I needed to get through is okay, and I can think about whether more drinking in my future is helpful or not without all of the shame that society wants to put on drinking.