Inner Examination

Sam de Armas embraces being bipolar with her art

By Shawn Ryan

Sam de Armas started having bouts of deep depression followed by hypomanic episodes in high school.

“It would be wild, like reckless vibes or drinking and stuff like that,” she explains.

The diagnosis was bipolar II, which has the same wild emotional swings as bipolar I, but they’re tamped down and not as dangerously extreme. Still, bipolar is not something to shrug off, whatever the type.

Now on medication, there aren’t any more reckless detours, says de Armas, a University of Tennessee at Chattanooga senior planning to graduate in May with a bachelor’s degree in fine arts. There’s no drinking and, when the symptoms hit, she may experience insomnia. Bursts of energy still happen but lower in intensity and more controllable. Regular trips to the gym help reroute them. Facing bipolar disorder has a positive effect on de Armas, she says. It creates a pathway to an essential part of her life—her artwork, which incorporates bipolar disorder and her experiences with it. “I speak a lot about it in my art,” says de Armas, enthusiastically. Aspects of her work are so daring and personal, they caught the attention of ArtsBuild, the organization that promotes art in Chattanooga with grants, education initiatives and advocacy. ArtsBuild selected de Armas as one of five local artists to receive a Racial Equity Grants for Individual Artists (REGIA). The grant funding is for up to $10,000 per recipient, and the actual amount awarded is based on demonstrated need for materials to complete the proposed art project. De Armas is receiving $6,300, based on her request for a new laptop, virtual-reality (VR) headset and iPad—all of which she will use in completing her art.

REGIA supports Latino artists living and working in Hamilton County and focused on three categories: artist works, equipment and professional development. “National reports

done over the years have shown funding inequities in the nonprofit arts sector. REGIA was designed to provide more racially equitable grant funding in our community,” ArtsBuild officials say. De Armas is using the ArtsBuild grant to help her complete her senior thesis, which focuses on “derealization,” a symptom of bipolar disorder in which she feels like she’s the only real thing in a virtual reality world. “It’s kind of like I think I’m in a simulation, kind of like you believe everything around you is fake,” she says. “That’s why I really like virtual reality because I feel like it’s a forced version of simulation that I use for my practice.” Her thesis will place viewers in a virtual world that explores elements of being bipolar. ArtsBuild’s grant will help her buy the equipment needed for the project, including a VR headset. “I am going to create a virtual reality video de Armas’ work will be that will bring the viewer through four different stages,” she says. She’s intentionally vague about what each stage on view at the will encompass, preferring that viewers come to

Institute of the experience with fresh eyes. The first is one of general reality, she says. Contemporary Everything is as it should be. Stage two creates Art in the UTC Fine Arts a sense of deja vu; you’ve been here before but everything is a bit skewed and otherworldly. She describes stage three as “Disney World.” Center in May. “It’s the real world, but it’s just completely altered into this weird reality,” she explains. The fourth stage is a full dive into “something that’s just completely its own.” The completed work will be one of several senior thesis projects exhibited in the Institute of Contemporary Art in the UTC Fine Arts Center in May. Her future is nebulous for now. Maybe graduate school. Maybe a year off to decompress. Her ultimate goal is a career in virtual reality, however that plays out. “I want to do anything that I can within virtual reality,” she says. “I love technology. When I started, I knew really nothing about technology, and now I’m here trying to learn how to code and do modeling and stuff. So it’s pretty cool.”

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