Possible resolutions in an impossible year Emily Warwick

Possible resolutions in an impossible year

The bar may be low this year but that isn’t going to stop Emily Warwickfrom achieving some (slightly modified) New Year’s Resolutions.

Picture: Lucia Mai 2 020 HASN’T BEEN MY year. Then again, it hasn’t really been anyone’s year. I figure if Beyoncé is forced to stay inside, then chilling at home on a Friday night, in my pyjamas by 5:30, can’t be too bad. -

Plus, it’s probably the only time Beyoncé and I will have anything in common.

A self-confessed home-body, the thought of staying inside, cup of tea in hand, watching a movie I’ve seen 49 times before, seems like an ideal way to spend my weekend.

Years of working in hospitality have meant my weekends are usually spent serving the Monday-

Friday-ers as they kick back, relax and distastefully shout ‘TGIF’ to bar staff looking down the barrel at a weekend of close shifts.

But 2020 was going to be different. New Decade. New Me. New Year’s Resolution.

In an ironically cruel twist to my life, my New Year’s Resolution was, wait for it…. to go out more. Yes, that’s right, I was going to be that annoying ‘TGIF’ person, living my best weekend life.

I think it’s safe to say I won’t be achieving my original resolution anytime soon. So, in a bid to be productive in a year where unproductivity has undoubtedly ruled, I’ve decided to make some more…obtainable goals for the remainder of 2020.

While I sit back and reflect upon my new resolutions, I’m realising some will be easier to accomplish than others. I for one don’t see myself ever finishing the shampoo and conditioner simultaneously in my lifetime. But then again 2020 has been quite an impossible year, and in a year filled with impossibilities, anything is possible. ☑

1. Finish my shampoo and conditioner at the same time – I confess,this has been a goal of mine for many years, and to this day I am yet to achieve the impossible

2. Finish my yoga journey I started in week 1 of isolation – of which I did one YouTube tutorial, posted a photo and called it a day

3. Devise a successful means of eye communication while wearing a mask – with work making masks mandatory, I’ve really had to utilise the old eyebrow raise, eye roll, eye twitch, lazy eye, side eye, evil eye and crook eye

4. Learn how to raise one eyebrow – I feel like I won’t have reached my full potential until I can successfully raise one eyebrow, plus it will be a huge asset for the purposes mask-wearing communications

5. Start a new TV series, not watch one I’ve already seen 5 times – while the callto re-watch is ever so tempting, I should probably make the most of my Netflix subscription and broaden my horizons

6. Delete my 1372 unread emails – I somehow don’t think I will be needing the confirmation email for my Neopetsaccount from 2009

7. Remember all my passwords for the online shopping accounts I’ve created in the past 6 months – of which there are many, and multiple

8. Learn the entire rap of Eminem’s Lose Yourself – when clubs reopen I want to sweep the floorwith my flawless rendition, and if this doesn’t impress, my ability to raise one eyebrow sure will

9. Play a song, leave the room, continue to sing the song, re-enter the room singing at the same point the song is up to – simple, yet challenging, yet satisfying when achieved

10. Take time to appreciate the little things in life – like toilet paper, the true hero of isolation