NO MORE BLACKOUTS! Pragya Paneru

68 Blackouts!

CW: Sexual assault, violence

BY PRAGYA PANERU

You said, that filthy touch of your predator made you blackout for a while. I could relate to you. I had believed, being a fighter, you would act differently. I had assumed, being a woman warrior, you would battle him fiercely. I never knew predators’ approaches had similar impacts on victims You reminded me of my own paralysed position I was once in your shoes I thought my predator snatched away my purity With his unwanted touch and forced intimacies. For a while, I became vapour Only after, I regained my consciousness I realised I was right there, unadulterated and unshaken, Like a flame. My purity was spotless.

At that moment, I understood For generations, we were taught wrongly that we lose our value when penetrated. We lose our dignity when our body is violated But, now I know I am the value, not my body nor my affluence For the first time, I felt unburdened from my body. The same day, I owned my body.

That is when I declared that predators have no right to glare without my consent Even if I wear invisible tattoos of suppression and oppression I chose to disown them And decide not to be a statue when attacked. Then only I felt my claws and mighty limbs along with my curves And a voice that could tremble the world Like Kali, I felt, I could perform an annihilation dance to make their lives seem merely a chance.

Now, when those predators mock I snarl at them and make them choke. When violated, I gnaw them like my prey and slay them like I say. Beware, no more intimidation! No more botheration!