blend “Nothing beats Mom’s home cooked meals, except maybe my toilet. ”
Dying to be
THIN
from rolls to meatloaf, A meal that’s close to home
I want to know what love is: How to play the game
What greens to grow? Get to know your salad
EAT Shrink and be merry Improving fitness
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FEATURES
10 Dying to be thin By Jenny Deam
More grown women are
suffering from anorexia, bulimia, and other dangerous eating behaviors. Lets fix it. 1 blend
21 A FEW GOOD VIRUSES By Rachel Shil
In laboratories around the world, these miniscule hijackers are them selves being hijacked to treat some of humanity’s most feared diseases.
35 Find Your Style By Alisha Rentz
Easy steps to gorgeous results
41 Fresh Start By Sharon King
An inspiring story of a Mom who started her own business.
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CONTENTS
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20
Nine Secrets of Motivated People
Nothing beats Mom’s home cooked meals, except maybe Molly’s.
Learn what you can do to gain attri butes of a highly motivated person.
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He Made...She Made
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Successful Family
How successful is your family? Do you live up to the expectations?
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Get To Know Your Salad
Building a better salad starts with the salad’s foundation: the greens.
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Outdoor Living
A well-outfitted outdoor space caters to easy, breezy gatherings.
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Know-how
Planting tips for small gardens and
A Meal That’s Close to Home By Ginny Werkmeister
By Chantel Wright
Robert Irvine and Anne Burrell put their own twist on a family favorite: lasagna.
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Lighten Up
Whip up a low-fat artichoke dip for your holiday guests. Plus: Bake some healthful chips.
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I Want to Know What Love Is
Learn how to play the game.
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You, Improved
Reboot yourself and get ready for a date of a lifetime.
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By Josie Rainey
By Martha Beck
By Tina Light
By John Swenson
By Lori Jones
By Catherine Dunn
By Steve Kelton
By Samantha Limb
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A MEAL THAT’S CLOSE TO
HOME
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3 EASY
SIDES
Grilled Scallions Place a grill pan over high heat. Toss 3 bunches scallions with 2 tabelspoons olive oil in a bowl and season with salt and pepper. Brush the pan with oil. When the pan is almost smoking, add the scallions and grill until slightly charred, 2 minutes per side. Serve with lemon wedges.
Carrot- Mustard Slaw
“Nothing beats Mom’s home cooked meals, except maybe Molly’s. ” For most of her life, my mom, Enoth Bratten, made do with whatever was on hand. Yet she could transform the simplest ingredients into a delicious meal for our family of nine. She rarely used recipes, and many dishes came from the huge garden she cultivated when we lived in Oklahoma. During those years, my dad, Ulis, farmed but also worked in the aircraft industry to make ends meet. Mom stayed home and helped with the finances by raising chickens and turkeys, selling eggs and canning everything her garden produced. We kids helped her with gardening and cooking. By age 8, I was making brownies, cornbread, and biscuits. “A really good biscuit makes a slim meal more pleasing.” she would say. On Sunday’s, Mom often served Fried Chicken with pan Gravy, Garden Coleslaw, Creamed Potatoes & Peas, and Coconut Cream Angel Pie. For years, she made this
marvelous meal with antiquated tools and an old stove. My parents gave up the farm when I was 13 and mom became a beautician. Our lives changed again when we moved to southern California, where Mom cut hair for young starlets. I went to high school in East Los Angeles. When I married my husband, Marvin, we decided to return to the land and ended up on a Nebraska farm, where we raised three children. I ran a small greenhouse business and loved every minute because I am my mother’s daughter. I love gardening, canning and cooking as much as she did. I have many wonderful memories of my mom, filled with love...and mouth-watering meals. I hope you enjoy this one! BY GINNY WERKMEISTER
Soak a thinly sliced red onion in water for 15 minutes; drain. whisk 1 1/2 tablesspoons dijon mustard, 2 tablespoons while wine vinegar and 1 tablespoon capers. Whisk in 1/2 cup olive oil, and salt and pepper to taste. Toss with 1 pound shredded carrots, 2 sliced celery stalks, the onion slices and 1/4 cup chopped dill.
Baby Broccoli with Oyster Sauce Steam bunches baby broccoli until bright green and tender, 5 minutes. Drizzle with 1 teaspoon sesame oil. Whisk 2 tablespoons oyster sauce with a splash of water and lemon juice and serve with the broccoli for dipping.
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Bonding
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT
LOVE IS
These statements are the polar opposite of what most Americans see as loving commitment. But these are “meat loves salt” commitments, as necessary as they are unconventional. In a folktale that has been retold for centuries in many variations (one of which is Shakespeare’s King Lear), an elderly king asks his three daughters how much they love him. The two older sisters deliver flowery speeches of filial adoration, but the youngest says only “I love you as meat loves salt.” The king, insulted by this homely simile, banishes the youngest daughter and divides his kingdom between the older two, who promptly kick him out on his royal heinie. This folktale told has been told over and over for centuries. Each of the following five statements is the polar opposite of what most Americans see as loving commitment. But these are “meat loves salt” com-
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mitments, as necessary as they are unconventional. Only if you and your beloved can honestly say.
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. I can live without you, no problem. “I can’t live,” wails the singer, “if living is without you.” It sounds so tragically deep to say that losing your lover’s affections would make life unlivable—but have you ever been in a relationship with someone whose survival truly seemed to depend on your love? Someone who sat around waiting for you to make life bearable, who threatened to commit suicide if you ever broke up? Or have you found yourself on the grasping side of the equation, The emotion that fuels this kind of relationship isn’t
love; it’s desperation. It can feel romantic at first, but over time it invariably fails to meet either partner’s needs. If this is how you feel, don’t start dating. Start therapy. Counseling can teach you how to get your needs met by the only person responsible for them: you. The “I can’t live without you” syndrome ends when we learn to care for ourselves as tenderly and attentively as a good mother. At that point you can say “I can live without you” because it is an assurance that sets the stage for real love.
2.
My love for you will definitely change. Most human beings seem innately averse to change. Once we’ve established some measure of comfort or stability, we want to nail it in place so that there’s no possibility of loss. It’s understandable, then, that the promise “My love for you will never change” is a hot seller. Unfortunately, this is another promise that is more likely to scuttle a relationship than shore it up. The reason is that everything—and everyone—is constantly changing. We age, grow, learn, get sick, get well, gain weight, lose weight, find new interests, and drop old ones. And when two individuals are constantly in flux, their relationship must be fluid to survive. A love that is allowed to adapt to new circumstances is virtually indestructible. Like running water, changing love finds its way past obstacles. Freezing it in place makes it fragile, rigid, and all too likely to shatter.
3. You’re not everything I need. Humans are designed to live in groups, explore ideas, and constantly learn new skills. Trying to get all this input from one person is like trying to get a full range of vitamins by eating only ice cream. It amazes me how often my clients’ significant others feel threatened when the clients revive childhood passions or take up new hobbies. The healthiest response to such questions is “That’s right, our relationship isn’t enough to make me completely happy— and if I pretended it were, I’d stunt my soul and poison my love for you. Ever thought about what you’d like to do on your own?” Sacrificing all our individual needs doesn’t
strengthen a relationship. Mutually supporting each other’s personal growth does. It’s so important for a person to have hobbies and talents of their own so they can develop and become strong for themselves. Then when they marry they will be stable and then as a couple they can be strengthened from each others needs and wants.
4. I won’t always hold you close. There’s a thin line between a romantic statement like “I love you so much, I want to share my life with you until death do us part” and the lunatic-fringe anthem “I love you so much that if you try to leave me, I’ll kill you.” The way you can tell real love from spider love is simple: Possessiveness and exploitation involve controlling the loved one, whereas true love is based on setting the beloved free to make his or her own choices. How you use the word make is also a tip-off. When you hear yourself saying. Getting out of this sticky situation is simple: Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Then communicate your real feelings, needs, and desires to your partner, without trying to force the reaction you want.
5. You and I aren’t one. Perhaps you are neither a spider nor a fly but a chameleon who morphs to match the one you love. Or you may date chameleons, choosing partners who conform to your personality. Either way, you’re not in a healthy relationship. In fact, you’re not in a relationship at all. I used to tune in so acutely to my loved ones’ wants and needs that I literally didn’t know my own. Then—once burned, twice shy—I went briefly to the opposite extreme. Follow your heart in a direction your partner wouldn’t go. Dare to explore your differences. Agree to disagree. If you’re accustomed to disappearing, this will allow you to see that you can be loved as you really are. If you tend to dominate, you’ll find out how interesting it is to love an actual person rather than a human mirror. BY MARTHA BECK
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GET TO KNOW YOUR SALAD Building a better salad starts with the salad’s foundation: the greens. Greens are low in calories and deliver high doses of vitamins. The darker the leaves are, the more vitamins and minerals they have. Lets learn what to grow.
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GREENS TO GROW Greens offer a variety of textures, flavors, and even spices to your salad bowl. Here’s a quick list of our favorites.
Arugula this type of leaf posesses a somewhat bossy flavor reminiscent of pepper and mustard.
Chard this crinkly nutritional powerhouse is pungent and earthy, like spinach.
Nothing sounds healthier than a salad, right? It may be, but not if you add the wrong ingredients. For example, a classic Cobb salad with chopped bacon, egg, blue cheese, avocado, and creamy dressing, or a standard restaurant chef ’s salad loaded with Swiss cheese, roast beef, eggs, and dressing can cost you more than 1,000 calories and 80 grams of fat! For some people, that’s more than half their day’s worth of calories (and all their fat). That said, don’t give up on salads — they can be a filling, low-cal option and a great way to satisfy your daily vegetable requirements. Just follow my guidelines for making the perfect healthy salad — and you’ll never have to worry again. Building a better salad starts with the salad’s foundation: the greens. Greens are low in calories and deliver high doses of vitamins. The darker the leaves are, the more vitamins and minerals they have. Try mixing a cup of spinach with a cup of romaine or have two cups of a spring mix to help sneak some more vitamins and minerals into your diet. When choosing your vegetables, make your salad as colorful as possible. Each color (green, red, yellow, orange, purple) represents a different assortment of beneficial nutrients. Also, raw veggies are low in calories, so feel free to load up on them.
Watch your portion sizes with your proteins and your legumes. Legumes, while full of fiber, are also caloric. Stick with lean proteins (chicken, ham, turkey, or fish) and try to get them as close to their natural state as possible for the greatest nutritional value. (For instance: a half cup of grilled chicken has only 61 calories while a half cup of fried chicken has a shocking 194 calories.) Consider your dairy items, nuts, seeds, and other salad toppers very carefully. Aim for low fat cheese and try to have it be shredded-that way you’re getting a greater volume out of a single portion instead of having it in chunks. Don’t get too carried away with nuts and seeds. While adding protein and healthy fats to your salad, a little goes a long way. Many times a healthy salad turns into a notso-healthy one because of the salad dressing. People often tend to use too much, so stick with the recommended service size of two tablespoons. Watch out for low-fat dressings-they still may be high in calories and have more fat grams that you might think. Have your dressing served on the side so you have control over how much is actually in your salad.
BY CATHERINE DUNN
GET TO KNOW YOUR HERBS In addition to greens and vegetables, fresh-grown herbs add another layer of flavor to a salad and can turn your basic salad into something spectacular.
Watercress these small, crisp leaves are slightly bitter, with a peppery snap.
Italian parsley this beauty is more flavorful than its curly cousin and adds more oomph to everything.
Basil this mint family herb is pungent, with a flavor between licorice and cloves.
Oregano this herb is delcious but can be bossy. Use it sparingly in salads with olives and peppers.
Lemon Thyme these tiny leaves are minty in taste and have a strong lemony aroma.
Spinach these iron-packed leaves have a pleasantly bitter edge.
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EAT, SHRINK AND BE MERRY Obesity is on the rise in America. The percentage of obese people in each state is located on the map. Let’s help improve fitness in America. Moderate exercise will help you lead a longer, happier, and healthier life.
washington
25%
California Oregon Idaho Montana Wyoming Utah
20%
1,440 Minutes in a Day Use at least 30 of them for exercise to prevent disease.
Alaska
25%29%
Nevada Arizona New Mexico Texas 11 blend
North Dakota South Dakota Nebraska Kansas Minnesota Iowa
Colorado
Wisconsin Illinois Michigan Indiana Ohio
Pennsylvania New Jersey Maryland Delaware Washington DC
New York
25%-29%
27%
Maine
20% 24%
15% >30%
-29%
Virginia
Oklahoma Alabama MIssouri Tennessee Arkansas Kentucky Louisiana Mississippi
The Bottom Line is
25% Florida
Inactivity!
Physical activity is an essential component to a healthy lifestyle. Nowhere is this fact truer, than in the case of individuals over the age of 65. Older Americans are at higher risk for many health problems that being active can help prevent. Regular physical activity has been linked to a lower risk of coronary heart disease, colon cancer, diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure, and obesity. Despite these obvious health benefits, current numbers suggest older American’s aren’t getting enough.
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Dying to be
TH N A scary rise in adult eating disorders. More grown women are suffering from anorexia, bulimia, and other dangerous eating behaviors. By Jenny Deam 13 blend
Usually she just had a cup or two of plain pasta. Sometimes, as a treat, a diet soda. But whatever she ate or drank, Susan* kept it to around 500 calories a day. A year passed, and anytime she tried to eat more, her stomach would clench until she vomited. Her skin turned blotchy, her eyes became sunken, her hair started falling out. Yet, she felt numb. Susan had overcome a turbulent upbringing, married a great guy, and set up house in a small, idyllic Pacific Northwest town. Life was good...until two years ago, when her out-of-control, alcoholic father ended up in the hospital. Once again, his crises cast a dark shadow on her life, and Susan’s old emotional demons returned. Her insides twisted every time the phone rang— would it be the doctor? the police?—and little by little, the constant drama of dealing with her dad squelched her normally healthy appetite. By June 2011, the 5’4” Susan had lost over 40 pounds and weighed in at less than 100. She found excuses not to join her family at the dinner table, focusing instead on privately planning out every morsel that went into her mouth. Her husband grew frantic until, finally, Susan went to a doctor, who was at a loss. He ruled out a series of gastrointestinal conditions, then said, “And you’re too old for anorexia.” Susan was 43. Eating disorders leaped into the national conscience in the 1970s and ‘80s, when the number of diagnosed cases exploded. The patients were adolescent girls, many of whom became anorexic or bulimic as a means of controlling their bodies—and, by extension, their lives—as they made their way through puberty. So many girls fell victim that eating disorders were branded a teenage disease. (And experts continue to see a troubling number of cases among teen girls, says Ovidio Bermudez, M.D., board member of the National Eating Disorders Association.) Yet lately doctors have noticed a disturbing spike among a different group: women in their late twenties, thirties, and forties. At the Renfrew Center’s 11 treatment locations, the number of patients over age 35 has skyrocketed 42 percent in the past decade. Likewise,
a couple of years ago at the Eating Recovery Center in Denver, an estimated 10 percent of patients were over age 25; today, a whopping 46 percent are over 30. And when it opened in 2003, the University of North Carolina’s
Susan went back home, where she lived in fear and confusion, her health rapidly deteriorating. Eating Disorders Program was designed for adolescents—now half of its patients are over 30 years old. Just like their two younger counterparts, adult eating disorders delivers a mind-body punch that kills more people than any other mental illness. Patients of all ages can suffer impaired brain function, infertility, dental decay, or even kidney failure or cardiac arrest. But while the teen and adult diseases share physical symptoms, and both can be tied to deep psychological roots, their catalysts are quite different, says psychotherapist Jessica LeRoy, of the Center for the Psychology of Women in Los Angeles. “As women get older and their lives evolve, so do their stressors and triggers,” she says. These can nudge the door open for an eating disorder. But research on the adult-onset versions is lacking—and without sufficient tools and awareness, women like Susan are being misdiagnosed. When her physician failed to pinpoint a cause, Susan and her husband sought several more opinions about her ever-shrinking size. The other doctors also ignored the possibility of an eating disorder, though one did suggest she seek psychiatric care. Susan went back home, where she lived in fear and confusion, her health rapidly deteriorating. Finally, a friend whose teenage daughter was anorexic recognized her symptoms and urged the family to consult an eating disorder specialist. After two years of starving herself, Susan checked into a clinic, where she needed to be hooked up to a feeding tube to survive. For decades, the eating disorder lexicon had two main entries: anorexia and bulimia. But modern research reveals that these fall woefully short of encompassing the many facets
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HEALTHY CALORIES Not every calorie is created equal. Sugar isn’t always a bad thing as long as you’re choosing good sugars.
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of disordered eating. In the early ‘90s, the American Psychiatric Association introduced a new diagnostic category: eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNOS). A catch-all label that includes dozens of subdiagnoses, EDNOS applies to patients who don’t meet the exact criteria for anorexia or bulimia but still have very troubled relationships with food or distorted body images. Today, EDNOS diagnoses significantly outnumber anorexia and bulimia cases. “The atypical has become the typical,” says Ovidio Bermudez, M.D. (Learn more about atypical eating disorders.) On any given day, nearly 40 percent of American women are on a diet. The weight-worry gun is loaded early: By the time they reach age 10, 80 percent of girls fret that they’re fat. Their main “thinspiration,” according to experts: the ultra-slim starlets glorified in popular culture. It seems unlikely, though, that women
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who make it into adulthood with healthy eating habits would suddenly become swayed by such images. “Grown women used to be allowed to have curves,” says LeRoy. “As they got older, their bodies were supposed to change, especially after having kids.” But times have changed. The emergence of the MILF meme has spawned a novel form of pressure for an older age-group. And though LeRoy point outs that appearing svelte post-pregnancy isn’t a bad thing, “the problem is when mothers try to turn back the clock and look like they’re 18 by starving themselves.” Of course, celeb scapegoats are not the only cultural influence at play. Ironically, a growing national impetus on super-healthy living might be fueling some adult eating disorders, says Emmett Bishop, M.D., director of adult services at the Eating Recovery Center in Denver. While the message itself (smart food choices, reduced portion sizes, ample exer-
cise) is justified—and necessary in fighting America’s obesity epidemic—”some women who are prone to eating disorders might take that message and run too far with it,” says Bishop, using it to validate food restriction or as an excuse not to eat at all. Particularly at risk are women with extreme personalities (i.e., those who lean toward allor-nothing behavior), says eating disorder nutritionist Sondra Kronberg, R.D., director of the Eating Disorder Treatment Collaborative in New York. “When a woman like this hears that red meat has a higher fat content, she might really hear ‘All meat is bad and loaded with fat; I can’t eat it,’ “ she explains. And cutting out entire food groups can snowball into a full-fledged disorder. Contributing to these catalysts is the growing fervor over food sensitivities and allergies, says Kronberg. What starts out as necessary restriction—say, nixing wheat due to a gluten
allergy—could ignite larger restrictive-eating behavior, leading to a seriously dialed-down diet that excludes critical nutrients. But experts also note that adult eating disorders aren’t all driven by the need to look young or eat extra healthfully. Restriction or purging can also be outward manifestations of much deeper emotional turmoil, says Cheryl Kerrigan, a recovered adult anorexic and author of Telling ED No! “For some women, it’s not about the food,” she says. “It’s about the feelings.” Katy was 26 the first time she stuck a finger down her throat. A Detroit native, she’d grown up happy and with healthy eating habits. But as she climbed the proverbial ladder at her public relations firm, her stress level also rose (frustratingly, her salary stayed on the bottom rung). One day, after dinner with her husband, Katy slipped into the bathroom. “It was like I had pressure inside me that I needed to release,” she says. “Afterward, I felt much better.” She flushed the toilet and went downstairs to watch TV. Before long, Katy was purging up to eight times a day. At work, she’d vomit, wash up, and return to her desk without anyone noticing. “I was like a closet smoker,” she says. Unlike many bulimia patients, Katy wasn’t trying to erase calories or shed dress sizes; she rarely ever binged and throughout her sickness she remained a size 14. Rather, she came to feel that throwing up was evidence that she ran her own life. The desire for control is common among adult eating disorder patients, says Kronberg. Women are loaded with more responsibilities, such as paying the mortgage or caring for aging parents. They’re also navigating big life transitions—career changes, marriage, pregnancies, divorce—that can leave even a steady person feeling off-kilter. “As early as age 30, many women hit a point at which they feel there are certain things they should have accomplished,” says Kronberg. “They evaluate their lives, and if they see a void, they look for something that will make them feel good.” In essence, a perceived lack of success can morph into a feeling of failure and become an eating disorder catalyst. But emerging research shows that yet another factor could turn an innocent
Eating Disorders Affect Your Whole Body Brain and Nerves Can’t think right, fear of gaining weight, sad, moody, irritable, bad memory, fainting, changes in brain chemistry
Hair Hair thins and gets brittle
Heart Low blood pressure, slow heart rate, fluttering of the heart, heart failure
Blood Anemia and other blood problems
Muscles, Joins, and Bones Weak muscles, swollen joints, bone loss, fractures, osteoporosis
Kidneys Kidney stones, kidney failure
Body Fluids Low potassium, magnesium, and sodium
Intestines constipation, bloating
Hormones Periods stop, problems growing,, trouble getting pregnant
Skin Bruise easily, dry skin, growth of fine hair all over body, get cold easily, yellow skin, nails get brittle
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“The encouraging news is that adult women with late-onset eating disorders often have an easier time healing than adolescents do.” desire for self-improvement into an unstoppable compulsion. If two women with the same background have similar careers and diets, why might just one develop an eating disorder? Scientists now believe that some people carry an inherited vulnerability and that the illness can run in families. The developing picture is complex: One specific gene does not spawn the disease. Inherited eating issues are likely due to a combination of genetic factors, ones that may skip a generation, lie dormant for decades, or never become active at all, says Sari Shepphird, Ph.D., author of 100 Questions and Answers About Anorexia Nervosa. What experts do know is that “something has to come in from the outside to turn the eating disorder on,” says psychologist and genetic researcher Craig Johnson, Ph.D., former president of the National Eating Disorders Association. Dieting and exercise are often the initial switches. Whenever any woman does either, she’s actually changing her brain’s neurochemistry. (For most people, this is necessary to create new healthy habits.) To wit, studies show that women with anorexia or bulimia have abnormal levels of several neurotransmitters, chemicals that affect anxiety and appetite. It’s possible that something deep in their DNA was triggered to mess with the stuff. Currently, there’s no genetic test for an eating disorder, but just because your mom or sister struggles with food doesn’t mean you’re doomed to follow suit. Instead, women with a family history should be cautious about throwing themselves into hard-core diets or workout regimens, especially if they also have anorexia-related behavioral traits such as perfectionism or anxiety, or bulimia-related
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traits like impulsivity and restlessness. The encouraging news is that adult women with late-onset eating disorders often have an easier time healing than adolescents do. About 50 percent of patients will fully recover, says Shepphird, likely because many women over 30 have the maturity needed to recognize that they need help. Most seek treatment because they want to get better—as opposed to teens, who are usually pushed into therapy by their parents or doctors, says Johnson. (Take Katy’s case: She knew that purging was dangerous. After tearfully confessing to her husband, she entered counseling.) In the past, however, older women have felt out of place in treatment programs geared toward teenagers, says Laurie Glass, a recovered adult anorexic and the author of Journey to Freedom from Eating Disorders. Glass fell ill in 2003 when she was 32 but resisted entering a recovery center because of her age. “The guilt and the shame were overwhelming. I thought, I’m an adult, I should know better,” she says. Instead, she sought out a dietitian for counseling. Of course, had she become sick in 2012, Glass would likely have found plenty of patients her age at eating disorder treatment
centers all around the country. As the larger medical community slowly becomes aware that eating issues don’t disappear with adolescence, grown women have a better chance of being properly diagnosed. Still, says Johnson, if you suspect you have a problem, seek out an eating disorder specialist. Now in intensive treatment, she’s learning that the best way to shrink her anxieties is to deal with her emotions and rebuild a strong, healthy body. or the majority of her life, 44-year-old Angela Lackey, a writer from Midland, Michigan, says she rarely fussed about her weight or worried about eating. She had a normal body image and, at 125 pounds, was healthy and fit. But shortly after being diagnosed with a thyroid illness that contributed to a sudden weight loss, she says friends began to notice her thinning figure. “Many people had complimented me on how ‘tiny’ and ‘good’ I looked,” she says. She didn’t know it then, but those comments would fuel unhealthy eating behaviors that would lead to full-fledged anorexia in a downward spiral that nearly cost Lackey her life. Advice from Survivors: How to Beat Anorexia Shannon Cutts, a recovering anorexic and
advocate for eating disorders awareness who founded the eating disorders mentoring community MentorCONNECT and wrote Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back, says the first step toward recovery for many women is what she calls finding a “key to life,” or something worth living for. “Recovering from an eating disorder is not going to be easy, and you need an extremely motivational goal to reach for to keep you going when you feel like giving up,” she says. “Examples could include wanting to have a child someday, wanting to be there for your children, wanting to help others who have eating disorders, wanting to be able to see the world and travel, wanting to overcome a hard challenge that has taken over your life, wanting to get married or save the relationships that are important to you.”
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