1988-89_v11,n19_UWSUN by Editor Imprint

construction 1

by Spinster Veerman

UW Sun staff

Jackie l2rinvir-w

at the

funeral:

nr cmirkinn?

For years, the controversy has raged on: And now, at long last, UW@un reveals the real truth behind who murdered John Fitzgerald Kennedy. What was her right hand doing during the assassination? She wasn’t petting her husband in his crticial moments of need. She ‘was blowing him ,up. Th& right 7 she pulled the trigger that blew his brains out. The fatal shot entered through the left temple, not the back of the head, as some of those nasty Washington boys would feign to believe. In all photo-documentation of the event, Jackie’s right hand can’t be -seen in those moments following the first shot, (This

workers.

one courtesy- of Lee Harvey Oswhy did Jack Ruby, Mafia Why did she do it? Jealousy is wald, entering at the back of - man, shoot the hapless, unofruled out - she’d spent four weeks on none other than ArisJohnny’s neck and out the front . fending Lee Harvey Oswald? Lee of his throat:) was just doing his job. Like the totle Onassis’ yacht before, her The grassy knoll theory, that . same way Oliver North was just cay ride in Dallas. You know, the someone stood with a gun .in guy with the fat daughter? [May doing his job. FOF God the presi-. wide open view and opened fire dent, for America, gLnd for mom she rest in peace!] This is the guy and never got qught, doesn’t and apple pie. Jackie married a calculatedly restick, It can only be hoped Amer- . spectable, two years after John% Oh where, oh where has Johnuntimely and unsightly demise? icans’ retain those basic powers hy’s brain gone? Drily a little bit of observance. Besides, Jackie’s was blown away. Ari, the great -Greek shipping head was- blocking John’s. So king, is a reputed majdr crime The le‘ftovers of his brain were boss. ’ like, unless she had a bulletstill there, until’ he got to Waproof bouffant, her head should Maybe Fidel was on that yacht shington. that is. (Sounds to us too. have blown up. more lik’e the general effect of a So why dti she do ij, you ask She remained very c&ni politician’s mind upon arriving Think blonde buxom throughout this whole event. in Gossipville.] Maggots don’t ’ again? bombshell. Think blondes have Calm? Jackie is Khadafy’s favorreact that fast. The Secret Serite role model at terrorist prep vice butchers do. more fun! Jackie was also pub. Backing this up is the fact that licly humiliated over lohn’s ramschool, pant headlining affair with Why was Jackie 0 never quesh&head should have jerked forMarilynMonroe, Marilyn was tioned? Because the Secret Serward, if he was hit in th+ back. In getting more press than Jackie! vice said she was a citizen above fact, it jerked toward Jackie, besuspicion. Because they wanted cause she was, hypothetically, jerking it over to get better aim. John dead too.

2 The UW Sun, Friday, December 2,1988

Presidentnickel and dime’n photocopiers t

contestants. The official, Rug Rat, is skimming. profits from on-campus photocopiers, and using the moriey to entertain nubile Miss Ratfest contestants in’his office. Links between Rat and the Bolognese university officials in Italy are suspected, where Rat spent unrecorded amounts of time in “conference,” but more likely in guerrilla hammer warfare training. Rat was.caught redhanded late

sonal health allowed for only one The numerous breakdov ns of shot of the hand with the the CC copier tipped Suntstaff hammer, before he ran for his off. After Rat breaksin, the coplife, Dollface is currently on exier breaks down. Considering his tended leave in Rangoon, Burma, high-tech security ‘breaching stating a healthier atmosphere ’ system, this is causing u&etand lenient bureau cracy as his sity intelligence some distress. Rat is also under suspicion for; reasons for going. On an separate occasion, UW skimming silv’er from >the Dana Sun caught Rat gleefully countPorter and Arts Library. ing the loot with a female friend, In their efforts’to combat this the suspected Miss Ratfest conthievery, the library cops testant. As part of the effort to pushedfor the installation of crack this case, editor Iked Brow more Venda-card copiers in the Dana -Porter Library. Efforts to ordered photographer apprehend the oily thief have Rehage immured in Rat’s office wall. Angel reports that after failed due to the “snake-like, counting the bounty, which tosubversive pattern of Rat’s talled $32,45, Rat called up cerraids,” says detective U.R. Victain uw tudors and Ratfest tim. i Victim is known for his contestants to come over for a deadly persistence in tracking few drinks. down student offenders of that

Asked how Rat could have library security, Victim replied, “I SUSpect Rat lurked about in the upper floors until closing, and then moved on down for the kill,” Victim added there may be a connection between Rat’s suspected presence and the recent outbreak of fanny pinching on the ninth and tenth floors. A clos& friend of Rat, who requested anonymity+ suggested Rat’s sleepwalking affliction may be key to solving this intriguing web of high finance, beautiful women and powerful men. “It’s not that Rat is a money grubbing power hungry depraved swindler - it’s just that at .night his sub-conscious takes , over,” the source stated. Rat has suffered from sleepwalking during most of his daily university

breached the intensive

Angel

by Merry Made-Soeasy uw Sun staff Is something up between Federation President Adam Chamberland and Imppint editor Mike Bound? We’re not sure, but rumour has it the two will be showing up together at the upcoming Feds Christmas party. “Mike can be niy date,” Chamberiand said -when questioned why the editor had not received an official invitation to the Meanwhile,

All hgll new Sdviet stereo technology 1’ I.

The

hands

foot: that’s

of Miss your

Ratfest (1) and Rug Rat busily counting their syueat, toil, and tabour they’re prdfiting from!

VPUA

Klurnp was leaving to work fbr OFS in January. She spent a day in the hospital this week after trying.to drown her sorrow and suffering alcohol poisoning. . Apparently their love affair has been a steamy one, “I’m not going to be able to sit down for a week,” she once said. And Scoops manager John Giau,.. (What the heck I can’t even pronounce it!) was found in bed with a giant cockroqch*

The UW Sun, Friday, December

Confederation

of Students’

present the student body at this beauty pageant, and her failure to show up is regarded as indiffe;e;e. to her vice-presidential Sin6 the’ incident, letters to the student newspaper have repeatedly demanded an apology and her resignation as VPUA. “As a woman, I am deeply offended by her. behaviour. She has no riiht to impose her views on us if they conflict with the responsibilities of her I office,” said Gina Slower, the driving force behind Sunday’s mot ion. Rowdiyella says she f,ailed to

.,,she boycotted the event because she did - not think she would win being rowdy and radical. Her competence and integrity as a representative of undergraduate UW students has been in question since she missed the Oktoberfest pageant on October 6. The VPUA is expected to re-

Rowdiyella problems

attend the pageant because she is ideologically opposed to beaut pageants. However, there hyas been speculation that she bo cotted the event because ’ $ihe di cr not think she would win the contest

Rowdiyella was also accused of attending the Halloween Park in pro. ,March on Queen’s test of utiderfunding. “If she wants to represent students, she’s going to have tq learn to be responsible,” sr&d one - disgruntled council member. “We’re in university now. When will she learn that being M adult means obeying the converitiohs in society?-H&w dare she question the government?” Rowdiyella’s close friend Lisa Heckle may also lose her position as External Affairs Cotimissioner due to her role in organizing the protest. Despite the accusations levelled at her, Rowdiyella has refused to resign. .I I don’t think there is any evidence that I failed to do my job,” she said. “lust because not everyone agrees with my political stands doesn’t mean I’m incompetent.” For his part, Slumberland was deemed to .be lacking in confidence - self-confidence, that is. He has not caused a public stir

dnce again

during his eight months in office, largely because he has never come out strongly on either side of an issue. He was also accused of being a nice guy. “How can you trust someone who hasn’t goofed?” asked Councillor John-boy Higherbred. ‘There’s no way anyo’ne can be so near-perfect. He’s just more underhanded than eve.

Councillors Higherbrbd, Roger Twodoor, and Paul Obladi-Obladah declared a military coup. Higherbred was responsible for the original motion which led to last week’s non-confidence motion against Busmichael. His motion is now seen as the genesis of the toppling of the Cons, Arts Councillor and general shit-disturber Tim Jackstoned, the’man responsible for the ac-

“How can you trust someone who hasn’t goofed?” ryone else.” True to his form, Slumberland has not yet decidhd whether to resign, “I’ve heard one side of the issue,” he told the Sun. “Now I’d like to hear from students who suppdrt me,, if there are any. I just haven’t been convinced -either way, so I tried to get the motion deferred so we could ask questions on a less formal basis.” In the wake of the crisis, Math

tual non-confidence motion against Busmichael, was not present at the meeting. He was found bound and gagged several hours later. . Rumours oi a math conspiracy to take over campus remain largely unsubstantiated; despite Obladi-Obladah’s declared plans to make the Cons subordinate , to MathSoc. Obladi-0bladah is currently Math&c treasurer.

and Slumb’erland now appearing nightly at Fred’s Mall. Rowdiyella will tell you her if you talk dirty. Slumberland is taking on all challenges for gentle games of Pat Man.

Stale gos-sip By Joe cord UW sun staff it’s been confirmed, The Smiths have broken up. Johnny Marr will be joining The Pretenders, while Morrissey will embark on a solo career,.. U2 have announced they will be making a film of their North American stadium tour, and will accompany

the film

release

with

a double-LP soundtrack ...RE.M. has left their longtime .label I.R.S. to sign with Warner Brothers. No word on their next album yet. Bruce Springsteen is rumoured to be having marital difficulties. Next week: special on the brand new album lf’n by Firehose.

Lord

of the

Flies?

mole tells all

Controversy rocks top officialsby Merry Made-&wary uw Sun ataff This could well be the worst two weeks in‘ the history of the university% Confederation of Students. Only last week, Con VPOF “It’s a” Shame Busmichael was shorn of his signing authority for two upcoming campus events. This week, council passed nonconfidence motions against President “Had’em” Slumberland and VP (University affairs) Trendy Rowdiyella, causing a crisis in student leadership, Rowdiyella was accused of

2,1988

No, Queen

of Coclitoaches. phoao by str

Ted Griesbach, 16, likes to watch nl make the world better. led does not weights, but he does other things...

of ways to and think pIay racquetball or lift

4 The UW Sun, Friday, December

Prez catches

2, 1988

Carpickle

. Gaming -

by Spimter UW Sun staff

“1 warAna be a bunny barmaidt” Campus doctors have been alerted to this latest whim of low-key President Chambermaid. Insiders speculate that Chambermaid’s rumoured affiliation with Betty Boobs has inspired a latent post-puberty drive to develop a .,, profile. UW secret police are currently looking for Carpickle and IL nelda, last seen climbing into a stretched white limo parked on King street. Rinelda was dressed in a revealing plush red velour brocade miniskirt with matching tank top, cowboy hat and highheel boots. Carpickle wore purple satin jeans an$ a coordinating blazer, Any information leading to their whereabouts will be doubly rewarded - by the police and the tacky-alert committee for a better dressed Waterlooo. Another source has revealed that Councillor Dim Jackson has been spotted at the gaming house, searching for cockroaches in the plush red velour brocade mipiskirt sported by Whinelda. Councillor John Perbert stood close by, motioning I .i: . awav.

According to a source, VicePresident (Overbearance and Fatuousness) Shame Carpickle has reportedly used the missing $10,000 in FEDS money’to set up a laundry service and after hours gaming house. Attem Chambermaid w>anta in on the deal, Our source overheard an argument between Carpickle and Chambermaid, Chambermaid threatened to expose Carpickle for what he really was, unless let in, “And I thought those telephone callers asking for godfather Shame were your godchildren!” Most of the $10,000, believed fo be overspent on the Homecoming weekend, was actually used to buy black panel trucks and hire beefy ex-Fed hall bouncers as drivers [if they could pass their driver’s license exam). Carpickle’s laundry service clients are unknown, but the Villages are under suspicion. The rest of the money-was used’ to buy plush red velour brocade carpeting and matching waitress uniforms for the women staff of the-1 gaming. house. .A

UGAAAAAU

le’s refusal ti, resign, “I know you’re using the Fed office! space for your after-hours gaming house! You resign, and you’ll lose your Fed office key!” “And you’ve hired Whiny I 9Whin ,,

,- America needs a Hero for<every age am .

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dent Senator Gerry Coffee. “We Metry Made-&easy . don’t want the bufeaucracy inSun at&f terfering with the running of this In an unprecedented move this place. They can. still sit in on week, Senate voted to adopt a meetings; aI1 we’re saying is that Committee report which would the shouldn’t have a right to severely- curtail the administrama E e decision8 they have to imtion’s role in the operation of the . 1 think there?8 a vested university. interest there; if you're going to Although Dean of Arts Rob be implementing the decision, of * Shores moved the report be cburge you’ll vote for the status tabled in order to give administration time to mount a coordi-- quo SO that you won’t have to do much work. ’ nated lobby effort, the majority The committee also. argued the of senators did not iv’ish to dela administration does not need to the report any longer. The a B engage in decision-making in ministration representation on order to fulfill their duties. senate was unable to sway the The Committee stated that advote in its favor, Administration ministrators were. hired to do representation account8 for 25 just that; administer and impleper cent of the Senate. ment deiisions and policies The Committee’s most signifimade by those for wham theunicant recommendation would versity was established in the eliminate administration represfirst place. entation on all governing bodies “The administration is there to of the university, including the serve the other parts of the uniSenate itself. Currently, adminvereity, Like this, they could easistratioo is represented by UW ily help pass motions which President Dbug Rong, by the would benefit their jobs, without vice-nresidents, faculty deans, the hiads of various colleges, the treasurer’ the librarian, and the registrar. uw

plement.

One rationale given by the committee is that administration ‘representatives are not elected, therefore they .should have no voice in making the decisions. Faculty and student representatives are elected to governing boards. “It’s about time this place was run democratically,” said stu-

U N I V ERS t T Y

Obituary

‘-Assistant news.edi.tor slain in accident Tragedy has struck the UW Sun office this week, with the death of assistant news editor, HarA Vermin, in’a bizarre hunting accident Pear the outskirts of Windsor. Vermin had been traveling with friends for a weekend of hunting and spin-the-bottle. Near dusk last Saturday evening, Vermin had ’ gone to “let the guiher go” in a nearby forest when four .303 .rounds ended her life in midgush. --Friends went searching for her after she had been absent for several ho&. They found Vermin’s bloody, day-glow, body in a dumpster close to where she was slain. After a formal investigation, police arrested hunter oha Ryan and charged him wit I hunting hamsters out of season. In his own defense, Ryan commented: “I swear to God that 1: thought she was a hamster. She was wearing one of those Da -Glow Green t-shirts and everyt x ing just squattin’ there and all like a ’ hamster I tell ya.” Ryan had taken up hamster hunting earlier this fall after purchasing the latest “DayGlow Abort ions” album. Harri Vermin, an aspiring actress before her death, was scheduled to play the part of Bridgette Neilson .opposite Eric _ Estrada in an up coming film on the life of Sylvster Stallone. -.-._--.. .-, _

respect for the learning atmosby Merry Made-Sosamy , phere at the institution,” said uw Sun staff Committee chair Professor 1. Leftcourt. ’ Thousands of cockroaches ‘We have yet to see evidence could shut down the campus that the administr&on’s role in within the next three weeks. ‘. decision-making-% of benefit to Last week, cockroaches were anyone, including the professpotted in the Campus Centre, sional development of adminisand Scoops had to be closed as a trators,” commented ES/IS ’ result. Exterminator8 were representative Steve Marksman. called in on Friday. The strongestargument for However, according to the exleaving the structure of the uniterminators, the cockroaches are versity’s governing bodies intact a n_ew breed immune to all knoyn chemicals. There is specwas Dean of Graduate Studies ulation they have (been brought Jim Greenthumb. Earlier this year, Greenthumb chaired a Rein by some of the shady characview Committee which recom, tera who spend nights in the CC. Instead of killing the co+ mended curtailing student involvement in the operation of roaches, the chemicals seem to hava increased their fertility by the Independent Studies Program. 2300 per cent. Custodial staff claim there 4The administration also claim have’ always been cockroaches if these skills are neglected, they will be unable to find jobs elsein the building, but the problem where, since participation‘ in gowas controlled, and few of the verning committee8 is essential insects reached adulthood. NOW ‘to finding further jobs in their, the bugs have become immune to chemical warfare. fields.

Consequently, iChe Wild Duck Cafe is scheduled to close for good this afternoon. But some are thankful for the decision. “Who says dogs are man’s best friend?” commented one student. “I think the cockroaches are doing us all a great favour. DO you kno.w how bad the food at . the Duck is? I’d rather eat cockroaches! It’s a good thing they’ve finally found a reason to shut the place down.” If the cockroaches’ rate of reproduction continues, The ViL lage dining rooms may be forced to shut down as of December 15. This could cause problems for students who have not completed their exams by then. The entire campus could close ,as early as December 22. Unfor, tunately, this would not benefit most students, as it is the find, day of exams. It is not yet known whether the problem will be under control before the start of the Winter term on January 4 1989.

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The

lJW%u~,

Friday,

December

2,4988

.“,:

or ConsD iracy?

-Coinc

by oha Wrb an d John

Zak-o-riah

UW Sun 8taff There are some things that can’t be explained ‘rationally,’ there are too many questions that beg answers answers that we must not be afraid to face, Contemporary events and recent pronouncementa of Gaders all point ‘to the coming End, The signs are there, we must be able to both read and act upon them. Foolish notions of ‘morality’ and squeamish urges to deny that which cannot be denied mustbe set aside, We, the righteous, must be both equipped and willing to do battle. The purpose of this feature is to reveal that which has been hidden and to prepare you for the time to come. For those willing to look, the plan of the Evil One becomes obvious very quickly. Of course many questions are left unanswered and the foolish mortal la,ws of libel prevent full disclosure at this time. However, to begin to see beneat!h the veneer you have but to ask ourself one question: Why is Rick Ast Yey so b~puIar? He has no talent nor charisma to explain his incredible chart-topping success. At first glance we may be tempted to conclude he’s just ,been ‘lucky.’ But any student of the Ancient Mysteries knows there is no such Fhing as ‘luck.’ No, a close examination of Ast@$s lyrics reveal a preoccupation with thb captur’e *and -conquest of @IIS. “I?Jever gonna givemyou up, never gqnna Itif ibd ‘~&“‘How ~BoQ~ ‘r tiould.tzrove ?T&&iz%~d~Berth-to be tog&b with you”? .Ok, yau. say, maybe he. .~UM,~ bact with the Lord of Da that’s what it looks liti closer examination 1 that Rick ABtley is tiimself. _.C ngt det$ RCA .(see 1 %c);‘j ppears .4s ei white;, 1 eathly sesses could wlp”-h?w sy accept that &&king the Astley,the oki,

of the innocent and youthful using mindless dance music. The hypnotic beat and pulsing lights of the dance hall incite people to move their bodies in a mindless dance of raise to He of the cloven foot. Remem & er when Pat Boone refused to endorse Live Aid because of Duran Dtiran’s involvement? He said their lyric “Dance into the fire...” was an obvious Satanic image. We all laughed at the time, but what does it mean? We who dance in an ‘unusual,’ ‘uncool or ‘vulgar’ fashion are trying to save these dupes from themselves. It’s probably too late, we are reviled as offensive yahoos - but we’ll see who laughs loudest when Gabriel blo&s that Final solo in life’s symphony. Baa1 is taking steps to recruit souls into the ranks of the Damned at younger and younger ages, He is trying to-get children to ‘get on the goat foot’ by arranging for the ascendancy of teen stars like Tiffany and Debbie Gibson, Through them he discourages drug use and pre-marital sex in order to ensure the maximum number of virgins and innocents are available when he needs , them’. -- * a. .A Satan On Campus --YJ+_ a_ The culture conspiracy has reared its : ..!<’.,I ugly head on campus several times but Aztec deity, Madekxipko on eaoh occasion Shame Carmichelob hasn’t been too far away, Remember the Simply’ led fiasco? I’m sure there.,are the thou;-an:;;*.;.&& .a&: &,-’ . “wh&, those who would like us to forget, but pired, Satan &all b~,~~i~H&~~~ hi& >: there’ll be no forgettirig when the Duke turns ‘his unholy flameprison, and shall go tiut.fo-&bstie. the’ I,. of Deception thrower on an unsuspecting world. nations which are in the four quarters of .j ; .: ’ ;I the e&h;.;“. ,$: J s domination of the mass-me_ e, but he does exert ~.diBm~ ‘tkes--tTntb I*.*?of the Chosen. Take, case of Charles &+been many at.

those who look, the Ena@&!$&@qg everv direction we look. nrti~&6& 1 . . . . . -Free ‘1-r preparing to sign tne - ade hgreement - another sjep toward One World Government. This ‘agreemel nt’ when it is signed will L be signed . * I in blood. .bore_ and more 01 nature’s laws are being tam ered with, demonic spo& and fcoa E s of Nature ate infiltrating bvery facet ‘of our society. Even this studentpublication has some very strange Bpecimens on staff (Weasel faced boy, Slavic sex slug). ‘I. all the evil that sl~ould come upon BabyIon; even .all these words that are written against Babylon.” -[Jeremiah ~51 MO). Of course the fact that George Bush won the recent USA election is another obvious . I warning. All that is good and decent i our country has been traded for thirt pieces of silver or been maligned an discredited. Gretzky traded i&o the bosom of Babylon - LA; Ben Johnson in disgrace. -The ordinary ciiizen scratches his head: are Peter Pocklington and Carl Lewis in league with the Devil? I think It’s obvious in Pocklington’s case, he is a known customer of psychics and occultista and he did once run for the leader-. rhip of the Conservatives, He was by Mulroney,

which

raisele

the

question: how was Brian Mulroney able :o defeat a known cohort of the Princ’e of ties? We can see the answer to why, it is >nly now that the Anti-Christ has come ’ among us: with his servants and tools in Blace as the heads of states and captains ,f industry, only thi’entertainmgnt sec:or and the mass media remain fo be quietly dominated.

How. much Scratch went down the tubes to bring those British blues barons to the PAC? $32,000 ? Three times two is SIX, and there’s three zeros: Three sixes, the unholy sum. Just a coincidence? We think not, And what about Carmichelob’s bid to be on the City Council. How many votes did he get? The official figures say 3485, let’s see, three plus four plus six plus five - isn’t that 181 Break 18 into three equal parts... 6681 Just what kind of secret agenda, did Carmichelob have up the sleeves of his sacrificial robes? In the long suppressed writings of Achmed Sabal M’Banga, a sensitive attuned to the activities of Yog-Sothot, it is foretold that the child of the goat will come to us with a blond pony-tail and army surplus pantaloons [“... and he shall bear hair bound by strings and clothed in raiments of an olive hue...“]. This, the rotting fruit of satan’s loins will be in a position where he can broadcast lies and falsehoods, Hmmm, who fits this prophecy better than Imprint’s own news editor John Mason? If someone who appears knowledgeable in the ways of man approaches you and asks to purchase your eternal soul, you’ll know we aren’t just whistling Dixie, And what about Anne Woodbuff, manager of the Campus Centre? In the sacred and long forgotten mystical texts of the revered ancient seer Nfguto Mordred, it is foretold “,.,and # shall come to.pass that in the seatsaf Iearn-ing, seekers of truth shall spend their hours bf rejuvenation in .d Great Hdll. But,. lo this Hall shall .be &en of iniq-

$n a3d the sidr @-he,lfq p divine I’ ‘crimes.’

#master.

beaten

-r

ordeE

q$P

. ‘i y

It was al&&%even

vears

Wendy ~&casionally displayed and by charlatans like Gerald01 Ah yes, Geraldo’; pronounced “heyraldo ,” brings to mind Jesus, pronounced “hey-Zeus” doesn’t it? Another double blind in a career filled with false trails, red herrings and an over weaning T obsession with the occult. ‘!Geraldo” has been a Satanic stooge all his life, right now his assignment is to provide a diversion, pretending to pursue the truth when he is really helping to bury it. Consider his real’name: Gerald Rivers - River Phoenix - Pho.enix, Arizona - Death Valley, Arizona. Say, didn’t the Manson family spend time in Death Valley? Take a look at the map for conclusive evidence about this mustachided mountebank.

Gerald Rivers I

Many people recognize that heavy metal contains satanic references and . uses diabolic imagery. The irony of this is that the Lord of the Flies could not care less about metal. After all, the’average metal head’s soul is of popr quality and’easily available. Satan knows this motley crew will be chained to his wheel of infamy come the final reckoning, anyway. Originally, heavy metal was a very successful but crude experiment in soul acquisition and corruption. These days, HM mainly serves as a blind to protect Satan’s secret agenda - the corruption

Rinella:

Feisty

fighter

of evil. photo by Bug

The UW Sun, Friday, December 2, 1988

7’

To perceive this agenda clearly, we L must delve into antiquity, to the days of yore, when Aztec princes flayed living flesh in attempt to appease the sun, and uity anh the .lair of the Beast’s acolyte.” a pile of one thousand eviscerated Hmmm, sound like an one we know? corpses was considered inadequate to Yes another aspect of t E e Ruler of Repdo true honor to the darkly god, Madentile’s plans for this campus was fulfilled taxlplto. This entity rules the ninth cirwhen he had an accountable CC mancJe of. Hell; he can only he appeased by ager replaced with a Dark Des ot. the wholesale sacrifice of scores of Since the dawn of time, Man K as held d human hearts. The sacrificial victim is annual “Harvest Festivals,” These strapped to a bloodied dias, the thorax pagan rites are still held today. Our fair is pulled open with the aid of an obsicampus is no slouch when it comes to dian knife, and his pulsating heart’ is paying the devil his due - the Miss ripped from his still breathing chest. Oktoberfest Pageant. Any idiot knows Now, ask yourself: what was Madonthese “beauty pageants” are but a thinly na’s most recent hit? “Open Your disguised ruse’ to find w-omen who are Heart”! Indged,’ Who is that Girl?. You willing to trade their self respect and can thank your Lucky Star that we’re integrity fbr some attention and cheap presenting this Material, Girl. When she applause. . proclaims to be Like A Virgin we know Thesa misguided mavens of Mephis. that we’re af The BorcferIine of the cultopheles are duped into becoming canmination of the Baron of Bile’s ultimate didates for the job of greeting the plati To ignore these facts is to take a Damned at the Gates of the Pit with Holiday from reality. Yes, isn’t she the their anguished screams. Windy Wreone who exerted her Papa Don’t Preach; nella and company/are only to be comwho sang that she .is Burning Up; and mended for the efforts which have put who told her evil master that she’s them in the Dark Lord’s bad books. But Crazy For You? If you cross this woman the same cannot be said forthose who I doubt you’ll Live To Tell! have criticized Wrenella in all those letWe’ve all seen their posters and notit,ers - are they just dupes or does the ‘ces for their debates, speakers and conspiracy go even deeper than we events, We’ve heard their arguments. feared?

from page 6

Continued

Whore of Babyloq?

A material

ghl

Y Now, you may be reading all this and scuffing your feet, grumbling, unconvinced, doubtful, pointing your finger 1 saying, “This is all good and well, but in the name of all that is Hofy, who is the whore 0 Babylon? Frien cl s, do not think we have neglected to consider this daunting question, The answer is, of course, Madonna, often portrayed by the forces ’ of evil as the Empress of Licence in an attempt to divert ettention from hertrue agenda. ,I

We’ve read their LIES. Yes, the Objectivists are alive and well st VW. But anyone Who takes the time to examine. their ideas or their origin will reaiti very Quickly that there’s mgre ta Llbjec’ tivfsm t&i&k unreesbning dfbkuxess and r&&twin stupi&ty* No, they a &em io hi 6ti&$eds; it’s but a fatx+ e’ that hides t,bir recut goals and objectives.. A closi &Mbg’6f’ the facts reweds n deeply buried link< +btween the Objcctivfotr end Jim Jonas Peopie’s Temple.. My ,frirqd ifSpp et-I :

The way of all flesh. Take

the

cities

see a pattern?

. ._ which Geraldo’s show is syndicated. ~. Join them up , ’

His Mtister’s Voice? RCA is one of the many “respedtable” members of the communications establishment which, upon closer inspection, stands revealed as sn organ of evil and a tool of the Diety of Darkness. Consider the time-honoured logo, a dog listening to His Martar’r Voice. Just what kind of a “dog” is that, anyway? Ten to brie the record on that old turntable is being played backwards. If we look at RCA backwards+ we get ACR - Anti-Christ Recordings? RCA is now affiliated with BMG: reversed+ it’s GMB - God Must Burn? Let’s look at who owns-RCA: GE - General Electric or Godless Evil? Remember Elvis Presley? Elvis was a fine, God fearirig young man when he was signed to Sun (Son?) records. He signed to RCA, and when they were fin-’ ished with him, he was a tired, fat old joke. The wages of sin are truly death.

, There are those who believe that Elvis. was a manifestation of the second coming, but this-time he succumbed to temp-. tation and was lured from Sun to RCA records. Ten yearssfter his death, he has resurfaced and is condemned to walk the earth like the wandering Jew, repairing TV’s in New lersey and ordering burgers in Kalatiazw. IThough not . meny adhere to this bizarre cult, it does ’ answer man questions, We could Pill a book, but let’s be content

with

a further

piece

of evidence

. that points to the duplicity of major record labels. Charles Mans&s “massacre” was supposed to have1 been partly caused by record companies rejecting his songs. Why? Was he literally too, Good for them? Or did they know that the Lord of Locusts had other plans for the %on of Man,” -

tend one of their get-togethers and they offer you some liquid refreshments for the love of God y-refuse! Ask yourself one further question: ay taxes? why don’t the Rockefellers Could it be linked to their a Pleged connection to the International Socialist What about the Gnostics, . ’ Conspiracy? the Nestorians, the Manichean heresies+ the Templars, the P-3 Masons L all ‘suppressed’ but their legacies remain in our central bank system. “Say, that sounds like Bavar-ion IIluminati talk,” you’re saying. Damn right, bub. Where Satan walks today, Adam Weishaupt’s unholy. crew ,put ,up’cendos tomorrow. Where can we turn when many of the . so-called ‘resistance’ are in fact agents of the will of Moloch? Take for instance+ Those-Who-Wear-Black: they’ who congregate at the front of Fed Hall, clinging to the shadows, only emerging to wave their arms to mouldy ‘80th’ music. They’d like you to think they’re alternative, hip and open-minded+ but they’ve sold themselves lock, stock and barrel * to the Patron of Poison, They’ve sold

, their very souls for spurious streetcred. We can only pity poor Jacquie Bruner, unwilling matriarch of these damned children. So, there they are - but a few .oE the facts. Though we’ve only scratched the surface, our case is both convincing and ultimately damnin&You have only ta break free of the bonds of logic and rationality for it all to make perfect sense, Shrug off the chains of fcommon sense’ and tne connections start tomqterlalize . Ignore everything you’ve learned be+ cause they are but lies that yop’ve been spoon fed since ,birth. Five thousand years of ‘civilization’ are about to bear . fruit. Do you dare face the End with opee eyes or will you remain one of the blind? If you choose Darkness, then crawl worm! If you choose light, watch the skies and be prepared to take up arms a’ a moment’s notice. My friend+ this is onl bat tie we can’t afford to lose - Eternity is at stake. .

- .

_ -

_ ,

”

. - _

_ .

)

8 Im,print, Friday, December 2, I 988

I’ CAMPUS

Who’s that man?

I Knciiv by A. CUP8110 UW Sun Staff

by Jesu Maysun

and Dollface Tomrun

Do you think balding men are Sexy? “.. .

Ja, het 4s ongelooflijk maar i vind een daNe man we1 “sexy..” Henrietta Vemnan The Dutch Days10 Spinqtsr lepihds -. it takes more us? the head. Vivian Tambeau hnshim House Mother

than

Hey any man is sexy! Marie Ssdivy Sun Remident

Jothing excites me more than eeling a man’s naked scalp! itacey, Lobin ‘aste-up Goddess

The shinier *the sweeter the sloggin’.

noggin

&lIlnie

P8lTdt

OCUI,

hWii;e

Tina Hardy, Carolr Applied Witchcraft

Raichert

the

He canno? lead a private life. Pictured here at a recent UW rugby game is ?he master contemplating the destruction of certain rebellious zombie armies, or perhaps simply looking for inspiration in the twisted ritual being played out before him. Only the chants of his minions couJd drown out the tension in the air as he presided over the game; they. whis ered “He is here, he is there, Pet us feel his creamy hair.” An examination of his history may now prove useful as the reference to “creapy hair” must be explained. The man is immortal, omniscient, omnipotent, and a fair hand at musical arrangement as shown by his stinging version of Roil Out The B~rrelI. ,-After creating. the universe through what scientists now call the “Big Chew” - he began to fill with music, He was I the world soon asked,to stop. Enraged, he remoired his glasses blinding all who dared to see the face of time, but a number of his children survived, taking,refuge behind their confused hooks. 4 step back is in order here to see hoti he did; indeed, create us all. -at most people believe to be his flaxen hair is, in reality, a glistening, golden child-bearing membrane, i hence the. reference to%reamy hair:” From the top of his head, where- the membrane’ splits, new-borne are discharged and drop into the puddle of steaming milky fluid-shimmering on the ground behind him, This creation. carries on ceaselessly night and day, but espe, cia-lly at night in the morgue when the unidentified bodies are being aired for freshness, The man is driven, Only the efforts of his ‘sublime majesty are hot, To .elaborate, his is that not Riven to others and me. His is his *and I_. great and-_ good. - - Oh great lord and king of life kiss me and

hurt me, bleed, caress and hold my staff - sorry. The man is driven. Only the efforts of his glowing head have saved us. He never stops to create, whether through his mind or with it, but that is not the end of his sad gaga. His fame spread, as would the fame of an.y so mighty as he. He brought his message of love, hope, and\beerhalls to places far and away, News of the addition of a concert and orchestra was greeted yvith shrieks of terror as facial skin cracked and peeled and revealed the bright fruit of our hidden hates and desires, coupled with passions and aversions that caused the master to hold and stroke us with balms and lotions, faster and faster, his hair shimmering as babies flew out in all directions spurting their liquid joy of life +again, sorry. She first noticed he was slipping after he appeared in concert with a fence - a dozen or so sticks. nailed together and attatched with another nail to his fqot, To make his acquaintance she masqueraded as an iliuminated Bavarian Princess, and with a lot of power she forced her way into his tight circle of admirers. She loved the-look in his eyes, the hate, the pain, the urg&cy to mass all 01 Hitler’s ar-

mies, They got along well, and in no time she began to subvert his evil message. This royal bride had but the desire to avenge her dead bretheren: she was one of those who had sought refuge So many eons ago and she too was Reports of another _ immortal. tour leaked along with the master so that not only was the entire universe put a risk, but a new album was in the offing. Various threats were made. No one can then argue with the following conclusions: the offspring of this immortal pair is not other than Ayn Rand, his intellectual hair: we are all children of the dark passions andlet thei please walk over our hairy regions in sharp and stomping boots~ oh master and warden of evil we beseech you toIntercede on our lower backs, . She turned her surviving kin into zombies, the living dead, and charged them with only one task: the complete overthrow of the dark light-haired forces. This is the reason why he was to be seen on the sideline, watching, always watching, maybe thinking of how to sing about the glories of rugby. From his yinions still arise “he is bin, he is wide, we all fit inside,” ,‘-I- ’

When Your Best Isn’t Quite Good Enough \

W.hat’s Inside Globe columnist

NEWS Carmichael Page I1

Defeat of -free trackwould have me*ant lower standard of living+

saga

Jackie dunnit Page 11

by loin i&&t

Davis Centre controversy Page 13

FEATURE Refugee laws violate rights Pages 22 - 23

t b

ARTS

Robertson Da vies and Timothy Findley j

Pages 25, 26,32I Forgotten Rebels and Nomind Page 27 I Jazz Night -page 26 Flip Viking fitm art page 29 Suf

viva1 Research - page 32 *

SPORTS V-ball Warriors undefeated in league action, take third-at Guelph Pages 33 - 34

York - UW hockey stalemate - page 33

Miison staff

Imprint spoke with leffrey Simpson, oni of Canada% l&ading analytical journalists, before he addressed Q UW audience in the Engineering Lecture Hal1 on Wednesday, November 23. He answered questions abqut the future of Canada under free trade and political patronage, the subject .of his recent boolc Spdle of Power. Imprint: Canada is now destined, through free t’rade, to enter the world of market forces. Is Canada mature and strong enough to compete in this atmosphere or are we going to be in over our depth? Simpson: ft has been called a leap of faith but the fair question to ask is, “What would have happened if we had done nothing?” Was inaction a viable alternative? You ask if we can swim? I don’t think we have any choice. The world is not going to stop for Canada: the internationalization of the world eco,nomy is not going to stop because Canada decided to reject this agreement, We . ha& a choice to join global trends or reject them and I believe the right choice was to join them because resisting them would have lead to a lower standard of living as the years went by.

by Lisr Dillon etaff

At a short general meeti=, of the Fede’ration of Students, ?:OO p.lh., November 24, Federation council members and students reviewed bthe 1987- 1988 Auditor’s Report and passed &mendments affect@ the Vice-Presidents and the Women’s Issues B’oard, M‘ike Carty from Price Waterhouse presented the 198811989 Auditor’deport which examined the balance .sheets bf the Federation of Students General Fund, Federation Hall, the Bomb&helter, the Campus Shop. the Used Book Store and the Record%ore, Students passed the, Auditor’s Report and a proved Price Waterhouse as’ t R e Feds auditor for 1988/89. Last year’s Vice Preside,nt, Operationd and Finknce, Andrew Abouchar, stated he is pleased with the Federation of Students 1987/ 1988 fina‘ncial posit ion, saying it represents a remarkable financial

40 7 traffic haunts b-ball Warriors Page 35

Imprint: During CTV election coverage an November 21, former Canadian ambassador to the UN Stephen Lewis cornmented that “this was the first Canadian election in which the out come was decid.ed by big business.” What do you think of thisconcept? Simpson: Firstly, Stephen Lewis doesn’t know his histOry to make a statement like that because it was constantly being argued by the Grits in John A. MacDonald’s days that he was forever buying elections because of the interests of the railroads, brewers, and manufacturers that were behind him. But as for the substance of the argument I don’t think it stands up to any conclusive analysis. Busi-ness involvement in this cam-’ paign was one of many factors in the outcome, but it was only one. Business did intervene, but I think they were actually very ineffective. Imprint: Is the media role in Canadian elections becoming too large? Simpson: The role of the media. in, this campaign was corn licated as it usually is. First of al P the media had been providing, over a couple of years, a fair bit of information about free trade - both pro and con, Yet after the leaders debate people

Continued

Membership -Imprint

!abs

says

kecovery

from

otl page IO

Jeffrey Simpsm, did the best job

from the Globe and Mail says the media it could distilling-Free Trade. photo by Pet&r statbpolla

told Fed finances O.K.

on the Bombshelter and Fed Hall are gone, the federal government would begin to assess profits made at these pubs. Carty replied that since these pubs are funded by the Federation of Students, they have a not-for-profit status even though they turn a profit; he does not think that federal assessment is likely.

Fred Killy, Federation Business Manager, commented that the Federation of Students enjoy a good relationship with the auditors at Price Waterhouse. Carty stated that Price Waterhouse enjoys working with the Federation of Students and will be glad to do it another year. Students passed amendments

- to By-Law I, mtikitig the vice+ presidents (operations and finance) and (university affairs] full-time employees for both the summer and fall terms, rather than either the summer or fall term. The Federation of Students, initiated this change to enable

Continued

0x1 page IO

a few

years ago when the Federation of Students undertook Fed Hall. Popular Federation services such as the Fed bus were the source of this financial recovery. The Feds lost money on the Simply Red concert, the Fed handbook and at the Used Book store and the Record Store, Councillor Tim Jackson asked once deficits IMr. Carty whether,

“We did the thing we usually do, and cali the PCO,” Hassebroek of the latest cockroach outbreak. PC0 sprayed operied at 900 am., an hour late. Scoops closed down ,e

says Wild Duck Cafe at 690 Wednesday, last Friday.

manager and Wild

Paul Duck

photo by PM Robhan

10 knprint,

Friday, December 2, 1988

NEWS

Tories had better exer’cisecaution * Continued

from page 9

cause free trade was a nightmare for television and the only way they could deal with the subject was by distilling free trade to its lowest common denominator and then by personifying it in a series of debates. So within the constraints of the medium, television did the best job it could. Imprint: Being that the Mulroney government is now experienced, how differently do you think they might &handle ap-’ pointments iti this new mandate? Simpson: Half way through Mulroney’s first mandate, the Tories took stock of the manner in which they were making appointments. Realizing the public antipathy toward them was par-

were asking, “Where were the media during the past two years?” “Why were we not informed about this issue?” Frankly I wrote so much about it that I got bored with the subject and started looking for other subject matter. People obviously had not been reading the papers during the last two years or had been reading other parts of the papers. Then once the election started the med!a really geared up and I believe the media did a very credible job. But television is where it is during ’ elect ions and television has a difficult time presenting a comDlex issue like free trade. Be-

Fed me.et i continuad

have experience in ^and btiowledge of the women.8 tiovemsnt. Vice-President, (university ‘Affairs) Wendy Rine~la supported this amendment, calling- the requirement unnecessary. ’ Speaking in favour of the motion, Jackson said he would, hate to Bee students not obtain aposition on the Women’s Issues Board because the didn’t have experience in and’ E ngvirledge of the movement, Jackson added that students with any views on any subject are eligible to work for the Feds. Kelly Cascone, chairperson, WomefiS Issues Board, objecting to the amendment,‘stated that the deletion of this requirement could lead to the hiring of an inditiidual who is unsympathetic to issues the Women’s Board stands for.’

frmn paga 8 .

the two vice-presidents to carry out, lans in the fall which were ma B e during the ~lummar, The winter term remains a-part-time term for both vice-presidents. Jackson, agreein with the motion, suggest&d ma 1 ing the vicepreeidents full-time employees during the wintsr’term as well. Chamberlain * replied. /that the Feds don’t want tosjump to three full-time terms for the vice-presidents so uitikly. “Right now, we feel t 1 at ttio terms are enough to get most projects started and finished.” said Chamberlain. Students passed the final motion to delete from By-Law 11 the requirement that the Chairperson of the Women’s 1ssues.Board

WINTER-

tially due to the way they were handling politicil appointments; they appointed more non-partistins and insured that their own re;isans were actually qualil

T6ey introduced and have passed a bill calling for the registration of lobbyists. Th’e bill is not perfect but it is progress. They introduced, after the Sinclair Stevens cqntroversy, a conflict of interest bill which while it was not passed durikg the last parliament, I suspect that it will in this one, From these actiona I am inclined to believe the Tories gathered from the public that the old way of dispensing favoritism will no longer be tolerated. I think they would be far more foolish than I think they are if they went back to that style of governing now just because they have a majority government. So es I think that they are going to t e a lot more careful. Imprint: What ‘kind of actual pressure does the Prime Minister come under in regard to favouring associates and friends? Simpson: Enormous pressure, eepeciaIly if the party has been out of power for sometime. Pressures from the rank and file of the party are fierce but there are two simple rules about political pressure. One is that demand for a favour always far out-exceeds the supply so in making an appointment the PM disappointi far more people than he satisfies. Secondly, the further along we go there exists less tolerance for political patronage in the society as a whole. So that while a number of years ago politicians could practice patronage with

1989

T I

5914650

- Wednesdays

JAN 4

JAN 11

RPM 132 Queen St. E., et Jawis FREE HOT BUFFET Frss Shuttle Bus from Union Station

. OTTAWA STONEY MONDAY’S 62 York St.

-7

CLUB IGUANA 53 Mmket at York

St.

MONTREAL Thundayr

Wednesdaya JAN 4 PEEL PUB 1106 DmMaisonireuve W. (at Psl$e) Note the new addreasl

-JAN11

’

THE ANNEX ‘lib46 Bishop St.: (above St. Catherines) All Nite Happy Hour for uel

SARNIA-

i_ I

JAN 5 ‘&,@K

ADAM’!$ BAR 71 d&t! kvli: !iiw. _ ’ 1 block south o+LRt (ex - God Sports Bar)

. JAN 12

COCONUT JOE’S :‘ 622 1 lth Ave. SW.

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Thundayr

JAN 4

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CAMPBELL ST. STN. 505 Campbell

CALHOON’S 348 Ontario Free Wings after 9 p.m.

JAN 5 JOE KOOLS 645 Richmond (north of Downtown)

. L!El

1 Wegoofed 1 on assault

1 1

Imprint wishes to apologize for a misleading statement in a Novetiber l&article about indecent exposure in the Dana Porter Arts Library. Mistakenly we reported that charges resulting from the three incidents of indecent expusure had been dropped UW Police has informed Im rint that charges have been p Paced and two individuals are presently before the courts. UW Police policy does not allow for the release of names in these cases, One person is charged in connection with two incidents while another person is chargedinconnecticrn with one case of indecent exposure on campus.

Coordinators and/or assistant coordinators needed fot the following. cities: -

230-7775 - Thundayr JAN 5 JAN 12

BJG BOP Qrieen 8 Sethurst WAT 10 = no cover after 10 p.m. 61 .BB Drinks

Simpson: f think that there is a building momentum in the country for the idea of Senate reform. The federal Liberal and Conservative parties are committed to an elected Senate and the provinces are thinking in that direction as yell. I just remind peo le when talking about this BU 1 ject that the Fathers of Confederation spent more time on the composition and powers of the Senate than any other subject. So I have no reason to believe that it will be any easier now.

’’

Presented by the Federation of Students

TORONTO

impunity and nobody reacted against it, now the advent of time has introduced more skepticism. Imprint: Canada has witnessed patronage under both P.C, and Liberal governments. Would the N.D.P. be able to put their self-righteous stance against patronage into practice if they were elected? Simpson: In an attempt to try and answer that question I looked quite carefully at the CCF governments in Saskachewan and the NDP governments in various western provinces. Of course I can’t predict the future but based on their past experience I think the following things would happen. First of all the relations between the NDP and the business community are weak and therefore that whole area which has provided bin the past fertile ground for political patronage would be largely eliminated. But secondly, the NDP wants to have activist government and therefore they would want to put in charge of as many boards, commissions and agencies as the can their own people who would introduce their broad philosophical views. So I think the N.D.P. would certainly make manj, political patronage appointments, but they would justify them because . of the fact they would be intro-ducing dras,tically different s’ocialistic policies. ’ Imprint: What is the future of the Senate in light of the leading role it played in stalling and obstructing legislation during the last parliament? Will Mulroney push for early Senate reform?

’

JAN 12 CASEY’S 276 Oundas {new Wellington)

INFO about further Watpubs Is airallable .at ihe first 2 Watpubs, from the numbers listed below or by calling Dave D’Silva at 88413620

TORONTO OTTAWA e’ MONTREAL . 4“,CALGARY, SAR:N IA .‘LOND,ON

If interested or have any suggestlons <for Watpubs, Please contact: Dave D’Silva at 884-3620 (St. Paul’s College) or 888-4042 (Fed Office CC 235) ’ . (P.S. Looks good on your resume)

NEWS I

Imprint,

Friday,

December

2, 1988

. ON THE VPOF Carmichael not, CAREER PATH outofthewoocbyet’ by Marie Sedivy Imprint staff The saga continues. Although a motion to remove Shane Carmichael as a signing authority of the Federation of Students was defeated Z-3-2 at the Board of Directors meeting last Thursday, a bylaw change could pave the way for Students’ Council to take similar action at its next meeting this SundAy. Board member Roger Tudor, who moved to revoke Carmichael’s signing authority, is still “not sure what happened” to defeat the motion. “I had spoken to people asking what they would or wouldn’t accept in a motion before the meeting,” he told Imprint, “I amended it to make it palatable to everyone, and then the vote disappeared on me. That one really annoyed me to no end.” During the meeting, Fed President Adam Chamberlain spoke against the motion. “The Board received specific instructions from council abaut the two events, and should be taking specific action only. If council wairts more to be done, they’ll have to say so,” he told Imprint, Chamberlain also argued the Board is too small a ‘body to make such decisions unless there is an emergency. Tudor says Chamberlain didn’t want to set a precedent and was afraid of doing something against student wishes.

However, Tudor emphasizes “the Board of Directors can override student council, but he (Chamberlain] doesn’t want to use that power.” Tudor said his interpretation of council’s non-confidence motion was that the councillors presently do not have faith in Carmichael to carry out his duties. He also emphasized that the non-confidence mot ion doesn’t do anything other than express disappointment that the money was spent unwisely. 1 He said that when the initial motion to remove his signing authority for Cultural Caravan and Winterfest was put forward last week, they thought the motiqn was effective. He says mosf councillors did not expect the non-confidence motion which was passed immediately thereafter. “We weren’t thinking,” Tudor replied when asked whether council could have removed Carmichael’s signing authority imi mediately after the nonconfidence motion, Tudor says discussions -continued after the meeting, and “We realized there was mo’re there than we thought.” He went on to say, “In consultation with ‘gtudents, it became apparent students were disappointed, aqd that people were expecting a .resignation.” “No one has come up to me and said they were disappointed with what council did,” said Tudor.

Board member Stephen Markan comments, “Shane was elected as VPOF, so you can’t play around with his powers too much without a referendum. Students s’hould have the final say.*’ In order for a referendum to take place, a petition bearing signatures of ten per cent of undergraduate students, both full-time and part-time, would have to be firesbnted to the Feds, Close to 2,500 signatures would be required. . At the meeting, the Board also passed by-law amendments adding the word “normally” to the clause which stipulates that the ?oard:s Chairperson sh$l be, the President, the Treaiu& be.the VPO‘F, atid the Secretary the VPUA. These changes passed 43-o.

According to Chamberlain, “There is no question the recent controversy prompted the changes.” However, he feels the amendments were not needed in order to ptive the way for a Council motion to remove Carmichael’s signing authority. “The Board could have waited until after a council meeting to change the bylaws,” he said. Markan says the motion toremove Carmichael’s signing au-. . thoritv will probably be put forward at the December 4 council meeting. Chamberlain, however, feels things are quieting down. “My impression is that things will stay- as they-are,” he said.

Self-tissessment

We are dealt a five card hand in life, the secret to success is finding the right game to play, This analogy epitomizes the function of self-assessment, the hand as your values, skills, likes, and dislikes, and the game as your career choice, The elements which f&your ‘hand’ are inherent to your personality; by ipvestigating these properties you can identify some of the career areas which ypu ,may be goodat, and which may interest you. The whole point of this exercise is that many people have difficulty identifying their interests and aptitudes truthfully and accurately. This information can also be used to convince employers you are well suited ftir a specific position. In preparing for the job search, it is first important to take an honest look at yourself and be honest, Next, show this list to someone who knows you very well and ask if they agree.Hopefully this person can be candid enough with you to point out where you are right and where your self-perceptions may be ,a little off. Another simple method is simply tocarqer-fantasize a?$, imagine what you wo’uld realistically l’ik& to do-with y~~+fe. * The two examples of self-assessmen above are sim‘plti’exercises which can be don? quickly and easily. For a more in-depth view of your personahty and vocational interests; the Sttident ou Vocational Advisors have. some exercises which con help further. For an even more i&depth analysis, visit counsel Ping services,, rooq 2080 in Needles Hall, They ha6e seveI’al”t& which take a little bit of time, but are a real eye-opener, and &y< you things which YOU had probably not considered bef&.Xhd one more good idea is to attend one of the Knowing Yourself/&cupationa workshops, which you can sign up for at Needles Hai! in Career Services.

CAREER O.FF RIGHT

Kaos

INew look at JFK case iv by Henrietta Imprint staff

Veermcrn ’

doctors say it exited: the back of his head. Their facts were based on reports from the doctors at Bethesda Navy Hospital, Washington DC., where John was flown later on that day. The Wa.rren Commission avoided the Parkland doctors’ reports in their proceedings. Apparently, as the Citizen’s Justice Committee and thousands of others have speculated on, JFK’s body was altered from the time it left Parkland hospit al, at 2:00 p.m., and arrived at Bethesda hospital, approximately 6:45 p.m. Thi presentation had t_h&e in attendance considering the following: He left in 400 pound bronze casket, He arrived in a grey metal shipping casket, encased in a body bag.

Who murdered. JFK? No, it’s not ‘Lee Harvey Oswald, but Jackie Kennedy’ Onassis. At least, she should not be ruled out as a suspect, says the Citizen’s Justice Committee, who believe there was a conspiracy to kill John Fitzgerald Kennedy. A representative from the CitiZen’s Justice Committee was at El 2028 on November 23, lecturing on the alleged conspiracy to kill JFK. The Committee is a private RrouD and has no official ties Gith -legal departments in Canada or the United States. The representative maintained anonymity, because “We don’t want the wrong people to know who we are.” The Citizen’s Justice Cornyittee name members of the Secret Service, international organized The gun could have crime, Fidel Castro, and w.hite supremacist groups as possible removed by the parties to the conspiracy. Using evidence from the Zaproder film, which filmed JFK’s He left with only one-third of reaction as he was hit, and other his brain missing. He arrived previously overlooked reports, with no brain. A brain was later the case was constructed as folproduced, and then lost, lows. The wound at the back of hia John Fitzgerald Kennedy was head was five times as large shot twice, The first shot went T ‘upon arriving at Bethesda, as , through the right shoulder, and was documented at Parkland. , came out the throat. The second The enlarged hole makes trajecand fatal shot entered by the left 4 tory of the bullet impossible to temple, and exited at the lower ascertain. right rear portion of his head; reThe Secret Service vetoed the port&d doctors at Parkland HosParkland hospital’s right, by legal jurisdiction, to perform the pital, _ where John was taken immediately after the assassina-. autopsy, and ordered the body tion. be sent to Washington, D.C. for This conflicts directly with the autopsy. the Warrgn Commission, the ofAs Lee Harvey Oswald was ficial commission investigating being led back from questioning, the assassination of JFK. They he was shot by Jack Ruby, who is state the fat al bullet entered at suspected of having ties to organized crime. ’ the exact spot where Parkland

Three shells were found by 0s wald’s rifle, suggesting three shots were fired. The Committee says Oswald hit Texas governor John Connally with his second shot, not with the first shot as believed. In photo documentation, Connally does not visibly react after the first shot, while JFK does react. Connally does react a few frames later, on Oswald’s second shot, The third shot supposedly missed. If the second shot was fired at John’s left temple, Jackie’s head would have blown up too, given the angle of lohn and Tackie’s heads ifter thi first shot.lThe car wihdow would have shattered, too, because it was rolled up, The shot was taken from inside the car. Frame 313 of the Zapuder film, taken just after the first shot,

Christmas Shopplng on a Tlgh! Budget? I

been planted and secret service

COME

shows a white flash before the Kennedy’s faces. This cannot be brain tissue blowing up, because it should show up black on film, being mixed with blood, It could be a muzzle flash. Jackie’s right hand, placed by John’s left shoulder, is hidden from view in aI photo documentation; This hand was free to hold a gun. His head should have jerked ‘forward, if he was hit in the back. In fact, it jerked toward Jackie. The Committee surmises she pulled him by the collar, to bring him closer. The gun could have. been planted and removed 6y the Secret Service. They could have also trained Jackie, who did ap-

Continued

on page 13

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Friday,

Dukakis

December

2, 1988

advisor

NEWS

at UW

Priest slams Republicans by John MacFariana

ministrations. Drinan accused Reagan of teaching the public to “love to hate the evil Russian em“We look at the Catholic pire” and attacked his successor, Church in the U.S. and it is the saying “Mr, Bush has no real best of times and itis the worst moral policy.” of times.” Overtly partisan, Drinan With those words, former U.S. called Bush “unworthy as a precandidate” and pointed Democratic Congressman for - sidential out that the democratic congress Boston and a Michael Dukakis advisor, Father Robert Drinan has no respect for t&e new president predicting Bush is in for a up the bleak state-of\. . summed rough four years, Drinan feels affairs in American religious Bush is lying when he says that arid political circles, He ap. peared to be right at home with h e will not raise taxei and adds “his policies are in total opposihis passionate, rapid-fire delivtion to what the Catholic Bimissing a chance to er I rarely shops ere saying.” ta l e a stab at the Republicans. He is rather disillusioned and The olitical heavyweight and disappointed at the fact that 54 *outspo en Roman Catholic priper cent of Catholics voted for eat, whose campai n slogans inReagan in 1080 and 51 per cent’ eluded “Vote for 63rinan or go to for George Bush this year. One HELL!,” spoke last Friday night theory he has is that young couat St. Jeromes College on such ples “are too busy being yuppies topics as the U.S. presidential and are addicted to their . . me .s . toys, race, the economy, nuclea, r nrmn -__._they are enslaved to their poScontrol, the rights of women and sessions but are ignorant of any racism, moral issues. I’m not really sure Drinan was quite militant in if the U.S, has aconscience, there his opposition to both the Reais a black mood of selfishness.” gan and newly elected Bush ad: Although Americans comprise only 5 per cent of the worldpopulation, they conriume over 40 per cent of its resources. He points out that -as the wealthiest nation on the planet, the U.S. ranks 15th in aid to the third world. In 1074, Henry Kissinger pledged that within ,ten years no child would go to bed hungry, an6 yet the numbers have continued to increase despite the fact there is enough food produced to feed every human being. Domestically, Driban says one in every five .children in the States lives under the poverty line and two to three million [conservative estimates] homeless are literally ignored. Over the last eight years the homeless have ‘beeti labelled ‘lazy’ and funds for the poor have been slashed, to which Drinan asks “in this wealthy country, why is this allowed to happen?,”

Imprint

etaff

He went on to blame Reagan for single-handedly reviving nuclear warfare and for proposing the insane’ theoty of a wfnable nuclear war. Drinan mentioned that in 1983, U.S. Catholic bi-

for deterrence), program and

the Star underground

Wars nu-

clear testing. Although .he feels they still did not go far enough, he added “we are taking a strong position on a difficult matter.” Currently, &ee nuclear weapons are produced daily in the U.S. and more than $300 billion a year is spent on the military, while some five to seven billion dollars was recently slashed from government medical expenditures. He praises Canadian Catholics for having the most militant anti-nuclear stance and is pleased the church has come into the nuclear issue where .they have never previously been involved, He admits however, “1 would love to see some more visible results. A constant stream of reminders from Rome would have a great impact, we would be s&n as a peace church.” He points to the example of three Catholic bishops in Texas who produced a paper banning any Catholic in that state from working in’s factory which pro. duces nuclegr weapons. He de* manded that we as Canadians “Canadian soil fight so that should not be available for attack form either of the superpowers.” As far as the role of women, Father Drinan acknowledges it is a key problem area in the church and says “I’m not sure what the future brings.” The church is still formally opposed to the ordination of women, the number of nuns has plummetted to 100,000 from 180,000 and he warns they will lobe millions -of other Catholic women if the church does not change its views. “&auvinism still exists in the Catholic religion and that troubles me,” he admits but the present establishment in Rome will not change its position. Drinan fears the U.S. iti falling behind other nations on this issue. The church is opposed to abortion but Drinan says the pro-choice and pro-life movements are dividing- Catholics. Racial iension is still a core problem in the U& exclaiming “I hear, 1 feel the racism in my law schqol.” Drinan assaults the Republicans for repeatedly opposing many of the equality movements and accuses Bush of using racism during the recent el&tion campaign, in what he ,caPPed “a sltiatiy carirgaign, fuI1 of mailicious attacks to which Mr. Dukakis was very reluctant to antiwer.”

Canadian Memo

.Brock University The figures are +in: Brock’s decision to hold dry OrienTation events this past Septeniber proved costly: the student council lost $26,000 for the week. Most of the losses were incurred at non-alcoholic events.

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Four students have-sued the university for breach of contract after the Faculty Association went on strike last month. They are &manding a percentage refund of their tuition fees for every day of classes lost, plus $100 in general da&ages.

Queen’s University A final attempt is being made Maintenance and Custodial Staff, ployees. All three unions could be Wages are the major issue in the

to avoid’ a strike by Queen’s Technicians, and Library Emon strike early in the new year. dispute.

Campus cafeterias lose about $6O,OflO annually due to theft. Approximately $25,000 is lost through stolen food. The remainder goes toward replticing china, cutlery, glassware, and trays from the cafeterias,

Universiiy The university is setting library open z&hours-a-day in the spring.

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Two students picked and ate their dinner from a garbage can to protest food prices in Housing and Food cafeterias. While diners at the residence cafeteria looked on, the two plucked food from a garbage pail to draw attention to the problem,

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York University A campus pub placed on a three-month probation last month may -have.the pr’obation reduced after negotiations with the management board. The pub ‘was originally placed on probation after violating university and provincial legislation, including allowing patrons to take alcoholic beverages off its premises.

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Pascal Lecture

Carbon proof of God’s existence gether theories and observations into a large tapestry. The coher.ence of the tapestry is the truth On November 22, the 10th anbut the tapestry of nual Pascal Lecture at the uniti of science, theories and observations is versity was held. Dr. Owen never finally proven. Gingerich, Senior Astronomer at Cingerich gave some fascinatthe Smithsonian Astrophysical of the design. Observatory and Harvard As- ’ ing indications One fact was that carbon, which tronomy Professor addressed an is a uniquely qualified basis for a preciative crowd which comlife, has the precise resonance to p Petely filled the 500 seat Theabe easily created. If carbon’s retre of the Arts. sonance: was four per cent lower, After a discussion of the size or oxygen’s 0.5 per cent higher, and age of the universe, Gingethere would be no carbon. This rich outlined the beginning moreally shook Sir Fred Hoyle, the ments of the universe; that it world famous scientist who disoriginated at a specific time. He covered this fact. Hoyle, an athe‘acknowledged the theory that ist, stated it wa’s beyond the universe is eternal, but felt it question there was a supercalcuwas a “cheat” and a “mathematilating intellect who had “moncal trick” since the nature of time keyed” with physics and biology is undefined by Stephen Hawkand chemistry to produce life. ing, the author of this theory: Gingerich felt the most remarMore relevant to the issue of kable thing in Genesis was that creation and cosmogony, said God created man and woman Gingerich, was the indication of with a divine spark of consciousa designer. He devoted much of the remainder of his talk to this ness and morality in us: more insubject. credible than the origin of the He pointed out that the Rible is universe was that God demonmuch more concerned with the strated His sacrificial love for us who of creation, the motivator of inChrist, which we are called to its design, rather than the how of live out as well. Either we see design, Science, on the other science and the universe from hand, is mechanistic, Andy asks the viewpoint of sacrificial love, about the how, not the who of or we will commit nuclear suidreation, Science weaves tocide, said Gingerich. by Eric

Cartoonist Jack lefcourt hopes to donate profits from his first book to help foster a child. ‘The child would be sponsored through the Foster Parents Plan of Canada. “Fun With Helium” is a collection of cartoons which have appeared in the Imprint over the past three years. The book, published by the Federation of Students, is available at the University of Waterloo Book S-tore, the Fed office, the record stare, and the campus shop.

Kuelker

-Davis Centre controversy by julia Cospve imprint etaff The November 10 opening of the William Davis Research Centre was a celebration of technology that successfully suppressed, for a couple of hours, the controversy associated with the $50 million project. The’ overbudgeting ,and general cost of the project has been questioned by both students and many faculty members. UW President Doug Wright maintains that although the building did go over budget, due* to a change in the economy at the onset of the actual construction, the overall cost of the building per square foot was still very reasonable, Wright also claims that other areas of the campus, especially the,arts, were not adversely affected by the cost of the Research Centre since the project was specifically funded by the -governL ment and various corporate

partners, Some faculties do not agree. @e department chairman expressed disapproval of the building’s funding, stating that the department was specifically required to forfeit much needed funds for the new building; Dean Robin Ranks of Arts, said the project. made- a “substantial draw from the university as a whole,” and that Arts was at “no disadvantage relative to the rest of the university.” However, because Arts have the highest ratio of students to faculty, any budget restriction is keenly felt. Faculty ‘and students alike agree the new building has f&d up much needed space: .Waterloo had the lowest ratio of campus space per university student in Canada. Federation of Students President Adam Chamberlain, believes the cost of the Research Centre is not an issue at this point in its completion, but agrees the source of the funding is a cause for concern, The new

Research Centre -undoubtedly “put a bit of pressure on campus,” despite Wright’s claim that UW programs and operations were not affected by the project. Chamberlain also expressed concern over the implication of using corporate sponsorship as a premise for the base funding of the University. Although corporate funding has been crucial to Waterloo’s extraordinary and rapid development, such funding establishes a precedent of the university’s ability to obtain external financial support. Direct government assistance could be diminished. Contributing sponsors ma also insist their specific tee x. nology be exclusively used on campus, dangerously limiting the breadth of technology available to students, as well as dictating the types of re:

’

continSues

search conducted. The issue becomes a question of where to draw the line in corporate involvement on campus. .Wright’s priorities have be&n under question+ This past summer, Wright stirred up concern and an angry response from the faculty by his stance in vtirious articles, and in particular to a statement he made in the ’ March issue of the XhaJJenger, where he was quoted as stating, “Here [at UW) to a degree, it’s how many businesses you own or are _tied to” that determine how successful a professor is, Wright’s perception of the place of business in education appears to be one of extensive involvement. Office space in the Research Centre has .been donated to contributing corporate partners belonging to the Insti-

NOW OpEli

from page

parently have previous firearm experience. Capability of committing this calibre of crime has not been proven. What would her motives be? The committee points to jealousy and public humiliation over JFK’s infamous dalliance with Marilyn Monroe. They also point to ‘a suspected previous involvement with Aristotle Onassis: lackis spent four to six weeks on Otiassis’ yacht before the assassination. Jackie Kennedy was also declared as a persaon above suspicion by the Secret Service. She was never questioned in con-

junction with her husband’s assassination. The American Department of Justice released its report in September, 1988, stating there was no conspiracy. The Citizen’s Justice Committee decided to release this information, based“ on a research project they completed this summer, because they believed the

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When asked what other cases had been worked on, the representative replied, ‘That’s classified information.” The Citizen’s Justice Committee is holding simiiar seminars all across Canada and the United States at this time.

for Computer Research. Wright, however, does not feel the corporate presence on campus compromises education principals, but is simply one of the .Centre’s unique features. Wright reemphasized that “technology is extraorcjiriarily Smpor- * tant to Chada;” and of our need to be competitive, When asked if ‘he didn’t, feel the administration’s priorities were misplaced since campus safety, which affects all students, has been an unresolved issue for numerous years. Wright responded he did not feel the. cost overrun of the Davis Centre and the lack of funding for adequate lighting and edestrian/cycle paths were para Plel issues. ’

tub

:’

Jtickie’dbnnit? Continued

After strong applause for a clear and interesting speech, Gingerich answered questions. One point he repeated was that as a scientist, he found the universe very difficult to understand without understanding it in terms of a designer. This concept gave greater coherence to the tapestry of scientific theory and observation than theories that state the universe develop&l by pure chance. In response to another question, Gingerich stated sin fit into the scientific tapestry when God . surrendered part of the power of choice to us, in the process of making us human, Finally, Gingerich was asked. about the place of other religions vis-a-vis Christianity. He replied that God has many avenues of faith and revelation, but He is difficult to comprehend through science: God can best be understood through a person, Christ, which is why Christianity has a pre-eminence over other religions. At the conclusion of the lectube, we were invited to touch the oldest object known, a 4.8 billion year old chunk of meteorite. This thought-provoking letture will be broadcast on CBC AM, December 26, 9:00 p.m. on the Ideas program. .

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Poverty Consu,meS \ Latin America by Sherwood Hinre Imprint staff What roll has the international development community played in contributing to the progressive economic and social deterioration of Latin America?

This was the opening

question and crux of the presentation given by Chilean refugee Juan

“Not only

stagnating

Cereno on November frid Laurier University.

at bettering the economic situation for pnly 20 per cent of the population. The other 80 per cent live in poverty, or absolute poverty; they therefore do not contribute to the formal economy and thus are igtiored.

Latin America (Mexico to Chile) is a world leader in accumulating foreign debt. Chile has one of the largest per capita debts in the world. Brazil is one of the largest debtor nations in the world, with a debt in excess of $110 billion, Brazil cannot even pay the-interest on the principle. All the major economic factors indicate that the economies of all

Cereno emphasized that bilatera) aid is not developing aid so much as it is the development of business. In l-1386, Latin America received $44 billion in official development assistance, the same amount CanWBana spent on hearth and education that year. ,This is approximately one third the amount the Third World as a whole spent to service its $I trillion d*blt.

but deteriorating” Latin American nations are not only stagnating but deteriorating. Unemployment rates have increased 40-60 per cent overall for the last five years. Wages have fallen by as much as 25 per cent in some nations.

17 at Wil-

Imprint wins

Rural to urban migration trends show that urban areas are growing by 20 per cent per year.

Imprint; your venerable student newspaper, won first prize for overall excellence in advertising among university and college newspapers, in the 1988 Ontario Community Newspaper Association Advertising Awards Competition. Imprint also won first prize for general excellence in that category, beating out Durham College’s. Chronicle and Ryerson’s Eyeopener who were second and third respectively. Ryerson we gloat, we gloat - has a journalism school.

Oae half of the people live in poverty. In Brazil two thirds live in poverty and of these two thirds, one third live in absolute poverty. Cereno called this economic and social scenarid agross injusi tice considering that Latin America is so rich in natural resources. This problem, he said, is not a result of the majority af.the people, but rather the seven per cept who own 93 per cent of the land. This seven percent re* ceives the international loans, and the development process is geared toward them. Cereno pointed out that Brazilien economic planning is aimed .?.a;,

In concluding his presentation, Cereno asked the audience to realize that bilateral aid as a development process is not a one way street, Major business interests at this end often are the maix beneficiaries to supposedly foreign aid packages. He

is also opposed to giving any bilateral aid to those governments that violate the U.N.‘s Charter of Human Rights. Cereno is currently doing his Masters at Wilfrid Laurier University in the Faculty of Social Work.

h/i&kl UN coming . b$ Ralph Zuljen Imprint staff

Cereno said that for every dolkr given in bilateral aid, 65 cents returns to Canada. This is why the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) is so willing to help finance major development projects in the Third , World. A lot of money is involved, increasing “inferest” in development. Cereno argued that the philosophy behind CIDA contradicts the reality of how CIDA operates. CIDA’s call for human reiource development has only appeared to date in publications dealing with their strategy for development. CIDA continues to place emphasis on capital intensive development projects. Cereno alsd noted that one must remember the relationship between CIDA and the Department of External Affairs. He counselled it would be foolish to+ dismiss the relationship that exconsidering CIDA was ists, created by the External Affairs . department+

.The bnited Nations Club of the University of Waterloo will hold a Model United Nations Assembly at Waterloq in. January. Many participants are needed for this event to be a success, and Julian Pope, the leading organizer of the Model UN., is already looking for them. On Tuesday, November 22 and Thursday December 1, a booth was set up in the Campus Centre to recruit delegates. “Many people are not aware of what goes on at the U.N. and this event will help remedy that,” said Pope. The Model UN. can also be “a lot of fun for the people t al&g part .” A Model U.N. simulates the activities of the UN. General Assembly, and those of the Security Council, the Legal and Political Council, and the Economic and Social Council. Delegates “pretend to be the actual representatives of the various countries in the UN,,” said Pope. “The Model UN. will attempt to.

resemble the actual U,N.‘s activities and behavior as much as poqsible,” according to Pope. pope indicated fhat part of the goal of the Model U.N. is to “foster discussion on issues that are presently or have recently been debated at the U.N, “Possible topics include disarmament, development, Central America, olitical prisonSouth Africa, ers, and deserti Pication iq, northern and central Africa. The Model3J.N. Assembly at Waterloo will take p‘lace during the weekend of January 27-29. It will include two General Assembly sessions and one session of each of the Councils. The Genera1 Assembly sessions will take glace at the Theater of the Arts. Each country can be represented by between one and five people. Pope anticipates that about .two hundred people will participate.

Those people interested in further information should leave a message in the UN. Club mailbox in the Federation of Students office, or they can call Julian

Pope

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Imprint,

Friday, December 2, 1988

’

Rabbi recalls “oddity” of *German Jew lay Daneal Charney Imprint staff In eighteenth century .Germany, the “first modern Jew” was born out of an isolated Jewish community called Dawsau. His name was Moses Mendelsshohn, On November 17 Rabbi W. Gunther Plaut talked on the “The Modernity of Moses Mendelesohn (172%86),” the annual Spinoza-Meir lecture. Plau: began his leicture by describing the life of the 18th century for the Jewish people in Germany, They lived in ghettos, belonged to a class of second degree humans, and “were tolerated, but little more,” In this time was born the man who has been compared to the two great Moses before him, namely Moses Mimamitise and the Moses of the ten‘commandments A small, deformed man, Mendelssohn left his Jewish community and escaped to Berlin to further his education. He was never allowed to forget his second degree status, On his way to Berlin, for instance, he was made to pay head tax, as is paid for cattl& After years of study in several languages and mathematics, Mendelssohn gained the respect and friend&p of several members of the gentile community because of his intellectual ge-

nius. As Plaut noted, he was viewed as an ‘*oddity” of the Jewish Community. * His hopes were shattered when the German king Frederick II dismissed his acceptance into the academy. He wanted to translate the Penta into high German, to educate children in their native tongue so they could understand the laws and traditions of their religion. The Jewish Orthodox community was enraged at his actions and charged him with trying to make Jews forget Hebrew. But this idea was the beginning of the Jewish Reform Movement today. Plaut asked, “How then should Moses Mendelssohn ’ be judged - as a herald of freedom or of ultimate cultural destruction?” He left his community’to learn High German and other studies, at a time when Jewish community closeness was vital. He began to translate traditional, sacred prayer books to the German lane, guage, Were these actions really detrimental to the Jewish culture or did they inspire new ideas? Because he tried to integrate into the gentile society, Mendelssohn is dubbed the “Modern Jew.? Dead for 202 years, his dilemma is still alive: to keep true cultural heritage or blend with the society one lives in, According to Plaut, this same conflict prevails in our society. Many isolated communities,

such as the Mennonites, believe that only total isolation from the outside world will prevent assimilation with- other cultures. The same holds true with thi Orthodox Jews in Israel, wholive in closely-knit communities. Jn Plaut’s view, this “Jewish Socrates” failed, because his success did not bring equality to

Grant planned

Avward to honor UW st,udent A special award will be set up to honour the memory of a University of Waterloo student killed, Oct. 26, in a traffic accident west of the campus. The victim, Kaiulani (Lani) Carr, 22, was a fourth year Recreation student; keenly interested in physical fit-

ness, she worked at the Waterloo Women’s Club and the Willowells Club, Waterloo. She had planned to pursue a master’s degree and then work with senior tit izens. Dr. Stephen Smith, chairman of Uw’s recreation department, says’an annual memorial award will be created, to go to senior

IJan. 6,1989

The popular conception of artifical intelligence IAI) is changing our dues about ouraelves and humanity in general, according to Professor Ronald Ragedale of the Ontario Institute of Studies in Education (OISE). Artificial intelligence is the creation of computer programs that can simulate human thought processes, Ragsdalte was the speaker at a UW colloquium entitled “AI: Artificial In- ’ telligence or Adaptive Idolatry? The theme of Ragsdale’s lecture was how, in some cases, iechnology has ceased to be a tool or servant. but has instead become the maker - setting its own agenda and forcing s&et to adjust its values according Yy, The most extreme incidence of this changing of values is computer idolatr . To il I ustrate his claims, Ragsdale used a number of illustrations. The media, he says, has encouraged the view of AI as machines that can duplicate human intelligence, by focusing on farfetched prophecies and fantasies, rather than cold, hard realities. I” Ragsdale does not believe that AI will ever equal human intalligence, and laments that the sensational minority will always get all of the press. The result is that the general public values ‘are changing, being lowered to accept what will always be inferior’ machines as their equals, As an example, he quoted Marvin Minsky, the father of AI and still one of the leading reas claiming that searchers, human creativity was just a complex assortment of rulea that someday will be reproduced by a computer. Minksy claims, “The brain is a computer made of meat.” These statements help to lower our self-@nags as people

and promote the computer-brain analogy. The result, according Ragsdale, is that it soon should not be objectionable for our children to be taught solely by coniputers, ratherf than people, even though the computers alone will probably yield an inferior education. Ragsdale attributes the notion that computers are euperior to our pride in our creations, which must always aeem better and better.

A popular “pseudo-AI” program is Eliza, a computer simulation of a psycho-analyst. Joseph Wizenbaum, Eliza’s creator, hypothesized that the program was so popular because it

not ~ohg fo get bny serious studying done around here. anyway.)

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Campus

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Smith hopes it can be presented at convocation next May. He says the university, is also planning to grant a degree to Lani Carr, posthumously, in May.

Lower Mall, Campus Centre Open Man. to, Fri. 9tOO.am- 4:30 k

gave people the illusion. that it actually cared about what they were saying, rather than following a set of rules to formul’ate responses. Ragsdale obse’rved that peo le who have devoted a great dea P of their lives to technology sometimes have trouble accepting that it isn’t the answer to everything. Despite hi8 observations and reservations, Ragsdale claims he is not against technology, he uses computers every day, but he feels that we should stop being otie sided about our conceptions of it, sto seeing only the benefits, whit E may in fact be far out-weighed by possible detriments, 7

STUMNT,GOHi&E. CHEAP, (Fuce itt:,y&+e

students displaying superior academic and personal skills. will likely be a plaque.

-USED BOOK STORE

Artificial intelligeme .

by Travis Capener Imprint ‘staff

titles in the Globe and Mail. Presently, he is writing fictional stories, and the filmrights to his last book, “The Letter” have just been sold. Plaut is also a wellknown commentator and panelist on television and radio programs and a avid supporter of humanitarian causes in Canada.

the Jewish people, In fact, because there was such a lack of equality, four of Mendelssohn’s children converted to Christianity to gain a better status in life. But, Mendelssohn succeeded at inspiring many followers because of his fervour for learning, Rabbi Plaut is responsible for sixteen books, and numeicus ar-

16 Imprin& Sriday, December 2, 1988

Editorial

After lengthy debate

COMMENT

Ad is detrime-ntal and should be pulled

Ad sta.ys. .-

on cars and boats; they are found in the ground holding the leg of a man, or are looking dead, and they are found dancing in the kit: then extolling the joy of some new roduct in advertisements. Ads ecus on legs, breasts, and bums.

Last Friday, the Imprint staff voted to not remove a strip club ad. A similar motion to give the money gained from the ad for the last two weeks was also defeated. There were several reasons given as to why the ad should remain in the paper. CThe issue of censorship, questions as to/whether the ad was sexist, and queries as tg the actuai extent of sexual assault and abuse (and their relationship to pbjectification) were all brought up+ It is interesting to note that an. Imprint editorial (October 14) came out against the Miss Oktoberfest -Pageant. In the October 28 editorial the Imprint said: “The Imprint is opposed to the strip club’s objectification of women.” Despite these past editorials, the ad remains in the paper. “Raising the issue of sexism” (October 28 editorial] never happened. Not one staff member. who supported the ad remaining in the paper wrote a comment piece or article on the issue. Things came to a b@l on Friday, November 26, when it was decided by a vote to let the ad remaiin in the paper. .

At the regular meeting of Imprint staff on Friday, November 25 the following motion was introduced by an Imprint voting staff member: Instead of treating people (and “That the- Grand Tavern ad be removed from the Imprint (effective in particular women) like human Nov. 25’19883 because the ad is sexist and perpetuates the objectifibeings with intelligence, emocation of women and men.‘: tions etc. (ie. a real and live perThe ensuing debate involved more than 38 staff members and a ads turn people into small contingent from the Womens’ Centre. son), objects, important for only their For weeks now, Imprint has been embraced with controversy over physical characteristics. I realits choice to accept the advertising of the Grand Tavern which ize this is a pretty general dbfinifeatures the promotion of female and male strippers at the Doll tion, but if you want to do some House and Huggies. reading on the topic of sexism, By defeating the-motion to remove the Grand Tavern ad, Imprint the Woman’s Centre can point has sent a clear message that, in this case, it is not willing to censor you in the right direction. the contents of the newspaper’s ads as long as they are clearly not The ad in question, [The obscene nor illegal, nor discriminatory on the basis of race, sex, Grand Tavern and iti particular sexual orientation or re3igion. The Doll’s House) did not merit Those staff members who supported removing the strip club ad from the newspaper numbered a total of nine; whereas, those OQremoval according to the major ity of staff. It’s important to unposed to the motion numbered 18. The-mqjority of staff echoed derstand that I am not against statements such as “The campus paper should not be a censor.” One nudity, the human body is beaustaff person warned that pulling the ad may be too puritanical a tiful. What I do have problems response, while another writer who voted against the motion said “... with, is the exploitation of nudwho are we to judge? It is anti-democratic - We are reading too much ity to make money. Sure the into the ad.” strippers get paid, but the primIn contrast, supporters of the motion to ban the ad from Imprint ary money makers are the men explainid the ad is setting standards for the paper with a narrow view of men and women:&e staff member insisted “We are taking 7 would argue that the removal of the strip club money from.ads that harm peopIe.“The staff member who sponsored the motion claimed the only concern of Imprint is to make money off would-be an act of setting standards that should the ad. This is the wrong attitude, he said.. exist in a student paper.” Regardless of the separate and mixed opinions of the newspaper’s staff and the opinion of Imprint itself, the&sue was not jitst whether Ifor the most part) who make I One of the first concernfLothe Grand Tavern ad,has the potential to.cause harm. The issue also t money by getting people to beiced was the issue of censorship. involves whether the ne’wspaper could act-eth@ally in r&moving the come objects up on .a stage. It was argued that removing the gd in question. Based on the 2:1 ratio which favoured the defeat of the As summarized by Ann Simad would censor reality. I would motion, it is resolved that Impr&t,.after careful consideratiqn by monton we must realize that the argue that the removal of the staf.f, ct)nnot support the banning of the Grand Tavern ad as a protection of women from sexual strip club ad would be an ac! of legitimate action of *the newspaper. Further, Imprint has determined abuse, sexism, and violence has setting standards that should .that removing the ad would not be in keeping with the majority of nothing to do with censorship. exist in a.student paper* Perhaps student opin&oq. Those fighting to protect women the *$a~& Un’t align *itself It should be understoo& th’at’a d&isioti tias &de bywpriit staff from the promotion of these in~with the messages of tin adver‘and should be respected,as final - in ccincordanoe with,,the bylaws justices know that the censortiser, but we are giving tacit sup: .which govern the corporation. Imprint’s Statement of Principles ship of female sexuality, ad sex port to ,m ad by run&g it. We ,declare “Imprint is a student newspaper, democratically run by are the means by which the seare the means of distribution of studeats and dedicated to serving students. The staff of the paper, cluded a& tidustries provide a an advertiking message. We also accountable to student apinion, determines the policy of the paper.” service. make money from running this After weeks of publishing background lqaterial including interShould .,women take their 1 ad. Removing the ad would be an views, editorials, comment pieces and letters-t&the-editor on the cloth& off on all beaches and act not of censorship, but of re.topic, Imprint will not entertain similar motions directed toward the jection of the perpetuation of ti&n riot be made to feel that sex-Grand Ta3em ad unless new information is‘ presented or unless qality must be hidden, the skin people as objects. studtint opinion changes drastically. magazine, and stripping indusIt is interesting to note that the A second motion was similarly defeated which proposed donating staff member who first brought tries. would not be the means. the revenue derived from the Grand Tavern dvertisement to charithrdugh which sexuality ‘can be up the issue of censorship, later ties. tried to pass a motion that would expressed. Women must fight for Also, since this is the last issue of Imprint, hold that thought until a voice: a self-defined expresdisallow all future discussion on January, and in the meantime, MERRY ,CHRISTMAS. sion of th’eir sexuality, which ‘the topic. [The- __motion was re-, _ does not depend on the payments jetted] Sounds like hypocrisy to from men, so that the suppresp me’. sion of sexuality in our society Since no one has given a defiwill no support the industries nition of sexism, and there which exploit women. seemed to -be some confusion at Following this Comment piece the meeting Friday, I thought 1’4 “) venture one. Sexism is the &Me; thetie are’statistics otitlining the growing number of sexual aspresentation of people through ’ objectificatign that can lead to sauits and increase in wtie beating. For those of you who do not discrimination. People I [most believe there is a problem you’ll often it’s w-en] are turned into commodities to be possessed. get stats. I only have &e for Women lounge in bathing suits ._ question .r

Imprint staff members and UW students: Why are there so many sexual assaults in this country? How do you explain their increase? I would like those who can’t see the connection between the objectification of women in the media and attacks against women to explain to me how this objectification does not create or re-affirm the idea of women as an object (less than human] to be possessed and used. It is time we look at the sources (causes) of sexual assault, and we begin to deal with the problem. Phil Robinson Maria Sedivy Renw Baneteau

The following statistic are taken fromcanadian Crime SW tistics published by Statistics Canada. Catalogue 85-205. Anyone can get Q copy of this report by writing or phoning Stats‘ Canada in Ottawa. From the period 1962 to 1982 sexual assault rose from 3.1 acts per 100,000 population in 1962 tb 10.3 acts per 100,000 population in 1982. Indecent assault rose 62 per cent from a rate of 21.0 acts per 100,000 population to 34.0 acts per 100,ooO. In 1983, rape and indecent a& sault were changed to sexual assault. There were three levels of sexual assault. 1. Aggravated sexual assault (assault endangering life]. 2. Sexual assault causing bodily harm, add/or using or threatening with a weapon. 3. Simple sexual assault which includes touching or rape without a’ weapon. Between &983 and 1986 the number of reported sexual offences rose from 48 acts per 100,000 population in 1983 to 80 acts per 100,000 popuIation in 19& Se%-uai assaults rose from 42 acts per 100,000 population in 19pg So 75 acts jxr 100,000 in 1986: In 1988 ’ less than half f47 per cent) of r6ported sexual assaults resulted in charges, arrest, or summons to appear. Reported or known sexual as.saults 1986 (22,‘823] ; 1987 (24Psr91 Actual offences 1986 (19,191) : . 1987 (21.021) Unfounded reports 1986 (3,432) ; 1987 (3,928) Offenses resulting in charge, etc. 1986 (8,973) ; 1987 (30,014) Not yet gone to iail 198fJ (4,131) ; 1987 (4,737) q’ Adult males charged 1986 (5,964] ; 1987 [S,S69), Young offenders charged 1988 (1,528) ; 1987 [1,788] Females charged 198fl [60] ; 1987 WI

_~~~

.‘Ekted kds ~ Tothe-dt&r~

:.I

10,OW dollars‘here, 8,000dollars there I pretty soon we’re talking real money. What bothers me more than Shane Carmichael’s expensive involvement’ in what should be B.Ent matters, is the fact that the Federation of Students is a two million dollar per year corporation. Perhaps some of the members of the Im-

.> inust share

print staff, who hopefully have more time than I do, could start doing some investigations into the Federation accounts, and let us know whether our money is really being mismanaged. I suggest they start off, by trying to get “full disclosure” from Mr. Carmichael pegarding Canada Day 1988. If Mr. Carmichael will accept a suggestion Erom someone who

IContribution

list

Travis Capener, Daneal Charney, Greg Clow, Kevi; Cogliano, Lisa Dillon, Glenn Hauer, Angela Heegs, Sherwood Hinze, Eric Kuelker, Andy Koch, Stacey Lobin, John MacFarlane, Chris Reid, John Ryan, Renate Sander-Regier, Cathy Szolga, Derek Weiler, Chris Wodskou, John Zachariah, Ralph Zuljan

by now really him this: Yf;‘I’offer the ex&ience that workijlg for the Feds offers everyone on campus, irot just those elected into key posts, is an important part of what our university has to offer its students. By trying to be the leader of ill the Federation’s major events, Mr. Carmichael ~ has denied other,students the opportunity to sharpen, their organizational skills within an orgapization meant for them.

has

probabl

pissedhim’0

This

is aleseon

I've

beenlearn-

ing all term, and.have been applying the 4ast few weeks - if you’d like to _hear how it’s worked out, Shane, come over and ask the West Sicks. K&h Logan 4B CS/ Don Went

Confidence in Carmichael’sabilities the editor,

individuals like Shane Carmichael. But why is he always The time we spend at univerfaced with such harsh criticism sity is supposed to represent the in the public forum? I guess we just simply enjoy “dumping” on “best years of our lives.” The leaders for trying to make proquality of student life on campus. at UW has been a great concern gress. In ‘84, the then Fed Prez Toti to many over the years. In the Allison, was charged with overpast, school spirit at UW has been tit Lest, dismal. We are whelming criticism. What about making progress though - the creation of Fed Hall! Councillors were screaming because thanks to such people as Shane Carmichael, construction costs were drastiAs a frosh in ‘84, I remember a-.. cally over-budget and ite. opening was far behind schedule. Shioerama that only served to embarrass the campus [WLU Students demanded their Fed raised thousands of dollars more hall term fee back. I wonder how than UW). This year, however, I loud the screams would be now if someone threatened to take was impressed to see UW raise top dollars for the event (across Fed Hall away from the stuCanada, second only to Westdents? Don’t get me wrong, budgetary ern]. In first year I wanted to enjoy a wild homecoming weedeficits should not be minimkend; after all, my friends at ized; however, there are times Queens told me it was the best when they ma be called for. I event of the year. I attended a wondep what t x e campus would look like if on1 the buildings football game on the Saturday; that met availab Te budgets were however, there was no organized pub after the game. I probably built? should not complain a’s WomeIf Student’s Council is truly incoming ‘84 was, more than terested in school spirit and likely, well under-budget and ‘campus atmosphere, they must certainly not interfered with by be intelligent enough to realize the likes of Shane Carmichael. money is required. Growth and This year, I saw a @eat basprogress takes time. More im‘ketball game Saturday night; portantly, change demands on next I entered the Blue Zone [one an energetic leader like Shane of three homecoming pubs that Carmichael. On countless occanight) and then it was off to the sions, Shane has shown his after hours dance in the CC, strong commitment to the stuThings sure have changed. dents of UW. Even though his Successful evelit’s r*quire orSO- call4 “shortcon&&’ and ganizational committees eombudgetar.); problems in the ‘87 priced of dedicirted, Canada IJay event were highly hard-working, and enthusiastic publicized+ the students elected TO

Uniquely Canadian & / To

the editor,

Lyn McGinnis in his plba for tolerance and understanding states his case for Gay ordination succinctly. However there is an inaccuracy. There is no Unitarian Universalist Church of Canada. Canadians have a unique history as Unitarians rooted in its European heritage. We have emerged from the non-subscribing Presbyterians of 3iitain, who fought for non-confessional freedom of conscience. Canadian Unitarians are affiliated nationaly with the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), and internationally with the -International Association for Religious Freedom (IARF). Our policy is congregational. I am familiar with the resolution that is mentioned. In fact I was at the General Assembly as a Canadian delegate when the discussion and dialogue took place and the subsequent action of voting money to support the Office of Gay Concerns. Our ties are close with our American friends, but please do not marginalize and devalue the contributions of Canadian Unitarians as a minority group. As a Canadian and a Unitarian I under& and all too well the tensions existing between natianalcontinentalism and ism, internationalism. The pull toward reciprocity (protectionism) on the one hand and freedom of conscience (or trade] on the other is strong. An interdependent global vi&n does not negate my Canadian roots or identity. Identifying with liberal

religion as I do, seeing the ier emergence of McCarthyism in the politics of the USA and Canada in the past few months has been disturbing. All the paranoia of the USA and Canada became bouxld up in the infamous word. Canadian Unitarians still choose their ministers, male or female, not on their gender identity, but on their ability to serve the .congregation of which they are a part. Janet May

the editor,

I am writing with very serious complaint. Today (Nov. *23), there was a problem with cockroaches in the wild Duck Cafe; yet, in violation of the law, it remained open, SCOOPS, next door, was closed because of this. In fact, tomorrow the place is due to be sprayed. I am not at all impressed with the concern ‘Food Services has for the health of the student body. I trust the Waterloo health inspector will take this situation more seriously. Doug Nopkins 2B Applied Math

him into office, Maybe there’s enough of us that realize quality campus events are worth fighting for. When reading Mike Byerley’s letter (Imprint Nov. 251, I became confused as to the exact point he was trying to make. It seems that Shane Carmichael is being criticized for “exhibiting aa ambition for higher glories,

surpassed perhaps only by that noble and ambitious Roinan, Brutus.” For the way Shane has been rewarded for his countless hours of dedication and hard work, I would not blame him for walking out on us now. But, I feel he has a responsibility to his electo-, rate and therefore should face this political challenge with the

strength and vigour he has always shown. Shane Carmichael you’ve never been a quitter, please don’t start now... Don’t budge from your ppsitiqn of VPOF - I have full confidence in, your leadership skills! 1 Cheryl Smith Management Sciences

TO YOUR HEALTH . Cocaine

pros

and cons

We are taught from an early age that what we do with our bodies is our own business. Our doctors provide us with the facts necessary to make an informed decision about major surgery or birth control, for example, and the rest is up to us. The supreme court in one province recently ruled that a husband had no right to interfere in his wife’s pro-abortion choice. Most of tis will face a decision about the use of recreational drugs at least once in our lifetime. In all fairness, it should be an informed one, This article attempts to provide .the potential user with major facts, pro and con, concerning the use of cocaine.

Often the risk is iery small; cocaine use is difficult to detect by those enforcing the law. You don’t have to consume cocaine to be involved.,, you just have to addict. other people. Who wouldn’t want to market a product, where there was 100 per cent guarantee of return sales?

PRO Cocaine is known as the “rich man’s drug” IHowever due to the increasing demand in recent years, the price has been coming down so that it is nawwidely availabb, to anyone for about $4~, a “hit.” The first&ma, you have “nothing to lose” because the sample is usually free (often the drug will be offered to you when you are relaxed and most susceptible, eg. at parties).

PRO Cocaine is readily available to anyone in the Kitchener-Waterloo area, Some day the government may legalize its use, making it easier and less dangerous to’obtain and making it a potential source of tax revenue. _

CON Unlike marijuana, cocaine is highly addictive. Fifty per cent of first time users get hooked. Of the remaining 30 per cent, 25 per cent will get hooked the next time, and so on, Using cocaine has been likened to playin Russian Roulette: if ou are thelucky player to a ave reached the fifth 3:arrel, there is a 100 per cwt chance the ” un will go off,” No amount of willpower, “mat 1 oism,” or intelligence will stop it. Ninety-five per cent of all users will be hooked after using cocaine only five times. One expert, Dr. Ivan Perucso of Scarborough, has gone so far as to state under oath in a court of law that there is no such thing as “recreational” use of cocaine. i PRO Cocaine’s high has been described as about eight times that of an orgasm. It gives you supreme confidence.in the most daunting of situations and enables you to go for long periods of time witholit sleep, CON The high do‘esn’t last, It causes accelerated heartbeat, increased blood pressure, fa’ster breathing, a rise in body temperature, dilation.of pupils, sweating, and pallor, but within 48 hours, cocaine has dissipated from the system so that it is not detected in chemical tests. Some of the symptoms of addiction include cold sweats (the user feels cold and likes the room warmer), involu ntary muscle spasms (especially when a& mood swings leepI, wild irrational within a s h&t span of time, paranoia extreme physical pain (often well-hidden from the observer), loss of appetite and weight, difficulty urinating, and eventual impotence. Should you become addicted to cocaine and wish to reverse your decision to use it, you may find it difficult. There are only two in-house treatment facilities in Canada, one in Guelph, and one at the Bellwood Health’Centre in Scarborough. The latter costs $S,OO~ above OHIP coverage and has a 60 per cent success rate, meaning a total cost of $18,000 for two treatments plus the loss of income during this period up to six months, There is a waiting list and most people cannot afford the fee. ‘. ,1

PRO Cocaine is highly profitable for those willing to risk becdming, involved in its distribution,

CON . Under the federal Nal’cotic Control Act, unlawful possession may result. in a prison sentence of up to seven years, Possession for the purpose of trafficking carries a maximum penalty of life imprisonment. Importing or exporting cocaine calls for a minimum seven-year term and a maximum of life imprisonment.

CON Legalization will not alter cocaine’s phyeiological effects. Should an addicted woman become pregnant, her baby will be born addicted. These children have a one-in-ten chance of living a normal life, They must overcome a habit in the first traumatic days after birth which most adults cannot defeat in their lifetime. In addition, they are born with missing limbs, organs and are mentally retarded or of low intelligence. . CON If you .purchase ‘cocaine while it remains illegal, . ou are supporting an unofficial system, chic x is well-organized and may make it even harder for your to reverse your decision to use cocaine.

More cocaine facts

‘It is possible to hide an addiction from friends, co-workers or even a spouse: this was done by Dr. Martha Morrison (an Atlanta psychiatrist who has written ori the dangers of cocaine] for 17 years while reaping awards for her professional performance. It is, therefore, difficult for others to help the addict. The most common mode of administration is inhaling [snorting] cocaine hydrochloride into the nostrils. The drug may also be applied dirtictly to the mucous lihing of the mouth, rectum, or vagina. Intravenous injection is used to accelerate the onset of affects and increase their intensity. Cocaine hydrochloride can be purified and chemically altered to its corresponding free base. This form of the drug can be vapourized and is particularly potent and fast acting when it is smoked. The only medical use of cocaine today is as a local anaesthetic for some surgery of the nuse and throat; for other sites, it has been replaced by less toxic local anaesthetics, The “recreational” use of cocaine and the administration of anaeshetic do not mix. In the case of a medical emergency involvlhg anaethetic, a patient must *‘come off’ cocaine before being administered treatment. This may cause severe loss of blood, severe weakening of the patient’s condition and lower the chances for successful treatment. Do you have questions or concerns? Contact the Health and Safety Resource Network (88~ 12~1, extension 6277) or the Drug and AIcohol Information Line (l-800-387-2926].

Imprint,

Friday, December 2, 1988

FORUM

. .

- Christianity’s “impossibilities?’ To

the dtor,

I direct the following comments to Ian MacBeath. , Concerning my criticizlms of Mr. Kuelk&‘s “Evidences of God” column, I would contend that the distinction which you make between “impossible” and “unexplained” is .irrelevant. Let me explatn why. Initially, I must stress I havi not brought anything new to Mr. Kuelker’s argument. I have used . his tools, not my own, to point out its inconsistencies. I agree man of the incredible events descri b ed in the Bible may some dag be scientifically expfainable, perhaps by theories that are bein developed today. But Mr.Kuel a er is arguing for Christian beIiefs from within the current body ofscientijicknowledge atid theories. It is from within the same body of knowledge and theories that I refuted his argument. I think you misunderstood my purpose, Ian. I wanted to’show

Mr.Kuelker that his beliefs could be overthrown using the same tools (the current body of scientific knowledge and theories) that he had used to overthrow the Hindu lady’s beliefs. Perhaps Christianity’s “impossibilities” will eventually be scientifically expl+inable; unfortunately, they flatly contradict the scientific knowledge which’ Mr. Kuelker thinks he is using to prove Christianity’a truth. This is not an argument against the possible scientific proof of Christianity. It is an uncovering of the inconsistencies present in Mr. Kuelker’s article of 11 November 1988. So, many elements of Christianity are impossible if considered from within the constraints of modern science, and it is from within these constfaints that Mr. Kuelker is arguing. Scientific knowledge which has not yet been discovered is irrelevant, You also mentioned that in my letter you saw “yet another ex-

IZ$videncesofGod Man is unique by Eric

Kdker

After reading the responses to my column of the past two weeks, I would like to comment on a number of points. I never denied the existence of the soul. I only denied that it controlled the body from a pin-prick in the brain. I specified the lady in my example was associated with the World Spiritual University, splinter because I am aware of Hinduism’8 diverrPity and nian groups, I did’not make a comment on Hinduism in genera Y . I am not inherently superior snd arroFRnt to people of other religions. I am painfully aware I am sinful and fallible in many V. ~,vs, and that th wily way rwt is hy Cdc glvrf’ I thmk careful reading of my parable, and Mr MasReath’s letter, ui last, Hi&, wlli~ CAtidA up Ybbiilb h Irliker letters. Man is absolutely unique in the universe. No o* p- tieing, no other creature on this planet is capable of speaking, of tirriting, of thinking in abstract terms. We alone can use language to represent our thoughts, to communicate them to people thousands of miles distant: Why? What gives us this ability? How can we account for our ability to think, to have consciousniss? nave you ever wondered why we are so blatantly different from the rest of the creatures on this planet? This is no trivial question; yet, I cannot remember it being seriously addressed in any of my university courses in philosophy and psychology. Do any of you wonder why we‘ are so unique from the animals, and yet discussion of our uniqueness is bizarrely absent? Is this not an important question that we should address in university? If you were to go about asking people what makes ua so unique, they would probably brush off this simple question and reply that it is a question for philosophy, and ignore it. Should it be ignored? Could it be that once we start asking in a serious fashion where our uniqueness came from, that we would understand ourselves much better, and possibly find the remedy to our problbms? Let’s look at what all would agree would make us uni ue. We all use language, and even Darwin agreed that man’s use o9 language made him completely uni ue from the animals. Despite years of effort, psychologists etill % aven’t taught .&imps to use language in any way that resembles human use. Why is it that our closest relatives’ according to evolution, are wholly incapable of doing something that we.do with great ease? They can use very primitive technology, but no language. And what of our consciousness? How can we think about thinking? I find it extremely difficult to believe the strict evolutionary view that interactions between matter produced something toThere are other tally distinct from matter - our consciousness. elements to our consciousness that cannot be exIjlained by matter interacting with matter. Examples of this are the universal sense of morality that things are definitely right (helping the sick) or wrong (child abuse], and theuniversal use of art and music. to man’s We’ve looked at a wide array of facts that teatif uniqueness, his humanity. How are we to account for t x ese facts? The Christian response is that man is created in theimage of God, and that we share some attdbutes with Him. Personhood originates with God as a personal being, andHe implantedpersonhood in us at some point. This 1s not a compelling argument for the existence of God. However, it does fit the available observations and explains them quite well, which is one of the criteria I stated for evaluating a religion or philosophy. The stronger point I want to make is this: how can you account for these facts in terms of matter-matter interactions? Which combination8 of 92 element 8 , our conexplains our love of music, our language, our moralit sciousness? Christianity can account for the origin oft K ese qualitiers. What are good alternate explanations?

ample of what seems to be the current trend in journalism: namely, an attempt to condemn and tear the opponent to shreds, instead of a civil confrontation and critique of another’8 point of view? I believe. my critique of the article was fine; although, I do agree that in places my letter was rather strongly worded; the only excuse I ‘can make is to say that Mr. Kuelker’s column put me into a rage for about three days. The reason for that rage is explained, at the end of this letter. I apologize, however, for any inappropriate comments I may have made. At the same time, I made some statements which were strong, but not inappropriate. I will defend two of them here. I said Mr. Ku’elker’s first premise was “dismally articulated.” Ii was. In all his articles, Mr. Kuelker has consistently demonstrated very poor writing ability. He should not be writing a column in a newspaper, I accused him of hypocrisy. The accusation was justified. The arguments he used to refute the beliefs of one person (the Wndu lady) also refute his own beliefs. But he would have his readers accept that what he believes is correct. In general, Mr. Fuelker’s columns demonstrate glaring logical faults. They do not further his cause, which is to reduce the “skepticism and occasional hostility directed toward Christianity in the university environment.” (“Evidences of God,” 11 November 1988). His ooc logic’ presented as .good Pogic, enciwrages skepticism, because readers do not have/faith in his ability to argue reasonably, My points of view were expressed in anger because I was (and still am) genuinely angered by this man who, through his ignorance, is helping to undermine the credibility of a religion ‘which I share with him, &can Saunders 3B English

Beware of King Fence posters To tha editor, King Fence has some flashy posters hanging around campus, hoping to recruit aomeone interested in making money and being their own boss. Beware. Fourty-eight people did it last year, and most regret it, . When you talk to them, everything will be appealing. They will tell you that sales will average $80,000, and your profit wil! be about $12, QOO.- This past summer, less than 10 people reached this target sales figure. This translates into poor profits for you, the manager, but doesn’t have as big an effect on the parent company, Total deductions worked as follows: 21 per cent to King, 50 per cent for materials, and over $3,000 in fixed fees, Lets take a more realistic look at a typical week: 85 hour labour week, two employees working 45 ho.urs each; sales of $3,000, and total deposits for the week - $3,000 [from completed production]. King demands you put all the mone in their account, and then they’1 Y give you the-residuals the following week,

Concqrned

On $3,000, King would take $630 (21 per cent). off the top, then subtract their fixed fee of $260, then deduct materials ($1,500 or 50 per cent), This leaves $610 for the week, which ou get [if they don’t hold it 3:ack]. From that, you must pay for sand and gravel [about $20), gas (about $40) qd wages 145 hour8 x two peoplcx $5 per hour tihich comes to, $450, leaving you with $100. If you don’t pay&r your pager (King will’make yOU get one], nor Reveriue Canada deductions, nor Worker’s Compensation, and nothing requires repair’ then after’ a 16 week summer, you will have made $1,600 - enough for two regular terms tuition, or one term with books, four months’ food, and beer money, assuming you live at the Campus Centre and don’t need any clothes, Or you can be like me, and borrow the money to survive and spend half your time dodging creditors, The contract that must fil;ii;;d is binding and King ou if you quit. Be smart, an 8 do it by yourself or get a real job. Jack Sinclair Math/Bus.

about violence

To tha editor, I was concerned to read in Wright won’t budge on Pageant [Now 25) that Wendy Rinelia [VPUA) assesses that future anti-Miss Oktoberfest demonstrations have the potential to become violent. Personally, I support those that took part in the demonstration, and I believe that Ma, Rinella was completely within her rights to take part, even as VPUA. UA means University Affairs, and since the Miss Oktoberfest Pageant was held tit the University, Ms. Rinella clearly has a jurisdiction on the matter. Furthermore, those that disagree with her position. should note that revioua to her election as VP upA Ms. Rinella was the Federation’s Women’s

Commissioner, and used this experience a8 art’ of her VPUA election plat Porm. Her election, then, supports this experience as applicable to her role 6~s VPUA, Q.E.D. (By the way, if you didn’t vote, don’t whine.) However, I think that the considerable gains made by those opposed to the pageant would be completely lost if the demonstrations became violent. Being forcibly removed is not being violent: it reflects noorlv on those doing the reiovini by’ showing they must resort to physical force to maintain their view. Clearly, if the demonstrations themselves become violent, sympath fbr the demonstrators wou Pd disappear by the same reasoning. Keith Logan 4B CS

Merry Christmas to Free Trade To the editor, Well November 21 has come and gone and despite the. fact that, the majority of people in Canada are against Free Trade (57 per cent of the popular vote] it seems it is going through. The response to the Free Trade Deal has been surprisingly immediate. Shoe manufacturer8 in Quebec have announced they shall shut down due to the deal. This of course was foreseen by the Conservatives and was seen as a desired result. One of the “desirable” side effects of the deal was t)le elimination of weak businesses leaving room for new strong businesses and reducing inefficiencies. I would have to argue that these goals are admirable and if that were the way life were actually to unfold I would be more than content with the deal, Unfortunately I fear this is not the complete icture. The shutting B own of weak plants acroas the country will cause an imtiediate employment . problem. The Conservative government has very few training programs in effect at the moment and the ones that do exist are ill-prepared to deal with the magnitude of the problem that faces us. When asked about the government’8 plane to deal with Q 4 4 + + + ;) t * Y 0 IO 9 b 5 E * %* 1 0 *‘+

the inevitable situation, Brian insists that faster is better. Brian said he was aware of the Drabis asking vou to run faster in a lem and that “steps wohid be world thit& moving at the speed taken to resolve that problem.” of a microchip. The .last time I heard him say Basically the Conservative gothat, the topic was acid rain. We vernment has decided that a genare all painfully aware of his eration of Canadians will have to ability to deal with the Amerisacrifice in order that future gencans on that topic. if Brian were erations will “pros er.” This is serious about this problem not an unreasona !I le request. would he not have programs Nothing good comes without planned to deal with it? aorne compromia&; t am not In addition to the unemployagainst the basic idea of free ment problems we have the “rat trade, rather I am concerned that race” problem. In a marketplace the ideas and go+’ of the deal governed by mure intense comwill overshadow the greater conpetition the advance of technolterns, and the notorious shortogy wiL1 takeplace at rates faster sightedness of our country will become shorter. Brian said he than we have experienced before, The problem with a society had a vision of what Canada will based on short-sighted goals and be like in the future, In the prolove of instant technology are all cess I think he forgot about the short-sightednees of the people about us. The alienation of the old, the degradation of the envirhe sold the deal to [big business.]. onment and the disasters of techIn this, the season of Christnologies that were implemented mas, I ask you to think of the before they were understood or bigger issues at hand. Think of before their ramifications could your feHow man and your envirbe analyzed, are just a few examonment. Please forgive the texpies. In a world of more intense tile operator8 and the shoe corn etition these problem’s manufacturers if you don’t rewou Pd become magnified. In the ceive a card from them this race for the buck, the idea of reChristmas. They probably don’t sponaible management of refeel very spirited this Christmas season. Wnuld ynrl if yo,u were in sources (includin people) will be overshadowed % y the “race to their shoes? Merry Christmas? beat the’ Japanese.” I will never Darren B8rr*y understand the mentality that 4A Chem Eng #* * I ? 0 + t.l.~~C*?~~~~~t_P_~,~~~*~~~.~*~~~~~~~*t~t~~*~~~*~.~.~*~*~*’*”*~ * * -. v ‘I - v v - - * 4 Ih&AlaadAlAll.

’

Imprint,

FORUM

Universe To the editor,

means that one may only regress in time a finite amount, so that In the Nov. 18 column “Eviprior to a certain point no physidences of God” Eric Kuelker cal being [neither time nor states the big bang is the creaspace) exists, tion ex-nihilo by God. According Some philosophers, noting the to the- hypothesis, near the befact that the universe as a whole ginning of earth’s history a limit outside of time, have stated that of infinite teaperature atid de+it simply is - eliminating the sity is reachid. Sin&all pliysfneed for a ‘cre&r, -The, prtiblem cal processed reach a limit, a3y is;’ that it does n8t ‘eliminate b talk of a physical ‘process prior need for +God, These I philoto this is meahingless; the;t’efore, sophers ignore: the fact that trawe can postulate God’s direct acditional roofs for the existence tivity in creating the universe of God cr eal not with the beglnfrom nothing. ning of thing8 but the being and However, there is a difficulty I activity of things from moment with this. when we say that god to moment. created from nothing, it does not A proof is summarized as folmean he started with a mystelows: -All things which we obrious substan’ce called “nothing” serve with our reason and sense and made the universe out of it. which exist can possibly not It means that where absolutely exist. If a thing exists here and nothing existed he caused matter now it must have a cause for its to be. Since it is not a transforexistence which is operating mation from A to B it correshere and now. Nothing can be the ponds to no other process - in cau8e of itself therefotie’it’ must fact it is not a process at all, have a cause in an entity distinct Creation* ex-nihilo is not an from itself which we call God. event but a logical designation. God ‘does not require mause beThe phraseology “In the begincause He is pure existence. Since ning God created the heavens He is pure existence He must and the earth” may lead us to contain everything that existbelieve it is an event. It simply ence can possibly imply; there-

The Ojibway people of Northwestern, Ontario have harvested and traded Manomin [wild rice] for over one thousand .years. The term Manomin comes from .q combination of “Manitou” which means Great Spirit and “meenun” which means delicacy. Ojibway Elders refer to Manomin as “Mani ou gi ti gahu” or “the plant the Great Spirit gave US,” hence, -0jibway consider this gift of wild rice as sacred. Over the centuries, this gift has often meant survival for many Ojibway people during harsh Northern Canadian winters. Esther Pitchenese, chief of the Wabigoon Reserve, visited the University of Waterloo last week. She epo ke of Manomin as once again providing Indians of ‘the Ojibway Nation of northern Ontario with another means of survival. Kagiwiosa Manomin Inc, is the only native controlled and operated wild rice co-operative in North America. Formed on the Wabigoon Reserve near Dryden, Ontario, in 1985, the co-op provides a way to re-exert native control over their wild rice harvesting and processing. Esther estimates that natives have been losing control over their sacred crop to non-native processors and distributors over the past thirty years. Prior to 1978, Canadian wild rice crops provided 42,~ per cent of the world’s supply. In 1978,

fore, He possesses all positive attributes to an infinite degree. The things we observe with our sense are not God because they obviously lack the perfections proper to God, Although his proof is not’accepted by all- phi-_ losophers the point it makes is that only’ God simply is, All other .things ‘are participated being. : + ;:. It cannotbe rationally demunstrated that the universe bsd:a beginning. For example, rat her than starting out at a point at infinite density all the matter and energy which exists in the universe today could have been blasted through a very small “wormhole” from another dimension so that the big bang would not be the creation ex-nihilo. It would <be the result of a higher order, physical process. The isotropic radiation that Mr. Kuelker mentioned in his column is compatible with both hypotheses. Whether or not the universe had a beginning, God will still be necessary to explain it, Jim J. McCrea 4A Electrical

Ekg’

2, 1988

888-4048

tkmecomina To

the editor,

men I-accepted the posktion as Hamesomk’ng ‘88 chairp,ersbnj I thought 4t‘ wa.is ‘going to be a challenging, yet rewarding. and fun job. After the first few initial committee and ‘director meetings, I realized that conflict amongst some members already existed. This conflict turned out to be the basis of many probelms. How can a committee possibly work effectively’ &hen the members don’t get along? 1 Homecoming ‘88 managed to take place and on the whole, it was’ a successful weekend. As far ‘as the Blue Pubs go, the Mamas and Papas was a bad decision [one that I had no control, over). But, the concept behind the other venue was to allow for the never ending line-ups et the

cwoblems Bombshelter and -Federation Hall and I believe it$o be a good idea. It WAS the first tim8I’d chaired an event of this size and I learned a lot from any mistakes I made in running the meetings. I don’t feel the committee was a total disaster. There was a lot of time and hard work put in by all members and for this Ithank them, I I gained some valuable experience ae well as a few headaches, Maybe my expectations were too high, but I red believed that, aside. from a r 1 the hard work, I would enjoy being a part of the committee. I only hope that next year’s committee can learn from the problems that this year’s commit-tee faced. Kelly Start . Homecming Chairperson 38 Math/Burinems Adminietration

years. Incorporating its production into a native-controlled co-operative busineas has drawn upon their indigenous knowledge of ‘wild rice and their communitarian values while respecting their spiritual traditions. “Hiring members of the local Band community has helped Wabigoon Lake Reserve break away from the welfare system and community-wfde alcoholism,” claims Esther. This in turn,is reducing the need for government-funded social-service and assistance programs. K.M. is now working to align traditional Ojibway cultural ways with the necessary business practices required for successful management and marketing to the outside world. The k8y to its continued success is the common vision of co-operation, community and individual self-reliance, and respect for the natural environment shared by the Native worker/owners and their customers. Members of the Reserve have r& newed meaning in the Ojibway term for wild rice - Manitou gi ti gahn - “the plant the Great Spirit gave us.” For information on Kagiwiosa Manoinin, worker’8 co-ops, and native issues, contact the WPIRG office, room 123 General Services Complex. (K.M. wild rice stocking stuffers are avail?ble at the WPIRG office].

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in 1!?79, the community had a 95 per cent alcoholism rate among the adult population. Since the establishment of f’he rice co;op, the return of thqaerernonial in 1983; and the d6nstruction ” iiowwow of a community school, the alcoholism rate has dropped to 5 per cent. After 3 years in operation, Kagawiosa Manomin Inc. opened the doors to its new $4~&000 processing plant. This plant has a capacity of 500,000 pounds of finished product per year. At a time when there is at least a 750,000 pound 1 glut in the Canadian wild rice market, some people have expressed concern about the viability of this undertaking. According to the band chief, however, Kagiwiosa’s supply of certified organic wild rice will be unable to match the demand for this traditionally processed product. This year, K.M. will sell over 30,000 pounds of Manomin through European alternative trading organizations [who have exempted this Native Canadian business from their Third World puIchasing criteria] and at leaat 10,000 p&mds throughout North America in health food stores and natural food co-ops. Markets are currently being explored in Japan and several European countries. Wild rice or Manomin is a food com- r modity that the Ojibway people have processed and traded for over 1000

wild rice was introduced to California, where it was producedin existing white rice paddies. California and Minnesota [both paddy, rice producers) now account for over 94 per cent 0.fihe total world production. In response to decreasing markets for traditionally-processed wild rice, Kagiwiosa Manomin established a workerrun co-operative, Eight Indian Bands and one non-status group in the KenoraDryden district harvest “green” wild rice for the co-op.’ Rice harvesters are paid up to’four times the price offered by non-native processors per pound of green (unprocessed) rice. The harvester’s within the Wabigoon Lake Band community and other local bands have also set up harvesters’ collectives which make decisions regarding the harvest, the price to be paid for green rice, and the maintenance of the wild rice stands. Ten per’ cefit of the harvester’s salary is placed into a wild rice development pool for further improvements in cultivation, harvesting, and farming practices. Kagiwiosa Manomin symbolizes a crucial advancement for the Native people of Canada. According to Esther, it presents a viable and successful model for native economic and community development. When Esther became the ‘first woman chief of Wabigoon Reserve

December

-Letters to the Editor are always welcome

notl$3g

from

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20 Imprint, Friday, December 2; 1988

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Imprint,

I .

Friday,

December

2, 1988

* ‘“I’W only be& working at Microsoft for a little over a year,.but in that : time I’ve wfitten q large subsystemused by &ll large Microsoft applica- I ’ ’ tions. It’s very gratifying to seecode actually make it out into the real -world, to seesuch .altige audience. The environment at Microsoft makes such turn-around possible; the attitude is that the developer is given as . much responsibility as they want. As for the countryside, I wake up to g - mountain view every morning9 and there are REAL places to ski out a I here!” _ \-1 Y’ .’ j 4uul B~nneati, Sufiure Design Engineer 1 I, _-I I , .

3. Math, Waterlou ‘87

- ,’

“I’m working onA C++ baskd programming environment. My respunsibilities include designing and implemeriting my tieas of the system (cur- 1 rently the incremental linker) and,providing support for 0~ developers. ’ Microsoft is the.dominmt soft&are vendor in the world. Our developers . (this- could be jlou). write cc!& that literally millions ‘of people,use. This was a big factor inmy joining the c6mpany: Microsoft ‘. has the forces to ‘get my products tb the world;‘” . L .

-Jun Gray, Sc$?wureDesign Engineer 3; Muth, Waterloo ‘87

. I

“Microsoft is a place of opportunity. If you are bright, driven, and,have an idea that yoti want to get dut into -theworld, then Microsoft has the resourcesto make-that happen. That can be incredibly rewarding.” I

7 ’

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+Robert Atkinson, Software Design Engineer B. Math (PMIC & 0), Waterloo ‘87

L ,’

“What I like z&out Micx&ft’s environmknt is very simple. I&speople. Microsoft is very simil;u- to a college campus.” Ccott

Rundell, Software Design Engineer BS Physics, Wuterlclo ‘85

“I came to Microsoft becauseI realized that I could either spend the rest of my life at sumexomp~y working with Microsoft tools...or I could come to Microsoft and write the tools that other people are going to be usins, At Microsoft, you know that your work will make a difference.” -Rico Mclriani, Software Design’ Engineer I?. Math, Waterloo ‘88

-. .

i4 .

Refugee groups reskt

the law

LAWS Wl.LL ,VH)LATE 1*

.‘.’. ;

Members of refugee and -taran organizations, including ilome at UW, weren’t apetheir doors to nasked children thb Halloween weeLend. what they were doing, however, tias holdiug a couferenoe to unmask sew Canadian Refugee policy and open Zanada’s %oF.~ . Pat McInnis, Indrani Chatterjee, Mark Pritzer and Don H&y, & onembers of UWs chapter of Amnesty htematioud, attended a conference Qn refugee issues October 28-30 in Ni ara Falls. The four, aM enthusiastic a“8a voedas of refugee rights, ~OlMtid~ and way with some eagerly paid their 0~ help from the Institute for Peace aad Cpnflict Studies at Conrad -be1 col. k?gi?.

Participants examiuedau issue of supreme impawtunce t0Cumdim immigration policy.

merits. Even the-h screening out an a#plicant from gaining refugee status requires .a unanimous co,#nmittee “decisib?> @ is ,Jeqd that since the decisiun is gained through conference, the adjudicator will influence the other member of the tribunal to accept his or her decision. In addition, even if given a trial date, the claimant is often sent back to where he or she came from to await the trial,

be. a safe third co@ry, Obviously these countries feel that if’ Canada doesp’t want thetie people, w’h’y’shr>uld they ac. I* ’ a cept them? This policy could result in a violation of human rights, since the cases are not examined individually.. For example .there is a’ great fear among refugee workers that the U.S. will be declared a safe country. While Nicaraguans are very likely to be safe in the U.S., Salva-

By sending refugees back to the U.S., Canada% indirectly violating its commitmerr% the UN and to human rights. Becatjsd GEE Federal Cabinet is co-ordinating the list of safe/third countries, the refugee. issue will now become politicized, The cabinet will be more likely to be swayed by historical, economical and political ties than by humanitarian issues. For Canada to proclaim the U.S. an unsafe country, for example, would

Taking a hil weekend to attend the B~minar, participants CYcamiued au issue they feel is of supremeimportance to refugees entering Canada and to the future of Canadian Imm@ration policy. The conference, organized by the Canadian Jesuit R&gee pl’rogram for Social Ju&ice. was deemed necessary because of the new Immigration laws, includingBillE55and its COdqdemehtq E?ill G~8. Due to there-elected Tory government, the bUi will probably come into effect in January, 1989. The two bills, meaut to streamline the refugee procepa and prevent abuse of the Canadian immigration system, have succeeded in outlawing many of the servita that church and h umuniturian groups provide. These organizations felt they needed an organiz4 fmnt not only to try to change these laws, but to continue their Work even though they could be criminally prosecuted under the amendments iutroduced by bill G 84. --

These

organiuti0na

will

continue their work though they could be p-ted. C-55,a bill introdumd by the Pcgovernment, was labeled inhumane by wellknown groups such as the Canadian Council of Churches (CCC), Cauadian Council for Refugees (CCRJ. and Amnesty Interuatioual. (AI) when it was first proposed in 1987. The CCC had, before this conference in Niagara Falls, already exhausted most avenues of contesting the law with no success. In the spri& of 1988, for example, the CCC requested each province to examine both bi&S (C-55 and C-84) legality under t&! constitutioq in the prqincial Supre4 Courts, Al1 pro*ces refused, Bill C&, which is now officially part of the Itigration Policy, haa been cri; ticized on a number df fronts. The topic of deba& in the initial stage was its proposed tribunal’s lack of impartiality [the tritiunal is a committee of two peo-

There have been horror stories at people sent back to Miami from Mirabel Airport in Montreal even though their inq*+y date was only four-d!ysfater. . . The claimants are responsible tor these ws ts. A se’cond topic of debate is the safe third country issue. This is one of the most controversial aspects’ of the bill. Not only is it impractica!, but it also can potentiall negate our commitm&t to the Unite B Nations. Under the safe third country policy, if a refugee claimant passes through another country while

doreans are not. The US. government bases their acceptance. of refugees on American foreign policy. Since Nicaraguan8 _ are -1 II . 11 . _.I rleezng a “communist ‘- government the US. is happy to receive them. The U.S. government, on the other hand, refuses’ to acknowledge there are human rights violations occurring in El Salvador because they support the current regime both in economic and military terms. For that’reason Salvadoreans, are not safe in the U.S. and they are likely to be sent back to their country, often to face

The “safe third country” could negate our commitment to the U-N. Obviously these dountries feel t-hat if Canada doesn’t want these people, then why should they accept them. or her journey to,Canade, he or she can be sent back to that country if it has been deemed “safe” by the Federal Cabinet. This list will exclude five classes of claimants from even having their case heard. In order to facilitate this action the cabinet plans to issue a list of coun-. tries they feel are safe. The impracticality of this idea &such that Canada has not get been able to negotiate with one country to agree to on his

al of pmmns, including ants, from CanadaThis $djudicator will be more likely to jud@ the applicant on imm&ation requititjbents than on refunee reauire-

squads. The Globe and Mail published this report-on May 3, 1988: “Salvadorean witnesses described a wide range of methods used to force them out of the United States including forced signatures on “voluntary” departure forms, deceit about the right to Aylum, cutting off phone calls in the hostels where they are+accommodated, transfers thousands of kiiometres away death

be very bad for American global image and Canadian diplomatic ties. : The third aspect of Bill C-55 which has been criticized is the act’s basis for appeal. Under C-55 the claimant cannot appeal the tribunal’s decision on the merits of their case but merely on errors of legal technicalities. As well, rejected candidates are usually told to leave the country within 24 hours. This leaves no time fir the refugee to collect the necessary legal docuhents or receive legal counselling, After reiurning from the conference Pat McInnis commented, “Appeals which are limited to errors of law have little likelihood of success. As a result, Sill C-55 provides no meaningful appeal mechanism by which mistakes made in the decision-making process can be rectified.

such

mistaken

being

inevitable-”

Bill C-84, the Deterrents and Detention Bill, was originally proposed as an emergency bill to compliment C-55. What was the emergency that prompted parliament to enact a bill which would successfully outlaw all the volunteer work done by humanitarian and church groups across Canada? The “emergency” -was two shiploads totelling about 330 refugees fleeing I racial and :~~~~~pyfpaFy’*&~~~.

I , c

Imprint, Friday, December 2, 19M,

HUMAN.. RIG--t-ITS, In August 1986, 154 Tamil refugees from Sri Lanka and, almost a year later, 174 Sikh refugees from India, caused Parliament to be c&led back earl from summer break to enact new legis Tation. These refugees were misled because they believed the Canadian Prime Minister when, in defense of the Tamils, he stated that Canada (would always remain a beacon for people yearning for freedom and fairness and would not turn away those seeking a better place to live, Knowing Mr. Brian Mulroney (or was it his “evil twin”) as we all do, I suppose Canadians were not.’ surprised when upon the arrival of the Sikhe under similar circumstances he said, “We will not tolerate illegal acts such as these,”

Refugees were mis1e.d by Mulrooey.

were -not to be proaticuted under this law, would these people be setting- up this connecting n&w&k in Canadi tb collaborate with the U.S. underground? The answer received is a realistic one, When given the power to do something under the law (that is, prosecute anyone who aids a person entering Canada: without the proper legal documents’- ’ tion) and a job to do (that is, stop those people without proper documentation from entering Canada) the Royal Canadip0 Mounted Police will do just that. In

ing specifically to female refugees and volvements, (I don’t think we need to reiterate bureaucratic incomnetence + refugee claimants. These women of here] but they must surely realize that co&e have a whole range oiFexperienpolitical p&rsecution and a f& for one’s’ ces unique to them; and for this reason often will need special assistance when safety has nothing to do with education. The whole conce t of refugee status is they first arrive, While estimates of the to judge on the Pegitirnacy of fear for percent.age of refugees who are female one’s life due to political or religious run as high as 80 per cent, very few of beliefs, not on numbers of children or the refugees admitted into Canada are the education a person possesses. female heads of families. Given the horPrivate sponsorship irr therefore prerible experiences many of these women ferred; although, it is not without its have had, and given the very difficult problems. To their advantage, private. conditiona in tbp camps, it is especially importsnt to bring them here and suii!r them with the support they Other concrete results which developed in the weekend seminar were the CCC’s intent to lead a court challenge

Why are these refugee workers’ activities now classified as illegal?

r’

In blatant criticism of the new refugee laws, writer John Fraser wrote in the March ‘88 issue of Saturday Night: *‘.,,in a country of some 2%million prosperous people, they have allowed 328 pathetic souls washed up on our shores to dictate the legislative agenda and fun;tameane;;le alter our official concept of u

for fairer laws and a strategy by legal groups challenge protesting

piece by iece. The C EC will protest the screening process aiid the actual absence of appeal after trying to obtain standing in the Federal Court of Canada without a specific case to protest. Obtaining standing will be difficult, but the CCC is relying on its credibility in past re resentation of refugees and the fact t Rat it has exhausted all other ossibilities of contesting the law to he Pp. In early 1889, legal firms such as those belonging to la Societe Internationale pour la eolidarite des Refugies will challenge the law on actual refugee cases. Seven points on which the law will be contested are:

C-M’S &tent, according to the Minister of Immigration, is not to penalize church and humanitarian organizations, But the bill says that anyone who “knowingly organizes, induces, aids or

sponsors can request a particular refuother words, if there is no’ intapt to gee so;that, by working with the ethnic psesawts, why are the~;gi .&&.g&er. communitititi, they can determine if workertiactivitiea now classified 8s flthere is a certain individual in ‘danger. legal? The primary task of NVR then is But, of course the all-knowing Canadian to aid these refugcss.despite the unjust Government must pre-screen these aplaws. and ultimately to charige the laws. plicants as well. As Indrani Chatterjee, who attended According to Chatterjee, “There are the seminar put it, ‘The problem adtwelve million people movin around ‘There is a connection dressed (in the seminar) was essentially the world today+ They have f eft tfisir how we can help and support refugees, between what is happening in homes due to political and economic . keeping in mind the political context hardship in their tquntries of ori in. In other countries and what surrounding them.” * this part of the workshop, we loo& ed8t They decided to “assist refugees out_goes on here in Canada.” ’ law as it was intended seems- next to - side of Canada to come here, and... to 5 some of the root causes responsible for &es8 twelve million refugees, and posimpossible. How does the Canadian Goassist refugees to stay in their region, 1) the fact that refugees arrivin withsible ways of attacking them.” vernmentplan on prosecuting Joe Refudepending on the situation.,. first out documents are automatica ‘f ly de“The main idea here is education. We gee Smuggler in Sri Lanka? Obviously, through sponsorship, and.., eecond tained in jail must begin to make people aware that this is not the intent. What they intend through attacking root causes of the 2) the fact that refugees coming from the there is a connection between what is to do, however, is use the various transd conflicts producing these refugees.” USI will be sent back to the U.S. happening in other countries and what portation companies to help them enPrivate sponsorship - that is a Cana3) the absence. of liberty of refugees to goes on’here iri Canada - for example force C-55. dian citizen accepting full responsibilchose their own lawyer to represent pointing ‘out that the “aid” Canada at their inquiry sends to the government in El Salvador + them 4) the “Safe Third Country” concept The intent may have been to stop profiteering refugee sniuggI~~, in fact goes to t)le military and in this 5) what the legislation considers to be a way continues the cycle of violent rebut in practice this ideal will likely change. credible basis for a refugee claim pression in , that country,, Everyone 6) the possibility of removal of Canapresent felt that this linking is very imdian landed immigrants Under the clause in C-84, any airline, ity for the first year after the refugee’s portant,” Chatterjee said. 7) abuse of the legislation .whicli allows train or ship company or individual can -arrival in Canada - is theoretically un“We also thought a good approach the rejection of refugee claimants for receive heavy fines-and even imprisonlimited. The government sponsorship would be to start lobbying school health reasons. ment for transporting someone without process is subjective and acceptance is boards for modifications in the curricuFor continuing NVR, the group disproper documents. Consequently, these often determined b factors such as ddlum of geogra hy, history, sociology, cussed creating a supportive nationcompanies are going to get really tough ucation, number oP children, language atid other sue R courses, to include a widie network including lawyers and on anyone who looks “foreign.” What and health. Canada’s reputation for focus on world events - especially as media sympathetic to their cause: and this means for the new grassroots orpicking the “cream of the crop” in their they relate to situations $vhich are proganization, which the seminar in Niaimmigration determination process is ducing refugees, Wethought it would be Canadian “aid” -to ’ gara Falls wa&alled to establish, is the no secret and these same factors enter in useful to try to use refugee stories a8 an El Salvador continues the need for Non-violent Resistance, the overseas determination process. educational tool, Materials put out by For this reas;on, refugee workers are -_ the Jesuit Centre,provide good, basic in& The term more familiar to most of us cycle of violent repression. often cynical when talking about goformation.” ‘is civil disobedience, btit it was decided vernment sponsorship; they cite that in the seminar that they wpuld discour“A third approach would be to dewilling to react quickly in a given situasince-education is a factor of determinavelop links with the media, to help pubtion. An emphasis was made on the fact age that term for their actions. Their tion, a number of highly-educated Cenlicize the whole issue more favorably new term was based on the argument that NVR should. not endanger the standing of refugees or landed immithat these people do not believe continugrants as they can be deported. ing their work for refugees is wrong, Highly educated Central Americans are being approved for The group also had to face the possiThey believe that to stop their work status despite evidence that some may have bility of being arrtisted and that certain would be morally wrong. I _ been members of death squads. sacrifices in the areas of their jobs, fiThe seminar defined two types of nances and family must be made. ObNon-Violent Resistance . (NVR): first, and more sensitively than in the past. viously then, this action is likely to.take aiding refugees without legal docutral Americans are being,approved for Finally, we discussed the work being a lot of effort, time aad mdky to be status despite the evidence that uome ments; and second, intentionally using done by various aid organizations (like successful. so much thankless effort tc may have been members of death the media to’ sensationalize their task. Oxfam) directly in the countries expeundo the damage done by a government squads in their hame countries. IroniThis intent to -publicize and “‘resist” call , higher education will likely get an riencing many of these probleme, We who, ironically, responded quickly and these laws combined with the immigrathoroughly to a brief hysteria over 328 app Yicant in before a peasant with, a felt it would be useful to begin networktion minister’s assurance that these number of dependents and no education ing with these organizations, to make I people. people (refugee-workers) were not being the education component as effective as and probably a greater fear for his targeted through; this legislation possible.” For further information on this sesafety in his native country. prompts one to wonder if the whole dis“There was - also--an informal subcomminar or on refugees in general you can The Canadian governmen? is per!aps cussion of NVR was not just a publicity , mittee formed to deal with issues relatcontact pan Haley at 578-5743, tactic. why, if these refugee workers - % not fully aware of the death squad inabets or attempts tq organize, -induce, aid or abet the coming into Canada of a person who is not in possession of a ;valid and subsisting visa, passport of travel document,” will be liable to prosecution. The intent may have been to stop profitetring refugee smugglers such as those responsible for sending the Tamils to Canada, but in practice this Meal will likely change. To start with, the enforcement of this

complementary to fight a court the legislation

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16.

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21.

22,

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Match these signs with their meaning: Baggage Claim, Baggage Lockers, Bar, Car Rent& Coffee Shop, Currency Exchange, Custbms, Elevator, First Aid, Molson Canadian sold here, Immigration, Information, Mail, No Entry No Parking, No Smoking, Parking, Rest&rant, Shops, Smoking, Telephone, Ticket Purchases,Toilets,Toilets Women. -7 I 1Ijqyy D I I - I â&#x20AC;&#x2122;B w ~;l;;;\l_y~~y,;â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;~ -_

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Head Damaae *-atSt. Jerome’s2 & S-eagranis by Trevor Blair Imprint staff.

’

Robertson Davies, the man of Canadian, nay, WORLD literatqre graced the .halls of St. Jerome’s on Wednesday as a continuing part of a reading tour to promote his latest novel, The Lyre Of Orpheus, the third part of a trilogy that began with The Rebel Angeis and What% Bred Im The Bane. Born and raised in Ontario, Davies has more than thirty books to his credit, amongst them, the widely acclaimed Deptford trilogy. Upon ascending the steps in Siegfried Hall, Davies claimed that although finding qne section of the novel that would inake’ sense on its own was a bit of a problem, he’d found-a part that was rbasonably self-explanatory. A brief history behind the selection revealed the saga of John Parlabane, a university professor who writes a largely ignored book.To attract attention to the work, the prof murders a man hoping to capitalize on the advertising slogan The boczk a man murdered to have published, (which Davies considers “‘remarkable promotion indeed!“) Parlabane then commits suicide, leaving the manuscript to two close friends - another rofessor and Maria, a woman R e was

fond of. Maria subsequently throws the manuscript away, and after Davies warned that you should “never throw anythin-g away!” (especial1 in a unii egan to versity) the reading build from this foundation. The first chapter of part four reveals the buffoonery of a Mr. Mervyn Gwilt, who is “every inch a lawyer.” His job is to e% pose. the non-existent conspiracy against the dead author, enacted by Maria in her disposal of this obviously lost, and (although Gwilt wouldn’t admit it]

Excrementurn taurorum

‘obviously questionable masterpiece.’ Representing ,Wally Crottel,. who is supposedly ParIsbane’s son, Gwilt flaunts his knowledge and love for Latin references that are mostly ikrelevant. He contends the work was too RAW for the publishers snd wants- one miilion dollars as a composition.’ Maria defends that the work is actually too DULL and that Mervyn’s case is mostly excrementurn’ taurorum (bullshit). George Carver, a retired RCMP and current private investigator, presents evidence that Wally isn’t even Parlabane’s son, thereby dismissing the

grounds the c&e is based upon, and throwing another wrench into the al&ady grinding. casq continuity. Wally attempts to validate his heredity claiming only Parlabane ever gave his mother the organism. “Without the org”anism how do you account for a child? FM Without the organism, no dice.” Carver retorts, “I don’t know what you’ve been reading.,. but you’re awaY off base. Take ,my wife, for instance; four fine kids... and she never had one of those things in her life. Told me so herself.” The absurd and impossibly entertaining banter continues a bit further and is then cut short by Davies’ appreciative’“Thank you.” FormerJy av actor, Davies delivered each line, amidst intermittent coughs, with force and punctuation, playing each part simultaneously. Question time. Someone wants to know about Anthony Burgess’ claim that Davies is due , for a Nobel Award for literature. “I bdmire Mr. Burgess!” spouted’ Davies, who went on to exphin the Swedish academy has recently shown itself interested in troubled countries where being a writer is considered dangerous. He felt that although these writers were

Contiaued

on #age $2

Superstar

of Can

Lit: R&ertson

thvis.

‘:7: ---

\. .:,,:, m-by-.

roam I

by CInrh

w&kou

Imprint mtaff The culture

recent influx to Schnitzeltown

k+ryL has had

a lot of us scratching our noggins around these parts. Fdur of the superfriends of Canadian literature - MargaretAtwood, W.O* Mitchell, Timothy: Fin&y, and

Robe&on Davies - have made it to the Erb-University corridor this month alone: Nostradamus said nothing about this, and fm exhaustive search of thejlropheties of The Kabbalah rev&led not a word. Surely, the rapture is nigh, and the graves of dead writers will open, their fleshworn d’enizens springing to life and clamo@ng for an immediate audience at Seagram Museum. Timothy Findley, one of Canada’s most decorated (GovernorGeneral’s Award and Order’of Canada]. and resjxcte&,~tqs,. enthralled [I don’t think, that’&.’ overstating things) a packed Siegfried Hall at St. Jerome’s last Wednesday with the title story of Stones, his new collectitin of short stories. Aftep p&ying his respects to a triq of writers from the UW community in attendance, “Jane Irksome,” ‘Sandra Birdseed,” and “that magical Irishman Eric O’Cormtick,” the genial, Toiohto-born writer began the story wit4 a lyri@ ev0qat;iq.m of growing up in Toronto in the latter stgges of The Depression on the wrong tilde of Yonge St; from Rosedale, Told with a domestic familiarity that leaves out no detail as too intimate, a vivid; but not sentimental, picture of the neighbourhqods and its characters was painstakingly painted along with a sense of the genuine wonder felt by thb narrator as a child at the divisive strength of Yonge street. Despite

Another

Can-Lit

superstar,

Tim

Findley p)roto by Peter !%&opoll8

the coming

of the war,

the story never takes on a Rockwellian mood of nostalgia; the narrator’s father goes off to war a tall, strong, likable family man and returns as a dilapidated near-sociopath bearing invisible, but indelible scars: “Nobody had said he would never be able to sleep again without alcohol.

‘Nobody had said he would try to kiil my mother.” The shame and harrowing details of his life with hiti father .a@ &a family’s attempts to cb with his father’s alcoholism 8”otinate the story, but the details as to the cause of the father’s mental decay are leaked tantalizingly slow1 . The name, “Dieppe,” is aEl au& d to only to lead to more stories of the family’s terror. A masterful Findley, over

- string-puller, the course ti

the

sis, to the awaited cathartic revelation that wc4d explain the father’s demise, then pulling out to delay the climax until we are of the father’s Lord ji4ike failure of courage at the Dieppe landing. He is, as it turns ou& not c q

A dilapidated I I near-sociopath,

. an incipient monster, but a well*. meaning tian -tara by :a! guilty conscience. However, Ms gr&atest personal tragedy iti t& wall he builds araudd birnslir;tf Tn the belief he is unworthy of his children’s love: as he satitters his father’s ashes at Dieppe, the nar“I would have rator remarks, loved a stone.” Findley writes hard, spare, but guage,

but thereaulta

Stones sensitive

in a lan-

are uncom-

monIy com&ling and haunting - due in no small part to the fact that his characters are haunted. by memories of the war, of a broken family, of the guilt of father a&d sun. Findley signed books reading and gracious&

after the rtieived

the idoring protestatioiis dying fanship -before Imp&t an audience. ..

df ungranting

Hew do you thhk* tbs mqm TkWhA eutwinaftitbs hture 0 r canadiall dwm ad writem and such bmk m Ths candacouncll? . The first thing to say is to those who have been calling .those of us worried ab&t the deal “cowards” and “afmidiof the future” and “having no faith io Canada.” That’s nonsense. We have a greater belief and faithin the Cahadian artist than tiosein favour of the deal; it’s simply a matter of beingconcerned about culture. When there’s a continuing argument as to what constitutes a subsidy, you hsve ‘to worry about the future of government assistan’ce, Without the Canada Counc& young artists wti have a very bard tiI getting heard - that’s why it’s there, to assist young artists. . And The hada Council is underfunded as it is: it needs doubh its current budget to continue. The resp6nse from the government in these matters is to turn to the private sector, but what they never seem to grasp is that those corporations willing to support the arts are vefy few. We just don’t have the corporate structure that contributes, although some companies do support the arts. But they have budgets, too. We’d be happy to get suppmt from the private sector if ii was willing - we keep hearing about the profits banks and oil companies are making: where is the suppoit from them? While we’m 011 tie subject &f eiotm tiem with the U.S. thmmgh .

Contiaid

on page

. t&dmwd ,

from page

-__ .’

trade,

you

Hem

to take

’

Timothy’ Findley’s

Gottlieb (after Canada’s former ambassador to the US,, Allan Gottlieb.’ (Findley’e lae t novel]. The TeJIin of Lies also dealt Yes, in terms of the governwith the culf usion of big busiment of Reagan and Bush. I’m not neae and government. Do oua~ a hardcore socialist, abut we’ve that ha pening much to d ay? just gone through a period where Abso Putely. In this election,, I definitely stand to the left on they (business) did whatever they felt necessary to put supart behind free trade, eyou I Reagan and Bush have Enow, “if we need more advertisno moral conscienqe ing, we’ll do it.” That kind of supI port is really scary because it’s absolute. current issue& In Reagan and Cone iracy lie8 at the lmrf of Bush, we have a couple of very The TePJing of Lies urd Famous dagerous operatorswho have no moral conscience. None. Just Last Words. Are you very interlook et the Iran-Contra affair. srtsd in conrpiracy theory? Well, I would use the word The government reaction was that it doesn’t ma’t ter - they pre“conspiracy” only in its broadest tend that it just didn’t ha pen. sense - I’m not a aranoiac. “Careless” is more t ii e word I And then there’s the casua Pattiwould use since thing8 only betude the CIA has about it8 o eratiqns. ’ They can walk rig ii t in come conspiracies when they’re caught. Usually, it ,seems peranywhere and it’s all right. Gofectly straightforward to the vernments should be about makihg the lot of everyone better, not people involved. Take the Noriega 8ituation. When the U.S. just the rich, and the on1 people Reagan has helped has ii een the government condonks their&@ ii&, you know, you can prove it trade in order to keep’the canal open, they’re not being conepirawith atatiatics. @#ow about the president ln toriAl, it just seems like a straightforward business deal to The Telling Of Lies? Is his being named “Warner” a joke about p them. Reagan bein@‘an actor? Have iou run’inio much flak over Famous Last Wtirds? There ‘Yes, it wa8. At one point in his wae a pretty thin line betwean career, Reagan was -a contract fact and fiction and there are lots ador for Warner Brothers, so I _ just threw that in RS sort of a of eslabrithm -imglimetd. . joke. Another funny thing is that I took quite a bit of flak for that Bueh would have been only and while the Duchess of Windabout twenty-five miles from sor was alive, it couldn’t be ubthere, There was also a Sec~e- lished in France or EngPand t of the Interior named Watt because their libel laws are dif7 another character named art ferent. free

ARTS

pretty dimview of American government in The TeJJing of Lies

The interesting thing was that there were a lot of things that I had to take on faith -when I had two pieces cif documented evidence, but no document to link them together, I had to guess, That’s where the fictional part of the book came in, But now that the files are open, it turns out that the guesses were right, and some of the guesses were so Qbvious that you have to-wonder why they tried to hide it in the first place. There really was an international network of all the ones in the novel like the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, von Ribbentrop, Harry Oakes, Ezra

L why Lindbergh? Well, Lindbirgh was very much a right winger. He was actually qutie a traiic figure - his child ~8s kidnabped and then he had to put up &ih the constant intrusions of the media. The gossip press rulned his life/so he lashed out against freedom of the press.

Your treatment of Ezra Potind in the novel wall prstty ambivalent. Yeah, he’s kind of a love/hate character in the book - and in my life as well. In fact, I’m workidg on a play about hi8 life at the moment. I respect a great deal as a writer, bti t-he morq you research about him; the more appalling he becomes. He was actively anti-Semitic, and that does come out in his poetry; he

grilling _ , -

used poet to upgrade antiSemitism. s ome people say he was forced to say the things he did. That’s bullshit. He wasn’t having his arm twisted when he spoke on the radio supporting Mussolini. There actually was a conepiracy to keep him from being executed as a-traitor - some of his admirers told the story that he was insane when he gave his anti-Semitic rants, But he was a very cool operator. He knew what he was doing, It’s kind of like William Casey suddenly getting sick before he could testify at the Iran-Contra hearings. What a convenient. blood clot that was. How long have you been working on the storiee ii Stones? I’ve been working on other things as well, but,Stonee took me about a year and a half. It a collection of previously I isn’t published stor,ies; it’s deliberately a collection on its own.’ I wanted to get all these people inside the covers of a single book even if I couldn’t fit them all into one story. HOW autobiographical ie it? All of it is, but only in the most subtle sense. You’re always dfiwing on your own life when you write and that has to affect the way you see and write things, As for th story I read, I wasLroughly the same age as the narrator at the time the story @es place. The smells, the king and queen in the arade down Yonge St. - those x etails are autobiographical. You eeem to be trying to woks

a real flrvoirr of Toronto. Yes. All the stories have aToronto connection. One story is about a husband and wife who are both writers in Toronto. Another is about a husband and wife who are both psychiatrists in Toronto. And there’s another abqut a man like Marshal M&uhan who has ati encounter with masks in the Royal Ontario Mu. seum. But you’re not living ia Tom@ anymore... Q$ just the piacticalities of whb’l am. What I need to nurture me now is to live on this farm. It was a very deliberate choice, I’ve spent so .much of my life involved in cities, and I mean cfy; nomically involved. I’ve lived in London, Chicago, Edinburgh, Paris, Boston, and Toronto, but what’ I need now is this farm.

, - “Whit 1need now ’ is this farm.”

In spits of the honaun and acclaim you’ve had, why b it that you’re still kind of an anonp oue figure in Cenediur literature compared with the likee of Mergarst Atwood and Roktson Davies?

I’m not glamourous, (laughs.) I don’t have a public face - for some writers that’s proper and not for others, The value of the voices of Atwood and Daviesis that they’re always there, and they provide a sort of comfort. I think I have a. different value, and that I speak to people in a different way. - *

_SHEAFFER, in ‘a friendly atmosphere with gookfriendk. A

Sheaffer puts ’ it in writing.

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UNlVERSIiY

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BOOKSTORE South Campus Hall . /

, 1.T‘_’ ”

- Imprint, Friday, Recembsr 2, 1888 27 I. II.

ARTS

On Gotham ,City Stag,e-,the, Forgotten Rebels run through beer-soaked heads front tables might have kept people away. However+ by the end of the set, a few foolhardy souls had entered “the pit” to begin crunching bodies. By the time the second set. rolled around, ever one was pleasantly plastete 1 I fincluding~ Mr. DeSedist), and the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan, so to speak. Yes, even your friendly neighbourhood reviewers entered “the pit” and found ourselves there for the

K-Tel will put out an album with at least five of their songs on it. If anybody out there has seen the Rebels, then you realize that a .“review” of their show is next to impossible, and pretty silly So, what did you do last Wednesday night? Well, if you were anyway, Al\ you want to know is: were they loud, were they among the 300 some-odd flailing fast, and did they have. feedmaniacs at Phil’s Grandson’s Place, then you were probably back? Well, yes, drinking to excess whilst listen-The Rebels, of course, are not a good band. That is, they ain’t no ing to about the worst calibre jokes since Buddy Hackett demusical. geniuses.. But, they cided to make money. Oh, and throw one hell of a party, as all who at tended can certainly atyou also may have noticed, in between various sweaty body test. Through two sweat-and parts, a band on stage. This band beer soaked sets, Mickey and the was The Forgotten Rebels. boyz gave a whirlwind tour of all their “big hits” (you know them all... Fuck Me Dead, Surfin’ on Heroin, Bomb the Boats, Live they have iarents? Strippers in Action, and so on], a few of their lesser-known tracks (i.e. their shitty stuff), and even Who are the Rebels? Where do a few pretty bitchin’ covers, such they come from? Do they have as the Ramones’ classic Blitzkparents? Do their mothers know rieg Bop, a version of Ziggy Starwhat they do for a living? If so, dust that owed more to Bauhaus are they ashamed? These .and than Bowie, the ever-popular many other questions ran Louie Louie, and, of course, Eve’ through the beer-soaked heads at Phil’s, while six-hundred ears _ of Destruction, The first set was disappoint[figure it out] were brutally asingly tame. Of course, that there saulted by “music” of the punk was only about five feet of floor variety. The really scary thing space between the stage and the is, about twenty years from now,

by Greg Clow am Imprint staff

and Kevin

C@li-

stomp Greg’s butt some day

I-

rest of the evening. A rip-roar* ing, head-stomping, butt-kicking time was had by all, just to end off, a few personal highlights included Kev getting to sing a line of I Think Of Her into the mike, flinging a Laurier jock into the pit by his head, and drinking $1.80 draughts of Labatt’s Classic until our eyes separated. Also a big thank you to those individuals who dragged us to our feet when we fell down (on our heads) and, of course,. hello to Ollie, who once again saw the whole thing from the steps,

“Where

is Greg

Glow,

anyway?” photo

by Peter Stalhapalir

Sk’ull-bustid line-up at Rm. 301 Nomind, has-been’s, et ceterti....

UNIVERSITY

ENSEMBLE CONCERTS CHORAL

by Andy Koch _ Imprlnt staff

BAND

CONCERT8:00

Theatre of ,the Arts’ Univerdty of Waterlpo

’ ,_,

December 4, &IS

Sunday,

8:Wp.m.

CONCERT

December 3, .:1988

Saturday,

The bullethead legions that * congregate at concerts rife with skull-busting tuneage, had reason to be’ at U of G’s Campus Centre last Friday night for another area performance of Nomind -along with some special guests. ’ Opening the evening were new local sensations, The Has-beens From Outer Space. Being as 1 know each of the band members, I can’t really comment too strongly. If I praise them, I’d be biased: if I criticize them, I lose friends. I can say that if it wasn’t for the sound system screwing up, this would be animpressive debut. I can also say they have a very listenable power-chord punk sound. It must bementionedthat Hasbeen vocalist Paul, has proven himself to be the-hardest core of all. He’s even more hardcore than the cool drummer, At any rate, we’ll have to wait and see if these guys will become underground heroes in the future. Next up, was a relatively new outfit from Ontario’s capital who call ‘themselves Son of These chaps tend to HaPP soun like one of those hardcore bands that you compare interesting bands to, in order to prove how good they are. On the other hand, they’re really not too bad, breaking things up with some nifty instrumentals and a cool cover of disco classic, The Hustle. The headliners of the evening, and justifiably so, were four of my heroes: Nomind. Actually, I%e seen this band so many times they definitely don’t blow me away anymore, But no matter when I see them they always come across as a top-notch, powerf ul rock’n’roll band, Nomind don’t do anything real1 special in the live setting, and t Ii ey don’t

OF WATERLOO

p.m.

HumanTties Theatre -’Lkliversity of Waterloo

Bach, Montevecdi, Mendelssohn,Paulenc

Chamber Choir Wilbur Maust, Director

UW Concert Bend’. George Holmes, Director

University Choir Robert Shantz, Director

UW Stage Band Michael Wood, Director

$5.00 (StudenWSunkw8 Tickets

outer space really aren’t money anyway”. photo even a write particularly great songs, It’s just that their highspeed, earth-moving sound and their instrumental virtuosity never ceases to amaze. They’re certainly not Uzeb but Nomind are very accomplished at what they dol This% what Black Sab-

friends.

by Andy Koch >

bath fans should be li#e.@.&nB to in the eighties. Even din an”“off ’ night, Nomind are one of the best , in the genre. On the whole, the event provided an evening of severe head and trauma - both deafening pleasurable.

Record Store Top Eight

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f I ”. -_. , -Is

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8. Soundtrack

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-The

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Based on sales at the Record Ccmpus Centre, U&ersity

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Imprint, Friday, Dece.mber 2, 1988

ARTS

Jazz. explodes all ov6r BombShelter / ‘I by Chtia Reid Imprint etaff

When organizers put together Jazz Night at the Bombshelter fast Thursday, they managed to touch upon more than one aspect of jazz and, in that respect, succeeded in putting on a terrific night of music. The show was opened by the beautiful Nathalie Craan, a

striking young singer who sailed

nately, went practically

unnoticed. Soon after she politely Lft the stage, the next act exploded into position. One couldn’t miss the excitement in bassist Al Richardson’s face as he vaulted around getting his band, Captain Zimbabwe and The Cabinet Shuffle, in place. Any perceivable nervousness the nine-piece band had was gone-the instant

through an impressive, albeit single-styled set, basing the songs on jazz standards. Her versions of Cole Porter’s Night and Day, Body And Soul, Valentine and Autumn Leaves went over the crowd’s head, Clearly, they were there for some louder, more complex fusion, so Graan’s performance, even her jazzed up Send In The Chvns, unfortu-

BLUES BLUES BLUES AND MORE

they thundered into their set of during solos might clean up the recent fusion tunes. Despite overall set. some tremendous instrumentaThis aaide, Captain Zimtion, the audience was just as enbabwe, also featuring great guithralled,.by’ the on and 6ff stage tar work hy Chris Norley and hijinks of,Richardson~nd trttm: Martin Bechard, keyboardist peter Nick Ali. Whien they werChris Rhoerig and percuasionfst en’t bouncing about, lapping u . ~Heather Adeney, ‘will indeed be a the audience’s applause, eat f!l force to be reckoned with on the member demonstrated a talent fusion front, ,Try to catch the that -will ensure the band a bar&the next time around. bright and hopeful future, L&e Nathalie Craan, The Their-+&covers a good deal of C-eMerchants were remusical ground. The Captain ceived by an unenthusiastic Zimbabwe horn gection is firstcrowd. This is just as unforturate. The team of Ali, altoist nate because they gave-in :a reDave Petro and tenor Robin Purmarkable performance,leaning ohit work venders with Miles’ mqre toward traditional, mainJean Pierre Randy Brecker’s stream, improv-jazz than preSome Skunk Funk tind The Yel;~;ip~sf.i.~i;m~ p~;i;ies;~~ lowjacket Monmouth College Fight Song. The exceptionally admirably with slightly simplitalented @chardson rollicked fied jazz and bebop standards his way through some virtuoso along the lines of Dizzy Gillespie bass tunes like UZEB’s Penny and Charlie parker, The tight Arcade and Humber One. His band was relaxed and very enterrific version of John Coljoyable. trane’s Giant Steps featured some great rhythmic Hats off to the M&c Society, interpretations of TraneTs clasthe Creative Arts Board and sic, Another crowd-pleaser tvas CKMS for finally putting on a Jaco Pastorius’ Teen Town, reshow of this calibre. All three 1ease.d with Weather Report ten participating acts are destined yeqs before his murder in 1987, for bigger things if their support The only negative feature of increasea; talent is certainly not the show might have been the holding them back. Any one of busyness of the players..Toning these three acts is well worth the down the backing musicians time,

Rename the .Hoodoo Lounge Contest. We’re rockin on in Jan. ‘89with a brand newname.Sinceit’s your bar we think you should name it. If we chooseyour nameyou will win a 3 year passto all upcomingevents! 1

Win a three year pass!

’

.’

-Don’t miss your chance.There’s not much time: Contest endsDecember17th, 1988.To eriter, just handyour entry to your favourite bartender (be sure tO include your name, addressandphonenumber)on or beforeJanuary17th,1988. WE’LL BE

Rockin on with the same Quality of Music F6r 1/2the ,Price!

.THURSDAY NIGHT IS LADIES NIGHT. GUYS: $2.00 COVER CHARGE FOR FRI,& SAT IS $3.00(with exceptions)

COMINGSOON

- _ -

Jan. 5 - 7: Tony Springer Band Jan. 12 - 14: The Phantoms Jan. 19 - 21: Sonny Del Rio Band Jan. 26‘- 28: John -Lewis Feb. 2 - 4: Colin Taylor Band /’ I

Directly above the CJ Lounge at King & Young Streets

in downtown Kitchener d

744-2203

Giant steps to rhythm

Top. Tea Playlist For Nov. 18 - 24 (Polygram) (OS] I. lkichslle Shocked.. . . . . . . Short Sharp Shocked Of’ Millions(CBS] (01) 2. Public Enemy. .* . . . . . 1. It Takes A Nation Green (WEA) (04) 3. REM. .*.......*.*.....~,.,,~~***~,+~~*,*~. Of The Beast (Patois] (oz] 4. hMy Dag Popper. . . . . 668 Neighbor l

(07) 6. Fishbone .*......****..**,...*..+..+ (-1

c-4

7. me Kraulan

(06)

(-1

Variour

8. That

Artirte

Petrol

Cocteau

16. &lk

( ) denotes

last

TII Things

Are

Truth b So&r-(CBS) Brighter (Red Rhino)

. . Century Days (F$nqe] Emotion .@nd Of Millenium Psychosis [Wrgln) .

wiarr..

hb86

. . The

week’s

Importance

position.

. . . . . Blue Bell Knoll (Polygram) OfBeing Nuked (Zen Bones]

imprint,

ARTS

Friday,

December

2, 1988

Lizards Unite! Wat.ch paintings, grow teeth! by Renate Sander-Regisr Imprint staff A Figurative Triad, the intriguing new exhibition at the UW Art Gallery (Modern Languages) features three young Southern Ontario artists: Andrew Rubin of Willowdale, Karen Baltgailis of London, and Andrew Wysotski of Oshawa. Three artists, featured in the third show of the season, Three artists, one for every month .we have been on campus, Andrew Rubin is September, a month in which the term ahead ’ of students appears clear and straightforward. We receive our timetables, course outlines and reading lists; we know exactly what we have to do during the term. Yet there is a note of s’uspense, a haze of mystery, surrounding the end of the term, Rubin’s oil on canvas paintings portray people in realistic forms and colours. Some are very straightforward: a family portrait (Daren Family], a man’s profile (Untitled). Some are subtly mysterious: a chaotic background behind a sorrowful figure (Warm), beige negative space dominating half a painting (John Kennedy), rectangular or oval frames painted on the canvas. We see clearly the subjects of

the paintingrs, rbut we ask oucselves, “WKy that background? Why that negative space? Why that frame?” We can only guess at Rubin’s subtle balancing of clarity and enigma. ’ Where Rubin”s canvasses are subtle and clear, Karen Baltgailis’ pieces are bold and full to the oint of confusion. Baltgailis reii ects October, the month in which work starts to pile up for students. We are confused and

Roughhewn!. Primitive! busy with mid-term exams, eseaya, assignment& etc. Baltgailis’ neo-expressionistic works are lapge, textured, and busy with a variety of human forms and other creatures, Her bold strokes and-shmbre colours (acrylic) mix with rustic burlap to give her canvasses a coarse, roughhewn, primitive look. Some of her pieces are definitely reminiscent of ancient art. An&t Powers shows a large, white, bull-like animal. and a small, white, human-like form with ah unmistakable erection. Shade Place depicts a deity-like character and a salamander, while Rite of Spring portrays creatures worshipping a crucified, Christ-like figure. Fascinat-

ing imagery: intriguing symbolism. With Andrew Wysotski we return to oils and look ahead into one of the new, innovative directions of visual art: computerization. Wysotski’s oil paintings and their electronic counterparts, skillfully hung side by side, are November: a month in which students start to look b9ck on everything they have learned throughout the term and compress it into study form for exams. Wysotski first produces the oil painting. Then he transfers the image to the computer where he manipulates colours and shapes to make the computer image closely resemble the painting. I In his paintings, Wysotski uses vivid colours to create energetic and active scenes. In Evening, a canvas showing a man playing the piano, small strokes of lively green, blue, orange and pink create a fluid, moving background. Rainwater depicts a bright pinky-green human silhouette sitting in a shelter while outside a bucket collect a, most likely, rainwater; The Gift II portrays vividly-coloured human figures exchanging a gift. While the colours are bright and sharp, both of these paintings are soft, gentle and poignant. I must admit, however, that I

by Andrew Rubln “Untitled” (don’t this l&k like JFK?) prefer Wysotski’s computer vertists is completed: with A Flguraims tothe oil paintings; The coative Triad, the UW Art louts and the contrasts of the Gallery’s year is completed. The electronic, images are stronger. exhibition runs until Dec. 18, Even in their compressed form, Take a break from exams to drop the computer paintings are most in and see it. You will be ineffective With Wysatski, the triah of ar- - trigued.

Vikings of Video by Kevin Cogliano D&vim Imprint staff

and

Oliver

OK, all you follcs in television land, the Gruesome Twosome are back with three more vi.deo reviews, but first, B word to our loyal readers of ox& week so far. Our last article was apparently sabotaged by persons unknown, (HI!!! II% ME, TREVOR BLAIR, HAPPY ARTS EDITOR. AI&HOUGH I CANNOT cwrIl46 ~~~SPONSIBILITY FOR LAST -S EDITING, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT MY EVIL MINIONS CORRECTLY EXECUTED MY DESIRES. I HAVE IMPRISONED ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IN My DARK DOMAIN AND WILL RATION THEM ACCORDING TO MY WILL AND MY WILL ALONE. BEWARE.) who viciously ripped out all of the capital lettering that was supposed to be in it. So, if this week’s article still doesn’t have any capital lettering, yoti will know that ia is the evil result of some communist insurgents (HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!) attemptirig to devalue the impact of our dead-on-targti vidviews. So don’t let your personal freedom be infringed fight back with the Vikings!!! Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Cola 1iIUB This is a’ blatant attempt by the ever-oil$,I%abul&% Phil to garner our favour by putting the word groovy in the title! Well, it won’t work! In thir video, taken from his mw waste of oellulaid Buster, Phil is in an abandoned warehouse [visiting the unsold copies of his album, I suppose) watching lots o’ scenes from the flick on a movie screen, while smoking ‘a cigarette and looking dour. There is lots of cool lighting effect-s and Phil with slicked back hair in a vain and, well, silly attempt to look artsy-fartey - lo and behold it doesn’t work! What a surprise! However, all that we kept thinking about, throughout the whole blip, was how much Phil’s head reeembles

an egg! It’s actually quite frightening, really, Anyway, the video is actually quite lame, which makes a berlect match to his audio sled that he calls a solo career! Rating: Dangerously UNCOOL Rush Hour - Jeae Waidlen The following are good point! about this video: one (1) cool guitar, lots and lots of water- [which actually made us feel the urgent need to urinate), lots of stibmersible mammals, i.e. dolphins, and a cute ex-Go-Go member singing a cute song in a cute w .ay, The following are the bad points: there is nothing really offensive to grab the jaded vid-iiewers attention. So, I guess it’s groovy in’ a non-offensive wa‘y, which is too bad, ‘cause with the interesting ingredients of large fish and cute wet women it could’ve * really been sick!!! * Reting: GROOVY, but just ,BAREly (get it?) AN53 NOW, A SPECIAL GOLDEN OLDIE yI&FR%VIEW!!! Crevice Tool*Buff if you haven’t seen this video, then-widen your horizons. Banff is an indie Gancl from the Canadas. This video at first glance, would seem to be about this housewife who lost her attachment to her vacumm cleaner. So, she searches frantically around the house for it, until she dives into her swimming pool, emerging with the dripping wet device, at which point it becomes really obvious what the song is actually on about, “Crevice tool” would apparently have multitudes of meanings, most of which are much too graphic to diqcusa in a paper that g&s let? ters about the wilfull destruction of rodents on album covers. So, if you want a full discussion, complete with slides, from either ‘or preferably both of the Viking Vid Vfiwers, send a self-addressed atamped envelo e to 20 Dietz Ave, South, Water P00, and will be happy to assist you, and hey, we’ll even spring for the JELL-O!!! Rating: Classically GROOVY.

We didn’t mean td bug ya! ’ by John Ryan Imprint staff 1.

is the Apart.

A World Apart -playing from tonight ‘till Tuesday, December 6 at the Princess -is an ace film. It -examines the price a family pays for the parents’ activism. ?hi film focuses on la-year-old Molly Roth coming to terms with her parents’ crusading against Apartheid in the early sixties.

Hip,: happe.nin.gs

Some

Her father leaves to go into exile in the first scene, his wife and daughters have to deal with the consequences of his being branded a traitor. It goes from bad to worse when Diana Roth is imprisoned without trial under. the g&Day Detention Act, Molly atid her sisters are ostracized by tMir neighbors and friertd,@or.’ reasons they don’t fully understand. While those around them close their eyes and accept the unacceptable, the Roths can’t roll over and be quiet and still stay true to themselves,

lynchpin festive.

of Princess

tions: the Cannee International Advertising Festival, Dec. 13-18; Sorcerdss, Dec. 8-31. and many, many mo,re fine flicks,

attrac-

, ening, Andrew Cash paye Phil’s a visit. The following night Jane’8 Ad- ’ And so another term draws to diction is at the Diamond in Toronto. I’ll be there if my petition, a close. What is this my tenth? sucAnyways there’s fun gal&e in . - to drop a certain .course ceeds. For sgre I,,!1 be attending the pipes for those ponces w-ho the Sons Of -d&m appearance don’t have any finals, Tonight at Phil’s on the Ded. 14. ..-: the Glen Chatten Band is gonna In a Christmas vein, the Can&:: devastate the Grad House with dian Brass will rock the Center”. tunes from their LP, Running in the Square to its very‘founda-i Away From Life Again. Tomortions on Dec. 20. If you’re not up:, COW, the Research Monkeye are to that;:3lue Rodeo are playing; in the Bomber. Marcel M~meau . Sib it ‘ihe Cent&r fn the Squa& o~Q t&ip molation round at Stage@ that same night. the December 7. On that very ev-

PLANS

FOR

THE

‘YOUR

BECOME

SECOND

JOB

OPPORTUNITIES

BILINGUAL.

now for the second semester in French at Universit6 Sainte-Anne. LearII t0 Fr.en~h _ at this small ‘u’niversity. (300 in a rural French community (population along St* Mary’s Bay in Nova Scotia,.% Because of and -dedicated staff this immersion program is

considered by many as the best in available year round. Write or phone for more information immersion programs or long-term

Iubitul th

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SEMESTER?

: spea.k

‘Bonita

World

by J. M. Ryan Imprint staff

ENHANCE Barbara Hershey gives a fine performance as a mother torn between her principles and her family. But the stellar per formance by newcomer rodhi May

Nova

Scotia) ’

/&z

our

review them together? ‘Cause I’m lazy, that’s why! I’ve gotta get them both done, and I don’t feel like doing two reviews. So there. First up, then, is Blue Be11 Knoll. I am convinced the Cocteau Twins can do no wrong; they have once again succeeded in producing one of the most beautiful and near-perfect albums of the year. Running a close second to 1984’s Treasure as the Twins best release (and closing in with every listen), Blue Bet1 Knoll is a flawless effort. There are, of course, the usual complaints that “it all sounds the same,” and it’s true that a lot of Cocteau material does souhd similar. However, your humble reviewer must argue that the Cocteau sound has expanded with this release, most notably with some interesting keyboard and organ work. Thei production, ‘88 alwa 8, is exclellent. This ‘is music ma 8 e for digital sound, so i-t seems rather fitting that Knoll is one of the first albums in the Western Hemisphere to be released on DAT. Simon Raymonde andRobin Guthrie continue tti create perfect backdrops of sound for Elizabeth Fraser s angelic voice. Tracks such as Athol-Brose and A Kissed Out Red Floatboat display, Fraser’s ability to use her

. Already, ‘,gentle reader, you must be wondering: “What’ the hell is Cloy trying to pull, reviewing -the Cocteau Twins and the Banshees in the same arti‘cle?” 76, these two bands have kittIe in. common, except that they’re both from the UK and haire female vocalists. So why

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voice not instrunient, ‘ .

as a voice” but as an creating sounds that

mesh with the music in a way no normal vocals could. . burden buf Jettison itself is ‘a pleasure to listen to. Yes a veritable treasure trove of ‘punk’ gems. Ooops, seems we don’t say that word too much anymore. But this isn’t thrash, trash or skate - neither hardcore nor metal, No my friends this is a mid-tempo guitar heavy punk rock record, That’s not to say it’s a throwback or the Rayguns are stuck in the past - this album seems. as fresh as an April shower. It just catches me a bit. by surprise.

by John Ryan Imp&t staffOk ‘so it’s been out for a while, but someone has got to review it, Whoa! Looks‘like I’m making this out to be an onerous chore. WeI1, writing this crap is bind of a

It’s almost a novelty to hear this stuff played straight, without gimmicks or artifice. They even cover Stiff Little Fingers’ Suspe.ct Device, for gosh sakes. What’s more they actually kick

The fina word, then, is BUY THIS ALBUM! And for those of you who go for the good 01’ vinyl format, hurry, ‘cause the limited edition gatefold sleeve is really neat-o! Meanwhile, there’s the latest Siouxsie and the Banshees release, Psepshow. By now, pretty well everyone knows the Ieadoff single, Peek-a-Boo, a dmce oriented piece of pop music that has had the hell played out of it at dance clubs. There is no other Bek-a-Boo on the album, how- %Ner. In fact, nothing on this @btirn sounds like anything else on the album, which is good. No!e of the songs’on this album are really bad, either, which is good. It’s not spectacular, but it’s a. great piece of pop, and definitely the best of Siouxsie’s last couple of efforts. England has already seen two more singles pulled off of Peepshow (The Killing Jar and the exdellent Last Beat of my-Heart), and other tracks could easily fdllow. All in all, a strong e’ffdrt. * Besides (here’s where I compare the albums, folks!), even if it doesn’t reach the Cocteau Twins musically, it’s got a nicer cover. some life into the hoary old relic. .. But of course Iattiaon. isn’t without its problems. One song, CoIdbringer is truly cringeinrorthy. The lyrics .are based on the Dark Knight Returns comic - if you haven’t read the book you’ll be puzzled, if you have you’ll be embarrassed - it’s that bad. The Rayguns play it smart, they keep it short and avoid wearing out their welcome. After all that was one of the things I didn’t like about ‘punk’ - it tended to linger like the rotting corpse of a self-important house guest. Jettison may be short on quantity but mak8d”up for it with some quality tuneage.

BAND NIGHT

With the New Wave Sound of

TRIBAL SON

Featuring music from The Cult, The Alarm, U2, & Chalk Circle Coming December 15th: IO S@concb over Tokyo NO COVER TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY

-ALSO

AT THE GRAND-

Twin Feature Week! Someone

FLEX APPEiL

& AMBER DAWN

Runner-up World

I ~

88Miss- 89Nude

Chained

please

squish

our

back [apparently, T’Pau- was al&ady taken) is loud and they sing about sex and orgasms and fucking and they’re really quite violent about it. Utopia’s Rundgren, however, has sanitized and sterilized the Happy’s blistering sound; he has castrated and sucked the soul right out of them to make Love Iunk palatable to middle America and MUZAK. First two grooves, Hard to Lauigh and Ten Fingers are re-

Fantasies

Showlima.: 12:30, 5:00, 9:oa 11:30.

COMING: DEC. 12 to ‘BATnE OF THE BLONDES Featuring: CHERR

by Peter

Imprint

Kltchener 7 44-6368

heads

miniscent

Dedea

staff

High-priced Todd Rundgren manipulates the strings for MCA’s new marionettes, The Pursuit of Happiness and their debut album, Love Junk. The concert

version

of TPOH

lest

year’s

Bour-

geois Tagg release, YoYo also produced by Rundgren. Seventh harmonies and’ dominant and diminished chords all crunched together are BT’s style as they draw from Ameridan jazz history. Bui TPOH? They don’t even know who Charlie Parker is.

Lead singer, Moe Berg is ugly aitd also an aashole, The band signed with WEA to di.stribute their first single, I’m An Adult Now in a one shot deal. Berg’s insatiable demands led to WEA booting Happiness out of the nest and into the real world. Side two’s female backing vocals are repulsive, smelling like the fish you inadvertently dropped into the vegetable crisper last month and found last Saturday. Finally,

the

front

cover

ia an

inf6rior (budget) version of the Duranie’s, Big Thing, missing the funky colours and different type faces. Thank the daemons that be there wereno lyric sheets inside as The Pursuit of Happiness challenge BLVD. in the Pursuit Of the Juno for stupidest band ever.

RECOR-D REVIEWS

Imprint, friday, December 2, 1988

1’

Sensitive

1. 2. 3. ‘; 4. 5.

by Andy Koch Imprint staff On their second. release, Tdronto’s Sudden Impact add the@ two and a haif cents worth to tk endless onslaught of rnerchEtndise from Fringe Product records. Split Personality, not surprisingly, sees the boys indulging in some basic, hardcore, metal and rock’n’roll. The band has all the patented playing styles down pat, The production too, is admirable. It avoids the annoying over-production that ruins many an #album in this genre, while remaining loud and clear, The trouble with this disc is that it is simply not very interesting. The band has a problem stretching beyond the standard power chords, the monotone vocals and the mundane songwriting.

by Peter Stathopolis Imprint staff

Waiting

for

the funnel

Luckily, a few tracks transcend the mediocrity. Trapped provides a course in Riffing 101 and does so in an efficacious manner. Tight Rope succeeds as a tight, chugging, rock’n’roll tune that thankfully never degenerates into thrash the way most other songs do. The best track, Skin of My Teeth, benefits from a torrid pace that leaves all the slow metallic riffing behind. The best reason for purcha5 ing this album is that it is lisfenable;unlike in a live setting, where the Sudden Impact is simply too fast and intense to digest. So if you can handle some metal in your musical diet, you should consider picking up a copy of Split Personality, If not, avoid it at all costs,

The Scottish quartet have given up their bag-pipe guitars for rock’n’roll cliches. Peace In Our Country is the fourth release and it attempts to deconstruct the myth that, has growri around Big Country. Problem is that they’ve replaced their own myth with that of the collective music industry. Peace In Our Time drags along with the industry standard: distorted chord progressions, spacey special effects, and -predictably repetitive and monosyllabic choruses such as Give us peace in our time. Even bandleader, Stuart Adamson, can be heard to experiment’ with his fragile voice, straining it to

simpering impact ,

sound

It’s the music that counts, however, and this music scores an “A” for effort, but a “C” for achievement.

mental meltdown legitimate

by Chris Wodekou Imprint staff

The dull

the points of audible pain. ^ With this album, BC have become transparent, blending into the forest of popular rock. Consider the first single, King of Emotion which could be performed by any rock band, from Lynyrd Skynyrd to Giprs Tiger. It certainly doesn’t sound anything like Big Country, that’s for sure. BC have miraculously transformed themselves into committed internationalists. As agenjs of world’ unity, they launched the new album at the Soviet Embassy in London and began their world tour behind the Iron’Curtain, all fpr the sake of raising awareness and support for perestroika, This politicking has become pompous lately with god-bands like UZ lecturing their audiences and flooding the media with self-righteous gestures, Hard to tell whether BC are serious or not, For that matter, hard to tell whether the music industry is serious or not. How many singer-saints does it take to make a fashion?

’

It would be rash to call The Lyre& a bunch. of wimps. Previous albums On Fyrs and Lyres Lyre8 are first-rate garage fare replete with wailing organs, screaming guitars, and Jeff. Conolly’s howling from the very pits of Hell. Songwritirig, likewise, has never been a big worry, and A Promise Is A Promise has, no shortage of fine garage nuggets - Here’s A Heart, Everyman For Himself, 1% Try You Anyway, She’s Got Eyes, and-Trying Just To Please I You all have the raunchy, addictive sixties organ-and- grungy-guitar feel of earlier Lyres classic%, but when you have a song like Worried About Nothing that sounds like The Housemartins not, exactly rock ‘n’ roll mons terp i you have

grounds

for concern.

Maybe all those.years of constant gigging and booze-hazy nights spent kneeling in front of the crapper have finally taken their toll on Conolly’s mighty vocal chords. I don’t know, but the man infamous for puking on his drummer and for reducing sound systems to short-circuiting tangles of wiring with one scream, just doesn’t have it on this outing. Songs that you can imagine shaking the rafters live have no bite, having b.een thoroughly . declaw@ by Richard Harte’s unforgivably anemic productian., >+Qd the live. stuff, covers of Touch (with JVally Tux) and The Sonics’ skull-busting classic, The Witch is even worse, sounding like bootlegs recorded by a Waikman whose microphone was concealed by hiding it in someone’s mouth. Ingrate that 1 am, though, I’ve totally neglected to mention not only that this is the first Lyres release available at a domestic price, but. also- the bonus disc, including chestnuts like Cinderella and a smouldering live version of Lyres’ monstrous She Pcfys The Rent. You can’t really go wrong with this one, but that handful of Lyres fanatics roaming the streets will almost inevitably be disappointed. r

Yucky Stinky Nummy Swell

Wqrm und Sn

how many bands would have resisted the temptation to follow up on the success of something like Lo Bamba with a whole album of roadhouse rock and Richic Valens covers? Perverse grkaseballs that they are, Los Lobes have given ,the ~ music biz a royal thumb on the nose with La Pistola y El Coraaan, a record as true to their _’ Tex-Mex roots as 1983’s Amd A T~~To Durce. Sung entirely in Spanish, the album’s language barrier is sure I to alienate some by Chris Wodskou neoph te fans [although SpanImprint ‘staff ish di B n’t pose much of a problem on La Bamba); however, Lu All you have to do to figure out - PistoJa could do for traditional . an essential element of music Tex-Mex folk what The, Pogues that’s missing from the vast, did for Celtic folk. with nary .an puking majority of popular elec#ric guitar in earshot, this music is turn on the telly to album trades in the conventional MuchMusic ur EIectric Circus or rock structures and production some such show where middle values -of By the T&ht of the class kids are bopping away to Moon for the feel of lazy, humid their favourite, three-minute, evening, front-porch-strumming beatbox-and-synthesizer odes to or the frenzied stages of a Mexiescapism and partying. Gimme can wedding reception. Accoran ‘I’, gimme an ‘N’, gimme a. ‘T’, dions and violins strut around a gimme an ‘E’, gimme a ‘G’, gimme roaring fire like painted gypsies, an ‘R’, gimme an ‘I’, gimme a “F’, and.you wonder why Cellar and gimme a ‘Y’ - whaddaya got?!? the lads ever took.a break from Yeah, integrity, an increasthis music. . ingly rare commodity in the Some will no doubt sneer at Lo music community, not to menPistoIa and look upon Los Lobos tion our otin country as of last as a bunch of wetback.chumps Monday. Something I had feared playing goofy music that beLos Lobos would have sold down longs in the Mr. Grocer 9% rack. the Rio Grande themselves Let ‘em laugh.

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Sat. 9

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. 32

Imprint,

Friday,

December

2, 1988

ARTS

6n, human death

Technology’seffect by Trwor Blair Imprint 8t aff

A small handful of the curious attended the first presentation by The Reality Mutation League - on Tuesday. The league, namely Garry Peterson, exhibited two videos by Survial Rese_arcb Laboratories - a group of potentially satanic engineers who have constructed a warehouse of mechanical destruction devices; an evil hospital bed equipped with long clawed arms and. a

twelve-foot shock-wave cannon were two of my favourites. 8RL was founded in 1978 by Mark Pauline. His works or hapenings have been documented E y Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, ReSearch magazines, and by SRL’e own line of videocassettes. Working mainly in the San Francisco Bay area (although they recently returned from a European tour), they have expanded and challenged the boundaries of normal’ behaviour, laughing at the multinationals who could easily make these’ guys millionaires. The first film Virtues of Negative Fescination documents five mechanized performances between 1985 -1a80. Interspliced with some, at timesidiotic, inter-

from page 25

Bearded -;Qwarf

Landscape of destruction

Continued

Mark

Pauline

reveals

where

view footage, SRL createdlandscape after landscape of destruction, Calling cards with slogans such as Call the truth an insult. to avoid accepting it ae a fact, Radiate influences of despair and defeat wherever you go, and Demand undewrved rewards littered the brdken ground. One show in New York City featured a stainless steel Walking Machine carrying a flamethrower and was occasion-

w e got the

new

rating

ally operated by board guinea pig. states, is “the trained to operate

guide.

%tu” the tinStu, as Pauline only animal that machine.:’

An earlier video A Scenic Harvest From’ The Kingdom Of Pain, which documents SRL’s triumphs between '83 and '84 consisted of three “destruction shows,” This compilation was a bit better than the first, with its re-animated dead animals and

the contribution ’ celebrityMonte

of SF artist Cazazza.

and

The primary interest that technology holds for Pauline and SRI, is its effects on the nature of human death. Prepare yourself for future presentations by RML - the most interesting thing on campus.

certainly admirable, such circumstances might not be related very closely to literature, He then took the opportunity to comment on the “very strong influence on Canada to become part of a sort of NoTth American Davies believes conglomerate.” Canadians have a different psychological basis, background and outgrowth..Because of such differences, Davies is wary of cultural free trade, although he never once used the words free tradi,’ Perhaps Canadians are but will the Nobel endangered... committee recognize us!?! Someone.wants to know about his creative process. “Yoq make it sound so grand! It is&, ‘it’s what’s bred in the bone.” Davies went on to tell of the “newspaper family” he grew up in and how writing came so naturally to him, it didn’t occur to him until he was twelve that others couldn’t write well or at all. His arents -were word loving peop Pe, insistent on grammar drilling, and delighted in gossip.

“all the news unfit to print”

These characteristics all had. an effect on Davies, most notably on his humour where he became aware of the complexity, largeness and strangeness of human life. His family would bring to the dinner table “all the news unfit to print!” Another voice wondered if, after writing a novel, Davies men tally killed the characters. “No, they are very much alive.” Davies said he continued to Usten to what the characters had to tell him, but couldn’t possibly continue writing about them forever because “people get bored!” Whereas last week’s reading b Timothy Findley was a comp r ete tale, Davies’ selection drew the crowd in; only to leave us stranded, flailing for a copy of the novel for ‘ourselves. Woodsworth books kindly provided a well-stocked oasis in the lobby andDavies gladly retired to autograph copies. A fine, clever, and at the very least, historical reading by a great man.

Warriors, Voile ybalf

Unbeaten! Uncontested! IN YOiiiJR FACE!

Waterloo Guelph

Warriors Invitational

illustrious volleyball tourney tast weekend# .

by Glenb

Haus;.

Imprint staff

The first half of the OUAA volleyball season came to an end last Thursday, Novetiber 24, with the Waterloo Warriors defeating the Windsor Lancers 3-0 to run their unblemished record to 6-O. The Warriors, however, did not utterly‘ d&troy the Lancers as they should have, coming out flat in the first two \ games before finally deciding-to play the calibre of volleyball expetted of them. It is a long road trip to Windtar, some three to four hours of cramped legs on a modern $150,000 coach. The mood was exuberant, confident, somewhat lackadaisical. Playing the lowly Lancers was not gbing to present any serious problems. Even with both of the starting power hitters out of the lineup. Unfortunately for Waterloo, having two starters missing kept the Warriors off balance for the better part of the match. Team assing was not up to par, their E itting was “hyperactive” with many “phisers” sailing, past the *end-line,

team in action at See story, page 34. by Qhfl Hauer _ pilob /

With their backs a@inst the -wall 10-6 in the opening,game+ Waterloo’s incomparable Grasshopper, Windsor’s hometown hero Dave Shum [he’s actually from the metropolis of Blenheim, where his family “serves” up the best Chinese food around) came in to serve. Shum is renowned throughout the OUAA for his tough float serve. This float serve proved to be Windsor’sdownfall, as the Grasshopper w-as in there for nine straight points. Waterloo 15, Windsor 10. There were a few adoring fans in the crowd lamenting the fact that Shum went to school so far away from home. A bright spot in the hitting and

Uhbelieveable! passing departments was middle player Scott Smith. Nevertheless, mental lapses in the second game cost the Warriors nine points. Windsor took Waterloo down to their level once again. The .Warriors were looking a little lazy on the court, obviously uninsp,ired. Waterloo still won the game 15-9, A grim-faced Rob Atkinson surprised the Wa’terloo players as they walked off the court in the sedond game. Speaking in a sharp tone of voice, the angry coach tixclaimed, “Let’s get in there and play some volleyball. You’re lazy, you’re walking around. Le’t’s do sowe hitting, 8 ome passing, _ some blo@ng. Get going, you’re playing like a I

Another

smash

pile of dung.“’ It was all business in the deciding third game. T&king only ten minutes, the Warriors diaposed of the Lancers 15-2 to take the match. An eager bunch- of volleyball players piled out of the bus half-an-hour later into Windsor’s version of Casey’s Roadhouse for a celebratory malt-based beirerage, The\ lengthy t&p back consisted of an excitng card game, “UNO,” and discussion of the coming tournament in Guelph starting the next day. Waterloo’s next regular season game is not until the new year, against Brock on January 10th at 8 pm in the PAC. ,

title

Three in a-row! The Watqloo Athenas squash juggernaut added another title tu their hardware chest last weekend, The Athenas took their own OWIAA Weat .-division squash tourney, held hare at Waterloo, edging second place Western, 13 points to l2. The tourney title was Waterloo’s third in as many tries. After Waterloo and Western, h&Master finished third with five points and a much improved Laurier team came close in as many matches but were unable to score a point. Louise Waite, playing number one, Diane Lee, number two, and Liana Copper, nuFb& five, continued their winning ,ways and are still k undefeated this year.

Diane Hutchison, at number three, lost one match having difficulty adjusting to the North American courts (Hutchison usually plays on international courts which is the proper court for the softball game of squash). Sandy Brundle lost only one match, to a very strong Western number four, Natalie Weber, who has also played number one for the Mustangs on occasion. Diane Knebel, playing number six is having an illuatrious season, and lost only oqe match this weekend. g The Athenas will be exchanging their racquets for pens as exams draw near. The season opens again Januaqy 21 at McMaster. I

I Warriors battle York, to sister-kisser by Peter

De&s

Imprint staff

After last weekend’s pond &tion, the York.Yeomen own first place in the dUAA Central division. On Sunday afternoon, York tied Waterloo 2-2 to take a three-point edge over Western and four points over the ‘War- riors.

Bishop held them in Period one in Sunday’s game saw the submissive Warriors astanding around in their ow.n .zone, watcliing Mike Bishop keep them in the game. Again, the Warriors allowed the opposition unobstructed passage over the blueline. Clint Ellicott missed his chance to put UW up front, ringing the post on a artful pass from Steve Linseman. Both -t+tis I looked like ,..Zhey -‘were skat!@# i-n mortiseal, as:‘th& play we$j$0i+r+oli9. &MI placid. . b, .

Special’teams Jamid McKee looked to spark his club, smearing the Yeomen’s Randy ‘Walker along the centre ice boards, Captain John Goodman proved the value of a shot at the net from any ,angle. He lateralled in front of the . crease frbm deep in the.corner. A deflection off a York leg went in with 1217 elapsed in the period. The Yeomen tallied their first of the match on the powerplay. For the first minute and a half of the penalty, the Warriors played a disciplined, aggressive box, /keeping York from any serious scoring ,chances* The penaltykillers gave up the blue stripe on ’ a York offensive thrust allowin :* the Yeomen to penetrate an if Panic the Warrior defenstie

sputter

in time of need

to the ice with four skaters apiece on carryover penalties. Todd Coulter took early control of the offensive endboards, corralling the puck and centering it for two excellent opportunities. The York Ye-omen special teams picked up goal number two orI the man-advantage. Again,, the; Warrior defense gift wrappecj’the blueline and gave it to York for Christmas as the powerilay penetrated the zone. The quck was left for Randy W &er at the top of the circle w 4 o exploded it by Bishop at

fk39.

The Warriors were able to score an even-strength marker at ll:OQ, Relentless forechecking and mucking resulted in the puck slipping out to Dan Tsandelis on the front porch who whipped the puck past Popp on -assists from Ken Buitenhuis alid Chris Glover . The following UW powerplay was as pathetic as the first. With no one skating to open ice, the squad was unable to gather momentum as York sewed up centre ice to keep the Warriors regrouping.

Both teams looked like they were skating in molasses as the play was ponderous and placid.

td score on the powerplay coach Don McKee stated, “It’s a credit to their (York’s) good penalty killing.” Shots on goal showed the Warriors tgking .territorial control in the second, 13-11 with York going z-for-3 on the powerplay.

-’ . Shed Sloth’s Skins Aft& the second interinission, the Yeomen and the Warriors shed their sloths’ skins and un- ’ fettered their skate blades to shear the freshly scraped ice, The McKee, Fennel, Coulter combination looked for the goahead goal early, pressuring York in their own end with pugnacious mucking in the corners. Waterloo carried the play with their superior skating but continued to be undiscipline,d in clearing the zone leavie York wjth worthy. scoring oppbrtuni-. ’ ties. ._ , -

Imprint,

Friday,

De&mber-

SPORTS

2, lb@%&

Settle for third

V-ball Warriors meet match in Guelph I .

by Glenn Hauer Imprint staff No sooner had the Waterloo Warriors volleyball team crawled off the bus from Windsor the previous evening than they had to get right back up and into the thick of things. The Guelph Invitational is a l&team tournament, with a guarantee of three games. Being a strong side, Waterloo’s volleyballers were in for a tiring set of matches from Borne top calibre competition. Last weekend, three tough American teams travelled up to this side of the border to show Canada what they’re made of. Defending champion Ohio State did not return this year, but Ball State - fourth’in the ’ NCAA’8 last year - with a BUperb setter from Toronto by the

name of Chrie Cooper, was expected to cause a few headaches. Indiana Purdue is also ranked, and the U.S. Naval Academy is a young team rumoured to be full of talent. *

Wdk with

cockhm

Ranked fifth in Canada, the York University Yeomen have five hittere, including national team pla er Bill Kni ht who can jam wit 5; thhe8t bf ~hem.They wd E rround with a cockinem that sxud88 a desire ttj stufianybody they play. Rounding out the top teams were the Waterloo Warriors, ranked ninth in Canada. This tournament was a chance to play against some quality cumpetition, something that i8 quite lacking in the OUAA this year, The “plan” ~88 to meet Bail State in the semifinal, advancing to play York in the find. Waterloo’s opening match was again8 t the fairly tall Ryerson Rams. The tone for this one was set right at the beginning. A nice ass to setter Tony Martins, folPowed by a qu@c up to middle hitter

Steve

Waterloo scheme ot’ thing8 and would haunt them for the rest of the weekend. Defence, as well as a multitude of serving errors, cost the Warriors. The third game against Ryersqn 8aw a variety of mental mistake8 that can be ccmsidered “unforced.” Moreover,any substitutions disturbed the “synof the team. chronicity” Suddenly, it wa8 13-11 for the lowly Rams. A timeout call by coach Rob Atkinson got Waterloo’s players into a businesslike frame of mind. The Warriors buckled down and served up the next four points; finally disposing of Ryerson 15-13 to win the match 3-o. Playing with a slight “twinge demonin hi8 leg,” Martins strated hi8 setting ability to the fullest when Waterloo thrashed Queen’s in the second round.

Taking all three games by score8 of 15-5,

15-6, and 15-3; Waterloo

looked likeit was ready to chatlenge for the championship. Brian Damman and the Smith brothers had their best match of: the weekend against’ Quesn’s. Hitting was sim ly “swesomd’ to watch. Midd Pe hitter- Steve Heck also showed. that hmtle certainly ays off, as he moved back and Porth’along the net with a superior blocking performance. Nevertheleer, mental lapes~ uq 4~. part of .the. warriors caused Atkinson come concern. The in!ensit leve1 was not 88 high ’31s’ I Ii z e if.” Edited cumment8 from the side!inaa ‘included: ‘YQu’v~ got to work for this one!” “‘Let’s heai some chetter out tier&, it’s too quiet, f don’t care if you 8wear at each other, say something!” Atkinson wa8 particularly pleased with the-consistent and smart hitting performance of offside Lech Bekeeza.

Force to be reckoned with

Heck who put it “He proved to everyone here down with authority, earned.the that he is a force to be reckoned Warrior8 their first sideout. An with, hitting the ball high over explosive stuff block by Lech Be-9 the net and with power. Simply kesza,on the next point deflated outstanding.” any hopes Ryerson may have “However, we’ve got to realize had. in our minds that we can beat a Some I.“M cia;ion-set ting by team that is our equal, We havti Martins resulted in a varied atto go tin to the court knowing tack with exciting hitting. The that t-he other side has no chance Warrior8 3ominated the Rams, . of beating us. There were Borne taking the first two games 15-3 uninspired effort8 today, I’m tryand 15-5. However, some wea-, ing to figure, out how to get our knesses were apparent in the team to gel into a confident

bunch a guys filled with the necessary killer instinct.” As expected, Ball States and York made it into the semi-finale. The difference between American and Canadian teams was made lapparent in this tourney, especially in the Ball StateWestern and York-Indiana Purdue matches. Mental -toughness and defensive desire were a trademark of the top US. players. The\ Western Mustangs were up iti all three of their game8 against the Cardinals, reaching 11 points before the opposition and taking what seemed to be an insurmountable lead. Not 80; as the ICardinals cut down their errors to nil and dug up some balls destined for the roof. Western became overanxious in their deaire to finish off the games. The frustrated Mustengs fell to the American8 3-0, failing in their attempt to meet Waterloo in the first semifinal.

Meanwhile, the physically falented York-side destroyed Indiana Purdue 15-1 in their opening game. The Warrior coach noted that “these state-side teams take it persori;a~~ wheh they get thumped Ii E e that.. Indian8 , F’urd+will not roll over and die

.in the nut

One.”

Indeed they didn’t, and the next game. wae ptobebly ?he meet exciting of the ent@ tournament. The Yeomen knew they were in a fight this time. Fan support was definitely ia favour’ of the Mastodons, as the wanted to see the cocky Yor E side fall into miserable defeat. Unfortunately, a couple of bad breaks and a few questionable call8 by the umpire diffused Purdue’s

momentum

in the end,

a8 they lost a heartbreaker

19-

17. They kept fighting anyway. Indiana took the third game from the Yeomen 15-11 before finally tiring and succumbing to the high flying York side in the fourth, 15-g. It was a gritty display of tough volleyball. -The scene was now set:fWaterloo VB. Ball State in one semifinal, followed by York vs. + McMaster. The Marauders

posed a problem for York, playing red-hot head8 for

volleyball the most

over their part. They

took a game from the Yeomen, but were just too weak, losing the match 3-1. Atkinson had a few thing8 to say about the Cardinals before their confront ation, “In our series of matches with them over the past few years, the record is 2-1 in favour of our side, I’m sure their coach ia telling their player8 this, they will be gunning for UB. Ball State is

very

consistent,

strong men-

tally. They don’t ,make many mistakes and Cooper, their setter, is excellent. Our players must cut down on their errors, no mental lapses, when we get a

lead.”

In the first that Waterloo

game,

it seemed

wa8 sure’to dominate the entire match. Impressive blocking by middle player8 Scott Smith and Steve Heck, combined with some inspired hitting, and the game was 8oon over. It was Z5-7infavour of Waterloo.

Certainly

encouraging

the entourage of Warrior volleyball fan8 on hand. From that point on, it wa8 evident that the pressure exerted by the Cardinals on the Warriors was something they were certainl not used to. Atkinson note B1>“We ’ roved tpday that. if you put’ preP sure on this team,

was match point. Don’t let these guy8 get into it.” Waterloo didn’t give up. Some determined defense and hitting’ and it was 13-1~ The momentum and emotion of the match seemed to be swinging towards Waterloo. However, it was not to be. Two mental letdowns led to two consecutive service aces by the Cardinals: the match was suddenly over, and Atkinson was not a happy man. Atkinson was more upset by the fact he wanted to play in at least two quality matches over the weekend. York was a team that definitely needed a beating. Preferably, of course, by his own team, the Waterloo Warriors. In a more light-hearted moment later on, he said, “We can warm u with the best of them, I love aP1 of the roofing done during hit-

ting practice.” As it wa8, biterloo faced &Master in the anticlimactic third place game. The Marauders played

very well and kept the

games close, but the Warrior8 swept them aside with victories of 15-8, 15-12, and 15-9. The York Yeomen were the beet team on this particular day. Ball State war tired, laying tough but not hard enoug R to defeat York. The Yeomen have the

athletic ability to make u for r we’re beatabIe.‘c Team passing wa8 weak A variet of hitting thdir mistakes. They rove B it in errors by the Water Too players the final, winning t%8 tourna-_ and the match WWFthan :2-l in ’ meat witha sodefeat of the Carfavour of .tde Cardinals. Two &&ilS. game8 by tb identical scores of ‘- Waterloo didn’t miss out on &l 15-a. thrr TIhardwaret however. Mar-*’ Would the W&r&s ~fold an’d I, tina, with his devastating serve, won the coveted Beet Server throw away the next game? At one point in the fourth game, it award. Heck, named athlete of was 13-8 for Ball State. The’ were playing great defense, Ba Y1 State’s coach W&J urging hi8 cohontinuad oil page138 harts

to play “every

point

a8 if it

Imprint,

gPokiS

Friday,

December

2, 1988

Warriors stagger through Wild iweekend i by Mike McGraw Imprint staff

wait’ on 401. takes

Three-hour

-Forget that the Waterloo Warriors basketball team dropped two of three games at the National Invitational Tournament held at the Unive’rsity of Toronto ’ last weekend. Never mind that they were slammed in the third place game by UUAA West division riy’als, the McMaster Marauders. The Warriors were just happy to get there,

Happy to get there Travelling to Hogtown last Thursday afternoon for a 4 p.m. opening round encounter with the Dalhousie Tigers, the Warriors suddenly found themselves stuck on highway 401 for three hours. When it looked as though the Warriors would miss their .starting time, UW head coach Don McCrae suggested over the phone that his team default their opening round match and start in the consolatipn draw. But some expert: juggling by totirnamerit cdntienor, U of’ T head coach Gib Chapman per-, tiitted ‘thi game to be rescheduled fibr l&e Thursday night; .. . nlC&+.-ir.*I .,,*JL. .. -,

The jump ball was finally tossed up at l&l5 p.m. When the buzzer finally sounded to end t he game at 12:15 a.m., the Warriors had convincingly thumped their maritime counterparts, 73-59. The fact that the game was the 400th win of McCrae’s illustrious CIAU coaching career might have soothed the fact that it was well after midnight. \ “The players handled the situation really well,” said McCrae. “We went out and really waxed Dal.” Ace sniper Tom Schneider paced UW with 21 points, while fellow guard Chris Troyak tossed in 15 and centre Pat Telford hooped IO. After the game, Chapman warned McCrae, “you made it through tonight, but you’re going to be in trouble by Saturday.” The soothsayer Chapma,n couldn’t have been more accurate. Waterloo collapsed late in the following night’s game .against Chapman’s .Varsity Blues, dropping a 68~62 nailbiter. In Saturday’s third place game, the resurgent MaFauders hammered the Warriors, 74-6dl’ The’ Wtirriors’ ‘pre-season replumnieted to1 8-6. I cord ,.,, ‘Aftef _a... an ’ 1. . , -’ .

its toll

impressive S-I start, the Warriors have lost five of their last eight games. The Regina Rams handily took the tourney title, shellacking the Blues in the championship game,

Blues had five players in double figures. To put it mildly, Saturday’s game with Mac was a disaster. The Wa’rriors shot a gor 30 per cent from the floor, an cl 1883-89. > of-27 from the foul stripe. The Warriors returned to Wa“This was very medioc,re terloo tit 2:15 a.m, Friday mornshooting,” understated McCrae. ing, and voyaged back to the Big “Mac didn’t really play that well Smoke for an evening clash with either - that’s an indication of the tough Blues. how badly we played? The Warriors actually led 34Bilawey took the honour as the 33 at halftime, and 46-44 with first Warrior to outscore seven minutes remaining. But . Schneider this season, draining the Blues sprung a special de18 pQints. Schneider netted 16 on fence on UW, and the scoresat at the day. 46-44 for almost five minutes. McCrae had difficulty assess-

“This is0the longest I can remember

a player unitA being established,” “We expired at the end. Expired is a very accurate term,” confessed McCrae. But added, “When you tie: people over 35 minutes, you have to eIevate, your game, We haven’t done this yet.” Schneider typically led the way with 21 dointa, as.Troyak po&ed in 14 &nd John Bil&&ey chipped in 11. The -. . .. ,.. .,. .I .C we&balanced

is the longest I can remember going without a player unit being established.” The Warriors final pre-Yuletide action rounds but tonight (Friday) as th@y head back down the dreaded 401 to play the York Yeomen in Mudville. Their next action will be at York again on December 28 in the York Excalibur T.ournament. This wiU complete the Warriors’ pre-season.

Western is favoured The Warriors open the regular season in the PAC on Wednesday, January 4 at 8 p.m., as they host the Guelph Gryphons.

going without Don McCrae -.

ing the weekend, especially considering the ill-fated journey on -the 401 threw a wrench in the UW machine. “We don’t know, where we, are,” confessed McCrae, “Itrs un-c fair to .judg.e it. At times we played great - for the first three halves of a six half -’ tourneys!, Is that us or the weekend? We’re still playing a lot of player8, This

H&P NOTES: Taking an early, gli,mpse at the OUAA West, the de,fendi& champion Westera Mustangs are heavy favourl@. Waterloo, .Guelph and McMaster are probably _the next beat three, while Laurier, ” Windsor’ and Brock will all be rqbuildihg. The n&comers to the Xtiisitin, Lakeh%ad;a-are stil) * somwka&-uf ~48. mysterg a!: this p.oint. , , , 1: iI.:,!

. QtjAA

~@~~-lg&&??jrae-,

&fij;”

to form t61~‘~&1? tiiththti pr& nial winneI;, Uni;versity of W&~q ern ( ant arfo holding onto a.first _place and Waterloo establishing’ itstilf fir*Jy in the silver medal posiii6n. Standin‘gs coming out of competition in London were UWO, 24 points, University of Waterloo with 38 and Mac picking up bronze with 10. The Warriors started ‘the morning by defeating Guelph in straight games, taking the match 6-O. At noon they tobk on a much improved YMcMaster contingent and, although Waterloo won every match, UWs number three through five players layed well to win by identica P scores of three games to one.

Disposed of WLU, Guelph, Mac l

After lunch, Waterloo continued it’s winning streak by easily dispatching Wilfrid Laurier 6-O. The Western Mustangs also disposed of the Marauders, the Gryphons and the Hawks 6-O and in the best match of the tournev. turned back the Warrior team 8-O. The matches featured some excellent squash but the Westem squad is just too powerful for --mu

H&key Warr.iori

“&d,

:&if:

‘sM&thy

Arn+l’c&* +r$+@ityQ$un& ‘. ‘; :,&I SiQ+titidav; ‘3VS&t&r%‘& ntirnbef ‘titie pI@ef, ‘ftimi&,Cfoni-’ bie (internationally ranked and number 2 Canadian soft-ball player), took a day off. His placed was well filled by newcomer Trevor Thorn. (number six Canadianfrom British Columbia) who proved too experienced for Waterloo’s number I player, second year arts student, Danny Marsh.

Thorn toughed it out ~~ Last year, Marsh was selected for the CIUAA All-Star Tea’m and showed great determination in making T6om work for every point. ’ In the 25-miniite first game, Marsh moved to a 5-O lead, but finally succumbed to Thorn’s tremendous power, Thorn toughed out game two and when Marsh won-a long smashing rally at5-8, it looked-as if an upsei might occur. Thorn, however, showed his national dass and after 10 minutes of exhausting squash, finally broke through and finished the match 9-5, g-5, 9-2. Head coach, Barney Lawrence said, “It’s one thing to be the best amateur in Kitchener-Waterloo

Next tourney’ ‘hera At number 2, Western’s Scott Nash, last year’s intercollegiate individual champion, outgunned Warriors Captain, Ed Crymble [Math, CA 4) 3-0. Mike Khan .[McGi~l’ti tix-number one avd last years intercollegiate number two) played hard and overcame Warriors’ Trent Haase [Camp Eng 4) in straight games. Canadian National Hard-ball Champion, Mark Barber, displayed brilliant shot-making in beating a game Jeff Deverill (Kin 2) 3-O at number 4. Warriors’ only freshmen, Lee Marsh’all and Jons Ryckert were defeated by Scott Mikalachi and K. Nassier, The OUAA Cross-Over Tournament will be held at Waterlod, January 13 and 14, 1989 at the Northfield Racquet Club and the UW courts. Traditionally, the Western Section has been stronger than the East, angl Warriors will be strong contenders to retain the second place (held in ‘80 and ‘871, while Western will, in all likelihood, remain undefeated in Canadian Squash.

Double Shot

VS. WLlJ

Vkirriors

Sun., .!2:30

Gbei$’ Dec. 4th’. VS.

AT ~CCU,,JlMBl~~ jfii.EFlE.LD -2s r, ,.*‘.

Wed., Jan. 4th, 1989 8 pm. at the PAC

DR. VALERIE

DIPPEi

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SPORTS

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LAN’GUAGE

The University of Waterloo Athenas basketball team finally demonstrated they have the ability to play in all 40 minutes of a roundball contest. Despite two losses to Lakehead University in a doubleheader this past weekend, the Athenas proved to themselves and to coach Leslie Dal Cin that they are capable of playing with some heart and enthusiasm, elements that haven’t been visible in previous outings. The Athenas travelled to Thunder Bay _on Friday, November 25 to play the Lady Norwesters in their opening matches of the regular season. Waterloo handed Lakehead their first victory, shooting only 32 per cent from the field and an atrocious 42 percent from the free throw line. The Athenas were outrebounded 46-31 and turned the ball over 27 times - not what it takes to win, definitely. As iti the pre-season, the team didn’t execute the offense effectively and were intimidated by the opposition, allowing many uncontested layups and rel bounds. The final score was a disappointing 65-42 in favour of Lakehead. Rookie forward Brenda Kraemer led the scoring for Waterloo with 11 points, followed by Michelle McCrory who netted nine. Sometime8 a face-to-face confrontation’ with the tputh is what is needed to inspire some pride and enthusiasm in a team that is lacking self-confidence. After watching a local cable-TV ceplay_ of the previous night’s pounding, the Athenas bounced

COURSES

&earn a LanguageJive

beg

a Language

back on Saturday with an intense, exciting display of basketball. Waterloo came out fighting and didn’t let up. It was not the same team as the previous evening and the Lady Norweaters knew it early. The score read 3s 30 at halftime. , The post play of Corinna Lueg, Jane Willett, and Leanne Grickson was exceptional, forcing Lakehead to go to a zone defence early in the second half. Scoring 22, .10, and seven points respectively, the three forwards also ruled the glass, ripping 11, eight, and seven rebounds. Overall, the Athenas out-rebounded the Norwesters 38-21, a considerable turn-around in the 24 hours. In the end, the Athenas came up short by three points. The defeat, a score of 59-56, was accepted with heads high and pride restored. However, there are many areas still to improve: the 51 per cent from the floor, 50 per cent from the foul line, and the 27 turnovers. The comeback’was a step in the right direction.

All twelve players will have to continue to play with the confidence they showed on the weekend. Improvement on obvious weaknesses in shooting percentage and turnovers is a must, if they hope to capture a birth in the OWIAA playoffs in February. With the addition of a strong Lakehead team into the West Division, the fight for the top four playoff spots is even more seuere, Coach Dal Cin was pleased with her team’s effort iti the second game, but added there is still “a lack of concentration for several minutes a same. We have to put it all together for 40 minutes each game. We can’t afford to have even short lapses.” The stiff competition in the West Division does not allow room for the occasional bad game. Waterloo travels to Windsor tomorrow (Saturday) for their final’ contest before the Christmas break. The next hotie game for the Athenas is cm January II at 6 p.m. in the PAC when they host the Western Mustangs.

V-ball Warriors

take bronze

Continued from ;aga 34 the week for his efforts, was the Top Quick Hitter in the tournament. It should be noted once again that offside Bekesza turned in a solid performance in all -four matches. Tournament play resumes at Ryerson the last week .of December. It will be a busy sche-

dule as the regular season resumes, and the team will travel to two more tournaments in January. The prestigious York Excalibur will be held on Jan. 6, 7, 8 and an exciting trip to Winnipeg is on for Jan. 13,14 and 15. In addition, ranked UBC will be visiting on Thursday, Jan. 5 in the PAC.

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Imprint, Friday, Dec;ember 2, 1988

SPOFe

Athletes of the Week- =====T=+ ATHENA OF THE WEEK 1 JULIA FARRELL - VQLLEYBALL Julia Farrell, a second year Biology student, has been selected as the University of Waterloo and Labatt’s Athena of the Week. Julia is a local product from Kitchener, who attended Forest Heights Collegiate. The starting setter was very effective in controlling the offence during consecutive 3-o and 3-1 victories against Lakehead University on the weekend. Throughout the weekend, Julia sparked the offence with 10 service aces and and then led the defence with 24 digs. Last season, Julia was selected as co-recipient of the Athena volleyball MVP award, She is also a previous winner of the Athlete of the Week award, Based on her performance this past weekend+ Julia should be able to continue to run the offence during the 1988 season.

from

stuck . page

The Warrior blueliners made mistakes typical of fatigued athletes during the last five minutes of the period and looked particularly ragged for the final sixty seconds of regulation time. Overtime proved ir-&onsequential with Waterloo taking hard shots early but unable to mount a steady attack. Bishop turned aside 30 of 32 shots in the game to lower his and the team’s goals against a+ erage to 2.67, good for second place behind McGill’s Jamie Reeve backstopped Redmen at 2.50. In other action around the the Wilfrid Laurier league, (%1&n Hawks are witnessing their own resurrection with three big wirls last week, First, a 6-1 humiliation of York on their own pond and then a S-3 victory over the Windsor Lancers, ousting them from first place in the West. Finally a 7-4 victory over the Western Mustang scoring machine, keeping the top three close in OUAA’s CenCral division.

Play resurging

Hawks

Waterloo is at horn;! tonight (Friday, December 4 in an important Central division match, hosting the Laurier Golden Hawks in the Columbia Freezerdome at ~30.

vacation

University of Waterloo team has it’s Christmas cut

short this to Alberta

year

DLCEMBFR

SUNDAY,

The Princea I Cinema will present the acclaimed fi m, A World Apart, as a benefit for 178 Global Community at 7:OOcpm. Admission to this look 8t apartheid in South Africa is S5.00. The Princess is located one block south of,Bridgeport and King in Waterloo*

BigS&en is embarking on a new revenue producing venture. A store called Stuffy’s - Clothes and Stuff for Kids, featuring nearly new merchandise, clothing, toys, crafti and furniture. Open Friday from 1O:OO am, to 400 pm. and Saturday from 1000 am. to 3:OO pm. Located next to Heritag8’Bridal House 8t ttre corner of WiIliam and Caroline Streets in Waterloo. Chrirtmar sit Seagram Museum. The New Hamburg Bell Ringers, The Twin City Harmonizers, The University of Waterloo Chamber Choir, 7:00 td9:m pm., 57 Erb St. W., Waterloo. B&h&l Stirdies Association’s meeting. This is the last meeting of the term. 7:OO pm,, room 110, Camplis Centre.

DECLMBLR

MUNOAY,

they travel for the University of Calgary Tournament December 28 thfough to ,December 31. Last home action before exams begin is Sunday, December 4, when the Warriors clash with the Guelph Gryphons at 2:30 p.m.

I.8 Cerele Francis presents: La Patiente de Agatha Chris& and Dequoi s’aget-il de Tardieu performed by FRl08A. 7:30 followed by a potluck dinner at 900 at Ressurection College in the cafeteria. Everyone is wetcome. Please drop off your meal at the college before the presentation of the plays. UW Band concert featuring UW Concert Band dir-ected by George Holmes and UW Stage Band directed by Michael Wood. 8:OO pm,, Humanities Theatre, UW. Admission $503. Tickets are available at the CGC Music Office or ai the door. Call 885-0220, ext. 26 for more information. Sponsored by the Conrad Grebel College Music Office and the UW Creative Arts Board, Federation of Students. Chri8tmru at Seagram Museum. The Waterloo County Teachers’ Choir, The Waterloo Police Choir, The emanuel United CHurch Choir. 2:W - 4:OOpm. 57 Erb St., W. Waterloo.

DECEMBaR

DSClMblR

UW Chord concert featuring music by Bach, Mandelssohn, Monteverdi, Poulenc. Chamber Choir directed by Wilbur Maust and University Choir di: rected by Robert Shantz. 8:00 pm.,Theatre of the Arts. Admission

$503.

Tickets available at the C,GC Music office or at the door. Call 8850220, ext. 26 for m-ore informationm. Sponsored by the Conrad Grebel College Music Dept. and the UW Creative Arts Board, F.S. Yuietlde Treasure8. Learn how Victorians created those magical Christmas d8COr8tiOnS that adorned their home. 1 :oO to 4130 pm. Woodside National Historic Park. 528 Wellington St. N., Kitchener. OHCEMMR

Chrktmr, Muric Tracjitions, Joyful music and songs of the 1890’s will be performed by sccoplished musicians and soloists. Deceinber 4 - 11; 1 :OO to 4:30 pm. Woodside National Historic Park. 528 Wellington St. N,, Kitchener. Due to popular demand, last spring’s Screening works hop, “Interviewing, and Placement of Volunteers”, presented bby the vo lunteer Placement Service, is being repBated. It will be held at Club Willowells . Phone 7428610 to register. The cost is $25, includes lunch, + Another excltlng Federation of Stud8ntS’ council meeting. Coffee and doughnuts served. NH 3004 at 1 :oO pm. Don’t YOU dare miss it.

OECEMMR

Chrlrbnm at Seagram Muse&t. St. Nicholas Day and Darw - Waterloo County CaroIlers. 700 - 900 pm. 57 Erb St., W. Waterloo.

Bagel Srunch, CC 110, l1:30 am.I:30 pm. Every Monday and Thursday. Come to meet people, eat’food, drink drinks, use Star-Wars dixie CUDS.

Nkaraguan hurrkms relief1 Next meeting, 7130 pm. at Global Community Centre. 89-91 King St. N, Waterloo. Anyone and everyone welcome. The need is urgent. Contact Erin Fletcher at 7464090. WEDNESDAY,

DECEMBER

TUESDAY WATSFIC (Waterloo Science fiction Club) meets every Tuesday at 6:30, Campus Centre Clubs Room. All Welcome1 Come and see Scott and Jen duel to the death withtheir bare hands before an audience of bingo intellectuals. House of Debates. St. Jerome’s, 249,

UW Chrirtmrr Carol Sing. With Jake Willms from the Dean of Arts Office leading the carolling. 12:t 5 to 100 pm. Modern Languages Building Foyer.

5:30. WEDNESDAY

Wooekide by Lamplight. Coal oil lanterns will illuminate Woodside in a new light. Seethe nostalgicandcolurful decorations as they take on a new glow: Music will also be performed during the evenings. December 16 and 17. 7:QO to 9:OO pm. Woodside National Historic Park. 528 Wellington St. N., Kitchener.

Laymen’8

Evangelical Fellowship Bible study at 7:30pm. in CC 1 IO. AH are welcome. Amnrrty international Group 1 t8 general meeting. CC 135, 7:30 pm. Movies,qpeakers, and other interesting stuff. New members are always welcome.

GLOW (Gay’s 8nd Lesbians of Waterloo) holds a coffee house from 9:001 I ;OOpm* in room 110 of the Campus New YSUS Eve Day Tea. Sip tea and Centre. For an informative evening of tast Victorian treats on the last day of films,speakers,discussions and so1988. Enjoy on last glimpse of the seacializing. All are welcome. sonal decorations. 1:OO to 430 pm. ‘Ch~pe1aerulwaet Conrad Grebel ColWoodside National Historic Park. 528 lege, 4:3Opm. Evening prayer with Wellington St. N., Kitchener. choir and sermon. ’ Watmloo Go Club invites beginniw TUESDAY, JANUARY a players to lassons starting at 7:OOpm. and players to free playing time.at UntWDtMy CMr,v&ce placement in7:30.pm., B.C. Matthews Hall, morn terviews. Robert’ Shantz, director. 1040. call ext. 4424, Everyone welcome. Sign up &Room 1St for an interview time. Interviews THURSDAY. will also be held on Jan. 4, 5 and 9. Choir rehearses on Tuesdays, f-9 pm. Woinen’r Social Discussion G&p Sponsored by the Conqrd Grebel Co/-, meets in CC 135 (usually) at 8:30 v. leg8 MuSiC Department and the CreaCome out and enjoy casual di%u8tive Arts Board, UW Federation of sions, movie nights, social events and Students. much more. For more information OBill 884-GLOW or listen to CKMS iw.5 THURSDAY, JANUARY tl FM) from 600 to 8100 pm. Thursdays. .. k@m tnulticulturd folk dance fo.r fun UW -88ttll auditions. Vi&or Sawa, and performance opportunities. 7:30 dirsctor. All students, faculty 8nd staff 9:30 pm., Studio C, ECH Phillip .St. welcome. Sign up at the Mu&c Off ice, Mara 885-6346. Room 266, CGC for an tibdition time. Orchestra rehearses Thursdays, 430 e 6:30 pm. Sponsoietl by the Conrad FRIDAY Grebel College Music Department and the Creative Arts Board, UW Fer8ChIn~re ChrMirn Fellowship weekly tion of Students. ’ meeting. 7:30 pm., WLU Semitiry Building, room 201. All welcome. For UW C0nc8rt Band first rehearsal. transportation catl 746-5769. George Holmes, director. Everyone welcome. No audition necessary. fridry prayar, I:30 - 2: 15 pm., CC Sponsored by the Conrad Grebel Cal135, Friday study circle, 8:OO - IO:00 leg8 Music Department and the Creapm., CC 135. Both events are spontive Arts Board, UW Federation of sored by theMustim Students AssociStudents. ation. SATURDAY,

,TUESDAY, SATURDAY,

SUNDAY,

The hockey

CALENDAR

’ The University of Waterloo and Labatt’s would like to congratulate the Warrior of the Week, Steve Heck. Steve, a third

Continued

FRIDAY,

WARRIOR OF THE WEEK STEVE HECK - VOLLEYBALL

Warriors in third

year Economics major, is also a Kitchener native and alumni of Forest Heights Collegiate. Last weekend, Steve led the Warriors to a third place finish in the Guelph Invitational Tournament. Throughout the tournament, Steve had 22 blocks, 39 kills and 28 digs. For his efforts and excellent play, Steve was named the ‘Outstanding Quick Hitter for the tournament. During tournament play, the Warriors _ defeated Ryerson and Queen to remain undefeated against Canadian teams. UW dropped the semi-final game to Ball State, one of the premier volleyball teams in the united States. Waterloo’s overall record is 19-L

DLClMBER

’

WLMJLSDAY,

DLCIMbCR

EpiiOp8y OnUdO is holding a general forum. Topic: Surgical Aspects of Treatment for Epilepsy. Rink in the Perk, 99 Seagram Drive, Waterloo, 730 pm. Everyone is welcome. Free. Chrlatmm it Seagram Museum. Seniors Day. St. John’s Southridge Public School Choir, Forest Heights Collegiate Jafz Band, 200 - 4:oO pm. 57 Erb St., W. Waterloo. THURSDAY,

OECEMMR

chr’l8tmr# ti Seagram Museum. Seniors Day. St. John’s Kilmarnock School Choir, 2:oO - 4:qQ pm. 57 Ert, St., W. Waterloo. The &m Club invites players, beginners and visitors to its biweekly meeting at 7:30 pm., room 1040, B.C. Matthews Hall, Bring your boards and dictionari8.s. For more information, phone 579-3695. FRIDAY,

DLCiM8=R

Cofleehoure at the Heuther Hotel. The last’one was a smash success; don’t miss this one! Ubstairs. s:w om. Sponsored by Amnesty InternatIonal

FRIDAY, SATURDAY,

DLCCCMBLR

JANUARY

Chriatmaa la for Children+ Stories, games, treatsandcraftswill delight all children aged 8 to 12 yea%. 1 :m to 4:30 pm.Woodside National Historic Park. 526 Wellington St. N., Kitchener,

Good &marttm Community Church. “Pure in Heart and Communion with God” seminar with Mark Virkler. 7:m pm. and Saturday, January 7 at 9100 am. - 5:OO pm. Highway 7 and Woolwith Township Road 72, behind Grobe Nursery.

Imprint,

Friday, December 2, 1988

CLASSIFIED FOR SAU

FUR 8AU m wy flight to Calgary. Dec. 22 (femsld Phone 741 -so96* UW bug, 1972. Only 70,ooO miles. Good bra&es, heating. Yellow with b+ack interior, radials. 81ooO. Cell Paul 884-6918. w pm& Mans 32-34 inch waist. Schniti racing pants. Navy with red, lower leg padded. Mike at 8869347. w m system: Keyboard, monitor, disk drive and over 60 disks. Cables and instructions included. $750 or best offer. Call 742-8153 anytime. Ask for Chip. For 8dei Microw8ve oven. 0.9 cu. ft. 1983 Panasonic 700 W. 8100. Phone 576-8266. mf tldrti one way to Germany (west) for sale. Toronto via Amsterdam to H8mburg. 8300 o.b.0, Call soerg, 884-61 OS. coUcJ1/8of~ set, double bed and boxspring, two dressers (one nine drawer and one four drawer}. 8100. Call l-846-0301.

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Anw(mr llouee, a service to meet the needs of victims of family violenca, is providing a fund-raising gift-wrapping service to patrons of the Market SqlJs re. Volunteers are urgently needed to help wrap gifts. Please call Eva at 741-9979 or Pat at 742-5994.

lOy0m bookkeeping experience. ACHILP WAN’WO counts receivable and payable, payroll - costing, bank reconciliation, trial balOlr-ounpW travel fepresentetive or 8nc8, financial statements. Calf Sonorganization needed to promote nia after 6:OO pm. 886-1049. Spring Break trip to Florida or Texas. MM ‘wt#r small cube van available Earn money, free trips and valuabk weeknights, Saturday for moving. work experience, Call Inter-Campus 82S./hr. KW area - Gary at 746-7160. Programs l-800-433-7707. Will do Ikht moving with a small Wo&end coum for developtruck. Rsskmable rat&. 894-2831. mentally delayed individuals. 86.35/hr. Every second weekend. Leave message for Don Mader after 200 pm. 884-6012, 886-5201. Sprfng Bnrlr Tour Promoter - Escort. Energetic person, M/F, to take signW&t& Buakll cards. Need Christups for Florida tours. Good pay and mas money? Sell your baseball cards fun. Call Cgmpus Marketing l-800to MDM Cards. Call Mike at 884-5518 423-5264. or Dave ‘at 864-65 17.

TYPlwQ 58 Typing Unlimited. Typing/word proceasing services by legal secretary. Call 886-3326. Rmnwr, world term reports, thesis, etc. Done quickly and professionaHy on computer with laser print out. Reasonable rates. Call Wendy 7467849. Typing: 31 yea& experience. 85C double spaced page. IBM Selectric, Essays, resumes, theses, etc. Westmount-Erb-area. Call 886-7153. Fut, recurate typing and letter quatity word processing. Resumes, essays, theses, business reports. Free pickup and delivery. Call Diane, 576I284. 32 years experience, electronic ty-writer, Westmount area. .95c double spaced page. Call 743-3342. Words - Professional typing services. Offered 7 days/week. Work guaranteed. Call 746-6746. Pick-up and de-

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FM mrl word processing by university grad. Pjck-up/delivery available on campus. Grammar, spelling, corractions available. Laser prin.ter. Suzanne, 886-3857. Esmy~, ate. word precessedf 81.50 per double-spa* page. Resirmea $5.00per page. Draft copy always provided. Near Seagram Stadium. Phone 885-l 353. Fast -tie typist will type essays, theses, resumes, etc. 8 1 .OO per double-spaced sheet. Please call Lyn at 742-6583. - Theses, projects, es-oTy(n says, resumes, general typing. Twelve years experience. Good rates. Close to university. Call 747-4469. Word wng. Will type essays, thems, resumes. etc. Fast, reliable service. Letter quality printer. Call Sharon 748- 1793. ~.-. m WordpertrCt and do your own reports, essays, etc. Short, flexible time courses enable you to attend when it’s convenient for you1 Academy of Learning, 740-0318. Also, computer time availble - ask for Nancy. Cwnpus pick-up and delivery. {Macintosh) 81. double spaced page. No technical typing or charts. Pat 8930499 after 5. Typing: Em, theses, work reports, rasumes, business letters. Will correct spelling, g’rammar, punctuation, electronic typewriter. Reasonable rates, 10 vears exoerience. Phone Lee. 886-5a aft&noon or evening. Papers, reaumer, theses, using Microsoft Word. Fast, excellent quality, spellcheck. Extensive experience. On-campris, reasonable rates. Call Lynda 698-2022 after 500.

Summer 1989. Great deal. Four rooms for rent with option to take over lease in the Fall. Fully furnished house, with wa$her/dryey, microwave, freezer, two fridges and cable. Parking available, 15 min. walk from U of W. (on Karen Walk). Only 8130/month. Female non-smokers. Please cal IZeno at 747-4179 or u of w 8Xt. 3106. Four bedroom, two level apartment. Huge kitchen and dining roam. Loft bedroom with skylight. 8 1.I 5O/month inclusive. 67 Louisa. 576-8282. Studant condo. Fully furni?hed spacious town house with washer/dryer, microwave, cable TV, garage, etc. One double room teftl Male or female nonsmokers wanted for January. 823O/month each (includes utilities). Negotiable. Call 745-3884. Toronto. Winter 1989. Basement, kitchen, fireplace, furnished . Two rooms, one to share. 25 minutes to downtown. $350. Call George 7415502. Summer 1889. Three bedroom townhouse with space for five people. Fully carpeted, mostly furnished with five appliances including washer/dryer# T.V. with complete .Pay T.V. Package for only 8825/mth or five at 816Wmth. 15 minute walk to lJ of W. 74 Churchill No. 2. Call Basat 7473875. Roommate wanted: ISM Co-op - ideal Toronto location. Roommate needed to share three bedroom townhouse with two female ISMers. Ride to GO train. Toronto Dominion Centre or Motfield. Close to Sheppard subway station. 8350./month. 416-2294324. Monhrl apartment for rent. Two bedrooms and furnished, laundry. 8450 per month. Five minutes to Villa Maria Metro.’ Freshly painted. Call Fleur Macqueen, 514-871-0108 (wk) or 514-487-2819. St. P~ut’s has a few spaces for undergraduate or graduate students for winter term, 1989. 61,752. for the term: includes shared room; three meals a day, seven daysa week, plusa snack at lo:00 pm. Phone Mrs. Beamish at (519) 885- 1460 for further info, or home to the Businasa office at St. Paul’s for your application. Da&ad: upper year/grad student (non-smoker) to share luxury three bedroom townhouse with two students. Jan. - Apr., Westmount and Victoria. Furnished 13’ x 20’ room, microwave, washer/dryei, parking, epprox. 83DD/month. 741-5549, Randee.

AVAlLABU

ROMW for rent. Four bedroom apartment, two level, upstairs of house, Huge kitchen, dining room. 67 Louisa at Moore. 8325hm. 578-8282. PO88mlb to sublet bachelor apartment for winter term. Near KW H&pital. 8250. including utilities. Larger than avarage bachelor. 741-5314, late. Tmrbb, BmnptanJen. - Apr. 1989. Share four bedroom, two kitchen house in Brampton with U of W Gr8d. On bus route, close to GO Train, laundry, parking, S325/mo. Phone %&y5F2ys ext. 6177, evenings(416) . 10 - 15 rnlnuti &alk to University. House or rooms with beds, furnished living room, kitchen with appliances, two baths. Available now or reserve for Jan. 1. 8860463E watwloa l ubhta May - AuQlm 1989. Two large bedrooms availal& in three bedroom apartment. Non-smoking females. Close to UW. $2lO/month. Phone 746-2908. Taronto sublat.January - April 1989. One bedroom in three badroom house. Gay or gay positive female. Close to subway. 83 50 inclusive. Audrev: (416) 761-9619. Threo mraarn house - two 4th-year students looking for third room-mate for Jan. - Apr. ‘89. Preferably upperyear. female, non-smoker. Clost3 to university(l5min. walk)8210/month plus utilities. Gord (416) 231-2929 or Peter (416) 485-2166. wontred workbrm? Share two bedroom, two floor condo for January term. Furnished room, washer, dryer, colour cable TV, fireplace. Close to, downtown and Mont Royal subway. Call Terry 514-596-1605. Bus, 514283-9829. SMIW ‘88. Large room in house for M/F. Share with three grads. Laundry, kitchen, parking, close to downtown Kitchener, convenience, beer stores, 1O-l 5 min. bike to campus. 8175 mth plus util. Jim 7418331 or ext. 2326. Apart-t to share. Two bedroom, share with one other person. Must provide own bed, otherwise fully furnished. $195 including utilities. University and E&.746-6533. Ask for Ian or Scott. Furnlahed house for rent. Available Jan. 1 or May 1. Five bedrooms, two bathrooms, two kitchens, living and family rooms, appliances, excellent condition, 10 min. walk. $1300, 746. 7928. Three badrooms in five bedroom townhouse. Washer/dryer, partlyfurnished, fully carpeted. Close to campus. Call Tim, 746-4954 or ext. 6386. One fully furnished apartment, 20 minute walk to university and three minute walk to shopping plaza: On bus route. Want to sublet it from Jan Cat1 Anil at 744-8757. Summer ‘88. Three rooms available in Columbia Lake Townhouse. Fulty furnished, all appliances, laundry facilities. Rent negotiable. Call 747-3695. , One female needed to share room in three bedroom apartment. Furnished. Close to universities, on m&in bus route. 6216/mth., plus, Available Jan. Call Alex at 74617527. Oshawa W89. One furnished bedroom for rent in fully furnished house with washer/dryer, microwave, stereo and cabte TV. Close to GM. Only 8285 includes utilities. Call Asghar at (416) 644-671 I. WIntar 1989. One large room (with private fridge and eating area).for r&t. Fully furnished house with washer/dryer, microwave, freezer, parking available. 15 min. walk to U of W (on Karen WsIk) 823OImonth. Female non-smokers. Call feno 747-4179 or U of W ext. 3106. Room ruall&l~: Changed my mind1 Room in town house now available fcr Jan. 1 I Laundry facilities, piano, pool, close to Parkdale Plaza. 8177./month plus utilities. Female, non-smoker. 886-4874 or ext. 3894. Poaftlon rvrtllrble. St. Jerome’s residence, winter term 1989. Includes: 19 meals/wk, double room, laundryfacilrties, weightroom, central location on campus. Great social atmosphere. For more detaits phone 884-sdsl. R-(s) rvrllabk single or double, kitchenette, bathroom, laundry facilities, on bus route. 8250 par month. leave message for Jan, 747-4979 -

-1.

CLASSlFlED Continued

AVAlLAbLU

$1. Clrlhwtn~. Apartment in house. Fully furnished. Suitable for two. WOO/month; negoitable for one. taurri 884-8276 heal call).

HOIJSBNU

WAHiED

WO oc.fhrea bedroom apartment’for upperyear females, non -smokers. Close to UW, up to 825Wmonth. Call 746-0375 (after 500 pm.1

Obawaed with your weight? lf you are suffering from anorexia or bulimia, and if you are interested in joining a self-help group composed of others who know what you’re going through, ’ call Marie at 740-6036.

swuulls ” Rumumber a year ago? McDonald’s? the hand?snow football? Fed Hall? the taxi7171 Thanks for the year of great memories, here’s to many more. Happy Anniversaryf Love YOU, C. P.S. Surprised?

Stephen Lawla, Canada’s former ambassador to the UN, comes to UW’s Humanities Theatre at 7:30 pm. Thursday, January 12, 1989. $5 for students, 57 for non-students. Get your tickets now from the Fed off ice or GSA office. \

Cottgrd~ Kappa Gamma Phi J.I.‘s. We are pleased and proud to have you wearing our letters. May you Continue to grow in the Gieek spirit. Wanda.

Attention ^ Co+ students. Out of money? Maybe we can help with a personal loan. Bank of Commerrce, Campus Centre. Whd

IHI i going to do? How tian4 be How should I tell my family7 Can l continue in schml? Where can I obtain good medical care? .Call Birthright, 579-3990.

InWeMd In sex? Love? 6i r$h Cont ro 17 Will you be here next term? Why no volunteer at the Birth Control Centre. Volunteer applications for January are available at the BCC (CC 206)now.

At’tm dl SAA-types: thanks for making the term such a success:..the hard work has paid off and tonight we celebrate1 Jose and Jane.

Havs a healthy Christmas/work term. Don’t take chances with sex. Play it safe. Birth Control Centre, ,CC 206, ext. 2306.

-sure I am pregnant?

CALtWDAR

Continued

from page 38 SUNDAY

w$ Ev&ellcal Fellowship evening service, at 7:W pm., 163 University Ave. W., Apt. 321 (MSA).‘All . are welcome. For more info, call 8845712.

Ch@ remat Conrad Grebel College. 700 pm. Informal service with modern music, drama and discussion following.,

ONUOINU

LVUMTS

ma& World Youth is now recruiting participants between 17 and 20 (as of December 31, 1988) for exchange programmes with developing countries in Africa, Asia, Latin Ameria and the Caribbean. Exchanges start as early as June 1989. Final dealine for applications in January 2711989. For application forms or ‘rribrg inform&on, contact Canada ‘ World Youth, Ontario Regional Off ice, 386”Bloor St., West, 2nd floor, Toronto. M5S 1X4. (416) 922-0776. Old country games, here and now. New exhibit of mtilticultural games featuring German,. Mediterranean, , Qrieqtal and Korean games. 9:oO am. to 5:oO pm. Sundays 1 :OO - 5:00 pm. Museum and Archive of Games, BMH, free. j Narcotkq Anuymour. A non-profit self-help iroup for those wishing to react3er from drug use. Meetings take place Saturday nights at f:DO pm. at St. Jerome’s High School teacher’s lounge (buke St., Kitchenerjand Monday nights at 8:oO pm. at St. Louis - Roman Catholic Church (Allen St. E., Kitchener - rear door to right of ch’urch choir entrance). “Ff!@nd$” I social school program for , children in K-W, urgently seeking volunteers during October and November. Rewarding experience for interested students. Cal I “Friends” 742-4380 Tuesday or Thursday. Registgr now for Jan. 16 workshop. Tumkq Toy Drive. New and gently used toys and wrapping are needed for infants to 16 years-old. All donations are greatly appreciated end can be dropped of at the Campus Centre .Turnk@y Desk, University of Waterloo. Deadline is Friday, December 9,1988.

Pmf0ssional Research, T,ut~&@ & Literary Sewices

960-9042 4 Collier Tom-m,

from page 37

HwsIwu

Impf~nt,Fjiday,Decemller2,1988

SYmes Ontario

Suite 201, M4W I L7

Punkom are: such very wonderful things and I’ll keep mine forever. Can’t wait for the Skiing1 - Chaye. Yog: I hear that a rose is a rose, is a rose, but it doesn’t apply in this casef Good luck and thanks for sharing your Waterloo years. Jane. l.S.6. once discovered the ultimate experience is meant to enrich life. Savor and share it, don’t let it undermine your life1 Jim. Lhru No. WC2 87R Thanks for the show in Lot R at 12:30 pm. on Nov. 28. Did she swallow? Honk.

~~AsChristmastimedmws closer near, here are some things I think you should here. Same boys in S8 havebeun mmenaughtytbn Nile. $0 here dear Santa is S7’s sdvice: &i83pSesnoffthetWesinr0dand green, for parts of his body are m good to be seen. Alan’s in gedogy, but hasn’t learned a lot, Hlell, m abar Santa that haprefers hisdrinksonti rocks.Markhasbenuptonogood= well, as he proves Sundays mnirrgs when he looks like hell, The Johns have trouble hoMing their Chrisbws cheer. it’s the mixture with their herfnones 57 girls fear. When pu cane to leave Damian his Christmas bt, we suggest you leave him nothing and take his plaid suit. Please dear Santa don’t mark them off your list, for come JanliarytheirpresenceHllemighteven mid Happy D-Cathy. This past year has been great! Here’s to many* more. Steve. P-S. The rext time you put your hand on SomeOne ‘s knee. make sure it’s the right onelll -

hl~AiihtUfFriday.NOwmber 25. A Swiss army knife. Call Janles at 748-4776 to cl&n:

Speak&g of the world...

. 1Bent Presents:

me Return of the...

A COLLECTION OF CARTOONS by Jack Lefcourt

Rlc~cAReIl llolIIl.!l~Ev~

Saturday, December 3rd at The Bombshelter Show star& at 8.pm FEDS$3 Tickets available at the Door Support your Local Talent!! CKMS 94.5 fm Bent

DIIi YOU KNOW?

Step.hen Lewis

“Canada’s best oratorvf - 7:30 pm, Thursday January 12,1989 H&nariities Tbeatre I* GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

$5.Students, $7 Others Available at: Fed Office, CC 235 Grad House’ All BASS Outlets

and HKLS Present:

Entf of Term CRASH AND BURN PARTY!!

Presented by Public Issues Board & Graduate Students Association

M&day, December 5th, 1988, . 8 pm at The Bombshelter -The LAST day of Classes!! Tickets $1 in advance, $2 at door On sale at The Shelter and CC 235

We have 25 cent Coffee during

Exams!

Christmas-related

“There shall be no extension of time for candidates who -arrive late [for an examination] .I’

Movies!

, SaveMoneyShop at The Shelter

Drop by the Bombshelter for some End-of-term Cheer!! FUR IillORE 1NFORMATION, CONTACT NEIL BOW, CHAIR, ACADEMIC AFFAIRS, AT EXT. 6299. r

CAMPUS SHOP: DON'T WORRY, BE HApPY!!

BENT Says: , “Don’t be a DLCK!” WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER ?TH Eti~ ~~EDI~IALL'S

,’ FEDFiICKS ’ December 2nd and 3rd ’ One show only-8pm (No Sunday Show)

EMPIRE OF THE SUN AL, 113, $2 FEDS, $3 NON-FEDS

VVIN.A “BIJJE ZONE?

LIGHTEX3 SIGN Fabulous Prizes for the best ‘Rod Sterling’ Impression

THUtiSDAY, DECEMl$ER

"BLUE ZONE PUB'! FREE POSTERS AND ‘PRIZES 1 FOR EVERYONE!

20% Off Sale Continues To The End Of Term

lti

. We will be‘ open Sa&wday December $10, and 17thf&m l-5 pm.