I interviewed a cis-het man on gender and the male body and this is what he said...

Tori Williams interviewing Lih Chang

How does your gender alter the way you physically present yourself?

At the age of 21, I believed that my body had to be large and muscular to be masculine. I always believed that going to the gym and making myself as big and muscular as possible would impress people. It’s also something to have in common with other guys who go to the gym and feel a similar way. Friends with this similar hobby prefer you to be physically large and insult you if you are smaller. I always wore tight shirts to show off my physique like I was showing off my body as a trophy. The big physique, I think, is to show off how “powerful” and ”intimidating” you are as a man.

And now?

At the age of 25, I have no care for being physically “big” anymore. I’ ve realised that presenting my body in this way doesn’t really say anything to my masculinity - and I think my ego has gone down now too.

Has gender ever presented a barrier to the way you wish to physically present yourself?

Yes. Multiple times in my life.

In high school, the boys would always judge you for your hair style - you had to have your hair short and cut in a certain style. If your hair was growing out even slightly, they would tease and bully you, saying that you looked like a girl. I remember once my hair grew over my ears and the boys would tease me, calling me a girl and telling me to get a haircut. Hearing that made me feel anxious and reluctant to express myself in the way I wanted to. I would cut my hair just to please the males in my year group because I feared getting bullied and being judged for the length of my hair, even when I wanted to grow it out.

I’ ve also always wanted to paint my nails but felt that I couldn’t because I didn’t want to be judged for it. I suppose painted nails are seen as a traditionally “girly ” thing to do and so some people see it as abnormal for men to have their nails painted - even more so than growing your hair out - so you really open yourself up to judgment from other men.

Why do you think “girl” is often used as an insult towards men?

I think that without even knowing it, a lot of men look down upon women and view them as weak, so being called a girl is the equivalent of being called weak, or cowardly. A lot of the insults that men throw at each other are similar; pussy, bitch - it’s all harsher way of calling someone weak. Which I suppose is the opposite to what some men fight to be seen as which is powerful and intimidating.

How did you overcome this barrier?

I think I just eventually stopped caring about what other guys thought of the way I present myself. I started to notice male artists that I look up to expressing themselves with long, feminine hair styles - I also noticed that the feminine hair didn’t affect their identity as men. I also noticed that these men have their nails painted too, and I just think that it looks so cool.

The choice to express themselves in this way never altered my perception of their masculinity. If anything, it made them seem more powerful and inspiring to me. For them to be expressing themselves in this way and going against traditional gender norms in the public eye, it made me feel more comfortable to express myself in the way that I want to. I don't let the fear of being judged by a couple of men get to me anymore because I see these other men embracing it in front of millions.

How important do you think nontraditionally masculine representation and role models are?

I think it’s important to see a range of men with different physiques and different ways of expressing themselves, on a spectrum of gender presentation. There is no ideal ”male figure” . To be a man is not necessarily to be largely built, muscular, and very masculine. It’s important to know that there are multiple ways in which you can express yourself, and there is no right or wrong. Men can wear a suit if they want to, or wear a dress if they want to. I think it’s very important for young people to see that diversity to help them express themselves through fashion, hair, or personality, and find out who they are from a young age.

How important is the body in expressing yourself?

Sometimes I still struggle with the concept of expression through "body" over something like expression through fashion, because of traditionally masculine standards and the reinforcement of these standards within the industry that I was in. As a tradesman, you have to be seen as big and strong to look like you can even do the job. Some guys would look at you and if you weren't viewed as a strong masculine man, you would be doubted as to whether you were capable of doing the work.

How do labels impact selfexpression/perception?

I remember in high school, someone once told me that as a man I should go into a trade. They told me that it would “make a man” out of me, and that I shouldn’t waste my time with something like university. It was almost expected of me to follow a traditionally male job.

Once you ’re labeled in this way, and given this expectation, you tend to just follow the path marked out for you, and you don’t think about the other options out there. It’s toxic for young men to hear that, as a man you have to present yourself in a certain way, you have to act in a certain way, or you have to have a certain job. It makes you think of yourself as only a man with these certain traits, and nothing more. You think that you can’t deviate from these expectations because then you will no longer be a “man” .