MacDonald

Let’s Have a Hot Girl Summer!

Mary MaCdonald: frequent UWALL stalker, cheerleader, verified Chad and fat girl.

As summer draws near, the dreaded inconveniences it brings arrive as well. We’re talking about the chafing, the under-boob sweat, the swamp ass and, most importantly, the never-ending chafing. Did I say that already? Well, it’s the worst bit, it needed to be first and last.

So, as it draws near, let’s have a hot girl summer. Let’s avoid the awkward waddle-walk summer with a few of my verified fat girl tricks of the trade.

Under-boob sweat, firstly, is normal and, secondly, does not need to be explained in any way. However, it’s totally understandable if, like me, you despise it and just want to be the hot girl rocking the braless look! We do have a hack for you and promise it’s not some random Tik Tok one. To reduce underboob sweat , try the “Mitchum, clinical gel deodorant”. It’s a life saver, a miracle worker and just perfect even for the sweatiest and most sensitive people. Roll some of that on where you need it, wait five minutes and you’ll be good for the rest of the day.

Speaking of miracle workers, ever been in the gym sweating up a storm before suddenly noticing that the storm is more of a swamp down there? First again, it’s a normal thing to happen and is just one of the parts of being thick. There is nothing to be ashamed about. However, if you are trying to flirt with your Prince or Princess Charming at the gym, this gel deodorant once again comes in handy. We want nothing to hold you back so slap some of the “Mitchum, clinical gel deodorant” on the inner of your thighs (but far away from your ‘areas’) and you’ll be feeling more confident than ever.

Now for the devil itself, the chub rub, waiter butt, taco ass, sports nipple…whatever you want to call it. There are thousands of life hacks that I have tried to avoid this thick person problem yet not a single one has worked. Talcum powder? Works for five minutes. Deodorant? Doesn’t work full stop. Chub rub balm? Yeah right, an expensively useless product. The anti-chaff shorts? If I wanted to wear bike shorts, then I would already be wearing them. Let me tell you that miraculously, I have found the perfect product for you which I have been using for over a year. My 120kgs of verified fat girl will die saying this product is everything. The best bit is it’s cheap, will last you a long time, and smells amazing. Drumroll, for…“Palmer’s cocoa butter formula moisturising body oil”! I slap this on at the beginning of my day and do not need to re-apply at all. I want to clarify that I work events and some days can walk up to twenty kilometres, and am always in shorts. I also performed in cheer in front of 6000 people with this baby between my thighs, moving without the pain of rubbing. If you’re done struggling, grab some of this from your local Kmart, Coles or legit anywhere and use it so you can wear that cute outfit without a care in the world.

I hope this survival guide has helped you to live the hot girl summer we all need.

Love,

Verified Fat Girl.