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THELANCE DEC.12.2O12 VOL#85 • ISSUE#24 UWINDSORLANCE.CA
alt.
FOOD IDEAS pg.O8
local
gift
2O12 holiday guide
guide pg.O4
x-mas album reviews pg.O6
festive flicks pg.O6
keeping on
budget pg.O3
sage advice pg.O3
HAPPY HOLIDAYS from the Lance join us for a drink to celebrate the season on Dec. 20 {details to the right}
sage advice
festive
safety
helping you suffer the season in style
staying happy, healthy & wise under the influence of the holidays
SARAHOWIE arts editor ___________________________
DARRYLGALLINGER news editor ___________________________
Dear Lance,
Dear Lance,
I have a new boyfriend. He’s the nicest and I’m so happy to be dating him, but I don’t think my parents will think that. See, he happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. My family is super conservative and I know this won’t fly, which is the worst, because I think that if my family actually gave him a chance, they would love him! Help me!
So at my last friend Christmas party, I drank a little too much and said something I regretted. Specifically, I called an acquaintance of mine (read: sworn enemy) an “insufferable floozy” (read: I would tell you what I actually said but then you couldn’t publish it in the paper). So I still kind of hate this person but I regret saying these things and I don’t know how to take them back. How can I fix this?
-Heartbroken over the holidays Dear Heartbroken, I am all about people being themselves, but I get your situation. I am going to say that maybe you ask your significant other just this once to tone it down. First, tell your SO about your family, and that you really care about them, but you’re worried about what everyone else is going to think of his appearance. Odds are, if your SO cares, he’s going to get it and understand where you’re coming from. Then, talk about what he’ll wear when he meets your family. It’s the winter, so long sleeves aren’t out of the ordinary, plus they cover up whatever crazy roaring dragon sleeve they may have. The key is to tone it down, not to make this person look completely different from real life. If his person dresses super punk, ask them to wear their combat boots and lots of black, but maybe leave the hardcore band patch-covered jean jacket at home. If this person has 10 facial piercings, ask them to wear five. You want to give your family a taste of what this person is like without overloading them. Try and see if you can introduce this person to just your parents before they meet the extended family; it will be less stressful for everyone; especially your SO. Soon your family will get how awesome this person is, pleather commando jacket or not. Good luck!
-Regretfully Sober Hey Regretful, What you have to do won’t be pleasant. It’s time to suck up your feelings and bury them in a faraway land because you’re about to be really nice to this person. Text/Facebook/carrier pigeon them a message about seeing them in person; somewhere public, where things can’t get out of hand. The key is to keep this meeting as short as possible while still being sincere. Meet up with this person, buy the coffee (your treat, in to-go cups so you aren’t stuck there) and assess the situation. This person could have been really drunk too and forgot what happened. Tell them that you’re sorry. Be honest, and don’t use the phrase “I’m sorry, but” because that is not an apology, that is a slap in the face. Then, explain why you did it. Tell this person that you hope they can remain cordial, tell them you need to go to class, and get the eff out of there. Pat yourself on the back for being the mature adult in that situation. If s/he still can’t get over what you said, that’s on them and not you. And keep away from the booze next time.
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he holidays can be a hazardous time of year.
Even family dinners carry the occasional danger. The tradition of having two dinner guests pull apart the turkey wishbone while making a wish seems harmless, but this writer almost lost an eye during this long-time family activity. Fortunately, a near miss avoided a loss of depth perception. Save for freak accidents like those, a family function should be a safe time. But if, like me, you’re worried about poisoning dinner guests with your terrible cooking, check out The Lance’s holiday food guide (pg. 8) for some tasty and healthy dinner options. Of course, dangers can be found elsewhere as well. Avoid being trampled at the mall by shopping local or by making your own gifts. Use The Lance’s handy gift guide (pg. 4) to finish shopping for presents before that mad, last-minute rush. Many have chosen to avoid the giftbuying frenzy by shopping online. If you’re doing the same, conduct your e-shopping from a secure connection, preferably at home, instead of at a public wireless hotspot … this can expose your information to hijacking and other troubles. Consider adding security extensions such as HTTPS everywhere to your browser. This extension, which can be added to Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox, directs websites to automatically take you to the encrypted (HTTPS)
keep your cheque book in check budgeting: the less than jolly side of the season JONLIEDTKE features editor ________________________
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hile the holidays are about spending time with family, friends and loved ones, it’s undeniable the holiday season is also about spending money. Many people forget to adhere to a budget and end up overspending. “It’s not too late in the season to set a budget, which is really the important thing,” said Kelli Grant of SmartMoney. com, adding, “It’s a good idea to sit down and make a list of
the expenses that you have … people usually tend to forget about things like cards, holiday travel, decoration, new outfits for holiday parties.” On the list, be sure to detail what you want to spend on and balance that with how much money is available to you so you don’t run over budget.
put more on your credit card than you can pay off in a given month because a lot of the rates can be very high,” explained Grant. “You’re not really saving 30 to 40 per cent if in the end you’re paying a lot of interest on that card.”
Grant recommends consumers research whether or not a sale is the best sale, to seek out coupons and to take advantage of any sort of free reward programs offered.
Grant advises shoppers to be critical of sales and warns to avoid mindlessly buying items if their on sale “because we assume with all of these sales [that they are great deals], but there’s been a lot of studies that point to it’s not necessarily the best [time] for sales.”
“[Be] careful about spending. You want to be careful not to
“The bottom line is that you need to be critical of what you
portion of the site, which protects your communications online. Unfortunately, this only works with websites that offer this level of security. With a long semester and final exams put behind you, you’ll be eager to party. You deserve it, but whether you’re at home with all your friends or hitting your favourite club, drink responsibly. Don’t drink and drive— stay at a friend’s house, take a cab or pick a designated driver. While you may be desperate to make up for time spent with your nose in a book, be sure to exercise moderation. Eat a solid meal before you start consuming alcohol and space out your drinks with a glass of water between each one— this has the added benefit of saving you a few bucks. Many recommend the buddy system to prevent sexual assault, and The Lance couldn’t agree more. If you’re worried you won’t be able to hold yourself back from attacking someone, bring along a friend who will keep you in line. If a good friend isn’t available, you can also use a rape whistle to draw attention to yourself so you can get the help you need. Remember, you don’t have consent from a person if they can’t give it because they’re drunk, on drugs, sleeping or passed out. If you obtain consent through intimidation or other forms of coercion, you don’t have consent, and a person is welcome to change their mind at any time. Have a safe and happy holiday!
are buying to make sure that it is actually of value” said Grant. Budget Tips for the Holidays: DIY: You can go the Do It Yourself route and make a gift for someone. You can upcycle an old object into something new; think turning an old skirt into a decorative pillow case. Nothing says that you care more than a homemade gift that you put both time and effort into. Sales: Shop for the sales and discounts, but, as Grant warned, remain vigilant as oftentimes that sale isn’t the best price available. AVOID IMPULSE BUYING: Make a budget and a list, and ensure that you adhere to it. It’s easy to get out of hand purchasing gifts for those you care about, so make sure that
you stick to your budget. Keep track of your expenses with apps for your smartphone, such as Mint, a free app for the iPhone, or MoneyWise for Android users. Avoid last minute shopping: Buy as soon as possible. Retailers have been known to raise prices in the days before the holidays, so it’s best to buy early. Credit card responsibility: Don’t overcharge to your charge card. Interest rates are incredibly high on the majority of credit cards, sometimes between 19 and 28 per cent. As Grant noted, that sale might end up costing you far more than you anticipated if you don’t pay your bill in full.
holidayhint Bicycle shops often heavily discount product before Christmas to make way for next year’s models. If may be a few months before cycling is fun again but you can save hundreds
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In the true spirit of giving, The Lance suggests supporting local shops and artisans this season. Avoid the throngs of people at the malls and big-box meccas and the boring retail choices therein, and get the warm and fuzzy feeling that your money is supporting our community.
thelance
holiday gift guide
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Too much tinsel? Shade your eyes in designer frames from Prada, Paul Smith, Ray Ban and more $50-$700 @ Visions of Canada, 80 Park St. W., visionsofcanada.com • 3. Spin some hot wax on a cold night: Crosley retro turntables $99-$179 @ Dr. Disc Records, 471 Ouellette Ave, drdiscrecords.com • 4. Turn your holidays up to 11 with new and vintage guitars $100-$2,000 @ Riverside Guitar Shop, 4774 Wyandotte E., riversideguitarshop.com • 5. Think global, act local, look great: silk scarf, embroidered box and earring set $40 @ Ten Thousand Villages, 624 Chilver Ave., tenthousandvillages.ca • 6 & 7. Get clean and dirty in the bath with a vibrating duck and tantric juices made to get you or a friend in the giving mood $30 & $15 @ Maxine’s Adult Playground, 323 Ouellette Ave., maxinesadultplayground.com • 8. Put a lid on it. Vintage and locally made boxes and accessories $5-$50 @ Full Circle Vintage, 570 University Ave. W. • 9. Leave the preservatives at the grocery store and pop open a jar of local goodness: canned fruits and jams $3$11 @ The Twisted Apron General Store, 1833 Wyandotte St. E., thetwistedapron.com • 10. Say good-buy to a downtown staple with 50-90 per cent discounts on high-end jewelry, dinnerware and collectables $20-$5,000+ @ Shanfields-Meyers, 188 Ouellette Ave., shanfields.net • 11. Go all original with budget priced art 99¢-$99 @ Artcite Inc., 109 University Ave. W., artcite.ca • 12. Warm up with a some hot vintage finds. $5-$300 @ Jones & Co. Vintage, 1755 Wyandotte St. E., jonesvintage.com • 13. Put a superhero in your stocking $1-$100 @ Border City Comics, 1984 Wyandotte St. E. • 14. Pour your own pint of cheer with Windsor mirco-brews $13 @ Walkerville Brewery, 525 Argyle Rd., walkervillebrewery.com • 15. Hold the Phone! Retro phone attachment for mobile phones $29 @ Poppy Paperie & Gifts, 1823 Wyandotte St. E. • 16. Warm up in style with Dilly Daisy’s faux fur capelets and muffs @ Full Circle Vintage, 570 University Ave. W. and dillydaisy.com • 17. Rock some pumped up kicks to brighten up your winter: Adidas Jeremy Scott Instinct hi-tops @ BB Branded, 347 Ouellette Ave., bbbranded.com • 18. The gift that keeps on giving ... smaller and smaller. Russian Dolls direct from Saint Petersburg $39 @ Casa Chavela, 405 Pelissier St. • 19. Branch out with locally hand-made ornaments on the tree $3-$15 @ Nancy Johns’ Gallery, 755 Wyandotte St. E., nancyjohns.com
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u assembled by Stephen Hargreaves • photos Jay Verspeelt
1. Roll around the Christmas tree on a modern classic: Norco CityGlide $535-$889 @ Courtesy Bicycles, 3154 Sandwich St., courtesybicycles.ca • 2.
A Home of Our Own • courtesy Gramercy Pictures
holiday film
&jeers
fears, tears Black
christmas
a home of our own
go
{1993}
{1974}
{1999}
NATASHAMARAR editor-in-chief ___________________________
Black Christmas
A Home of Our Own
Go
he holidays are synonymous with folks cuddled under blankets by the fire while watching Christmas movies. Festive films such as How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life are well and good. But films filled with generosity, compassion, love and family are pretty cliche this time of year. If you’re looking to displace some holiday comfort for thrills, tears and Christmas fear, look no further.
The 1980s was all over Christmas slasher films, but many credit this forgotten holiday horror with the birth of the genre. Black Christmas is a dark and mysterious Canadian flick about a serial killer that targets women at their sorority house Christmas party. The bodies pile up as creepy calls are made to the house— this may explain the theme behind Wes Craven’s Scream franchise. Black Christmas is a cult classic that deserves a viewing. Just make sure to stay clear of its ill-conceived 2006 remake.
O.K. so A Home of Our Own isn’t an entirely Christmas movie, but pivotal scenes take place on the festive day. Kathy Bates is excellent as a hardened widow and mother to six children. She moves the poor family from L.A. to a shack in Idaho that she’s determined to rebuild into a home. The kids slave away to build the house through the winter and you would think they’d be rewarded with Christmas gifts. Nope, momma just gives them boxes of nails and a hammer; “gifts for the house” she says. Be thankful if you have gifts, because this film gets more depressing before it gets better.
Go is action comedy about the Christmas Eve shenanigans of a group of young adults in L.A. This film has everything your holiday is likely missing: drug deals gone wrong, an awkward Christmas dinner, a rave party, strip club shooting and Las Vegas adventures that include a threesome and hotel room fire. Staring a young Katie Holmes, Sarah Polley and Jay Mohr, Go is a frenzied affair that will make you long for a more interesting Christmas Eve.
T
(1974)
More Christmas horror: Rare Exports (2010) Jack Frost (1996) Gremlins (1984)
(1993)
More Christmas drama: A Christmas Tale (2008) Millions (2004) Love Actually (2003)
all i want for christmas is to
(1999)
More Christmas action: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) Batman Returns (1992) Die Hard (1988)
not have to hear mariah carey
alternatives to the standard festive radio MADIHAKHAN lance writer ______________________________
AMBERSHEARER lance writer ______________________________
SARAHOWIE arts editor ______________________________
V/A
HEY ROSETTA!
SAID THE WALE
(Independent)
(Warner Music)
(Independent)
Hey! It’s Christmas Vol. 3 It’s the time of year when the sound waves become over-saturated with the holiday themed crooning of various pop stars. And while Mariah’s Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” might be a timeless classic to some, there is relief for those who hunger for something more refreshing. Hey, It’s Christmas! Volume 3 is a compilation of holiday themed songs from various independent artists, offering a new take on an old classic. The genres differ widely, with everything from nostalgic country folk to dreamy indie-pop being represented, but the album as a whole still manages to give off warm old-fashioned Christmas vibes that can’t help but fill even the most Grinch-like of listeners with the holiday spirit.
A Cup Of Kindness Yet The same old classic Christmas songs played on repeat can get old fast. Hey Rosetta! is here to give you something new. With their new EP, A Cup of Kindness Yet, the Newfie indie band brings a new feel to Christmas music in creating something that not only puts the listener in the holiday mood, but can also be listened to year round. The EP begins with “Carry Me Home,” which is perfect to listen to while decorating your tree or making a gingerbread house with the family. The song is happy and uplifting; the perfect substitute for classic Christmas music.
The standout songs of the album are Danny Leggett’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” a breathy acoustic version of the classic, and a distorted, electronic rendition of “Christmas Time is Here” by Tinsley.
If you’re looking for a more traditional option, the band also covers “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.” “The First Snow” is a slow ballad, written more to recall Christmases past, then the one coming. The final song of the EP, “New Year Song,” looks ahead while including a new take on the classic “Aude Lang Syne.”
Listeners looking for a more alternative take on holiday music will be completely satisfied by this album, which is available for free download on heyitschristmas.com.
“A Cup of Kindness Yet” is a fresh take on Christmas that is worth the listen for anyone looking to get away from “O Holy Night” and “Silent Night” this Christmas season.
West Coast Christmas EP Said the Whale is a band known for being poignant and sweet, invoking feelings of first loves and grand adventures. Their EP, West Coast Christmas, continues their annual tradition of releasing an original holiday EP, started in 2009. The last two Christmas EPs have been quiet and thoughtful. This one is a palette cleanser; it’s experimental and a little dancey. Ben Worchester starts the EP off with heartfelt vocals, but is eventually accompanied and then taken over by Tyler Bancroft and backed up by drummer Spencer Schoening. This diversity of talent is also showcased in their last album, Little Mountain, and it works well in both cases. The last song of the EP, “Hope and Peace” is a little whacky; it’s warped and sounds like it’s been sung through a tube with added distortion. The nine-bit sounding beat unifies the song, but confuses the listener. The song just doesn’t fit. Altogether, West Coast Christmas is charming, quick, and serves as a break from the millions of covers sang of the same old songs.
thelance
holiday food ideas
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avish feasts with friends and family define December holiday celebrations of all kinds. From Christmas classics such as roast turkey with cranberry sauce to the savoury, spicy African dishes of Kwanzaa, the holidays are a wonderful time to celebrate tradition with familiar foods and, perhaps, a few new dishes. The Lance editors worked hard in the kitchen to create comforting meals that can be shared at the tables of those celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice.
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1. Vegan feast Seitan roulade with mushroom spinach stuffing Baby hasselback potatoes Chili almond asparagus
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2. Savoury Christmas Herb crusted lamb chops Green beans in wine vinaigrette Mushroom Parmesan risotto 3. CHRISTMAS ROAST Roasted herb chicken with vegetables Thyme potato stacks
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4 & 7 Chinese Winter Solstice Pork and ginger dumplings (4) Glutinous rice balls with sweet red bean (7)
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5. Kwanzaa harvest Sweet and spicy African soup 6. Hanukkah classic Potato latkes Find the full recipes on our website at uwindsorlance.ca/ holiday.
5 u recipes and photos Natasha Marar and Sara Howie • layout Stephen Hargreaves
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