5 minute read
The Disrespectful Question – Yvonne E. Silver
THE DISRESPECTFUL QUESTION:
by Yvonne Silver
Founder and CEO, Women and Wisdom Media Ladies - have you ever had a female friend confide in you that they cannot leave a relationship (whether it is an unhappy marriage or an abusive scenario) because they “can’t afford to leave”? This is often the situation I hear being shared from colleagues and friends (or sometimes Clients). That not having their own high earned income, causes them to stay longer when they know the relationship has soured. Knowing you can support yourself matters, especially for women who are raising conscious children and role modeling strength and independence for their children.
This was my Mum’s fate... Growing up in London in England, with a father who returned from World War 2 with PTSD, I watched him drain the dignity right out of my Mum, until she became a fragile shell of the professional woman she once was. She became a stay-at-home Mum without her own earnings, relying on a meagre housekeeping allowance from my Father, she lost her personal power. She also lost her voice and her will to speak up as he was constantly angry and criticizing her, or us, and even took the car keys and would not let her drive the car (that she taught him how to drive). He took away her power and her freedom. After watching my Mum suffering from his abuse, and losing her dignity, I swore I was never going to let that happen to me. I chose jobs in sales early in my career, then in human resources, so I could help women learn how to make a great income and retain their financial freedom and power. I rose up from adversity (he turned on me when I was age 11 too, and I lost my voice in fright) to help women to stand up, to be heard and use powerful language to succeed in life and business. Today as an Executive Coach for Women, I teach women to flourish in business so they can have a high income as entrepreneurs or as professional women, to retain our freedom of choice.
In the mid-1980’s, I joined a rapidly expanding IT consulting firm. As an HR Professional hosting interviews for a cash-conscious start-up, I asked one particular question frequently as I interviewed IT professionals. “What are your salary expectations?” At the time, it seemed like an innocent question, and yet, as research has shown us many years later, that question is irrelevant – even damaging to ask, especially for women.
As an Executive Coach, I am often asked “how can I have more confidence, or be more confident?”
Knowing you can support yourself and your children grounds your confidence as you are confident that you can look after yourself and not rely on a spouse or partner.
When going for a job interview, how can you respond if you are asked this question? Each employer has different base salary bands or classifications, has varied health and benefit programs, and has different short and long-term incentive programs (such as RRSP matching or paid tuition, which may be linked to revenue or profit goals). Comparing salaries is like comparing apples and oranges – they are simply different. Here are three tips:
1. Do your own research first to learn the market trends and the average salary range for the role being applied for. 2. At the interview when asked about previous salary, reply that “I am sure that your firm pays competitive wage. My research has shown the market data for this role is between
X and Y (state the salary range data). As a progressive employer who values diversity, based on my years of industry experience,
I would anticipate being closer to the top of that range as a starting salary, and am open to exploring your total compensation package at a final interview.” If the salary offered is lower than desirable, inquire if you can have a salary review at 3 or 6-months after joining the organization. 3. Be clear about what the specific responsibilities, and the KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) are by inquiring “after my initial 3-months of employment, what success measures will be evaluated?” Often the interviewer is not clear on how the role will be measured, which can be an indicator of short-term thinking vs. a great place to build a career.
In the United States, 21 States have banned this previous or current salary question. (https:// www.hrdive.com/news/salary-history-banstates-list/516662/) Using these approaches, I have helped Clients secure new more responsible roles with a significant salary increase. Asking for at least $10K more than your current role pays is recommended, although a 50% higher salary has been achieved through confidence coaching.
When you can clearly state your value, your results, your Unique Value Proposition based on clear metrics (increased revenue, decreased costs, reduced employee attrition, increased client referrals) you can demonstrate your value more easily. Track your results throughout the year, include team comments, supervisor praise and customer testimonials, adding all these supporting evidence factors to your “impact file”. Employers often base a starting salary on someone’s previous earnings, so at each job, the gender pay gap continues, and it becomes seemingly impossible for women to catch up.
According to an article in The New York Times (The Upshot - How a Common Interview Question Hurts Women) women continue to earn less than men, for a variety of reasons including work force interruptions (pregnancy leave) and working shorter hours. It also stated that women are also likelier than men to work in lower-paying jobs like those in public service, care-giving and the non-profit sector.
How can you earn your worth? Know your value and be prepared to respond to the salary question using the approaches above, and set yourself up for success in your next role.
About Yvonne Yvonne E.L. Silver is a sought-after Speaker, Bestselling Author, Radio Show/podcast Host, women's Certified Executive Coach, and Mentorship Chair, who was recognized with a "2019 Women of Inspiration" Award. She is the author of the bestselling book: “Words, Women & Wisdom: The Modern Art of Confident Conversations”
