V Magazine - Autumn 2021 by V Magazine UVA

Editor’s Note When we first received an invitation to run V Mag, there was the excitement of entering a role with such creative license over a truly special platform. After the celebrations settled, and we saw the height of such a feat ahead of us, a deep fear took residence in the pits of our stomachs. How do we run the only arts and culture print publication on campus? How does one even print a magazine? Are we in over our heads? The answers to these questions can be found on page 49 (We’re kidding, we just wanted you to see a glimpse of our team’s gorgeous work). In all honesty, we spent hours sorting the technicalities out, working with our predecessors, and the great minds on our staff to carry on the torch of V Mag. In August, we sat and discussed with everyone what they envisioned for this issue and what came to be is the result of a series of conversations. We knew we wanted to expand a platform which centered student artists and creatives, without limitations on anyone’s expression. Thus, what we have developed and printed here is a mosaic of cool shit; there is no singular machine behind it, but a collective and several collaborations. The theme of this issue is in fact the product of such exchange of ideas. With CHRYSALIS, V Mag provokes the concept of change, rebirth, and identity negotiation. As we continue to experience the evolution of a pandemic and the drastic effects of COVID, the motif of change became exceedingly present. It seems as though we exist on perpetually unstable grounds and the only thing we have control over is ourselves. During the lockdown, many of us reflected on our identities, who we are and who we want to become. This resulted in many experimental hair dying jobs, bleached eyebrows, gender and sexual awakening, wardrobe remodels, political enlightenment. This is an extremely privileged position to be in and conversations of change and evolution must not be solely directed inward. We should all be thinking about the breaking ceilings, doors, and structures which encourage us to be stagnant (and remembering to lend a hand to peers while doing so). Transformation is key to both our individual and communal liberations. Our two photoshoots have the ideas of identity and change in mind. We have a wicked school yearbook where we imagined the students to be prepping for an apocalypse (or perhaps a revolution?) and a group of people covered in fluids to bring to mind the very nature of (re)birth. To aid these visuals, we have phenomenal prose and poetry, editorials, and artworks which are fantastic. We are immensely thankful for everyone who helped with the shoots, everyone who wrote or contributed art to this issue, and the editors and designers who made it a tangible magazine. We hope you enjoy. 1 Myka and Emily

chrys·a·lis a quiescent insect pupa, especially of a butterfly or moth. the hard outer case enclosing a chrysalis. a transitional state. (Oxford Dictionary)

CHRYSALIS PLAYLIST..................................3 CREATIVE WRITING....................................5 ATROPHY ACADEMY..................................13 TIKTOKERS IN HIGH FASHION...............27 chloe becker SOLACE IN LIMINAL SPACE......................29 adina mobin SOUTHERN GOTHIC ..................................31 mary kurbanov THE C WORD..............................................33 shade BRINGING BACK THE BUTTERFLY.........35 lu mackenzie STUDENT ART.............................................37 FECUND FEELINGS.....................................41 FEELINGS Editors In Chief: Emily Bekker and Myka Greene Features Editors: Loree Seitz, Katherine Hansen, Chloe Becker Creative Writing Editor: Jo Clark Designers: Rachel Crawford, Macy Brandon, Mia Gualtieri, Alex Yun, Annabel Gleason Production: Shayna Gomez, Vani Agarwal, Kate Long, Xueer Zhang Social Media: Charlotte Giff

the playlist 1. red room - hiatus kaiyote 2. binz - solange 3. lessons from my mistakes... but i lost your number... - liv.e 4. lala - rico nasty 5. leave me alone - kari faux 6. didn’t cha know - erykah badu 7. strawberry priviledge - yves tumor 8. brakhage - stereolab 9. shadow’s legitimate mix - zimbabwe legit 10. crust - flying lotus 11. sugar water - cibo matto 12. soulseek - blue iverson 13. drip bounce_7_24_18 - toro y moi 14. vomets - standing on the corner

This playlist is inspired by the ooze and slime of the liquefied butterfly in the pupal stage of its metamorphosis. The genre-bending songs range from neo soul searching, to sample-heavy plunderphonics, to experimental, lo-fi, spoken word collage; their inbetweenness mimics that of the butterfly’s evolution and the individual and cultural revolutions underway in the wake of the covid-19 pandemic.

Heading Home from (Meridian Hill) Malcolm X Park

The poster read: “Riot! Riot! Riot! Riot!” on land first stolen from the Anacostans “Riot! Riot! Riot! Riot!” by the Black neighborhood evicted for thirteen-basin cascading fountains and white tears seeping from statues sitting stoically. We walked out with blackberries crushed into our soles wondering if Dante knows he stands in the seventh circle.

by: Mesina

We took a beating from the sun and the 30S route home. My arms were brown and bruised under those fluorescent white lights flickering to the sting of a perfectly automated voice ringing. Behind the mural of fingerprints white museums, white monuments white house gated. Further down, cardboard houses painted in black ink cut out from the people who shop down M St. Our trip paid with a thanks the house an alley away its bones bent and fractured squealing with every step. The walls speak back in scars of the past as eye dilate in and out of time listening to the four lungs below exchange a warm breath as the tv remembers his name in perfect vision. May stumbles into June while the rainbow outside wavers by a porch dusted gold. The bees are home but no longer buzzing. The street is quiet and open for touring.

AAgirl, swingwith withthree threeshards shardsofofmulch mulchstuck stuck girl,approximately approximatelyeight eight years years old, sits on aa swing inin her They wedge wedgeininbetween between toes, pressing theflesh soft there. flesh She there. She herleft leftsneaker. sneaker. They herher toes, pressing into into the soft conconsiders taking off her shoe to remove the intrusions, but she’s convinced that removing siders taking off her shoe to remove the intrusions, but she’s convinced that removing that that barrier cause mulch to amass her sneakers. The sensation of piecjagged barrier willwill cause eveneven moremore mulch to amass in herin sneakers. The sensation of jagged pieces of wood snagging onpolyester the polyester her day-of-the-week socks (Thursday) es of wood snagging on the fibersfibers of herof day-of-the-week socks (Thursday) overovertakes if walking around playground barefoot, soles feet takes her.her. As As if walking around thethe playground barefoot, sheshe cancan feelfeel thethe soles of of herher feet moldaround aroundthe thelumps lumps and and ridges ridges of coarse mold coarse mulch, mulch,the thecool coolwetness wetnessofofmud muddampening dampening heryoung youngcalluses, calluses,formed formedfrom from games of freeze grey her freezetag tagand andbasement basementdance dancerecitals. recitals.The The grey skiesare arebeginning beginningto togrumble, grumble, and and she feels the eyelashes. skies thefirst firstdrops dropsofofcool coolrain raingraze grazeher her eyelashes. Watchher her get get ready for eighth grade. Observe the way the an-the Watch for her herfirst firstday dayof of eighth grade. Observe the she waycovers she covers gry red herher cheeks with a Maybelline concealer two two shades too dark, adjusts the angry redcysts cystsonon cheeks with a Maybelline concealer shades too dark, adjusts socks she’s stuffed inside her her training bra, bra, and and passionately lip syncs a popasong the socks she’s stuffed inside training passionately lip syncs pop into songher into hairbrush as she dances around the room. She is the kind of thirteen year old who looks her hairbrush as she dances around the room. She is the kind of thirteen year old who thirteen. On her lie the lie books shethat furtively reads under sheetsher until 3 looks thirteen. Onnightstand her nightstand the that books she furtively readsher under sheets a.m.3Love in particular, are her are favorite; she is in she loveiswith the idea love. She until a.m.stories, Love stories, in particular, her favorite; in love withofthe idea ofhas love. not yet graduated to adult romances (words like ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ still make her squeaShe has not yet graduated to adult romances (words like ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ still make her mish), but tends to gravitate to books about teenage lovelove in in thethe summer, with bicycles squeamish), but tends to gravitate to books about teenage summer, with bicycles or ice cream comes on the cover. Predictable, lighthearted stories with simple problems or ice cream comes on the cover. Predictable, lighthearted stories with simple problems andidealized idealizedboys. boys.Boys Boys with with good good hearts hearts who and who kiss kiss you youjust justfor forthe thesake sakeofofkissing kissingyou. you.

See her braces braces off off for foronly onlyfour four Seethe thegirl girlon onher herfirst firstdate dateever. ever. She She has has had had her months, and can’t stop running her tongue along the slick, smooth surface months, and can’t stop running her tongue along the slick, smooth surface ofofherher front teeth. The boyboy hashas taken herher to the pizza parlor in the mall front teeth. The taken to the pizza parlor in strip the strip a few He hasHe justhas gotten his driver’s license mallmiles a fewfrom milestheir fromneighborhood. their neighborhood. just gotten his driver’s and is still learning how to brake without jolting the entire car. Puberty has license and is still learning how to brake without jolting the entire car. Puelongated his limbs, and he is still learning how to maneuver them. She berty has elongated his limbs, and he is still learning how to maneuver them. watches as he awkwardly slidesslides into the booth at theatrestaurant. Dim She watches as he awkwardly intocorner the corner booth the restaurant. ceiling lights illuminate the yellowing grapevine wallpaper and her Dim ceiling lights illuminate the yellowing grapevine wallpaper andhighher top sneakers slip around on theon uneven linoleum floors. TheirTheir conversation high-top sneakers slip around the uneven linoleum floors. converis sation stunted, rife withrife tense and forced laughter at not-funny jokes. is stunted, withsilences, tense silences, and forced laughter at not-funny Contrary to the countless descriptions of men’s eyes that readread over jokes. Contrary to the countless descriptions of men’s eyes she’s that she’s the years, his eyes do not feelfeel likelike home. hungry,and and over the years, his eyes do not home.They Theyare are assailing, assailing, hungry, toogreen greentotolook lookinto intofor forextended extended periods periods of time. too time. Still, Still, when whenhis hishands hands begintotoroam roamon onthe thedrive drive home, home, she she doesn’t stop him. begin him. She She climbs climbsover over thecenter centerconsole, console,into intothe thebackseat backseat of of his his Prius. She the She loses loses her hervirginity virginityinin lesstime timethan thanitittakes takestotofinish finish aa precalculus precalculus worksheet. less worksheet. He He will willsend sendher her three texts over the next week, and she will not respond to any of them. three texts over the next week, and she respond to any of them.

Case Study of a Girl by Alexandra Tran

She thought that she she would would feel feel different different afterward. Changed, somehow, somehow, initiating initiating h metamorphosis into her into aa desired desired thing. thing. B she is no more But more adept adeptat atrecognizing recognizingred red fl than she is at flags at purchasing purchasinglacy lacyred redbras. bras.

Pinch the base of the nose, flare the nostrils, rePinch the base of the nose, flare the nostrils, repeat for peat for fifty repetitions. This is the recipe for a fifty repetitions. This is the recipe for a smaller nose smaller nose tip, according to a YouTube video she tip, according YouTube video watched. She watched. She to hasa been doing this she exercise several has been doing this exercise several times a day times a day for the past week, charting her prog-for the charting her progress scientific resspast withweek, scientific precision. The skinwith on the sides precision. Thehave skin begun on the to sides of herand nose havefrom begun of her nose purple bruise tothe purple and bruise from the force of her pinching. force of her pinching. She has convinced herShe that having a small, dainty selfhas thatconvinced having a herself small, dainty nose would greatly nose wouldher greatly improve her and quality of living, and improve quality of living, beauty is pain, beauty is pain, after all. Her mother responded after all. Her mother responded to her lamentsto her laments about having an by ugly noseher by telling her about having an ugly nose telling that she that get rhinoplasty whenturns she turns twentycanshe getcan rhinoplasty when she twenty-one. one. girlnow hasentered now entered she The The girl has college, college, where shewhere discovdiscovers that the boys are, in fact, exactly like those ers that the boys are, in fact, exactly like those in inhigh highschool. school.IfIfnot notworse. worse.Pay Payspecial specialnotice noticetotothethe cessation consumption ofoflove lovestories. stories. cessationofof the the girl’s consumption

The girl has discovered a new passion in The girl cardboard has discovered a new passion in crecreating sculptures. She makes ating cardboard sculptures. She makes rudirudimentary Eiffel Towers and elephants. mentary Eiffel Towers and elephants. Now, Now, she is trying to make a threeshe is trying to make a three-dimensional dimensional adaptation of Picasso’s Guernica. adaptationtellsof her Picasso’s Everyone Everyone that sheGuernica. has the mind of tells her that she has the mind of a true a true artist, that she is in possession of artist, real that she is in possession real talent. Brilliant, talent. Brilliant, masterfulofwork. She could be masterful work. She could be a true artist she a true artist if she so desired. When she iflies desired. When lies these in bed at night, she insobed at night, sheshe traces compliments traces these compliments onto the bare skin of onto the bare skin of her stomach and mouths her stomach and mouths the words as if she the words as if she could hear them for the could hear them for the first time again. She first time again. She repeats them over and repeats them over and over again, working on over again, working on getting the inflections getting the inflections just right until she falls just right until she falls asleep. Great work, asleep. Great work, great work, great work, great great work, great work, great work. She work. She rereads academic praises from her rereads academic praises from her professors, professors, goes through screenshots of text mesgoes through screenshots of text messages sages calling her beautiful and funny and lovable. calling her beautiful and funny and lovable.

Sheisistold toldthat thatshe shemust muststop stop making making the the cardboard sculptures She sculptures the the summer summerbefore beforeher herfirst firstyear year lawschool. school.ItItwould wouldoccupy occupy too too much much of her valuable time, atatlaw time, her her mother mothersays. says.The Thegirl girlwaves waves herwhite whiteflag flagofofagreement. agreement.She Sheclimbs climbsup upthe thestairs, stairs,slowly, slowly,totothe theguest guestbedroom bedroomwhere whereallallof her of her projects are housed. A cardboard louvre. Calmly, methodically, she disassembles everyher projects are housed. A cardboard louvre. Calmly, methodically, she disassembles everything thing that she’s spent the past couple of years creating. She dismantles her cardboard monuthat she’s spent the past couple of years creating. She dismantles her cardboard monuments ments andanimals. safari animals. She places the puzzle of their corpses bed.Then Thenthere thereis and safari She places the puzzle piecespieces of their corpses on on thethe bed. is Guernica, still unfinished. It is too big and too ornate to be taken apart in a timely fash-so Guernica, still unfinished. It is too big and too ornate to be taken apart in a timely fashion, ion, so she grabs hold of the uppermost part of the sculpture and presses down–hard. It she grabs hold of the uppermost part of the sculpture and presses down–hard. It folds folds in on in onwith itself,satisfying with satisfying popssnaps and snaps as glue breaks cardboard becomes manitself, pops and as glue breaks apartapart and and cardboard becomes mangled. gled. Three trash are bagsrequired are required to transport fragmentsoutside, outside, where where they Three trash bags to transport all all of of thethefragments they line linethe the curb and will be retrieved by recycling collection services to be baled, shredded, and pulped. curb and will be retrieved by recycling collection services to be baled, shredded, and pulped.

Watch as the woman stays up until 3 a.m. reading case documents. Watch as the woman stays up until 3 a.m. reading case documents. Her eighty-hour workweeks don’t allow her to meet many eligible Her eighty-hour workweeks don’t allow her to meet many eligible men anymore, so she has resorted to creating a dating profile on men anymore, so she has resorted to creating a dating profile on eHareHarmony. For reasons she can’t explain, she does not consider it mony. For reasons she can’t explain, she does not consider it digdignified. She deletes and recreates her account a multitude of times. nified. She deletes and recreates her account a multitude of times. The woman has been toying with a new word each night, spinster. The woman has been toying with a new word each night, spinster. But, after But, after much deliberation, she will conclude that she doesn’t much deliberation, she will conclude that she doesn’t particularly mind her particularly mind her own company. She’s taken up pottery now. own company. She’s taken up pottery now. She’s learning how to paint. Perhaps She’s how paint. Perhaps she’ll adoptspent a cat. Andonce-covwith the she’ll learning adopt a cat. Andtowith the money that she never on the money that she never spent on the once-coveted rhinoplasty, she eted rhinoplasty, she plans to purchase a cruise to Thailand, where she will plans to purchase a cruise to Thailand, where she will lean against lean against the railing to watch schools of silvery fish swim past the prow. the railing to watch schools of silvery fish swim past the prow.

I want to stop for a moment and talk about yesterday’s dandelion its petals slashing the breeze but letting the water sit in its stead because there’s something not right in this world like the spider who crawled into my solo cup when I didn’t realize and then drowned but I didn’t mean to let that happen because why would I smother something that’s so nothing and then go on with my day like it was nothing like when they snuffed a man through the lens of a phone and we all shared it like it was nothing like when my grandmother’s lungs breathed their last feather to the wind like it was nothing but I wasn’t there and so she faded into nothing like yesterday’s dandelion today’s words and tomorrow’s thoughts like me too who will one day

Prayer

be nothing. 9

Maddie Stokes

on o m e h t o t s letter la white by kay

e lilacs. xt to th . I’ll clip the e N . n e iling e gard ve in th nd firm and sm y afternoon lo d e w o a d ds b We s e presse collect the see ink about r a s t o o The r ning, n’t th rease the mor fattest. We wo ma H in the g ing n i ls a t a e e p do M th ing, lips . One e sun is . We’ll think of g h t n i n w e s h s w et m back, hip w. Not y hum, hu tomorro h her hair tied mming: hum, . Are they es wit hu kitchen . All the nds these rhym oolhouse on g n i m fi h um all the h her where she hop? Or the sc each song s k s ’s a p T l a y h ed day I’l th Jimm ’s corner? She s rying to stir up a e n e b hidden St. Augustine ut e she’s t ips. Lik is dead now. B r h O e ? h t in a n e M h H t a , s hand e. Mam nd the with the from the grav of the hands a ven s ea ly et the secr ink of that: on n how to call H got I held th ar for th we don’t . One day I’ll le everything we a gainst e sun in m t ot ng i a o r h m t n g m u y han u in d h h n poetr my heart. ds. . Everyt arden for palms a k y s a m y Y o h t — o it u’ll re And the m w t he sw how he g t w o I t o n n c i me k oo a k e ’t rr y th ac the or didn e poe et air again mber the n ’ll sow b Deep, deep, in . e A w , g d m e ainst st o s in th wasted time gift new to grow. e fold ur skin. M the w that dark g body g n i n t i t so h o e, t r a c e y e o som are to our love c ver of sile n my eyeli rts of th a p o N d . n o u s spine love. young, yo rled into r ce, I watch . u’ll te We, I h e d y m e. But ’ll cor ll me, some you rec to th to soi ing here, w t. And may understan d l, b h kind to dust, an ere our bl e there is ack b of bro d to E od w a I thin k, ma n that turn rth. We are ies turn y be o s grey this ty the pa ur in p l And i e of love, b bodies don the eveni e n s that ’t ut we g. unde n eyes f c all up ot love? Is an count t rstand on th he sta love n the sk os e rs. ot y. is poe I close my tiny word the way o ur s tr e fatigu y reaching yes—and dancing in again ed, bo for ou ,t d and y ou’ll r ies. I reme r young, fo here em ro m are de ad no ember th ber the we ur at sile w. Bu t gras t I wa nt bre s som nt ez you— ething stil to think th e. You l bre that ere unspo ken w heart hea ezing insid is vy wi ords. e of every th to It is th in the ing unsaid funny, isn o many ’t it? che wil about ourse st—the mo l die with u How lves a re alw st interesti s. Buried n ays sh rivele g things d to d usk.

GOING FORTH BY DAY My heart my mother, my heart my mother, my heart my coming into being. The Egyptian Book of the Dead Spellbound: pinc louds plays a masked audience in tompkins I embrace Gaia for the first time since march: we, dancing: turning, turning, turning Yes, everyone I have ever loved contains a little piece of god For Gaia it is somewhere between their tongue & waist, the way their laugh splits apart at the seams Imagine there is nothing between you & god & smoking a blunt is an exercise in conversing with the dead, in going forth by day: Turning, turning, turning Gaia feels faint, laying their head against my legs Yes, you will need to be spellbound, you will need to dance a little, you will need to laugh

by: lily franks

13 cicadas on 14th street Ryan y Winegardner i. thirteen cicadas on a dying dogwood tree scream into the night. ii. coyote stands under a lamplight on the corner listening to the cicadas; he has three bags and they’re all empty; across the street — on the stoop people listen to soapy music and stare. iii. a bus rolls through to the beat of jazz it stops — apostasy — and creaks past; the air is warm. the guitar whispers; two squirrels — hunched together build their nest. iv. Raise High the roofbeam, carpenters! Ares rises in the sky; behind closed doors the Head of the Chamber of Commerce beats two lepers senseless. v. worms take the sidewalk in ecstasy while water drowns the earth the worms squirm and squirm and squirm and in the end they’re coaxed to crushing sidewalks — but at least they have their ecstasy. vi. the shadow of the Parthenon looms over the town; a racoon roots trash in its umbra while Minerva, Rockefeller, and Jefferson hunch around a coffee pot talking about tin-armor ideals, million-dollar opera halls, pomp and Parousia, and somewhere, the racoon scavenges his family’s breakfast.

vii. two birds cry across indigo gloom; a light in the window goes on and the song echoes down the road. viii. the moon’s reflection splays on a dirty roadside puddle; between the moon and its image buzzes a cloud of gnats in heat. ix. the moon and the sun are yoked together by myriad rope — an ox dying in the field like Ganymede dancing under Zeus’s throne; seven geese in V formation flying home; eleven bombers en echelon dropping their payload; thirteen cicadas hanging on a tree; or, the way one lover looks at the other while the world sleeps. x. the moon can’t catch the sun; the clouds roll through the sky; a flung beer bottle rises, catches the starlight, and shatters the silence of the night. xi. the rain falls green, and smells like arrows piercing flesh xii. coyote’s on the corner under a lamplight he looks left, he looks right, and… xiii. on the tree — thirteen husks whisper of the past, whisper to the future; down the road, coyote walks away.

Illustrations by Lucy Shichman

atrophy academy presents

class of 2051

Creative Direction: Myka Greene, Emily Bekker Photography: Leo Zhang Models: Kennedy Harmon, Maddie Wynne, Kennedy Davidson, Mesina, David Alston, Gabi Chu, Donavon Lea, Charlotte Giff, Sara Makarem, and Beatrix Ost Clothes from Arsenic and Old Lace

By Chloe Becker The Met Gala is arguably the most anticipated fashion event of the year. The ensembles worn by attendees take hours of craftsmanship to construct. Annual guest lists habitually boast names that connote undeniable and immeasurable power. However, this year’s list was less… enigmatic. The internet erupted into a flurry of commotion this past August, when the invitation list to the 2021 charity event was revealed. The 2021 Met Gala was to TikTokers as debutante balls are to the blonde elites of the south. That is, according to Vogue, a select number of teenage internet dancers and Hype House residents are now recognized members of society’s A-list sector. Addison Rae and Dixie D’Amelio, dressed in Tom Ford and Maison Valentino respectively, had their metaphoric coming of age parties this September at the Met.

power to everyday people and, in a rare anomaly to the rules of society, to masses of cosmopolitan youth. The culture of everyday society informs leaders in fashion on what pieces to produce. The rise in rapid exchanges of information through social media has resulted in a surge of young people’s power in fashion. In 2019, most TikTokers were everyday teenagers. With one million followers, Rae dropped out of LSU in October 2019, and, according to Forbes, brought in five million dollars of revenue by the end of the year. In 2021, TikTokers’ millions of subscribers — the consumers of a capitalist society — have minute by minute access to their daily fashion choices. TikTokers’ youthful insight can now be paired with access to levels of people attained only through extreme fame. The global, economic, and cultural impacts of this are anything but trivial.

Although the catalyst for widespread commentary, the Met Gala was not the first time this year TikTokers have had their relevance acknowledged in the high fashion sphere. Both Charli and Dixie D’Amelio have partnerships with Prada. Although her influence is not limited to TikTok, Emma Chamberlain has a longstanding relationship with Louis Vuitton. Chase Hudson, who goes by the TikTok pseudonym, “Lil Huddy,” was recently shadowed by Vogue for 24 hours. The experience was captured on camera and uploaded to the prestigious magazine’s Youtube channel, gaining almost 500,000 views at the time of writing. Even if only for the sake of symbiotic economic benefit, logical predictions point to an enduring — some might say chronic or lingering — relationship between TikTok creators and the world of high fashion.

Our society has been taught to be offended by the success of the untalented. The American Dream is so ingrained into our culture that anything not earned by pure grit and lengthy dedication seems unfair. The severe criticism of TikTokers is a perfect contemporary example of this phenomenon. A quick search on Twitter leads to thousands of similarly harsh tweets, such as, “TikTokers at the Met Gala are the real pandemic,” and, “Why are [TikTokers] at Paris and New York Fashion Week? There is nothing high fashion about them???” In the past, Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, and other reality stars endured similar backlash. However, when asked to summarize fashion in the first decade of the 21st century, most would describe the tracksuits, kitten heels, and trucker hats adorned by the stars of “The Simple Life” and “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” When attempts are made in the future to define the fashion of this decade, TikTokers could very well be at the center of that discussion.

Since September, the month of New York Fashion Week and the Met Gala, there has been an influx in discussion surrounding the deservance, or lack thereof, of TikToker infringement into high fashion. However, fashion has historically been an art for the masses. A major pattern in the way trends spread is through streetwear-inspired designs. This gives

Fashion designers and editors work hard to break into the industry, and forever deserve their seats at the table. Yet, part of the power of fashion is its ability to define generations of culture. This can’t

be done solely with couture and elitism. TikTokers represent a new wave of fame and popular culture. They gained their fame through high speed digital discourse, and attempts at making that fame more of a notoriety are accumulating at the same pace. Despite the criticism, the impact TikTokers are having on the three trillion dollar fashion industry is undeniable. According to the New York Times, Depop searches for a Vivienne Westwood necklace

designed in 2006 went up by 80% due to viral Tiktoks. Vogue wrote an article in 2020 titled, “How TikTok Changed Fashion This Year,” and in February 2020 Charlie D’Amelio sat front row at a Prada fashion show. The artistic merit of fashion design doesn’t have to be diminished by the invitation of TikTokers to major fashion events. If anything, it’s exciting to see where the collaboration between the most elite members of society and the nouveau riche takes us in the near future.

SOLaCE

I N LI M I NAL SPACE 29

It feels like I am free-falling. I am trying my best to grab onto something that will keep me anchored. Unfortunately, my environment is moving at the same rate — if not accelerating at a speed that I cannot keep up with. This discomfort that haunts me in my last year of college is unavoidable. My world’s most precious characteristics that I believed made me who I am, my friends, my “home,” and my scholastic life cycle are not as permanent as I had convinced myself of them to be. As my fourth year of college quickly wanes before my eyes, I am faced with the difficult task of confronting the truths I have avoided since I arrived. At the same time, this transitory period of my life forces me to explore the meaning of my existence in a positive way, a way in which I must imagine my identity past academia and allow it to manifest organically. Without the carefully drawn confines of school — which bring community, purpose, and shelter — I must engineer my life path on my own. Who do I become when I get to decide? I asked myself this question a lot. College can be a thrilling time because it is a chapter in which you, and everyone around you, are painting exactly what you imagine your life should look like. The classes you take, the internships you accept, and the people you meet out at bars are all delicate details in the portrait of your future. Graduating from college holds more weight than it did in high school. Before, being “undecided” didn’t seem so daunting since I was confident that, eventually, I would one day decide. It is a tough reality to reconcile when “one day” becomes the present. Even if you knew what you wanted to study, young adulthood has a silly way of punching you square in the face and leaving you confused and questioning. When you don’t know what you want to do for the rest of your life, college is like trying out different mediums for your “perfect masterpiece” and seeing what sells. But here I am now, not knowing what could’ve sold. I should not define myself by my career, yet I felt an overwhelming pressure to do so because it seems like the only way I can actualize my reality. I found myself constantly displacing my identity crisis on ultimately immaterial aspects of my being instead of seeking introspection and purpose. However, in many ways, wanting to feel seen through other people and through your work is an entirely human experience. Maybe it is okay to lean into that while still being aware that there is much more room to think critically about the space you take up in the world, both physically and transcendentally. My roommate, Allison, explained to me how her loved ones help her form her identity. “People responding to what I have to say about my life validates that I exist,” she said, “and if I were just by myself I would

sometimes doubt things that make me but seeing that reflected in other people helps me ground myself.” Reconciling the fleeting within the permanent is disorienting. I call this epoch of my life “the liminal space.” At this point in my journey through the liminal space, I have forced myself to appreciate the calmness in not knowing what the future holds. I have found peace in challenging the idea of home. Home is not necessarily the physical structure that we live in, rather it is a feeling of familiarity and ease. Coming to terms with the idea of the closest people in your life, both proximally and emotionally, no longer being the main characters of your life’s plotline is horrifying. At the same time, they do not disappear. My good friend Amatullah put it like this: “After graduation, if you really want to see people you have to plan to make it work. It’s like everyone else’s lives are really their own. I can’t envision what my friends’ lives will look like and I can’t even imagine my own life [after college].” Weirdly enough, anticipating this departure reaffirmed the liminal space to me, but also persuaded me to seek comfort in being alone; and that is, perhaps, the most frightening crime I could commit. A notable element of the liminal space that is the most challenging for me to swallow is that I might never escape it, so it is best to come to terms with it. Paradoxically, the liminal space becomes liminal no more; rather it becomes a facet of life that drives me to discover the more visceral things that make me feel alive. After some introspection, I have come to realize that there is a quiet beauty that arrives with the uncertain. Sometimes, it is okay to be present when you are in a transitory period of life because, at the end of the day, it is still part of your life — not simply an episode that should be overcome and forgotten. Amidst the chaos that exists outside of the all too familiar structure that students have been socialized to retain for 18 years, there can be calm. There can be a deeply comforting solace in the liminal space — which people often forget when jumping from epoch to epoch. In those moments, we can learn the most valuable lessons about ourselves because in those moments may we be our most authentic versions, free-falling and content.

Southern Gothic A Sublim Sublime Piece of the Puzzle to Americann Culture By Mary Kurbanov Throughout damp autumn and brisk winter, the aesthetic of Southern Gothic and dark cottage core becomes more appealing to the masses of Pinterest, Twitter, and TikTok users galore. From somber acoustic ballads to popular dramas and horror flicks set in the South, it’s no secret that gloomy Americana is loved by many across the nation and even the globe. But from where did this morbid, folksy fantasy arise?

mementos. But it didn’t stop there. From the gestation of Southern Gothic fiction grew a cultural phenomenon that bled into art, film, television, music, fashion, and other venues of creative expression.

Moving Through Time And so was born film and television, just some of the many outlets for the Southern Gothic genre. Shifting through the political climate and attitude of the United States, Southern Origins Gothic highlighted various aspects of Before the creation of Southern Gothic the Southern struggle and its conflicted literature, there was just Gothic literature. relations with the greater nation. European and American writers in the 19th and 20th centuries harnessed their Based on the famed play by Tennessee fascination with death, horror, and Williams, the ever-popular 1951 film romance and repurposed it for their “A Streetcar Named Desire” takes stories and poetry. Soon after, Southern the psychologically troubled Blanche Gothic literature was born. Authors DuBois from her life in Mississippi and such as William Faulkner, Flannery forces her to stay in New Orleans with her O’Connor, and Zora Neale Hurston sister, Stella, and her husband, Stanley adapted the distressing elements of Kowalski. Blanche’s Southern-belleGothic fiction into the setting and esque attitude leads to high tensions problems facing the South specifically. in the Kowalski household, eventually Poverty. Racial tensions. The appeal of coming to a head with the violence and rural, independent life juxtaposed with abuse of Blanche perpetrated by Stanley. the hardship of isolation. Southern Though the content is graphic and often Gothic authors tackled all of these topics disturbing, the film is a masterpiece of and more. They attempted to dissuade Southern Gothic fiction translated into readers from believing the peaceful myth film. At its core, the piece underlined that of the agrarian South, planting the horror the transition from the expectations of of humanity against scenes of natural the old South into the new South would beauty and specific Southern cultural be rocky and tumultuous. Blanche’s 31

inability to change, her dedication to appearances, and her love for tradition clash with Stanley’s brash and often animalistic pursuit of authority over others. In the piece, the old South suffers a sort of intellectual and cultural death portrayed through the mistreatment and rejection of Blanche, echoing a widespread discomfort and loss of identity felt by Southerners during this film’s writing. Southern Gothic continues through the TV show “Queen Sugar,” created in 2016. Based on the novel of the same name, “Queen Sugar” takes viewers through the lives of three Black siblings, Nova, Charley, and Ralph Angel, as they deal with the trauma of their father’s sudden death and the question of what to do with his sugarcane farm in Louisiana. The show tackles topics like racial injustice within the police system and the longstanding effects of slavery within the United States, while simultaneously offering necessary elements of Black joy, friendship, and the bonds that keep family together. By incorporating the quintessential aspects of the Southern African American hardship, “Queen Sugar” stands solidly as a Southern Gothic piece, giving its characters well-deserved depth in its journey of Black relationships in the South.

Closing Thoughts Southern Gothic is imaginative. It is bold. And its impact has only increased since its conception. A greater influx of TV shows, films, and other media are gravitating towards the genre due to its sustained public interest and ability to encompass a variety of stories within its boundaries. However, Southern Gothic is decidedly more than just that. Not only has Southern Gothic produced some of the most captivating pieces of Americana culture, but it also continues to illuminate a very real darkness in American history and simultaneously humanizes Southerners who are often left as scapegoats to the problems of the U.S. Blaming a whole region for the pertinent and unresolved issues of a deeply scarred nation erases the nuances of individual life and gives an unrealistic view of the motivations of all Southerners. But, through horror and drama can come humanity and understanding. The wounds that Southern Gothic shines a light on are hard to look at, but they acknowledge the love and courage in the South despite the tragedy of various circumstances. In all, Southern Gothic is alive and well. It should stay that way. 32

THE “C” WORD BY Shade

While celibacy is dramatized less frequently in the media than sex, when written into the storylines of television shows, a form of supremacy surrounding celibacy is created that transcends its fictional world. Vows of celibacy are taken for reasons including, but not limited to, responding to sexual trauma, religion, and forming connections “deeper” than sex. Although sexual trauma is fictionalized the least, it’s still worth a brief examination. Although valid, abstinence from sex after an assault becomes a pressuring expectation for survivors. When celibacy is seen as the only appropriate coping mechanism, sex becomes the antagonist — rather than the perpetrator themselves. This perception is dangerous because it considers assault as a sexual act, which attaches pain to the memory of a survivor’s healthy sexual experiences and to their future exploration. Religious vows of celibacy are usually seen as transformative: a sinner’s promise to purify themselves or strengthen their bond with God. While this vow can be made by people from any sexual orientation, media representations often depict a heterosexual character taking the vow. A religious vow of celibacy often becomes associated with heterosexuality because the religion attached to the vow, often Christianity or Catholicism, sometimes considers same-sex relationships to be a transgression. In the sitcom “Grown-ish,” Anna, a Republican Cuban American woman swore off sex with the heterosexual construction of celibacy. In season three, Anna discovered her boyfriend, Javi, was six months into his vow of celibacy when she was seconds away from hooking up with him. After Anna processed what Javi’s abstinence meant for their relationship, she accepted it as “refreshing.” Javi then ushered Anna to his fellowship meeting where she redevoted her once strictly religious life to God. As part of her religious revival, Anna took a vow of celibacy with Javi — but for God. This distinction is important because when the sexless couple eventually succumbed to their sexual desires, -

Anna was guilty — not for breaking someone else’s celibacy vow — but for betraying her relationship with God. The “deeper than sex” vow of celibacy functions to combat hookup culture and casual sex. In the third season of “Girlfriends” (2000-2008), Sivad introduces this type of vow by understanding sex as meaningless without love. He made the union of two bodies seem empty, like a mindless pastime, and he believed love had the deepness that sex lacked. Lynn, the mooching, free-spirited musician in the show, began abstaining from sex after she fell in lust with Sivad, who was said to be celibate for five years because he was saving himself, that special part of himself, for his soulmate. Prior to her abstinence, Lynn had been established as a nymphomaniac. She felt emotional intimacy could be achieved through sex. In fact, her first documentary was about sex, until Sivad told her her topic lacked purpose. Seeking validation from Sivad, she changed her topic from sex to the effect of the AIDS pandemic on Black women. When Sivad came out as celibate, Lynn came out as a virgin. This moment took the form of situational irony because the audience knew that Lynn wasn’t even a virgin when the show first aired in 2000. Regardless, Lynn upheld her lie until the end of the episode when a past sexual partner exposed her; then, she made a vow of celibacy to Sivad. Celibate representation may be sparse, showing up in the storylines of television sitcoms 10 years apart, but it acts like any hegemonic system when it’s given a spotlight: condemning its perceived opposite in order to establish itself. Celibate supremacy stems from the perception that sex is the negation of celibacy. If celibacy is purifying, deep, and a focus enhancer, then sex is filthy, shallow, and a distraction. This truly is a one-sided discourse in which celibacy serves to define sex, but rarely does sex define celibacy. The celibate storylines in neither “Girlfriends” or “Grown-ish” were harmful to the displays of sexuality in their fictional world, however, the wrong interpretation by an impressionable viewer in the real world is as harmful as the abstinence expectation put on sexual assault survivors. By revering celibacy, sex is created into an “Other” that can make discussions about sexuality disconcerting, obsoleting the Sexual Revolution that challenged this “othering,” and burdening society to destigmatize sex once again.

NEW

READ ABOUT how Y2K never really died

bringing bringingback back the thebutterfly butterfly By Lu M MacKenzie acKenzi Kenz

VH1’s Divas 2000: A Tribute to Diana Ross

Star StarSpecial Special Dua Lipa brings Y2K BACK!

The trend cycle has brought Y2K fashion fluttering back, both on the red carpet and across the broader youth population. What was formerly cool expired as naff when we entered the latter part of the 2000’s, but recent waves of nostalgia have given the iconically gaudy staples a spot in our closets once again. However, what makes this replicated style unique is that it is, in essence, edited. We are now able to look at the original fads retrospectively and weed out the fashion that belongs in the past — cue Ashley Tisdale’s abysmal skirt over jeans — as well as embrace the looks we admire. Chief of these treasured items, and the statement pieces of many modern-day outfits, are butterfly tops and clips. Butterfly tops of the most popular variety tend to be both dainty and sparkly, with the insect’s sequin-studded wings overlaying the chest, and spaghetti straps habitually lacing in the back. They are geometrically innovative, utilizing the natural shape of the butterfly to form a uniquely structured and flattering bodice. Such designs were virtually unheard of before Mariah Carey debuted Emanuel Ungaro’s kaleidoscopic butterfly bustier at the “VH1’s Divas 2000: A Tribute to Diana Ross,” paired with faded, low-rise jeans. Although unbeknownst to her at the time, this look would make fashion history as an evidently perennial staple of the contemporary Y2K revival. If the butterfly top is the emblem of illustriously flashy fashion at the turn of the last millennium, butterfly clips are a more juvenile adaptation of the same concept. Sported by revered childhood TV icons like “Lizzie McGuire’’ and “Sabrina the Teenage Witch,” thesee kitsch accessories were all the rage in their own right. Their tiny, versatile form made them the perfect touch of colorful personality in any hairstyle, and it’s only taken us two decades to remember mber them. Reclaiming their former glory, butterfly clips can currently be bought in bulk packs acks of a hundred for just $6 on Amazon, and media platforms like Youtube and TikTok have been inundated with tutorials on how to style them. There’s no denying that present-day nt-day society has once again caved to the allure of these arguably tacky, yet beloved embellishments. mbellishments. There’s just something about the butterfly; something powerful rful enough to inspire our modern generation to welcome it back in vogue over other her motifs. The delicate avian creatures evoke a story of metamorphosis: phosis: a nod to former versions of ourselves and a symbol or how ow much we have grown. Every butterfly is the same organism it was as a caterpillar and as it was in its chrysalis, epitomizing the idea of staying grounded while also learning to fly. Our pasts are part art of us, and many seek subconscious trails back to simpler times. Even n recently successful popstars like Dua Lipa and Olivia Rodrigo aren’tt immune to this allure, bringing the butterfly back as a fashion statement, nt, but also ures of fame. as a reference to their simple love for music amidst the auxiliary pressures Although the revitalization of Y2K style is often written off as a tasteless manifestation of the trend cycle, the welcoming of butterfly tops and clips reveal something more: we, as human beings, love nostalgia, and no creature encapsulates this admiration better than the butterfly.

STUDENT

ART

This comic is a love letter to my Vietnamese, trans lesbian self, my future, and everyone who’s helped along the way. I wanted to examine metamorphosis as a metaphor for change or transness in nontraditional ways, honoring the process of exploring and exercising my trans identity as opposed to the end goal, whatever that is.

ZOE PHAM 38

The traditional interpretation of being feminine is associated with fragility and nurturing, while lately gender roles are refined as more fluid. My series of portraits focuses on capturing the inner emotion or unique character of each female figure. Through this investigation on different representations of femininity, I hope to magnify the individuality expressed through these females’ portrayed faces.

CAROL WU 39

FECUND FEELINGS Creative Direction: Emily Bekker and Myka Greene Photography: Charlotte Giﬀ Models: Tulsi Patel, Kennedy Davidson, Gabi Chu