Truly, Madly, Deeply opened doors

By Tammy Barron

UNDOUBTEDLY, YOU HAVE BEEN ASKED A DOZEN TIMES OR WONDERED, "What do I want from 2023?" Declaring new resolutions is always an act of hope, a developed plan to inch closer to one's potential. It's a great time to evaluate our priorities and relinquish old habits that keep us stagnant. Is your priority to get fit, learn new skills, or spend more time with family? All these lifestyle choices are great; however, the challenge is to follow through. How do we keep our resolve to reach our goals? How do I stay committed to the person I want to be in 2023? Disappointingly, my unachieved goal this year is the same as it was in 2022, 2021, or 1987 for that matter. The underlying problem for most of us whose resolutions dissolve by February is we fail to internalize our motivation for change.

Lifestyles don't just shift. We won't wake up on January 1st thirsty for cardio exercises or fluent in conversational French. Our lifestyles are rooted deeply in our daily habits. These habits form who we are and how we see ourselves. Any change we seek in our lives must first begin with a change in how we see ourselves. I am a person who values health. As a person with this value, I make choices that align with this identity. I don't struggle to live a healthy lifestyle. It's just who I am. However, I am also a procrastinator. This habit of postponing my work is debilitating, crushing, and catastrophic to what I want most for myself.

At the end of the day, we always get what we want, and it's our choices that dictate what we want. Do I go work out, or do I stay on the couch? Do I play with the kids or catch up on my favorite Netflix series? Do I practice my French lesson, or do I call a friend? We all have the same hours in the day, and our success in reaching any goal depends on our resolve. How badly do I want it? Am I willing to sacrifice for it, feel uncomfortable, and change for it?

I've always seen myself as a writer. Through the eyes of a child, this image was much more dramatic. The job required a fedora and leather whip, Tammy the next Indiana Jones, famous archaeologist/ author/adventurer. This self-identity inspired my first project, "Dinosaurs," my non-fiction Crayola masterpiece drafted in the second grade. Sadly, the page-turner was lost somewhere in the chaos of childhood. In middle school, I wrote collections of short stories that toyed with absurdism, a blatant attempt to cope with the awkwardness and confusion of adolescence. This chapter of my life exposed me to the absurdist playwrights Eugene Ionesco and Harold Pinter, inspiring a love for theatre and its power to suspend disbelief. The fourth wall became an obsession of mine. I was fascinated by the reciprocity of a performer's relationship with an audience, unlike the static relationship between author and reader. Shifting my studies to the theatre, I wrote two State award-winning monologues in my junior and senior high school years. This passion followed me through college and beyond, but the reality of rent heaved me into pragmatic adulthood with the need for reliable income. Years passed, and priorities changed; I have been trying to find myself ever since.

V3 rekindled my passion for storytelling. My monthly opinion essay, Opened Doors, strives to convey personal insight and mindful perspective into the adventure we call life. Over the last couple of years, you have gotten to know my family and me as you've read about our successes and failures one thousand words at a time. It is a privilege to reach such a dedicated audience. Additionally, the people of Rome and Cartersville have shared their lives with me trusting me to tell their stories with authenticity.

These were the most fun and challenging to write. Painting pictures of life-sized goals and commitment, I put to words the astonishing courage it takes to put everything on the line and reach for the stars. Starting a business, overcoming illness, revitalizing neighborhoods, serving those in need, and making a positive difference in the lives of others; are the dreams you dreamed. These are the stories we told together. It takes tremendous bravery to believe in yourself, which is what inspired me the most in each of the articles.

This is my last Opened Doors column with V3 Magazine. I'm compelled to open the door to my goal this year: to finish my book. It might be an incredible novel that changes the world, or it might be total crap. Unless I commit, I'll never know. For a lifetime, I've harbored this desire. Every January, I whisper to myself, "This is the year." But it always got lost in the priorities of family and farm, and any time I did chisel out to write has been for this publication.

I can't wait another year, month, or day wondering if I can do it. When I consider my motivation, I want my book. I want it truly, madly, and deeply. Inspired by the people of this amazing community who dared to embrace their ambitions, I enter this year determined to dream big and give it all I have for the sake of living the life I always wanted and being the person I have always known myself to be. Thank you to all the people who have helped me rediscover my passion for the written word; I hope you continue to open doors.

*The views expressed in this column are those of the writer, and do not represent the opinions of V3 Magazine