INDEPENDENT IS THE NEW SEXY “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dream“Independent women are assertive, are self-assured and girl” is a book about teaching women how to have the play by their own rules,”Yi says. “They don’t need anybody utmost self-confidence in a relationship. In this book, else but themselves to validate who they are. So, when it written in 2002, author Sherry Argov navigates ways comes to relationships, they’re low maintenance as partthat women can learn to love themselves without the ners because they’re busy running their own lives. They help of a significant other so they can thrive when they know when and what to give without being overbearing enter the dating world. 18 years later, this book reand have enough confidence to thrive on their own.” mains relevant in many ways, as we see this common theme in many aspects of our current pop culture. Women in the media often play the role of being something that no one can have, which, in so many ways, is Cardi B, Lizzo, Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus — the perfect thing to do. Everyone wants what they can’t what do all these artists have in common? They’re have, kind of like how for the longest time in Gossip Girl, strong women who focus their careers on female em- Chuck Bass couldn’t have Blair Waldorf. Additionally, who powerment, confident in themselves with or without a could forget when Justin Bieber was in love with Ariana significant other. Grande but could never get her to agree to go out with him? All the music they write is about being independent, which is what makes them so appealing. The concluHere’s the million-dollar question: do men really love sion? This is why we consider them the most signifbitches? The answer is yes. They love the girl that speaks icant female role models of our generation — they up for what she wants, is self-assured, and doesn’t need attract people just by being attracted to themselves. anyone but herself. No matter who you are or who you like, you should always adopt this way of thinking. In the Think about the music we listen to and some of the moment, it always seems like the person we’re with is songs you’ve heard that talk about women. What the greatest thing to ever happen to us, but in reality, the seems to be the biggest trend? These songs talk about power is all in our hands. women being “baddies,” bosses, strong and all of these songs have these men wanting the women who are confident and independent on their own. A great example of this is “Miss Independent” by Ne-Yo. If you listen to the lyrics, you will find that it solidifies all the points that the book makes. Even as we explore the world of fiction, in characters such as Blair Waldorf, Elle Woods, Olivia Pope and so many more, these women are not so fictionalized in the sense that we all have the power and ability to be just like them. We all can be assertive and confident enough in ourselves that will draw in the attention of anyone we so desire, only by doing the bare minimum: loving ourselves before we love anyone else. In an article for PopSugar, Nicole Yi writes just how important independence is for a partner.
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