4 minute read
Should We Hook Up?
SHOULD WE
HOOK UP?
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT
BY SYLVIE AUGUST
Friends with benefits. One night-stands. Casual sex. Whatever you want to call it, the idea of hookup culture has been a norm on college campuses for decades. With the rise of hook-up apps such as Bumble, Tinder and Hinge — and students increasing use of social media platforms such as Instagram and Snapchat — hooking up has become easier than ever. But is hooking up the right way to go? And is this hookup culture a good thing to have on a college campus?
If you’re unfamiliar with the idea of hookup culture, the term refers to the perception in our society that accepts, and sometimes even encourages, casual sex without the formation of emotional attachments or a need to be in a committed relationship.
So what exactly is a hook-up you may be wondering? In her book “The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture Is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy,” Donna Freitas offers three factors that define a hook-up. First, it includes some form of sexual intimacy; second, it’s brief — lasting just minutes to as long as several hours over the night; and, finally, it is purely physical, with neither party wanting to form an emotional attachment (supposedly, but that’s not always the case!).
Dr. Jill Wood, a Penn State professor in the department of women’s, gender, and sexuality studies, said that when she talks to the women in her classes, many feel that hooking up is the only option. It’s difficult for many women to navigate hook-up culture and get something good out of it.
“There’s just such a lack of dating culture at all. We have lost, I think, any sense of norms or rules around dating. To the extent that often people are hooking up and there hasn’t been a date and there probably won’t be a date,” Wood says.
Even though casual sex may evoke positive feelings in the moment, the potential problems with hookup culture might be reminiscent of your high school sex education class. Hookups can have harmful effects including sexual violence, sexually transmitted infections, emotional or psychological injuries or unintended pregnancy. Hooking up can also be risky because of the false sense of security that it provides, leading people to be less cautious. If you’re hooking up with different people, it’s not monogamous. While you might think you can tell that your partner is clean and disease-free just by looking at them, that just isn’t true. On an emotional level, hooking up can be misleading for both partners. Often one person is more attached or will expect different things than the other; this person will leave the situation disappointed, or even angry, simply because they were under different perceptions of what the relationship was. Additionally, some people may engage in behaviors they wouldn’t normally do, just because they feel like asking for a relationship or something more committed is asking too much.
Casual sex isn’t always a bad thing! For some people, engaging in hook-up culture makes them feel empowered and liberated. It’s an opportunity for people to have fun, have their sexual desires met and explore a new type of sexual intimacy, all without the bond or strings of a relationship. Others say that hook-ups are also good in that they can potentially lead to relationships or clarify each person’s feelings toward their partner.
Wood believes that we should be asking a larger question: why is the only option for dating or sex hook-up culture?
“When the expectation is just that you go from drinking at a party to having shitty sex, I don’t think that largely women end up feeling that good about themselves,” Wood says. “It has nothing to do with their worth or their value or their attractiveness. This culture has eroded the expectations or ability that women can expect anything in return.”
As with everything, there are positives and negatives attached to hooking up. Hookup culture isn’t considered a problem because of the kind of sex it promotes, but because it creates a destructive environment in which casual sexual engagement feels common and required. While some feel liberated after engaging in a hook-up, others feel ashamed or overwhelmed, but continue to take part in them simply due to this culture that makes it feel weird not to.
Having casual sex isn’t something to be ashamed of! It’s cool if that’s what you’re into, but if you’re not, that’s also okay! No one should feel pressured to do something they don’t want, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy and sexual relationships. For better or worse, hookup culture is a prevalent theme on college campuses, but, luckily, students today are freer than ever to explore their sexuality and engage in whatever they choose to do.
