Feature: No Longer a Secret: Confronting Postpartum Mood Disorder
No Longer a Secret:
Confronting Postpartum Mood Disorder By Dana Greyson
I hadn’t had 4 hours sleep straight for weeks. I was just exhausted. Changing my daughter’s diaper, frustrated, I pleaded, “Why can’t you just sleep?” I pictured myself throwing her against the wall. I wanted to leave my family for a week. “I’m not OK,” I told my husband. He called my mom and took baby for two nights straight. – Amanda Ewing, Clark County Mom and Counselor “I’m going to harm my baby”: An Almost Universal Postpartum Mood Disorder Symptom As a counselor specializing in perinatal mental health at Vancouver’s Refresh Therapy, Amanda Ewing knows even good moms (and dads) have scary thoughts. Ewing is publicly sharing her own vulnerability because she knows most parents feel too ashamed to admit their own. “You’re told ‘Everything is supposed to be so wonderful. Enjoy every minute . . . Just snuggle that baby instead of doing the dishes,’” she says. “That just feels worse.” Yet these awful thoughts are normal. Studies show 90% of parents are troubled with frightening thoughts—concerns about their baby being hurt and even them harming their own baby. But, Ewing cautions, “It doesn’t mean you can or should ignore those intrusive thoughts.” “Motherhood is placed on such a high pedestal,” comments Jennifer Fisher, doula and Legacy Health Systems’ certified childhood educator. “‘I just need to set down my baby,’ they say, ‘but I feel so guilty even just going to the bathroom.’” Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Mood Disorder Up to 80% of moms with newborns suffer “baby blues” such
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as mood swings and irritability the first few weeks. Postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum mood disorder (terms used interchangeably) affects one in five mothers. PPD symptoms go beyond the typical blues and can range from anxiety to an inability to function to a loss of the ability to feel pleasure, even rage and full-blown psychosis. Why is Postpartum Depression So Common? Parents of newborns face incredible challenges. “For the first three months, babies won’t smile as a result of recognizing you,” empathizes Dr. Suzanne Slayton-Milam of Vancouver-based Cascadia Women’s Clinic. “The baby doesn’t have the capability of sharing thankfulness and this can make the earlier months harder.” Before babies are 6 months old, surveys show that only 5% of their parents are getting the recommended hours of sleep. All that exhaustion gets coupled with the babies’ need for almost constant attention including frequent feeding, diaper changes and comforting. Add in fluctuating hormones, difficult pregnancies, financial and relationship stress with Pinterest-perfect societal pressure and it’s easier to understand why so many women face PPD. If there was a previous tendency for anxiety or depression or if the baby has health issues the odds of suffering from PPD escalate. The Family and PPD Fisher recalls a shocked dad’s call for help: “’I’ve never seen my wife like this. Our 10-pound baby has brought her to her knees. I don’t know what to do!’” she recalls him saying. Neither husband nor wife had been around a newborn before. “The whole family needed to make adjustments because family and social support are crucial.”
Vancouver Family Magazine • www.vancouverfamilymagazine.com • March 2020
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