Alexa Garcia, 3am Thoughts

3am Thoughts

ALEXA GARCIA

The middle of the night hits, And I realize I’ve stayed up too late. A gruesome thought in my head hits, My mind feels consumed by a weight.

Thoughts of terror, And thoughts of great fears; Forsaken by my Carer, And drowning in my tears.

An hour past midnight, And I can’t seem to fight. These lies that are given to me, Are ones I rebuke with all my might.

Will I grow old lonely? Will I get my degree? It’s God who knows only, But for me, I have to see.

What is the meaning of life? A question that hits my head. Is it gold? Or to avoid strife? These thoughts that linger, as I continue lying in bed.

What about that one boy, The one whom I gave my whole heart? He played me like toy, And then pulled my insides apart.

A secret sin no one knows about; One I can’t escape, Like there’s no other route. But it hurts me badly, Like a fall that ends in a scrape.

The lies become stronger As the hours pass by. Can I take this life any longer? Or will I surely just die?

The demons whisper, It’s like I can’t hide, I see a black figure As I look to my side.

But the spirits have no handle, They have no hold, Because the Lord is in control; He created me to be bold.

When the thoughts overwhelm me And rob me of my joy I think of the hope I have in Thee, The One whom does not let the thoughts destroy.