Matthew Kenslow, How I Got an Award-Winning Book about Autism Published at 23

How I Got an Award-Winning Book about Autism Published at 23

MATTHEW KENSLOW

“Go away, Matthew! You’re not our friend!” two fellow Kindergarteners yelled at me by the swing set with such bitterness in their eyes. There have been many more innuendos of discrimination from grade school to my college days. This is a story of perseverance and overcoming, not caving into what people have verbally beaten me with; an experience that got to where I am today: a person fighting hard against discrimination of any kind.

I made friends, but how often would I “hang out” with them? Not that often. Some of my acquaintances were nice half the time and mean the other half. Even when I was around friends, I felt pressed against the wall, nervous to make any form of communication… unless they ask me first how my day is going; I love talking, but not intruding.

Throughout my life, I recognized a set of catharses to help me make light of these situations. They included art, juggling, playing piano, and a couple more. I made up jokes and memorized the presidents just to be liked (besides, it was easy to memorize the president’s birthdays, death dates, and term dates by number anyway). However, of all the catharses that took me far, creative writing has always been one of the big ones.

I used to get in a heap of trouble just for writing too much back in early grade school. Give me a one-page creative writing assignment, and I will give you a novella… with my own illustrations too. I loved creating stories and adding as much detail as possible so much, I had written a 32-page story by the tenth grade. When I got older, I would append hidden meanings behind names and places, as well as visualize various archetypes as colors to enhance the invisible, underlying messages. Writing became an art piece. I would always come home from elementary school (later middle school and later high school) and just type away for hours, writing small story books and movie scripts. I intend for each of them to be published, but have worked to no avail. About ninety-nine percent of the thousands of hours I have worked on my writing and art projects (as well as piano and juggling practice), I realize I have spent alone. My only social time with peers was at school. By my later years in high school, I became discouraged because I still could not find the strength to go up to a person and initiate a conversation. I always stood there waiting. Sometimes, they would start the conversation, but it only lasted all but a couple moments.

And then…high school graduation. June 20, 2013. That was it. It was too late. I spent my entire educational career, from preschool to 12th grade, spending time by myself and I could never go back to change things for the better. I remember 56

even in the middle of elementary school I wanted to go back in time to change my life along with every single academic year since.

Nevertheless, I still loved creative writing and it gave me release from some of the sadness I constantly faced, day and night. Sadness was partly the source of sleepless nights — mostly, I hid my sadness from everybody and hundreds of people just believed I was a happy, smiling person at the time. I thought to myself, “At least I have all the friends I did make, even though I hardly spent any time with them.”

In my first semester of college—the fall of 2013—I began writing again. I decided to let the main character have Asperger’s Syndrome. It was originally going to be a series of short stories simply published one at a time. Ultimately, it transformed into a novella, which turned into a novel, which turned into a hyper-novel, which I decided to finalize as a trilogy. Even then, I felt I sugar-coated a lot of things. I did not want to use my gift to write as a means to get back at people because I found myself so concerned about others, even the welfare of my past bullies. As the years and years went by, I could neither handle all the current discriminations, nor the painful memories of the past. I ultimately felt that it was my duty to make allegorical stories to expose what happens to people like me, even though we cannot help it; people just seem to pick on us when there is not a single reason to.

Is it really funny when we cannot talk like you? When we cannot walk like you? When we are not as fast as you? If we look different? If we are more “intelligent” or “skilled”?

In the interim, I encourage children to realize they have a purpose and to not let what others say get to them. I actually say that to them whilst juggling simultaneously in classrooms during my visits. God introduced me to my literary agent in Pennsylvania. He then encouraged me to just write a series of short stories where each story represents an attribute of living with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Hence my anthology, Juggling the Issues: Living with Asperger’s Syndrome was born! I got right to work in July of 2016 and by mid-November 2017, it was ready! My aforementioned agent told me that he would make an electronic package for me and send it off to various royalty publishing houses. And then it happened!

On March 2, 2018, I got a congratulatory letter from my agent. He forwarded me the contract to the publishing house that was interested in my book! A long, novel-sized story short, it was not until June 13, 2019, when I received the long-awaited package containing my first book. I opened that 57

package in awe. For the first time in my whole entire life, I held a book that I had written all myself! Flipping through the pages, I thought to myself, “I wrote this…I wrote this!” My family, friends, and I could not be any prouder. Once it was on Amazon in July of 2019, I officially launched it on social media where it started going all around the world. Even an ABC7 anchor shared it on her Facebook page, and I got in communications with a news director in Idaho. I did tons of Google searches and found it selling on over twenty additional websites, such as Walmart, Barnes & Noble, Waterstones, Mighty Ape, IndieBound, and even eBay. It is a humbling experience.

If there is anything I learned, it is patience and standing on God’s promises. Just because my past did not seem promising does not mean it will never happen. Just do not give up. I do not allow difficulty to stand in the way as some formidable obstacle. Whatever I put in my heart, I will try my best to get it done. If I can do that, so can you! Writing a book is a process. I am the sole writer, but I must not forget the team: the editor, the cover designer, the agent, and the publisher. I must always go into writing knowing that there will always be drafts, I cannot just write something in one setting (Trust me, I have tried many times in this whole process). I have to allow myself to shut off the laptop for the night and give it a little time then go over the entire work again. A person may need to do that a few times before it feels right. Then let the publishing house read it and have them offer their critiques. Work with them and not against them. Take some of their advice. Try and smoothly blend ideas together. For a little additional information, what I did after my first draft back in 2013 was give it to a few close friends whom I could trust. I allowed them to read it and report to me what they thought.

I, Matthew Kenslow, went from hearing “Go Away! You’re not our friend!” and other forms of discriminatory slander to hearing "One of the best new Autism books," by BookAuthority, who gave me two awards last year! I went from a person being picked on to a worldwide-distributed author of a book that’s making a difference to so many people. Little did I know how much support I would gain on YouTube with over 600 subscribers and over 180,000 view. I am thankful to continue making a difference with such a platform. It is my love, joy, and passion to write. These are the things I partake in to not let Autism/Asperger's tear me down. I still have challenges I face, but I am not letting those stop me either, as I endeavor to minimize them as much as possible.

And let this be quintessential proof that anybody can do whatever they set their heart and mind to do, despite having an “incurable disability.”