SC GARDENER

JUNE IN THE GARDEN

n If you have holes to fill in the veggie garden, there is still time this month to plant such delectable edibles as squash, Southern peas, Swiss chard, okra, sweet potatoes, leeks, collards and mustard greens. n A dollar doesn’t buy much these days, but in the garden, having a buck in your pocket is still worth something. The dollar bill is a shade over two-and-a-half inches wide and six inches long, so if you need to roughly measure row widths, pot diameters or planting distances and depths—and your tape measure is lost in the garage—a single note can come in handy. TIP OF THE MONTH For better success with planters and hanging baskets this summer, keep these tips in mind: (1) Unglazed clay pots leach moisture through their sides, meaning plants in these types of containers normally have to be watered more often; (2) the smaller the pot, the quicker it will dry out; L.A. JACKSON (3) trailing plants such as million bells, vinca, CONTAINMENT AREA petunias, A few basic tips can help creeping maintain pretty planters through the summer growing season. Jenny and ornamental sweet potatoes can shade the pots’ sides to help keep plant roots cooler; and (4) the more you irrigate, the more plant nutrients are washed away, so water with a diluted liquid fertilizer at least once a month through the growing season.

SALAD DAYS For healthier, better-looking fruits, prevent common physiological problems from invading your tomato patch.

Tomato troubles

BY L.A. JACKSON

HAPPY ARE TOMATO

growers who begin to harvest healthy fruits, because it means they have managed to avoid the calamities often wrought by diseases and bad bugs. However, there are also physiological problems that can really mess up a patch of ’maters, and here are the top four nasties to watch for: Blossom End Rot. This yucky, dusky spot on the bottom of an otherwise pretty tomato is usually due to the plant’s lack of calcium uptake from the soil because of extended dry conditions. A three- to four-inch layer of mulch and regular waterings will help stabilize the ground moisture and prevent such ugliness from occurring. Occasionally spraying the leaves with a diluted solution of calcium chloride (available at most garden shops) will also aid in stopping this nastiness from besmirching tomatoes. Cracking. Another disorder associated with uneven soil moisture. This condition creates concentric, unappetizing rings circling the stems or vertical splits along the sides of the fruits. Dry spells broken by frog-strangler rains can cause rehydrated tomatoes to grow too fast too soon and literally burst out of their skins. Like with blossom end rot, mulching the plants will help steady ground moisture availability, as will regular waterings when the rains don’t come.

Recognize the Sunscald. Appearing calamities that can first as a yellowish, discolored spot on the beset tomatoes and learn how to top of a tomato, it then turns about as ugly as a case of blossom end rot. avoid them True to its name, the cause of this blemish is Ol’ Sol—too much sun. Sunscald usually happens to tomatoes that ripen on the upper parts of plants, which, with less shade from the foliage, can become overexposed to relentless sunrays. Conservative pruning (especially in the top branches) and using a light covering such as cheesecloth or a horticultural fabric like Reemay over the plants will help prevent the sun from doing such damage to ripening ’maters. Catfacing. I also call this problem “early-itis” because it is the result of eager gardeners wanting to get their tomatoes growing in the very early spring when the weather is still relatively cool. Young fruits that start to develop in low temperatures are sometimes distorted into odd shapes, including—with some imagination on your part—cat faces. This disorder is only temporary because, as simmering summer temperatures take over in the veggie patch, any following fruit should be free of such weirdness. L.A. JACKSON is the former editor of Carolina Gardener magazine. Contact him at lajackson1@gmail.com.

Dancers to doughnuts

BY JAN A. IGOE

NOT LONG AGO, TikTok was that red-headed social media stepchild shunned by everyone over age 12. Just a bunch of silly Gen Xers videoing themselves lip-synching cringe-worthy songs with a passing resemblance to music. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Our former president tried to ban it, but TikTok started spreading faster than kudzu on Red Bull. What was once the sole province of the pimple-prone now regularly attracts 1.5 billion monthly users who might include your grandma. Hungry marketers can’t resist a feast like that, so household names like Gucci, NatGeo, Disney and Target jumped on board. Now, prepubescent airheads have to compete with adult airheads battling for the exalted rank of social media influencer.

Influencers are like the popular kids everybody tried to emulate in fifth grade, but they’re paid better. Take Charli D’Amelio, for example. At 17, she has collected more than 130 million followers with her dancing videos. Last year, she was the most popular person on TikTok and put $17.5 million in her pocket, per Forbes. (If your tap shoes still fit, stop reading and start dancing.)

Besides her own nail polish and jewelry lines, Charli also has a book in the works, a movie role and a sweet deal with Dunkin’ Donuts. When people see a cold brew with a caramel swirl in Charli’s hand, they know that eating a dozen doughnuts is sure to make them better dancers.

The other fun side of TikTok is the challenges. You remember Tide Pods, right? Now think of the fun folks could have with Gorilla Glue. (Some people have expressed concern online that the glue might be made from mashed gorillas, but it’s more likely just ferrets.)

The challenge is finding new, off-label ways to use the glue, like adhering false eyelashes. When you apply them with Gorilla Glue, your eyelids will fall off long before the lashes do. Unless they are surgically removed, you’ll end up with the longest lashes in assisted living.

Tessica Brown tried using Gorilla Glue to hold her long hair in place, possibly forever. She conceded that it was a bad idea when her hairdo solidified, and doctors had to remove the mess surgically. But you can’t fault the glue. It works. Her hair was unfazed by shampoo, conditioner and F5 tornadoes. (My dad got the same results from Brylcreem, minus the surgery.) Here’s another one doctors love: the Blackout Challenge. You simply hold your breath until you lose consciousness, which I honestly didn’t know was possible until now. When my body tells me it’s time to inhale, I never argue. But some TikTok fans have yet to grasp the benefits that breathing on a consistent basis offers.

Another challenge keeping first responders busy is the young geniuses who keep squeezing their butts into bucket swings sized for toddlers. Surprise! They get stuck. Stuck enough that angry firefighters have to come pry them out. Apparently, professional firefighters would rather be pulling people out of burning buildings than swings.

I’d hesitate to say that to anyone on TikTok, though. They might fix the problem by gluing themselves in the swing and lighting their butts on fire. Future influencers, for sure.

Another challenge keeping first responders busy is the young geniuses who keep squeezing their butts into bucket swings sized for toddlers. Surprise! They get stuck.

JAN A. IGOE is almost as worried about kids trying these challenges as she is the adults who think that glue might be made from gorillas. Use your influence and join us at HumorMe@SCLiving.coop.