Articles By Nationally-Recognized Speakers Amanda Carroll and Jefferson Bethke
THE SINGLE MOMS MAGAZINE VOL 1, ISSUE 3
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Dreaming Again by Misty Honnold
L
ast year, my youngest son played Cogsworth in the musical production “Beauty and the Beast”. I was overwhelmed with joy and pride, as I watched not only his performance, but his three older siblings go to great lengths to take off work, make travel arrangements, and re-arrange class schedules to cheer him on. This was indeed a dream come true: a family restored, siblings who love and support one another. They are healed, emotionally healthy children. I was standing in the midst of my promised land. Fourteen years earlier, our family had been torn apart by divorce, and my children’s hearts were deeply wounded. Anger was the emotion that manifested the strongest in my children, though fear, rebellion, and sadness seemed constant, too. Every dream I had for the future of our family had been ripped away through my divorce - I was all too familiar with the statistics that thundered “hopelessness” over my children’s lives, and as long as I remained married, I thought somehow they would escape the problems that had plagued me and my husband’s lives. I felt, for a long time, that I had no hope to offer my children. As I cried out to the Lord night after night, he began to give me a vision of his dreams for my family. I began to look to God’s word rather than myself for counsel, comfort, and hope. I began to see how vital it was to the future
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of my children for me, as the leader of my household, to personally have hope and vision for the future. I could not merely survive each day and hope that things would turn out different for my children than they had for me, rather I had to see what God said about His dreams for my children and then learn how to partner with Him to see the dreams of His heart and my heart fulfilled. God tells us we must get a vision for the future He has for us or we will perish, (Proverbs 29:18), and I realized that in my own hopelessness, I needed to see God’s vision for my own future and the futures of my children. This I know is true: God has dreams in His heart and longs to reveal them to us. A dream I chose to hold on to is that “All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children” (Isaiah 54:13). As we begin to discover the dreams of God’s heart and partner with Him to see these dreams come to pass, He does more than we could ever imagine in our hearts and lives, as well as in those of our children.
Misty Honnold is the Founder and Director of The Single MOM KC. A single mother of four, Misty also facilitates local and regional events to bless, encourage, and strengthen single mothers. Misty has devoted her life to loving the Lord, loving her family, and seeing restoration take place in women and families.
MAKING A BUDGET EASY AS ABC
FORGIVING YOUR EX
— SAVINGS AND RESOURCES FOR SINGLE MOMS —
JESUS>RELIGION by Jefferson Bethke
When I first became a Christian, I thought that to
be a good Christian, I had to be in ministry. I thought people who weren’t were just Junior Varsity Christians. I thought that to be on God’s good side, you needed to be a pastor, theologian, or priest. You could maybe be a Bible study leader, but that was pushing it. It was almost not holy enough. Being a Bible study leader was like being on the swing team in high school sports—where you’d play on JV but sometimes get the privilege of sitting on the varsity bench. But that’s not what the Bible says. Peter was a fisherman. Paul was a tent maker. Jesus was a carpenter. Does that strike anyone as weird? Jesus literally made things out of wood all day. He wasn’t a temple priest; he was a carpenter. An average blue-collar, nine-to-five workingman. Scares me to think how quickly I would pass him today if I saw him on the street. Probably would be a construction worker with calloused hands, wearing a Carhartt jacket. In fact, few people switched vocations after they began to follow Jesus the first two hundred years of Christianity, unless their vocations outright violated Scripture, as prostitution and sorcery do. Since Christians were persecuted, they worked as they always had to provide for their families, and then maybe they led or pursued other ministries in the underground church. But for the most part if a blacksmith became a Christian, he stayed a blacksmith. He was just a blacksmith to the glory of God.
As the apostle Paul made it clear, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” There’s no asterisk after that verse that adds, “Only if that eating or drinking is done in an overtly Christian way like at communion or a church potluck.” No, it says whatever you do. No qualifications. No exceptions. Now, if the Bible calls it a sin, or if you know you are blatantly doing it to the glory of yourself rather than God, then don’t do it. But we have to admit we don’t give God the glory he deserves. You can bring God glory wherever he has already placed you. You don’t need to feel guilty that you’re a chef. You don’t need to feel guilty that you only paint, but your dad wants you to be a pastor. Too many times Christians want to go into ministry because of outside pressures by their parents or pastors, not realizing where they already are is their mission field. Single moms, I’m going to come right out and say it: don’t struggle under the burden of wanting to do more outside your home but not being able to, especially if you have small children. You don’t need to lead a women’s group, write a Bible study, or serve in your neighborhood. Your kids take up all your time, as they should at this stage in your life. You don’t need to be leading a ministry. Your kids are your ministry!
Christianity will spread quickly when there are disciples of Jesus living in every domain of society—service, politics, music, art, etc.—bringing glory to him and pursuing the greatest joy possible. Do you like to cook? Do it to the glory of God. Do you like to work on cars? Do it to the glory of God. Do you like to write stories? Do it to the glory of God. If you have a thankful heart and are using that domain to reflect God’s beauty as Creator, then you are worshiping. Listening to Hillsong United isn’t worship; it’s an aid for worship. I found a deeper level of joy and connection with Jesus when I realized that eating a good meal with thankfulness was just as holy as my prayer time. The truth is, God doesn’t just want your “Christian” things. He wants it all. When we realize the beauty of God’s grace in the mundane, not just the religious, that’s when we will begin to see him correctly. Excerpt Taken from chapter 9, pages 163-166 . Permission Granted
The apostle Paul tasks Christians with a “ministry of reconciliation,” which sounds pretty openedended to me. You can worship God by cleaning up baby puke with a thankful heart just as much as if you were to be writing a Bible study for thousands of people. This is because the way you train that child, the way you teach him the ways of Jesus, and the way you display grace and truth firsthand is God displaying his ministry of reconciliation through you. God is pleased with you. It comes down to a thankful heart, not an explicitly Christian behavior. If something is done with a thankful heart, then that is Christian behavior.
Jefferson Bethke is an average guy
who loves an amazing God. He is a gifted author and speaker who loves the opportunity to teach about God’s grace. His artistic You Tube videos have received millions of hits. He is happily married to Alyssa and they make their home in Washington. For more information, visit http://jeffbethke.com/.
Are you an overwhelmed, stressed out, fed up single mom? Are you a well-rested, hope-filled single mom who is resting in His promises? Or are you somewhere in between? Peace and the Single Mom: 50 Moments of Calm in the Chaos was written just for you! Enjoy 50 tidbits of life, truth, and encouragement on everything from anger to having a bad hair day.
NOW AVAILABLE!! To purchase, visit: www.thelifeofasinglemom.com
Hello Courage by Amanda Carroll
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9
If you find yourself limited by your circumstances, debilitated by fear, or simply stuck in life, I would like to help you find a way to say goodbye to fear and hello to courage. You can love the life you live, even if it wasn’t exactly the way you planned. This is a journey that I know something about. It’s a battle that I fight on a daily basis - to love my life, even though it did not turn out the way I planned. I admit to you, I am scared. I’m a single mother of three children under 8 years old. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. I’m also determined to do this well!
I admit to you that this summer I wasn’t very courageous. Doubt and fear had me feeling like I was trapped in quicksand. I couldn’t breathe. I was shaking. I was trying to take a step forward in my life to create a permanent, stable home for my children, and I was freaking out. I was buying a house on my own, and it scared me to death. I’ll never forget the day in July that I had to put money down at the title company - money that I’ve been saving for a moment like this. I walked into the title office and sat with the check shaking in my hand. As I sat down in the office, there was this full-of-life woman that was on the other side of the desk. She swung around in her swivel chair and we started chatting. She said, “I get it. I’m a single mom, too. You are my favorite kind of client.” She explained how the office was full of single moms that have bought homes. She encouraged me that I was doing the right thing. We cried and hugged... at a title company where I bought my first house! I can’t find anywhere in the Bible where it commands us to be weak and safe. Over
Making a Budget Easy as
and over again we are reminded to be strong and courageous. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 I’ve heard it said that, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s having fear and moving forward anyway.” So, just like I can walk in a company, scared, and buy a house on my own, you can face that thing that is gripping you in fear, too. Whatever you do, MOVE FORWARD!
Amanda Carroll calls herself a “Professional Mother” and is a single parent of 3 children under 7. Her family’s mission statement is to “Work hard, play hard. See needs, and meet them. Change the way the world sees God one life at a time.” She is the midday host and on-air personality on the international Christian radio network, K-LOVE.
is for Accountability Most people know what they make each week, but most of them have NO idea how much they are spending. You have to account for all of your spending! To help you figure this out, you should keep a spending journal. For at least four weeks you want to keep receipts and write down exactly what, where and how much money you spent. Sunlight is the best disinfectant, so if you hold yourself accountable to recording all of your expenditures you will uncover wasteful and unnecessary spending and start spending less. If you find it difficult to control your spending, get yourself an accountability partner to help you in your moments of weakness.
by Steve Repak is for Build Your Savings I am sorry to tell you that making a budget won’t be as easy as ABC but if the title of the article said it would be as hard as calculus I wouldn’t have many people reading it. I promise it won’t be as hard as calculus but it will take a little time and effort on your part and when it is all said and done, making a budget might not be as hard as you thought it was, if you only use your ABC’s.
You might wonder what building your savings has to do with making a budget. If you don’t have any money in your savings, the probability will be high that you won’t be able to maintain your budget. Nobody likes to plan on things going wrong and most people don’t make it a line item in their budget, but the truth is, it is not a matter of if you will have an unexpected emergency, it is only a matter of when. Having money set aside in a safe, liquid account (i.e. FDIC Savings Account) separate from your checking can help you stay in the green when the next unexpected bill comes up. is for Commitment
Steve Repak, CFP®, is a Speaker, Army Veteran, and the author of Dollars & Uncommon Sense: Basic Training For Your Money. He has been a frequent guest on Fox and Friends, 700 Club, and Fox Business and has been featured in Forbes, Investor’s Business Daily, MSN Money and Yahoo Finance.
When the going gets tough do you get going? Being committed will require sacrifices and to tell you the truth sacrificing is one of the hardest things to do but is necessary in order to spend less. I relate budgeting to diet and exercise. You don’t see a lot of results in the beginning but the longer you stick with it the better the results you will get. By staying positive and taking it one day at a time, there isn’t anything you can’t accomplish. If you will apply these simple practices to your finances, you will find you will have more money in the bank at the end of the month. By the way, having more money in the bank at the end of the month is the reason why you make a budget to start with.
JESUS>RELIGION by Jefferson Bethke
When I first became a Christian, I thought that to
be a good Christian, I had to be in ministry. I thought people who weren’t were just Junior Varsity Christians. I thought that to be on God’s good side, you needed to be a pastor, theologian, or priest. You could maybe be a Bible study leader, but that was pushing it. It was almost not holy enough. Being a Bible study leader was like being on the swing team in high school sports—where you’d play on JV but sometimes get the privilege of sitting on the varsity bench. But that’s not what the Bible says. Peter was a fisherman. Paul was a tent maker. Jesus was a carpenter. Does that strike anyone as weird? Jesus literally made things out of wood all day. He wasn’t a temple priest; he was a carpenter. An average blue-collar, nine-to-five workingman. Scares me to think how quickly I would pass him today if I saw him on the street. Probably would be a construction worker with calloused hands, wearing a Carhartt jacket. In fact, few people switched vocations after they began to follow Jesus the first two hundred years of Christianity, unless their vocations outright violated Scripture, as prostitution and sorcery do. Since Christians were persecuted, they worked as they always had to provide for their families, and then maybe they led or pursued other ministries in the underground church. But for the most part if a blacksmith became a Christian, he stayed a blacksmith. He was just a blacksmith to the glory of God.
As the apostle Paul made it clear, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” There’s no asterisk after that verse that adds, “Only if that eating or drinking is done in an overtly Christian way like at communion or a church potluck.” No, it says whatever you do. No qualifications. No exceptions. Now, if the Bible calls it a sin, or if you know you are blatantly doing it to the glory of yourself rather than God, then don’t do it. But we have to admit we don’t give God the glory he deserves. You can bring God glory wherever he has already placed you. You don’t need to feel guilty that you’re a chef. You don’t need to feel guilty that you only paint, but your dad wants you to be a pastor. Too many times Christians want to go into ministry because of outside pressures by their parents or pastors, not realizing where they already are is their mission field. Single moms, I’m going to come right out and say it: don’t struggle under the burden of wanting to do more outside your home but not being able to, especially if you have small children. You don’t need to lead a women’s group, write a Bible study, or serve in your neighborhood. Your kids take up all your time, as they should at this stage in your life. You don’t need to be leading a ministry. Your kids are your ministry!
Christianity will spread quickly when there are disciples of Jesus living in every domain of society—service, politics, music, art, etc.—bringing glory to him and pursuing the greatest joy possible. Do you like to cook? Do it to the glory of God. Do you like to work on cars? Do it to the glory of God. Do you like to write stories? Do it to the glory of God. If you have a thankful heart and are using that domain to reflect God’s beauty as Creator, then you are worshiping. Listening to Hillsong United isn’t worship; it’s an aid for worship. I found a deeper level of joy and connection with Jesus when I realized that eating a good meal with thankfulness was just as holy as my prayer time. The truth is, God doesn’t just want your “Christian” things. He wants it all. When we realize the beauty of God’s grace in the mundane, not just the religious, that’s when we will begin to see him correctly. Excerpt Taken from chapter 9, pages 163-166 . Permission Granted
The apostle Paul tasks Christians with a “ministry of reconciliation,” which sounds pretty openedended to me. You can worship God by cleaning up baby puke with a thankful heart just as much as if you were to be writing a Bible study for thousands of people. This is because the way you train that child, the way you teach him the ways of Jesus, and the way you display grace and truth firsthand is God displaying his ministry of reconciliation through you. God is pleased with you. It comes down to a thankful heart, not an explicitly Christian behavior. If something is done with a thankful heart, then that is Christian behavior.
Jefferson Bethke is an average guy
who loves an amazing God. He is a gifted author and speaker who loves the opportunity to teach about God’s grace. His artistic You Tube videos have received millions of hits. He is happily married to Alyssa and they make their home in Washington. For more information, visit http://jeffbethke.com/.
Are you an overwhelmed, stressed out, fed up single mom? Are you a well-rested, hope-filled single mom who is resting in His promises? Or are you somewhere in between? Peace and the Single Mom: 50 Moments of Calm in the Chaos was written just for you! Enjoy 50 tidbits of life, truth, and encouragement on everything from anger to having a bad hair day.
NOW AVAILABLE!! To purchase, visit: www.thelifeofasinglemom.com
Hello Courage by Amanda Carroll
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9
If you find yourself limited by your circumstances, debilitated by fear, or simply stuck in life, I would like to help you find a way to say goodbye to fear and hello to courage. You can love the life you live, even if it wasn’t exactly the way you planned. This is a journey that I know something about. It’s a battle that I fight on a daily basis - to love my life, even though it did not turn out the way I planned. I admit to you, I am scared. I’m a single mother of three children under 8 years old. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. I’m also determined to do this well!
I admit to you that this summer I wasn’t very courageous. Doubt and fear had me feeling like I was trapped in quicksand. I couldn’t breathe. I was shaking. I was trying to take a step forward in my life to create a permanent, stable home for my children, and I was freaking out. I was buying a house on my own, and it scared me to death. I’ll never forget the day in July that I had to put money down at the title company - money that I’ve been saving for a moment like this. I walked into the title office and sat with the check shaking in my hand. As I sat down in the office, there was this full-of-life woman that was on the other side of the desk. She swung around in her swivel chair and we started chatting. She said, “I get it. I’m a single mom, too. You are my favorite kind of client.” She explained how the office was full of single moms that have bought homes. She encouraged me that I was doing the right thing. We cried and hugged... at a title company where I bought my first house! I can’t find anywhere in the Bible where it commands us to be weak and safe. Over
Making a Budget Easy as
and over again we are reminded to be strong and courageous. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 I’ve heard it said that, “Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s having fear and moving forward anyway.” So, just like I can walk in a company, scared, and buy a house on my own, you can face that thing that is gripping you in fear, too. Whatever you do, MOVE FORWARD!
Amanda Carroll calls herself a “Professional Mother” and is a single parent of 3 children under 7. Her family’s mission statement is to “Work hard, play hard. See needs, and meet them. Change the way the world sees God one life at a time.” She is the midday host and on-air personality on the international Christian radio network, K-LOVE.
is for Accountability Most people know what they make each week, but most of them have NO idea how much they are spending. You have to account for all of your spending! To help you figure this out, you should keep a spending journal. For at least four weeks you want to keep receipts and write down exactly what, where and how much money you spent. Sunlight is the best disinfectant, so if you hold yourself accountable to recording all of your expenditures you will uncover wasteful and unnecessary spending and start spending less. If you find it difficult to control your spending, get yourself an accountability partner to help you in your moments of weakness.
by Steve Repak is for Build Your Savings I am sorry to tell you that making a budget won’t be as easy as ABC but if the title of the article said it would be as hard as calculus I wouldn’t have many people reading it. I promise it won’t be as hard as calculus but it will take a little time and effort on your part and when it is all said and done, making a budget might not be as hard as you thought it was, if you only use your ABC’s.
You might wonder what building your savings has to do with making a budget. If you don’t have any money in your savings, the probability will be high that you won’t be able to maintain your budget. Nobody likes to plan on things going wrong and most people don’t make it a line item in their budget, but the truth is, it is not a matter of if you will have an unexpected emergency, it is only a matter of when. Having money set aside in a safe, liquid account (i.e. FDIC Savings Account) separate from your checking can help you stay in the green when the next unexpected bill comes up. is for Commitment
Steve Repak, CFP®, is a Speaker, Army Veteran, and the author of Dollars & Uncommon Sense: Basic Training For Your Money. He has been a frequent guest on Fox and Friends, 700 Club, and Fox Business and has been featured in Forbes, Investor’s Business Daily, MSN Money and Yahoo Finance.
When the going gets tough do you get going? Being committed will require sacrifices and to tell you the truth sacrificing is one of the hardest things to do but is necessary in order to spend less. I relate budgeting to diet and exercise. You don’t see a lot of results in the beginning but the longer you stick with it the better the results you will get. By staying positive and taking it one day at a time, there isn’t anything you can’t accomplish. If you will apply these simple practices to your finances, you will find you will have more money in the bank at the end of the month. By the way, having more money in the bank at the end of the month is the reason why you make a budget to start with.
• Do you need parenting advice? Are you looking for information on money management? Do you need a devotional or maybe help moving forward in your walk with God? If so, be sure to check out all our books and resource materials. • Are you looking for financial assistance, help finding a job, or simply exploring more resources available to you as a single parent? Check out our resource list at http://thelifeofasinglemom.com/TLSM-Resource-List.pdf FOR CHURCHES
Each issue, we are committed to bring you, the single parent, resources that will add value to your life, encourage you, and/or meet a tangible need. Single Mom Financial Help At SingleMomFinancialHelp.com we strive to help women from all walks of life by providing information about various aspects of financial assistance and financial advice. We have created a support system where women can feel comfortable in reaching out to each other, letting others know of where they have been, what they are doing now, and where they see themselves going with their families. Our site will help educate you on finances, business, healthcare, debt, credit and financial planning. Being educated on these matters, you will learn important leadership skills that can be applied in your day-to-day living. Together we strive to contribute and give wisdom to help strengthen the lives of single moms nationally. We believe women everywhere can become more knowledgeable and productive members of society as they fulfill the most important role of all: parent. As a single mother, finances are just one of the many tasks that might plague you, but our site can help alleviate some of that stress. You will find the latest financial help for single mothers. Whether you’re looking for information about buying a new home, getting out of debt, programs that provide support for single mothers, or if you want to find other single moms going through the same thing, we can help you with all your financial needs.
COVENANT EYES Covenant Eyes helps keep your family safe online Our children are under assault: 90% of kids are exposed to Internet pornography, most while doing their homework. Meanwhile, 67% of kids say they erase their history so their parents won’t know what they do online. Today’s Internet brings challenges that no other generation of parents has faced. Sitting with your kids when they use the Internet (or cutting off access to the Internet entirely) is ineffective in today’s environment. There are simply too many devices that access the web and WIFI is everywhere. Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering helps parents keep up with their kids online and have ongoing conversations about how they use and what they see on the Internet. Start learning the dangers—and how to protect your kids—by downloading your free copy of Protecting Your Family Online: A How-To Guide for Parents. Internet Accountability Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability monitors how the Internet is used on computers and mobile devices and rates every page visited, with ratings like T for Teen and M for Mature. Filtering Children, older teens, and adults should not be filtered at the same level. The Covenant Eyes Filter blocks sites based on ageappropriateness. You select what level of blocking is appropriate for each member of your family. Internet Accountability and The Covenant Eyes Filter is available for Windows, Mac, iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. Try It Free for 30 Days Use this link or use the promo code singlemom and try Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering free for 30 days. Share this code with your friends and neighbors so their homes are protected and safe for your child too.
Who We Are and What We Do There are approximately 15 million single parent households in the United States. We are not talking about another world. We are talking about your friend, your coworker, your neighbor, your sister, your mom or maybe even you. Single parents can often face challenging circumstances. Whether it is making parenting decisions alone, budgeting concerns, or emotional struggles, such as loneliness, stress, and frustration, the day-to-day may sometimes seem to be an insurmountable hill for a single parent. The Life of a Single Mom Ministries (TLSM) exists to see that no single mom walks alone, regardless of story, circumstance, or challenge. We believe that the church is the catalyst to change for single-parent families. It should be a source of strength, dignity, encouragement, and resources that draw others closer to Christ, while providing tangible help to these precious families. We believe that negative statistics can be eradicated. Each of these homes are filled with families that have great value to our Lord. TLSM educates churches and communities on the challenges single parents face. We also work with those churches to launch single parent support groups, ministries, and outreach programs. Additionally, we help single moms find a church in their area where they can connect and provide direct assistance to single parent families through a variety of resources. .
We want to help your church launch a successful single parent support group that works to provide parenting, financial, and emotional education and support to single parents in the community, while also providing a place for single parents to connect, network, and grow spiritually. Has your church started a single mom’s group? Do you have a desire to start a Bible study for single moms or improve an existing program at your church? Maybe your church started a single mom’s program at one time. Did it struggle to thrive? Do you need resource materials to help you teach single parents regarding parenting, financial instruction, or freedom in Christ? Do you want to host a life-changing single mom’s event in your community? Could you use some fresh ideas or encouragement in single parent ministry? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, The Life of a Single Mom can help you. We are an award-winning nonprofit organization committed to meeting the needs of single parents through church involvement and we’re here to help you. Visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com for more information.
FOR SINGLE PARENTS
There are a number of resources available to single parents through the efforts of TLSM. • Join us every Tuesday on Facebook for Topic Tuesdays, as we host an interactive, live chat with single parents around the country on a variety of single parent issues. • Check out our events page on our website for events near you. • If you are looking for a single parent support group in your area, simply email us your zip code and we will work to help find you a great place to connect locally. • Explore our free monthly newsletters and encouraging weekly articles.
Meet Flissie. She is the Operations Manager at The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is a 25-year-old single mom with a 6-year-old little girl. Before starting with TLSM, she was working three jobs, sometimes 22 hours a day, several days a week. Since joining our staff, she has a new hope and a new passion to help single moms like her find their place. Flissie is just one of the thousands of single moms helped through The Life of a Single Moms Ministries.
• Do you need parenting advice? Are you looking for information on money management? Do you need a devotional or maybe help moving forward in your walk with God? If so, be sure to check out all our books and resource materials. • Are you looking for financial assistance, help finding a job, or simply exploring more resources available to you as a single parent? Check out our resource list at http://thelifeofasinglemom.com/TLSM-Resource-List.pdf FOR CHURCHES
Each issue, we are committed to bring you, the single parent, resources that will add value to your life, encourage you, and/or meet a tangible need. Single Mom Financial Help At SingleMomFinancialHelp.com we strive to help women from all walks of life by providing information about various aspects of financial assistance and financial advice. We have created a support system where women can feel comfortable in reaching out to each other, letting others know of where they have been, what they are doing now, and where they see themselves going with their families. Our site will help educate you on finances, business, healthcare, debt, credit and financial planning. Being educated on these matters, you will learn important leadership skills that can be applied in your day-to-day living. Together we strive to contribute and give wisdom to help strengthen the lives of single moms nationally. We believe women everywhere can become more knowledgeable and productive members of society as they fulfill the most important role of all: parent. As a single mother, finances are just one of the many tasks that might plague you, but our site can help alleviate some of that stress. You will find the latest financial help for single mothers. Whether you’re looking for information about buying a new home, getting out of debt, programs that provide support for single mothers, or if you want to find other single moms going through the same thing, we can help you with all your financial needs.
COVENANT EYES Covenant Eyes helps keep your family safe online Our children are under assault: 90% of kids are exposed to Internet pornography, most while doing their homework. Meanwhile, 67% of kids say they erase their history so their parents won’t know what they do online. Today’s Internet brings challenges that no other generation of parents has faced. Sitting with your kids when they use the Internet (or cutting off access to the Internet entirely) is ineffective in today’s environment. There are simply too many devices that access the web and WIFI is everywhere. Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering helps parents keep up with their kids online and have ongoing conversations about how they use and what they see on the Internet. Start learning the dangers—and how to protect your kids—by downloading your free copy of Protecting Your Family Online: A How-To Guide for Parents. Internet Accountability Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability monitors how the Internet is used on computers and mobile devices and rates every page visited, with ratings like T for Teen and M for Mature. Filtering Children, older teens, and adults should not be filtered at the same level. The Covenant Eyes Filter blocks sites based on ageappropriateness. You select what level of blocking is appropriate for each member of your family. Internet Accountability and The Covenant Eyes Filter is available for Windows, Mac, iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. Try It Free for 30 Days Use this link or use the promo code singlemom and try Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering free for 30 days. Share this code with your friends and neighbors so their homes are protected and safe for your child too.
Who We Are and What We Do There are approximately 15 million single parent households in the United States. We are not talking about another world. We are talking about your friend, your coworker, your neighbor, your sister, your mom or maybe even you. Single parents can often face challenging circumstances. Whether it is making parenting decisions alone, budgeting concerns, or emotional struggles, such as loneliness, stress, and frustration, the day-to-day may sometimes seem to be an insurmountable hill for a single parent. The Life of a Single Mom Ministries (TLSM) exists to see that no single mom walks alone, regardless of story, circumstance, or challenge. We believe that the church is the catalyst to change for single-parent families. It should be a source of strength, dignity, encouragement, and resources that draw others closer to Christ, while providing tangible help to these precious families. We believe that negative statistics can be eradicated. Each of these homes are filled with families that have great value to our Lord. TLSM educates churches and communities on the challenges single parents face. We also work with those churches to launch single parent support groups, ministries, and outreach programs. Additionally, we help single moms find a church in their area where they can connect and provide direct assistance to single parent families through a variety of resources. .
We want to help your church launch a successful single parent support group that works to provide parenting, financial, and emotional education and support to single parents in the community, while also providing a place for single parents to connect, network, and grow spiritually. Has your church started a single mom’s group? Do you have a desire to start a Bible study for single moms or improve an existing program at your church? Maybe your church started a single mom’s program at one time. Did it struggle to thrive? Do you need resource materials to help you teach single parents regarding parenting, financial instruction, or freedom in Christ? Do you want to host a life-changing single mom’s event in your community? Could you use some fresh ideas or encouragement in single parent ministry? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, The Life of a Single Mom can help you. We are an award-winning nonprofit organization committed to meeting the needs of single parents through church involvement and we’re here to help you. Visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com for more information.
FOR SINGLE PARENTS
There are a number of resources available to single parents through the efforts of TLSM. • Join us every Tuesday on Facebook for Topic Tuesdays, as we host an interactive, live chat with single parents around the country on a variety of single parent issues. • Check out our events page on our website for events near you. • If you are looking for a single parent support group in your area, simply email us your zip code and we will work to help find you a great place to connect locally. • Explore our free monthly newsletters and encouraging weekly articles.
Meet Flissie. She is the Operations Manager at The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is a 25-year-old single mom with a 6-year-old little girl. Before starting with TLSM, she was working three jobs, sometimes 22 hours a day, several days a week. Since joining our staff, she has a new hope and a new passion to help single moms like her find their place. Flissie is just one of the thousands of single moms helped through The Life of a Single Moms Ministries.
Forgiving your
I
Ex
hate her, mom! I remember saying those words years ago to my own mom in reference to my daughter’s mother. It was Christmas Eve of 2006, and it was apparent that I was not going to get to see my daughter on her first Christmas. There weren’t any specific court times set regarding holidays. My daughter being only 7 ½ months old at the time. Her mother offered to let me have her about two hours that evening, which included an hour and a half drive. So really, I only got to spend thirty minutes with my little girl that night. Before I knew it, we were heading back for me to drop her off. All I wanted was to be a dad and enjoy Christmas with my daughter; to give her the love I never received on holidays from my own parents. I remember sitting on my bed filled with so much excitement and love towards her, but enormous anger towards her mom. At this point, I had not surrendered my life to the Lord yet. Consequently, this was all being handled in my flesh- quite a dangerous scenario! A few weeks later, I gave my life to Christ. Surprisingly, the first person I prayed for was my daughter’s mom. I realized how chaotic our relationship had been. There needed to be forgiveness. I dove, head-first, into church. I was baptized and
On the
Job Hunt?
In a world where unemployment is sky-rocketing and more homes are dependent upon one income, it is crucial that those who are actively seeking employment know how to do the “little things” well. What can you do to set yourself apart? How will potential employers remember you? Single moms, how do you get started if you haven’t been on a job hunt in many years? Here are a few tips to get you started: 1. Pound the pavement. Get your resume together. Put on a business suit. And go inside any business you may be interested in working and even some you may not be interested in! You will not likely speak to the manager, but leave a resume with the receptionist and attempt to secure a better time for an interview. Sometimes, this method can open a door with a company that may not be actively looking, but anticipates an opening in coming months. 2. List your resume on every online resource possible. Do not assume that the same openings that are on Monster.com are
began to seek out strong Christian influences. My daughter’s mom and I continued to battle, but as time went on, God was working on softening my heart. I pounded the Scriptures and prayer. Eventually, I came to a point where I needed to talk with her directly. I told her that I had turned my life around and that I forgave her and
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Eph 4:32
asked for her for forgiveness, too. It was not received well. Close friends encouraged me to lay it down and keep praying for her. In the years since, not a day goes by that I don’t pray for my daughter and her mom. I have memorized multiple verses that I apply regularly, when things get heated between us. I realize that God expects more of me as a believer and a father. I have learned to let the small things go, submit to a higher standard, and forgive. Yes, it’s a constant process - a choice - but I’ve seen blessings abound in every way. It is only in my hope and faith in Christ that I keep pressing forward. Matt Haviland is the founder of A Father’s vWalk, single dad ministry and author of “A Father’s Walk: A Christian-Based Resource for Single Fathers”. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI and is a single dad to a beautiful little girl. For more information, please visit www.afatherswalk.org
also on Careerbuilders.com and so forth. Take the time to list your resume everywhere, including Monster, CareerBuilders, TheLadders, government websites, local newspapers, and local hiring websites. 3. Comb through the local paper. While some may think this is an antiquated form of research, you will find that many desperate employers will put advertisements any and everywhere to find the right employee. 4. Be open to working for a temporary agency. You may be leery of accepting a temporary job, when you have permanent bills. But many temporary jobs turn into long-term jobs, and those that don’t can still produce good leads, future opportunities, and income flow. 5. Interview well. Show up early. Smile. Offer a strong handshake. Know the company you are interviewing with. Know what you do well and sell it. Be honest. 6. Send a mass email to every friend, acquaintance, or business prospect you know. Attach your resume. Friends of friends are a great resource on your job hunt.
Manners&Morals
M
anners enable your children to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, not for personal reward or gain. Manners enable your children to share God’s love with others. Manners build humble confidence in young children, which enables them to make wise moral choices in the tween and teen years. Instilling Manners in Your Children Let me offer a few suggestions of how to instill manners in your children’s hearts. Tykes: Three to Five • Encourage your kids to show concern for others. Give them a few pennies to share whenever someone asks. Buy an extra canned good for the food pantry and let your child place it in the barrel. • Say “thank you” to your kids and gently, consistently remind them to do the same. “What do you need to say?” is more effective than “Say, thank you.” • Say a prayer with your kids the next time you hear a siren, teaching them to think outside themselves. • Young children can open car doors for the elderly or befriend the child who’s left out by others. • Teach grace before meals. • Expect “Yes, m’am” and “Yes, sir,” teaching respect for elders. Don’t allow your children to call adults by their first names. • Brush up on your table manners. Your children will follow.
Tweens: Six to Twelve
• Teach telephone etiquette: How to answer the phone, take messages and make calls. • Require thank you notes for all kindnesses shown, not just gifts. • Insist that boys open doors for ladies and seat them for dinner. • Teach girls how to graciously accept help from a gentleman. • Practice a firm handshake while looking in the recipient’s eyes. • Continue table manners: Serving from the left, removing from the right; asking for food to be passed; waiting for all to be served before you begin eating; not leaving the table until all are finished, and asking to be excused before rising. Teens: Thirteen to Twenty • Invite adults over for dinner and involve teens in your conversations. • Teach your teen to offer to serve and clean up when eating at a friend’s. • Teach that your dress tells others what you think of yourself. • Teach your sons to be respectful of girls. • Don’t walk in front of a girl, walk beside her or behind her, in public places, such as restaurants and movie houses. • Don’t use inappropriate language or off-color jokes in the company of girls. (Or anyone, for that matter!)
• Teach your girls how to be ladies. • Sit in such a way that you don’t expose yourself. • Boys should pursue you, not run from you. • Teach the importance of responding to RSVP within twenty-four hours of receipt. • Above all, insist that commitments are kept. If you begin the work of instilling manners in your children when they’re young, they will “grow in wisdom and stature, and favor with God and man.”1 1 Luke 2: 52 (KJV) Quotes: We lost our manners when we became lost in ourselves. Manners help kids grow up believing, it’s more about others and less about me. To show respect is to put the needs of others ahead of your wants. Jill Rigby Garner, nonprofit founder of Manners of the Heart®, is an inspiring speaker, award-winning author, and publisher of heart education programs for schools. Jill’s latest book is Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World. Jill’s calling is to bring God’s principles of respect and civility to our society. WEBSITES: www.mannersoftheheart.org www.jillrigbygarner.com
7. Keep your old job until you find a new one, when possible. Many employers want to see that you are actively working, not just waiting on the perfect opportunity. 8. Be willing to start at the bottom. It doesn’t matter if you were the CEO of ABC Company 10 years ago. You are unemployed now and sometimes that means you start over. Leave your ego at the door. 9. Don’t sell yourself short. You are capable of doing many things. Diversify your job search to include some things that you were too timid to try before. 10. Utilize social media contacts to job search. Also, be certain that your social media reflects what you would want any future employer to see. Jennifer Maggio is one of the nation’s leading authorities on single parents and women’s issues. She is an awardwinning author and founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is a regular on radio and television. For more information, visit www.jennifermaggio.com.
Become a Homeowner Refinance Your Existing Mortgage Save Money Monthly Consolidate Bills Same Day Pre-Approval Call today for your FREE, NO OBLIGATION quote! GMFS LLC is an Equal Housing Lender. All mortgages are originated by GMFS at 7389 Florida Blvd Suite 200A Baton Rouge, LA 70806. Louisiana License 619 and NMLS 64997.
JEFF MAGGIO Senior Mortgage Consultant Toll Free:(888) 883-5774 ext.5083
jmaggio@gmfslending.com jmaggio@gmfslending.com NMLS #109006
Forgiving your
I
Ex
hate her, mom! I remember saying those words years ago to my own mom in reference to my daughter’s mother. It was Christmas Eve of 2006, and it was apparent that I was not going to get to see my daughter on her first Christmas. There weren’t any specific court times set regarding holidays. My daughter being only 7 ½ months old at the time. Her mother offered to let me have her about two hours that evening, which included an hour and a half drive. So really, I only got to spend thirty minutes with my little girl that night. Before I knew it, we were heading back for me to drop her off. All I wanted was to be a dad and enjoy Christmas with my daughter; to give her the love I never received on holidays from my own parents. I remember sitting on my bed filled with so much excitement and love towards her, but enormous anger towards her mom. At this point, I had not surrendered my life to the Lord yet. Consequently, this was all being handled in my flesh- quite a dangerous scenario! A few weeks later, I gave my life to Christ. Surprisingly, the first person I prayed for was my daughter’s mom. I realized how chaotic our relationship had been. There needed to be forgiveness. I dove, head-first, into church. I was baptized and
On the
Job Hunt?
In a world where unemployment is sky-rocketing and more homes are dependent upon one income, it is crucial that those who are actively seeking employment know how to do the “little things” well. What can you do to set yourself apart? How will potential employers remember you? Single moms, how do you get started if you haven’t been on a job hunt in many years? Here are a few tips to get you started: 1. Pound the pavement. Get your resume together. Put on a business suit. And go inside any business you may be interested in working and even some you may not be interested in! You will not likely speak to the manager, but leave a resume with the receptionist and attempt to secure a better time for an interview. Sometimes, this method can open a door with a company that may not be actively looking, but anticipates an opening in coming months. 2. List your resume on every online resource possible. Do not assume that the same openings that are on Monster.com are
began to seek out strong Christian influences. My daughter’s mom and I continued to battle, but as time went on, God was working on softening my heart. I pounded the Scriptures and prayer. Eventually, I came to a point where I needed to talk with her directly. I told her that I had turned my life around and that I forgave her and
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Eph 4:32
asked for her for forgiveness, too. It was not received well. Close friends encouraged me to lay it down and keep praying for her. In the years since, not a day goes by that I don’t pray for my daughter and her mom. I have memorized multiple verses that I apply regularly, when things get heated between us. I realize that God expects more of me as a believer and a father. I have learned to let the small things go, submit to a higher standard, and forgive. Yes, it’s a constant process - a choice - but I’ve seen blessings abound in every way. It is only in my hope and faith in Christ that I keep pressing forward. Matt Haviland is the founder of A Father’s vWalk, single dad ministry and author of “A Father’s Walk: A Christian-Based Resource for Single Fathers”. He lives in Grand Rapids, MI and is a single dad to a beautiful little girl. For more information, please visit www.afatherswalk.org
also on Careerbuilders.com and so forth. Take the time to list your resume everywhere, including Monster, CareerBuilders, TheLadders, government websites, local newspapers, and local hiring websites. 3. Comb through the local paper. While some may think this is an antiquated form of research, you will find that many desperate employers will put advertisements any and everywhere to find the right employee. 4. Be open to working for a temporary agency. You may be leery of accepting a temporary job, when you have permanent bills. But many temporary jobs turn into long-term jobs, and those that don’t can still produce good leads, future opportunities, and income flow. 5. Interview well. Show up early. Smile. Offer a strong handshake. Know the company you are interviewing with. Know what you do well and sell it. Be honest. 6. Send a mass email to every friend, acquaintance, or business prospect you know. Attach your resume. Friends of friends are a great resource on your job hunt.
Manners&Morals
M
anners enable your children to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, not for personal reward or gain. Manners enable your children to share God’s love with others. Manners build humble confidence in young children, which enables them to make wise moral choices in the tween and teen years. Instilling Manners in Your Children Let me offer a few suggestions of how to instill manners in your children’s hearts. Tykes: Three to Five • Encourage your kids to show concern for others. Give them a few pennies to share whenever someone asks. Buy an extra canned good for the food pantry and let your child place it in the barrel. • Say “thank you” to your kids and gently, consistently remind them to do the same. “What do you need to say?” is more effective than “Say, thank you.” • Say a prayer with your kids the next time you hear a siren, teaching them to think outside themselves. • Young children can open car doors for the elderly or befriend the child who’s left out by others. • Teach grace before meals. • Expect “Yes, m’am” and “Yes, sir,” teaching respect for elders. Don’t allow your children to call adults by their first names. • Brush up on your table manners. Your children will follow.
Tweens: Six to Twelve
• Teach telephone etiquette: How to answer the phone, take messages and make calls. • Require thank you notes for all kindnesses shown, not just gifts. • Insist that boys open doors for ladies and seat them for dinner. • Teach girls how to graciously accept help from a gentleman. • Practice a firm handshake while looking in the recipient’s eyes. • Continue table manners: Serving from the left, removing from the right; asking for food to be passed; waiting for all to be served before you begin eating; not leaving the table until all are finished, and asking to be excused before rising. Teens: Thirteen to Twenty • Invite adults over for dinner and involve teens in your conversations. • Teach your teen to offer to serve and clean up when eating at a friend’s. • Teach that your dress tells others what you think of yourself. • Teach your sons to be respectful of girls. • Don’t walk in front of a girl, walk beside her or behind her, in public places, such as restaurants and movie houses. • Don’t use inappropriate language or off-color jokes in the company of girls. (Or anyone, for that matter!)
• Teach your girls how to be ladies. • Sit in such a way that you don’t expose yourself. • Boys should pursue you, not run from you. • Teach the importance of responding to RSVP within twenty-four hours of receipt. • Above all, insist that commitments are kept. If you begin the work of instilling manners in your children when they’re young, they will “grow in wisdom and stature, and favor with God and man.”1 1 Luke 2: 52 (KJV) Quotes: We lost our manners when we became lost in ourselves. Manners help kids grow up believing, it’s more about others and less about me. To show respect is to put the needs of others ahead of your wants. Jill Rigby Garner, nonprofit founder of Manners of the Heart®, is an inspiring speaker, award-winning author, and publisher of heart education programs for schools. Jill’s latest book is Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World. Jill’s calling is to bring God’s principles of respect and civility to our society. WEBSITES: www.mannersoftheheart.org www.jillrigbygarner.com
7. Keep your old job until you find a new one, when possible. Many employers want to see that you are actively working, not just waiting on the perfect opportunity. 8. Be willing to start at the bottom. It doesn’t matter if you were the CEO of ABC Company 10 years ago. You are unemployed now and sometimes that means you start over. Leave your ego at the door. 9. Don’t sell yourself short. You are capable of doing many things. Diversify your job search to include some things that you were too timid to try before. 10. Utilize social media contacts to job search. Also, be certain that your social media reflects what you would want any future employer to see. Jennifer Maggio is one of the nation’s leading authorities on single parents and women’s issues. She is an awardwinning author and founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is a regular on radio and television. For more information, visit www.jennifermaggio.com.
Become a Homeowner Refinance Your Existing Mortgage Save Money Monthly Consolidate Bills Same Day Pre-Approval Call today for your FREE, NO OBLIGATION quote! GMFS LLC is an Equal Housing Lender. All mortgages are originated by GMFS at 7389 Florida Blvd Suite 200A Baton Rouge, LA 70806. Louisiana License 619 and NMLS 64997.
JEFF MAGGIO Senior Mortgage Consultant Toll Free:(888) 883-5774 ext.5083
jmaggio@gmfslending.com jmaggio@gmfslending.com NMLS #109006
Articles By Nationally-Recognized Speakers Amanda Carroll and Jefferson Bethke
THE SINGLE MOMS MAGAZINE VOL 1, ISSUE 3
http://rebeccafisherbooks.com/
Dreaming Again by Misty Honnold
L
ast year, my youngest son played Cogsworth in the musical production “Beauty and the Beast”. I was overwhelmed with joy and pride, as I watched not only his performance, but his three older siblings go to great lengths to take off work, make travel arrangements, and re-arrange class schedules to cheer him on. This was indeed a dream come true: a family restored, siblings who love and support one another. They are healed, emotionally healthy children. I was standing in the midst of my promised land. Fourteen years earlier, our family had been torn apart by divorce, and my children’s hearts were deeply wounded. Anger was the emotion that manifested the strongest in my children, though fear, rebellion, and sadness seemed constant, too. Every dream I had for the future of our family had been ripped away through my divorce - I was all too familiar with the statistics that thundered “hopelessness” over my children’s lives, and as long as I remained married, I thought somehow they would escape the problems that had plagued me and my husband’s lives. I felt, for a long time, that I had no hope to offer my children. As I cried out to the Lord night after night, he began to give me a vision of his dreams for my family. I began to look to God’s word rather than myself for counsel, comfort, and hope. I began to see how vital it was to the future
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of my children for me, as the leader of my household, to personally have hope and vision for the future. I could not merely survive each day and hope that things would turn out different for my children than they had for me, rather I had to see what God said about His dreams for my children and then learn how to partner with Him to see the dreams of His heart and my heart fulfilled. God tells us we must get a vision for the future He has for us or we will perish, (Proverbs 29:18), and I realized that in my own hopelessness, I needed to see God’s vision for my own future and the futures of my children. This I know is true: God has dreams in His heart and longs to reveal them to us. A dream I chose to hold on to is that “All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children” (Isaiah 54:13). As we begin to discover the dreams of God’s heart and partner with Him to see these dreams come to pass, He does more than we could ever imagine in our hearts and lives, as well as in those of our children.
Misty Honnold is the Founder and Director of The Single MOM KC. A single mother of four, Misty also facilitates local and regional events to bless, encourage, and strengthen single mothers. Misty has devoted her life to loving the Lord, loving her family, and seeing restoration take place in women and families.
MAKING A BUDGET EASY AS ABC
FORGIVING YOUR EX
— SAVINGS AND RESOURCES FOR SINGLE MOMS —