Seeing Blue

seeing blue by jane ahn

I experience my first stomach-drop at the age of four, tiny hands clinging tightly to chains, trying desperately not to fall off the seat of the swing. My dad cheers and claps his hands as I shriek, the swooping feeling of the swing unfamiliar but thrilling. Scared, I cry until he stops the swing, but as soon as he does, I demand to be pushed again. Up - I see light blue skies - down - the blur of the apartments leads to sand and - up - I see blue again.

The playground at Drew University was, and is, a treasure trove of my dearest, earliest childhood memories. My father had decided to pick us all up and move us from Seoul, South Korea, all the way to Madison, New Jersey, to attend seminary.* I was too young to understand what moving meant and was (unsurprisingly) able to adjust faster than the rest of my family members. The playground helped. Despite being on a campus filled with wide, paved streets and brick-red buildings, the playground brought a softness to the academic environment of Drew University. It attracted other children my age, and we would often round out wet, sandy “doughnuts” topped with sandy sprinkles for our parents to enjoy. I remember feeling genuine confusion when my parents never bit into my treats.

I thrived on the playground. My mother’s youngest brother came to visit us mere months after we immigrated. He told me this past winter about how I, despite not knowing a word of English, managed to befriend a small group of kids. According to him, I went as far as teaching them Korean words while stoutly refusing to speak English. I’m sure the students of Drew were surprised to see American kids shouting, “안녕!” or “안돼!” with a little Asian girl acting as if it were the most natural thing in the world.**

It’s incredible how people of the same background manage to collect one another. One minute, I was teaching American kids how to say hello. The next, I was in a room full of Korean Americans and Korean internationals all celebrating Chuseok, the kids arguing to see who could drink the most Sprite and our parents too busy playing yutnori and hwatu to notice. Though, the best part of these community gatherings was the indoor playground in the basement: brightly colored plastic slides were placed all around the room. The floor was covered in soft foam puzzle mats, and a ball pit lay in the corner, stray red, blue, and yellow balls dotting the surrounding area. There were enough car toys to go around and enough space to share all of the riches of the playroom. I can’t remember what we would play, but I remember always searching for my mother to ask permission to be allowed to leave the celebrations early and go to the playroom.

Playtime wasn’t limited to holidays, thankfully. The tradition of college students setting off fire alarms like there is no tomorrow is a venerable and revered one, and the residential apartments of Drew University ten years ago were not about to break such an established practice. I remember being dragged out of bed, wearing only my thin, summertime pajamas in the nighttime chill. Fortunately, my friends lived in adjacent buildings and were also all out. This was good. Very good. I whipped my head to turn to my mom and heard her say, “Go ahead,” before I could even open my mouth. We zipped through the night air, the idea of getting to be on the playground after dark a new and revolutionary concept for us.

Though everyone else was disgruntled and sleepy, my friends and I started to look forward to the fire alarms that gave us extra playtime.

The college campus wasn’t my only playground. My father, being at seminary, was studying to be a pastor. If Drew occupied my weekdays, attending Arcola church defined my Sundays, summers, and Friday nights. The church building was large. After the renovations, it got even larger - two elevators, three extra floors, and a new gym. I spent Friday night youth groups exploring the new wings and learning how to do cartwheels. And no longer would I have to take the stairs, like a mortal! Now, I had the speed and power of a clean, sleek elevator. Plays, dinners, and movie nights in the new gymnasium; races in the smoothly paved parking lot; Sunday school, choir, and VBS activities in the sparkling classrooms - Arcola had it all.

I played at home, too. After coming home and bathing, I would write and draw. A stack of A4 paper and my set of art supplies waited for me at my small desk, where I would write, illustrate, and publish my own “books.” The finished products would go into my “library,” a thick white binder with plastic sleeves. Fantasy, narratives, nonfiction, mysteries - my library had it all. I still have my stories, tucked into a corner somewhere, waiting for me to find them again. Whenever I think back on these memories, I am overwhelmed with wistfulness, mourning, and contentment. I miss my childhood so much, yet I am worried that I romanticize my own memories. Still, playtime was a natural part of my life that I looked forward to every single day and that created nostalgic memories. But I don’t want playing to stay a memory; I want playing to become integrated into my current reality. I want to develop calluses on my hands from monkey bars, burn holes in my jeans from tripping, and live for joy in the simplest ways. Is it unrealistic? Or attainable? Both? Neither? Something else entirely? How do I bring back play from my childhood into my adult life? I don’t really care to figure out the philosophies and motivations behind my wanting. The questions can exist, but I’m in no rush to figure them out. For now, I just want to play.

*Seminary is graduate school for those who want to pursue careers in theology. **안녕 means hi. 안돼 means no.

This prompt will take you through a series of fun and relaxing activities that will encourage you to reflect and appreciate yourself in this moment. As you go through the following list, you will be prompted to write and collect your thoughts. After you’ve completed each prompt, put all your written bits together in an envelope. This will be your affirmation kit for any time you are feeling overwhelmed!

For each emotion listed, write a sentence or two about a time when you felt that emotion. If you’re feeling brave, tap into vulnerability and go share your memory with someone who made you feel that way.

We can all use more wise words in our lives. Take a minute to contemplate these quotes from children’s books, then write one down on a slip of paper and go hide it somewhere ordinary (like a jacket pocket or in a textbook). The note will be a pleasant surprise when you come across it in the future! Note: We acknowledge that Dr. Seuss held many racist and speci cally Anti-Asian viewpoints, and by no means do we endorse these racist ideas in our inclusion of his quotes. Despite his troubling political orientations, we believe that there is still value in these words, and invite readers to consider this tension as an acknowledgment that the playgrounds and memories of our childhood are often steeped in I don' t need very much now, " said the boy, "just a quiet place to sit and rest. The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein complicated contradictions between nostalgia and newfound awareness of hidden histories, harsh realities, and injustice.

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. Happy Birthday to You!, Dr. Seuss

I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.

The Cat in the Hat, Dr. Seuss

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not. The Lorax, Dr. Seuss

So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains. Oh the Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss

tinyurl.com/4xscv9ws Share a song! Music is a beautiful thing and a lovely way to spend time with important people in our lives. Choose one of these song suggestions and invite a family member or other loved one to listen to it with you.

tinyurl.com/eh989nrz

Put on your thinkingtiara and get ready to tackle this word search! An extra bonus is that the list of words is a list of reading suggestions, so go enjoy the wonderful world of books and stories!

Monkey for Sale Roses Sing On New Snow When You Reach Me Price and Prejudice Percy Jackson The Book Thief Olivia Falling Up Angelina Ballerina The Summer I Learned to Fly

Untangle your laces, get ready to blaze a path, and build your confidence through these four mazes! At each end, write down a point of pride/ confidence or an affirmation.

Explore your language learning skills and make some flashcards! Fill in the blanks with this word in another language that you want to learn... feel free to go consult a translator or dictionary!

inspired by Johnson Lin

strawberry

spoon

flower

glasses

scissors

Colorful Card Corner

inspired by Jane Ahn

Make a colorful kindness card for someone! Grab some colorful crayons, markers, or pens and use these cut-out templates to make a card to give to someone you appreciate. It can be someone close to you, someone you admire from afar, or someone who helps brighten your day in little ways. Indulge in colorful creativity and spread the kindness!

bracelet

toothbrush

book

Make a happy lantern! While it may not provide light or vitamin D, this lantern is an easy craft activity that will make a lantern full of good vibes and peaceful thoughts to remind you to feel content.

Supplies: paper or cardstock, scissors, stapler or tape, glue, ruler, pencil

Things to decorate your lantern with: gift wrap paper, washi tape, ribbons, sequins, stickers, glitter glue, small buttons, etc.

Directions:

1. Start out with any rectangular sheet of paper or cardstock. 2. Give it happy vibes! Write down favorite memories, places, people, or things that make you feel happy. 3. Cut a 1-inch wide strip off on one short side. Set this aside for the handle. 4. Fold the paper in half, lengthwise. 5. Draw a horizontal line one inch from the long edge opposite the fold. 6. Starting from the folded edge, cut a straight line about an inch from one short edge, all the way up to the horizontal line. 7. Continue to cut more straight lines about 1 inch apart until you reach the opposite short edge of the paper. Remember that the horizontal line marks the point where you stop cutting each straight line. 8. Unfold the paper. The paper will have several vertical slits along the middle. Erase any pencil marks or re-fold the crease the opposite way to hide the pencil marks at the back. 9. You can keep your lantern plain or decorate the top and bottom edges with more symbols of peace and happiness. Make your happy lantern glow! 10. Transform the paper into a lantern by forming it into a tube shape. Overlap the long edges at least ½-inch. Staple or tape at the top and bottom of the overlap. 11. Take the paper handle you made in Step 3. Glue the ends on the inside of the lantern’s top edge. Decorate the handle if you like.

The following mindfulness activity offers a chance to ground yourself in the present and appreciate your whole being. We hope this activity warms your soul and uplifts your importance in the world, because you matter and there are people in this world who care deeply about you. After you meditate on the mindfulness prompt, compose your answers into a poetic verse of selfaffirmation inspired by the lyrical children’s book Eyes that Kiss in the Corners by Joanna Ho.

Think about a physical trait that relates to your ethnic background/ancestry. Name 3 positive things about this trait. Give gratitude to this trait for making you part of who you are. Give gratitude to the lineages and ancestry that have bestowed this trait upon you.

Now take some time to build a stronger relationship with this trait.

• What does the trait allow you to do? • What are some words you would use to describe to describe this trait? What are some things you would compare the trait to? How does it make you feel? • Who is someone who loves you and makes you feel good about this trait?

Now, fill out the following prompts. Consult the grammar toolkit if you are unsure how to word your answers.

1. What physical trait were you thinking about? 2. What is a verb phrase that describes the physical trait? 3. What is a noun that you might compare this trait to? 4. What is an adjective that describes this trait? 5. Who is a person who makes you feel good about this trait? 6. What is a word/emotion that describes how this trait makes you feel?

Go to page ? and fill in the blanks with your answers to each numbered question!

Now you are going to spend some time thinking about the person who loves you and makes you feel good about the physical trait that you built a relationship with in the first part of this activity. Take a breath and imagine this person is sharing space with you. Think about some of the reasons that you have a relationship with this person. Give gratitude that this person is in your life.

Now take some time to think about the shared powers you hold with this person.

• What is a trait (can be physical, or mental/emotional/personality trait) that you share with this person? • How does this trait empower you? What are some words you would use to describe to describe this trait? What are some things you would compare the trait to? • How does it make you feel?

Now, fill out the following prompts. Consult the grammar toolkit if you are unsure how to word your answers.

7. Who is the person you were thinking about? 8. What is the shared trait were you thinking about? 9. What is a verb phrase that describes the physical trait? 10. What is a verb phrase that describes what this physical trait allows you to do? 11. What is an adjective that describes this trait? 12. What is a word/emotion that describes how this trait makes you feel?

Go to page ? and fill in the blanks with your answers to each numbered question

Grammar Toolkit • Examples of a verb phrase: ‘shine like the sun, sparkle in the morning, run with the beating of a thousand butterfly wings’ • A noun is a person, place, thing, or idea. Usually one or two words. • An adjective is a descriptive word, ie ‘blue, twinkling, smooth’

This recipe is an invitation to break the rules and make mistakes, embracing the process to create a product that is messy and unique. The flexibility in this recipe recognizes that we all have different resources at hand, and celebrates that we can make magic with whatever we have on hand. It’s a choose your own adventure and there are endless possibilities, so go forth and sparkle in culinary chaos!

Instructions • Choose a few ingredients from some of all of the categories . There is no magic formula, just experiment! I’ve put suggestions/measurements for the timid chef, but I strongly encourage you to follow what feels right to you. • Mix your chosen ingredients together in a bowl. Spread love into your mixture and combine well to let the ingredients play with each other, but don’t force homogeneity. • Depending on the consistency of your batter, bake accordingly: • Liquid consistency: Make muffins or cake by pouring batter into a prepared pan (use oil or line with parchment paper/muffin wrappers) and baking at 350F for 20-30 min (muffins), 40-60 min (cake). Use a toothpick test to determine done-ness. • Solid consistency: If the batter can be formed into cookies, form balls and place on a prepared sheet or spread into a pan for bar cookies. Bake at 350F until browned and cooked through, 10-30 min (you’ll have to check often...good experiments need attention). • Mixed consistency: If your batter is sort of liquid, sort of solid, or if you are just in the mood for crackers/crispy snacks, spread your batter thinly on a parchment lined baking sheet and bake at 325F until browned —10-15 min. Continue baking at 250-300F (lower temp if it’s browning too much) until thoroughly dried out —you’ll have to check often, could take 10 min, could take 40 min! I love to do this with an oat-banana based batter and break up the baked cracker for a yummy granola bark!

Go outside and find a quiet spot to sit. Observe your surroundings and draw 5 things into the terrarium that you see, hear, feel, smell, or taste.

Mycelium networks are the underground systems of fungi that connect to trees and help them communicate and share resources. This activity invites you to think of your mycelium network as a way to reimagine/ reconceputalize your family tree. While family trees trace straight biological lineages, a family mycelium network is an opportunity to disrupt disparate generations and include non-biological family members. A family mycelium network recognizes that our ancestors are present with us even if we never met them, that family extends to friends and loved ones, and that relationships are built in multiplicities, not simple lines. We invite you to contemplate people who care and support you, in past or in present times, then fill in your mycelium network with photos, drawings, or just simple names that represent them.

was founded in the Fall 2018 semester by Alex (Ji Won Kim), as programming for the Asian Students’ Committee (ASC) through Asian Students’ Alliance (ASA). We’ve interviewed some of the original contributors, who have stuck with Portrait since its very first issue (appropriately themed The Beginning), to find out more about them and their relationship with the publication!

Written by Gabor Fu Ptacek and Jane Ahn

Edited by Katherine Lim

Designed by Sandro Lorenzo

why did you start Portrait?

You were on ASA EB when Alex decided to begin Portrait through ASC. Can you speak on the experience of being both an outside and inside influence to Portrait?

Alex: I started portrait for two reasons. First, I wanted a space where Asian-identifying students can freely express themselves and feel comfortable about having discussions that are not often brought up in other spaces. As an Asian international student whose first language is not English, I have always struggled to voice my opinions in front of others; oftentimes, I felt like my opinions and experiences were not valuable or relevant enough to be shared. My hope was to create an inclusive and welcoming environment where people with similar experiences come together and empower each other through the creative process. Second, I am a huge fan of the magazines and journalism, and I simply wanted a creative outlet where I can further develop my writing and design skills. I have also met incredibly talented Asian-identifying writers and designers at Vassar and to me, it seemed like they were all spread out across the campus. In retrospect, I think a part of me knew that a project like Portrait could not go wrong - I mean, how can you not get excited by the combination of free-style storytelling and cutting-edge design? It’s the best of both worlds!

Johnson: I was on board with everything the board had in mind: printing the first issues, planning the launch party at the Loeb. And we were very lucky that ASA had a huge budget and we were so good about being so intentional with our money that we had the money to support these ideas. So there wasn’t any conflict or anything. It was all very seamless, I would submit receipts and go grocery shopping for the Loeb launch. I honestly didn’t really think about it as outside and inside influence until you pointed it out. I will say that I think it did automatically make me the equivalent of an EB member back then (since it was just an offshoot of ASA) as any treasurer things had to go through me. So I feel a little fake being called a founding member because I was really just doing my job as ASA treasurer and maybe being more involved than I had to, but I had no qualms about it because I did really enjoy it.

Tamika: It was really exciting to hear Alex propose the idea to ASA EB, and I think knowing the backstory and her thinking behind Portrait definitely increased my interest in joining the group. It definitely seemed ambitious for an ASC project, but I think the vibes of EB were super supportive and believed in it, and Alex was so admirably dedicated, that it seemed feasible and I’m so glad it worked out!

You’ve also built the design aspect pretty much from the ground up - can you walk us through that process?

Am: Alex and I designed many of the spreads in the first magazine. I honestly didn’t really know what I was doing, and relied on most of what I’d taught myself design-wise over the past few years, a lot of which wasn’t relevant for a magazine. Alex brought forward a lot of inspiration, and it’s to her vision, standard of delivery, and generous trust in me that I owe what I was able to build design-wise from that point on. There was a lot more interest in Portrait by the time the second issue came around, and so the design team expanded accordingly. At this point, it made sense for me to focus on that division of Portrait, while Alex stepped into the role of EIC and oversaw the content of the magazine. Managing a team of designers, especially with my limited experience and sense of what to do, was overwhelming; my scope of work suddenly went from interpreting and displaying writers’ work through meaningful visual choices, to that plus guiding, supporting, and collaborating with people who had their own set of experiences, ideas, and talents to showcase. Though a lot to take on initially, it ended up going really well—I remember those Rose Parlor meetings fondly, and it’s all thanks to how wonderful the people I got to work with were. That semester also solidified for me the fact that Portrait was not just a magazine, but a space where teaching and learning takes place—where one comes to listen, share, and contribute, regardless of experience—and where people come to gather, to be together, in a really intentional way (whether it was to create or to view the completed magazine). To have a space that placed more emphasis on exploration than instruction, that cared just as much (if not more) about the people behind the work and the work itself, and to have the trust to have a hand in creating that very space, is something that’s very special and that I continue to be very grateful for. Over the next couple of issues, I got to iterate the experience of being a designer for Portrait and the process of making the magazine visually, tangibly come to life. It is also incredibly rare to get to do this: to go at something again, over and over, with the same and new people, and to have those people embrace you being in that position every time. Today, the design process is punctuated by brainstorming, teaching & learning, and critique sessions, and tries to strike a balance between providing structured support and independence (process-wise and design style-wise). As our EB members change, as the total page count for each issue continues to fluctuate, as contributors move in and out of and between roles, the design process will too. I can’t wait to see what it’ll look like next.

You’ve been heavily involved with Portrait, even before becoming an EB member. Is there an ‘invisible’ aspect of Portrait that you’d like to share?

You and Emma worked together on the Migration Stories the first two semesters of Portrait. Can you walk us through Portrait’s first collaborative project?

Am: This is perhaps a bit of a cop-out answer, but just the sheer hard work and dedication that each EB member gives to Portrait. I use the word ‘give’ because each EB members’ time, energy, care, ideas, organization (and everything else they bring forward) is really such a gift— it is all so generative, and provides fertile ground not just for a meaningful, tangible thing to be created (the magazine), but also for so many people to share space in a really special way. There are many individuals who have been very intentional about shaping Portrait and the experience of being a part of it to be what it is today. It can be easy to not notice this work sometimes, and I want to continue to shine a light on it.

Tamika: So nostalgic! I was really excited that Emma and I were going to work on a collaborative project because I totally saw it as an opportunity to get to know her better and hopefully become friends. So the process of collaboration with Emma definitely speaks to the relationship building potential of Portrait! For the broader collaboration, this piece was an honor to be part of because we got so many wonderful submissions from students sharing their families’ stories. We put out a call for students to share how their family came to the United States, and the responses were incredible! People were very open and it felt really special to get to pull together all these different stories and weave them into a piece that paints a picture of how Asian/Asian American stories have evolved. It really just felt like an opportunity to get to know people a little better and to celebrate them just for being who they are, and that was really simple but I think powerful when put together into a collective piece? Honestly the joy I found in this project is probably a big part of the reason why I decided to keep writing with Portrait and have often done collaborative or crowd-sourced pieces. The phrase ‘the whole is more than the sum of its parts’ really resonates with all the collaborative pieces I’ve done and I find this incredibly rewarding!!

Tell us about how you have organized the Loeb Launches for Portrait! What did that process look like? What factors did you take into consideration?

Grace: I live for Portrait’s launches! What I find so special about then Launches is that they really are meant to be celebrations of the hard work and efforts that all of Portrait’s contributors put into making the amazing issues we’ve published thus far. When Portrait was just beginning, I had just assumed my new position as a member of the Student Advisory Committee at the Loeb, and I remember just looking around the very white walls of the art center and missing the stories that resembled my own if not those that were familiar to me. So, I take my role in organizing the Launches as one of leveraging my position in the Loeb to carve out that space for the countless wonderful stories that the Asian-identifying students of Portrait publish. In terms of planning it, I have to keep my ears to the ground, so to speak: I always consider the theme as well as how each piece is in response and/or in conversation with the theme of a given issue. For me, getting to hear and to witness everyone’s processes in getting to the final draft is such an enjoyable part of planning the launches. Having been with Portrait since the beginning is what motivates me to work on making sure the Launches reflect Portrait’s growth over the years while, of course, keeping to the celebratory spirit of the Launches. With that said, I’m really looking forward to the day when we can all mingle and sip apple cider together again!

What is your favorite part of Portrait?

Jane: Oh geez, this is a hard question. I love everything about Portrait. Maybe the people? The writing process? The way that an entire semester of hard work and editing and designing births the most beautiful magazine in the world? I definitely love having the magazine in my hands to flip through and cry over, but I also really love the beginning of each semester, right when we first determine the theme. I love the way that each theme Portrait has taken on is open-ended enough that any number of interpretations can occur but also facilitate the ideation for very specific kinds of pieces. The start of a new issue is just so incomparable in the levels of excitement and anticipation I feel to the start of anything else.

Johnson: How talented people are. Like seriously, people have such cool and varied topics. Some people have such a compelling personal story and others have more poetic fiction. And the designers kill it every time. Like I am legitimately jealous of all this talent. The issues are just so good. I’m honestly honored that I even get to be a contributor and be a part of it.

Tamika: Ahh! I think reading the final issue is always really special because I’m continuously awed and inspired by everyone’s artful expression of ideas! And for me personally, the process of scheming up my own projects/pieces always feels exciting and is a lot of fun because I know that I’m going to learn and grow through my piece!

From your view, how has Portrait changed from its inception? How has it stayed the same?

Alex: Portrait is a great learning environment. As a POC and an education major, I am a big proponent of culturally responsive teaching and liberatory practices in the educational context. Every student, regardless of race, deserves to learn about one’s history and positionality in the community one belongs to. Through the brainstorming and writer’s pitch sessions, Portrait encourages every contributor to reflect upon their experiences intertwined with their racial and cultural identities and to share them with one another, which I see as an empowering and liberatory learning experience.

Jane: I believe so much in the power of creative freedom, especially for AAPIidentifying people. There’s something moving and powerful about bringing abstract concepts to life through visual and written work. The way that contributors feel comfortable sharing darker or more vulnerable stories in the space makes me feel proud that Portrait can be a safe space and also be more careful that Portrait never takes that kind of comfort for granted. It’s hard enough in the physical world to open up. And despite the many different publications on campus, I have the (biased) view that Portrait stands out the most. We have an incredible range of emotions and genres and artwork and people that amalgamates into the specific and hard-to-define vibe of Portrait magazine.

Jane: I started off as a general body contributor and became Content Editor, so for me a lot has changed. Firstly, Portrait more than doubled in size - the first issue had 15 total contributors, but now has about forty contributors spread over four different roles. This sixth issue has about twenty written pieces. Further, the content just gets better and better with each issue, which surprised me because the first issue was SO good. There’s a lot more variety within the magazine, and now that we’ve expanded to digital platforms, that variety can continue to grow and evolve. Despite these changes, Portrait still feels the same to me. Even with moving our meeting location to Zoom for two semesters, I feel that the spirit of the OG Portrait vibe still resides with the org. We’re all here to create and share, and that common goal has stayed with contributors since the beginning.

Johnson: I think Portrait hasn’t changed too much. It’s obviously fully bloomed from an offshoot of ASA. The club itself has been figuring out how to structure things better. I think the content is better. Not that it was ever bad, but I do feel like we outdo ourselves every issue and I’m constantly blown away by how talented people are. It’s still the amazing Asian magazine club that it was at the beginning; I think it’s just improved in every aspect.

You were in Portrait for its first issue, went abroad, and then returned - how has being away influenced the way you view/contribute to Portrait?

How was it being Portrait’s first EIC? After going abroad and leaving that position, and then returning to be Publicity Manager, how has your perspective towards Portrait changed?

Grace: It’s interesting: while I did “return” to being a Vassar student after studying abroad, I haven’t completely “returned” in the sense that I’ve been studying remotely for the past year or so now. So, I think that in more ways than one Portrait has become a sort of safe space for me. My personal motto has always been that “the shortest distance between people is a story.” And, with all that’s happening and the changes upon changes that are taking place, Portrait has remained so consistent that I genuinely look forward to both the GB and EB meetings as a space where I feel even a smidgen closer to Vassar.

Alex: As much as it was an exciting place to be in, it was very challenging. I never considered myself a leader, let alone the founder of an organization. It was daunting in the beginning and the pressure grew even more after the huge success of the first issue. The biggest challenge was that I was unable to separate Portrait from my personal life because I cared so much about it. Everything from drafting the inventory for the launch events to checking in with every member to make sure we were not behind the schedule, I was overwhelmed with the amount of Portrait work because there was always more work to be done. I essentially burned out after my first semester of junior year, and I was planning to go abroad the next semester. It was a perfect time to distance myself from Portrait and leave it in other people’s hands. We were lucky enough to find responsible, talented, and diligent EIC and Content Editor <3

I came back from my study abroad semester and realized that everything (including myself) would be remote. That was when I decided to build a stronger online presence for Portrait. Right now, I am leading a media task force team as Portrait’s Publicity Manager.With the new challenges posed by COVID-19 as well as the increasing importance of digital media, I think Portrait needs to reconsider ways to better circulate our work digitally.

00:06

six minutes after midnig ht

The Portrait S21 collaborative playlist was collectively compiled in hopes

of embracing musical emotions, thoughts, and connections that arise from

this issue’s theme: PLAYGROUND.

Written and Compiled by Arlene Chen

Edited by Emma Chun

Designed by Phoebe Jacoby

Welcome to My Playground

NCT 127

Broccoli

Rocket Surgeons

This Little Light of Mine

Shaka Zula .

You Are My Sunshine

Kina Grannis

Edelweiss

The Sound of Music

Puff the Magic Dragon

Peter Paul & Mary

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

You’ve Got a Friend

Carole King

For Good

Wicked

10,000 Miles

Mary Chapin Carpenter

One Tin Soldier

The Original Caste

Daddy Daughter Dance

John Albert Thomas

Intro:

Welcome to My Playground

NCT 127 this city shines, wherever i go/it makes me into a child

From Tamika:

Broccoli

Rocket Surgeons bop for veggie-lovers, makes me think of childhood as a time to build a lasting relationship with loving vegetables!

This Little Light of Mine

Shaka Zula . warm fuzzy vibes of kid empowerment through love

You Are My Sunshine

Kina Grannis lucky that so many in my life showered me with the love that this song evokes!

Edelweiss

The Sound of Music from my childhood favorite movie

Puff the Magic Dragon

Peter Paul & Mary growing up is inevitable and it’s ok to mourn childhood but the world will keep turning

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Israel Kamakawiwo’ole peaceful and hope song, vibes for dreaming

You’ve Got a Friend

Carole King a childhood favorite, like life was moving but good things were enduring

For Good

Wicked the first Broadway musical I got really invested in. relates to a lot of my friendships from elementary school; they couldn’t last forever but I still know they shaped the person I am today

10,000 Miles

Mary Chapin Carpenter my iconic childhood movie, Fly Away Home— soooooo many feels! growing up, losing loved ones but knowing they are still with you, travel and journeys....

One Tin Soldier

The Original Caste my mom used to sing this song in the car on road trips

Daddy Daughter Dance

John Albert Thomas good daddy-daughter vibes, thinking of playing at the playground with my daddy

Castle on a Cloud Les Miserable OBC

Feather

Nujabes

Waves

Electric Guest

Gibberish

Alary-Kansion

Kidult

Seventeen

Night Changes One Direction

end of summer

slchld & Nathania

平凡的一天 毛不易

Shake It Off

Taylor Swift

Castle on a Cloud

Les Miserable OBC I used to act out this scene in my living room

From Gabor:

Feather

Nujabes a song super influential on my formative years. super lighthearted, reminds me of quieter days back before college. not always better days but I had that sort of childhood innocence where I was just along for the ride

From Maggie:

Waves

Electric Guest super upbeat and playful song that reminds me of play structures and nostalgia for childhood

From Jane:

Gibberish

Alary-Kansion this song is so chill and lovely. the lyrics mention nighttime and constellations, which remind me of looking up at the sky and searching for patterns in the stars as a child. the cover art also is reminiscent of a child’s artistic abilities, with lots of color and imaginative aspects. From Arlene:

Kidult

Seventeen the weird disconnect between childhood and adulthood, reminding me that it’s okay to feel unsure about the future

Night Changes

One Direction peak middle school nostalgia

end of summer

slchld & Nathania reminds me of childhood and my hopes for a new beginning

平凡的一天 毛不易 calm, peaceful song that talks about the nostalgia of a “perfect” day and how the best moments are often simple and unassuming

From Ziyi:

Shake It Off

Taylor Swift one should be one’s true self. the melody is so lively and the lyrics so simple that it makes me want to dance. i forget my worries when i listen, just as I throw all the bad things behind my head when I am in the playground

I have 1 __________ that 2 __________ and glow like

3 __________

My 1 __________ are 4 __________ 5 __________ notices my 1 __________ and it makes me feel 6 __________ 7 __________ has 8 __________. Our 8 __________

9 __________. When I spend time with 7 __________ we 10 __________ Our 8 __________ is 11 __________ We’re a miracle in those moments and I am full of 12 __________

ISSUE 06 | spring 2021 PLAYGROUND