VOICES
ENGLISH МАКЕДОНСКИ
January 2019
Magazine for all young people around the world
SEX! With or without love? Breaking the habit NGO Fair EVS in portugal
EDITORIAL Вафире Муахареми- УРЕДНИК НА „ВОИСЕС“ Vafire Muharemi - EDITOR OF “VOICES” MAGAZINE
WINTER LOVE
ЗИМСКА УБАВИЦА
Winter is bringing whiteness in our lives. Many people are trying to start new life books in this month. Famous as well as the month of holidays and children happiness January is bringing new light and hopes in people’s lives. Starting with new life challenges and promises people are trying to give better flow of their lives. Some people, in the start of the New Year are looking just as one formal end of a project cycle. It is up to the human being how will accept the New Year. For us, in VCS it means opening a new paper sheet and starting to plan all the attractive topics to bring to our readers. We start with a quite interesting topic for the youth around the globe. We are speaking about “Sex and love”. Then we continue to explore youth modern life through “The dark side of the smart phone revolution”. Let’s see how was “New Year” in different countries. The beginning of the New Year means new life opportunities and new life decisions and experiences such as “Losing virginity”. Life of our ancestors has left us big legacy that still are using “Fair, way to bring NGO people in one place”. Finally, let’s have a look on “Tom of Finland” and the “Surva festival”. Our celebrating people, VCS New Year gift is coming to you! Open and enjoy it!
Зимската убавица ја навлекла на себе својата бела руба и ги распосла нејзините убавини наоколу. Со себе оваа убавица носи посебна празнична магија која ги лови детските срца и подарува искрена насмевка на нивните очиња. Луѓето во почетокот на Новата Година гледаат нови можности за животни промени и давање втора можност. Дел од луѓето на почетокот на годината гледаат како точка во која еден проектен циклус завршува а нов почнува. Поврзувањето на почетоците на Новата година со практични работи и процеси, значи отварање на нова страница во животот која ќе биде продолжение на романот кој бил навезан во претходната година за младите низ целиот свет. Ние, почнуваме со дискусија на доста интересна тема за младите „Љубовта и Сексот“. Продолжуваме да го истражуваме животот на младите преку „Темната страна на револуцијата на „паметните“ телефони“. Да фрлиме поглед кон „Новата Година“ како таа се прославува и кои се значењта на прославувањата. Новите животни одлуки значат доживувања за прв пат како што е „Губењето на невиноста“. Нашите предци ни оставиле наследство кое ден денес го користиме како „НВО саем, алатка за подбро општество“. На крај да се навртиме на „Том на Финска“ и „Сурва фестивалот“. Слaвеници наши, повелете Новогодишниот подарок на ВЦС до вас! Уживајте во него!
STAFF VCS DIRECTOR: Nikola Stankoski COORDINATORS: Andrej Naumovski Vafire Muharemi
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VOLUNTEERS: Ana Fernández Hernández Madis-Siim Kull Selina Niemi Triine Viisma Mathis Gilsbach
WRITERS: Vafire Muharemi Andrej Naumovski Igor Pop Trajkov Laura Babaitytė Filip Cvetanov Vasko Joshevski Kristina Petkova Zaria Abazi
Translators: Goran Galabov
CONTACT: Volunteer Centre Skopje Emil Zola 3/3-1, 1000 Skopje Tel./Fax. +389 22 772 095 vcs_contact@yahoo.com www.vcs.org.mk https://voiceskopje.org
P.24
CONTENT
P.10
P.18 14 4
TOPIC OF THE MONTH
OPINION
14 Losing the Cherry - Triine
4 Sex! With or without love? - Ana
16 Breaking the habit - Mathis
29 Cекс! Со или без љубов? - Анa
18 Dark side of the smart phone revolution - Madis
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REPORTAGE
6 Bremen in my eyes - Zaria 8 НВО Саем - Вафире
10
20 INTERVIEW 20 Yunari Ota - Igor
22 CULTURE
ERASMUS +
22 Tom of Finland - Selina
10 EVS in Portugal - Filip
24 Surva Festival - Kristina
11 Annual epto event - Vasko 12 Realized what I am not to do - Laura
28 Sport 28 Through the Finals! - Andrej 29 Пласман во финалето! - Андреј
VOICES - 3
ТЕМА НА МЕСЕЦОТ
SEX! WITH OR WITHOUT LOVE? The Oxford dictionary defines love as “A strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone.” Sexologists, meanwhile, find a greater complication when it comes to defining it.
Sex
without affection can be a rewarding experience, but many say that the practice is enriched when there is love. In any case, the link between bed and feelings is still quite strong in our brains. And, in this context, the question must be asked from the other side: is love better when there is sex? Popularly it is considered that sex can be more pleasant if there is love involved. To test this theory, a group of scientists from the University of Bonn, Germany, seems to have found the answer. The hormone oxytocin (which is partly responsible for falling in love), increases the levels in our body when we have sex, enhancing the relationship, the attraction to another person and strengthening bonds. In general, the data showed that oxytocin activates the reward system, thus maintaining the bond between the lovers and promoting monogamy. This biological mechanism in a relationship is very similar to a drug but oxytocin is not the only hormone involved in affection and sexuality. “Orgasm produces the massive secretion of three neurotransmitters: oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine; that are: bond, euthymia (improvement of the state of mind) and joy”-explains sexologist JoserraLandarroitajauregi.
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It must be clarified that sex is not reduced only to penetration. This is a big mistake, since pleasure and orgasms, both in men and women, can be achieved in multiple ways and penetration is just one of them. Oral sex, masturbation, anal sex, petting, kissing and any practice where pleasure is obtained, is a way of having sex. For the “millennial” generation, sporadic sex without a stable partner is a popularized practice that leads us to ask ourselves if they carry out these practices because they show off all the sexual relations they maintain or because it is really fun and enjoyable. A study of the University Camilo José Cela concluded “young people prefer to have random sex avoiding the costs, both material and emotional,
topic of the month of having a stable romantic partner.” 87% of young people surveyed said they had sex with someone who was not their romantic and stable partner. From this same sample, 77% answered that they did it for “physical gratification” and the small remaining percentage answered that the reasons were because “almost everyone did it”, “by social pressure” or “emotional gratification”. Choosing to have sex without commitment can also be enhanced because the ways of creating new dating relationships are changing. Nowadays, a relationship between a person and a ‘night of sex’ can perfectly arise. The initial intention is only to have sex, but one thing can lead to the other, more congenial than you believed with that person and you end up liking not only in bed but also in other aspects. In addition, it is another way that, since consent, people without a partner enjoy their sexuality, since many times we assume that single people do not have sexual relations.
It is curious to see results from the surveys that in the XXI century affirm “men are more interested in having casual sex than women”. Could not this be due to the fact that women continue to carry a social stigma that dictates that what is expected of them is that they adopt the role of being wanted and not of the person that want? That is, a girl, being aware of the social penalty that exists, does not show an interest in sleeping with someone occasionally, even though she does. People are owners of their own sexuality andif you want to have relationships to experiment or simply to obtain sexual satisfaction, everyone is free to decide if they embark on a relationship of sex without commitment; the reasons why they do it and free of enjoy it.Social prejudices and stereotypes do a lot of damage and repress sexuality. Today we have much more freedom than our ancestors to choose our way of life. The society has evolved and is no longer badly seen to spend one night stand with someone. It is up to each of us to decide if we prefer to share our sex life with a romantic partner or with different people.All options are acceptable and it’s never too late to try the other side!
Ana Fernández Hernández
https://www.elmundo.es/papel/lifestyle/2017/09/21/59c397f0ca47410b068b4617.html Book: Pere Estupinyà S=EX² La Ciencia del Sexo (Debolsillo, 2014) https://elpais.com/elpais/2016/10/11/buenavida/1476184267_196925.html http://iunives.com/iunives/promociones/2018-quinta-promocion-master-oficial/interes-y-satisfaccion-sexual-en-las-relacioneseroticas-sin-pareja-romantica-y-estable/
VOICES - 5
REPORTAGE
BREMEN IN MY EYES I have been living in Bremen since October. For me it took a while to feel like home, but day by day it captured my heart and it became a place that now I can say: I am home.
Right beside Hamburg, Bremen is a city in the north
of Germany, with a population of 650,000 including Bremerhaven. What I can say about people is that I love their independent spirit here. It is also 10th biggest city in Germany and one of the 16 states in Germany. Bremen is not only a city, but its own state. It has a lovely old town (probably one of the best old towns in Germany), a beautiful city center, million parks and greenery, interesting museums and some hipster areas. The heart of Bremen is for sure Markplatz (Market square), home to a number of lovely buildings from period when Bremen owed its prosperity to being a Hanseatic League member. There you can find the Rathaus (Town Hall) a UNESCO World Heritage Site. It was built in the early 15th century and it is one of the most important examples of Bricola Gothic architecture in Germany. According to rumors it has a beautiful interior that you can book a tour to see, which unfortunately I have not done it yet. The Roland statue in front of Rathaus is standing there more than 600 years now. It is a symbol of market rights and freedom, and protected by UNESCO World Heritage Site as well.
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Probably the most famous landmark in Bremen, worldwide famous Bremer Stadmusikanten (The Bremen Town Musicians) is also another statue that you can find next to Rathaus. Someone might remember the fairy-tale of four musicians, a donkey, a cat and a rooster on its back. It says that, if you rub the hooves or the nose of donkey, it will bring some luck in the future. Also there is St. Peter’s Cathedral, dates back to year 805, completes the ensemble of historical building on Bremen’s market square. Its two towers, one of which is open to visitors that you can climb to get great views of the market square below. In the cathedral’s lead caller there are eight mummies stored in glass-topped coffins. Furthermore, in cathedral museum you can view statues, stone reliefs, the remnants of Renaissance altar and frescoes. At the other side of Markplatz, opposite of Rathus, lies a narrow street called Böttcherstrasße. Facing you as you enter, embedded above a redbricked archway, hangs a gold relief, named Der Lichtbringer. It depicts an angel slaying a dragon.
REPORTAGE A stroll down Böttcherstraße shows some interesting architectural contrasts. It is a small, yet beautiful district with many little shops, cafes, museums and a Glockenspiel. When you continue to stroll down you enter the Schnoor which is the oldest surviving district of Bremen: only a couple of blocks, but lined with houses from the 15th to 18thcenturies. While these were originally poor fishermen’s homes, nowadays it’s a pedestrian shopping district with lots of interesting little shops, galleries, cafés and handicraft shops for souvenirs. Exiting the Schnoor you meet the river Weser, which runs horizontally through the city and divides the Altstadt and das Viertel from more residential areas in the south. The Schlachte, a beautiful promenade in the city center is a great place to relax and enjoy a cafe/food in one of the many restaurants or just sit next to the Weser River. In winter it offers an incredible Christmas Market, which is also my favorite: SchlachteZauber, a Medieval version along the waterfront! Yes, that’s right: a Medieval themed Christmas Market, complete with pirate ships, shop employees dressed in period costumes, and kitschy booths with theme-appropriate wares like spells and potions ingredients. Oh, and some truly incredible food and drinks, of course. Lastly, I want to finish my writing with the Bremen’s youngest and most colorful district, Das Viertel is cool enough to have a name that translates simply to “The Quarter”. Popular for kitsch entertainment and the arts, theatres and museums, and it offer a diverse, offbeat nightlife. In Viertel there is a mixture of people, from ladies with dogs to students, and guy who lives on the streets and sweeps up the area. All sitting in a café, together.
Zaria Abazi VOICES - 7
REPORTAGE
НВО САЕМ „ЗАЕДНО ДО ПОДОБРО ОПШТЕСТВО!“ Заедно до подобро општество! Саем на невладини организации на град Скопје, организиран 4-ти пат по ред од страна на Волонтерски Центар Скопје со финансиска поддршка од град Скопје. На прв поглед изгледа како веќе воспоставена традиција на организација на НВО саемот која станала рутина со тек на времето. Дали навистина е така? Најнапред, треба да се има во предвид дека секоја организација има своја оргазницациона структура во која секој вработен има свој делокруг на делување. Дел од задачите кои ги добивате ви се задоволство да ги работите особено ако тие задачи се распределни во договор со вашиот претпоставен. Доколку вашата работна задача во исто време е и ваше задоволство, половина од рабоата е завршена. Има вистина во тој факт но сепак не треба да се занемарат и предизвиците со кои ќе се соочите додека ја исполнувате вашата работна задача, особено ако тоа е ваше прво искуство. Во ситуации кога за прв пат реализирате задача на која го посветувате целото ваше внимание многу е важна поддршката на вашите колеги особено на постарите колеги со долгогодишно искуство во организацијата. Се’ од погоре наведеното го изнесов со цел полесно да ве внесам во позадината на НВО саемот „Заедно до подобро општество!“ и целата логистичка организација на истиот. Подготовките на саемот започнуваат најнапред со навраќање на одобрената проектна апликација и забележување на сите детали на страна.
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Следен чекор е анализа на искуството на вашите претходни колеги преку пребарување на архивите и правење целосен пресек на сите преземени активности за организација на саемот претходните години. Додека правите пресек на веќе воспоставената пракса ги утврдувате пропустите и се обидувате да ги подобрите. Целта на секое човеково битие e да се подобруваат воспоставените практики, не дека претходните не биле доволно добри, напротив затоа што биле одлична основа која понатаму треба да се надоградува. Следен чекор е состанување со колегите од вашата организација со цел да се слушне нивното искуство и да се добие ориентација за целиот настан. Од досега кажаното едно е повеќе од очигледно, тимската работа и учењето од искуството на вашите предци е неопходно со цел да почнете со организација на саем. Продолжувате понатаму, покрај целата возбуда која ја чувствувате на почетокот сега чувствувате огромна одгворност и обврски кои „легнале та натежнале“ - Рацин, на вашиот грб. Ова е вистинскиот момент кога ќе треба да ги употребите сите ваши умеења и способности со цел да организирате еден солиден саем како саемот „Заедно до подобро општество!“. Откако го поминувате „теоретскиот“ дел, се впуштате во акција. Најнапред определувате место, дата и време кога ќе биде одржан саемот. Последователно изготвувате повик за организации заедно со апликација на која ќе може да го пријават своето учество.
REPORTAGE
Креирањето на апликационата форма може да одземе повеќе време, особено ако си дозволите неколку пати да ја продискутирате со вашите колеги за да не направите пропуст. Организација на саем без волонтери е невозможно! Трудот, времето и посветеноста на волонтерите кои ќе ги вклучите во организацијата на саемот во суштина ќе станат движечката сила на саемот на денот на неговото одвивање. Беспрекорното функционирање на волонтерите е детерминирано од координативниот тим на саемот. Доколку навремено одржите координативен состанок со волонтерите на кој ќе определите тимови со определени задачи, координатор на секој тим во договор со волонтерите на состанокот како и членови на секој тим, на денот на саемот со голема сигурност се’ ќе биде во најдобар ред. Навремената и прецизна комуникација со организациите гости на саемот е еден од клучните моменти за исполнително организирање на саемот. Обостраната комуникација го олеснува целиот технички процес на поставување на штандовите на организациите на големиот ден на саемот. Кога сите овие елементи се навремено средени и солидно завршени и имaте листа на потреби на секоја организација преминувате во организирање на просторот каде што ќе биде организиран саемот.
И ништо не е готово додека ден пред саемот не отидете на местото каде што ќе биде оддржан саемот и не ги поставите штандовите, каблите и целата техничка опрема. Најважно е додека секој ден работите на подготовкта на саемот да не заборавите да одвоите 30-60 минути за промоција на саемот на пошироката публика. Организациите учеснички на саемот особено може да ви помогнат во промоцијата преку споделување на веста за саемот со нивните мрежи. Убавината на саемот завршува со наградување на најдобрите штандови, не заборавивме да изготвиме сертификати за најдобрите штандови. Со завршувањето на „големиот ден“, не завршува и саемот. Следниот ден задолжително забалагодарете се на учеството на организациите на саемот, како и продолжете со споделување на резултатите од саемот со пошироката јавност. Организирање на саем е убавао и ве исполнува, како што забележавте нема место за паника и стрес доколку го следите целиот процес на организација активно и секако тоа го правите со голема љубов! Сакате да видите како изгледаше саемот на „сцена“ ? Повелете на следниот линк: https://vcs.org.mk/mk/together-to-a-better-society/ Видео? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XZBxJ2jXLI
Вафире Мухареми
Координатор на НВО саемот „Заедно до подобро општество!“
VOICES - 9
ЕРАЗМУС+
ЕVS in Portugal
I come form Kocani, Macedonia and I’m 21 years old. I am part of an EVS project called “Agueda Volunteering Land”,witch is taking place in Agueda, Portugal. Before I start speaking specifically about my project I want to share few things for my EVS experience in general.
I’m on EVS together with seven other volunteers from 6
different countries: Austria, Spain, Italy, Greece, Germany and two guys from the UK. Before going I hoped I will share this life-changing experience with good friends that I will meet there. My wish became more that true, I can gladly say we are 8 volunteers who function very well. Sometimes we can say that we are like a family. When we work it’s amazing because everyone is participating in the group tasks in their own way, we are also nonjudgmental and respective to each other. Sometimes when we have a free weekend we travel together in other cities in Portugal. What else can a young man on EVS ask for? Our work is challenging and we are developing all the key competences from the 8 key competences and more. Since we are eight volunteers we are split in two different projects, four of us in “Agueda Volunteering Land” and four in “Volunteers 2.0 “. My project is about working and developing activities with children, we plan an activity with specific topic that is about promoting diversity, interculturality, European social values, etc. and develop it in the school with the children. Our projects are separated, but we also do a lot of things together, for example “Volunteers 2.0” are working with youngsters, but we go with them sometimes in the schools to develop some activities that are not directly related to our projects we also do together. One of my favorite thing is when we go in the schools and we do kind of a “world cafe” activity and the students can ask as anything they want related to our EVS experience. That’s the moment when I feel like we are really changing something, because students ask questions like how they can go on a journey like that and do they need a lot of money or how to convince their parents. We are there to give the right answer in the right
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time and inspire a change in someone’s life. Also when we are doing activities with children is so much fun, because we give our best to plan the best and most fun activities with them and when we see that it’s working, when they are having a lot of fun time and in the same time learning a lot of things, then is when our work makes sense, when it’s fulfilling and encouraging to continue. We also went to an elderly home to develop activity with old people. It was like a morning to have fun and show them food from our countries. They were surprised and happy to have a different day than usual and they gave us hugs and kisses. Despite all the activities we do together and separated in projects, we also had to write and implement a personal project, the personal project could’ve been anything we want for how much time we want and it was up to us also to choose the public. My personal project was promoting help to association which takes care of stray dogs. They have a shelter with 150 dogs and mostly the work there is done by the volunteers, they need help and we went one day and cleaned the shelter. The dogs and the stakeholders were both satisfied and happy, we were lucky to have a chance to participate in something like that. The work we do it’s satisfying because we are working and helping in some way to more parts of the society. Our host organization is taking care of the needs of every volunteer very responsible and respectful way and we are happy to be part of the organization like that. They are including us in beautiful tasks and also making sure we have a balanced life between work and relaxation. I can write many more activities, memories and things that happened during these three months, but I think this is showing enough of the nature of my EVS in Portugal. I challenging decision I made, but definitely sure saying that it’s worth it. Filip Cvetanov
ERASMUS+
Annual epto event On 22-23 September, Volunteers Center Skopje, represented by Andrej Naumovski and Vasko Joshevski, was participating in the Annual EPTO Event for Members 2018. It was a regular meeting of members of the EPTO network held in Modica, Sicily, and hosted by the nongovernmental organization Attiva-Mente.
D
uring the event, representatives of organizations from Belgium, Romania, Portugal, Hungary, Italy and Macedonia had a unique chance to share and learn more about peer-to-peer learning approaches, to discuss the sustainability of the EPTO network and to develop longterm partnerships for future joint projects. In particular, the focus was put on: • Mapping good practice in peer-to-peer approaches used by EPTO members in thefields of education for diversity, intercultural and inter-religious dialogue and tolerance,and expanding the outreach to other members; • Setting-up new partnerships within the network for developing/expanding projectsin these fields, with a focus on acting locally for the benefit of marginalized groups; • Deciding on the future role of EPTO as a support platform for youth organizations; • Electing our new board.
The workshops and sessions of the event were delivered using very creative and professional approaches by the experienced EPTO trainers, which certainly contributed to enhancing the skills and competencies of the participants for working with youth in their local communities, as well as for working in international projects. The Annual EPTO Event for Members 2018 was a most valuable experience for Volunteers Center Skopje, as it resulted in reinforcing our collaboration with organizations within the EPTO network.It also expanded our partnership network with new European partner organizations interested in long-term cooperation, and upgrading our capacity for including peer-to-peer learning methods. Not only in our local and international projects, but also in our organization’s functioning and the relations between our staff.
Vasko Joshevski
VOICES - 11
ЕРАЗМУС+
Realized what I am not to do So, it is 2019. New Year, new projects, and I am sure there will be plenty of those, but for now, I want to go back a little, to the end of November 2018. Then we had a seminar “Volunteering: Step Forward to Entrepreneurship and Employability”. If you heard something, anything about it, that means we did a pretty good job, and if you haven’t, let me tell you about it. This was the second part of a project that was about EVS volunteers, entrepreneurship and employability. All combined it was supposed to increase the capacities of organizations that host international volunteers by developing the skills of coordinators, youth workers and tutors of those organizations. For me it was not just another Erasmus+ project. It was a different perspective for me. See, I was a trainer on
this training, so I can say again, that it was my first project. I know how everything goes when you are a participant: people, cultures, discussions, late evening. Nothing of that was missing, I just had more responsibilities. I’ve been related and connected to the NGO field for a while, as well as preparing and leading workshops, but this was a new role for me. This project started in Poland with more than 20 people from 12 countries (Poland, Macedonia, Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Hungary, Italy, Spain, Hungary, Romania, Turkey and Germany) and continued to Struga, Macedonia. . We welcomed some new participants to the project in the second activity, but most of the people were the same, which made us really happy, because we already knew the group.
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Me and my co-trainer were trying to adapt and make it better than the first part in Poland, so we were making adjustments and I think in the end we had pretty good seminar. We wanted to make it as interactive and lively as possible. We were inviting people with expertise and long experience in the field to share their stories and advices, “Living Library” was an excellent tool for that. I remember, as a participant, that I never really paid too much attention to those fears and expectations activities, but now I see it differently. I was important for me to know what the participants are expecting, what can be done for the fears not to come true, for them to realize their expectations and to contribute to the project, feel bigger part of it. That helped me understand them better, as individuals and as a group. I am new in this youth work and training thing, so I am so excited and eager to learn more, to share what I know with other people and spread the word as far as it can get.
ERASMUS+
Both me and my colleague on the training were sharing our experiences in EVS, mentoring, entrepreneurship, using all sorts of methods, like study cases, TrainVol online course, Magic castle, Silent discussion among the others, we talked about European Solidarity Corps and Youth banks and its possibilities. The research itself gave me pleasure, looking for new tools, games for the project, let alone the work and discussions with participants, which was priceless. I’ve learnt a lot from them, from their experience, methods of work, new programs, possibilities, everyone has their own skill set that can be used to help out on the project. What was also really new was the feedback for us. And we wanted that, we asked for it and gave the ways for participants to express themselves. We used thermometers for each day to evaluate the mood and energy of people, on the last day we asked participants to compare the training course in Poland and seminar in Macedonia using two aligning columns (a lot of space for them to put everything they want), we also had two separate ships: positive one and negative one. The ships were sailing on the last evening and participants wrote what they thought about the project as well as on online Evaluation. So we got a looooooot of feedback, which is great, because that is how we can grow and be more prepared for the next project that comes along.
The project doesn’t end for the trainers after those 7 days of work and fun. Later on we actually had to go through feedback we got, work on dissemination and reports, which usually is not so pleasant, but it is important. Those people that come to the training usually think that it is a common thing, because they went to plenty or at least some, it is all around, so everybody know about it, they must. But it is not like that. Even on this training there were 2 girls that never before had and experience on Erasmus+ project and there are so many more that have no clue about Erasmus+. So I saw this new side of the youth project and I am really enthusiastic about it, let’s see what 2019 will bring us!
Laura Babaityte
VOICES - 13
МИСЛЕЊЕ
Losing the Cherry Losing one’s cherry is a synonym for losing one’s virginity. It can be a nerve-racking situation to a lot of young people. There might be differences between girls and boys: how they see the situation, how they feel themselves etc. Depending on the country, there can be a big pressure from society either to lose one’s virginity in an early age or to keep it as something very precious. In this article there are stories from young people from different countries and they are anonymously sharing their stories.
What are the main suggestions one can find from the internet? Number one is definitely not to worry so much but when the time comes, we cannot help but worry. Are we doing something wrong? Is it okay to feel like that? How is this even working? There are millions of different thoughts in our mind. Some people even prefer to be drunk to calm the nerves. What is the most important thing to remember is that however you decide to lose your virginity, it is okay. It is your decision to decide when, with who, where and how to have your first intercourse. It might be easier to that with somebody you can trust and be vulnerable with. Also, to keep in mind, having sex for the first time can change the relationship between two people but it does not have to mean that after having sex people are automatically in a relationship. There are people who prefer to have one-sight-stands, meaning to have a partner only for one night. Biologically speaking losing the virginity for girls does not mean breaking something down there. Girl’s hymen is not going to be torn apart; actually, it is just going to be stretched. That might cause some pain and bleeding but does not have to. Even though, the first time might be clean and painless, does not mean it will be pleasurable. Most of the time, the first time feels just weird and is not as special as some girls think it would be. It might even take more than three times before
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it starts feeling good and after that better and better. If the first time is painful and it continues to be painful, it is time to talk with the doctor, because there might be something wrong.It is very important to keep in mind that even if it is one’s first time, there is still a possibility to get pregnant and/or STD’s. Which means, it is very important to use protection. In this case, the easiest is condom, because it’s the only protection that protects from pregnancy and different diseases. The truth is, one can never be fully ready, no matter how many times one has done all the researches they can. But it is important to remember, that it does not matter how old you are or how much you know about it. The first time is nervous for everybody and it is nothing to worry about.
OPINION Some stories from youngsters: ‘’My first time was with a guy I had been dating for a few months before and the truth is that I think it was the perfect moment. I did not feel pressure from his side, on the contrary, he knew how to wait and he had enough patience since he was not a virgin anymore. I do not remember the idea I had before doing it but I do remember that I did not expect it to hurt so much and the boy was careful. I liked it because I did it with who I wanted and without any pressure but even more without any pleasure, since it hurt me a lot. One piece of advice that I would give to my past self, is that I could think less about what I am doing and more about enjoying it.’’ - Girl, lost her virginity 18 years old. ‘’I was afraid if I was going to hurt myself and if I was going to hurt the girl I was with. The first time I had no pressure because I was drunk. It was not very satisfying; I did not even come, because I was too drunk. After I went back to meet the girl again and everything was much better.’’ - Boy, lost his virginity 21 years old. ‘’The first time with a girl who knew me for three days. It was in the summer of my first year at University. It was in Amsterdam with an association of the university that organized trips to different cities in Europe. We kissed the second day of the trip and in the fifth day we had sex. The situation was good because we came back before the others to the campsite where we were sleeping and we had there an empty tent for us. Well, I expected it to be better. So much time hearing about it but it was a bit disappointing for me. I did not have any pressure from others to lost virginity. But maybe I put it on myself because my two best friends were no virgins. I did not dislike it but it was not what I expected either, since the expectations were very high from my side. Also, I have to admit, now having more experience in the subject, that the act itself was not brilliant. I was more than nervous and the girl also, it was the first time for both of us,
so it was difficult for the thing to end well. My advice to myself would have been to be more relaxed, to let me carry a lot more. Nerves are only spoiling the moment.’’ Boy, lost his virginity at 18 years old. ‘’Before all of it, my friends, who already had lost their virginities and classmates were always talking about it and asking who had lost it and who had not. Me, as being one of the guys, who had not lost it yet, it put me under a bit of pressure that others have already done it and I was not. Then it somehow made me fantasize that it is something very special and extraordinary. When the moment actually came, I felt butterflies that it is actually happening and how it all is supposed to feel, I started breathing quickly, heart started beating faster. I also had thoughts whether I am doing it correctly, I also had somewhere back in my head the thought that man should already know everything, how it works and do it without any errors. When it actually happened, there was nothing special… the only problem I had, was that I was super excited and it did not last longer than 5 minutes. After the intercourse, I started thinking how it was and if everything is so fantasy-like but realized that it was not. The only thing I can say is that while having sex, there is some special bond happening between two people and it is not something one can explain. It has to be felt by you. Later, I started learning more about how to get this feeling on a higher level, like it is talked in Pibel or by Buddha and other higher teachers. And, of course, I started to learn how to last longer than five minutes, haha. And after all that, I did not go to bed with any girl who I had the chance with but started to actually choose who I have the chemistry with and shared my knowledge with the special ones.’’ - Boy (do not know the age yet) ‘’My first sexual relationship was with my boyfriend of that time. I liked the boy a lot and we had been together for a few months. Probably if I had planned the moment I would have been very nervous but it happened by chance. We were watching a movie in his house, we started kissing and the boy asked me if I wanted to have sex. At that moment I felt like it and I said yes. On the internet, I had read that the moment of the first penetration can hurt and sometimes it bleeds but I was very lucky and it did not hurt or bleed. It was not a rewarding experience because I did not know my body and I did not know what I liked because I had not experienced it before. I think that knowing yourself through masturbation before sex can help you a lot to get more prepared at the moment. If I could change something of the moment I would encourage myself to talk more with my partner, to explain the things that I was liking and things that I did not and to ask him if he was doing well.’’ - Girl, 15 years
Triine Viisma VOICES - 15
МИСЛЕЊЕ
BREAKING THE HABIT Breaking the Habit is not only a great song but also a goal that many of us set ourselves at the beginning of a new year. In this article I want to walk you throught he science of turning your new-year resolutions
After the excesses of Christmas and New Year
parties many people realise that their life and body is taking a rather unpleasant shape and they make whole-hearted resolutions to quit smoking, cut drinking or do more sports. Usually, these resolutions last a few days, two weeks if you are lucky, before fading into oblivion. The only thing remaining is this little devilish voice in your head that says: „Just try again next year, but now indulge in this delicious piece of chocolate cake and feel guilty about it“. But why does this happen? Why are we so weak and not able to keep the most simple promises that we give ourselves? And more importantly how to get around this predisposition.
The answer lies in the science of habits and motivation. One root of the problem lies within the difference between planning for tomorrow and acting in the moment. Planning for the future we can easily imagine a better version of ourselves which gets up at the first ring of the alarm, jumps into sports clothing and onto the track for a quick run. But when the moment arrives, we hit the snooze button five times before rolling out of bed, snuggling into our “jogging pants” and shuffling into the kitchen for our morning coffee. In short, we see the value of future action but when it comes to acting on it, short term gratification weighs much heavier.
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Often we condemn ourselves for not having enough willpower in the moment to defeat our own urges. But maybe it is better to accept our nature and work with it. Ideally we want to develop a habit of, in our example, getting out of bed quickly and going for a run. But, wait, what is a habit? Apart from being the habitual dress of ordained nuns and monks a habit can be defined as follows: Psychology defines habits as automated behaviours. Something that we do automatically whenever we are in a certain setting. Such as brushing our teeth after a meal or as grabbing our phone after waking up. Habits consist of three parts: a cue, a routine and a reward.
“Breaking the Habit”
To give a personal example: Usually when I wake up I grab my phone to look at the time or to shut up the alarm. Grabbing my phone is the cue. What follows is a routine of checking all new messages and scrolling mindlessly (or automatically) through Facebook or Instagram. And my reward are new messages, new information, likes, etc. The good thing is, we can consciously decide to break old and form new habits but we need to know how. The two main factors are to keep it simple and to be patient. If we want to achieve a big and complex goal it is tempting to go all or nothing right away but that will be in our way later on. Let’s say we want to learn a language and decide to study two hours every day. We will manage for a few days but then something will get in the way and it becomes difficult to keep the pace until a new habit is formed.
OPINION But if we decide to study 15 minutes of vocabulary before going to bed. Or if we always use a language learning app when we are in the bus. Then the task becomes much more manageable. As for breaking old habits it is tempting to try “just not to do it”. However that approach more often than not is doomed to fail. Instead a good approach is to analyse our old habits, break them down into cue, routine and reward and try to replace parts of the habit. To take my phone habit as an example. For a while I did not use it as an alarm so I put it on the other end of the room for charging and put a simple watch next to my bed. In the morning I grabbed the watch as usual but I couldn’t follow my routine of riding the morning wave of social media. I got up much quicker, and didn’t even check my phone until much later in the day. One could also switch the routine. If we assume a habit of eating chocolate everytime we are stressed we could try to “just not do it” or we could replace the chocolate with fruit or other healthy but still tasty stuff. In short, keep it small for the beginning and start by analysing your existing habits and see how you can adapt them. Great, now we know what a habit is, but we still haven’t really solved the problem of long-term vs. short-term. How do we get started with developing a habit. How do we get out of bed the first few times until we get used to it and it becomes a habit. And how long does it take? According to recent studies it takes about 10 weeks or 66 days to form a new habit. This number can vary however based on the person, age, and the task to be achieved.
With that knowledge I now approach my personal goals by getting external some external motivation. When I wanted to learn Portuguese I teamed up with a Brazilian friend of mine. We had regular skype sessions which really motivated me to sit down and prepare, learn vocabulary or read in Portuguese in advance. This way I achieved much more than I would have, studying completely on my own. However you may have different motivations. So my advice would be to start observing yourself and look for what motivates you. In what circumstances are you reaching your goals, what drives you to do things. What inspires you. Learning about ourselves is the first step to change. To sum up, before trying to change we need to understand ourselves better. Analyse our habits and our motivations. Then, when the alarm sounds we actually jump out of bed and go for that morning run and make our jogging pants live up to their name. Or, while learning about ourselves, we realized that it does not have to be a marathon and a short walk in the morning sun is just as gratifying. Which brings me to my last remark. While it can be good to change and improve ourselves, it can also be very relaxing to realize that nobody is perfect and that is perfectly fine. It is rewarding to strive for and achieve personal goals but if self-improvement becomes an obsession it won’t make us happy. So, go for that walk if you fancy but don’t feel bad if you enjoy a coffee and some cookies in bed on a Sunday morning.
To stay on track long enough we need motivation. Motivation can come from different sources and vary greatly between individuals. Some people are able to motivate themselves just by setting a goal and knowing how they will benefit from reaching it. Others, like myself, need accountability from outside to get things done.
Mathis Gilsbach VOICES - 17
МИСЛЕЊЕ
The dark side of the smartphone revolution The rise of social media and smartphones has transformed the way we communicate and connect with each other. But not only to the better. This article explores the issues of smartphone addiction and security risks.
I am an IT specialist by training. Nonetheless I remember
fondly the days when we did not have smartphones in our pockets. Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with the device itself, as a concept. I am not against technology. It is the very thing that puts bread on my table. It empowers people, it helps to create masterpieces of art and design. It helps disabled people to take part in the life in the most productive ways. The problem lies with how we are using and abusing it. I am talking about security risks and social media addiction. Sad truth of the matter is that our youngsters are losing important verbal communications skills. They are losing the skill to read each others body language and facial mimics. They are losing their empathy. They are losing the ability to daydream. Ability to daydream is important for brain development and learn how to be creative and solve future problems by thinking outside the box. Remember when you read an engaging book. How all the characters become alive before your mind's eye. That is how one enjoys a good book. It takes weaved imagination. In order to learn to daydream you need boredom. To be fully present with whatever you are doing. Usually I daydream doing manual simple work riding on a bus or train, doing cardio at the gym. Using social media on a smartphone creates micro-interruptions and in the long term it destroys your ability to focus your attention and be proactive. It also makes me uneasy to see how people use their smartphone to post every little detail of their life online. Like a good little spy. Only reason to do so is cleverly engineered social-media dopamine based addiction. To this day I don't understand why people are living in such an exhibitionist way. Yes I use social media but that’s because I am a photographer among other things. It is my passion and for some time it was my job.
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Social-media is a social engineering database that is used to develop AI technology. Sell your personal information to marketing companies. If you do not pay for a service and it is not from the open-source community, then you and your data are the commodity that is being sold to customers. The only ones of us users that benefits from it are people that want to sell their professional skill sets. Such as artists, technology professionals, business men and small start ups. Social-media is the only place were they can source social capital for their businesses.
But why is social media so addictive? It all comes down to dopamine. Dopamine is a hormone that is produced in the human brain, it triggers positive feelings in response to positive experiences. If you win an award or achieve a goal that you have worked for, finished workout at the gym. It is what makes us happy about such achievements. Dopamine is also being emitted as a response to new likes, new comments, more followers. Big social media companies like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter have designed their services to be addictive in order to get your data to sell it to marketing companies. Social media is a big business and they are in it only for the money.
The most common signs of smartphone addiction: 1. You feel anxious without your smart phone. 2. You struggle to focus on people during face to face conversations. 3. Your smartphone usage is antisocial. You prefer your phone to your family or friends. 4. Your phone is getting in the way of your life. Your time keeping suffers because you are spending excessive time on your phone, you are becoming unreliable. 5. You feel the constant need to document everything. You do not enjoy your life and you are an observer but not a participant in your own life anymore. 6. You are in aggressive denial and believed firmly that I am wrong when you are reading this article on your phone walking or driving in traffic. Or sitting at the dinner table surrounded with people you care about. Look up and discuss all of this, with them.
OPINION It is a well known fact that CEO’s of big technology companies like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg restricted their childrens use of social media or smartphones. So how to protect your children and yourself and use the modern technology in a healthy way. That is the big question. Let me tell you how I plan to raise my future children. For preschool and kindergarten children I won’t give them more than 30 minutes of screen time per day. No social-media, none at all. The child needs to earn this screen time as a privilege for every daily tasks like we used to earn our pocket money. Remember these days? For school children. Old-school cell phones – the ones with buttons, that only send and receive calls and SMS. No social-media, none at all. Only one account on the family computer for homework which must be used under strict parental guidance. IT is just for school homework. The only personal digital device that child may have relatively unrestricted access, is E-book reader with good e-ink display. That is only if the child has healthy reading habits. There won’t be any personal digital devices at the dinner table. From dinner time to children's bedtime there will be no screen time for children. That is family time. The blue light will interrupt healthy sleeping patterns in children's brains Even traditional TV is out of question. You might think that all of this is too strict. It will hinder child's future in technology skills. No!! I began using computer and IT technology seriously for the first time when I was 18 years old and now as a 30 year old man I am a technology professional, IT specialist. The only technology that is beneficial to young children are as those that were developed specifically for learning such as the Raspberry Pi, Arduino, Lego mindstorms and other development kits and robotics kits. Every school IT lab should have this kinda stuff to teach children from age eleven. Programming and electronics. Under the supervision of skilled grown ups. In short: No social-media for children younger than eleven.
But how do I protect myself as a smartphone user? I use a small capacity Iphone 4s 8GB base model. If I were an Android user I would use a small capacity SD card around 8-16GB. Why do I do this? Simple, it would prevent me from hoarding apps that I don’t need. All apps have access to your phone sensors (GPS, camera, microphone, accelerometer) which is no problem unless a nasty developer tries to use it to harvest information about their users. I still remember the scandal when it came out a that the ten most popular flashlight apps for Android were spyware. So choose your apps very carefully and read the information it gives you on installation. A small flash memory on your phone helps you to only have the most important stuff on it. What about social-media? I use only Instagram, YouTube and Facebook. Because I am a content creator as a photographer. Regardless of that I don't need social-media on the go. If you are not a content creator, technology professional, blogger or a startup founder do not use social-media on your smartphone. I have all the notifications turned off except voice call, email and SMS. I want to own my own time. In real life I use Cat B30 as a regular phone and my Iphone 4s as GPS and travel guide. I even set my phone screen to gray scale as an experiment. I also do not keep my smart phone turned on in my bedroom. Because it is not part of my morning routine I take time for myself to get ready for a new day. In my eyes, IT technology is luxury, it is important but one needs to know all the important social life skills. Maybe my article about smartphone addiction is in the wrong magazine. Because the thing that I absolutely love about Macedonian society is how kind you are and how family oriented you are. I hope you will never lose that. Because kindness is the most important part of humanity.
Madis - Siim Kull VOICES - 19
интервју
Education Should Nurture Cross-cultural Awareness in This Age of Globalism Interview with Prof. Yukari Ota by Igor Pop Trajkov Prof. Yukari Ota is born in Hokkaido, had her high education in Hokkaido and Framingham State University. She taught foreign students Japanese in Japan, England, Poland and Bulgaria- for 13 years. She has a husband and four children. Her hobbies are flute, movies, painting, learning foreign languages, traveling, bird-watching, swimming and skiing. She is currently teaching Japanese at the Cyril and Methodius University of Skopje. - According to you what is the best side of the Japanese educational system? I think the discipline given in the school. For example, at the end of the day students tidy up and clean their classrooms throwing away trash, wiping the desks and so on. There are small fields where pupils grow vegetables which are later used for school lunch. Fresh and seasonal vegetables grown by themselves, this is special for them. This experience raises their awareness of nature. They also keep small pets such as rabbits, hamsters, tadpoles, etc. They feed them, clean their houses, and change water in the aquarium. By taking care of small creatures they learn how precious life is.
Prof. Yukari Ota - courtesy of herself
- Do you have any particular thoughts on how the high schools in Macedonia should shape future generations? To nurture cross-cultural awareness as they live in the age of globalism. I presume Macedonian high school students are much more exposed to foreign cultures than their Japanese counterparts. However, their knowledges about the world tend to marginalize Asia. I hope they will learn more about Asian countries and its history as Japanese students study about Europe and its history a lot. Kyudo club at a highschool in Japan - courtesy Mathis Gilsbach
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interview - In my time (in the nineties) almost every high-school in this country had its magazine and radio. That is the case with the rest of the world too. Why has that changed? Because of the computer. It looks like the computer has completely taken over the roles which magazines and radio used to play even the camera’s role as well. I myself felt nostalgia for the time when we were listening to the radio and were reading magazines. Those from my generation are still big fans of radio and magazines.
- What is the role of the Internet in education? Do you think it has more advantages or disadvantages? I think the role of Internet is to give more opportunities of self-study to people that are unable to get education otherwise. It is difficult for me to weigh its advantages and disadvantages. As a language teacher I have to be good at IT skills. However, communication is originally a direct exchange, so I value classroom activity much more than the Internet.
Music club at a highschool in Japan courtesy Mathis Gilsbach
- There is a growth of violence in the highschools in the Western World. Unfortunately that is the case in our country too. Why is this happening? It is growing not only in the Western World but also in Japan, too. I am not sure but the change of a diet in our daily life might be one of the reasons. And high school students are under strong pressure such as examinations, fear for future, uncertainty of job, worry about finding no job, family issues, etc. Those factors undoubtedly have been there before, are now, and will be in the future. We need to understand them more profoundly.
- When we are in high-school we are transferring from the world of fairy-tales into the world of adults. Tell us please your favourite fairy-tale. My fairy-tale was ‘Anne of Green Gables’ written by Canadian writer Lucy Maud Montgomery. Anne was my idol, who influenced me as an adolescent girl. It is interesting that the title of the Japanese version is Akage not Anne, (赤毛のアン //Anne with red hair). In the book I found similarities of landscapes, flora, and fauna between the setting of the story and my hometown because Hokkaido’s climate is subarctic like Canada’s. We have heavy snow and bitter cold days. The surface of rivers gets covered with thick ice. And Hokkaido’s summer is relatively cool in general. So for me Macedonian summer is terribly hot. Thank you very much for giving me the great opportunity to express my opinion.
VOICES - 21
КУЛТУРА
Touko Laaksonen, one the most known picture artist from Finland, was born in Kaarina 8.5.1920. He has been called the “most influential creator of gay pornographic images” by cultural historian Joseph W. Slade and his work had significant impact on the late 20th century gay culture. Touko was born in a small town in southwestern Finland, where he grew up with four siblings together with his father and mother. The country was still rough and times were wild, since Finland had been independent only for 3 years from his birth. Touko grew up among men who worked in the woods and fields, the farmers and loggers, but in his childhood he was not part of this world. His parents raise him in close relations with art, literature and music, which was a good atmosphere for young and talented boy. But there had been said that he loved those outdoors men even more, and maybe there was his early inspiration for his later artworks. He graduated from high school and 1939, at the age of 19, he moved from Kaarina to Helsinki to study advertising. He started to draw in his free time, images of the male workers, police men, sailors and construction workers, but these artworks he kept highly secret with himself. Later on he even destroyed them, before joining army on 1940. Three months after the outbreak of World War II, a conflict between with Finland and Soviet Union started the Winter War on 1939. Touko was conscripted to Finnish army with over 300.000 Finnish solders. Later in his life, he confessed that the interest to the uniforms was born in the army, especially because of the German soldiers.
“In my drawings I have no political statements to make, no ideology. I am thinking only about the picture itself. The whole Nazi philosophy, the racism and all that, is hateful to me, but of course I drew them anyway—they had the sexiest uniforms!” 22 - VOICES
culture After the war in 1945, Touko went back to his studies and continued life in Helsinki. He was a freelancer artist who did advertising, window displays and fashion design, but the evenings he spent at the parties and cafes playing piano, avoiding the “fledgling gay scene”. Although, in the movie, “Tom of Finland” made out of Touko Laaksonen and his life, they represent how he found the attractiveness to men during these times, and how he started to experiment this need. He met he met the man, Veli in 1953, and with him he spent the next 28 years with. Touko’s early artwork was softer and more careful than the art that he is known of. More romantic pictures without overdraw muscles and sexy uniforms. At the end of 1956, he created the secret name to himself, also easier for English language, “Tom”. He sent his artworks to popular American muscle magazine, and the editor loved them. Already at the 1957, cover of the spring issue of “Physique Pictorial”, was a half naked lumberjack, with a muscular body, and there was born the “Tom of Finland”. And for the rest of Touko’s history, he was known by that name. He continued his art, travelling and gaining his name to become one of the most known homoerotic artists in Finland. In the 1973, he gave up his fulltime job in Helsinki, “Since then I’ve lived in jeans and lived on my drawings,” is how he described the lifestyle transition which occurred during this period. Inspiration for Tom of Finland artworks was powerful, masculine males that were not the stereotypical appearance of the gay men at these times. He consciously chose masculine types to his artworks, also including rebelling features, like men in the motorcycle wearing leather clothes. In late 1950’s and early 1960’s, Touko created lot of explicit work that was not being published, since the conservative and homophobic social culture of the era, gay pornography was illegal. After the discrimination of that, the gay pornography became more popular and mainstream, and Touko continued his work. In 1970’s he started to draw erotic comic books and he had his first art show in porn store in Hamburg. One of the most known character of his artwork is Kake, that he used in the comic series “Kake”. In that time he also started to create more photorealistic artworks, based on real photos and most of them he took himself. Allthough he kept the style of underline the masculine features of his characters. In 1979 he stated a Tom of Finland Company with his close friend and colleague Durk Dehner and in 1984 the foundation of Tom of Finland started to collect and present the homoerotic art. https://www.tomoffinlandfoundation.org/foundation/touko https://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_of_Finland https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_of_Finland
In 1991 Touko Laaksonen passed away due to an emphysema-induced stroke. His cultural impact and legacy was still there to stay. His artworks were a huge impact to a gay culture, and after his dead there were many exhibitions of his work in many states of USA, in Finland, France, Sweden and England. There were movies and plays, latest the Helsinki film produced a movie of his life in 2017. Finland published postmarks from his art that were sent even to foreign correspondent to Russia, which were against the gay propaganda law of Russia, according to St. Petersburg City Councilor Vitali Milonov. In Finland, in the past few years the name of the Tom of Finland has gain even more knowledge, and there is several manufacture of products with his art, e.g. postcards, sheets, bags, coffee. People, especially LGTB group, are still carrying his legacy and heritage.
Selina Niemi
VOICES - 23
КУЛТУРА
Surva:
Carnival in Pernik Carnival has a long history in Bulgaria. Explore this old tradition in this report from the streets of Pernik.
I
am in Pernik, a small town in Bulgaria, where the Surva festival has taken place since 1966. I am staying at the house of my friend Ina, who is a local and has been celebrating the feast since her birth. It is the last weekend of January, really cold but still sunny. We enjoyed a really nice breakfast which was prepared by Ina's grandmother for us - mekitsi. This is hard to translate into English, but could be described as a fried dough covered with sugar powder, homemade jam and in the salty version even with white cheese. Maybe you have heard of this typical Balkan grandmother who is always concerned that her grandchildren are well fed so she is preparing different kinds of dishes. Well, she is one of them. We take a bottle of homemade red wine with plastic cups and go to the central square. The opening is on Friday night and there is always a huge celebration including folklore singers, the typical Bulgarian (and not only) circle dance called horo, the typical Balkan barbecue which is spreading aroma everywhere, making sure that no one will stay hungry. The sky becomes colorful and full of lights because of the fireworks show. It is Saturday, the second day of the carnival. The whole town is out, lots of foreigners arrived just to see the spectacular carnival. It is connected with really old, pre-orthodox tradition. The participants in the festival are the so called “kukeri”. “Kuker” is a person, mostly male, who is dressed as a beast, bear or some kind of scary figure, wearing a huge mask which could be up to 3 m tall. The whole costume is made of natural materials such as fur, skin, wood and feathers.
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On their waist the kukeri have enormous bells called chanove. They have seven or eight bells which in total can weigh up to 20kg. They jump around so the bells make a lot of noise. In the kukeri group there are some other characters such as a bride (always played by a man), a bear, a priest. These characters usually stage a little play. The contemporary festival in Pernik is arranged as a competition where a jury gives awards for the best costumes and play and the spectators can see it on the main square. Not only local groups can be seen but also “kukeri” from neighboring countries such as Serbia, Romania and Macedonia. Their costumes are not as heavy, and they don’t have the same enormous masks like the Bulgarians because they are travelling by bus from their countries and can only bring smaller equipment. The festival is based on a tradition which takes place in the villages and include only one local group of kukeri. Every region has its typical costume. Some of them are only made of white, green, red cloth, some of them have huge feather masks, others look like giant bears. The group goes around the village, wishing health and happiness and performs a short play in every house. As a reward the people give them small gifts, mostly food. At the end they are playing on the square jumping fast so the huge bells can make their typical noise. The purpose of this noise is to chase the evil spirits away at the end of the winter as it is believed that otherwise they would harm the harvest in the next year.
culture
Most of the kukeri have their typical scary look like big teeth and angry faces but since nowadays Surva is a carnival based on a long tradition you can also see groups who are dressed like dolls, beautiful ladies and even minions from the “Despicable me” movie. A lady with huge feathers on her head dancing on a platform accompanied by music could be also seen and reminds me of the famous Brazilian carnival. The town is full of people, it is hard to find a café where we can have a nice warm drink during the cold festival weekend. Everyone is joking, dancing, having fun, being noisy and enjoying the sunny day. Some friends of Ina join us and we returne to the main square. We are drinking homemade red wine on the square wand afterwards stroll around to look for a nice souvenir for me. People from all over the country are selling different kind of things - bee products, homemade jams, meat products, handmade jewelry and of course little kukeri dolls. We talked with a lot of the kukeri, they are really playful and energetic. To be a kuker can be quite hard since the costumes are really heavy, they can be inconvenient and even smelly. The preparation of the costumes takes really long time - right after this year’s edition of the carnival they start with the preparation of the costumes for next year's edition. The style is similar but at the same time they are unique every year. It is a family tradition, you can see a father kuker with his little children dressed as cute little bears. We are standing next to some kukeri who are waiting their turn to go on the stage on the main square. They have taken their masks off because they are really heavy. “Can I take a picture with you?” - I ask one of them. “Sure!” - he says and puts the kukeri mask on my head. Now I am officially a KUKER!
Kristina Petkova
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Спорт
Through to the finals! Two more games. Only two more games and Macedonia has a chance to play at the European Championship. After the success of the Macedonian under 21 team, that took part in the European Championship in Poland in 2017 where unfortunately the team was not able to go through to the later stages, it appears a new light at the end of the tunnel. Still it was a big story because for the first time a Macedonian team in football managed to qualify for a big competition. Now the senior Macedonian national team has the chance to do it on the big stage.
After beating Gibraltar 4-0 in Skopje, Macedonia
finished first in group 4 of league D in the Nations league and they managed to qualify for the finals. They managed to go through, with 15 points, which is the second best score from the four groups in league D, only behind Georgia. With Macedonia and Georgia in the playoffs are also Belarus and Kosovo. In order to get to the European Championship, Macedonia will have to win the semi-final and later the final of the playoffs which will be played in March 2020 after the qualifications for the European Championship in 2020 will finish. Teams that will qualify for the EURO 2020 through the qualifications will leave space for the others to play in the playoffs, or the one that is coming next in the standings. With this in mind I believe that Macedonia has a great chance of going to the EURO 2020 with feet firmly on the ground and heads focused on the task in hand. This European Championship will be marking the 60th anniversary since its first edition in 1960. As a part of that UEFA has decided to have the matches played in 12
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different stadiums all over Europe that made bids to be part of this event, as well as Macedonia with its biggest stadium in Skopje, Philip the Second of Macedon, though unfortunately the bid was unsuccessful. Now since Macedonia will not host matches there is still a chance of having Macedonia present at the EURO 2020 and not just as spectators now, but out there on the field fighting and defending the colors of Macedonia. I would not want to say that this is the only chance or last chance for Macedonia to play in a big team competition but for sure is an excellent one. It presents an opportunity, a glimpse to awake and arouse masses to gather around the national team like few times before, to go and watch games for the Macedonian team, not for the team that is visiting and to bring a nation closer together. I sincerely hope for many chances like this one, for many matches on different competitions, for yelling our lungs out to give an extra boost to fight to the end, to play with their hearts. Come on Macedonia!!!
Andrej Naumovski
SPORT
Пласман во финалето! Уште два натпревари. Уште само два натпревари и Македонија има шанса да игра на Европско првенство. По успехот на македонскиот тим до 21 година кој играше на Европското првенство во Полска во 2017, каде за жал тимот не успеа да помине во подоцнежните етапи на првенството, сега се појавува ново светло на крајот на тунелот. И покрај се тоа беше голем успех и вест бидејќи за прв пат македонски тим во фудбал успеа да се пласира на некое големо натпреварување. Сега, македонскиот сениорен состав има можност да го направи тоа на големата сцена.
По победата на Гибрралтар од 4-0 во Скопје,
Македонија заврши прва во својата група 4 од лигата Д од Лигата на нации и успеа да се пласира во финалето односно на завршниот турнир. Македонија успеа да се пласира со 15 поени што е вториот најдобар резултат од четирите групи во лигата Д со само бод помалку од Грузија. Заедно со Македонија и Грузија на завршниот турнир се и Белорусија и Косово. Со цел да се квалификува за Европското првенство, Македонија најпрво ќе треба да победи во полуфиналето, а потоа и во финалето на завршниот турнир кој ќе се игра во март 2020 по завршување на квалификациите за Европското првенство. Екипите кои ќе се пласираат на ЕУРО 2020 низ квалификациите ќе остават место за оние другите кои се следни на табелите да играат на завршниот турнир на Лигата на нации. Имајќи го ова на ум, сметам дека Македонија има големи шанси да игра на ЕУРО 2020 со нозето цврсто на земја и целосно фокусирани на претстојната задача. Европското првенство ќе одбележува 60 години од неговото прво издание во 1960. Како дел од ова, УЕФА реши првенството да се игра на 12 различни стадиони
низ цела Европа кои поднесоа кандидатури да бидат дел од овој настан, заедно со нив и Македонија со нејзиниот најголем стадион во Скопје, Филип Втори Македонски, иако за жал кандидатурата беше неуспешна. Сега бидејќи Македонија нема да биде домаќин на натпревари се уште има шанса да биде присутна на ЕУРО 2020 и овојпат на само како гледачи туку на теренот и бранејќи ги боите на Македонија. Не би сакал да кажам дека ова е единствената или последната шанса Македонија да игра на едно големо, тимско натпреварување во фудбал, но сигурно е една одлична шанса. Се појавува можност, светлост да се разбуди и возбуди народот и да се сплоти за националниот тим како само неколку пати порано, да се оди и да се гледаат натпревари на македонскиот национален тим, а не за тимот кој моментално гостува и да сплоти една нација. Јас лично се надевам за многу вакви шанси, за многу натпревари на различни натпреварувања, за викање колку што ни држи гласот за уште тој мал поттик да се бориме до крај и да се игра со срцето на теренот. Ајде Македонија!!!
Андреј Наумовски VOICES - 27
ТЕМА НА МЕСЕЦОТ
СЕКС! Со или без љубов?
Сексот без љубов и посветеност може да биде едно прилично несекојдневно искуство но многумина велат дека тоа е многу побогато искуство доколку е збогатено со љубов. Како и да е, врската помеѓу креветот и чувствата сеуште е многу силна во нашиот мозок. И во овој контекс можеби е добро да се преформулира прашањето: дали е љубовта посилна кога сексот е присутен?
Во основа се смета дека сексот е попријатен ако
постои и љубов. За да се испита оваа теорија група научници од Универзитетот во Бон, Германија се чини дека дошле до вистинскиот одговор. Хормонот окситоцин (кој делумно е одговорен за заљубувањето) се зголемува во нашите тела за време на секс, го подобрува односот, привлечноста меѓу паровите и ја зајакнува врската. „Во суштина податоците покажуваат дека окситоцинот го активира системот на задоволство и на тој начин ја одржува врската помеѓу љубовниците и ја наглсува моногамијата. Овој биолошки механизам во односот е многу сличен на некои дроги но окситоцинот не е единствениот хормон вклучен во љубовната посветеност и сексуалност. Оргазмот предизвикува зголемено излачување на три невро-трансмитери: окситоцин, серотонин и допамин, што би значело: поврзување, еутимија (подобрување на состојбата на умот) и задоволство“-објаснува сексологот Joserra Landarroitajauregi. Мора да се нагласи дека сексот не е сведен само
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на пенетрација. Тоа би било голема грешка бидејќи задоволството и оргазмите, подеднакво кај мажите и жените, може да се постигне на различни начини и пенетрацијата е само еден од нив. Оралниот секс, мастурбацијата, анален секс, милување, бакнување и секој друг начин каде задоволството е постигнато, на некој начин е примена на секс. За „милениумските“ генерации повремен секс без постојан партнер е популарна практика што не доведува да се запрашаме дали тие го прават тоа само да ги истакнат сите сексуални односи кои ги оддржуваат или бидејќи е забавно и пријатно. Една студија од Универзитетот Camilo José Cela заклучува: „Младите луѓе преферираат да имаат секс по случаен избор одбегнувајќи ја одговорноста, како материјалната, така и емоционалната од имањето на постојан романтичен партнер“. 87% од младите испитаници изјавиле дека имале секс со некого кој не бил нив романтичен и постојан партнер. Од истиот тој процент 77% одговориле дека го направиле тоа за „физичко задоволство“, а останатиот мал процент одговориле дека
topic of the month причините биле бидејќи „скоро секој тоа го прави“, „под притисок на околината“ или за „емотивно задоволство“. Изборот да се има секс без обврски може исто така да е зголемено поради изменетиот начин на договарање и воспоставување на врски. Во денешно време односот помеѓу една личност и „ноќ на секс“ може соврешено да се погоди. Основната намера е да се има само секс но една работа може да доведе до друго, повеќе отколку што се надевате со таа личност да заклучите дека имате и други аспекти на совпаѓање освен во кревет. Следува дека тоа е уште еден начин како луѓето без партнер уживаат во нивната сексуалност бидејќи многу често претпоставуваме дека оние што се сами и сингл немаат сексуални односи. Интересно е да се видат резултатите од истражувањето што потврдува дека во 21 век
„мажите се позаинтересирани да имаат повремен секс од жените“. Дали е ова како резултат на фактот што жените сеуште носат општествена стигма која наложува дека она што се очекува од нив е да ја прифатат улогата да бидат посакувани, а не страната што посакува? Така девојка, свесна за општествената казна која е наметната не покажува интерес да спие со некого повремено иако тоа го сака. Луѓето се сопственици на својата сексуалност и ако сакате да имате односи за експериментирање или едноставно за сексуално задоволство, секој има право да одлучи дали ќе навлезе во сексуален однос без обврски, причината зошто тоа го прави и слободата да ужива во тоа. Општествените предрасуди и стереотипи предизвикуваат голема штета и ја потиснуваат сексуалноста. Денес имаме многу поголема слобода од нашите предци да го избереме нашиот начин на живот. Развојот на општеството не го гледа повеќе како лошо минувањето на една ноќ со некого. На секој од нас е да одлучиме дали сакаме да го споделиме нашиот сексуален живот со романтичен партнер или со различни луѓе. Сите опции се прифатливи и никогаш не е доцна да го испробаме спротивното.
Ана Фернандез Хернандез https://www.elmundo.es/papel/lifestyle/2017/09/21/59c397f0ca47410b068b4617.html Book: Pere Estupinyà S=EX² La Ciencia del Sexo (Debolsillo, 2014) https://elpais.com/elpais/2016/10/11/buenavida/1476184267_196925.html http://iunives.com/iunives/promociones/2018-quinta-promocion-master-oficial/interes-y-satisfaccion-sexual-en-las-relacioneseroticas-sin-pareja-romantica-y-estable/
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