If by C.F. Molina

If

by C.F. Molina

When I kill myself I’m going to make sure I shave my head And strategically shape my beard And drape myself in foreign cloth

When I kill myself I want to make sure that they report on my death properly “Latino kid finally offs himself” That way Maybe it’ll be less sad for everyone

When I kill myself I’ll be sure to make it quiet Don’t want to scare the neighbors And my dog will be at someone else’s house And my boyfriend will be out of town

When I kill myself I’m going to be alone just Me and a Gun And when I kill myself you won’t have to ask why You’ll know

I felt the word faggot burned on my psyche I felt the smoke sting my eyes and squeeze every last drop of blood from my body I felt, and I felt, and I felt Until I didn’t.