Before "I Do" what to do

Before "I Do" what to do

by Michelle Drewek

It’s official—you’re engaged! No amount of chick flicks or fantasies could prepare you for that moment your beloved got down on one knee. Your new bling has hundreds of “likes” on Facebook, and you can’t help but stare at it whenever the light catches it just right. As you scroll through Pinterest and bombard your wedding board with dozens of ideas, you think you have this planning game in the bag…until you realize you have no idea where to start. Don’t hit the panic button! We’ve got you covered.

Know Your Finances

It’s easy to get swept up into the excitement of planning a wedding. Before you dive in, lay out your budget. Family may be helping pay for portions of the day, and if that is the case you’ll want to have a candid conversation at the onset about what they have budgeted for you and what that budget is intended for. For example, traditionally the groom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, but that doesn’t mean you should expect that of them. Communicating your needs with their expectations will alleviate tension early on and keep you and your fiancé within your means so you can enjoy this day instead of having it financially cripple you. Once you have a budget determined, you’ll want to set aside a “safety net” for any unexpected costs that may come up, as well as a small reserve for tips for your vendors.

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Manage Expectations

Let’s face it, you’ve probably been envisioning your wedding day far longer than your fiancé. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have ideas for what he would like your celebration to look like. Sit down with your budget and discuss what areas are most important to each of you. From there, consult one another before any final decisions are made. His input may be “it doesn’t matter to me” for some details, but giving him the chance to be included sends a strong message to him about how much you value him.

Who, When & Where

Now that you’ve communicated expectations, you can begin digging into planning. Your guest list will be important in knowing what venues you can consider based on capacity size of the space. You don’t

need an exact number, but know what your maximum head count will be so each location you visit can help decide if they can accommodate your needs. Many venues book up well in advance, so you’ll want to find your location as soon as possible. You may have a specific date in mind you’d like for your big day, but be willing to be flexible if you dream location is already booked on that date. Likewise, you may need to veto a venue if the date is a deal breaker. Know which is more important to you—the date or the place—and proceed accordingly.

Memory Makers

When it comes to making memories, the caterer and entertainment set the mood for the evening and will be talked about for years to come, and the photographer/videographer will be the ones capturing it all through their lens. Visit with at least three vendors in each of these areas so you can not only do a cost comparison, you also feel confident that whomever you hire doesn’t just fit your tastes but is someone you trust.

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Décor & More

You likely already have a theme in mind for your wedding, but now is the time to plan out the finer details of how it will all come together through things like flowers, décor, centerpieces, color palettes, etc. Finding a florist who can help you create a lot of these elements through their knack for design and talented vision will bring a sense of cohesion to everything else you incorporate. We have great tips for finding vendors that will match your style in the pages of Veil Magazine, as well as our online resources.

Bridal Party Attire

The gowns and tuxes should be planned out about 9 months in advance to allow enough time for ordering and alterations. While you will likely take the lead on a lot of the planning initiation, having your groom take ownership of menswear will eliminate a lot of undue stress to you. Plan a day that you can go with him to come to an agreement on colors and styles, and then let him coordinate the men from there.

Invitations & Registries

Once you have your guest list and date set, you can send out Save the Dates so your loved ones can plan ahead to celebrate with you. Actual invitations don’t need to go out until about 45-60 days prior to your date. It’s inevitable that you’ll have a handful of guests that will forget to send back their RSVP by the due date. Plan in an extra week for you and your fiancé to be able to follow up on any unknown RSVPs before your final guest count numbers are due to vendors.

When it comes to the registry, starting early on isn’t a bad idea as some people will want to buy you a gift as early as your engagement party, but don’t feel pressured to create a more complete registry until the bridal shower invites are ready to go out. You’ll want to revisit your registry after your bridal shower to make sure wedding guests have enough of a selection of items at various price points to browse through. For ideas about what to register for, visit the Veil Magazine website.

Day-Of Checklist

Plan as you may, there will be the inevitable surprise or two that comes up during the wedding day. However, you can help alleviate a lot of that unnecessary stress by creating a list of things to remember to bring with you on your wedding day, having an agenda printed for your bridal party, and noting any final payments or other vendor-related items that may require your attention. Having a bridal attendant in charge of keeping track of this list and your wedding day needs is a great way to incorporate an important member of your family or friend who couldn’t be a part of the bridal party while allowing you to relax more knowing someone there to help you through the day.

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