the last day M
FINAL MOMENTS ON CAMPUS
Text by RACHEL LIT
Y FINAL MOMENTS at Palo Alto High School there, I was too caught up in writing Verde’s breaking news story should have consisted of yearbook signings and on the official school closure announcement to really be able to sunny, quad-side spikeball tournaments; a day process what had just happened. with no pants, a grade-wide trip to the beach and To be completely honest, I don’t remember much else about green grad caps. From the smallest interactions with classmates to that day. I wasn’t able to go to lacrosse practice because of the the most memorable senior-year milestones, that last, bittersweet cough, missing what turned out to be the last time the team would stretch of high school leading up to the biggest transition of my life be together in person. Peers were already talking about obscure would grant me closure — enough to say goodbye to the people hobbies they wanted to take up during their time off; some even I’m closest to and the place I’ve called home for the past four years. celebrating the cancelation of work they were procrastinating on. Instead, on March 13, two-and-a-half months earlier than My closest friends had our first Zoom call that night, the beginning planned, I took a 20 minute physics quiz before being shunted of my newfound virtual social life. off to the nurse’s office, and got sent home by 9 a.m. What started In no way am I an outwardly emotional person, which has off as a normal, tedious, TGIF school day would fatefully — and proven to be very confusing for me during this time of grief and abruptly — turn into my last. uncertainty. Regardless, I’m extremely nostalgic and sentimental, My morning routine that Friday was the same as always: grog- so reflecting on the fact that I’m missing my fourth quarter of segily scrambling out of bed at 7:50 a.m. and absentmindedly driv- nior year has, at times, physically hurt. I’m constantly torn between ing to school, one hand on the wheel feeling angry at the world, content and one holding a piece of toast for with this strange sense of freedom What started off as a norbreakfast. As always, I was greeted by that’s come with so much time on my mal, tedious, TGIF school an energetic Mr. Hu, the student teachhands, and just pure sadness. This exer in my physics class, in the doorway perience is something I can’t wrap my day would fatefully — and of room 1701, before sitting next to my head around. abruptly — turn into my last. best friend, Zoe. I wish more than anything to be For obvious reasons (on top of the with the class of 2020 right now, to fact that we’ve been out of school for the past few months), I don’t have danced our hearts out at Prom together, to take four years remember what my quiz was on or really how the rest of the class worth of paperwork and toss it in the air alongside each other, to went. But the next thing I knew, Mr. Lupoli was asking me to go to wear my uncomfortably warm camo pants one last time. Yet simulthe nurse’s office to seek “professional medical attention.” taneously, I don’t know if I could actually go back to Paly after all Yes, I’d been coughing. Nobody knew where it came from, this. I’m in this weird limbo stage between high school and college, but it was clear I wasn’t actually sick as I’d been healthy in every unable to really move forwards or backwards. other aspect. Though gone now, the cough had persisted for over So, I try to reminisce instead of wish. two months — it wasn’t until that week that people started to care. I miss driving a car with all seven seats filled, stereo blasting It was my first trip to the nurse’s office in my entire time at throwbacks, to go on our next midnight adventure after beating Paly, so at the very least, it was one more thing to check off my Gatos in basketball. I remember the chaotic joy surrounding spirit bucket list before graduating. Mrs. Kleckner, the nurse, checked week; lost voices, spray paint-stained hands, best-dressed titles and my temperature as I coated my hands in hand sanitizer. After being too many Shrek jokes. I treasure the small moments; intramural asked a few questions, I was told it was just a “residual cough,” that volleyball games, late night production shenanigans and surI did not have a fever and that I wasn’t contagious. Yet campus rounding myself with those I love. security was called to collect my things from the classroom before Not being able to have those “lasts” I’ve been looking forescorting me out to the parking lot. ward to is heartbreaking to say the least, but it doesn’t destroy Half laughing, half shocked, I called my mom as I turned the memories I’ve already made. I It doesn’t make me forget the onto El Camino Real, explaining why I was com- people I’ve come to lean on as we’ve grown up together, both ing home. By throughout high school, the time I got and now, this. v
42 JUNE 2020
CAMO CRAZE (left and right) — Members of the class of 2020 sport their army green attire and perform their spirit dance on the last day of spirit week in November. Photos by Amy Liu and Kimi Lillios
