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KENNEDY CASTELLI
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CHELSEA GROSS
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JULIA DANTONIO
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A sentence from one of our guests this issue struck me T E S T F O R S P A C I N G !
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VERONICA GERMANO EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
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SHOT LIST Location: Adler Studio, 5/3 2-5PM Props: slime, jell-o, chair Key Lighting: gels (lighting setup) Portrait shot (of model’s face + makeup with gems) Close up shot of lips (gem stick-ons, stickers, etc.) Profile shot (model leans forward with head up) with glitter splatter Full body shot – model stands straight holding prop (slime, bag, etc.) Half body shot, low angle Full body shot- model on a stool/chair Close up- model sitting, close up on accessory (bag/shoes) Medium shot- model captured in motion High angle shot- of all accessories, props Full body shot- model sitting on the floor
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SICK G*RL DOMINIQUE DIMICELLI
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What made you decide to focus on music right now in your career because i know you’ve a bit more of a non-linear path
and “you’re actually crap and no one’s gonna listen” uhm and i just try and quiet that voice as much as i can. But those were the issues with me releasing it.
Yeah. uhm well i was i like jumped a lot i’ve always jumped a lot. I started writing when i was really young, i recently found out that i had started writing in the first grade and i thought i started writing in the fifth grade. But it was always story-based uhm and then in november of 2017 i started i like stopped writing for like 2 years (prior) and started writing poems again and i rhymed in my poems for the first time. I never used to rhyme ever it was too hard. I couldn’t figure it out, i just wanted to write as much as i could. And then i was like “ok, i’m going to start recording these into photobooth as like poems. Uhm and then people started asking me like “oh what’s your soundcloud? Or can i send you a beat for this, can i produce for this.” and i was like what the fu-? I wasn’t trying to do music but i was like i guess yeah it could be raps. Uhm and it kind of was just like the best way for me to get all of my emotions out uhm because i was going through a lot at the time so it was the easiest way to get everything off my chest. And it made it easier to cope with because, you know, you’re going through all this shit in life and if you can turn it into art that you can enjoy then it’s almost like it’s not as bad because you make something beautiful out of something really ugly. So that’s why.
Going off what you mentioned, a lot of your lyrics do touch on the struggles that you face presently and also growing up , it can be personal what motivates you to remain this authentic? Especially since you’re releasing this content online where anyone has a voice and it can stay there. I don’t know, i don’t know how to be anything other than myself i guess but that’s not true because i have i don’t know i have all my alter egos within myself but that is still myself, so i think back to it being the easiest way to get my emotions out. Like i know it’s terrifying showing that to people and i used to never like all throughout high school and before i used to not tell a soul about like any struggle that i ever had and honestly making music has helped me realize that that’s not healthy. I don’t know if showing it to the entire world is like like that’s a massive flip compared to like not telling my friends or family but that and also i know so many people struggle with like similar issues and when i put out a song where i’m talking about whatever i’m talking about whether it’s mental illness or drug use or whatever and people are like people will hit me up and say you know “you made me feel less alone and thank you for that” that makes me want to keep doing it. I also want to just make it clear that whenever i do talk about drug use it’s never endorsement it’s always just like experience like from my perspective. I’m never trying to be like “hey yeah do this drug that’ll make you cool” because it fucking doesn’t ever drugs arent cool, but and some people do interpret it that way and which stresses me out and then i’m like “should i censor myself?” so that is something i’ve thought about. A lot of my followers are younger like lil peep younger, kids, and it makes me nervous. That they’re going to interpret it the wrong way. But then i go back to like no there’s no censorship in art. I’m not going to censor myself i’m going to be who i am. I’m going to say what i want to say, so.
Do you think that kind of like having transferring your poems from that concrete like on paper to photobooth and then i assume you shared it on social media and that’s how you got that feedback do you think that social media was like definitely like a big part of it? And how much do you think that has affected how you create? Massively, like i definitely like i would record into photobooth and i would post it on instagram sometimes twitter but mostly instagram because that’s where i think i had like a bigger audience and i know a bunch of people that have been doing music whether it’s rapping or producing they would see it and they would want to reach out to me and that definitely helped me go in that direction because if other people who were in the industry didn’t push me i wouldn’t have went that route like one of the people that’s produced a lot of my songs and featured on one of my songs he i found him through this filmmaker who has done films for like a bunch of different people and like a bunch of scad kids followed him so i followed him and then i saw that he made a music video for the Black Toilet which is the kid that’s produced for me he produces under Kwanza and he found my art page and i had had a bunch of my poems like in photobooth on there and he was like “yo we have to work let me send you beats let me send you beats and he honestly like without him specifically like i probably would not have made like a bunch of my first songs and then i wouldn’t have you know like continued with it. Social media has been extremely helpful just like networking, making connections. Like i had no idea who he was. He lives in jacksonville the only reason i knew him was because of someone else who other people knew, i didn’t even know that kid.
That definitely is an issue i know like some people Because like the work is so personal to you and you can’t control kind of like what happens after like you said that honest portrayal is probably the best compared to other songs that talk about those topics. How do you decide when you feel a track or album is ready to be released? Ok so before this album i would just i would get home from work at like 10pm i would sit at my computer and i’d either like have written lyrics that work or like earlier in the day i’d start writing them then or i’d look back in a notebook and find lyrics and go off of that. And someone would have sent me a beat i’d put it in garageband i’d record it like 600 times until i liked the way it sounded and then by the time i was done it was like 6AM and i’m like “i’m too excited drop it!” uhm but now i feel way more like “come down you don’t have to drop it this second.” You like “finish” it. Because now that i’m thinking more about the mixing and mastering process like the actual technical part of music i want things to be clean when they’re finished and not just, “i finished recording it. The beat’s there. Let me just drop it.” I’m excited, you know? I don’t know what makes a song finished because i do love some of my songs that i dropped like before they probably were finished like there are a lot of songs that are not mixed well whatsoever and if i reapproached them and remixed them, they’d probably sound more professional. But i still like them and i like watching my progress of like “oh this really sounds like it was recorded on garageband” to like “ok this sounds closer to studio” but not studio yet so i don’t know. I drop things whenever i feel comfortable. Like Divine Collide i wanted to drop in january and i just sat there with it like “i don’t think it’s good, yeah it’s good, nah i don’t think it’s good, yeah it’s good”. And i just went back and forth until i finally like shut up the bad side of my brain and i was like “yeah no, it’s time”. So i don’t think there’s like a set answer to that. Just like whenever i’m confident enough.
You recently self-released an album, and i know based off of some of your tweets you weren’t sure whether you released at the right time, what kind of challenges did you face with that? Well first, i’m extremely vulnerable in all of my songs. I dont really know how to write about i mean some of my songs, which can be fun, i’ll write about bullshit and like haha weed haha partying. But like for the most part i feel like i’m writing about my traumas so the idea of putting out a whole album where i’m like “hey, this is everything that happened to me and this is how i feel about myself and this is how i feel about the world. Like that was scary. Also i used garageband for like everything so i like mix all my own vocals. There’s like one song on there that someone else professionally mixed, but otherwise i mix my own vocals and i just started making music so i don’t like really know. But i watched some youtube videos and i think that i’ve gotten way better. Like if you listen to the first song on my soundcloud compared to like the album i think the mixing you can tell has improved. But like yeah stuff like vulnerability and just self-doubt. Whether it’s about the technical aspects of it or like the lyrics in general like “oh is this actually a good lyric? Am i even good at this?” like overall i have a lot of self-doubt so i just go back and forth between this egoism like “yeah fuck yeah i’m so good at this this is gonna work”
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I know you’ve kind of been mentioning now focusing on the technical side after going through the process of solely getting it out. Do you think you’ll ever consider going a professional route if the opportunity presented itself and professionally mix your songs? I would love to i really just want to learn everything. Which is hard to do in one life but i just want to learn as much as i can. And i have made some nice connections that i think would help me learn how to better my music whether it’s mixing, mastering, or learning how to actually produce my own songs. Like the beat itself that’s something i really really want to do so that something is fully mine. I love all of my producers they’re fucking awesome and they’re so nice. And they always help me whether it’s boosting my confidence or critiquing something on it but i would love to learn how to be more professional. But i don’t want that to ever turn into me not being authentic to myself. Because a lot of people, they sign to labels and then their music is not them anymore i never want that to happen. That’s terrifying. Because then it’s like, what’s the point of making music like i’m making it, in my bedroom, after crying, to get my emotions out. Like if i were to sign to a label and they told me to rap about “blah blah blah blah blah” like that’s not me. Why would i do that?
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Do you think that at least now because as young people we are pressured so much to have that standard college experience and that you “need” that in order to succeed, what are your thoughts on that and how has having a little bit of the college experience and then not being able to continue, but now that you’ve found this passion of yours, would you ever want to change that for a typical college experience? How has this non-traditional approach informed you as an artist? I’ve thought about this so much, because it wasn’t my choice to drop out. It was (scad) and then finances, so it was kind of like “you can’t go back.” and all i wanted to do was go back, i wanted to be in my painting classes. I wanted to i thought about maybe not even finishing with a degree, finishing by like “ok i’m going to take this painting class, this music class, this film class, this this and this” just so that i can learn as much as i can. And i won’t get a degree and then i’ll just drop out after i get enough information. But that option was taken of the table and i went home. I had a job, but otherwise i had nothing to do. So i did this music stuff. And then it picked up, nicely, and i made some nice connections. And i didn’t feel as bad about not being in school. And coming back to savannah, i’ve talked to a lot of people who aren’t in school like were never in scad or have dropped out or are in scad but want to leave. And i really like i don’t think college is necessarily something you need to do to succeed in life. I think if you have a plan in whatever direction you want to go, i think you can get there, you know? If you want to push yourself hard enough. I think having a little bit of like learning a little bit from scad, like i took one oil painting class and i feel like i can teach myself the rest when it comes to painting at least with oil. But having a little bit of exposure to a college experience was awesome, also i wouldn’t have met any of these people. I wouldn’t have gone through a lot of the traumas that i did. Uhm and so coming here for school was very important to me, not being in school anymore doesn’t bother me anymore. And i would say to people who are contemplating dropping out to pursue something greater than what they think they’re doing now at school. I would say go for it. My mom has also been extremely supportive like my entire life like told me and my brother like “if you’re not ready for college after high school like don’t go to college like wait” or now that i’m not in school she’s like you’re doing this right now and it’s working. You know? As long as you’re working towards something, college isn’t everything, a degree isn’t everything. What am i going to do with a painting degree anyway? I could just tell someone i went to (scad) and it sounds nice. I don’t need the degree.
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Do you think a lot of that is out of that like pressure that we face right now to be in school and how expensive it is and this sort of normalization of dropping out? I think honestly as the internet grows people can do way more without any degree. I know people that didn’t finish high school that are continuing with a career in whatever way that they’ve built it for themselves. I would recommend that people finish high school or get a GED but like going, college like really i don’t think is necessary. And finances play a massive part in that i think i know that (scad) is a private school it would have been cheaper, a different story if i went to a community college but it also would have been a different you know experience altogether. But i think with how expensive it is and with the stress the massive amount of stress that comes with a college experience and education, i don’t think it’s necessary. I just think a plan is necessary. And that doesn’t even mean you need to have your plan now. I just turned 20. I don’t have a plan plan. I’m just doing what i’m doing and hoping that it works. Building the plan slowly as i go. And i think that’s what everyone is trying to do. That’s how i feel about it.
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