21st, 22nd May I.C.E. Players Latest Production An Original Summer Revue 7.30 for 8.00pm
Wed 25th May Castellar Zoo Trip
CLUB SIBERME CLUB SIERRA BERMEJA SOCIO-CULTURAL DE ESTEPONA
INTERNATIONAL CLUB OF ESTEPONA FOR ALL ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLE
of San Pedro - Estepona - Casares - Manilva Sotogrande & Beyond
May 2016 Edition www.siberme.com Email: clubsiberme@hotmail.com
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ICE Magazine Contents Page 5 President’s Letter & Other Information Nigel’s Classified Ads Page 6 Bulletin Board & Information Page 8 Members Recipes Page 9 A Bridge To Far, Article Page 10/11/12 Past Events Page 12 Bowling News Page 13 Event Posters Page 14 May Events
Page 16 Blevins Franks Article Page 20/21 May Calendar Page 27 Future Events Page 29 Golf Society and Club House News Page 30/31/32/33 Technology Matters Page 35 Leisure Page Page 36 General Information Page 37 Committee and Advert Information Page 38 Just for a Smile, Quiz Answers
Thanks to all those who have contributed items for your magazine this month, please keep them coming. WANTED: Further input from members for your magazine, articles , experiences, useful information, recipes, anything of interest. It is getting more difficult to fill the pages.
President: Sue Potter Editor: Terry Smith Advertising: Jackie Simmonds Disclaimer: - The committee wishes to declare that ICE does not accept responsibility for the contents of articles nor the claims made by advertisers. Printed by Digiprint, Avda Litoral, Edificio Visamar, Blq 2 Local 9, 29680 Estepona Visit Our New Improved Club Website: www.siberme.com Free Wi-Fi for members at the clubhouse. Now upgraded to 8Mb The magazine is published on the website on or before the first day of each month. PLEASE MENTION ICE CLUB & MAGAZINE WHEN CONTACTING ADVERTISERS.
Editorial: Well summer will soon be upon us and if the press are reporting correctly more holiday makers than ever are expected in Spain this year due to security risks and worries in some European and other countries. It is such a shame for those countries and resorts that are now affected with loss of earnings and revenue due to these risks. Some seen on news broadcasts have become like ghost towns. So we must look forward to lack of car park spaces, long queues in supermarkets, full restaurants, I could go on, however for about 10 months when we enjoy the more tranquil lifestyle? we will forgive them. Regards
Terry Smith
PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR I.C.E club is managed and run entirely by volunteers, including catering and bar staff, event organisers and your voted committee. All those that have volunteered say ‘it is a great way to make new friends.’ Why not get involved? FACT: Without volunteers the club could not exist.
Editor Terry Smith Email: terrysmith@siberme.com Phone 951 276 690 Mobile 677 656 319 Web: www.siberme.com
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Estepona Osteopathic Clinic
For all Property Maintenance Services and key holding, let me care for your property whilst you are away!
PAUL KNIGHT Bsc(Hons) Ost.
Specialist treatment for back, neck and limb injuries, children and expectant mothers.
Mobile: 625 957 673 1D, First Floor, 124, Avenida de España, Estepona
REFERENCES SUPPLIED IF REQUIRED Gas Service/Installation All plumbing requirements Tiling Home Refurbishments Painting, inside & out General repairs and maintenance to
your home & garden or pools Anything from a complete bathroom to a curtain pole or a light fitting. No job too small and all at realistic rates. 35 Years experience. UK Corgi & ACOPS Reg. Telephone for a free, prompt and efficient service on: 650 884 147 e-mail: gplocke6@hotmail.com
Located immediately opposite the underground car park entrance, facing the sea.
OPTICA MACHIN
A cut Above
English Optometrist now available for consultation on the Costa del Sol.
Jane Staunton Machin BScMB Optom CNOO Av. Litoral – Ed. Vistamar Blq. 2 – Local 1 29680 ESTEPONA MALAGA Tel: 952 806 813 Full Eye Examinations: Glaucoma Screening: Designer & Non-Designer frames & lenses: Sunglasses: (prescription & non-prescription) Domiciliary Visits: (by appointment) Contact Lens Fitting.
The Friendly British Hair Salon Unisex Peluqueria For Every Day & Those Special Occasions 952 805 485 Ask For THERESA We are offering a promotion on Blow-dries, Shampoo and Sets for 12 Euros. Tuesday to Friday OAP days are Tuesday to Friday We are closed on Mondays Estepona Port Opposite Club Nautico
www.opticamachin.com 4
Presidents Letter: During April we had to say our last farewell to Roy Gilbey, our thoughts are with his wife Grace at this very sad time, they had just celebrated their diamond wedding anniversary. We held a very successful Foreign Resident's day at the Palacio, 2 people joined the Club after seeing our stall, well done to Brenda, Sally and all their team for all their hard work. May I remind you that we are all volunteers and being rude to anyone, especially behind the Bar, will not be tolerated. Without our volunteers the Club would not exist so please be patient, better still become a volunteer yourself. See Mac re the bar and Brenda re the kitchen. Sue Gregory one of the new members from the Palacio has already volunteered to help in the kitchen. We have a new event this month, a fashion show with afternoon tea, a chance to buy the clothes afterwards will be available, sorry men your wallets may take a hammering!! I know this time of year some members will be returning to the UK to avoid the heat, I wish you well and hope you have a dry warm summer. For those of us who tolerate the heat, remember to have your air cons serviced. Sue SAD NEWS. It’s with great sadness that we announce the death of Roy Gilbey (1st. April) at the Costa del Sol hospital. He had had brain haemorrhage and remained in a coma. Our thoughts are with Grace and their family at this time. A lovely couple, long standing club members who will be remembered having joined in with the club on many day and holiday trips. Nuala & Patrick O’Connell
The Club Welcomes New Members: Catherine Kemp Joe Heinlein Sue Gregory
NIGEL’S CLASSIFIED ADS, THESE ARE FREE TO MEMBERS. TO SUBMIT ADVERT: See Nigel or email nnevshehir@gmail.com or contact editor Unless otherwise requested these adverts will be published for 1 month only. GOOD HOME REQUIRED for unused INK CARTRIDGES. Epson Daisy black and colours. Free of charge. Call on: 956 796 624 or email me: geoff_morgan@mac.com WANTED: SHOWER DOOR, 34 inches wide, price negotiable. Christie Brown Tele: 638 938 074 WANTED: FRIDGE FREEZER, In Good Working Order Prices Negotiable WANTED: WASHING MACHINE, In Good Working Order Marion Allen Mobile: WANTED: TO RENT: SECURE WORKSHOP OR SPACE/GARAGE/ 653 329 803 LOCKUP ETC. With Electricity Supply (can easily be metered if necessary) marionrallen@gmail.com for Monty for Light Machine Work.
Food For Thought ‘Why is there only one monopolies commission?’ 5
Lottery Winners March 1st Julie Wood 72€ 2nd David Hackett 36€ 3rd Carol Murray 18€ Club 54€
Bulletin
Board
BOOK LIBRARY: CAN MEMBERS PLEASE NOT SUBMIT HARDBACK BOOKS TO THE LIBRARY, PAPERBACKS WILL ONLY BE ACCEPTED. Returned books should be placed at the foot of the first half of the alphabet as designated - the librarian will then sort. DVD Library: Can members please ensure they sign for all borrowed films and add membership number, Please return films as soon as possible and sign as returned. Jigsaw Puzzles: There is a selection of jigsaw puzzles available stored under the video library. They are mostly 500 pieces, some 1,000. Glasses, cups etc: Please return to the bar before leaving the club. Please place used unbroken bottles carefully in bin provided, which is positioned under the dartboard. Return plates and cutlery to the kitchen. Terrace Doors: Those people who open terrace doors are responsible for closing same. TRIP CANCELLATIONS MUST BE REFERRED IN FIRST INSTANCE TO THE ORGANISER IMPORTANT: TELL THE BAR STAFF OF ANY BROKEN GLASS AND THEY WILL DISPOSE OF IT.
PLEASE NOTE: NOT IN SPAIN? RENEWING YOUR ANNUAL CLUB MEMBERSHIP CAN BE CARRIED OUT BY BANK TRANSFER. FOR DETAILS PLEASE CONTACT CLUB TREASURER TED LUNNISS 608 601 230 EMAIL: ted_lunniss@hotmail.co.uk IMPORTANT, ALL ORGANISERS PLEASE NOTE: THE CLUBHOUSE FURNITURE MUST BE LEFT AS SET FOR A THURSDAY MEETING BEFORE LEAVING THE CLUB. SWITCH OFF LIGHTS, FANS AND AIR CONDITIONERS. SET BUILDING ALARM AND LOCK DOORS. YOUR CLUB NEEDS YOU - MORE VOLUNTEERS REQUIRED - GREAT FOR MEETING OTHER MEMBERS Your club is run by volunteers, without them we cannot function. Help is required for the following: The club urgently requires more bar volunteers, just once a month would be a great help, training available, see Mac McIntyre Bar Manager. Required also catering help to prepare food and serve on occasional Thursdays, no washing up, see Brenda Taylor Catering Manager. Required also meeters and greeters to man the front door for just an hour on a Thursday club morning, see Maureen Baldwin-Winckle. Again just the odd occasion would be a help.
ICE Ramblers Group
Contact Sue Potter Walk Co-ordinator 637 148 660 or 952 892 386 Ramblers Please Note: The club does not have any Insurance Policy in force in relation to its Rambling activities, and all members and their guests participate entirely at their own risk. Neither the club nor any walk leader will be responsible for any injury or loss suffered by any participant however caused. Those attending rambling events should be suitably attired with stout walking footwear and carry waterproofs in case of weather change. You should carry a packed lunch and adequate liquids for duration of ramble.
International Emergency: Phone 112 6
YOUR INVITATION TO FUTURA MARBELLA HEARING CENTER
The all-new most up to date hearing centre in the Costa now opened.
* * * *
FREE HEARING CHECKUP FREE DEMONSTRATION BEST DIGITAL HEARING AID PRICES ALL MODELS AVAILABLE AVENIDA RAMÓN Y CAJAL Nº 3 GALERÍA SAN CRISTÓBAL LOCAL 16 29600 MARBELLA
Call for your appointment. Michael Briales Total dedication to your hearing needs. Mobile 660 892 627
TEL: 952859925
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WILMA’S RECIPES OF THE MONTH Delicious summer chicken salad for 4: 2 chicken breasts - steam in white wine (no water) Handful of each: grapes - peel, quarter, deseed walnuts - chopped Almonds - chopped 2 heaped tbsp each green pepper, onion, celery, spring onions 2 garlic cloves - chopped finely 4 tbsp. mayonnaise add 1 tsp of curry powder, salt and pepper
Brunch idea: Potato cakes for 2 1 large potato, cooked, best from day before, mashed 1 egg parsley, chives, pepper and salt mix together and fry top with scrambled eggs and smoked salmon chopped
Salmon fish cakes with parsley sauce for 4: Parsley sauce, make roux 500 gr cooked salmon - bone and crumble roughly 25 gr butter, melt 1 medium onion - blanch (don't brown) 1 tbsp. flour, blend together 2 cloves garlic - blanch add white wine and cream 2 mashed cooked potatoes some parmesan 2 eggs Parsley and pre fried salt, pepper, plenty of parsley and chives chopped onions mix all together and roll in breadcrumbs dash of lemon juice fry in oil/butter mix salt and pepper I hope these are useful, best regards, Wilma
Freddie's Lemon Curd (Use up all those lemons!) This lemon curd has a strong flavour because it uses less sugar than most curd recipes. Oranges can be substituted for the lemons to make a flavoursome orange curd. INGREDIENTS: TO MAKE ONE TO ONE AND A HALF POUNDS (500 G TO 700 G) OF CURD: 4 large lemons ¼lb.(100 g) margarine or butter ½lb (500 g) sugar 4 eggs Put the grated rind and juice of 4 large lemons into a mixing bowl. Add the margarine or butter and sugar. Whisk 4 eggs, then strain them into the bowl. Put the bowl over a pan of simmering water. Stir until the sugar has dissolved and the margarine or butter has melted. Continue to cook, stirring constantly, until the curd thickens and coats the back of a spoon. It will thicken more as it cools. Pour the curd into clean, dry, warm jars and cover as for marmalade. It will keep in a cool place for up to 1 month. Submitted by Freddie Thomas
PLEASE NOTE: Due to lack of interest from members Anne Hardwick has sadly taken the decision to discontinue the Monday Chicago Bridge events. 8
A BRIDGE TOO FAR? China opened the most terrifying walkway in the world, stretching a quarter-of-a-mile across a canyon at a dizzying height of 980 ft... and it's made of GLASS. The Zhangjiajie skywalk hovering over a 980 ft drop. If you are terrified of heights you would be advised to stay well away from China's latest attraction. The Zhangjiajie Grand Canyon skywalk smashes records to be the world's longest and highest glassbottomed bridge. The dizzying walkway is suspended between two cliffs in the Zhangjiajie Grand Canyon area with unbeatable views of the national park was the inspiration for the planet Pandora in the movie Avatar. Visitors will be able to marvel at the stunning Zhangjiajie national park landscape, which boasts over 3,000 sandstone pillars. For tourists who catch the adrenaline bug from completing the transparent walkway, there will also be the opportunity to try the world's highest bungee jump. This record-breaking bungee will snatch the title from Macau Tower's 764ft-high attraction. Sky-high fashion! There are plans to hold fashion shows along the bridge set against the picturesque Zhangjiajie backdrop Israeli architect Haim Dotan was behind the ambitious venture, which will easily dwarf America's Grand Canyon Skywalk which sits 718ft above ground measuring 68ft long.
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PAST EVENTS Sunday 20th March - Ghost Writer Performed By The International Theatre Studio I.C.E. member Kate Jackson told club members about the above production by the theatre group performed at the Atalaya Park Hotel. Well you would have thought an I.C.E. coach party had arrived at the Sunday performance, there were so many of us there. A farcical play based on the playwright writing a play to be read by his guests at a party to flush out the person who killed his wife, her ghost playing a leading role! Thanks to Kate for letting us know of the event and well done to her for playing one of the leading roles. Wednesday 23rd March - Trip To Algaba Near Ronda Village of Bygone Years I.C.E. club members' memories may go back a long way, but none go back quite to prehistoric times! So it was an excursion into unknown territory when a party of about 50 travelled the steep and winding road to Ronda to visit Finca Algaba, a scientific project which is in the process of reconstructing a Neolithic settlement typical of those which have been found in Andalucía and which date back 5000 years. On the rather chilly and windswept hillside members were introduced to the flora and fauna, village culture and farming methods of the era. The guide and her translator explained how to make tools and pots to kill, skin and cook animals, how to construct a dolmen, how to grind corn, how to mix paints, and how to keep warm inside a hut made of mud and thatch. It was a fascinating insight into prehistoric life in a beautiful, unspoilt location, but somehow the lure of the 21st century restaurants and' shops of Ronda was even more attractive, and that was where the rest of the day was spent. Many thanks to Wilma for organising such an enjoyable visit. Submitted by Sally Holloway
Friday 25th March - Fish or Pie and Chips Supper ‘Hooray’ its returned, and a very popular evening it was, nearly fifty members attending. When the fish appeared there were a few comments ‘is it a whale?’ As the portions were very large. As were the portions of the sweets, apple crumble or pavlova. No one went home hungry! Thanks to Rob, Alan, Sue and Sue, and not forgetting Isabella in the kitchen, also Tracy and Nigel manning the bar.
PRESBYTERIAN : When you rearrange the letters becomes BEST IN PRAYER 10
PAST EVENTS Tuesday 5th April - Garden Group Meeting The second Garden Club meeting had another good attendance. It was held this time at Ken and Sally Holloway’s home in Estepona. Ken showed the group around his wide outside terraces which were full of beautiful plants and shrubs. Ken, it seems, is the gardener and what a good job he makes of it. Such a wonderful variety of plants with a good mixture of colours, shown off even more by the sea view in the background. It is always interesting to see what one can achieve within the area available. Usually when so close to the sea, lots of plants suffer but Ken obviously has chosen plants that not only survive but seem to thrive. A further terrace upstairs was also worth viewing. We all had a very interesting morning with some requests for cuttings from Ken’s huge assembly of pots. Surprisingly on this occasion no one seemed to have any problems or needed any advice. The meeting finished with very tasty lunchtime nibbles and drinks. A big thank you to Sally and Ken as we all enjoyed ourselves. Suggestions were put forward for future garden club meetings – i.e. garden centres, the orchid dome, parks for consideration. The next Garden Club meeting will be held in another member’s garden in Estepona on Tuesday May 10th at 11am. Please ask Sandy for maps. Tip of the Month: Peppers and chillies demand lots of sulphur to grow healthily – so when planting them, place two or three unused matches a few inches below the roots. As the plant grows, the roots will extend down towards the matches and feed off the sulphur, producing a bountiful crop. Submitted by Sandy Avis Sunday 10th April - I.C.E. Club At The Palacio - Foreign Residents Day Quite a busy day for our club volunteers, being the only stall serving cups of tea this proved to be very popular as well as serving cups of coffee. A great selection of cakes, some of which again made by club volunteers, almost sold out. The beef or ham rolls were also popular. There were some of these rolls and cakes left over at the end of the day and as these were still quite fresh they were donated to Emaes soup kitchen for distribution to the needy families. A very successful day for the club, many interested persons taking away the club information flyers, well worth making the presence. The total profit on the day amounting to 230€. So well done and many thanks to our numerous volunteers who manned our stall, too numerous to name here but you all know who you are, without whom our presence at this event could not have taken place. Thanks to the cake makers, and those that erected and dismantled the stall. Special thanks to the organiser Sally Holloway who had a very long day. Also special thanks to Brenda, with the help of Bob, for all the shopping, cooking and preparation in advance, many hours spent.
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So this is what the I.C.E. ramblers call a hard walk! Photos by Liz Harris can be seen on web site www.siberme.com
PAST EVENTS Friday 15th April - Computer Group Thanks to Sheila Fox and Vic for the presentation of Windows 10, many members attending. Remember the free download for Windows 10 ends in July.
Tuesday 19th April - Golf Spring Cup Lunch It may have been very wet outside, the Spring Cup completion having been postponed. Not to dampen spirits the lunch went ahead to a jovial and warm atmosphere in the typical Spanish restaurant Venta La Choza. Once again a good menu. excellent service and value for money. So not many prizes to present by Alan on this occasion, just the order of merit, list of winners and golf news on page 29. Thanks to Peter Henry for organising the lunch and the free raffle. Further Spring Cup competition and golf news in next magazine edition. Wednesday 20th April - Ladies And Gents Who Lunch Out Twenty five Juliets made a welcome return to the Pikoteo at La Rada Restaurant Estepona, always a popular destination. Only problem with being inside was the noise (no further comment from the Romeos required). Great choice of menu, nice food served well, what more could you wish for. Thanks to Maggie for the organising. Well the Romeos really suffered with their weekly pocket money allowance. Eighteen members and guests went back to an old favourite Hnos. Infantes on Andalucía Avenue. Very pleasant bar with good service. But the crunch then came ’La Quenta’ ’How Much?’ Look away now you Juliets! It cost us the princely sum of 10€ each for menu del dia! That included 3 course meal, all drinks at the table (and there was a few), bread, coffee and the tip. There was no complaints. Well done Doug for the organising, can you beat that price again? No rise in pocket money expected then!!! BOWLING OUR WAY! We meet Monday mornings at Benavista Bowls Club. It is quite a sociable morning why not come and join us? 9.45am for 10.00 start,16 ends for just 8€ each, includes hire of woods if required. Dress code is predominately white but the critical factor is footwear, shoes must be smooth soled with no ’pimples or crinkles’. The Management at Benavista strictly apply this rule. Drinks and food available at the bar. Beginners, novices or your guests are always welcome. We have recently had new bowlers join us and given instruction during the mornings play, we are not serious bowlers, just out for a mornings enjoyment and exercise. Organiser Reg Astle 12
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MAY EVENTS
PLEASE NOTE: TICKET SALES CLOSE 12.30pm ON THURSDAY MORNINGS. CORRECT MONEY PLEASE.
CANCELLED TICKETS MUST FIRST BE REFERRED TO EVENT ORGANISER WHEN BOOKING AN EVENT CURRENT MEMBERSHIP CARDS MUST BE SHOWN
2nd To 4th May -Trip to Feria del Caballo (Horse Fair) Jerez de la Frontera with 2 nights stop at Posada Hotel, San Luca, optional trip to Doñana National Park. Organiser Wilma Keeley. Friday 6th May - Quiz Night- 8.00 for 8.30 pm - Quiz Master Richard Wood Monday 9th May - Member’s Film Night The Lady in the Van, 7.30 for 8.00pm Led by a marvellous performance from Maggie Smith, Lady in the Van wrings poignant, often hilarious insight from its fact-based source material. Tuesday May 10th - Garden Group Meeting The next Garden Club meeting will be held in another member’s garden in Estepona at 11am. Please ask Sandy for maps. Friday 13th May - 2.30pm Afternoon Fashion Show by Elizabeth Couture, With Afternoon Tea 5€ members, 8€ guests, organiser Joan Thompson Sunday 15th May - Songs of praise 4.30 for 5.00pm organiser Joan Thompson 21st, 22nd May I.C.E. Players Wednesday 18th May - Ladies & Gents Who Lunch Out Latest Production Organiser Maggie Whittley An Original Summer Revue Wednesday 25th May Trip to Castellar Zoo www.zoodecastellar.es/english/ 5€ members, 8€ guests See Page 13 The Castellar Zoo, an animal rescue centre, is a private initiative started in 1998, which officially opened in 2002 in order to aid animals which were seized by the authorities. These animals that were the victims of the black market were mistreated and uncared. The purpose of the rescue centre is to provide to these animals better living conditions by the best carers. Several years after its commencement, the centre opened its doors to the public for their enjoyment, but also to increase awareness. Gradually, with economic support, the Castellar Zoo is improving its facilities and installations for the public and animals. The centre offers a second chance for the animals, and to the public an entirely different zoo, where visitors may feed the animals and interact directly with them. Then onto a local restaurant for optional lunch. Organiser Di Hackett Sat. 28th May:- Live country music with the Texas Pearls 7.00 for 7.30pm. American Supper, please bring a plate of finger food. Organiser Tracy Bird. 13€ members, 16€ guests SHOULD YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS FOR ANY EVENT OR ACTIVITY AT YOUR CLUBHOUSE, OR FOR A TRIP WHETHER FOR A DAY OR LONGER PERIOD, PLEASE CONTACT A MEMBER OF THE COMMITTEE. WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT
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The Importance of Tax Planning And Advice By Terry Wayne, Partner, Blevins Franks 952 799 752
terry.wayne@blevinsfranks.com
There are two aspects of effective tax planning: one, understanding the tax regimes that affect you, so you know your tax obligations and how they affect your income and wealth; and two, knowing how to use compliant arrangements to lower your tax liabilities wherever possible. Without suitable tax planning, you are probably paying more tax than necessary, particularly on your invested capital. In the UK in 2016, research from the annual Tax Action campaign by unbiased.co.uk, conducted in partnership with Prudential, found that taxpayers will pay £4.6 billion of unnecessary tax to the taxman this year. Most of this comes from a failure to use pension tax relief, while almost £2 billion will be wasted because people do not moving savings and investments into tax-efficient individual savings accounts (ISAs). Many will also pay more capital gains tax than they need to (up to £208 million from £158 million last year). More than 80% of the people surveyed had not tried to reduce the amount of tax they pay in the past 12 months. The complex rules of inheritance tax make it especially difficult to understand. For example, it is based on domicile rather than residence and most UK nationals remain liable even when living abroad. However, it is often called a ‘voluntary tax’ because there are steps you can take to reduce or avoid this tax for your heirs. It is important to review your tax planning from time to time because regulations change, new opportunities arise, or a specialist adviser could point out opportunities you were not aware of. It is similar with Spanish income and succession taxes. Many expatriates here pay more tax than they need to. They are even more likely to get their tax planning wrong, because it is a foreign tax system. Also, the rules can frequently change, so you need to keep up to date. What was tax efficient in the UK is unlikely to be tax efficient here. You need to look at the local Spanish regime to determine what works, and what would be suitable for your personal circumstances and objectives. Being unfamiliar with the rules means you could end up paying too little tax, or in the wrong country. This could lead to the tax authorities investigating you when they realise you have not been paying the tax due. With do-it-yourself tax planning there is always the risk that you will miss something important, or not realise where tax mitigation opportunities are available. Expert advice is invaluable, especially if you have complex affairs and cross-border interests. “Ever changing tax rules make it easy to see why many people don’t always make full use of the range of allowances on offer… Tax planning is one of the key areas in which a financial adviser can make a difference, both in the short and long term.” Unbiased.co.uk/Prudential To make sure you fully understand how the Spanish tax regime affects you, and that you are aware of all the tax planning opportunities available, you need specialist, personalised advice. To keep in touch with the latest developments in the offshore world, check out the latest news on our website www.blevinsfranks.com 16
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CURTAIN & BEDDING CO
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El Rincon Toscano Restaurant Pizzeria Wine Bar Calle Real 22-26, Estepona Telephone 952 795 914 Roberto 648 263 369 or Yuri 610 336 547 rincontoscano@hotmail.com A little taste of Italy Come and enjoy the excellent cuisine and service provided by Roberto and Yuri Opening hours Lunch every day 1.30 – 4pm Dinner 7pm – midnight Closed on Wednesdays 19
May 2016 DATE DAY 1 May Sun 2 May Mon 3 May Tue 4 May Wed 5 May Thu 6 May Fri 7 May Sat 8 May Sun 9 May Mon 10 May Tue 11 May Wed
12 May Thu
REGULAR EVENTS
EXTRA EVENTS
12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas 2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class 11.00 am Mahjong, 11.00-1.30pm Bar Open Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.30 pm Canasta Rambling 7.00 for 7.30pm Whist 10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting, 1.00pm Lunch 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge 10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group Rambling 12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas 2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class 11.00 am Mahjong, 11.00-1.30pm Bar Open Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.30 pm Canasta, 7.30pm Games Night 10.30am Rambling 7.00 for 7.30pm Whist 10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting & Open Forum 1.00pm Lunch 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge 10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group
14 May Sat
Rambling
15 May Sun 16 May Mon
12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas 2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class 11.00 am Mahjong, 11.00-1.30pm Bar Open Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.30 pm Canasta Rambling 7.00 for 7.30pm Whist 10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting, 1.00pm Lunch 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge 10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group
18 May Wed 19 May Thu 20 May Fri
Trip to Jerez Horse Fair
8.00pm for 8.30pm Quiz Night
7.30 for 8.00pm Film Night 11.00am Gardening Club 2.30pm Keep Fit 2.00pm Committee Meeting
11.00 am Genealogy Group Fashion Show, Afternoon Tea
13 May Fri
17 May Tue
2.30pm Keep Fit
4.30pm Songs of Praise
2.30 pm Keep Fit 1.30pm Ladies Lunch 1.45pm Gents Lunch
LUNCHES AVAILABLE 1.00PM THURSDAYS, SEE KITCHEN ‘SALES GIRL’ FROM 11.00AM. BOOK EARLY TO RESERVE YOURS. TAKEAWAY MEALS ALSO AVAILABLE 20
21 May Sat
Drama Group Review
22 May Sun
12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas
23 May Mon
2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class 11.00 am Mahjong, 11.00-1.30pm Bar Open Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.30 pm Canasta 7.00 for 7.30pm Whist 10.30am-2.30pm Bar Open 11.30am Weekly Meeting & Lottery 1.00pm Lunch 7.00pm Duplicate Bridge 10.00am - 1.00pm Art Group
24 May Tue 25 May Wed 26 May Thu 27 May Fri
31 May Tue
Trip to Castella Zoo
American Supper and Live Country Music with Texas Pearls
28 May Sat 29 May Sun 30 May Mon
2.30pm Keep Fit
12.30pm-2.30pm Bar Open & Tapas 2.30 - 5.00pm Art Class 11.00 am Mahjong, 11.00-1.30pm Bar Open Spanish Classes Beg 10.30 Adv 11.45 7.30 pm Canasta
2.30pm Keep Fit
EVENT MAY CHANGE, ALWAYS CHECK CLUB HOUSE NOTICE BOARD, ORGANISER OR STOP PRESS ON WEB SITE
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C/ Santa Ana nยบ46 esq. C/ Blas Ortega, 29680 Estepona Tel.+34 952 800 143 Follow Us https://www.facebook.com/ ARGOSOPTICAESTEPONA http://instagram.com/argosoptica http://argosopticaestepon.wix.com/ argosopticaestepona
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EVENTS FOR YOUR DIARY Friday 3rd June - Quiz Night - Quiz Master Doug Proctor Saturday 18th June - Return of The Summer Party at the Popular Restaurant Kokomo. Dinner and Dance. Music by the popular Mandy. Watch this space for further details, organiser Maggie Whittley and the committee. Bus will be available, don’t drink and drive. Thursday 30th June - Club Lunch Out - Watch this space Proposed For June - Trip to Cortes de la Frontera Romeria PLEASE NOTE: During July and August the Bar on a Tuesday will be closed. Thursday 14th July - Last Club Lunch Until After The Summer Break For Catering Staff Tuesday 26th July - Trip to Gibraltar to go on a boat trip to the Dolphins, organiser Sue Potter Thursday 28th July - Club Lunch Out - Watch this space Tuesday 4th October:- Golf Autumn Cup and Lunch Sunday 9th October - Escorted Trip to Portugal 6 days, 5 nights - NOW FULLY BOOKED Organiser Joan Thomson. Day 1 – Estepona to Jerez de los Caballeros Free time for dinner. Hotel Los Templarios in Jerez de los Caballeros www.hotellostemplarios.net Day 2 – Towards Lisbon Free time for dinner. Hotel Holiday Inn Liberdade in Lisbon www.holidayinn.com/Lisbon Day 3 – Lisbon, city of discoveries Free time for dinner. Hotel Holiday Inn Liberdade in Lisbon www.holidayinn.com/Lisbon Day 4 – Towards el Algarve Dinner is included at our hotel. Hotel Baia Cristal in Carvoeiro (Algarve) www.baiacristal.com/en/ Day 5 – Lagos, Cape St. Vincent and Sagres. Dinner at our hotel on the Algarve. Hotel Baia Cristal in Carvoeiro (Algarve) www.baiacristal.com/en/ Day 6 – Homeward bound via Tavira. I.C.E. organiser Joan Thompson, tour guide Danny Rae Mathias
The included visits: Jerez de los Caballeros: Guided tour of the historic quarter Monsaraz: Walk around the town and views Evora: Free time for lunch in the historic centre Lisbon: Panoramic tour with an official guide Pasteis de Belem with custard cake and drink (cost included) Monasterio Jeronimos visit (cost included) Boat trip on the Tagus river (cost included0 Algarve: Silves Moorish Castle (cost included), Historic centre of Lagos Cabo San Vicente, Coastal port of Sagres, Seaside town of Tavira Proposed for November - Pre Christmas Shopping Trip to Gibraltar Time for shopping, 10 pin bowling, visit the cinema, for the very brave ice skating, or have a relaxing lunch somewhere around the marina. Looking forward to 2017 Yes That’s Right 2017 Proposed Holiday Trip To Lake Garda, Italy Should you have suggestions for any event or activity at your clubhouse, or for a trip whether for a day or longer period, please contact a member of the committee. WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT
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VPN If you are a Sky subscriber and have an Internet Connection (fast speed not necessary) then you can enjoy the benefits of On Demand. On Demand is available to all Sky Subscribers with a Sky HD Box in the UK, however to take advantage of this here in Spain you will need a VPN Router.
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If you have poor or no internet then you can access BBC, ITV & Channel 4 with this system. Utilise your existing Sky Dish, which will need to be re-aligned to the new satellite, or have another smaller dish installed if you want to continue watching your remaining Sky channels.
For a friendly chat to see which UK TV Solution is best for you Call Hilary on 951 893481/680837169 uktvsolutions.es@gmail.com
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'The Golf Society Spring Cup' (other wise known as a bit of a water hazard!) Unfortunately, due to bad weather, this year’s Spring Cup had to be postponed until 26th April. A full report will appear in next month’s magazine. 'The D & D Order of Merit' This is a competition based upon the best score cards recorded at our twice weekly Roll-Up at Casares Costa Golf Club during the year between Spring Cups. Our 2015/16 Champion with 364points is Stephen McMurtry. 2nd Jackie McMurtry with 353 points and in 3rd place Coen Noordendorp with 332 points. Congratulation to all. May 'Away-Day' On the 18th we are playing Los Arqueros Golf and Country Club. The first course on the Costa del Sol to be designed by Severiano 'Sevi' Ballesteros Sota. The green fee is 51€ including a shared buggy and the first tee off time is 11.00. So not to early for you late risers!!! If you would like to play please let me know now as tee times need to be booked. June & July 'Away-Days' We are off again to La Cala Golf resort to play the second and third of the three courses. On June 22nd. we play Campo Asia and on the 20th. July Campo America. Both have green fees of 42€ including shared buggy and a light breakfast. This is excellent value so book early. The 1st. tee time will be 10.00 on both dates. 'Casares Costa Golf Club Roll-Up’. We play a twice weekly 'Roll-Up' stableford competition on Tuesdays and Fridays at Casares Golf Club where our members benefit from discounted green fees. The tee off time varies a little during the year and is currently 8.30am. Please arrive between 8.00 and 8.15. All levels are welcome and we often have as many as 12 or more taking part. It is all very light hearted, (in other words 'Cut Throat’) and it is worth putting your sense of humour in the bag! Our annual 'Order of Merit' trophy is awarded to the player with the best ten cards from these 'Roll-Ups' . Keep your eye on the club magazine and the web site for details of all activities. If you would like to become involved, contribute or comment please contact me: Alan Davis . Golf Organiser. Tel: 952897670. Mob: 699712804. e-mail: alanandsue_hq@yahoo.co.uk I.C.E. Members were at risk of LOSING THEIR SPIRITS Yes the shelving in the club office was at risk of collapsing with the result of all spare bar stock of sprits smashing onto the floor. Resulting in deep depression of members, and Ted our treasurer having a breakdown (nothing new there then!) So with the approval of your committee new strong and sturdy shelving was purchased. So on Monday 18th April, thanks to Mac, Mike and Rob, for completing the fitting of new shelving in the Club office/bar stockroom. 29
Vic Loughran
Peter Dowd
Matters
First the bad news: Google has announced that w.e.f. 15th March 2016 it is no longer supporting Picasa. This does not mean that you cannot continue to use it for the foreseeable future but there will be no further updates or enhancements. It is being replaced by Google Photos which basically offers on-line storage and editing of your photos. Google Photos can be accessed at www.photos.google.com. More about this in the months to come. Clearing the Cache (cont.) Last month we dealt with methods of clearing the cache in a range of PC internet browsers. We now turn our attention to tablets and phones. iPad and iPhone To clear the cache on your iPad, take the following steps. These also work on an iPhone: In the Settings app, tap Safari, and you will see options to Clear History and Clear Cookies and Data. You can use these options as a first step in cleaning up your Safari browser.
You can use these options as a first step in cleaning up your Safari browser. Doing this won’t clear all of your cache, however. To clear the cache fully, within the Settings app, tap Safari > Advanced > Website Data. Tap Remove All Website Data to clear the cache.
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Android Phones (OS 4 Kitkat) To start, pop open your phone’s Settings app. Scroll down and tap Apps under the Device heading. From there, find the app that’s experiencing problems—you may need to swipe left or right to either the Downloaded, Running, or All sections—and tap on it. Once you do that, you’ll be taken to an “app info” screen that provides some technical details including the app’s version number and how much storage space it eats up. Scroll down to the Cache section, then tap Clear cache.
Android 5 and Later Lollipop and Marshmallow Open the Settings menu. Navigate down to Apps. Once in there, click on an application. You’ll now see a list that gives you information about the app, including Storage, Permissions, Memory Use, and more. These are all clickable items. You’ll want to click on Storage. You should now clearly see the Clear Data and Clear Cache buttons for the application.
OFFER OF FREE UPGRADE ENDS JULY
WINDOWS 10
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Android Tablets Head to the Apps page in Settings and tap through to an individual app page — you can see how much temporary app data is stored under the Cache heading. To get rid of it tap on the Clear Cache button.
Last month we explained how to delete the cache in a number of popular browsers. Some browsers also allow this to be done automatically on exit. Mozilla Firefox Firefox has the built-in ability to clear all your private data when you close it – no extensions required. To get started, open the Firefox menu (3 Bars – top right) and select Options. Select the Privacy icon and choose “Use custom settings for history.” Enable the “Clear history when Firefox closes” check box. To control which types of private data Firefox automatically clears, click the Settings button and choose the types of private data you don’t want.
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Internet Explorer Internet Explorer has the built-in ability to clear its private data when you close it, too. Click the gear icon (top right) and select Internet options to get started. On the General tab, enable the Delete browsing history on exit option. Click the Delete button to customize which types of data Internet Explorer will clear. You may want to uncheck “Preserve Favourites website data” or Internet Explorer will keep cookies and cache files for websites you have saved as favourites.
Click the Delete button when you are done. Internet Explorer will immediately clear your private data and then clear it each time you close your browser. There is no facility in Safari or Chrome to delete the cache on exit. If you have any questions or suggested topics for future editions, please email us: vicloughran@siberme.com or peterdowd@siberme.com DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND FROM COMPUTER GROUP MEMBERS NEXT GROUP PRESENTATION AND DISCUSSION WILL BE HELD ON FRIDAY 17th JUNE AT 11AM, ALL ARE WELCOME, SEE YOU THERE. FORMAT: SAFETY & SECURITY ASPECTS USING 33
Janet, Michael and Chris Poole Poole rent-a-car Fair fuel policy. Good rates. NO queues. We will meet you at Malaga or Gibraltar Airport. INDOOR parking at Malaga Airport 6€ a day / 4 weeks 110€ / 8 weeks 210€ / Full year 1,000€ (minimum charge 40€) Car Dent Removal Removed from bodywork at less than half the cost of normal repairs when the paint is not damaged. Ideal for dents caused by other car doors, golf balls, etc. Tel/Fax: 952 88 55 89 Mobile: 619 44 66 88 Email: poolerentacar@hotmail.com www.poolerentacar.com
Anglican Church of Costa del Sol West SAN PEDRO at 10-00am Every Sunday we hold an Anglican Service of Holy Communion in the Hall adjoining the Parroquia Virgen del Rocio (near McDonalds). SOTOGRANDE at 12-00pm Every 2nd and 4th Sunday we hold an Anglican Service of Holy Communion in La Iglesia Sra.de la Merced, the ‘Big Church’. 1st and 3rd Sundays are Methodist Worship services. You will receive a very warm welcome at our Churches, and children are particularly encouraged to join in the Sunday school fun activities. We conduct Wedding Blessings, Baptisms, Funeral services, and undertake pastoral care visits to the sick or needy. Coffee Morning each Tuesday in Sabinillas from 11-00am, at the Cafe/Bar Tahona de Chana situated at the eastern end of Calle Duquesa de Arcos. Our newly appointed Chaplain, Adrian Low, is becoming a well known character in our community, and is described as ‘a breath of fresh air’. So do come and meet him together with his wife Joanna. For further details about us, please contact Adrian on 952 808 605 or, Church Wardens:- San Pedro - Roger Richards on 952 891 765 Sotogrande - Ros Burns on 956 795 178 Visit our website for even more information: - www.costachurch.com 34
Word Grid: Find the 9 lettered word and see how many words of 4 letters and over you can make using the centre letter in all words and each letter only once.
LEISURE PAGE ANSWERS PAGE 38
FORWARDS & BACKWARDS. The clues below are for two words – the first being reversed to make the second. Work out what the two words are ? E.G. A celestial body of rodents = STAR / RATS. 1 Vegetable found along the base of a ship. 2 Achieved victory at this moment. 3 Satan was not dead. 4 To drive or force away someone with this disease. 5 Prima Donna is keen. 6 Prepare for publication the rise and fall of the sea. 7 A bar used to open is riotously festive. 8 The watch would abate, slacken or cancel. 9 Dried out stalks become growths on the skin. 10 Frost Muslim ruler. Submitted by Terry Clover 11 Royal beer.
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Brain Teaser: Two trains are on the same track 100 km apart heading towards one another, each at a speed of 50 km/h. A fly, starting out at the front of one train, flies towards the other at a speed of 75 km/h. Upon reaching the other train, the fly turns around and continues towards the first train. How many kilometres does the fly travel before getting squashed in the collision of the two trains? Answer in next edition Last Months Brain Teaser: In the days before watches were invented, clocks were valuable possessions. A man living in a remote area had one that kept very good time. However, he woke up one day to find it had stopped, so he had no idea of the correct time. He decided to walk to the next valley to visit his friend, who also had a clock that kept good time. He chatted with his friend for a while and then made his way home. He didn’t know the exact length of the journey before he started. How did he manage to set his clock correctly when he got home? Why not have another go, answer below. BrainTeasers submitted by Bryan Greetham
Before he left for his friend’s the man wound up his clock and set it at a particular time. He then noted the time of his arrival at his friend’s and the time of his departure. When he got home he noted the time of his arrival. Throughout the journey he made sure that he walked at the same pace. The time that had elapsed on his own clock represented the time it took to complete the two journeys there and back, plus the length of time that he stayed with his friend. As he knew the time that he had spent with his friend, he subtracted this from the time that had elapsed for the whole journey and then divided this in half. This gave him the time for his return journey from his friend’s house to his own. He then added this to the exact time he had left his friend’s house, so that he could set his own clock at the right time. To illustrate this, let’s say he set his own clock at 10 am before he left his house. When he arrived at his friend’s house his friend’s clock was showing 3 pm and when he left it was showing 5 pm. Then, when he got home his clock was showing 2 pm. So the entire journey had taken four hours. As he had spent two hours with his friend, this meant that his journey back had taken an hour. Therefore, the correct time was 6 pm – the time that was showing on his friend’s clock before he left, 5 pm, plus the hour for the journey back. 35
GENERAL INFORMATION Coach trips: See trip information for times. Please ensure that you sit in the seat numbered on your ticket. We regret that we cannot stop at any other point unless agreed with the organiser, to pick up or put down. The organiser reserves the right to refuse to include any member they feel is not sufficiently able-bodied to follow the itinerary. Members are responsible for own travel insurance. Buying your ticket: Please produce your membership card together with the correct money. Have prepared your choice of menu if applicable. Final ticket booking: All tickets must be booked and paid for on or before the last Thursday coffee morning before the event. Late phone bookings cannot be accepted. Members are advised to attend the last Thursday before a trip in case there are any last minute alterations. Refunds: Cannot be given for either deposits or tickets, unless the organiser is notified in time, always providing the trip is full and a replacement can be found from the waiting list. Tickets are not transferable to other members without authorisation of the organiser. Tips: Included in the cost of coach travel and restaurants, but not for hotels. Smoking: The smoking of tobacco, electronic cigarettes and any other substance is not be permitted anywhere in or on the premises of The International Club of Estepona, Bahia Dorada. Dogs: Dogs are not allowed inside the clubhouse. They are permitted on the lower terrace but only when they are under the owner’s control by being attached to a lead which is held by the owner or attached to one of the hooks on the wall which are provided for that purpose. Parking: When visiting the club please park considerately between white lines and never on yellow lines.
ACTIVITY ORGANISERS Art Group Regina Stall Art Class Mondays Ronnie Lilly Bowls Reg Astle Bridge…”Duplicate” Tim Taminiau Canasta Nigel Nevshehir Club Calendar Co-ordinator Sue Potter Posters & Tickets Vic Loughran Film Night Sue Potter Games Night Terry Clover Gardening Group Sandy Avis Genealogy Dave Hackett Golf Organiser Alan Davis ICE Players (Drama Group) Margaret Hall Keep Fit Sue Jenkins-Better Ladies’ Book Club Krista Carter Ladies’ Lunches Margaret Whittley Librarian Peter Galloway Librarian Assistant Tracy Bird Lottery Organiser Mavis Tolfree Quiz Night, Songs of Praise, Art Class Joan Thompson Rambling Sue Potter Spanish Lessons Martin Holmes Ticket Sales Joanna Mitchell Ticket Sales, Advertising Manager Jackie Simmonds Ticket Sales Patricia Smith Videos Roger Richards Whist Ian & Lin Ingram
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663 557 738
689 457 410 637 148 660 637 148 660 692 866 200 636 326 599 699 712 804 634 273 194 696 259 644 634 328 114 616 199 661 653 488 030 637 148 660 607 963 254 652 798 107 677 656 319 669 661 660
952 800 875 952 800 264 951 277 113 952 791 449 952 892 386 952 886 772 952 892 386 951 974 771 952 897 309 952 893 965 952 897 670 952 806 922 951 277 240 951 972 577 952 794 270 952 805 407 952 792 454 952 804 799 952 892 386 952 892 163 952 897 977 952 797 921 951 276 690 952 891 765 952 796 150
CLUB COMMITTEE PRESIDENT Sue Potter 637 148 660 VICE-PRESIDENT Joan Thompson 653 488 030 SECRETARY Margaret Whittley 634 328 114 TREASURER Ted Lunniss 608 601 230 MAGAZINE EDITOR Terry Smith 677 656 319 CATERING MANAGER Brenda Taylor 722 650 449 MEMBER (Housekeeper) Diane Hackett 626 080 829 MEMBER (Welfare, Estepona) Julie Wood 639 542 387 MEMBER (Membership secretary) Tracy Bird 616 199 661 MEMBER Wilma Keeley 679 138 952 MEMBER (Publicity) Sally Holloway 678 897 275 NON COMMITTEE POSTS LOCAL KEY HOLDER Nigel Nevshehir 689 457 410 (If available) MAINTENANCE MANAGER Rob Potter 671 725 243 BAR MANAGER Mac McIntyre 610 047 228 ASST BAR MANAGER Mick Whittley 627 143 345 AUDITOR Ron Pegrum 680 718 990 ASST. TREASURER Vic Loughran ASST MEMBER SECRETARY Sheila Fox 671 232 906
952 892 386 952 804 799 951 972 577 951 276 690 952 805 739 952 893 965 952 913 174 952 805 407 951 170 874 952 808 992 952 791 449 952 892 386 952 808 556 951 972 577 952 891 175 952 886 772 952 808 992
WELFARE: Members requested to notify our welfare officer, Julie Wood if they know of any member who is ill. 952 913 174 , 639 542 387, email: woodiesvine@gmail.com HOSTESS : Introduce new members : - Maureen Baldwin-Winckle 952 791 812
MAGAZINE ADVERTISING RATES AS FROM 1ST JANUARY 2011 For adverts presented in desired layout, includes inclusion on our web site with links to your site if applicable. Classified Ads: Members Only, Free Quarter page - 6€ per month - colour 7€ per month Half page - 12€ per month- colour 14€ per month Full page - 24€ per month - colour 28€ per month (Discounts:- for 6 months 10%, and for 12 months 20%) PLEASE NOTE: Colour is only available to inside front and rear cover pages and rear cover, also adjacent to centre pages. Advertising fees to be prepaid before the 20th of the month to:Jackie Simmonds, Advertising Manager, Tel. 952 797 921 or 652 798 107 Copy to be in before the 15th of any month, for inclusion in the following month’s issue. Copy can be e-mailed to: - terrysmith@siberme.com ICE (Siberme) accepts no responsibility for contents of any advertisement appearing. INTERNATIONAL CLUB OF ESTEPONA (Siberme) I.C.E. Clubhouse, Urbanisation Bahia Dorada, Entrada 5, at Km. 149, A 7, Estepona 29680 Malaga
Clubhouse: Telephone 952 802 549 ICE Web Site: www.siberme.com Email: clubsiberme@hotmail.com 37
JUST FOR A SMILE Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night Holmes wakes his companion and says: ‘Watson look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce.’ Watson says: ‘I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.’ Holmes replies: ‘Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent.’ Submitted by Bryan Greetham Engineer in Hell An Engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?" Satan says, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! " Submitted Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him." by Bob God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Culley "Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?" During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor. Jokes submitted by "No! No! Don't remove your clothes... Just stick out your tongue!" Joanna Mitchell Dinner party My wife hosted a dinner party for all our friends, some of whom we hadn't seen for ages and everyone was encouraged to bring their children along as well.. All throughout dinner my wife's best friend's four-year-old granddaughter stared at me as I sat opposite her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring. I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, and patted my hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at me. Finally I asked her, "Why are you staring at me?" Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour, and the table SUDOKU SOLUTION went quiet, waiting for her response. The little girl said, "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a fish." QUIZ ANSWERS
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Word grid: TEMPERATE
Forwards Backwards Answers :1 LEEK / KEEL. 2 WON / NOW. 3 DEVIL / LIVED. 4 REPEL / LEPER. 5 DIVA / AVID. 6 EDIT / TIDE. 7 LEVER / REVEL. 8 TIMER / REMIT 9 STRAW / WARTS. 10 RIME / EMIR 11 REGAL / LAGER
Workshop open making jewellery, repairs and commissions all at better prices. Home visits for private viewings jewellery, valuations, commissions. Call 647 154 077 chirine@ayoubijewellery.com
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Member of
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