7 minute read
Lady Bird: Redefining the Love Story in the Coming of Age Genre
Written by Michelle Cruz
Lady Bird: “I just wish that you liked me.” Marion: “Of course I love you.” Lady Bird: “But do you like me?”
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Coming of age films typically represent the¬ transitional stage from a young person’s childhood into their adulthood. In most coming of age films focused on teenaged girls, this is conveyed through the experience of a first romantic love which leads to the “losing” of virginity to gain a sense of enlightenment. Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird revises this trope. Instead, the film prioritizes the strained relationship between Lady Bird and her mother, Marion, to uncover an alternative love that is arguably as essential as romantic love. While Lady Bird experiences romantic love and heartbreak twice, the declaration of the love she has for her mother over the phone at the end of the narrative is what officially allows for her to come of age.
Lady Bird is set in the year 2002 – post 9/11. This timeframe serves as the “design principle” as the film aligns the nation’s attempt to reconstruct its collective identity after the previous year’s tragedy with Lady Bird as she is trying to come to terms with her own identity. The global financial crisis caused by this historical event is mirrored in the film through Lady Bird and Marion’s financial conflictual dynamic. Additionally, the setting propels the narrative in its climax; when Marion finds out that Lady Bird applied and got accepted into NYU, Lady Bird infers to her mother that she was most likely waitlisted because not as many people applied due to 9/11. In other words, the film’s narrative structure relies on the effects of this American historical event to relay this coming of age story and tension between mother and daughter.
Lady Bird’s cast represents one of the ways that she rebels against her mother. After a heated argument in the car, LadyBird opens the door and abruptly throws herself onto the road while her mother screams. The writing of “Fuck you, Mom,”(03:21-03:23) on her cast signifies her bodily autonomous defiance against her mother, who harshly tells her that she will only be able to get into a city college because of her lack of work ethic and that her Lady Bird name is ridiculous, an insult to Lady Bird’s attempt at reconstructing her identity. This scene foregrounds this complicated mother and daughter relationship by showcasing how tenuous Lady Bird and Marion are together and establishes Lady Bird’s character motivation; her desire for physical and emotional emancipation from her hometown Sacramento, but more importantly, from her mother.
Although Lady Bird says this to Kyle when he brings up the gravity of the Iraq War after she learns that he lied to her about never having had sex before, this dialogue could be applied to Lady Bird and Marion’s relationship. The film often situates Lady Bird and Marion’s narratives side by side to compare their generational differences. After Lady Bird has her first kiss with Danny, she arrives home and finds her parents struggling with finances. In the following scene, Lady Bird enters her room and Marion criticizes her for not keeping her room clean. While Lady Bird cannot understand why her mother is upset with her for this, Marion reveals that her mother was an abusive alcoholic. This fact enhances Marion’s character as it illustrates her inability to compassionately communicate with her daughter at times because of her experience with trauma which she inherited from her own mother. Moreover, Lady Bird exhibits this similar issue when she does not tell Marion about her plan to attend NYU, creating a familial cycle between these women with intergenerational trauma.
This quote refers to how airport security became much more enforced in America after the terrorist attacks, but this dialogue also symbolizes Lady Bird and Marion’s dynamic shift in their relationship after Lady Bird decides to move to New York. Over the course of the film, Lady Bird wedges a metaphorical gate between her mother and herself, but it is now Marion who puts up her guard and no longer trusts her daughter. Once she drives through Sacramento, Marion reaches a turning point in her character development and realizes that her disagreements with Lady Bird are trivial in comparison to being absent while her daughter officially steps into her independence. Additionally, this scene parallels the film’s final monologue about driving in Sacramento, reconciling their mother and daughter relationship through their self-discoveryjourney in the city that bonds them.
Lady Bird defies the Roman Catholic religion in many instances throughout the film; most notably, through adopting the self-given name “Lady Bird” instead of using her birth and baptized name, Christine. According to The Free Dictionary by Farlex, the name “Christine” means “follower of Christ.” Lady Bird rejecting her name is significant as she renounces her belief in God or in a greater authority such as her mother who named her.
In the post-graduation scene, Marion showcases her resentment towards Lady Bird’s dissatisfaction with what she has been able to provide her through her refusal to communicate. The one-sided dialogue in this scene allows for Lady Bird to display her vulnerability, finally taking accountability for her ungrateful attitude. This moment allows Lady Bird to recognize her own flaw of selfishness and thus recognize that she needs the love or attention that her mother has always given her. This calls back to the earlier scene with Sister Sarah Joan, wherein she states, “Don’t you think they are the same thing? Love and attention?” (01:26:23-01:06:28). This inspires Lady Bird to rectify her relationship with her mother because she is afraid Marion no longer loves her. It is through this scene that Lady Bird discovers that the word “love” is stronger than the word “like” which in a previous scene, she shows her discontentment with her mother when Marion says that she “loves” her, but does not say that she “likes” her.
In spite of what Lady Bird believes Marion and Sacramento both lack – economic wealth and culture – the film also shows that she takes for granted what they do have to offer her. When she is hospitalized in New York and sees a mother and her child in a bed across from her, she fully comes to understand the absence of her past in Sacramento. This scene also contrasts with the beginning of the film when Lady Bird injures herself because now her mother can no longer be there for her. This scene propels Lady Bird to call her mother in the final scene to tell her that she loves her; emphasizing the film’s central theme of love. She calls herself by her birth name, Christine, over the phone to further solidify the bond that she desires with her mother. While Christine and Marion’s personalities do not change to the extent where they completely see eye-to-eye on every matter, the film offers the moral lesson that these two characters can love each other despite their flaws. The film ends with Christine finally coming of age.
The film promotes the message of unconditional love. The setting of post 9/11 influences the film’s trajectory and parallels the evolving conflictual relationship between Lady Bird and Marion, suggesting that reparations between people are possible in America’s post 9/11 society. Ultimately, Lady Bird redefines what a love story looks like in the coming of age genre by its fixation on ending the narrative with the comforting idea that Christine and Marion’s mother and daughter relationship will prevail in spite of their different outlooks on life.
Works Cited
Lady Bird. Directed by Greta Gerwig. IAC Films, 2017. Film.
“Christine.” The Free Dictionary by Farlex, Farlex, Inc, https://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Christine+(name).Screenwriters’ Perspectives Vol. 3 No. 1 2022 43
