11, 1991 !,!ARCH
rSSUE2
A VNZ CHOTCEPUBLICATTON
E9@ss@M e*ffi E
ffiR
D ER
BnWARE OF
BomoMmDERs ATJAyf . HEREfT fS. The seeond . t-ssue of the B.F.R. wlth oart of the third lssue on the launehlnq pad. Some s a i d i t c o u l d n t t b e d o n e . f r l { o wa r e y o u qotn* to qet that eolleetion of wannabe wrtters, self deluded artlsts, deaf nusieians, sex naniaes and those other 1ow ltfes you eal1 friends to eome out of thetr durq lndueed, sleohol related illuslons of proliferatlon lonq enouqh to finish somethlnq you eall the Znd issue of fhe Bottom Feeder Reader?rt As we all know erities are long wincteci and full of ideas (tirat they stole from someone else they erltlque.l) of how you ftshorrldtvett done what you already Cict and that what they will never do, but just talk about. T o them I sav tfput tt in wrltlngft, sen.i it to the B.F.R. (address on back Daqe) soare telllng me vour inqenious idsas in person, (unlrss yourre + r , ot h e
buvlng), as we deseend lowest deots in t,his quaenri.re of eonseiousness,
;i;iff::":':}[;:"1::"'". $
we invite
vou to read on
PAUL LUDITG
(nonon)
,-)
There's noneed tofall prey to scavengerc By Ellen Jarncsllbrtin Tln 8lltinnn
*t
They're known as .'bottom feeder.s,' and they're out in foree trying to buy homes from distressed sellers. Not mere bargain bunters, bottom feeders are scavengers and qnrbbers. Bottom feeders are also known as bottom fishers. The terms refer, metaphoricaffy,-io creatures that feed on what falts to the boltom of the sea. In the stock market, a bottom fisher ls an investor who specializes in picking up shares at the lowest-ever price - especiaUi shares of bankrupt or nearly banknrpt c.ompa-_ nies. In real estate, bottom feeders ane a souFee of annoyanee to agents because tUey preseni themselves as legitimate buyers yit, in ttre Iast-analysls, rarely_wind up consummadng a d.eal,.according to Flynn. As a eonsequenoe, there's no commission earned for the'agent, only aggravation and wasted time. "Some of these bottom feeders are terri_ ble. They're tighter tban the bark on the white oak tree. They would out-fumble anyoneat the restaurant when it comes time to paying for the luneh tab."-Flynn jokes.
TmKELLYFIcTOR f\l APPRE5IATfON OF BRIR A FFJ TTIORDS written
byKFLLY KINO OF BE'RS
Howdy fe11ow beer drinkers aad Bottomfeeders, Letrs talk s u ds ! . t^Iell we all know how important beer 1s and how rnueh tt affeets our daily llves. Beer is as Anerlean as apple oie and baseba1l, evsr been to e ball qame and not drtnk anv beer? I sure haven t t. I aorlt rlo anythlng without beer. r retnember n:r flrst- beer when r was f1ve, hr dact gave lt to ne on the Colorario River. f thlnk it was Coors. Beer enters every faeet of our lives frcm blrth to d e a t h . R e n e m b e rt h o s e o l d n u r s e y r h r r m o s l t k e , T h e p r i n c e s s and the Beer Cao, or Goldiloeks and the Three Beers? or how fbout the wlzard of Qz, when they followec the yeIlow beer road? There are so nany advantaqes of beer drinklng: it raises .your self corrfidenee & self esteen, .Elyernotlee how mueh easler it is to approaeh that k1l1lnt ehlelryeebabe and say ttHt, would you llke a been?ff rt releases your inhiblttons. You beeone more bold after a few tal1 boys. It I s also better than hard aleohol euz you donrt get too drlnk too fast. That can be a lrag. And onee you get e few beers in that soeeial qlrl she beqins to loosen uD. Beer rrnakeselrls hornv. You ean do anvthinq with beer vou can ehuq tt, shotqun tt, Dower it rlown, slam it, suek tt dovrn, rou ean olay quarters, nexteali, buzz, thumo her and have ehueqinq eontests. There t s 'notl.ies about 1t, ftReerrt, ,rstranee Brewrt, and ftJesus chrtst Super 3eertt. sonqs like tlr can see Cleariy Now. The Beer rs Gonefr,-]tslptrar*y to 8."",r,,! Remenb.erEart,h, ',^tlnclanci Beer or our all ttme fave, wish you were beer. Thls ts a list of beertsms 4VZ oonder over: Beer eoqeles Beer breath Beer fuek Beer slut Beer diek Doss e beer shlt ln the woods? Beer bel1y Beer ehugeer Free beer Beer fieht Beer John letter Beer Monev
Bcarphorla Wanrabccr Beer run Beer forever lbrk bcer Beer farts Beer lover No beer 4 O11 Beer dlet Becr slob Llght bcer Queers 4 Beers Tears 4 Becrs Bcer flend Beer head Becr wolf Beer butt Becr zornbile Beer thlcf Beer guzzler Becr truek 2 Beer Or Not Z Becr Unbccrablc Becr Party Beer bust Beer danage Beer bozo Beer buzz Happy 2 Beer Here Beer bath Beer nuts Beerless leader Beerless Feeder Ihry rne a beer Glrnne e beer Beer patrol Left-over beer Beerathon Becr band Near beer Beer rd-ot Beer burp Beer sDonge Beer squlrts Bcer foree Cock and Beer Stor:lr Beerosrnlth Beer Sbrlrrg steen Beervtlle Iogl Bcer
Iltts EffE FEEDEREf,TE,LrVE FRCI| THE RII{I{IES .O' end . . . frf would }[ke to thank you for thls rnagnlflcent golden dlldotl ... ffthe slnger of Falth No }lorc and ![r. Erngle. ff... - If rn sort of hlgh rLght now. I forgot h1s nenâ‚Ź and the feeders herc have no eluc. Fuek a brneh of llghtwelght shlt. Fuek ... fuek ... t{lhls atnlt no fueklng fuek... eoektall party! Fuek ... fuek . .. fuek ... ft ftt s fucklng Guldo Sardueel! ! ! Dontt ya Just 1uv Prlmus?! ! Fcek... feek ... are you thcre?! Ifm stuek at the botton and f eantt get up! ! t ! Llght qr flre . . . Paul you bllther:tng mass. . o and Just for the record, Paul ls anazlngly dmnk,' rilleh ls a ftrst for me. (Feederette 1)
FEEDERETTE 1
o o o o
o o
Beer douche Beer enena Beer dude Beer fesrt, Beer buddy Beer pressure Beer pollutLon Beer Abby Beered out Beerdom Flat beer Beer baek Beer 1n your 6ar Beer slave 99 bottles of beer on thc Beer hell He1l of baer Beer 4 days fmpor.bed beer Generic beer Beer enrd f lost my beer Beerglnlty Becrglr,,e Beer walls Beer faeed Beer abuse Beer shortage Beer bong Kel1y Klng of Beers Wren you t re out of becr, f Beer glutton Beer hog Beer lust Beer stud Thls Beer ts my beer, thls Slave 2 rny beer Red beer L.A. Beer
,
Frft .-< t a
(o'b
.';fuqb walI
An^ay,:^. fl^:
-
t
t m out of
bcar ls your beer
wouldn I t lt be great lf thery deelared 1t a h ollday? Llke fTTMERNATICNAL BEER DAItt! All over the world o"oll" would eel.ebrate Beer Day, masslve street par.t,1eg. th"cv !o wn your grm6 and pick uo your becrs, FREE BEER loR EVERIoNE! Beer parades, naked qlrls Jurnping out of glant beers, flreworks and frec rldes hone 4 everyone. yes, lt would be great but, they donft have a Beer Day yet, so unttl then wo must remember to llve 11fe 2 lts fullest, drlnk wlth gusto and eonslder every day ? be Beer Day. r TNUTTE EI'ERYOT{E TO 58.\D ME THETR MOST WILDESrTBEER SIIORTES F'ORA FIJTUREAR TCLE DONffTWORRIABO{n PRCF'ANITI OR FTLTH, WE|'LL pRI}n AMYTHING. R,ESPONSE MATL CF' AT.'IYCOI'ITS}NLq,RGBLT
FEEDERT$.{S
THE tsgMCH FEEDERREADEREATER
When Bottornfeeders hlt they dontt bounee.
- Paul cats Gunml l{or.rns
bottorn
- ftehy Bottornfeeders suek. Bottonfeeders
. . wlthprlde!
. . . have feelers
When theret s no rooln left eo to the bottom.
. . . Fed up wlth
cat
- Crash cats eanncd Plneapple Sllees wlth a eruddy, crust eovered putty . knlfe
too.
at the top,
Bottornfeaders ars always looldng Bottornfeeders ere orally
doesnlt
- John Bottom prefers the Nut tree but thlnks ltt s a long drlve Just to get between hls legs
trp.
ftxated.
Bottonfeeders!
Q:
How rnueh does a durtrp truek full of oasture-drled eow ples welqh?
A:
Iley nan, fuek e buneh of llehtweleht shlt.
ALRIGI{T_ ffOne Tlme! ! ! rr tt ls your drugs. flrrrrs 'Thls " ls an egg on your d"rrg". lfAny questl ons?rl ffYeah fuk, what are these eggs dolng on my,rdrugs?!!!rf "Then cggs betn addlett ed for a long A; tlme and lt wor,tt be ovcr ""sy. tt
ASTRqI,LGICAL FMECAST (For the rest of yorr 1lfe or at least a llttlc ARIBS - Iourrc inpatlcnt,
stop thining.
TAURIIS- Not to bc confused rlth GEMINI - Ego and Altcr
whlls)
get therapy.
Toys-R-Us.
Eqo oursulng personalLty
not. duallty.
cANcER- Yourve wondercd et least oncc why your slgn ls also an lncurablc dlseasc. LEO - Tou nay be a 1lon . I|IRGO - Afrald
Truth ls hard to dlsgulsc.
of hlgh places?
LIBRA - Mek. up your nind. Stop vacJ.llattng.
How 1ow can you go? (Spe11cd Vlrtlgo)
Gct out of the nay.
Iourrc
too firckrn ncllorr.
SCORPfO- With a panls rl.slng a love nest ggshlng e ster ln the bar ls Scorp. sAcrrrARrus - Things arc nruch rorse than you thlnk. Gct rid of that optlralstlc attltude and eaqpgor.ngnennsr. yourl1 get a lot farther 1n thls world if you stcal fron othcrs bcfore they steal frorl you.
A5TROILLMICAT FOR,ECASA( eontlnued) CAPRICffiN- Y o u l r e s o e o o l .
Coolncss.
Blnrp heads.
- A place where sona Bottorafeeders ltvc. AQUARIUI'{ the Age of Aquarium. PrscES - The other watar-flsh tnqe slgn. If e flsh; nale, you look ltke a flsh.
Butt Thls ls
heads. the spawnlng of
youf re fernale, J,ou fuck llke
pEAR,jNNA_'^'{Lqsl s/qR sRcxrqlEq A_ETNGE DEARJENNA: The last several months Itve found mysclf hanglng arounC Roek nr RolI bands havlng so:nethlng to do wlth fL sh. f thlnk f t m hooked. f r ve staye6 up ntght after nteht trylng to flqura tt out. Rtght now lt r s Bottorn Feeders and Fltpper. Soneone reeently gave me a blaek flshnet shlrt, f have torn up flshnets lylng around my bedroom. f stay up real late to wateh Jaeques Cousteau speelals. f notlee flsh wherever they are, 1n magaztnes, books, on T.V., everlrwhere. f eantt help myself, ttts out of eonirol, f cven ""t ftsh whenever f can. Can you ftgure thls out? Iou ere my last hope. Whatrs the porpolse for thts tn rny llfe?
stgned' FLTPPEDqn REDsNAppERHooKEDoN FrsH DEAR R,EDSNAPPEIT: JEI{I{A doesnf t understand your and-ety. ft seems that you ar6 surrounded by sone of the BEST BgtTCf,I FEEDERSavallable! ! And eatLng f:-"tt ( o" any forrn of Bottom Feeders) ls good for you. The more you eat the better. Oh yeah one more thlng, tel1 those guys to C.&$'lK. tlp one tlrne for rne! IT P. S. Jaeques Costeau loves flshnetJtDFiR JENNA: I feel deacl in the water . . . ltke ny ltfe ls running out of materlal. t m havlnq trouble eornlng up rrlth new ldeas, ny self .""""t1veness f ts low and rnv methods of qettlng the ehlcks to flLoo dbwn aren t t worklng. f r vs got the druqs and aleohol flgured out but therei s got to bo: more than that. HELP!
slgned' vAcANcrrN THEFucK DEPARTT'fENI DEAR VACANCf,: Iou my falr flnned frlend are e mess. I know lots of Bottom Feeclerettes who floo for dmgs and aleohol. f think you should get together wlth CRSSSED f N oAKIAND. Iou two rnay be made for eaeh other. f f that doesn r t work you send mo an B X 10 glosql and $ZO.00 el o B.F.R. anrl we | 11 talk.
DEAR ,IEl'lNA: Lately ffvc been satlsfled wlth Just nasturbatlng. Iet fevertshrv pursued by horny Botton Feedors. Besldes having
*fiilbtlil;rli]lr'1"o
frn betng no tlrne for
lost interlst. Amr a eoldfrsh 3r is thls
slgned' KEEPTNG l.fr LEGS cRossEDrN OAKLAND DEARCROSSED: Frlqtdlty Justlfled? llhat are you No dear' rtvc found that thls problern-lsmasturbatlng ,"lth? rour orrn hand? always best solved by flndlng ftrst Bottom Feeder vou ean (p;;i;;iury the rr, and fropplng down' Thls w111 loosen up.your jutees-then *-siorcy_ slea-y-i.r) you ,rrrr u. l,"rrrng ln rrarmor waters agaln' rf you need "ny o!rro""r on"-Lr.-o." help let ne know. an 8 X I0 glossy "r,a $zo.oc t; ;; senc c/o ilr" B.F.R. (Address on Baek page) ccuMEI,IItRI C)l{sgx AND DRUGS by paul Druq also is
Bearers
the past tense of the verb drag.
Draq has a tthlpft eonotatton of somethlnq that 1s not ver? nueh fun. sometlmes drugs w111 draqb*ly -111eqa1 around arra drlve you to clr:lnlcln, Drlnldne and drlvlng are I-our . ""a so ts Ji"e raetng on elty streets. Nor raelng ls not always a rlraq but nhen your heart 1s raelng frorn d,.gs tt t s enouqh to drlve you nuts; alnost an;rwhere. Now Doople eat nuts, screw nuts, and get -""iirn* nuts. Sornettrnesthey qo nuts from dmg s whtch 1s a crag and peoole "tari then a nut rvrrleh ar so means e Derson who ts e?azy. so lf youtre not r"ly popular rfhlp,, tn the sense and youtre at a oarty, wouldnrt you rather be e wallflower ralnut? than e Now lf you were neither lt doesn tt n""""urr1ly -ii"t nean that sone nut on druqs eouldntt drive you up the wa1l. lclnd of drlnkine and drtrrlnq 1s not tlleqal but r" irr"-oro"""" sone wallflorr""- oi walnut rnlght qet run over and have to be drug out of the party whleh would really be a draq. The noral ftrs
of the story?
a d r a g t o b e on cIi1.ug s drlvlng
to get a nut.
BIJGFACrE FLIppE JoHNTSTITILE KNOWN Butterfllest
taste buds are ln thelr
The fenale oreylnq eJaeulate. Apparently, 0.K. But Stt1l -o
feet.
nantts bltes off t.he heaC of her mate to rnake hln poor Bastard. ltf s the only wey hefll get off OI BI.G SEX
Thls bugger lays an eg1, then looks for dung, (shlt) to ro11 thls eqg up ln, she/he (unelear) keeos tt up t t1l tt gets a shlt ball ?l+O tftnes fts orn welght ln onl'.y 24 hours. Hell of a hobby. Sluqs are AC/DC, all belnq (both sexes). To perform the aet of matlng, thay attaeh thenselves to leaves, hangtng from thelr talls, unt11 they decLde whot s who. Wren they deelde that theytll rnate, they ereate e sort of solt bubble bath ln whleh the.y emerse themselves. Twlstlng around eaeh other 1n thts foam bath, they deelde whot s more nueho then sliae off on thelr oun nueus. (Bv the way thatts how slugs get around. )
qRO{ A BOoK0q MqJgEtRAPS EXCE.RryrS by Ted Faleonl
#tJ'
"$n Ft,*tr6E
sPftfNG
*--
'tsfru'â&#x201A;Ź .ffi f f
l FRTSCO-PHOBTA by Dr. Nod r moved to the East Bay from the mlclwest 12 yoers ego. Every ttme f vlstt a eertatn friend from ny home state who now lives in Frlseo she e)rDresses her eonlDlete amazsment as to rrhy anyone would take the trouble of movlnq to Californla and not ltve ln ttthe Cttyrr (fii;;;-i;;r, like other ts-olated prlmitive trlbes that use thelr word" for ,,peoplerr to mean thenselves, use the word frettyff to mean t!:rt eity, -i -iiaf as if no other eity existed 1n the area, of posslbly Lr",o the world. f now e4platn why thl s i annoys il6. }'fT FRTSCO-PHOBTA,ITS MIDhI]BSTERI{ ORTGTNS An e)cplanatlon of -my hatred for san Franetseo rnust begln rrlth the annual arrlval of the county falr ln the rural town 1n whteh r seived the flrst lg years of my l1fe' Before belng allowed to go on the rLdes (*";kip;;;1rr" -""oroyees) sheeD Judelne ) ty nother would warn ne abou{ the frearni esfi i"r.nirrli wlto, she a11eqed, would eheat us ln every lray possible. That thase vlrtually tooth-free hlqh sehool drqo-outs (ryny sportl-ng tatoos rlvallng those of another author for thts.Journal) r,aa assemblecl the Ferris wrreet and tllt-awhirl only made the rlrles nore exeitlnq to me. My slster r s earny raarnlng also lneluded unspeciflecl sexual dangers. ltlhether she followed momr s warnlng 1s none of your bu slness , anr! beyond the semo of thl s roiil. r , of eourse, tqnored mon' and was eheatecl. Prornl sed a large teddy bear lf r would frt ell everyone r'rhere r won ltft r was asked to flrst"go throuqh the mott ons of oaylnq money to throw ba1ls at staeked mllk bottles. After 3 or 4 crorlars r realized r was the traqie vletlra of a seam, and even my eomplatnt to the rntdway management was lnsuffleient to obtatn'the coveted tecldy bear. Years later r found myself ln another torm ln the same state as e graduate student' The town If,as hir' enough to have e subeurture of h";;i;-"rirriui.a"ts, yet srnall enough that the nisft{s of sverrr elass, from a medleal doetor (the town abortionlst, aetually) to, you eu"ssl,t lt, a former eanly, had to attend the same sleazy partles. At "n"t a oarty r beearnernvorved 1n a eonversatlon wlth the aforernentloned earny. some nlsirap ("1"oioii;;;; related, no doubt) had nut h1n on erutches. so wlthout guilt'rras he about [i" carny past that later that nonth when he was beaten senseless wtth his own eruteh by a woman he annoyed at another party, r remained neutral. THE CAzu'lI'S DEFEIISE The earny had arqued that he was smart wh1le the farners anc other rubes he ripped off were stuoicl: He presented tha faet that they ha6 . to work and he dldntt as erridenee that he lras smarber, and {rr"t thts what he Justlfled d1d' He elatmed to have marle enormous amounts of money r!-" eamy (although the house tratler he lived tn told another story). l{ost surprlslng to ne was that hts loathlng for the hieks he eheated ias even qreater than my notherf s hatred of hls 11k' Besides, he added, 1f he dldnft take thelr money, sonebody else would.
I later eoncluded that he desplsed those he exploited as a way of thls erlne by eonvineLng hlrnself that the suekers he rlpped off Justlfylne were subhurnan, Some tlme after this whlle llstenlng to a person frorn Manhattan ridleule people fron New Jersey f nade a eonneetlon. Soeial parasltes (Manhattan eaoltallsts) have to thtnk that the oeople they rlp off (NewJarsey workers) are stupld and deserve to be e4ploited. Thls is also why oeople from San Franeiseo hate and fear Oaklanders, to Justlfy the faet that no one does any real work ln Frlseo. 0f eourse, belng the maJor Clty tt Ls, Frtseo has several levels nles and those who serve theia, none parbleularly lovable.
of car-
FRTSCO-ITESTYPS T, MEGA-CAR}IIES These are the bl1llonaLres and ml1llonalres who go to the opere. They lnherlt.ed thelr money, or invented some glzrno the army uses to k111 oeople, or own a sweat shop 1n the rntdwest but een afford to not llve there. Most of the rest of the paopla ln the Clty are there to wLpe thetr asses. (W" neoole 1n Oak1and, however, are here to unload tha tollet paper from the boat.) For everv mega-carnv, there ere thousands of suekers somewhere, throwlng balls at mllk bottles, loadlnq steel blanks lnto a lathe, ehepping down redwood trees, oF nleking eoffse, Mega-earny attltudes are lnstantly absorbed by aII other restdents of Frlseo. Read Herb Caen for thelr latest anties. They wouldn t t be eauqht dsad ln Oakland . No real work 1s done ln Frlseo. fts two maJor buildlngs, Bank of Anerlea and the Trans-Arnert:a pyrarnld, are monuments to theft. southern paclfie has lts headquarters there. They elalm to have built the rallroads 1n Callfornia, but we lcnow that they were actually bullt by Chlnese laborers. FRISCO-ITES TY?E IT,
SI'ATTONAR,Y CARNTES
Tourism belng Friscot s blggest lndustry, thls elass of earny needs only to stand stlll and let the suekers eome to them fron all over the world to be fleeeed. Thls ls e earnyt s dream eome true. Thls elass exbends from the strio jotnt barkers ln Nort,h Beaeh to the olrners of the l,Iark Hopklns hotel. They oroudly uphold the traditlons and noral values of the earntes of rnv vouth, and they wourdntt be eauqht dead ln oakland.
FRrscO-rrE.s rrPE rrr, sERvANrs cF'THEIImA-cAzu'trES Thls lneludes the vast najord-ty of Friseo resLdents. These are the râ&#x201A;Źstaurant and hotel workers, prostitutes, bartenders, ta>rC drlvers, ete. They elther direetly serve the meqa-carnies, oF serve the people who serve them, ete. down the food chaln. they all dress ln blaek and faney thernselves artlsts of some sort. lhey hooe to be rleh and fanous some day, but know thelr only hope is to marry a mega-earhy, or eateh one dolng somethtng they ean blaekmall thern about. They spend rnost of thelr lneome on rent, (Higtt rents ln Friseo do have one stranqe side effeet. Slnee womenare paid less than nen 1n our sexist soeiety, Frlseo has the gay males whl1e the East Bay has Lesbians. f eount thls as a plus for the East Bay, slnee f have nore need for auto rnechanies than lnterlor deeoretors. ) $tega-earny servants wouldntt be cauqht dead in Oakland unless a passengâ&#x201A;Źr paid them to drlve them there, or s10w sexral resDonse on the part of a ellent results 1n the BARS traln qolng under the bay before the Job ls flnished.
WffiTER W H I SK E R S by KELLY
l<lNG
CtF
GLUW! \
THS sf ORy Cr'_GC'LprtOCKSANp TEE THREE,BgITC,l FgEDERS By KRUSTr KRUSIACEAN Oneeupon a ttme in the not too dlstant future e buneh of fish hung out brv a reef tn a plaee ealled Bottom Feeder Bay. There wer three ln partleular who hung out all the ttrne, and went to all the sane sandbars together. They were Botton Feeder Buddles. Their names w6re Franlde the Flounder, Samrnythe Sturqeon and Catflsh Carl. Frankief s eyes rrore all off to one side, and he looked at you funny and all Pleaso-Ilke. Sanra;rwas all beefy looldng, sort of llke a Wrestlenanta tnqe of dude. Catfish CarI wore a eowboy hat and hls blg droopy whlskers dragged ln the mud. Sornetlmes he wore a ltttIe bltty vest and e spur on hls ta1l. These guys had a hell of a ttne. One tlme they were Just hanglng out as usual, Just trylng to flgure out ffl"ett s go donn and hanq rrlth the eelsff said Frankie, rolllng what to do. , ffHaw hawrf quffawed Carl, ttyou made hls eyeballs around all e?ezy llke. , sueh a fool of yourself last tlme wlth that sltnky llttle sea snake. She had one hand on your dorsal fln and the other ln vour poekat all nlqht. tl trYou should talktf , satd Samn;r. [You t re the one who brlnqs home all the barnaeles, f f you quys would quit trolllng for dreg-rrash, rnaybe you I cl cone home wlth e real eateh, Anyway, letts go up to the ttde pool anrJ have e few hlts off the bubble pLoe before wa suek seun so that wetre good and hunqryrl. rrGoodldea,fl
the others aqreed and the.y were off
fins.
wlth e swish of their
Meanwhlle, a little elarn up on the reef stuek her neek out too far and trl,fhat dellghtful tunble'l into the lalr of the Bottom Feeder Buddies, seum thev have down heret, she thouqht to herself, and tnmeClately began lunehlnq out. Soon she was ful1 and fell asleep in tha nud. After sone tirne the Botton Feeders returned to find e llttle smillng elarn snoczlnq ln the s1uCqe. ffWeIl ain t t that a pretty slght , fr sald Cari rrl,lhat?s your neme eutle? tl tlprrlnq back hl s hat. , ttHhy, they eall me Goldlloeks The little elan awoke with a start. beeause f llve 1n a yellow pateh of seaweed on top of the reeftr, she sa1d, ffbut If ve fallen and f eantt get trptf . rfwell, dontt lrorry sweetle,rr sald Frankle rolllng helo you ,just as soon es wet ve eatan. fl
hls eyes.
rfhl6r 11
rfOh thank You, thank 1routt, satd Goldte, opentng up wlde and showLng sone neek ftnow I donf t have to worry about gettlng hone an;ymore.ff Carl turned to Sarnnyand wlnked a long slow eatflsh what she thtnks, ff he sald wlth a smile.
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sroRY OE_:I0I.QU.QIKS 4ND THB SWEN BotTcF,tFEBDERs
I I
B.F.R. SIAFF A YrTZCHOICEPUBLICATICN EUTTCR: Ludtdq PauI
AESQGATE-EDIrcE:Kclly Klns WRITB$: Don $dth, Seotty D. CCffERAET & L6O: fLtUStRATf OllS;
Jenna fllnkscalas,
KeI[y
Kelly
K'-ng, Ludrrig Paul, Fllpper
John,
Klng of Beers
Ted Faleonl,
Kadlna,
John Botton,
KeILy Klng
TYPfNG: Dtboraah Peters
LAYO(ry:
Ludrrlg Paul
TC SUBMTT TO THE EDITOR,M, RESPONSES ARfICLES, LEtrTERS TO THB B.F.R. MATLTO: BCTTTCH FEBDER, READER, c/ o YltZ Cholcc 1500 Park Avenue, Sulte A3O1 Dneryrllle, CA 9t+508
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