21 Day Complain Free Journey
Day 1 ●
Initially, I thought this project would be a piece of cake seeing as I am usually a quiet and reserved person. Much to my surprise I complained a total of 29 times today. I was utterly stunned at this outcome. I've never thought of myself as being a complainer much less pessimistic. This is proving to be a complete eyeopener for me, making me nervous of how I am ever going to go 21 days without a complaint.
Day 2 ●
I find it hard to believe but I complained more times today than yesterday (30) . I spent the day interning in the rehab center of Frederick Memorial Hospital which is most probably the source of my aggravation. As the week continues I am going to try to watch my thoughts more closely and figure out what's causing me to complain.
Day 3 ●
Today I complained 23 times which is better than yesterday but still not good enough. The main reason for today's complaints was my little brother. Overcoming his incessant behavior is going to take time, but I'm learning to use positive psychology to my advantage By focusing on the my brother's good traits I can overcome his faults and unwanted actions.
Day 4 ●
It has become increasingly apparent that certain friends evoke certain from me. I complained 23 times today as a result of getting caught in a vicious cycle a criticism over things I had no correlation to. Therefore, in order to decrease my number of complaints I am limiting the subject of conversations I have to prevent unnecessary complaining over trivial matters.
Day 5 ●
I went back to the hospital today to continue on with my internship. Following up on the goals that I set last time I went to the hospital, I consciously tried to change my attitude in the way I interacted with the patients. This method of positive psychology seemed to work as I complained 21 times today as opposed to 10 more last time.
Day 6 ●
Today's main struggle was dealing with my parents. Quarreling with them over trivial matters easily racked up complaints today: 24. According to Kohlberg's Three Levels of Morality, as an adolescent, I have conventional morality in which “conformity to social norms is right; nonconformity is wrong” (Meyer and Ciccarelli 276277). This appears to be the cause of most of my complaints as I critique them on moral conduct and other such things (ex. speeding)
Day 7 ●
I complained 22 times today. It's not much less than when I first started, but significant enough. The problem I had today was computer related as my laptop had a hardware problem which the Dell customer service employee provided no help with. While I have managed to control myself from complaining at my friends and family, it is much harder to do so with strangers, especially since, as a society, we are so quick to judge. This is another thing I will have to work on in order to go complaint free.
Week 1 Reflection ●
While I have highlighted the main things I complained about each day, the truth is that I complain about anything and everything. From insignificant things such what happened last night on television to complex issues like what congress has been working on. In order to reduce my number of complaints I need to look beyond the simple occurrences of day to day life and focus on the bigger picture. The main method I used this week to accomplish this was positive psychology, supported by Dr. Pearsall's analysis of Pleasure Principle 1: Don't let Yourself Get Distracted from Delight. Don't let Yourself Get Distracted from Delight.
Week 1 Reflection ●
The point is that “promotional life focus is more sensitive for positive outcomes... when you get focused on the bad stuff, you sort of become distracted from the good stuff and lose your sensitivity for the simple delights in life” (Pearsall 172173). Consequently, as I am reducing the complaints in my life I will be more apt to enjoy the better things in life I would otherwise miss.
Day 8 ●
In an effort to further decrease my complaints, I have started to used applied behavior analysis. It's “a modern from of behavior modification that uses shaping techniques to mold a desired behavior or response” (Meyer and Ciccarelli 190). As I begin to complain less and less I reward myself by going out to see a movie or getting a new game to play. This is proving to be effective as I only complained 14 times today. complained 14 times today
Day 9 ●
Unfortunately, today was a setback as I had 20 complaints. I have come to the realization that video games are huge aggregation for me, especially when playing online with my friends. The only solution I found to solve this problem is to simply limit my time spent playing video games and in accordance limit the number of complaints I have.
Day 10 ●
As I am approaching the age required for a license, I found myself spending the day confronting my parents of the issues of getting a car. This could of easily spiraled out of control, resulting in a huge number of complaints, but I remembered the rewards I set for complaining less and adhered to them. I complained 9 less times than yesterday, a total of 14.
Day 11 ●
Today was an normal day with nothing special planned. I mainly focused on keeping to my goals of complaining less each day through shaping while at the same time remembering the positive psychology I used last week. I managed to only complain 13 times but I am still a long ways off from no complaints.
Day 12 ●
Today my friend who lives next door told be he was moving to Illinois because his dad had to switch jobs. This came as a huge shock, causing me to complain 13 times over the matter. According to Rev. Bowen life changing events are only entitled to a few complaints. Hopefully, through following the goals I set out for myself I will eventually be able to do just that.
Day 13 ●
I went back to the hospital today and have begun to really see the benefits of this experiment. Through the use of positive psychology, work seems to be a much more lively and fast paced place. Also, I am receiving positive reinforcement from my coworkers in the form of praise for changing my behavior, further boosting me to complain less.
Day 14 ●
I spent much of today inside my house alone, so didn't have much to complain about. I only complained 10 times over things I saw when watching the news. When thinking back to how I was on my first day of this project when I complained nearly 3 times this amount, I truly appreciate how much I've changed.
Week 2 Reflection ●
This week I primarily focused on applied behavior analysis, shaping methods, in order to reduce the number of complaints I had. Through this process, I set goals for myself to control my number of complaints and rewarded myself for reaching those goals. Dr CarterScott states, “your journey to fulfillment is propelled forward by the goals you set along the way” (69).
Week 2 Reflection ●
“The promise of the fulfillment of you goals is what creates the dynamic tension that pulls you toward their realization. It works by having you articulate your wishes and desires, by being exceptionally clear and specific, and by being brave enough to attach a date. Without goals you find yourself hoping things will happen” (CarterScott 7071). This shows how important goals to success in my behavior modification.
Day 15 ●
Today I complained a total of 10 times, mostly because my schedule for the upcoming school year arrived in the mail. I was unsatisfied over certain teachers I had for specific classes, but I still kept control over most of my comments. Overall this experiment is proving to be very exhausting
Day 16 ●
Each time I go to the hospital for my internship is proving to be a more pleasurable experience. Before, I used to dread spending the entire day doing work, but now I take pleasure in the small tasks I accomplish. This is the major reason why I only complained twice today, which was very exciting for me.
Day 17 ●
Today was another ordinary day in which I had only 4 complaints. I spent my time focusing on different aspects of my life, being happy for who I am to reinforce my lack of complaining. I am starting to draw away from the rewards of shaping while at the same time continuing to reduce my complaining. This way I won't become dependent on positive reinforcement and will be able to do without.
Day 18 Today was the best day I had during this entire experiment, only complaining once. I felt perfectly tranquil with nothing really bothering me. The effects of the methods (behavior modification, positive psychology) I used to reduce complaining have been highly effective as proven here. The amount of effort put into achieving this feeling was completely worth it.
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Day 19 ●
Today was a continuation of the euphoria I had yesterday. Even though I had a long day working in the hospital, I still only complained twice. I would of never thought at the beginning of this experiment that my behavior would change, or even need to change, this much.
Day 20 ●
I complained more times today than I have been recently, 9 total. This project was the root of most of these complaints as I am struggling to find a way to make a journal and present to the class. Otherwise this experiment seems to be going smoothly as it at long last reaches the final stretch.
Day 21 ●
This is the last day of a long but memorable experiment. I complained 4 times today keeping within my original goal of ending this experiment with no more than 5 complaints. I never knew how hard this could be. All I can say is that this has only strengthened my resolve to improve my life and eventually go complain free. I highly recommend this to your class next year.
Conclusion ●
“The sheer speed of modern life and our extreme futuremindedness can sneak up on us and impoverish our present. Almost every technological advance in recent times has been about doing more and doing it faster. Savor the moment which carves out a domain... to the lost acreage of the present” (Seligman 106107). Through this experiment, I have come to take a deeper look at the ordinary in life and take pleasure in it.
Works Cited CarterScott, Cherie. If Success Is A Game, These Are The Rules. New York: Broadway Books, 2000. Meyer, Glenn, and Saundra Ciccarelli. Psychology (Paperback). Upper Saddle River: Pearson Education, Limited, 2005. Pearsall, Paul. The Beethoven Factor : The New Positive Psychology of Hardiness, Happiness, Healing, and Hope. Boston: Hampton Roads Company, Incorporated, 2003. Seligman, Martin E. Authentic Happiness : Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. New York: Free P, 2002.