Short Story
Wash Day “How are you getting on with that new fella of yours?” Linda had just popped round for coffee at her best friend Debbie’s house. “Great thanks,” Debbie said, stuffing a basket-load of dirty laundry into the washing machine. “He’s coming round for a Valentine’s Day takeaway later, so I’d better get this lot washed, dried and pressed.” “Crikey, he’s not got you doing his washing already?” Linda spluttered. The basket was full of men’s Hawaiian shirts, white chinos and underwear. It all looked brand new and very expensive. “Can’t he do it himself?” “He’s just come out of hospital,” Debbie said. “So I offered to help.” “Why, what’s been wrong with him?” Linda frowned. “He was having a procedure; I didn’t like to ask.” Debbie mouthed the words, “Men’s business.” “So what’s all this, then?” Linda said, holding up a pair of Bermuda shorts. “He likes his designer labels doesn’t he?” “The clothes he had in hospital,” Debbie said. “Yes, he likes his fashion, spends a lot of money on it.” Linda spotted a pair of Lycra swimming trunks. “Are you telling me he wore those in hospital?” “He said they had the heating turned right up,” Debbie said. “Was like the tropics, he said.” Linda frowned. She suspected her friend was being taken for a mug. It sounded more like this new boyfriend had been for a week away in the Mediterranean.
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By Jackie Brewster “And whose is this?” She lifted out a shocking pink boob tube. “That’s mine,” Linda blushed and snatched the item from Linda. “I’ll hand wash that, don’t want to send the whole load pink.” “And did you go and visit him in hospital?” Linda asked casually. “He told me not to. Didn’t want to worry me.” “I’ll bet.” Linda regarded her friend. Debbie had a big heart, and deserved to be happy, but some no-good bloke was taking her for a ride. The doorbell rang and Debbie jumped up to answer it. While she was gone Linda quickly opened the washing machine door, threw in the boob tube and switched the machine on. Let’s see how this charmer liked having all his designer gear turned pink. “Would you look at this!” Debbie returned with a bouquet of red roses. “Aren’t they beautiful?” “Stunning,” Linda remarked as she watched the washing machine quickly fill up with dark pink water. Debbie put the flowers on the draining board and opened a small envelope. “It says ‘Sorry I lied about being in hospital.’” “I knew it!” Linda slapped the table. Debbie looked up from the card, her eyes sparkling. “It says ‘I have a big surprise for you.’ I have to pack my bags because he’s just bought a villa in Spain and we’re flying out tonight.” She stooped to stop the washing machine. “I’d better change this to a quick wash or it’ll never get done in time.” “Ah yes,” Linda sipped her coffee sheepishly, “about that.”
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