The Spaniel Diaries: The continuing adventures of Billy

The Spaniel Diaries

So, here we are back in lockdown. As I write, mum is especially fed up as it means training classes are suspended –“Yay!” I thought, but oh no, she’s just carrying on training us at home, I just humour her as I know exactly what I’m doing, Mav the idiot complies as he likes being a goody two shoes, but as I am far more handsome, in my opinion anyway, I get away with much more, all I have to do is look at mum and she relents!

Mind you, she has been very pleased with me these last few weeks as I have been such a good boy and retrieving well, it’s totally worth it as I get extra biscuits and cuddles, plus I really can’t have that idiot Mav showing me up. That said, he was in the doghouse last week for jumping into a pond and refusing to come out – I have to admit I thought it was hilarious, I thought mum was going to have to go in at one point before the idiot decided to come out!

Mind you I’m not going to forgive her for one thing she has done: she’s bought us dresses! Can you believe it? We have perfectly good fur but she keeps muttering about things called carpets and mud and wet, smelly dogs, I don’t see the problem myself, but oh no, out come the dresses. I look utterly ridiculous, although she thinks I look cute, Mav is equally disgusted with his, I think I shall encourage him to chew both of them up, they were expensive so hopefully she won’t replace them! We also have to wear these hideous light-up collars at night so mum can see This space could be to 9,000 homes for just £45* (or even less with a multi-booking discount) Call: 07762 767084 or email: editor@villagetweet.co.uk us, I must get Mav to chew these up as well, after all I need the cover of darkness to sneak off and roll in fox poo!

We are spending more time indoors now the dark evenings and grotty rain is here; it’s not too bad as we get more toys and chews to keep us occupied, although I have noticed my dinner portion is getting smaller, mum says I mustn’t put on too much weight as it’s bad for my joints, so extra chews and treats mean less dinner. I’ll just nip over to dad when he has a sandwich, I always get something from him, just don’t tell mum, even the fat grass munchers they call horses get more in their dinner bowls than I do, I shall make sure I hang around in the kitchen when mum is cooking, she’s so messy and clumsy she often drops stuff and if I’m quick I get a sneaky snack!

It’s not long until Christmas and the humans decide to drag a whole tree into the house, I’m not allowed sticks or mud but how is it fair they can have a whole tree?! I really hope Santa brings us a steak for Christmas as that is just delicious, I’m sure he’ll come this year as he’s magical and will still be able to bring some cheer to all the little humans! One thing I cannot wait for is the extra food and a long, long Christmas walk! Let’s hope the weather is kind and this weird lockdown goes away so we can all enjoy spending some time with our loved ones, we so need that this year.

Stay safe all until next time. Billy.

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