The Spaniel Diaries: The continuing adventures of Billy

The Spaniel Diaries

Oh, what a month it has been. I knew they were up to something. There was an air of excitement around the place and it’s not cold enough or dark enough for the thing they call Christmas. Then they went and did it – brought a puppy home.

I am not impressed, firstly it has teeth, horrid little pointy puppy needle teeth, I have made it quite plain it is not to be sinking them into me! Infuriatingly Mav is very taken with the thing they have called Goose and I heard they are actually half brothers, well that’s not surprising seeing as they are both idiots. He seems to enjoy galloping around like a manic demon on speed just as I am about to settle down to doing some serious sleeping, and even more annoyingly he gets an extra bowl of food each day, while mine has been cut down as mum thinks I’m too chunky, well when she’s not looking I’ll be helping myself to his extra bowl!

At least the weather is now cooling down a little and mum has been taking us out for some longer walks so we can all get fit again – thankfully the little land shark is just too small to join in at the moment – long may that continue! Although it would be fun to teach him some of my more interesting habits, especially the ones mum doesn’t like, such as rolling in fox poo and hiding under the hay trailer!

The leaves are starting to fall and the evenings are getting darker and I’m absolutely loving the smells now it’s been raining a little,autumn is such a lovely time. We have been spending the evenings tagging along with mum while she picks the little blackberries from the hedges, I like to eat them too – Mav is so stupid as he keeps asking for them and then spits them out, you’d think he would learn by now whether he likes them or not! Mum likes to make them into liquid she calls gin. We are not allowed gin, probably a good thing as I’ve noticed too much of it can make humans go silly and wobbly and apparently they say this stuff is strong! Well they can keep it!

Mum has been busy getting our winter bits and bobs ready, little flashing lights for our collars, I hope I get a blue one again – Mav can have pink, it will suit him and as for Goose I hope they just lock him in a stable! We also have some lovely warm coats for after wet walks too – and I heard mum saying we’ll need them in the house with the price of electricity this winter, I think that’s the stuff that makes everything work… I think we are going to end up being used as canine hot water bottles in the coldest months. Fine by me, I love a good cuddle of an evening. Mum has even dug out a thing she calls a slow cooker – I like that thing as she gives us offcuts of the meat she puts in it! It also makes the house smell lovely with meaty cooking smells I can drift off to.

Until next month, enjoy the last of the sunshine – Billy. Jeannette Douglas