Issue 243

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YORK

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THE UK’S MOST AWARDED STUDENT NEWSPAPER

Tuesday May 20, 2014

ISSUE 243

INSIDE: A BRAND NEW 20-PAGE ARTS & CULTURE PULLOUT

EXCLUSIVE

SUMMER BALL ACTS PAGE 2

THE BEST KEBAB IN YORK - PAGE 19

EXCLUSIVE: ENDS OF YEAR EVENTS ANNOUNCED

Battle of the bands...

Page 5

2 NEWS

OOH LA LA

BY HELENA HORTON

THE CHOIR at the University will be performing the UK’s premiere of a French masterpiece, a rarely heard composition

by Jean Francaix.

Conducted by Robert Hollingworth, a Reader in Music at the University of York, the piece will be one of the highlights of the choir’s ‘Fête française’ programme on Wednesday 21 May at the Sir Jack Lyons Concert Hall.

Hollingworth commented; “This work is an extraordinary testament to the French attitude to food and dining, told through the rich texture of a 12-part choir. It ranges from almost religious advice on how to pace yourself at a meal, what subjects not to talk about, the erotic properties of the black truffle and the deleterious effects of food on the digestion.

“Why the piece has not been performed is not entirely a mystery, given the considerable musical challenges it poses to performers, as well as how to make sense of a piece for a non-French audience, when it is practically a social document of postRevolution French attitudes.

But the music’s good humour, louche musical style and utter Frenchness will, we hope, endear it to our audience.”

Jacques Francaix said: “You cannot escape noticing that Robert Hollingworth’s own ensemble... my father would have been delighted by this astonishing coincidence and also because this profoundly original composition was only performed two or three times during his lifetime.”

The choir has also received interest from BBC Radio 3 programmes The Choir and In Tune.

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Twitter Lizzy: @lizzyroberts93 Chloe: @ChloeGaughan95

YORK VISION Tuesday May 20, 2014

YORK VISION EXCLUSIVE

TWIN ATLANTIC HEADLINE SUMMER BALL

VISION CAN exclusively reveal that the YUSU Summer Ball line up for June 18th will feature MNEK, Twin Atlantic, Kyla La Grange and Vintage Trouble.

MNEK (Ready For Your Love) are currently touring nearly all major UK festivals, including Glastonbury, Latitude and Parklife, while indie-rock Twin Atlantic are featuring at Leeds/ Reading Festival.

For £70 you can get a three course graduation meal along with the racecourse Summer Ball tickets.

£35 will get you the Summer Ball without the meal.

The York Racecourse Ball will feature transport to and from the racecourse, ‘Paparazzi red carpet entrance’, photos, a fun fair, arcade games and inflatables, a silent disco, casinos, and food vans and stalls.

Kallum Taylor is looking forward to the event, responding to Vision’s question, ‘what are you looking forward to most at the Summer Ball?’, with: “The whole thing! It’s always an

absolutely epic event where sometimes there’s almost too much going on!”

Others are not so happy with the line up. Ruby Tennant, a first year Psychology student, responded to the line up saying “it is worse than Live and Loud and Freshers last year!”

Meanwhile, one second year student told Vision “The line up is s***. The band is so old and the whole event is overpriced. I hope Sam McGuire has a better taste in music”

SWAP SHOP SUCCESS

BY LIZZY ROBERTS

TWENTY PERCENT of students at the University of York are now members of the ‘York Uni Swap Shop’ Facebook page with over 3,500 members.

The page allows members to post unwanted items that can be sold to other students who then arrange to meet on campus to exchange money or items.

One student told Vision about their experience using the page to

buy a ukelele.

“It was great! I was browsing all over the internet for a good deal but the postage and packaging was so expensive. When I saw the ukelele on the swap shop page I went for it straight away – easy to pick up from King’s Manor and it felt good knowing my money was going to a fellow student!”

Creator of the page, Madeline Spink, said; “I started it up mostly because I

was sick of having to buy expensive books every year when I knew that there were people in the year above who probably had them cheap. I also moved out of halls and had a load of stuff that I couldn’t get back on the train, so I wanted to sell it but had nowhere to do that.

“So, I thought that it would be cheap, save a lot of waste and I also thought it would be good to have a place where other students could make money from their skills, e.g.

people needing someone to fix their bike for a small fee or to sell jewellery/crafts.

“I think it’s really great that so many other students think it’s a good idea, and having so many people makes it work really well.

Someone put a car on etc. so it’s so much bigger than I thought it would be.”

You can find the page online by searching on Facebook for ‘York Uni Swap Shop’.

Editors: Leon Morris & Helena Horton; Managing Director: Will McCurdy; Deputy Editors: Joonsoo Yi & Callum Shannon; Scene Editors: Charlie Benson & Tim Douglas; Digital Editor: Tom Davies & Jack Western; Photo Editors: Jack Western ; News Editors: Lizzy Roberts & Chloe Gaughan; Deputy News: James Pascoe; Chief News Reporter: Jack Gevertz; Comment Editors: Eliza Gkritsi & Barto Joly de Lotbiniere; Deputy Comment: Joe Williams & Doris Xu; Features Editors: Phillip Adams & George Dabby; Deputy Features: Philip Watson & Zena Jarjis; Lifestyle Editors: Selina Pope; Deputy Lifestyle: Maddi Howell; Sports Editors: Ollie Meakin & Helena Sutcliffe; Deputy Sport: Lorenzo Wong & Jon Barrow; Chief Sub-Editors: Anna Hinchcliffe Opinions expressed in York Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, senior editorial team, membership, or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2014. Printed by Mortons of Horncastle.

YORK VISION Tuesday May 20, 2014

NEW VC STRATEGY

BY LIZZY ROBERTS

A NEW strategy has been announced by the Vice Chancellor of the university, Koen Lamberts.

The strategy, which is due to be implented as part of a five to ten year plan was announced this week at a press conference.

Lamberts announced news that many students who live and study on the Heslington West campus may be glad to hear, stating that the old 1960s and 1970s structures would be replaced.

The university has put in planning permission for a range of commercial buildings as well as accomodation on their Heslington East campus too.

The strategy promises to continue to allow greater investment into sports facilites, YUSU and the GSA as well as the university’s International Foundation.

The strategy also marks the establishment of a number of new institutions at the university including a Postdoctoral Fellowship scheme which guarantees students a four year research course and place at the university as an academic afterwards.

A new ‘Graduate School’ is to be set up to oversee postgraduate programmes alongside a new change of faculty organisation which will be headed by a Dean of Faculty and board of members.

The strategy is also looking into setting up a Distance Learning Sceme. This would infer selecting specific courses to reach groups that otherwise would not be reached.

When Vision spoke to the Vice-Chancellor, he decided it is “time to consider” the changes with regard to huge planning of refurbishment the university.

Mainly the Vice-Chancellors strategy involves a number of changes to the university that will be put in place the coming years.

He added “the universities buildings are designed to have a limited life span and the university has kept them going, but it comes to a point where its simply not, doesn’t make economical and an ecological sense we have to think it’s time to replace them. So that’s a decision you need to make, amd what i say here that it is at least time to reconsider”

NEWS

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ANYONE UP FOR FREE WILLY?

Tuesday May 20, 2014

YORK WEATHER

SEX ADVERT SPARKS FEMINIST OUTRAGE A POSTER put up around campus has sparked controversy because of its provocative message.

The poster, titled ‘Always Pulling Whales’ reads “Like what you see? You could be the whale for me.

“Set my willy free”. Apply early to avoid disappointment” with contact details to follow.

Vision contacted the individual shown on the

24o

BY LIZZY ROBERTS poster who declined to comment.

The message of the poster has come under fire from feminists on campus.

On the poster, President of the University of York Feminists, Alex Wilson, said; “‘Whale’ is a common piece of slang used to mean a fat woman and this poster is a crass and objectifying joke at their expense...

“It plays on the idea that fat women are desperate and will sleep with any man that will have them and that they should be grateful for any sexual attention they get, because they are fat and therefore undesirable and worthless.

“Fat women are not a joke and the idea that they might be considered desirable and worthy of love and affection is not a joke.”

The rugby club has come under criticism from the student body in the past for smashing glasses in campus bar, The Courtyard.

Meanwhile a commenter who wished to remain anonymous stated that; “It’s pretty funny, but yeah, it’s a bit mean and I can see that it’s crossed a line – I mean we’ve all joked about people we’ve got with, but keep it among friends!”

A member of a college football team told Vision their views on the poster; “This is f**king brilliant, he should try Koh Samui on a Friday, its like being on the coastal reef after a drought.”

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WEATHER with LIZZY ROBERTS

EXAM SEASON is clearly heating up in York, as campus reached a steamy 24o last Saturday compared to a mere 14o on the usually sunny island of Ibiza.

Reports suggest a warm front coming in from the Harry Fairhurst could be contributing to this spike in temperature. Sources suggest core temperatures in the JBM have peaked at 40o.

IBIZA

14o

QUEER AGENDA

HALIFAX LGBTQ and welfare have started a poster competition to raise awareness of LGBTQ rights on campus.

The posters will have “provocative” themes, based around the “gay agenda” and “gay conversion” misconceptions, with a retro design.

The campaign is open to the entire University and the posters will be moderated by the Halifax JCRC and the YUSU LGBTQ committee. The winning entry will receive £20 and will be displayed in the Week Eight issue of Vision and around campus.

Jack Chadwick, Halifax LGBTQ convenor, commented; “While the general attitude towards queers is far less hostile nowadays, what often replaces this hostility is a sort of pity – the feeling that lesbian, gay, bi-

BY HELENA HORTON

sexual, and trans people should be tolerated because sexual and gender identities aren’t chosen.

“This isn’t good enough, it reinforces the shame and internal self-hatred that many queers struggle with, as evidenced by the continuously high incidence of mental illness within the community. This campaign is an effort to turn the situation on its head by challenging the negativity of stereotypes attached to queer identities.

“We’ll be parodying so-called ‘gay recruitment’ with a poster competition asking people to submit designs which humorously promote being LGBTQ, and also publishing a satirical flyer to raise awareness of a few current queer political issues.”

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YORK VISION EXCLUSIVE CLAUDIA CASE ONGOING

BY LIZZY ROBERTS THE CASE surrounding the disappearance of Claudia Lawrence five years ago has reopened due to new leads.

Earlier this month, York Vision reported that North Yorkshire Police had discovered new leads in the case, arresting ex-UoY worker, Michael Snelling.

The 59-year-old man used to work in the University’s Biology department and is the first major lead in the past five years for the Police.

A reward of £10,000 is being offered by Crimestoppers to anyone who can give key information.

David Duncan, the University’s Registrar told Vision, “we obviously hope that the Police will be able to bring this long-running case to a successful conclusion in the near future.

“However, North Yorkshire Police have issued clear advice that the media and public should be very careful about what they say about the case while it is still under investigation. We will abide by this advice.”

Kallum Taylor shared similar sentiments saying that the university “stand beside Claudia’s family in their quest for closure and hope that the current investigations are resolved sooner rather than later.”

GET YOUR MONEY BACK

BY LIZZY ROBERTS STUDENTS CAN claim back money from their TV Licence fee if they don’t use the service for 100 days or more.

The scheme may prove extremely popular for first and second year students who will be living off campus from July onwards.

The University breaks for nearly three months during the summer, and many students choose to go home for some or all of the summer.

One second year student commented; “That’s really handy to know; I’ll be away all summer at home and it hardly seems fair to pay for something I won’t use!”

PROJECT D ACTS ANNOUNCED

TWEET-ATREAT

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN

BASSHUNTER IS among this year’s headlining acts at the Project D festival, Vision can announce.

The Swedish Techno DJ, who previously headlined ‘Big D’ in 2011, will be one of the stars of the stage when the Derwent College event kicks off on 9 June.

He will be joined by

garage band Artful Dodger, musician Redlight, electronic group Mausi and a star on chart-toppers Rudimentals’ label Woz. Organisers say that they have tried to reflect the ‘house party’ theme with the acts. A spokesperson told us: “They reflect everything a great house party

should have music-wise, and will get people dancing around Derwent like you’ve never seen. We wanted the music to be fun above all else really.”

Pre-sale and early release tickets have sold out, but main release tickets go on sale today (20 May) and cost £17.50.

TO HELP revision, Halifax currently has ‘Tweet a Treat’ for hard going revisers.

The idea of the event is simply to tweet @halifaxcollege between 6pm-7pm every Monday with your court, house and flat (if appropriate). Those without Twitter can comment on the Halifax College Freshers page with their order.

You can then order a homemade cupcake or brownie for 50p and it is delivered to your door.

If a hard earned break is needed, JJ’s is holding free tea, coffee and hot chocolate breaks between 8pm and 10pm. College Tutors are available for advice and snacks to recharge and de-stress.

“After a very successful spring term we were keen to keep up the momentum of Halifax RAG. We wanted to minimise the effort for students to be involved and remind them that they should still ‘treat’ themselves during revision.”

All money raised goes toward Macmillan Cancer Support with the prevention of having to leave your house, with minimal contact with other people.

1 IN 4 YORK TAKEAWAYS LETHAL

BY JAMES PASCOE A NEW study has found that more than a quarter of takeaway meals may be contaminated with nuts.

North Yorkshire County Council initiated the tests of 47 samples across the county and found that 1 in 4 contained

traces of peanuts.

The major study was launched following the death of a bar manager connected to improper signposting of menu items containing nuts.

Paul Wilson, 38, was found dead at the Oak Tree Inn pub in Helperby, after eating an

Indian takeaway meal from the Indian Garden restaurant, based in Easingwold. The curry dish was found to have contained peanuts, when he had in fact requested a dish containing almonds.

Two men were arrested in connection with the inquiry.

A York student told Vision;

“As a nut allergy sufferer and regular buyer of take-aways this really shocks me.

“To think these people don’t care if people could end up in hospital or be killed is just appalling”.

About one per cent of Britons have peanut allergies, with varying degrees of severity.

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NEWS

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V WHO’S HAVING THE MOST FUN? Tuesday May 20, 2014

YORK

ISION SAYS

Give us some cash or we’ll be forced to ... [REDACTED]

It’s an absolute travesty that societies are under threat from those we feel don’t have the necessary skills to manage them.

We’d love to see an increase in funding – but we are preparing for the inevitable cuts...

e all Where ar s? nt the stude

COMFIER THAN BED?

International COP out

After winning an award for International Status, it is surprising that ISA have so many complaints about YUSU. The confusion over funding between YUSU and the ISA remains to be resolved in a better system of communication.

It still stands that running a network through YUSU, although it means funds it does often add red tape.

We need to support our International students, especially since the Think Tank report showed prejudice is endemic on campus. The ISA was one of the only positive networks named, and it has poor communication with YUSU. This seems to be a common theme with important, prize-winning societies at the moment...

We need to fight for those with mental health issues

We’re not entirely convinced the Union understands the poor scope of mental health provisions provided at this university.

It needs to be said that, whilst awareness of the issues are now more prevalent than ever, the fight still goes on to raise more attention for the undying needs of those with mental health issues.

The Constantine situation is an absolute joke!

It seems that Uni Management cannot organise a piss-up in a University, after recent revelations; a fresher’s committee... of FRESHERS, JCRC members being turfed out of their college, and a ridiculous bail out are the tip of the iceberg here...

BETTER THE FLOOR IS ...

ANYWAY

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NEWS FEATURE

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN

AT THIS time of year, the library is a place of stressed students, endless fights for seats and Sixth Form students.

Currently with not enough space for UoY students themselves, A-Level students are also using the library and taking up valued seats.

This means students are arriving earlier and earlier to get a ‘good’ seat and continually staying later as exams are literally right on top of us.

Those who do arrive later than 9am find themselves searching in the deepest depths of the library just to find the glint of a seat.

Complaints from library students are currently not only aimed at A-Level Students but also 1st years whose examinations do not count as much as other years.

‘Spotted: University of York Library Revived’ and ‘Library Seats’ on Twitter are currently covered

BLOOD, SWEAT & FIRST YEARS Best of Spotted

in banter, both hilarious and outrageous, on the current doings of stressed students who are quite literally forgetting what they are there for. They are also a great procrastination plan, where communally students can comment on the on-goings around them.

Jacob Roth, a second year Physics student, compared the library to “the human manifestation of a Sardine tin” from the pure amount of students living their days in the library.

However the Uni Of York Library is doing its best for students in coping for the capacity of studiers. Staff at the library are currently pointing the way to empty seats upon entrance and the Twitter page is doing its best to communicate any problems students may have, such as squealing toddlers in JBM. Another problem students are facing is sleep. The amount of revision added with lack of sleep means students are falling asleep during revision in the library. The heated weather outside and stress from revision is creating anger for whose who can’t find seats.

#libraryproblems Uni Of York Library @UoYLibrary

If you’re nodding off in the Library, it might be time to go home and sleep. It’s a busy time of year, so take care of yourselves.

Emily Mangles @Emily_Mangles

I’m having to repeat ‘libraries are for everyone’ while breathing deeply, after coming across a group of A level students.

Library Seats @LibrarySeats

When you get to the library too late and have to sit in Harry Fairhurst.. #libraryproblems

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MENTAL HEALTH MELTDOWN GOOD SIGNS

BY HELENA HORTON A PETITION urging the University to provide LFA classes in British Sign Language has reached its goal as of last Saturday.

500 students have signed the petition, which is spearheaded by the Disabled Students’ Network.

The campaigners wrote on the petition group: “British Sign Language is an incredibly important way of communication and is vital to many deaf people who do not wish to use/cannot use hearing aids and cochlear implants. It helps to bridge the gap and ensure full communication.

“We ask the university to ensure that LFA is provided as a course as of the next academic year, free of charge, and providing at the very least a Level 1 qualification in British Sign Language.”

Naomi Barrow, who is spearheading the campaign, said; “When I got here I found that you had to pay for the BSL course and it didn’t provide a proper qualification.”

“I was perplexed as to why it wasn’t an LFA – many other languages are provided, but not sign language, despite the fact that 15, 000 people within the UK use BSL as their main language.

Since then I have been working with Dan Whitmore and the Disabled Students’ Network to encourage the university to make BSL an LFA. “Dan has done a great job at going to meetings and negotiating with people. We have also created a petition which we shared over social media. Hopefully, in about two weeks, we will hear back from the university about their final decision, and BSL will become an LFA in September.”

ANOTHER BODY FOUND

BY LIZZY ROBERTS

ANOTHER BODY has been pulled out of the River Ouse.

A man’s body, yet to be formally identified, has been discovered in the River Ouse.

On Sunday evening, North Yorkshire Police issued a statement saying they have contacted the family of missing York man, Mandeep Ahluwalia.

This marks the fourth body to be found in the river since March.

SHOCKING SURVEY STATS NTAL HEALTH 60% BELIEVE THEIR ME HAS WORSENED SINCE COMING TO UNIVERSITY

Y “NOT 56% OF STUDENTS ICSAES” RV ENOUGH SE IGMA 80% SAY THERE IS A ST YORK AT TH AL HE AROUND MENTAL

BY A SURVEY conducted by Vision has revealed some shocking statistics surrounding mental health at The University of York.

The survey revealed that 60% believe their mental health has worsened since coming to university, whilst at the same time 56% stated that there were “not enough services” that students are aware of to support them.

Mental Health Awareness Week was last week, during which YUSU officers and colleges did next to nothing to promote support services around campus for those who experience mental health issues.

Talking to Vision, YUSU dis-

BY HELENA HORTON

abilities officer Thomas Ron said; “Services in York have been making a concerted effort to improve their publicity, but this survey shows that there is more to be done. I hope that they will look at this survey and redouble their efforts. I am more than happy to work with them on this issue.

“As for raising awareness, we did a Mental Health Awareness Week earlier this year, but following student feedback and a debrief we realised that one awareness week is not the right approach, we prefer a constant fight against the perception of stigma, but we will be holding a major day next term.”

Ron’s position as Disabled Stu-

LIZZY ROBERTS

dents Officer encompasses representing mental health issues under the umbrella of his welfare remit.

George Offer, YUSU’s welfare and communities officer told Vision; “York already offers good services for students suffering from mental ill-health or illness in the form of the Open Door Team and Unity Health.

“Both services do get stretched at times and do receive mixed feedback, but it’s important to remember that discussing mental or emotional health isn’t easy, so try a different doctor or practitioner if you’ve not received the help you need.

“I’ve worked hard to ensure these services are more responsive to students, so if you do have a genu-

ine concern about them please do contact me. I don’t think York needs more services addressing student mental health, but I do think that the capacity of both services needs expanding and more clearly publicising, so that students understand the services more and have a clearer of picture of when and how to access them.”

One student reacted to the survey by saying; “Frankly I didn’t know it was Mental Health Week until I saw this survey! I think the uni has done a poor job at helping people who might be even more vulnerable from exam stress by not advertising support you can get.”

BAILED OUT

STUDENTS CLAIM that the University “had to rely on YUSU” to “bail them out” after “forgetting” that they needed a JCRC or a Student Association to organise the freshers.

A student high up in the Goodricke JCRC has claimed that second years have been “put off” from applying to help organise Freshers’ Week, as “the position is only being held as a ‘Welcome Committee’ rather than a JCRC.” Only 10 people origninally stood for the Welcome Committee, and only five positions were filled. One Goodricke student commented; “The Vice Chair of Services position was not filled. Bear in mind that this committee’s sole purpose is to arrange Fresher’s week... So with a skeleton committee and a vote of 18% of the college membership, which has around 150 people in it, this committee is less than fit for purpose.”

In addition, members of Goodricke, including four members

of the JCRC, were told that because they had applied to live in Goodricke C block next year, they were now members of Constantine College and had to leave their position.

A source from the Goodricke JCRC commented; “Kate Dodd was being horrendous about the four girls leaving the JCRC. They were crying and really upset because they were given no warning and told nothing about potentially leaving the JCRC when they signed up for what they thought was just new accommodation!

“Credit to YUSU and especially our Provost, Jane, who fought until the end to keep them in Goodricke.

That’s what true college spirit is; Kate Dodd knows little of this, sitting in her little office in Hes Hall.”

There has also been discontent amongst other Colleges regarding the amount of funding Constantine is receiving compared to others.

One JCRC member commented; “It is rumoured that their College will be given £15,000 as a start up fund

to help them run Fresher’s/have a JCRC. No other college gets this kind of funding! Vanbrugh have had to scrimp and save, and now because of the Uni’s f*** up in terms of getting a committee together, YUSU and the Constantine College team are having to bail them out.”

Tara Annison, Goodricke JCRC Chair, told Vision; “The setting up of Constantine College JCRC has been less than adequate, the uni has failed to recognise the importance that JCRCs and SAs have in running Fresher’s week, as well as general college life, it’s now really showing and there is immense pressure on the five people on the Constantine committee who have never organised a bar crawl, let alone a full Fresher’s Week!”

George Offer commented; “It’s been over 10 years since a new college was set up. This is a new process for everyone involved, and we worked hard with the University to ensure a student-led committee is in place to work with the College to give all new Constantine students a great

welcome to York this Autumn. There has been a budget allocated to the College to spend this side of summer to make sure the facilities and equipment in Constantine are as good as anywhere else.

“I’m sure you can understand the work that has gone into setting up the College from scratch. Right from the start, the University involved YUSU, and other key stakeholders in decisions regarding the College particularly around Student Representation, with the committee structure as is voted through by Constantine founding members at an open meeting. It will ultimately be up to all Constantine students as to how they are represented once they are resident and there’ll be a College-wide consultation next year to establish how they want to be represented.”

“I am genuinely excited to see the college take shape over the coming months: the new committee has already started work, Cat is doing an excellent job and I’m really looking forward to September when the new community moves in.”

@BoboLoboYork

BoBo.LoBo.York

Email: info@bobolobo.net

Tel: 01904 621900

www.bobolobo.net

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STUDENTS “PISSED OFF” WITH YUSU

W8 FOR IT

BY ANNA HINCHCLIFFE A NEW Freeview channel is set to hit television screens in York by spring 2015.

Last year, Ofcom awarded local media brand One&Other with a 12 year licence to broadcast on Freeview channel 8. Up to 300,000 households and hotels will be able to tune into the channel and view content exclusive to York.

Managing Director and founder of One&Other, Stuart Goulden, described the channel as “great news for the city”. He explained that the content of the channel would be “original, daily programming about life in the city” and will allow people to “have their say on important local issues.”

Based at the University of York, although not run by the university, the channel will create new jobs, as well as providing a great opportunity for Theatre, Film and Television students.

Currently York’s new TV channel is known as The York Channel; however a campaign has been launched to find the channel a new and unique name.

According to the channel’s website, entries should be creative, fresh and relevant to York, and submitted before 5pm on 27 June 2014.

The successful entrant will receive a prize of £1000, as well as the opportunity to work on the channel’s branding. To find out more, or to enter the competition, visit www.myyorkchannel.com.

ISA COMMUNICATIONS BREAKDOWN EXCLUSIVE INFORMATION has revealed to Vision that ISA is “pissed off” with their treatment from YUSU after a breakdown in communication with YUSU. A source told Vision that their funds went down from over £30,000 to under £15,000 after the merger when in reality, funding from YUSU had actually increased.

Massive overspending of the previous committee left the ISA in debt which YUSU bailed them out of.

However, YUSU have not been clear enough in their funding decisions to the wider student body - resulting in funding confusion.

A source told Vision admidst the confusion that they believed the reasons given to the ISA by YUSU for these “tightened” funds were “because

BY HELENA HORTON we were always a separate entity to YUSU like the GSA.” It sparked emotive reactions. our source said; “It was annoying that the general ISA block grant was rolled into the general YUSU grant for societies, so we were given less money and some of it went to other socs.”

An anonymous ISA source also commented that the committee was unhappy with the services from YUSU which they received instead of the extra money from the grant.

They told Vision “They [YUSU] claim the extra money has gone to staff time, but considering they filed a complaint against [a YUSU staff member] during Global

BOLLARD SUCCESS

Week and haven’t been happy at all with staff hindering everything they do recently... It’s not good.”

The University states on its website that international students “form an integral part of the community on campus, and currently just over 20% of our students come from outside the UK.” Our contact, though, said that the cuts were “ironic”, considering that our University recently won an award for being the ‘Best University for International Students’ by the website HotCoursesAbroad.com.

David Duncan, University Registrar, commented; “YUSU represents all students; GSA represents postgraduate students. They both do an excellent job.

“Occasionally, people argue that

it would make sense to merge YUSU and GSA. “My personal view is that it is helpful to PG students to have separate representation, to ensure that their voice is heard. This doesn’t always happen in universities where there is only one representative body.”

The ISA is affiliated to YUSU, like other networks such as the LGBTQ Network. It doesn’t have the same representative role as YUSU and the GSA. However, it plays an important role in helping to build the sense of community among international students, and in helping to bring together home and international students.

The University allocates funding to YUSU and the GSA, and YUSU allocates funding to the ISA.

YORK PRIDE

BY LIZZY ROBERTS

YORK PRIDE is on June 21 this year and is set to be the largest it has ever been.

It is likely that turnout to this year’s ‘Pride’ festival and march throughout the City will be larger than ever this year, in particular with more LGBT* rights to celebrate than last year, after the enshrinement of same sex marriage into law.

University of York students are known to attend the march in great numbers with many political and LGBT* oriented societies holding stalls as well as joining the procession through York’s historic streets.

This year, there will be a party of students meeting in Market Square at 11am on the June 21 to join the march.

BY CAMPAIGNERS HAVE won their fight to see the bollards on Old Heslington Road replaced, Vision can reveal.

Third-year student, George Hughes, announced via social media that the City of York Council had completed their safety audit and would now work to replace the blocks.

It comes following a safety review last year prompted by Fishergate councillor Dave Taylor after Mr Hughes posted on Facebook that the bollards,

located at the campus end of Old Heslington Road, were a “death trap”.

Students reported that they had suffered injuries falling over them, whilst others said they had broken their bicycle chains.

A petition, attracting more than 1,000 signatures, was also set-up and was presented to councillors following a meeting in December last year.

A snap of the new prospective bollards shows white railings with a red square half way

JACK GEVERTZ

through the poles.

There are also white arrow markings on the pavement to help students with travelling.

Mr Hughes says the new bollards will “end up being further apart than they are in the picture so that cyclists have more room to man over.”

He added: “I’m really pleased to see that these bollards are definitely being replaced, it’s taken time but it’s a certainty now.

“I’m really pleased with the new design. The new bollards are

a lot safer, more convenient and have far better disabled access.

“I’d like to thank all the people that helped with this, especially Andy Vose, Kallum Taylor, Dave Taylor and all the people who signed and shared the petition. The new design should be in place by the end of term.

Although this isn’t the biggest change to campus life this year, it’s something that will make our campus that little bit nicer which I think is something we can all be happy about.”

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NEWS

Tuesday May 20, 2014

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MIXED BAG OF RESULTS FOR YORK...

YORK

ISION

£9K FEES: WO

RTH IT?

STATISTICS REVEAL that the university has dropped from 12th to 14th place in the Complete University Guide.

English and Maths, along with 13 other departments, have also plummeted in the CUG tables, while 10 have increased.

Currently York has an 89% student satisfaction rating. Other Russell Group

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN

universities scored upwards of 90%.

In an exclusive meeting with Registrar, David Duncan, Vision were told the results of an international survey (the iGrad) where York performed outstandingly compared to other Russell Group universities.

York scored some of the best results in the categories

of welcoming in Fresher’s year, accommodation and living standard, with the chaplaincy scoring a perfect 100% rating with the 300 students who were surveyed.

Commenting on this particular issue, YUSU President Kallum Taylor said; “I don’t think the campus environment here is all bad – it’s just massively inconsistent. We have some amazing

buildings, green spaces and walkways; however they seem only to serve to highlight the more neglected and rundown areas of campus much more.”

Duncan told Vision: “A drop of two places in the CUG table does not necessarily indicate a decline in student satisfaction at York.”

70% NO

30% YES

DESPITE LEAGUE ta ble satisfa conducted ction, in a

by Vision, poll the majori don’t thin ty of stude k they’re g nts etting their money’s w orth.

Kaption Kompetition

For a space in next edition’s Sabbatical Officer review, send in your best entries to news@yorkvision.co.uk or tweet @YorkVision with the hashtag #kallumkomp

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11

YORK

NEWS

ISION Tuesday May 20, 2014

E

WHITE ROSE!

lections are great; watching the results come in until the early hours of the morning with my old pals Dimbleby, Vine and co. But when it comes to Europe, an issue which I seem to be totally alone in having absolutely no opinion on; I haven’t the foggiest clue which way to vote.

So, after finally registering to vote in the upcoming European elections at the YUSU offices. I’ve been pondering ways in which to use my newfound suffrage to be as profoundly unhelpful and apathetic as possible.

With that in mind I’ve located; I’ve located the most two bob, small time outfit on the ballot paper in this region, The Yorkshire First devolution party, as a potential candidate for my support. It’s not that I necessarily believe in the cause, although I suppose I do in a round about sort of way.

No, there are several reasons why you might wish to use your vote in this way. Particularly if you’re of a perennially undecided, angry or disaffected mind-set. Firstly, because voting UKIP as an anti politics statement has become far too mainstream. Even taking all the nutcases and the racism aside.

Secondly because by doing so in enough numbers there is a very good chance they could push the BNP into last place, and wouldn’t that just be absolutely fucking hilarious?

tom.davies@yorkvision.co.uk

‘Looks like he sleeps on the floor’

TOM DAVIES

‘Boring’ - YUSU Bastard

Follow me @TomDavies111

Today I turn 20, and absolutely nothing is any different

T

he day this column appears in print will be my 20th birthday. It’s a faintly terrifying prospect, to have finally exited my teens and entered the decade of ‘real’ adulthood. It was during their own 20s that my parents got married, took out their first mortgage and had me. Of course, the lives of my parents are not necessarily ones which I’ve thus far shown a propensity towards emulating. By the age I am now my father had already been thrown off an accountancy course at the now long derelict Gloucester Royal College for general non-attendance of a ‘going down the pub and bookies’ variety; been strongly encouraged to seek other employment from his straight out of school job at Endsleigh Insurance for, as he put it, “taking overly long lunch breaks” (presumably also down the pub and bookies), and was happily employed at the Cheltenham Borough Council housing arrears department, on a path to a rich and storied career in the murky world of social housing middle management.

I, by contrast, have taken advantage of my family’s later 20th century social mobility in the way shared by many other products of the middle class, curtain twitcher suburbs in

SMOKES ON A BOAT

which I was reared. By refusing to gainfully contribute to society and merrily coasting my way to a presumed future in “the big city”, doing something my family would consider naff and poncey like, oh I don’t know, writing or something...

Of course, it’s only natural to be a little bit afraid, we undergraduates so often are. Students are afraid of not finding a place in the world, of not being interesting, or unique, or that they don’t stand out from the crowd.

We’re afraid we won’t succeed,

“STUDENTS ARE AFRAID OF NOT FINDING A PLACE IN THE WORLD” that we’ll have wasted all of that bloody money and, most of all, that we’ll end up back living with our damn parents.

This is presumably the reason why everyone you meet at University seems to be a kind of strange, elevated archetype from something like Saved by the Bell, or otherwise attempting to do a sketch show impression of the national version of whatever job they fill within the campus bubble. Like student politicians or, dare I say it, student journalists. It’s an attempt at finding your place in this vast, strange world of ours, of knowing exactly where you fit in through a tribal affinity to a

larger than life parody of what it means to be sporty, or political, or big into Magic: The Gathering. There’s nothing wrong with it per say, but we’d be fools if we didn’t accept that in this regard not much has changed since we left school. It’s an ecosystem built on fear and uncertainty, and a big part of that can be linked straight back to the feeling that we are all finally becoming, for severe want of a better word, ‘grownups’.

Ultimately, though (and getting back to what tenuously qualifies as a point to all of this), my 20th birthday is just an arbitrary milestone. Does the fact that I can never again be called a teenager by extension make me a genuine adult? No, not really. There’s no definable point at which that happens. I am the same man today that I was yesterday and presumably I’ll be the same man tomorrow; whilst we’re all still at York nothing much is really going to change. I have been conditioned since coming to University to think about time in term weeks rather than in the date on the calendar. It’s a path we all must walk, in the knowledge that when we reach the end we are unceremoniously dumped out of our complacent stupor into the ‘real’ world. Until then, I’ll enjoy the gravitas and much needed cash injection which comes with my new age, safe in the knowledge that in reality, absolutely nothing is any different.

I LOVE AN UNDERDOG Me and Vision Photo Editor, Jack Western, were at the Langwith 3rds vs Halifax 1sts match last Monday down on the JLD, and despite being caught in a full-on pre match hailstorm, we managed to get this snap of Langwith goalkeeper, Steve Le Cornu, looking despondently at the ball in his own net.

A theme for the day.

Langwith lost 4-0, which, given some of the drubbings they received last year, I assume they wouldn’t be unpleased with.

Regardless, this image could end up being a succinct representation of their tournament.

Best of luck to them though, everyone loves an underdog.

I

discovered the other day that a large section of this newspaper’s Editorial Team seems to believe I am some sort of foaming at the mouth smokers rights activist, a preconception which I was keen to decry as over exaggerated nonsense. I did, in fairness, once write that I found the libraries obsession with forcing us air-polluting, wheezing wretches a little further away from their precious building every few weeks a touch irritating, and yes I am beginning to feel that broadly speaking, the bloody duties are taking the piss now. OK, OK I take the point.

What definitely doesn’t help my cause is discovering that I had, at some point, signed up for the newsletter of the Freedom Organisation for the Right to Enjoy Smoking Tobacco, or FOREST, an acronym which it appears to have been incredibly keen to have, judging by the forced nature of the organisation’s full name. I only remembered I had done this because they had sent me an email inviting them to their annual boat party called, and you cant make this up, ‘Smoke on the Water’.

Right, I thought. That actually sounds like it might not be the worst thing in the whole world. I pictured in my head an enormous luxury yacht, decked out like a 70s Fremont Street casino gliding merrily across the Thames.

Enormous clouds of smoke billowing from the craft into the cool evening air. A defiant, subversive statement again the quasi-fascistic Department of Health busybodies and their seemingly never ending crusade to regulate everything we put even vaguely near our mouths.

Yes, presumably you’d have to rub shoulders with the odd shady, big tobacco executive, but no pressure group’s perfect right? If nothing else then surely such an event would be one of the only places in Britain whereby you can still smoke inside?

Nope, according to a sheepish little paragraph midway through the e-mail; you can only smoke on the rear open deck of the boat or in the walkways. Way to fight the man guys, you’re true revolutionaries.

12

NEWS

Vision’s Callum Shannon takes a look at the UK’s student publications, exam news, bachelor lists and the ever looming marking boycotts.

Student Press After our own marking boycott was called off when the University and College union voted to accept a 2% pay increase, students at our fellow Roses institution, Lancaster University, face a similar threat. The University senate have discussed measures to take if such an instance arises, but according to SCAN, if the boycott goes ahead many students may find themselves without a degree mark, leaving them unable to graduate or move on to the next level of study. Plans discussed by the senate include issuing students with provisional marks based on previous academic performance.

Students at Newcastle, meanwhile, have more immediate examination problems, according to The Courier. Lack of big enough rooms on campus has forced the university to rent out the Tyne Suite of the Newcastle Premier Inn for a whopping £13,500, despite Lenny Henry promising rooms for £35 per night.

The University explained the lack of usable space on a popup library in the usual venue. It just goes to show, it’s not always students that crowd out libraries, sometimes libraries can crowd out students.

The Courier also expressed concerns, reflected by the hotel’s TripAdvisor reviews that the venue may be too noisy due to its close proximity to the A167 and Metro lines. At least the venue is fully bird proof: there’ll hopefully be no need to reschedule the exam due to pigeon invasion, something which occurred at Bangor University, according to Seren. Pigeons are bad enough, but what about geese? With all the hormonal geese around, imagine the chaos if a few made their way into Central Hall..

Of course, when the stress and hassle of exams is over, there’s no better way to relax than a good old party, but finding yourself a date for such shindig whilst cramming can be hard. Luckily for Cambridge students, The Tab has an innovative solution: a list of most eligible bachelors.

Complete with name, photo and the balls they’ll be attending, finding a date has never been easier.

Tuesday May 20, 2014

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YORK

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PETA AWAY...

STUDENTS HAVE been enjoying the stress farms on campus in the past few weeks, in spite of animal rights concerns.

The stress farms have been taking place in Alcuin, and more are planned for Vanbrugh and Halifax.

Vision recently reported that the animals were coming to campus and, since then, welfare concerns from animal

welfare group PETA have been raised.

Commenting on the so-called ‘stress farms’, Kallum Taylor said; “So long as the animals are handled and cared for appropriately, I think these ‘stress farms’, or whatever people want to call them, can quite literally be warm, fluffy and nice additions to the variety of things going on around this time of year”.

OUSE BOOZE CRUISE FOR YOUS

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YORK

BY HELENA HORTON

ISION NEEDS YOU!

Interested? Come to P/X/001 at 7pm to meet the team and perhaps run for a position in the most awarded student newspaper in the country!

What are you doing tonight? Put off revision for an hour and come to our by-elections!

Positions up for grabs: >> Advertising Director >> Advertising Assistants >> Photo Editor

>> Digital Editor

>> Sports Photo Editor >> Books Editor >> Life&Style Editor

>> Deputy TV Editor

>> Deputy Life&Style

>> Stage Editor

>> Chief Sub-Editor

>> Deputy Stage Editor

OUTRAGED STUDENTS have slammed the booze cruise on the River Ouse this summer.

This news follows multiple youths drowning in the river due to inebriation.

The event is being planned by a Twitter account @OuseCruise, which markets itself as the “Party of the Decade”.

It is being aimed at York students, from both unis.

“The real problem here is the possibility of promoting dangerous levels of drinking.

So long as the event is responsibly run and organised safely, there’s no reason it shouldn’t be perfectly safe for all involved.

The recent deaths in the river have very sadly shown that there is work to be done promoting safety on nights out, but that shouldn’t spoil a chance to enjoy one of York’s best features.”

Goodricke Chair, Tara Annison told Vision: “It’s not particularly sensitive, based on the recent deaths, however I’m sure if organised and run correctly it could be a good summer activity.

“The deaths this year are something to learn from but should not prevent us from enjoying what York has to offer such as boating and cruises down the Ouse. So I just hope this is marketed and organised correctly and carefully.”

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OPINION

Tuesday May 20, 2014

OPINION PATRICK GREENFIELD: BRING BACK OUR DELIBERATION

The Reaction is as Traumatic as the Action

W

hen Jack Gentul spoke to his wife for the last time, he lied. “Honey, it’ll be all right, you’ll get down.” Alayne Gentul’s remains were discovered opposite the rubble of what used to be the South Tower of the World Trade Center after jumping from the 97th floor. The little dignity in Alayne’s passing has been sold away, consumed by the world’s thirst to know more about that day. She told her husband she was scared, told him how much she loved him for what was soon to be the last time. But her final whimpers have been relived over and over, punctuated by shaving adverts, and Davina McCall’s pleas for viewers to stay tuned for Big Brother.

The media’s reaction to terrorist attacks is part of the attack itself. This is why Michael Adebolajo asked a passer-by to film his hatefilled monologue after murdering Lee Rigby, hands drenched in blood.

We consume these outrageous, murderous acts. Having processed them, we want to react, to do what is right. There are few more outrageous and disgusting acts than kidnapping and enslaving school girls, upholding a warped ‘Islamist’ belief that women should not be educated. As with every major terrorist attack, the predictable cycle of condemnation, prevarication and retaliation is in motion.

Liberals have begged for caution. Conserva-

“The media’s reaction to terrorist attacks is part of the attack itself”

tives have demanded intervention. Yet again, Muslim leaders have condemned the attacks, explaining that the violent Islamists in question do not represent all Muslims.

A Twitter campaign designed to push the Nigerian government into finding the 234 girls that have been missing in

13

“Citizens conditioned by the Consumption of Terrorism”

African Geopolitics in 140 Characters Borno State for almost a month; the #bringbackourgirls hashtag. While I do not dispute the authenticity of the anger on the #bringbackourgirls hashtag, most comments are just the reactions of citizens conditioned by the consumption of terrorism. We have become consumed by the need to react, to do what we feel is right.

The facts alone can shock a Western audience. How could a government ignore the warnings of this attack? Why has the Nigerian state seemingly abandoned these girls? If they are not doing anything, why are we not out there helping the families? These are all understandable questions, but facts are facts.

Most protesters are not aware of the unnatural colonial unification of North and South Nigeria, nor do they understand life in a state dominated by oil production. Few understand that the North of Nigeria is a largely rural, uneducated Muslim entity that is very differ-

“Unwarranted self-importance is likely to make things worse” ent to the oil-producing, urbanising, Christian South. Northern Nigeria has more in common with Mali, Chad and Niger than the South, and federal state capacity is very weak where Boko Haram operate. This problem has not emerged overnight, it is the aggregation of corruption, civil war, colonialism, indifference and poverty.

So what exactly is the #bringbackourgirls campaign achieving? It is an English language movement led by Western celebrities seeking to correct a horrific injustice in a non-English speaking rural part of West Africa. Even if members of Boko Haram had access to Twitter, they would not understand anything the protesters have to say – most of them can’t even write their name in Hausa. The girl that is now the face of the #bringbackourgirls campaign is actually from Guinea-Bissau, a fact the BBC did not even bother to verify.

More concerned with the world’s thirst for oil than its people, the corrupt government has already shown brutality in the North-West states.

Such attacks have been going on for years. No matter how much you care, the use of the #bringbackourgirls hashtag only encourages the West to intervene in a situation they do not understand. Knee-jerk support legiti-

mises the words of British officials who stress the need to “coordinate with the French in Niger” on national radio with no shame of their colonial past.

Yes, this is disgusting. Yes, the girls must be found. But we have been down this road before, and our unwarranted self-importance can make things worse. Michelle Obama is heartbroken by the kidnappings but she is also happy to sleep next to a man complicit in this injustice.

It is easy for the planet’s great orators to assert that all are created equally, that America cares about black African Muslim girls, and that the Western media should be doing more to high-

Think Before You Tweet light this injustice. But is that true? For years we have been happy to turn a blind eye to Nigerian state officials stealing the oil wealth and hiding it in European bank accounts instead of investing in healthcare and education. In 1980, 17.1 million Nigerians lived in absolute poverty, but that number is now over 110 million.

So, why are Michelle Obama and David Cameron particularly heartbroken about this attack? Hundreds of schools have been burnt to the ground in the Northern states since 2010, children are buried alive for learning to write their names in non-Arabic Hausa, and the Nigerian federal state is disinterested because it is too busy stealing from its own people. This issue is too important to be hijacked by the selfrighteous who only need to read ‘Muslim’ and ‘African’ on their Twitter feed to proclaim the need to do something. Social media campaigns flare up and die when the audience decides

there has been an appropriate conclusion; remember how much the world cared about finding Joseph Kony? The situation in Nigeria is complex, and strong opinions backed by little substance, worthy moral principles and arrogance are a dangerous mix. Think before you write #bringbackourgirls. Is your voice helping

“Remember how much the world cared about finding Kony?” the situation, or do your words form part of a mandate for Western intervention? Boko Haram’s crime is unacceptable, that goes without saying. But is your energy not better spent demanding justice for the 110 million Nigerians living in poverty, not just those involved in this horrific attack? Even if the girls are found and returned to their families, greater injustices will continue in Nigeria that require sustained interest. Do not carelessly consume terrorism.

Do not use the #bringbackourgirls hashtag.

Bottom Line: Likes and hashtags misdirect informed criticism of complex international crises @Greenfpa

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OPINION

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Tuesday May 20, 2014

JOONSOO YI: DONALD STERLING ISN’T RACIST

WILL MCCURDY: NEW ERA, OLD WOUNDS, SAME FACES

H

uman beings suffer, they torture one another; they get hurt and get hard. No poem or play or song can fully right a wrong, inflicted or endured, said Seamus Heaney – renowned Irish poet who recently passed away – in his translation of Sophocles ‘The Cure at Troy’.

Recently our news has been filled with revelations about the crimes of the Troubles. Retribution is being sought.

Iconic and seemingly untouchable political figures, such as Gerry Adams, are being arrested for crimes committed decades ago. Meanwhile, the UK government seeks to compensate victims of IRA terrorism with Libyan involvement, and new developments about the horrors of the Omagh bombing are arising. A new wave of justice and accountability is encroaching through the nation.

Great, one might say; justice for all.

But, as soon as you take away the vacuum of political ideology, a disturbing question

“Is justice something we necessarily want?” arises. Is justice something that we necessarily want? Is bringing people to account for issues that occurred decades ago really worth it? Is it possible that we are merely rubbing salt on old wounds?

Northern Ireland has made incredible progress over the past years. It wasn’t that long ago that bomb scares terrorised the populace daily, tourism was nonexistent, and foreign corporations were scared to invest, discouraged by a shameful reputation.

Now it’s metropolitan, rapidly liberalising and an increasingly more prosperous place than we could have dreamed of scant few years ago. Why? Mainly because of legislation, like the Good Friday Agreement, that put peace and order before ideology.

Where the previously rouge organisation of the IRA was given recognition in the form of Sinn Fein and given a legitimate platform.

Though they may have been criminals under UK legislation, the IRA was given the ability to transition into leaders who are capable of making some, if slow, nonviolent progress for the good of everyone involved. If every ex-paramilitary in Stormont was prosecuted for their crimes it would be half empty.

This is no secret, everyone knows.

One generation’s terrorist is another’s politician, and who are we to stand in the way of progress? There are things more important than justice.

The more we move away from the culture of petty tribalism and blame, the better it is for everyone.

At the risk of sounding sentimental and cliché, I will

say that you can’t change the past. It’s immutable. It might as well be a million miles away. But what we can change is the future; the country can move on. The country should move on. Atrocities were committed on both sides, things that will haunt and scar parents, siblings and children until the day they die. But you can never make right for a lost child or spouse.

“The country can move on. And it should” I’m not saying that people should forgive and forget, because forgetting something like that is impossible, beyond human nature. But sins of the past shouldn’t weigh down upon the present. The families of those affected may deserve compensation.

Why cause more suffering and bitterness when so much has already been caused? Revenge at best is a half glory, and the pain of someone else will never make the victims whole again.

The Troubles were exceptional circumstances and exceptional times, herego terrible things happened. Revenge might feel good, it might even look good, but it’s not going to solve the deep and systematic problems that dwell in Northern Ireland on an almost daily basis. What it does cause is anger, bitterness, and violence – be it political or emotional. It’s a vicious cycle, and a nasty one; but it’s one that can and should be broken.

If we want to make way for the future, we must let go of the past. In societal terms, this means not reinforcing history.

Not forgetting, it means dissociating it from the destructive sentimentality that hinders development. It doesn’t mean forgetting the grief, or the anguish, but putting it aside.

We’ve already seen natural, organic development. We know it is possible. All that is left now is to actively pursue it.

Putting ideas into action and individuals in societies.

Perhaps best said in the words of the great English poet, Philip Larkin, “Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can.” will.mccurdy@yorkvision.co.uk

Bottom Line: Dwelling in the past is no good in dealing with ongoing commitments, Northern Ireland should let go of its grudges and look to the future

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I

f you have never heard of Donald Sterling, it was probably not ill-intentioned. Despite the growing popularity of American Football, people hardly pay attention to US sports in this country, and that’s OK. But if you happen to be one of the few who do, you would know that he is the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, a basketball team that is actually located relatively close to where I live (Orange County).

But recently, he’s gotten himself into a lot of trouble. No, he’s not going to jail for avoiding taxes. Rich people get away with it so often in America that if it were to happen, it would take the world headlines by storm.

So what did actually happen? He was not only banned from the NBA for life, but he had also been handed a hefty fine of $2.5 million. Why? For being a racist.

The story goes something like this: TMZ released a recording of a conversation between Donald Sterling and his female ‘friend’

“Unapologetic, genuine and honest” throughout which he repeatedly complained about her frequent association with black people. He even went as far as to tell her not to bring them to his games. You can listen to the recording in your own time, but the way he made those remarks blew me away. He was unapologetic, genuine and honest.

Now, I am used to seeing racism play out before my eyes, in person and in the media, but never anything like this. Usually when someone makes a racial slur, they tend to exaggerate their hatred towards the target race. So even though the person saying those awful things might act only slightly condescending, and even indifferent, to the target race, they would tend to exaggerate their feelings to make the person they are talking to feel even worse. Half the time, people making these remarks don’t actually mean what they say, let alone

comprehend the moral consequences of their actions.

They blow their comments out of proportion to make it more convincing and stronger: in essence, to be heard. We must remember, however, racism is all the same at the end of the day. But this example is feigned racism maliciously laced with bravado, purely intended to hurt someone. A well thought-out and cruel attempt at macho display.

Now, listen to Donald Sterling. He’s not trying to ‘hurt’ anyone. He JUST doesn’t get it. In fact he apologized to the NBA for a ‘slip-up’ but did not utter a single word of apology to African-Americans.

He genuinely doesn’t understand what is wrong with racism. He isn’t defending it, trying to rationalise it or excuse himself; he truly believes there is nothing that needs to be discussed about his remarks. Let that sink in. He apologized to the NBA, not for making racist remarks, but for letting his girlfriend, who is also black by the way, take pictures with other black people. Essentially, he is apologizing to people for letting them know what he actually thinks, with no corrections or regrets acknowledged.

Again, he doesn’t realize that what he’s thinking is wrong. He feels he is personally responsible for not being able to control his girlfriend from taking pictures with other black people. “I don’t know how to correct the problem,” says Sterling. Well, of course he can’t. How can he even begin to correct the problem, if he doesn’t know what the problem is?

“At least racists know they’re being hateful” He went on to say that surely, he’s entitled to one mistake. No, Donald. You’re not. Especially if you’re the owner of one of the biggest clubs in the NBA. He already got away with saying he didn’t want to pay for one of his staff member’s cancer treatment because he didn’t want to “set a precedent”. Disgusting.

He is not even aware that he’s being a racist, and that makes him plain stupid. At least racists know they are being hateful and useless. Donald Sterling doesn’t. He just does not get it. And that, in exactly six words is what distinguishes an imbecile stuck in a 1950s mentality with no concern to adjust to our modern multi-cultural world from a genuinely hateful and racist person: he just does not get it.

@joyiparr

Bottom Line: Donald Sterling is just but one example of racism that can’t see its reflection in the mirror

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OPINION

Tuesday May 20, 2014

15

CALLUM SHANNON: IN THE EUROPEAN UNION, SIZE MATTERS

W

ith debates between Nick Clegg and Nigel Farage dominating TV and twitter, YUSU handing out electoral registration forms at any given opportunity, and the latest far-right ‘keep Britain British’ party, like the BNP or the unimaginatively titled ‘Britain first’, releasing eery videos on YouTube, it’s impossible to ignore the approaching European Elections.

Whether you’re a political anorak like me or couldn’t care less and think yourself lucky enough to live in one of the increasingly rare enclaves of liberal democracy that exist in the world, you must have noticed something.

Some people seem pretty excited that they’re going to get a chance (often their first) to put a cross on a ballot paper, which is great.

Regardless of your opinion, exercising your right to vote is important. Apathy is death to democracy. However, I can’t help but feel that lots of people are going to be very disappointed after they cast their votes.

The fact of the matter is, the key policies that the British parties are campaigning for cannot, and will not, be delivered through European institutions. Take the party that, at the time of writing, lead in the European opinion polls with 28% of the vote; UKIP. There is no way in a million years that a referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union will be delivered from the European Parliament (only the Westminster parliament could grant such a vote) and it’s misleading to imply that it would.

UKIP aren’t the only party guilty of this, however. The Conservative party’s campaign is centred on their pledge to hold a referendum on membership in 2017, if they win the next general election in 2015. In short, their main

election pledge depends completely upon a completely different election. The Tories must provide voters with more policies related to the EU parliamentary process, rather than just cutting loose from it.

But policy itself is just the beginning. When you look at the structure of the European Parliament itself, you see the real issue at hand: implementation.

The European Parliament’s 766 seats are made up of seven different political groups or blocs with MEPs of all nationalities sitting in groups with similar political affiliations as them. 61% of the seats are made up of two groups, namely the European People’s Party (EPP) and the Progressive Alliance of Socialists

“Given just how misleading elections can be, do your homework”

top the polls in the UK, their shouts will be drowned out by the vast majority of MEPs who aren’t them and who command the remaining 95.7% of the vote.

But once again, it’s not only UKIP who suffer from the system’s structure. The Green party and Conservative party’s groups command about 7% of the votes in parliament, the Liberal Democrats sitting in a group with 12% of the MEPs, the Alliance of Liberals and Democrats for Europe.

Some of these groups are just not of a size big enough to successfully steer legislation through Europe or to block bills they oppose, given the domination of the larger groups.

Now, I’m well aware this was a bit of a dismal article, but don’t take away the wrong message, that your vote doesn’t count. Your vote does count. As it’s proportional representation, everybody’s vote counts. But given just how misleading the electioneers can be, do a bit of research first.

Look at what the party you want to vote for can actually do for you in Europe, and how they intend to do it. Your vote is a very scarce resource, make it count. @callum_shannon

and Democrats (S&D).

And only one British political party’s MEPs sits in one of these blocs; Labour in the S&D bloc. All other parties besides the Liberal Democrats sit with groups that have less than 10% of the seats. UKIP’s group, Europe of Freedom and Democracy, make up a miniscule 4.3% of the European parliament’s voting power, and whatever way you look at it, that’s a pretty meagre amount. Even if UKIP does

Bottom Line: EU elections are blown out of proportion, but your vote is as important as ever

CAMPUS CALLING

THE BEST MEDICINE FOR HATRED

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ome people reject the pejorative labels the haters give them. Others choose to wear them with pride, to call themselves queer or n*****, to defy the negativity the haters are trying to attach to the words.

Following the latter train of thought, Halifax announced a competition for “provocative” LGBTQ posters. The aim is to rid us of the pity that has replaced the hatred.

To expunge the absurd expectations of shame from LGBTQ individuals.

Using humour, the JCR is trying to reveal exactly how ridiculous hatred towards the LGBTQ community is. Those against the campaign have said it will increase the selfpity some queers deal with. But humour and laughter, and showing the extremes, will dissolve that.

Campaigns which use sarcasm, such as the “Rape: It’s My Fault” video, have the singular ability to hold a mirror to the haters’ face. They force them to look at themselves and leave no room for blind spots. More importantly, they create the sort of lightheartedness that people feel society defines as “resolved” issues. The issues we laugh about are those that we talk more openly about, thus unveiling individuality and hav-

ing a better chance to accept it. Therefore, stigma is removed and the stigmatized are integrated.

Will this campaign eliminate all homophobia on campus? No. Will it help both internal and external problems LGBTQ students face? Yes.

by Artemis Vergos

PUBLIC UNIVERSITY. PUBLIC LIBRARY.

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here have been complaints flaring up recently directed at the perceived ‘other’, those clearly separate from the student body, in the Library. These might be the elderly retirees coming in to research their family history or local sixth formers coming in to do their A-level coursework.

It must be remembered that the University of York is a Public University, funded by the state and therefore everybody should have access to its facilities. Obviously you can’t have just anybody walking into lectures or laboratories.

But the more open facilities of the University, such as the library and public lectures, are an effort at democratising higher education. Even the lakes and greenery around campus are regularly enjoyed by locals. People often forget that, up until relatively recently, higher education was intentionally shut off from most sections of society. York as a ‘plate-glass’ university was a product of the 1963 Robbins Report and is a symbol of the democratisation of higher education.

Naturally, during the exam and dissertation period, space is limited, and all students, regardless of their year, should take priority. Secondary school students are welcome to the library but they also need to be reminded that nothing other than individual study should take place in the ‘silent’ and ‘quiet’ parts the building, but

students themselves also fall foul of this.

It can be quite cathartic to vent one’s pent up stress in online message boards towards those who stand out in the library or momentarily make a scene, for some reason or other. Especially when one had spent a seemingly unending number of hours in a hellish, book-filled prison and there is nothing you would rather do than stop working.

Some of these posts are funny and well written, but others descend into base rants, resorting to “GET OUT”. Just remember what a privilege it is to be a university student and not use it as a reason to denigrate others.

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Tuesday May 20, 2014

JOE WILLIAMS:

ELIZA GKRITSI:

PAWING THE WRONG PROBLEM

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hen administration tries new, innovative, cool ideas to fend off the horrible danger of stress, a lot of things can go wrong. For example, we could end up with bouncy castles instead of beds. Or we could find ourselves in a situation where we are stroking puppies for no apparent reason.

The upcoming puppy lounges in Halifax and Alcuin is not only a bad idea, but it reminded me what I don’t like about pets; their owners.

As a person who used to suffer from panic attacks, I can tell you I know a few things about stress. I know that stress isn’t an external problem, it doesn’t depend on your environment. It is a personal response to stimuli; not everyone deals with exams the same way, which is why many people have taken to the parks and not the library. Paraphrasing the modelling guru Tyra Banks; stress comes from the inside.

Understanding that probably has led you to understand my point. A puppy zoo doesn’t belong in your arsenal when you’re fighting against anxiety.

“A puppy zoo doesn’t belong in your arsenal when fighting anxiety”

If you were to try it, you would soon realise that hanging out with a few puppies you’ve never met before isn’t much help.

Sure, it’s cute, but it isn’t going to help you more than a stroll in the sun. Because the people who do get stress relief from animals get it from their own pets. They get relief from being around their most loyal lifelong partner, the one that they have an emotional connection with. Were you to build that kind of relationship with one of the University’s puppies, you would probably be more stressful afterwards. You would try to see it as much as possible and you’d be worried about keeping it.

But the debate around the colleges’ plans doesn’t end there.

One of the biggest animal rights NGO spoke out against it. The mention of the

word “zoo” rang the alarm and had them running to press microphones. In their eyes, the zoo is a cruel, selfish act that would “stress the animals”.

Putting aside that this particular NGO spends less than 5% of its funds on actually helping animals, or that in 2009 they killed 97% of the animals they impounded because they were “unadoptable”, they miss the point.

Maybe they missed the press release on this, but something happened some thousands of years ago; animal domestication. This is neither a brutal nor horrific imposition of man’s motives to animals.

It is the best way to include animals in our lives.

Since we can’t have wild cheetahs in our living rooms, and we wouldn’t understand them much either, over the course of many, many years we have managed to make some animals a little bit more like us. And this way we have been in a position to truly love them and not simply admire them from afar.

Of course, the system isn’t perfect.

There are children who get incredible joy from playing with their pets and there are children who get bored after a while. But this isn’t a problem due to animal domestication, it is a problem due to bad people.

We may have confined them in the concrete walls of civil life, but we have given ourselves the chance to create emotional bonds transcending species, and that’s a beautiful thing. Besides, after all this time, many of these species have evolved to be comfortable in this way of life.

At the end of the day, it comes down to prioritising. Animals face serious problems around the world. They are tortured and murdered for meat, leather, or sport.

A few University students aren’t as big a threat to puppies as hunters are to tigers.

Maybe, if such NGOs focused more on the serious issues instead of telling people that it is unethical to live with and care for an animal that you love, they would help more. @egreechee

Bottom Line: Zoos won’t help us with stress, but NGOs should consider the real problems animals face

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WHEN WE DON’T PUT REASON FIRST

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he EDL has faced its inevitable demise. The BNP became a complete laughing stock on an international level after the trippiest political video to hit the internet went viral. UKIP has received poo in the post.

It is only fitting that someone – at the very least – equally ridiculous takes their place. Say hello to Britain First, the far right goon squad who, this weekend, went around Bradford harassing anyone who wasn’t white and had a beard.

The group of ‘soldiers’ have made it perfectly clear that they’re Christians on a crusade. Their meme-based Facebook page would have you think that they have quite the following. The ironically frequent mistakes in grammar and spelling that are in it don’t slow them down. Even though anyone who doesn’t read the Daily Mail or The Sun thinks they’re in a fight no one cares about. Disturb- ingly, their page counts 321 thousands likes, almost ten times less than that of the Green Party.

Unfortunately, they are not joking about the militancy of their “mission”.

On their ‘Christian Patrol’, they set out to harass. Armed with their own version of the green beret; Matalan windbreakers.

Proudly carrying the Daily Mail, these parking attendant lookalikes visited a number of places they felt were particularly under threat from Sharia law and halal meat. In Britain First’s own words, “Our newly formed units descended on around 10 giant mega mosques, madrassas and Islamic centres across the town to distribute British Army bibles and anti-grooming leaflets.”

To most people this sounds, at best, nonsensical. But what makes the group so appealing to some?

For better or for worse, we are going through a time of political disillusionment.

Rather than publishing messages of hope and ways one can change their political situation, like the work of John Wilkes and contemporaries, the media is used as an instrument of hate, brandishing those it deems unfit for society. As if the traits of a “proper” fit for society were written in stone by an omnipotent being. And so instead of directing our contempt and anger towards those who really take advantage of the vulnerable, we go towards those who are even more vulnerable, namely

“In a time of political disillusionment the media is used as an instrument of hate” minorities, who lack the strength of numbers to defend themselves against such vicious attacks.

Groups like these, who say that Christianity isn’t a “playground” but a “battleground”, create these battlegrounds. They

set up selffulfilling prophecies by raising tensions where there are none. The leader of the group, Paul Golding – who in an ironic twist of fate looks kind of like a chubbier Tommy Robinson – has what every radical leader has: a loud voice and a deaf ear. Intimidating a Mayor’s daughter can get you support, being racist Islamaphobes can give you approval, attacking minorities can increase your followers. But all of that will come from the small-minded.

What is more, this type of hateful speech, instigating aggression towards

“Paul Golding has what every radical leader has: a loud voice” specific communities, can even convert the reasonable ones. When citizens are told that they are under attack by a different societal group, they may not accept it, but at least part of the message sinks in.

Therein lies the difference between harmful and opinionated speech. The former will use emotion, something that most of us have little control over. The latter will use reason.

Often these groups are good to laugh at when their message is kept to print and no action follows. They attract ridicule and in no time their candle burns out and their message leaves with them. But when comments like “a zippo lighter and a jerry can of petrol will sort this out” arew being left and gaining ‘likes’, you begin to get concerned. Moreover, these people are running for the EU elections, and the last thing they really need is a platform on which they can attract further attention. @joewilliams795

Bottom Line: Britain First may sound ridiculous, but its rising support can create real problems for minorities

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OPINION

Tuesday May 20, 2014

DEBATE

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PROTEST AGAINST TRIUMPHALISM OR AT TRIUMPHALISM CELEBRATE INTERNATIONALISM? OR CELEBRATE INTERNATIONALISM? MARKELLA APERGI

VS

BARTO JOLY DE LOTBINIÈRE BJL:

Tens of thousands of people booed a pair of 17 year old twin sisters during the results of the recent Eurovision Grand Final.

Those who took part in it and those who drew satisfaction from watching it on television (myself included) were more concerned with the embarrassment of the Russian Government than what can imagined to be the considerable dismay of the Tolmachevy Sisters themselves.

MA:

Was it right when the two 17 year old twin sisters from Russia were booed for the crimes of their leaders in last week’s Eurovision? No. But are we not, as people, given the right to protest, to express our dissatisfaction when a government beats its people for their sexual orientation? Yes. When it comes to civil rights can we use them without limits? Absolutely not.

BJL:

One can argue that these teenagers had no right to be castigated for actions that they themselves had no part in. But such protest is justified. There was no ill-will directed at the performers themselves. And when you make the personal choice to represent your

country internationally, you must expect to be treated as such. For contestants in such competitions carry the responsibility of their flag. More importantly, these are instances in which the right to protest is paramount. They are unique opportunities to express dissatisfaction with the whole world as your audience.

The booing represented a good indication of the reaction of people from a variety of different countries of Europe, to an increasingly authoritarian member of their number. The seriousness of the issue, the repression LGBTQ communities face in Russia, mandates for the most effective protest feasible.

MA:

International cultural and sporting events were created to bring people together. When the Olympic Games took place back in Ancient Greece, wars stopped in the name of the Olympic spirit. During such events we leave our country, cross borders and unite with people for the sake of a good song, for the sake of a good game. During this limited time we all strive for the same thing; human excellence. Flags hang only to remind us of our identity; flags are not there to condemn us.

“Protest adds a little anarchic frisson to pompous events” BJL:

It is logical to protest at something that will be televised to millions of people, and especially at an event as banal as Eurovision or at an Olympic medal ceremony, in the case of the infamous booing of George Osborne. Protest has the capacity to add a little anarchic fris-

son to rather pompous and sometimes overtly nationalistic events. These bursts of expression are framed within a peaceful and orderly environment, a context with clearly defined, accessible borders.

MA:

The global attention these events attract is not to be used for other purposes but the spectacle of friendly competition.

In this case, our right to protest is put second – it is curtailed. Why? Because in a world where everything is a battlefield, there needs to be a No Man’s Land. A place where China and Japan don’t fight. A place for people to come together. At least that should be the case.

BJL:

The successful impact of a protest by a single person is far less likely than that of one by thousands of people, and the reason for it is crucial. Nobody wants an apish streaker running about the football pitch interrupting play.

Trenton Oldfield almost getting wacked in the face by an oar at the 2012 Boat Race did not draw much support outside the far-left. A country’s government should be more measured when protesting at such events, for example the US sending an all-LGBT delegation to the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Games was more nuanced than the tit-for-tat squabble over the 1980 and 1984 Olympics between it and USSR.

MA: Such ways of protests are not ef-

fective. They only increase tension during the events, enhance hostility and even end up in violence. But most significantly, they hinder real progress. They obstruct the day-to-day organic process of societies realising they want to change. They take time out of diplomatic dialogue. They allow us to entertain the ridiculous notion that we know best, we must speak up for those who can’t. But we never ask. We go ahead and

bulldoze the confidence that people need to see their own power. We essentially tell them that they’re weak; weaker than us who exercise our basic civil liberties. And in the end all we do is patronise the disenfranchised. In this way, we also give ground to those talking of imperialist considerations. Those saying that our “progress” is nothing but modelling lives after our own.

“In the end all we do is patronise the disenfranchised” BJL:

Will there be a repeat this summer of the mass anti-government protests in Brazil that occurred in 2013 Confederations Cup? Probably. Should there be a protest during the 2022 Qatar World Cup if the emirate doesn’t clean up its act on the gross mistreatment of foreign construction workers? Definitely. @BdeLotbiniere

MA:

We allowed China to host the Olympic Games. We allowed them to use their exhausted, minimally paid workers.

We walked in and marvelled at what their sweat built. And then we complained, since realising that the predictable abuse of human rights had happened. And then we yelled “it isn’t fair!” But who would listen?

The officials we gave free reign to? Or those whose abuse we turned a blind eye to? markellaapergi@gmail.com

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FEATURES

Tuesday May 20, 2014

FEATURES

www.yorkvision.co.uk/features features@yorkvision.co.uk

THE PRIMADONER BOYS: A kEBAB CONUNDRUM Craving food but want to stash your cash? Here’s a few need-to-know facts about our favourites in the competitive and extensive world of kebab shops that draw the staggering student in time after time.

PHILIP ADAMS takes the challenge...

Efes Pizza

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ituated close to the University, Efes caters for the bedraggled travellers who can’t quite complete their trek back to their own fridge without instant meaty gratification.

The neon lights above Efes attract inebriated students like moths to a flame, immense willpower is required to walk past if you haven’t already been suckered in by earlier Kebab shops. Staff are friendly and fast, and experienced in dealing with the dribbling and slurring student. Efes boasts an extensive menu, offering good deals when buying food in bulk, so if you’re catering for a few, or pretending to cater for a few, then Efes is ideal.

Best ‘’Dish’’ – Doner Wrap.

Eating a wrap somehow feels healthy, something about a doughy tortilla as opposed to a greasy bun appeases the anxieties concerning the inevitable beer and kebab bloat you will have to carry to your lecture the following morning. It’s a sign of how delightfully edible these wraps are, that we somehow feel we’ve made the sensible body-conscious choice despite the fact mashed chicken and garlic sauce oozes from our chomping mouths. At £4.50 you do get a lot for your money; I would strongly advise both chilli and garlic sauce for the full experience and maximum decadence.

Micklegate Takeaway

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icklegate Takeaway is fairly underpublicized when it comes to media coverage of York’s kebab scene. Perhaps it is the unmemorable name or the fact on the way back from Tokyo or Salvation a right turn at Popworld spells disaster for a student whose orientation has gone awry. Yet one cocktail too many on a bar crawl on the infamous Micklegate, or if you simply happen to stumble upon it, Micklegate takeaway will cater to your needs. It is again excellent for bulk buying, yet if a student is looking for a cost effective way to line their stomachs then there are bargains to be had.

Best ‘’Dish’’ – in this case I would advise a combination of two items.

One piece of Southern Fried Chicken for £1.30 and 10 onion rings for £2.00. The price of £3.30 for such a large quantity of food might instil fear into the heart of the consumer dwarfed behind the counter, not quite being able to see what goes on inside those mysterious and ominous fryers.

Yet do not fear, as we all know fried chicken can easily go wrong and is very difficult to get right, yet Micklegate takeaway manages to achieve it. There is a crunch from the batter and soft tender white chicken inside.

My pet hate; the soggy onion ring – crunch is essential and a non-stringy oniony centre – yet again disaster is avoided and 10 crispy onion rings are promptly delivered to your gleeful hands.

Salt and Pepper

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alt and Pepper is ideally situated for Wednesday and Thursday nights.

Across the road from Salvation and Tokyo and adjacent to Society, it boasts boothed seating and provides a perfect place to fill your stomach while waiting for a bus or taxi.

However, Salt and Pepper is not cheap, yet you are guaranteed to quench your appetite while waiting in a social and generally jovial atmosphere. It also has the capacity to deal with a heavy flow of customers with up

to four members of staff on duty working quickly and efficiently.

Best ‘’Dish’’ – Special Burger.

At £5 for a quarter pounder this is one of the more costly items on our suggestions, yet it is anything but haute-cuisine.

However, the Special Burger delivers on every aspect of what a student needs between the hours of one and five. It is big, it is sloppy and it kills two birds with one stone; a beef patty, covered in strips of doner meat and crispy lettuce.

Topped with lettuce, onion

and sauces of your choosing, the Special provides a range of textures and tastes; the overriding one is that of tender kebab meat.

If you are a serious eater and have a spare pound I suggest upgrading to the half pounder, which of course requires more doner topping, more salad and definitely more sauce.

I would like to say the Special Burger ignited the passion of the 18th century Ottoman travellers that first discovered the art of doner meat; it doesn’t, but it gets the job done.

Oki’s Kebab Stand

Best ‘’Dish’’ – Chicken burger, best served with lettuce and either ketchup or mayonnaise.

At a reasonable price of £3 the crunchy hot burger is complemented well by the soft and cold lettuce. Yet these textures are not usually appreciated, as once the toasted buns fit nicely into the consumers eagerly awaiting mittens the burger’s days are numbered. Its drawbacks are that it is gone in between 45 seconds to a minute. For me personally I am not fully satiated, but do not fear, there is always the option of adding chips or exploring the rest of their menu.

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ki’s is perhaps the best positioned in York. It is a 30 second walk from Willow and is therefore close to Revs and Kuda as well. Those walking back to campus after crossing the bridge will also be intercepted by its luminous yellow sign, a light at the end of the tunnel confirming that your stomach will be lined soon enough. Service is quick and there is the usual plethora of sauces available; not only this but a member of staff will ring a taxi for you.

There is always the option of McDonalds/Subway but there is no risk, no surprise, no gleeful discovery of a settled stomach in the morning. Many other takeaways are available that I am yet to sample. But I will persevere and find the best deals possible for you, regardless of the detrimental effects on my health.

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Tuesday May 20, 2014

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The Most Controversial Selfie CALLUM SHANNON considers the dangers of the harmless selfie and their unlikely consequences Smartphones have revolutionised the way we treat photography and the internet.

Give your everyday, run of the mill, common or garden 21st century human being a compact internet surfing photo taking device and, before you know it, they’ll be

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posting photos of themselves on any platform of social media they can access and the selfie frenzy is born. From teenage fangirls to world leaders, nobody is immune from the selfie phenomena.

However, not all selfies are innocent and fun. The wrong context, background, picture subject or even timing can turn the innocent selfie artist from just another social media user to the subject of headlines overnight.

Let’s take a look at a few of the best...

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1. rIHANNA commits aNIMAL pOACHING

3. SILLY STUDENT EXAM SELFIE

What is it with celebrities and inappropriate pets? Rihanna’s snap of herself with an endangered slow loris whilst on the Diamond tour in Thailand was no doubt supposed to come across as cute and adorable to her fans, but instead sparked outrage among animal rights activists. The loris, an endangered primate native to Thailand, had been illegally removed from its natural habitat and was being rented out to tourists as a photo opportunity, a practice all too common in Thailand. Luckily for this creature, an unlikely hero was at hand. Rhianna’s selfie lead to the imprisonment of the two men responsible. The unintentional animal rights activist played a part in seeing the loris rehomed in a national park and making the world’s illegal animal trade a little bit smaller. One step at a time.

Taking a selfie at a funeral is one thing, but taking one in circumstances where phones are forbidden is quite something else.

A photo that appeared on LADbible recently showed exactly this: a student taking a photo of himself at the front of a crowded exam hall, with a confused invigilator looking on in amazement and other students struggling to keep a straight face.

Little is known about the culprit or whether he got away with it, but the look on the examiner’s face suggests there were consequences.

2. WORLD LEADERS & Inappropriate memorial behaviour Tony Blair once famously said that the first rule of politics is “that there are no rules. You make your own life.”

Personally, I’d suggest an alternative first rule: never say or do anything you wouldn’t be comfortable seeing as the front page of tomorrow morning’s issue of The Sun. Or, more specifically, don’t do anything disrespectful at the funeral of one of the 20th century’s most respected and loved freedom fighters.

Unfortunately, this rule was broken by David Cameron when Obama, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, the Danish Prime Minister and himself took a selfie at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. This was quickly slammed by tabloids as “No Selfie-respect”.

Cameron was left red-faced, but it seemed the most annoyed by the affair was Michelle Obama who, after the photo was taken, made her husband swap seats with her. Perhaps she just wanted to be included in the snap.

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4. Unknown woman SNAPS Suicidal Photobomber When you take a selfie, make sure you check what else is in the background. A dirty bathroom, a photobomber or maybe, just maybe… a suicidal bridge jumper.

Failing to check behind her caused this woman’s seemingly harmless snap end up in global.

Branded “the sickest selfie of all time” by the Daily Mail, it also made the front cover of the New York Post, with the headline “Selfie-ish”.

5. The worst possible response to a national diasaster In a list of things not to do when an entire country is grieving the death of hundreds of children following the sinking of a ferry, taking a selfie pretending to drown is near the top.

Yet this is exactly what South Korean model Heo Jae Hyuk did when he uploaded the photo below his Instagram with the caption “a fun game!”

When the image began to attract outrage, the 19 year old’s defence claimed he hadn’t heard of the disaster. He was very apologetic following the post, though few believed his excuse.

VISION YORK

FEATURES

Tuesday May 20, 2014

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MODA-FINALs A STUDENT SPEAKS exclusively TO VISION ABOUT HOW DRUGS GET THEM THROUGH EXAMS “I’m currently on my 25th hour of being awake”

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hen was the last time you felt awake?

Not just hyper from library coffees and nervous energy, but actually alert, focused and ready to face the huge pile of work next to you? Not in a long time? I thought not.

Now imagine taking something that is essentially the essence of not-tiredness. One tiny little thing that fills you with boundless energy; it makes you feel alive in a way that you’ve probably forgotten existed with all those late nights in the library; it turns your exhausted nods across the café into lively conversations, and you remember how to laugh again.

It has the potential to make you focus on what you’re working on, so that 40 page essay you have to read will feel like it took moments out of your day and, more importantly, you’re much more likely to actually understand what that obscure theorist was explaining.

This is the world of study drugs, and it is a place I’ve inhabited solely for the past few weeks.

It began with the sudden and terrifying realisation that I had a dissertation to conceive of, plan and write in less than a month. I knew that I was doomed unless I found a way to take the normal 12 vaguely conscious hours a day I could expect to work, and turn them into hyper-efficient 18 hour days. So, having heard good things about them, I bought myself some study drugs.

It’s difficult to explain the effect they have on you. It’s not like an illegal drug; there are no euphoric highs, you don’t have an overwhelming urge to hug people, or discuss undergraduate level philosophy with awe and wonder. It’s more like you have suddenly become your best self – to begin with, at least.

Half a pill will prevent you from sleeping for about 18 hours – in my experience at least – so each day would begin with me groggily turning my alarm off and reaching for the pack of pills by my bed. Once it kicked in, I’d get to my laptop, open my dissertation and begin working. Or that was the plan anyway.

The trouble with these study drugs, though, is that they can’t actually trick you into enjoying what you’re doing. So, if you really can’t stand your subject and you’re much more interested by say, Twitter, you’re buggered. There’s really nothing like using that newly found acute ability to absorb information to have meaningless but witty interactions with strangers over the inter-

net. That’s what’s happened to me, at least.

Over the past nine days, I’ve slowly become completely nocturnal, sleeping less each night than the one that came before it, until all the sleep I manage to get is a short nap in the afternoon each day. I’m currently in my 25th hour of being awake.

Even when you try to get to sleep, your mental capabilities exhausted, your brain won’t turn off and your eyes won’t click shut. So it’s reached the point where my body is entirely aware that I’m doing my best to cheat it of precious sleep, and in rebellion it has just removed my ability to be critically engaged. The bastard.

So instead of just being tired and unable to work, I’m lying wide awake and horribly aware of precious time slipping past but academic work still eludes me entirely. It is quite literally a waking nightmare.

It’s also entirely decimated my appetite. I have entirely forgotten to eat for days at a time.

I’ve remembered and wandered into the kitchen, with the knowledge that I absolutely must be hungry – but nothing appeals. I had stockpiled mountains of carbs and chocolate, and it is just sitting there watching me grow wan and irritable under the stress and sugar deficiency.

Oh – and one more thing. It plays HAVOC on your bowels. I’ll tell you something, I would have finished this dissertation DAYS ago if it weren’t for hourly trips to the bathroom. My entire house is sharing my misery in this, and we’ve put up a competitive tally chart in the bathroom to track it. The house record is 15 in a day.

So yes, there are – sometimes gross – side effects, and no, they’re not the magic solution to your studying worries, but at the end of the day, my dissertation is almost finished. I’ll keep taking them until it is.

Addiction to study drugs doesn’t seem to be an issue at University; we don’t have to take them, they are just a useful alternative to the sleepless zombies we otherwise become. The side effects of study drugs are definitely worth the 2.1 I will grasp onto, just, with faltering fingertips.

I’m not addicted, but I just think the exhausted, hyper, starving, laxative-imitating side effects that study drugs necessarily involve are a price I’m willing to pay to scrape that 2:1.

And if that doesn’t show a commitment to my education, I don’t know what does.

health check list 1. Modafinil is supposed to be used to help those who suffer with sleep apnea, not as a study drug.

2. It is strongly advised to not use Modafanil if you have heart valve problems, or any heart condition.

3. Also, if you suffer from angina, liver or kidney problems, then it is again advisable to avoid it.

BETWEEN TWO IDIOTS

THIS WEEK... Our willow music challenge Any reader who successfully gets one of these tracks played in Willow may enjoy five free sambuca shots courtesy of the Idiots.

Thomas the tank engine meets 50 cent

Our inaugural challenge to you is to get these bangers played in Willow.

Phil and I agree that this track combines our two greatest loves in life: audible miniature trains and hardcore gangster rap. Layering the best of childhood nostalgia and latter experiences in the ghetto (Tang Hall), this

Likelihood of being played in Willow: 1 out of 5

Do you want to build a snowman?

George and I aren’t going to pretend that while watching this particular catchy number from Frozen we don’t sob softly into each others shoulders while eating from an industrial sized tub of Häagen-Dazs. This song, however, will likely prove most unpopular with the Willow revellers. Ideally, this song request will come on directly after something

along the lines of ‘Pound The Alarm’ by Nicki Minaj. That way the fistpumpers will be utterly bamboozled, as their baseline turns to soppy Disney drivel... Not only will you be laughed at by the DJ, but the spectacle will be completed with a sequence of interpretive dance moves acting out the song. The possibilities are endless with lyrics such as ‘ride our bikes around the hall’; imaginary bicycle race to the bar, top up of tequila and back to the floor? Snowman costume optional but nonetheless recommended.

Likelihood of being played in Willow: 2 out of 5.

COME ON EILEEN (x6)

4. It affects your nervous system, so may impair reactions; driving is inadvisable.

5. A severe rash was caused by a very similar drug to Modafinil, which led to hospitalisation.

6. Its most serious side-effects could include depression, anxiety and aggression, as well as chest pains, uneven heart rate, numbness or muscle weakness.

track is bound to have you recollecting the Troublesome Trucks whilst imitating a driveby with your semi-automatic NERF gun. As far as dance moves go, look no further than the Locomotive (can you do the Locomotive!?) Use those arms as wheels, get your mates to pull that imaginary lever and fellow ravers will respond with a hearty ‘choo choo’. 50 Cent once said that his childhood was as “troublesome” as those “goddamn motherf**king trucks” which inspired him to make this mix. He actually didn’t, but it’s still a serious tune.

This is potentially the easiest challenge you are likely to receive from Between Two Idiots: get Willow to play ‘Come on Eileen’ six times in a single night. We know that Willow suffers from a chronic case of 80s diarrhoea. ‘Come on Eileen’ is the crux of this incurable disease. Phil and I often comment on how much we enjoy having ‘Come on Eileen’ consume

our subconscious for a minimum of seven days after the event. Alas, this relic from the annals of cultural s**t is only guaranteed to be played about four times. Your job is to convince the DJ to play it twice more. Beg, plead and be inventive. But don’t even think about asking us for a drink until your throat feels like sandpaper and the name Eileen makes you physically sick. Your success will be well rewarded.

Likelihood of being played in Willow: 5 out of 5

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Tuesday May 20, 2014

INTERVIEW: Jules Evans

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GEORGE DABBY meets writer Jules Evans to talk mental health, university and his life-changing discovery of the ancients

C

ould a book change a life?

Could a book give you self-awareness, clarity of thought and a focus that you never before knew of? We all hope so.

The success of authors such as Paul McKenna in the UK and Tony Robbins in the US is testament to our societal soul-searching. But we are so often given answers without questions: “Seven Easy Steps”...

“How To Be”… “How To Talk to Anyone.” Do we actually want to be told what to be or how to talk?

Or are we actually afraid of being asked questions instead of being given answers?

We live in an age of deter-

appears to be the prototype of the much loathed and envied elite.

But before his critically acclaimed book was released, Philosophy For Life and Other Dangerous Situations, even his former headmaster did not recognise the “angst-ridden young man” who battled for years with social anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, though he does take these titles with a pinch of salt (“I think my therapist thought he was being paid per diagnosis”). He eventually took a course in CBT, which he later discovered was a reappraisal of the works of great philosophers like Socrates and Aristotle.

...he remembers “careering” through his overdraft limit, excessive raving and “just doing way too much.” By this point panic attacks were a regular occurrence that first began after a bad LSD trip... minism. A chemical solution for a chemical problem, right? Science can be arrogant in the face of doubt and our faith in a bottle of anti-depressants has been our silent attempt to numb the chorus of our souls that sadly remain impervious to our attempts to ‘cure’ ‘fix’ and ‘solve’ ourselves. We once knew this; only ancient wisdom was replaced by the conviction that ancient thought was stale and inapplicable. But if ancient wisdom knew that happiness was more than a quick fix, who knew this, and is it still applicable?

Jules Evans, boyhood drug taker, alumnus of Eton and Oxford and former financial journalist, believes that ancient philosophy has lived up to Socrates’ promise to “take care of our souls.” Nonetheless, Evans’ claim that ancient Greek philosophy held the secrets to the “good life” seems just as dogmatic as Paul McKenna’s promise to “make you thin.” But Evans’ other claim lends far greater weight to a band of philosophers long since eulogized. He is adamant that Ancient Greek philosophy saved his life.

An alumnus of Eton and Oxford who glided into a career of financial journalism, Jules Evans

Central to all these works is the belief that we can “know ourselves” and that once that journey begins there is no going back, a journey which Jules Evans wishes he had undertaken when he was at university. This culminated in a nervous breakdown upon graduation, but before then he remembers “careering” through his overdraft limit, excessive raving and “just doing way too much.” By this point panic attacks were a regular occurrence that first began after a bad LSD trip. He felt “suddenly much more introverted”, no longer felt like “being funny” and had a general feeling of being “somehow wounded”; detached from the person he thought he was.

A product of Britain’s simultaneously respected and hated institutions, Eton and Oxford, there was no place for emotions, only explanations and fruitless hours “over-intellectualising” his anguish. It was, he says, “humiliating” to discover that it was nothing more complicated than the belief that “everyone must like me” which caused him such distress.

His environment was also a factor, and as we sat in The Old White Swan on Goodramgate, he reflects on the similarities between York

Just 3-10% of students will utilise their universities mental health services in an academic year According to research from the Association for University and College Counselling

and Oxford, where he found it often felt “claustrophobic” and like you were “always being watched.”

He remembers the vibe of campus university and asking questions like “Are they a winner? Are they going places?”

And then something remarkable happened. After leaving university and quitting his job as a financial journalist, he was granted the final interview with CBT founder Albert Ellis before his death, who told him of CBT’s roots in Ancient Greek Philosophy and one quote from Epictetus has provided him with an armoury of strength that has since remained with him: “Men are disturbed not by events, but

81% of students found that counselling helped them stay on their university or college course According to research from the Association for University and College Counselling These philosophies are just as

There are certain things we can control, and others we can’t. It is this simple mantra that has led to Philosophy For Life and Other Dangerous Situations being studied and discussed in institutions as intense as Saracens Rugby Club. by their opinion of events.” There are certain things we can control, and others we can’t. It is this simple mantra that has led to Philosophy For Life and Other Dangerous Situations being studied and discussed in institutions as intense as Saracens Rugby Club, where Evans told me of the difficulty in telling professional sportsmen that “it’s OK to lose”, alongside the tough realisation that some things are just out of our control.

relevant to students at York, but if you are not yet inclined to delve into the world of Greek philosophy, Evans offers some simple advice to students having a hard time.

“I made a mistake in ignoring my friends from home when I went to university. They were the people I should have asked, ‘could we have a drink and a chat?’”

Equally, in what can be an intense environment at universities like York, there is great value in go-

ing home for a weekend to reflect in the comfort of your own home.

The first step as always though, is to tell someone you trust.

He is candid in admitting that it is “easy for him” to talk about his past now that he is “better”, but that “it takes a certain kind of strength to say I feel bruised and vulnerable.”

I told him of student-to-student services like Nightline and he is impressed with the efforts that universities are beginning to make towards mental health, which he found wanting during his time. As always, though, it is “up to us to use them.”

It’s a brave step to tell someone you’re hurting, but you could do worse than opening the treasure trove of ancient philosophy as Evans did. You will find it amazingly relevant.

@GeorgeDabby1

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Web: www.yorkvision.co.uk/sport Email: sport@yorkvision.co.uk Twitter: @YorkVisionSport

VISION CHATS TO COLLEGE CAPTAINS

Wayne Paes WENTWORTH “I’d say we have got one of the toughest Group Stage draws with James 1sts as perennial favourites and Halifax 2nds, who as a college always have great strength in depth.

“We have made a satisfactory start to the campaign with a gritty win over Goodricke which was always going to be a physical and tight game. Wentworth have won the Plate two years in a row now, and we are looking to go one better by progressing to the knockout stages of the Cup. “We aren’t favourites to lift the trophy, but if we hit form at the right time and with a bit of luck, we have a team that is able to claim a quarterfinal berth. After that, anything can happen.”

David Belshaw DERWENT “I’m very confident. We have so many quality players in our squad with big game experience, and we’re all desperate to go one step further and win it this time around.

“James and Halifax are always tough competition with some really talented players. Goodricke are looking really strong this year as well, so we’ll definitely have to be at our best to win. “(Player to watch) Josh Bew – the University 1sts centre forward is in great form with two goals already; a very smart fantasy pick without a doubt.”

Connor McCoy HALIFAX “Can we get to the final again? Definitely not; we’re not good enough. All you have to do is look at our opening draw against Alcuin 2nds to see we’re not going far.

“Main competition: I would have said Derwent or James 1sts, but they have got too many egos. Our main competition is our history. It’s whether we can handle the pressure of being the best and most successful club on campus.

“Player to watch: certainly not Meckin, Nouse got that very wrong.

Mark Huwerth – he shinned a volley in for uni once and stumbled in our winner in the varsity match. Definately watch out for his goalscoring antics.”

Max Brewer VANBRUGH “Certainly since I’ve been here, Vanbrugh has been considered a dark horse for the title every year, and I sense the same this year. We’re organised and competitive all over the park, and if we can get out of the group, we stand as good a chance as anyone else in the knockouts.

“Tough call on the player to watch, as we pride ourselves on stability rather than flair on the JLD, but it would have to be Harry O’Brien. He’s got a lethal left boot and can cause real problems from dead-ball situations, as well as disrupting the opposition’s midfield.”

Ralph Gill JAMES

Greg Fearn ALCUIN

“If I was a betting man I would definiately be sticking a few quid on James this year.

“Winning both leagues has been the perfect preparation for #CC2014, partly because of the confidence it has instilled in the squad, but mainly because of experience as we have had the same team playing together week after week.

This is not an asset that every team can boast of. “(Player to watch): Definately Matt Singleton. I don’t want to curse him, but Matt always scores. He is a technically brilliant striker, whose link up play and finishing will cause a lot of problems for a few teams.”

“I think Alcuin will surprise a lot of people this year. We have a tough group and I really think if we can make it out of that we have a great chance of making the final and from there on in who knows what will happen!

“We have a couple (of players) who are worth a watch, but certainly Andy Fernando is a dangerous player with pace, drive and a great right foot. He is a great player for us, and alongside Ben Bugeja and Jeremy Nestor in our attacking midfield positions, they provide us with plenty of pace and creativity.”

Marcus Campbell LANGWITH

Johnathan Gillbanks GOODRICKE

“I think we have a much better chance than last year. We’ve had a few really good freshers come in and the 2nd and 3rd years seem to have improved a lot. I’d say our chances are about the same as England’s World Cup chances.

“In terms of our group, Goodricke 1sts are a very strong side, and the 3rds teams wont be easy. Our goal is to make it through to the cup and see where we go from there.

“Main player to watch for Langwith is Matt Morton; he netted twice today (against Wentworth 2nds) and is probably our biggest threat.”

“To have any chance of winning I’d say we’d have to look to top the group and avoid James 1sts in the next round. From there we’d have to face one of the big teams, but I’d say we’re in with a slight chance and can potentially cause a few upsets.

“Our main competition is probably Langwith 1sts or even Halifax 3rds, after they forced a draw out of us last week. I think the team to beat overall will be Derwent 1sts.

“We’ve got a few decent players who people will know about, but I’d say Simon Hurst, one of our freshers, could be one to watch this year .

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LORENZO WONG Follow me @lorenzo95wong

NIL LOVE

Before setting off for my first ever Roses, I read an article in which students from both universities were voicing their discontent over a rugby banner, which had been placed on the outside of the Lancaster tennis courts.

“Bit petty,” I thought at first, but my Saturday afternoon’s worth of reporting at the Lancaster courts proved otherwise.

Throughout the day, I witnessed someting akin to a training session than a expected competitive Roses encounter. There were no umpires, no mediators, and, most importantly, no spectators.

The fact that the players had to officiate their matches themselves just isn’t good enough. As unfair as it might sound, there can be no guarantee that a minority of players wouldn’t “twist” certain points their own way…and what if players can’t solve a contentious decision amongst themselves?

The men and women’s singles won their nine match tournaments 7-2 and 5-4 respectively, bringing home a hard-earned eight points for the black and gold. But what proportion of the university community recognised their achievement, and how satisfying was it for the players to represent York in front of next to no-one?

Sports such as football, rugby union and basketball all deserved their impressive turnouts at this year’s Roses, but tennis warranted equal exposure and that must be addressed. There are some excellent tennis players at this university and it’s important more of us recognise that. If Vision did call-outs, my finger would be pointing at UYTC and the soon-to-be-elected York Sport Committee.

Magic of the Cup When I was a boy, and too young and naïve to know any better, my dad got me into the godforsaken, unshakeable bane that is football.

Years of misery have followed, but in that time, I’d like to think I’ve learnt a few ultimately pointless lessons about watching the beautiful game.

Nevertheless, I still insist on reciting them at every opportunity. One which I’m particularly fond of is that football is the most extreme of love-hate relationships, and the emotions you experience throughout a season, or even a single match, have a span and volatility like no other.

Of course, it’s this unpredictability which helps give the game its pseudo-religious status but, every once in a while, the element of not knowing becomes tiresome. The team I support have just been relegated, and the uncertainty of it all is frightening.

Such disillusionment had left me yearning for an alternative which doesn’t involve my monotonous ranting and raving in stadia and in front of TVs, but instead, eliminates the anguish and replaces it with an unbroken excitement. Only recently have I finally found it.

Last week, I was assigned a handful of College Cup games to report on, and within the first few minutes of my first match, I was hooked. For those of you who don’t know, the 1sts, 2nds and 3rds from each College have been placed into four groups of six, all battling it out for eight

knockout stage places – and it’s compelling stuff.

The great thing about the University’s college system, other than the trademark witticisms (Goodricke is a mound of earth, Halifax doesn’t exist, etc), is the perfect level of intensity of the sporting rivalries it brings with it.

“EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, THE ELEMENT OF NOT KNOWING BECOMES TIRESOME” Of course, that doesn’t mean you should expect to find a Langwith student sobbing inconsolably when their 2nds finish bottom of their group (sorry) – even then, the Vase becomes the incentive – but York’s college football rivalries strike the balance of being interesting enough to follow intently, but also too enjoyable to mind if

your ‘faithful’ are humbled.

If an Arsenal fan watches his team lose to Spurs, they’ll have watched an important and intriguing contest, but ultimately will be left totally miserable. If a Derwent student watches his college lose to Langwith, they’ll have watched an important and intriguing contest, and that’s that. There’s something quite special about the latter, and it’s that element of control of your emotions which Club football deprives you of.

In truth, i’d still pick the morbid obsession that is the Premier League over anything else though, as I’m sure many of you would. Having said that, it’s nice to have that guarantee of a fun afternoon out on the good old JLD when the West Broms, Stokes and Manchester Uniteds of this world leave you out in the cold.

Put in simpler terms, I’m just dying for some good company at these Cup matches… please?

D FOR DEMOLITION

Speaking of the College Cup, anyone who happened to be down at the JLD on Thursday afternoon will have been lucky enough to witness the brilliance of the Derwent 1sts as they had the Langwith 2nds for breakfast, lunch and dinner (with a cheeky midnight snack for good measure) with an emphatic 8-0 win.

The fluidity of Derwent’s style of play is something to behold, and it’s their loose 4-3-3 formation which works the wonders. Central midfield trio Mirhire Overo-Tarimo, Joe Easter and Sam Earle were given the freedom to make late runs deep into the Langwith defence – and they

proved utterly devastating.

Of course, the set-up will have to become more structured and disciplined when they come up against tougher opposition further on in the tournament. With that in mind, they can’t be expected to push for double figures in each game.

Nevertheless, last year’s beaten finalists mean business, and anything short of victory in the Cup itself will be seen as a disappointment.

This limbo between the end of the season and the World Cup is truly unbearable.

However, if revision isn’t acting as a good enough distraction from this dreadful hiatus, the Derwent 1sts will ease your crisis.

VISION YORK

B-BALL PEPE UP

Despite failing to hold our Roses title this year, the tournament provided the York contingent with a number of remarkable victories over the course of the weekend.

The cricket men’s 1sts’ narrow win on the Friday, and the incredible 8-7 triumph for the men’s water polo team on the Saturday certainly stand out.

However, the cold Sunday morning at the Lancaster Sports Centre is what set the scene for surely the greatest sporting moment out of all the great sporting moments any of you sporty lot have ever witnessed since you first learnt how to kick a ball (excluding Fulham reaching the Europa League final).

In front of a substantial crowd of Lancaster faithful, the York men’s basketball 1sts caused the biggest of upsets as they stormed to a 57-50 victory after being behind in each of the first three quarters.

Now, my pick for ‘Best Match at Roses’ (I am indeed arrogant enough to create my own awards and assume the paper will comply) might still leave you uninterested with this entire article (or column) – upsets happen all the time in sport.

But what if I were to tell you that the men’s 1sts lost 75-32 at last year’s event, and that they only hired a permanent coach two weeks before their crunch game? (If you’re still uninterested, piss off out of the sports section. I give up with you).

In fact, sources tell me that this was the first non-student coach they’ve had in donkey’s years. One member of the York basketball team told me exclusively: “we haven’t had a non-student coach in donkey’s years”.

But brace yourselves, for the heart-wrenching part of the piece is coming. The hired coach, who the players referred to as simply ‘Pepe’, was only a temporary acquisition and has since moved on to pastures new. 2013/14 captain Andreas Boedt told me “the club doesn’t have the finances to pay for a full-time coach.”

On a more serious note, it’s disgraceful that the club’s financial restraints potentially hindered their progress prior to preparation for Roses.

Even sadder is the fact that team members have struggled, so far in vain to push for increased funds and support from the university.

That said, you can jog on if you think I’ve adopted a personal campaign. Just call me ‘The Messenger’. And with York Sport Committee elections having closed on Sunday, now is a time of opportunity for York basketball.

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JAMES STORM COLLEGE HOCKEY Sunday saw the first College Cup game for James and Goodricke, as both were due to play Wentworth who unfortunately could not field a team. It was a game of two halves, yet James came out on top with a 6-4 win.

James dominated the first half and had achieved an impressive 4-0 lead by half time. In the initial passages of play, the Swans took control and as a result of some skilled partner work between Chris Butterworth and Rebecca Jane, the ball was passed to attacker Ashley Collinson, who secured James’ first goal. A forceful tackle from defender Poppy Bullard put James in the position to score again, however some equally strong defending from Goodricke Captain, Sam Kemp, prevented a second goal. Yet the James side were not deterred and, with the help of centre mid Butterworth, Collinson went on to score two more goals.

Goodricke looked like they were

in a position to score, when an out of position Butterworth was stopped mid-dribble and the Goodricke attacker had an open goal to shoot at.

However, in the heat of the moment some basic hockey rules seemed to go out of the window and the attacker proceeded to shoot from outside the D, which let James off the hook. Butterworth quickly redeemed himself though, with a good hit to forward Collinson who surpassed his hat trick and made it 4-0. After the match, the Swans’ captains, Rory Pond and Joss Winter, congratulated their forward, Ashley Collinson, for his impressive goals.

The ‘Original Charlie’s Angels’, James’ girls’ heavy back line had a cracking first half and managed to keep a clean sheet, despite some excellent hits through the press from Sam Kemp and Dhyan Patel.

However, the second half was a bit like the sequel, which received mixed reviews and was not quite as good as the first. Goodricke came back strong

in the second half and succeeded in scoring two goals in quick succession. Georgie Cummings, the only girl to score, was perfectly positioned to gain Goodricke’s first goal.

The second half saw James’ defenders Pond, Hutchinson and Arter make some goal saving sweeps off the back line; however Goodricke proved indomitable and some good work in midfield from Patel made it 4-3 within minutes. Goals from both ends made the score 5-4, yet a scrabble in the danger area saw both Butterworth and Charlie Kaner fall into the Goodricke goal, with Butters managing to sweep the ball over the line in the process, ending the game 6-4. The game showed a promising start for both teams. Next week Goodricke 1sts take on Derwent 2nds, and James 2nds play Halifax 1sts, who are currently top of the table.

Vision’s Man of the Match: Ashley Collinson.

Briony Peters

UYCC START SEASON WITH A BANG! UYCC made it six wins out of six with victories for all three teams on Wednesday. In the first home matches of the season, the first, second and third XI all beat rivals Newcastle, Huddersfield and Sheffield respectively.

The first eleven batted first after winning the toss. They got off to a great start as Lack and Rabet notched their first 50s of the season and from then on they never looked back. Good contributions from Tim Weston and Callum Lennox brought UYCC to 237-6.

Newcastle never really looked in danger

of reaching their target and, after some fine bowling by Matt Cox at the start of their innings, bowled seven overs for just two runs. With the pressure building, and Newcastle needing to make quick runs off a tricky wicket, Thomas Waghorn capitalised with five wickets, including one spectacular return catch.

The second eleven also batted first on an equally difficult wicket, but did extremely well to make 165 in very tricky circumstances. After a fantastic quick-fire 50 from Sam Illingworth that came off just 52 balls, he eventually went on to make 67. A strong start was imperative in their

innings and opening bowler, Henry Turner, picked up the top three wicket in no time at all. After a lengthy middle-order, Ryan Slater finally broke the partnership and the rest of the match was clearly under UYCC’s control, with Phil Clayton picking up three wickets in the process.

The third eleven won the toss and Charles El-Nemer did not hesitate to put Sheffield into bat on a wicket that was only just ready in time for the match. Some rather erratic fielding saw some excellent catches taken and some more routine ones dropped.

Nonetheless York did not crumble

Matija Pisk caught three behind the stumps to assist David Gopinath, whose inspired spell took four key wickets, ending their innings on 122. And, despite a late flurry of wickets in UYCC’s response, a strong start

by Sage Kugathasan and an assured finish by captain Charles El-Nemer gave York a highly tense victory by athe small margin of just two wickets.

All in all, it has been a absoloutely fanastic start to the season for UYCC, and as the season progresses they will surelyhope to carry their good early season form into a serious push for promotion on three different fronts.

George Dabby

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Photo-Chris Skinner

Photo Credit: Jack Western

James 2’s Photo Credit: Jack Western

Alcuin 2’s

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Tuesday May 20, 2014

IS THERE HOPE FOR LANGWITH YET? There are some pretty low-key derbies in football. Hereford United and Shrewsbury Town, or Plymouth Argyle and Exeter City, a match watched entirely by men in seafront pubs shouting “g’awn” every couple of minutes.

However, few footballing rivalries are quite as small in stature as the Hes East derby.

For a start it’s only been happening since Langwith moved there last year, and secondly because Langwith have never so much as scraped a point from a prior encounter.

Friday, though, was different. Langwith 1sts have made a decent start to their College Cup campaign, with a hard fought win over Wentworth 2nds last week, and their tough 1-1 draw on Friday makes them look a very different side to the one which slumped into the Vase last year.

Goodricke, by comparison, went into the game under pressure, after a 1-1 draw with Halifax 3rds last week threw their cup qualification chances into jeopardy, with today’s second draw continuing to cause concern.

Langwith certainly started the game looking hungrier, though going forward they were shaky, and not able to produce many serious chances; a Marcus Campbell shot being the first of the game.

Goodricke, who started quietly, took advantage of their first break just after the ten minute mark with a quick move ending in a cool finish from Dalton Harris to give them the advantage.

This didn’t dampen Langwith’s attack, however, their equalizer coming just before halftime and stunning the JLD. Arian Sarrafan, getting the ball outside the box, masterfully flickered the ball around a defender and curled

a shot past the goalkeeper to bring Langwith level.

At halftime it was Goodricke looking a touch despondent whilst Langwith seemed to only grow in confidence.

After a few good chances went begging for Goodricke, Langwith dominated the final 20 minutes, although were unable to grab the winner.

At full time it was Langwith who went away the happier team, thinking, as perhaps many sporting observers are beginning to think, that we could be seeing a new dawn for the seemingly permanently embattled Langwith football club.

Goodricke, meanwhile, only enforced their reputation for erratic performances and underachievement.

Despite all that, the elder resident of Hes East are never a team to be written off, and today’s result is by no means a disaster for them.

From Zero To Hero

This time last year, there was still no handball team at the University of York, something that Chrysanthi Stefanou and Helene Nyegaaard-Larsen, were determined to change.

The girls soon contacted YUSU in the hope of starting a club and, a year later, they ended their season in style, winning their match at Roses against an experienced Lancaster team, who were the clear favourites.

Their task was never going to be easy: “We had to start from nothing, a lot of people came to try it out, some people didn’t comeback, but now we have about 25 to 30 members. When we spoke at first I was like I don’t really think this is going to work,” Helene admits. “We lost a few people at the beginning because we struggled to order handballs to play with, we only got them before the first term ended, so when you think about it on the first day we were training with footballs and now we’ve won Roses!”

According to the club goalkeeper Andre Costin, “(Handball’s) a lot like chess. When a player moves in a certain way, if they’re not fast enough they might get tripped.”

Chrysanthi had Roses as her aim for the year. “We’d been practising all year. The night before the game we just said ‘we’ll just see how it goes’ and we actually won! A good start I guess.” For a first season this is truly an amazing achievement, and a great for the team to push on from. To say it was simply a ‘good start’ would be an understatement.

Helena Sutcliffe

TOUGH JAMES HOLD ALCUIN FIRSTS ALCUIN TOUGHED it out to gain a point against James College in a 2-2 draw in the College Cup. The JLD played host to Alcuin 1sts and Black Swan 2nds, in what was a tight game filled with controversy and fierceness.

Alcuin set the tone of the game by taking the lead within the first 10 minutes. Sean Perara played a long ball forward that was converted by the head of Fernando, as the Black Swan keeper Balzan came rushing out.

From the outset this match was reminiscent of a League Cup tie in Stoke, as long balls and strong tackles flew in from every which way.

A free kick on the edge of Alcuin’s penalty area, defended by a three man wall, was cleared for a corner, Alcuin players adamantly called for a goal kick as they claimed the ball took a nick off a Black Swan man, but were unsuccessful in their plea. The corner was taken short, and quickly whipped into the danger area with the No. 4 Axford managing to get onto the end of it.

The game started to heat up at this point with the likes of Gill making strong defensive

headers and crunching tackles on Alcuin players. The diligent Black Swan defence made way for a spirited attacking spell as Gill drove into the final 3rd but was halted by the Alcuin defence.

James seemed the better side at the latter stages of the first half with a long range effort from Spilsbury fizzing over the bar.

The James attacking spirit brought a succession of corners, each producing a series of small scuffles causing the referee to award a penalty for an apparent hand-to-face offense.

Steel hammered home the penalty to the keeper’s right.

The whistle blew just as Alcuin showed some spirit at the end of the first half. McConell’s fancy feet led to a shot which unfortunately dragged wide. At the break, James seemed the more determined and confident, Gill in particular utilising his aerial strength.

There was hope yet for Alcuin though as the second half sprang into action, a run of flick ons leading to Hinchcliffe being through on goal before he was brought down ferociously by the keeper and hurtled over. The referee awarded a penalty but showed no card to the

keeper, even with a swarm of Alcuin players calling for Balzan to be sent off. The opportunity though went begging as Fernando hit it wide, leaving the Black Swan still in the lead.

James had a chance to settle the match when Baker intercepted a poor pass out from the Alcuin defence, but his shot agonisingly hit the post. Frustrated, Alcuin began to lose their discipline in the later stages of the second half, often being penalised in dangerous areas.

Alcuin won a free kick at the edge of the attacking third, Fernando, unfazed by his penalty miss, hammered the ball into the top corner; a Yaya-esque strike from the Alcuin attacker.

Both sides played well but Alcuin will be kicking themselves for not taking their penalty chance. Alcuin now must gain a point against Derwent in their next game and hope others do them a favour. Alcuin Captain, Fearn, had this to say about the game: “The keeper should have gone for our penalty. If we’d taken our chances better, we would have won it, but you have to applaud the team for fighting.”

Jon Barrow

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DEBATE: HAS HODGSON CHOSEN WISELY? Photo Credit: Jack Western

YORK FUTSAL TEAM PROMOTED The university futsal team has been promoted to the FA National Futsal League North Division 1. Next year they will be playing the likes of Manchester and Liverpool in the highest league for futsal in the country.

Club president, James Briars, delighted with the team’s progress, told Vision: “Being promoted to the highest level in English futsal is a huge achievement for the university and York as a whole. Everyone at the club has worked tirelessly this season to achieve this, especially our coach Junior Roberti. This was our first season in the National League and so it's pretty unbelievable to have reached Division 1 straight away.”

“It's really important we keep going though, we have the chance to qualify for the semi finals of the FA futsal cup if we beat Baltic Alliance at home on the 25th May. That would be another massive achievement and would make this season Helena Sutcliffe

YES: Lorenzo Wong

v

N0: Jon Barrow

JB:

JB:

JB:

LW:

LW:

LW:

Oh Roy, you've picked a squad filled with pipsqueaks! In the 2010 World Cup, Capello gives Matthew “My back hurts so I can’t get up” Upson the nod at retirement age, and now we have Hodgson doing the complete opposite by giving debutante defenders the chance to embarrass themselves on the world stage. In what world can Smalling replace Ferdy, and Luke Shaw fill in for Adulterous Cole?! This is the group stages, not a poxy qualifier against Kazakhstan!

When the England crèche is thrown in the deep end against the likes of Uruguay and Italy they won't stand a chance.

Let’s get one thing straight – England have no chance this year. We won’t even make it past the groups. The focus must be on Russia 2018, so there’s no point taking a group of thirty-somethings who’ll be alongside Adrian Chiles by then. But Brazil 2014 will give these youngsters vital experience on a big stage which they can build upon.

The attacking options chosen are all wrong!

Both Welbeck and Sturridge?! Two identical strikers, same style of football and the same haircut! Take one, Hodgson, but not both – by the way, Sturridge plays much better on FIFA than Welbeck does, making him the obvious choice. Andy Carroll has come on leaps and bounds since he joined West Ham, deserving a place on the plane.

Also the wide players picked (well done Hodgson) will provide magnificent service, Lallana is a diligent crosser and Sterling is the same – we’ll need a big lad to get his head on the ball, so Caroll in!

Even then, the squad is strong, particularly up front. In Rooney and Sturridge, England have natural finishers, with Lambert and Welbeck offering much needed versatility and attacking diversity. The chemistry is good too, with midfielders Lallana and Sterling at the same clubs as Lambert and Sturridge respectively.

Defoe is not your foe, Hodgy, he’s your friend! Take out Meathead Milner and add Jermaine to the fray, hopefully he and Carroll can form a partnership to replicate that of Crouch and Foe when they played together. The World Cup is about national pride, we cannot simply ignore the fact that anyone in England who has ever kicked a ball will be living vicariously through this England squad at the forthcoming World Cup. Pick a team that will do England proud. Club football is for development; national football is where we need homegrown class to be prevalent.

There’s no pressure this year. The fact that only six of the players have been to a World Cup is refreshing and represents Hodgson’s positive twist on what could have been a grim reality check. I can see us losing with dignity, and gaining much needed experience for the future, and believe me, that’s an improvement on the 2010 catastrophe.

Photo Credit: Jack Western

SPOTLIGHT: KENDO CALLUM SHANNON takes on one of York’s toughest sports societies

First off, lets get one thing straight: I’m not a very sporty person, and that’s putting it mildly.

Martial Arts, however, for me fall into the same category as Gilbert and Sullivan Operettas and campus politics: something that I came to university fully intending to do, but never quite got around to.

Fortunately for me, unlike the other two, student journalism is no barrier to sports.

I chose Kendo as my martial art of choice for several reasons: firstly, it’s currently massively on the up on the York sporting scene, having been one of the events in Roses for the first time this year. York were, of course, victorious. Secondly, I have a friend in the club, though any naive thoughts I may have had that this would make the professional stick wielders

go easy on me were dashed when he sent me the very unreassuring message: “LOL I’m going to make sure that you get injured before you leave.”

I needn’t have worried, though. Despite being the kind of people inclined to hit each other with bundles of bamboo canes whilst screaming incomprehensible Japanese words at each other, the Kendo squad are a really nice bunch.

As a newbie, I didn’t take part in any sparring, so my fears of being whacked with wooden swords never materialised.

Placed under the wing of an amiable guy called Ed for the first part of the training session, it took me a while to learn the basics. Footwork, apparently the most important thing in sport, takes years

to truly master, but that was the least of my worries: I kept my Shinai upside down. One step at a time.

Once I’d grasped the basics (and the sword correctly) I found being 6’4” is pretty useful in this sport. My long reach meant I could easily cut without seriously getting within my hypothetical opponent’s reach, and my unnaturally long legs allow for easy shuffling along the floor (Kendo is done in bare feet and the floor of James Hall is hardly made for gliding).

Whilst I wasn’t sparring, I still got to try out a large number of cuts on the club members (who were wearing armour on a rather warm May afternoon, something that I didn’t envy) and I have to say, it was really fun. There’s something extremely satisfying about clattering some-

body on the helmet with a Shinai that you just don’t experience in any other sport I’ve tried.

Consequently, I fully enjoyed my first afternoon practising the Japanese martial art.

According to club president, Alex Wilson, the York squad will be facing Northumbria in a Taikai (tournament) in June, which I’d firmly advise you go along to,.These guys won their Roses Taikai for a reason; they’re seriously, seriously good. I’d like to thank them for taking a clumsy student journalist under their wings for a few hours.

Has Kendo encouraged me to further take up sports and will I be attending further training sessions? Well, lets just see what next year’s refreshers brings, shall we?

Jack Western

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P26 THE HES EAST DERBY

P27

SPOTLIGHT: CALLUM SHANNON TRIES OUT KENDO

EXCLUSIVE College Football Captain Interviews P23

UYRUFC IN CHARITY TOURNAMENT

P24 INTRODUCING: Sports Columnist Lorenzo Wong

P27 DISCUSSION:

HAS HODGSON CHOSEN WISELY? Issue 243

@YorkVisionSport

UYRUFC ARE holding a charity Rugby 10s tournament in aid of Cammpaign4Rob on the 15th June at 12pm on 22 Acres.

The club is looking for as many teams of 10 to get involved to play in part of the tournament. It will be £50 per team, which gets each team member a free wristband for Revs at night.

There will be a BBQ and outdoor

bar, however anyone is able to join and enjoy the rugby with picnics.

The tournament is taking place for the Cammpaign4Rob charity, an aid for Rob Camm, who was in a car accident leaving him paralysed from the neck down just a few days before coming to York to study PPE. As a keen rugby player, the rugby members have kept in contact with Rob and his family to help support

Tuesday May 20th, 2014

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him. By having the tournament, they hope to try and raise money to help Rob’s mobility, communication and quality of life, and hope, with Rob, that one day he will be able to come and take his place at York.

Teams can get in contact at sponsorship@uyrufc.co.uk for team entry, and charity@uyrufc.co.uk for businesses or societies to contribute or help in any way.

sport@yorkvision.co.uk

www.yorkvision.co.uk/sport