7 Ways to Boost Confidence by Lee Smith

7 Ways to Boost Your Confidence By Lee Smith, Vision for U Coaching

Vision for U Coaching

Introduction Congratulations on taking the next step to boosting your confidence and self-esteem. By using the strategies in this report, we’re sure you’ll learn to change your life and start to feel good about yourself. The positive impact will be felt in all areas of your life including your career, relationships, and social life.

Are you lacking in confidence? I want you to start by considering the following questions: 

Do you dread social gatherings?



Do you struggle to make and keep friends?



Is happiness something that only others deserve?



Is promotion at work beyond you?



Are you unhappy with your body and how you look?

Does one or more of the above apply to you? If so, read on as this free report is designed to provide you with powerful and proven tools to help you gain confidence and live a life of happiness and fulfilment.

What is self-confidence? One definition of self-confidence is when you believe in yourself and you're sure that you'll succeed at something. What’s your definition of confidence? What does it mean to you? What would you be doing if you were a confident person? How would you be feeling? It’s easy to label yourself as a person with low self-esteem or confidence. However, everybody has experienced what it feels like to be confident. It’s important to remember this and build on it. Throughout life, your level of self-confidence might fluctuate when you're faced with challenging situations. However, it’s important to remember that you have the power to build your self-confidence.

Vision for U Coaching

What would a confident YOU look like? Where did your lack of self-confidence come from? Is it something you decided yourself or, more likely, did you get this belief from family, friends, teachers etc? We all want to be confident and self-assured but in order to change, it’s vital to know what’s driving you. In other words, what’s your motivation to change? What difference will a greater self-confidence make to you? In order to answer this question, list the 3 most important benefits that you want your confidence to provide – ‘if I had the confidence, I would be…’ 1

_________________________________________________________

It’s very easy to get into a way of thinking that continually lays the blame at other people’s feet and to think that achieving your dreams is just that – a dream. In reality, though, people achieve their dreams every day. However, you do need to accept that only you can truly take responsibility for your own actions and what happens in your life. Any dream also needs effective goals and a plan of action to achieve them. Therefore, you need to ask yourself the following questions: 

What sort of person would you like to be? What does confidence mean to you?



Take time to think about and visualise what your ideal life would be like – what can you see? How does it feel? What are you doing and with whom?



Granted more confidence, where would you like to be in 6 months / a year / 5 years?



Identify the barriers that currently stand in the way of you achieving these outcomes



What actions do you need to take to get to where you want to be? To begin with, it can help to set yourself small actions as these are more achievable and will help to get you started – remember that the first step is often the most challenging.

Vision for U Coaching

I’ve personally experienced lack of confidence and self-esteem. When I was younger, I was painfully shy and felt strongly that I didn’t deserve to be as happy as other people. As an adult, my confidence has grown and this has allowed me to withstand major life events including redundancy, career changes, and starting my own business from scratch. Experiencing this journey is one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about sharing these strategies and helping you to boost your selfconfidence and to get the life you deserve. These strategies have been successful not just for me but for thousands worldwide. They’re not just derived from personal experience but also from experts in this field. I’ve no doubt they can help you too. Coaching is very effective in helping people to address these questions and to get their life back on track. We’ve helped many clients to do this by helping them see things in a different way and by offering them regular support, focus and guidance. If you’d like more in-depth help with building your confidence and self-esteem, contact me for a FREE, no obligation consultation. It’s easy to get in touch – simply call 0117 230 2153 or e-mail me at visionforucoaching@gmail.com . In the meantime, here are 7 practical strategies to help you improve your confidence. Not all strategies will work for you so please use the ones that you feel most comfortable with and discard the rest…

7 strategies to improve your self-confidence 1) Feel good There’s a direct link between confidence and energy levels. The more energy you have, the happier and more positive you’re likely to feel. Making the effort to stay in shape serves you well in terms of increased confidence and self-esteem. If you’re insecure about your weight, for example, those insecurities can affect many other aspects of your life. There are many ways to boost your energy levels including a healthy diet, plenty of quality sleep, and drinking enough water (around 4 pints a day). Another obvious way is to improve your physical well-being. One way of doing this is to exercise regularly. There are many forms of exercise, some of which will appeal more than others! It’s often easier to maintain exercise by doing it with friends and making it a sociable occasion. If you’re not enjoying it, you’re not likely to keep it up. Here are some ideas: 

Take up an active sport – this is a great way to blow off steam, spend time with friends and get some exercise which makes you feel good. Being good at a particular sport is a great way to boost your confidence. Even if you don’t excel at sport, it’s a great way to meet people and get fit and healthy at the same time

Vision for U Coaching

   

Go for a walk in the country, a park, a nature reserve, or by the sea – fresh air and exercise means it’s invigorating and relaxing at the same time Put your favourite music on and sing and dance along – music is a great mood enhancer Buy an exercise video or Wii game and make it fun! Join a class at the local gym or leisure centre – a great way to structure your exercise and meet new people at the same time.

Exercising also produces endorphins, the “feel good” hormone, which gives you an emotional lift and makes you feel good about yourself. You may be relieved to know it’s not all about physical activity! Positive things that make you feel good about yourself will make a difference to your self-confidence. This could include:     

Reading a book or magazine Watching a comedy programme or film Singing Watching sport Going out with friends

So why not take time to treat yourself? Make yourself feel good and watch your energy levels and confidence soar!

2) Think positively We talk to ourselves inside our mind all day long; it’s like a running dialogue that never ends. The things you say to yourself forge energy pathways in your subconscious that control your attitudes, beliefs, and actions. How you react to your experiences is also part of this self-talk. When your self-talk is positive, it can move you to accomplish great things. When it’s negative, it can hold you back and even keep you from ever accomplishing the things you desire. Therefore, surely it makes sense for your self-talk to be positive? One way of doing this is using affirmations which are powerful ways to boost your confidence and selfesteem. Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself every day to change negative beliefs into positive ones. Initially, they may feel contrived and awkward but their power lies in the effect they have on the subconscious mind, which in turn gradually accepts the phrases and feeds them back into your conscious mind. Affirmations help to programme your mind with positive thoughts and actions rather than the negative talk that we often hear from our inner voice. They help you to focus on and achieve your goals. Affirmations do have an incredible power over our thoughts and actions so use them wisely as they allow you to create a future very different from the present reality. As you go through your day, ensure that what you’re saying to yourself is something you want to hear. After all, nothing good will come from beating yourself up for making a mistake. If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

Vision for U Coaching

If you’re lacking in self-confidence, try the following affirmations:     

I accomplish my daily goals with ease I’m prepared to meet any challenge that comes my way Confidence radiates from me at all times I relax to take my mind off the things I’m unable to control I enjoy each moment to the fullest.

It’s important to repeat these phrases, with passion, on a regular basis so they become implanted in the subconscious mind. The mind will then work to affirm and achieve your goals. To be effective, affirmations should:   

Be in the present tense - write your affirmations as if they’re attitudes and behaviours you already exemplify in your daily life. Use words like “I am” or “I feel” or “I believe.” Focus on the positive – avoid the words ‘not’ or ‘never’ Be personal - you’re speaking to your subconscious, so use the word “I.”

For best results, you do of course need to take action as well – if you do both, you’ll be amazed at what can change in your life. Affirmations can literally change your life, one thought at a time!

3 Take charge of your life A big drain on confidence comes from feeling as though you’re not in control of your life. Therefore, regaining control of your life is very empowering and can provide a massive boost to your confidence. There are many ways of doing this including deciding on and setting effective goals and then devising an action plan to achieve them. Confidence comes to people who know exactly what they want, where they’re going, and how they’re going to get there. At Vision for U Coaching, we help clients set SMERTIE goals. These are similar to SMART goals/objectives that you may have come across before. Setting SMERTIE goals virtually guarantees your success, and every time you achieve one of your goals, your confidence is kicked up another notch!

Vision for U Coaching

Here, SMERTIE stands for:       

Specific - Describe exactly what you want. Make it crystal clear and leave no room for interpretation. Measurable - You must be able to measure your progress so you’ll know when you’ve succeeded. Evidential – You need to have the evidence to know when you’ve achieved your goal Responsible – You must be responsible for achieving your goal, not someone else Timed - Always set a time for reaching your goal so you can make an action plan that’s complete by your desired date. Inspirational – To succeed, you need a target that’s going to inspire you, not something that’s half-hearted Emotional – To make any change in life, there needs to be a strong emotional attachment to ensure you’re motivated to make that change.

In the above list, ‘R’ stands for responsible. The purpose of coaching is to give people responsibility in their lives. The degree that you become successful is almost always directly proportionate to the amount of responsibility you accept fully within your life. This realisation can be very powerful for people being coached and is a critical aspect of taking charge of your life. What if your life feels out of control because somebody (often your boss or your partner) is being ‘unreasonable’? This is a common issue and is rarely (if ever) solved simply by blaming the other person. A more effective way of approaching this problem is really learning to listen and empathise with the other person’s point of view. I realise this can be difficult if it’s got to the stage where you dread seeing that other person. However, taking this attitude over time will normally have the effect of helping to open the other person’s mind to your views, therefore forming the basis for a much more productive relationship. Try not to get dragged into the ‘blame’ culture – it doesn’t solve the problem.

4 Challenge your beliefs Beliefs are very powerful. They shape the way we think and act. We tend to reinforce our beliefs by what we say to ourselves (the self-talk), what we read, and who we spend time with. If you believe yourself to be lacking in self-confidence, you will almost certainly be seeking and finding examples every day to prove this belief to be true. Most beliefs come from the opinions of others – remember they’re only opinions and only become true if you believe them. What do you believe to be true about your confidence? List at least 10 sayings you believe to be true – how many of them are negative sayings?

Vision for U Coaching

One of the key things for overcoming self-doubt and generating a positive inner voice is having real inner self-belief and taking full responsibility for your own life. Your self-image is created by your belief system and it determines how you respond to events in your life and how confident you are. It’s why people with low confidence and self-esteem can remain in situations that don’t serve them because their selfimage and belief systems support them there – in order words, this is what they deserve. It’s only by changing your belief system and therefore your self-image that you start to improve your confidence levels. The good news is that just as we can reinforce negative beliefs by our thoughts, words and actions, so we can devise and strengthen our positive beliefs. To start with, you can come up with the opposite of any negative sayings. Don’t worry at this stage whether or not you believe the new positive saying. Alternatively, you can replace the negative saying with a brand new positive saying, one you are happier with. The new beliefs must sound good, have positive feelings attached to them, and be supported by as many references as you can think of. Repeat the new positive sayings many times a day, at least to begin with – this is called re-patterning. In order to strengthen the belief, think of as many things as you can to support it. To weaken a negative belief, decide you want to get rid of it, then eliminate all the references that support this belief, stop yourself saying those references and automatically agreeing with others, and replace it with at least 5 positive confidence beliefs. Another way of changing old habits and beliefs is to model someone who is very good at what you want to do – for example, stand in front of a mirror and mimic their actions e.g. body language and how they talk, breathe, move etc – think about what they do that you currently don’t do and then ask yourself ‘what would I need to believe in order to behave in this same way?’ Success leaves clues – learn from others!

5 Be true to yourself Allow yourself to feel secure in your beliefs and act accordingly. Others will have more respect for you if you stick to your beliefs, even if they don’t agree with you. When you let your principles guide your actions, you can never disappoint yourself. To achieve this:    

Know what's important to you Always do what you believe is the right thing Desire things because you want them, not because someone else does Don't compare yourself - your worth doesn’t depend on others.

Vision for U Coaching

6 Act confidently We all have days where nothing seems to go right. When this happens, our selfconfidence can suffer. On days like these, when all else fails, act confident anyway. Actions that make you look confident can make you feel more confident as well:   

Smile - giving someone a confident smile will make you feel better too. Help someone - helping others feel better may also give you a boost. Plus, there’s nothing like the feeling you get when you see someone’s eyes light up because you did something that made a difference in their life! Dress for success - even if you don’t care what you look like on a bad day, make the effort to look nice anyway. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but others will respond to you more positively, bringing you even more confidence.

Experts agree that people may get more from your body language than they do from your words. Using confident body language will go a long way towards increasing your effectiveness with others and bring you greater confidence as well. Follow these tips to display greater confidence:   

 

Stand up straight - your posture can tell people a lot about you before you ever speak a word! Confident people stand straight and tall, whereas people who lack confidence visibly shrink down. Be relaxed and open - even though you’re standing up straight, keep your muscles relaxed. Tense muscles exhibit tension, fear, or insecurity to others. Open body language shows self-confidence and trust. Walk quickly - busy, successful people usually walk quickly. They have places to go, things to do, and people to see. When you walk quickly, you join the ranks of these accomplished people, and others will automatically look at you as if you must be successful, too. Hold your head up - show your confidence by holding your head up high. Insecure people look down far too often. Make eye contact - when you look someone in the eye, you’re projecting honesty, sincerity, and self-assurance. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact makes people think that you have something to hide or that you’re unsure of yourself.

7 Energising relationships Relationships have the potential to either invigorate or destroy our self-esteem. Incorporating these strategies into your relationships will ensure that they’re positive and beneficial:

Vision for U Coaching

        

Give compliments - make others feel good about themselves Receive compliments graciously - accept compliments graciously by simply saying thank you and nothing more. There’s no need to put yourself down to appear modest Follow the Golden Rule - treat others as you’d like to be treated Be honest - everything you say should be grounded in truth Show kindness and love - let others know you care Sandwich constructive criticism in between good points - focus on how they can improve Look for the best in others and bring it out - focus on the good in others Admit your mistakes and apologize when you’re wrong - refuse to make excuses Eliminate gossip - gossip is toxic and detrimental to your confidence.

Do whatever you can to surround yourself with positive people. When you’re around uplifting people, it’s much easier to feel confident. Like-minded individuals help bring out the best in you. When you surround yourself with positive influences, you know you can be yourself without fear of judgement. On the other hand, avoid negative people. They tend to be overly critical and try to drag you down to their level. Don’t let negative people steal your self-confidence. To YOUR success Do you still need extra help to boost your confidence and self-esteem? Whatever your concern, we have successfully supported many people to achieve this ambition. We can help you too. With no obligation, what have you got to lose? Working on a one-to-one basis at a time that suits you, we use proven methods to help you fulfil your ambitions. We guarantee to work with you as long as you need us. To make that next step, and to find out more about our FREE initial consultation, act now. It’s easy to get in touch – simply e-mail us on visionforucoaching@gmail.com or phone Lee on 0117 2302153. We would of course be happy to take the cost of the call if you e-mail us your contact details. We very much look forward to hearing from you. With warmest regards

Lee Smith Lee Smith Vision for U Coaching Tel: 0117 2302153 | visionforucoaching@gmail.com www.visionforu.co.uk