MIDDLE SCHOOL COUNSELING NIGHT C
September 12, 2019
Counseling Department
Mrs. Ashley Giljum
Grades 6-8
Ms. Peggy FitzGibbon
Grades 9-12; A-G
Mrs. Mary Bodlovich
Grades 9-12; H-M
Mrs. Adele Hayes
Grades 9-12; N-Z
Mrs. Alice O’Donnell
Administrative Assistant
Middle School Counseling Program
Individual & Small Group Sessions
Classroom Guidance Lessons 6th Grade – Study Skills & Girl Talk 7th Grade – Owning Up 8th Grade – Owning Up
CTP Online (ERB) Standardized Testing October 15-17, 2019 (Early dismissal at 11:30 on Wednesday Oct. 16)
“Your child, although progressing happily with her social, emotional, physical, and intellectual development to this point, upon entering middle school begins to embark on a major construction project to build the 3 things she needs to be an adult – a grown-up body, a mature brain, and a unique identity.” “This is her primary job in middle school – and it’s an awesome task.” (Middle School Makeover by Michelle Icard pg. 4)
ACADEMICS C
Academic Goals • Be resourceful • Be an advocate for themselves • Be successful • Be independent
• Increasing pressure, external and internal • Being “perfect”, high expectations • Stress, not just for adults anymore • Move from relying on extrinsic rewards (grades) to intrinsic rewards (feeling of accomplishment, improvement, effort) • De-emphasize grades • Celebrate learning and growth • Discussions vs. Rumination • Distraction, Coping Ideas & Anchor Activity From: Letting Go of Perfect by Jill L. Adelson & Hope E. Wilson The Drama Years by Haley Kilpatrick Untangled by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.
Stress & Perfectionism
Homework Expectations On average, 1.5 – 2 hours per night • Will vary based on rotating schedule and which classes drop • Advisory on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday – typically dedicated homework time or time to meet with teachers as needed
Viz Portal • Class information; homework, quiz & test dates • Viz calendar, news & resources
Daily Planner • Daily schedule, record homework, calendars, MS information
Laptops * Guidelines for use at home • • • •
Where? When? How long? Consequences?
* Monitoring Use • Use in a visible place • No minimizing • Software
SOCIAL LIFE C
Social Challenges Fitting in & belonging Making & changing friendships Cliques Mixers, parties & boys Body image & sexuality Exposure to alcohol, smoking/vaping & drugs Social media & the internet
Dealing with Challenges * Personal Responsibility • Allow them to handle own problems • Talk through situations, reserve judgement (neutral expression) • Help them learn through their challenges and failures
* Communication • Listen closely (complaining vs. venting, hot potato & externalization) • Share and discuss family values • Set clear expectations
Dealing with Challenges * Setting Limits • • • •
Make consequences known Consistency Be willing to be unpopular, not her friend Learn when to compromise
* Resiliency • Failure is necessary, learn through contrast
* Reach out for help when needed • Viz Faculty & Staff • Referrals
Dealing with Challenges Be Aware of Relationships
Be Aware of Technology
• Know your daughter’s friends and their parents • Talk to other parents • Notice changes
• Music • Movies/TV/Netflix • Social Media
Visit www.commonsensemedia.org to see reviews and ratings of TV shows, movies, music, websites, books, video games, apps, etc.
VIZ STUDENT FAVORITES C
6th Grade
(28/29 responded) Singer/Musical Group • • • • •
Taylor Swift Shawn Mendes Billie Eilish Post Malone Beatles
TV Shows • • • •
Stranger Things The Office Liv & Maddie Reality TV • Food Network • Project Runway • Say Yes to Dress • Nailed It
Website • YouTube • TikTok • Roblox
Social Media • Texting = 93% • TikTok = 64% • Skype/Factime = 61% • Snapchat = 36% • Instagram = 32%
7th Grade
(59/63 responded) Singer/Musical Group • • • • •
Ariana Grande Thomas Rhett Taylor Swift Shawn Mendes Billie Eilish
TV Shows • • • •
The Office Strange Things Friends No Good Nick
Website • • • •
YouTube Netflix Google Amazon
Social Media • Texting = 93% • Skype/Facetime = 75% • Snapchat = 59% • Instagram = 58% • TikTok = 58%
8th Grade
(41/49 responded) Singer/Musical Group Shawn Mendes Billie Eilish Ariana Grande Panic at the Disco • Imagine Dragons • Bangtan Boys (BTS) • • • •
TV Shows • • • •
Gossip Girl Stranger Things The Office Riverdale
Website • YouTube • Netflix • Amazon
Social Media • Texting = 82% • Skype/Facetime = 63% • Snapchat = 60% • Instagram = 60% • TikTok = 47%
Did you know? (Survey Results)
* Texting Amount * Cyberbullying * Support Groups * Bedtime * Average Hours of Sleep * Breakfast * Balance between extracurricular activities & time to relax * Source of stress & pressure
Parent Perspective (Survey Results)
CELL PHONES
LAPTOPS
PARENT EDUCATION
How much sleep do kids need? Â
MAY BE APPROPRIATE
NOT RECOMMENDED
AGE
RECOMMENDED
6-13 years
9 to 11 hours
7 to 8 hours 12 hours
Less than 7 hours More than 12 hours
14-17 years
8 to 10 hours
7 hours 11 hours
Less than 7 hours More than 11 hours
National Sleep Foundation - https://www.sleepfoundation.org/
• Untangled by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. • Letting Go of Perfect by Jill L. Anderson, Ph.D. & Hope E. Wilson, Ph.D. • The Drama Years by Haley Kilpatrick (Founder of Girl Talk) • Boys & Girls Learn Differently by Michael Gurian • The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian • Middle School Makeover by Michelle Icard • A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens by Joani Geltman, MSW
Book Recommendations & Resources
CONTACT? C
ASHLEY GILJUM agiljum@visitationacademy.org or 314.625.9225