September 26, 2024
“MIDDLE SCHOOLYEARS ARE ATIME OF RAPID GROWTH;THE ONLY OTHER TIME IN A CHILD’S LIFEWHENTHEY CHANGEDTHIS RAPIDLYWAS BETWEEN BIRTH AND AGE 2.”
- PHYLLIS L. FAGELL, LCPC
Who am I? Am I normal? Do I fit in?
CatieTyler (Montessori – Grade 5 and Grades 6-8)
Ashley Giljum (Grades 6-8)
Stephanie Sparks (Grade 9)
Mary Bodlovich (Grades 10-12)
Chrissy Boyce (Grades 10-12)
KarenVerstraete (Grades 10-12)
Meghan Swaller (Administrative Assistant)
Individual Sessions
- Student Check-Ins
Small Group Sessions
- Meetings with small groups of students
Classroom Lessons
- 6th Grade Quarterly Sessions and GirlTalk
- 7/8th Grade Owning Up
ERBTesting
- October 8-10 (early dismissal at 11:30am on October 10)
Parent Communication
- Monthly Newsletters
- Parent Programming
- MS Camp, Orientation, andTransition Meetings with new students
- Study Skills Class (for 6th graders – 1st quarter)
- MSWellness Club (open to all 6-8th graders)
- Study Skills Club (open to all 7th and new 8th graders)
- Peer to PeerTutoring
- Cotillion by Etiquette St. Louis (8th graders)
- CHADS – SOS “Signs of Suicide” Presentation (October/November for 6-8th)
- Girls on Board Parent Presentation – October 29
- MS Parent Speaker Night (Feb/March –TBD)
1- Make good friend choices.
4 - Create homework and organization systems.
7 - Self-regulate emotions.
9 - Make responsible, healthy, and ethical choices.
2 - Negotiate conflict.
5 - Consider others’ perspectives.
8 - Cultivate passions and recognize limitations.
10 - Create and innovate.
3 - Manage student-teacher mismatch.
6 - Self-advocate.
Source – Fagell presentation, December 5, 2019
Academics & Scaffolding of Responsibilities
…and 8 teachers and 8 classes!
On average, 1-2 hours per night
-Will vary based upon schedule and which classes drop - Increase each year
- Advisory/Enrichment
- Class Information; homework, quiz, test dates (test calendar)
- Link on Advisor Bulletin Board page
-Viz Calendar, News, and Resources
Viz Planner
- Daily Schedule
- Record homework
- Calendars
- MS Information
•How can parents help?
- Allow your child to advocate for herself
1 Accept that real growth often results from short-term disappointment
3
2 Keep things in perspective
Communication During the School Day –
How to handle communication during the school day with your student?
Unless a student must leave, encourage them to stay and participate.
What constitutes an emergency for missing class vs. scheduling a Counseling appointment at school?
Fitting In, Friendships, and Changing Friendships
Social Media &Technology
Stress, Anxiety & Coping Strategies
Body Image
Parties, Mixers & Exposure to Drugs, Alcohol,Vaping
“It’s (social conflict) not only normal, it’s imperative.Through conflict, kids learn how to take responsibility for their actions and how to pick “right-fit” friends.” - Fagell
A one-time event Usually a one-time event Is repeated and/or systematic Usually involves a balance of power Usually involves a balance of power Involves an imbalance of power
Example – “Have you ever thought about coloring your hair…?”
Example – “Everyone thinks you are so dumb.”
Example –Verbal aggression, relational aggression, cyberbullying
An approach to help girls, aged 8-18, navigate the choppy waters of friendship problems.
Every girl needs a friend.
Girls need to find things to bond over.
Don’t ever assume you know the full story & mediation between girls rarely works.
If the story you are hearing does not point to bullying or specific wrongdoing, be a listening ear.
The approach will empower girls to sort out own friendship problems and minimize the distress they might experience.
•How can parents help?
Do not try to micromanage unless bullying is REALLY happening.
Model good relational attitudes to fellow human beings..
Acknowledge that your daughter is changing.
Stay connected but don’t push it.
Be there for her; listen and comfort but try hard NOT to offer solutions.
Monitor social media, internet activity, and messages.
“Support her, love her, listen to her, and she will find her own way…”
“How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness”
By:Jonathan Haidt
•
“Overprotection in the real world and under protection in the virtual world”
•RealWorld vs.VirtualWorld
•Four Harms
•How can parents help?
•Four Reforms from Anxious Generation book
•Open and Honest Conversations
•Approach from an education standpoint
•Modeling behavior
Technology Contract and Home Rules – from school and parents
Bark App and website
Facebook Group – “Parenting in aTechWorld”
Circle App
Common Sense Media
Monitoring software –WebWatcher or NetNanny (please informViz if using)
What your students want you to know about life
- Patience - Empathy - Boundaries - Understanding - Trust -
Taylor Swift
Zach Bryan
Tate McCray
“Gilmore Girls”
“Summer ITurned Pretty”
Tie –
“Modern Family”
“Young Sheldon”
“Outer Banks”
“Love Island”
YouTube
Games
Shopping Roblox
- Time on phones
- Cyberbullying
- Sleep
- Breakfast
- Balance between activities, school, time to relax
- Source of stress and pressure
•How can parents help?
• Be gentle with everyone – especially yourself
• Help your daughter develop a self-care toolkit – you can create one too!
• Focus on safety and attachment –spend time strengthening connections
• Find humor, focus on what you can control and look for opportunities to be grateful
• Remind yourself (& family) this is temporary
• Adjust expectations and practice radical self acceptance – no one can do it all!
• Reach out for help – who is in your village?
Girls on Board - https://www.girlsonboard.co.uk/
Mental Health America - https://mhanational.org/young-minds/toolkit
Article – “Not All Conflict is Bullying:Teaching Students the Difference” (Tutt, 2023)
https://www.edutopia.org/article/bullying-social-conflict-middle-school/
Article – “ToThrive in Middle School and Beyond, and the Middle SchoolYears a 360View” (National Academy of Sciences, 2021) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK571182/
Article – “Social Media andYouth Mental Health” (The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, 2023)
https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/23/surgeon-general-issues-new-advisory-about-effects-social-me dia-use-has-youth-mental-health.html
Article – “Health Advisory on Social Media Use in Adolescence” (American Psychological Association, 2023)
https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media-internet/health-advisory-adolescent-social-media-use
Article – “Teens and Social Media Use:What’s the Impact” (Mayo Clinic, 2024)
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-and-social-media-use/
art-20474437
Article – “Gen Zers toTheir Parents:WhenWe Are Upset, Just Listen” (Hrynowski, Gallup, 2024)
https://news.gallup.com/poll/647687/gen-zers-parents-upset-listen.aspx