M I N I S T RY | C O U N S E L I N G
Ministry to the Grieving No one should have to navigate bereavement alone. By MARY BETH WOLL
G
rieving people travel a different journey than the rest of the congregation. And on this difficult path, they need special care and consideration. Two years ago I lost my husband, Bob, an Assemblies of God minister. After nearly 39 years of marriage and 20 years of shared ministry, Bob received a devastating diagnosis. Three months later, he was gone — and I was shattered. I had been a therapist for 14 years. I had counseled many clients through grief. But when it was my turn, grief felt more excruciating than I ever imagined and lasted much longer than I thought I could bear. Thankfully, I did have an important lifeline: my church, family and friends. Many others do not have this support. Though pastors want to help, many are not trained to care for those who are walking through their personal valley of the shadow of death. The Grief Process When someone dies, those left behind may experience the five classic stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance — though the process seldom happens in a neat and orderly fashion. In GriefWork, Fran Zamore and Ester R.A. Leutenberg describe a three-stage grief journey: shock, disorganization, and reorganization. However grief manifests, mourners need commensurate levels of support from their communities. Church leaders cannot do it all — nor should they try. Yet pastoral care is critical to the recovery of the wounded.
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Summer 2021
