Vol VII • Issue 11 • December 2008
2 | Vital Source
inside vital
December 2008 | vol. 7 issue 11
COVERED 6 VITAL’s 2008 HOLIDAY FUN GUIDE Fun for the holidays
>> by Erin Lee Petersen
12 UNDER 25 GIFT GUIDE
12
Thoughtful, local & cheap
>> by Nick Schurk
INSIDE 4
THE EDITOR’S DESK
Imagine if you will...
>> By Jon Anne Willow 18 REEL MILWAUKEE
6
Obligatory year-end article … Go!
>> By Howie Goldklang
24 VITAL’S PICKS Where VITAL will be in December
19 EAT THIS
>> By Erin Lee Petersen + Judity Ann Moriarty
A fresh catch for New Year’s Eve
>> By Catherine McGarry Miller
27 SLIGHTLY CRUNCHY PARENT I’ll be seeing you...
20 STAGES
>> By Lucky Tomaszek
Making a list, checking it twice
>> By Ryan Findley
28
22 BEHIND THE SCAFFOLDING A freshman’s time to shine; ERC ghost haunts Barrett
>> By Dan Corcoran 23 THE FUNNY PAGE
MUSIC REVIEWS + RELEASES
THIS MONTH’S COVER ARTIST
Husband-and-wife team J W & Melissa Buchanan first made a name for themselves designing and printing silk-screened concert posters. They soon branched out, designing fancy junk for whoever would pay them money. Their awards include honors from the Art Directors’ Club, American Illustration and Communication Arts. Check out their work at Thelittlefriendsofprintmaking.com
@ VITALSOURCEMAG.COM
30 SUBVERSIONS >> By Matt Wild 31 PUZZLES Plus November crossword answers
Good news about the economy Mehrdad Dalamie mjdalamie@vitalsourcemag.com
A white Christmas, a clean house Lucky Tomaszek ltomaszek@vitalsourcemag.com
A date Noah Therrien vitalvideos@gmail.com
A pony Jon Anne Willow jwillow@vitalsourcemag.com
House training for the dog Cate Miller eatthis@vitalsourcemag.com
A mustard tiger Zach Bartel
A vacation Amy Elliott aelliott@vitalsourcemag.com
Montana Matt Wild subversions@vitalsourcemag.com
A bottle of Old Crow, a blow dryer Bridget Brave bbrave@vitalsourcemag.com
Peace on earth Howie Goldklang reelmilwaukee@vitalsourcemag.com
You Ryan Findley rfindley@vitalsourcemag.com
State-shared revenue Dan Corcoran dcorcoran@vitalsourcemag.com
A stereophonic hi-fi Pete Hammill music@vitalsourcemag.com
A hippopotamus Erin Lee Petersen calendar@vitalsorucemag.com
New stuff every day! Blogs, videos, features, reviews, comprehensive arts and gallery guides, local events, weather, news headlines, and more..
Widgets J. Swan A raise Kat Berger, Troy Butero, Jason Groschopf, A.L. Herzog, DJ Hostettler, Koffeebot, Judith Ann Moriarty, David Rees, David Schrubbe, Nick Schurk, David Szymanski, Erin Wolf, The Little Friends of Printmaking Distribution Each month, 20,000 copies of VITAL Source are available free at over 600 metro locations. Additional copies $2 each. Send request, with check or money order made to VITAL Source, at the address below. Call to ensure avail-
ability of requested materials, or email inquiries to: info@vitalsourcemag.com. Most material herein belongs to Vital Publications, LLC, and cannot be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. Reprint and copyright inquiries must be made in writing. Subscriptions are available for $27 per year. Send check or money order, attn: Subscriptions, to address below. VITAL Source Magazine 133 W. Pittsburgh Ave., Ste. 409 Milwaukee, WI 53204 Phone: 414.372.5351 Fax: 414.372.5356 On the Web vitalsourcemag.com myspace.com/vitalsource vitalsource.tumblr.com twitter.com/vitalsourcemag PLUS: We’re on Facebook! Search for “VITAL Source” and be our friend.
more at vitalsourcemag.com
Vital source The editor’s desk Imagine if you will… It’s been a long and grinding year, from the shotgun start of the presidential primaries to the historic election of Barack Obama and the concurrent (though unrelated) collapse of financial markets worldwide. You were there – you know – and you don’t need me to offer up yet another post-mortem on a year that can only be categorized as monumentally historic. Besides, the story of these times is so far from written that summarizing right now seems pointless. Instead, I humbly request that I be among the first to wish you peace, hope and better sleep in the new year. Don’t snort: the chance of my wish coming true is at least as strong as that of me getting a pony for Christmas. Please don’t feel responsible for making my equine holiday wish a reality; at this point in my life, if I ever decide that I must have my own pony I’ll find a way to make it happen. And you can find a way to grant yourself peace and restful nights: it’s actually within your reach, and I’m going to share the secret with you now. Remember when you were little and it was time to get ready for bed? Your parents would have you put away your stuff, take a bath and put on your jammies. Sometimes you’d have a snack and then crawl into your warm bed with a book or the radio playing quietly. Eventually you’d turn off the light and drift down into unconsciousness, thoughts of the day just past or the day ahead curling like mist around your dream factory, priming the pump for the night to come. Your details might be different from these, but the outcome is the same: a graceful transition from the chaos of the day into the solace of sleep, a chance to regenerate and face the new morning head-on. I neglected this ritual for nearly three decades. As a typical young adult I flew from bed to school or work, from obligated time into a frenzied social life, slamming back into bed late and crashing hard (or staring at the ceiling for hours) until my alarm clock pulled me with a squawk from my mattress once again. I didn’t prioritize it as a single mom and new business owner, either. How could I? Time becomes so compressed for grownups, until you look in the mirror one morning and realize that you’ve aged, the lines and gray hair informing you in no uncertain terms that there’s no traveling backwards. You can’t stop time and the inexorable hunger of its advances. Time is like fire: always consuming you, even as it paves the way for new beginnings. But you can steal from time – a moment here and there – and reclaim yourself. I can attest that the moments you take back from the voracity of the daily grind are well-invested, replenishing your under-valued emotional and spiritual reservoir and providing a source of strength from which to draw in times of need. This is how I do it: before I fall asleep, I think about things I’ve learned recently. I try not to masticate on problem-solving or worry, but rather just roam the wide world of knowing. For instance, this year I learned that there is no focused scholarly effort to study, understand or preserve the Great Wall of China. How can that be? I also learned that no matter how hard you try to make everyone happy and healthy, the people in your life have to process situations in their own way, and sometimes things just are what they are until they evolve into something else. I learned a few things about baking – always my culinary weakness – that have opened new doors of kitchen creativity. And every once in awhile I buy a lottery ticket, then lay in bed imagining what I would do with millions of dollars. Everyone has something that fascinates them, whether it’s personal reflection or a random magazine article that unexpectedly resonates beyond the reading. The secret, I believe, to reclaiming yourself (after all, in the end,
>>by jon anne willow
it is your life), is to re-acquaint yourself with your childhood friend, imagination, who waits forever patiently like Pooh for a grown-up Christopher Robin. Imagination doesn’t need your adult self to create fantasy worlds that absorb your waking thoughts for endless summers on end; it’s content to play whatever role you have available. And in these times of great uncertainty, imagination is one of the keys to hope. The daily churn of consuming routine is not serving the world – or the people in it – well, and far-out possibilities must now be imagined. It starts with each of us. At VITAL, we reconnected this month with our collective imaginations in making predictions for 2009. Some may seem absurd, but Amy Elliott’s prediction for 2008 that the 1890s would make a roaring comeback has borne out in the profusion of string bands and crinoline overtaking the local music scene, which proves just about anything can happen. Read these and then take your own guesses – but don’t spend too much time worrying about what’s possible. You just never know. VS JON ANNE WILLOW – CO-PUBLISHER, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF No matter how hard Wall Street works to lure private investors back into the market, ordinary citizens will go back to saving the old fashioned way: stuffing cash in their mattresses. By June, Verlo will offer an all-new custom model, The Saver 3000, which will include a hidden chamber accessible only with a card and PIN number. Sure, they’ll be uncomfortable as hell to sleep on, but Verlo will sell scads of them to freaked-out Baby Boomers, not only securing their own financial future but providing hundreds of jobs right here in Wisconsin. The Obama Administration’s new motto will be “A windmill in every yard.” AMY ELLIOTT – MANAGING EDITOR In 2009, the stupid but prevalently held idea that “deaths happen in threes” will take on a whole new level of mystical garbage meaning when a trio of prominent world leaders – Kim Jong-Il, Fidel Castro and, in a “freak accident,” Vladimir Putin – kick the bucket. Somali pirates will take over Cuba, Moscow will be annexed by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and North Korea will allow Kim Jong-Il to rule from the grave. Also meeting their demise in 2009: million-year-old and long-presumed-to-be-already-dead Structuralist philosopher Claude-Levi Strauss; actors Sidney Poitier and Peter O’Toole; former Chrysler CEO Lee Iacocca and the already mostly decayed Amy Winehouse. James Brown, on the other hand, will be crowned the Funk Messiah when he unceremoniously rises from the dead on Christmas day. BRIDGET BRAVE – PRODUCTION MANAGER After its victorious parlay into the national consciousness via the New York Times, the Journal-Sentinel’s “Wasted in Wisconsin” series will continue to spread, resulting in a five-part BBC series, MTV True Life Special (“I Drink in Wisconsin”), and several obscure Family Guy references. Milwaukee will celebrate by doing a shot every time the city is mentioned by name. RYAN FINDLEY – ADMINISTRATOR/FINE ARTS EDITOR Gas will make a head-spinning ricochet back to astronomical prices. This ricochet will bring the boomerang back into style with a vengeance. And speaking of vengeance, God will hold off on striking us dead because, in electing Barack Obama, Americans have bought ourselves a few years with which to prove we’re not the awful human beings and wretched global citizens we appear to be. So, no plagues of locusts or rivers of blood or any of that stuff. Which is kind of a nice thought.
Cont’d on pg. 11 >> 4 | editor ’s Desk | Vital Source | news+views
more at vitalsourcemag.com
Vital Source | 5
2008 VITAL Source
>>by erin lee petersen >> illustration by little friends of printmaking
hat can we say about the holidays? For most of us, this time of year can cause serious anxiety as we ultimately find ourselves shuffling from store to store, desperately trying to hold our own among ravenous holiday shoppers. And every year, we end up stuck at yet another awkward family dinner where we try our best not to get too drunk in front of relatives. Or maybe that’s just me. Luckily for us cynics, VITAL’s Holiday Guide has the antidote to all this winter drudgery with helpful hints on where to go to get into the holiday spirit and ensure that the season is entertaining and filled with all of the cheer we hear about in those Christmas songs. After a landmark year in so many emotionally huge ways, we need it more than ever. VS Milwaukee Coach & Carriage Holiday Rides Milwaukee Coach & Carriage 414-272-6873 or milwaukeecarriage.com There’s no better way to enjoy a brisk winter evening and take in all the glittery holiday festivities than with a horse-drawn carriage ride.
The Friday Night Snow Show: Fall Constellations UW-Milwaukee Manfred Olson Planetarium Through Dec. 12 414-229-4961 or planetarium.uwm.edu For an alternative method of getting into the spirit of the season, come to the planetarium for a weekly viewing of the night sky at 7:00 pm. Find out how to spot some special fall constellations and learn about their significance.
Holiday Lights Festival Pere Marquette Park, Cathedral Square Park, Ziedler Union Square Through Jan. 4 milwaukeedowntown.org Millions of twinkling lights brighten up downtown Milwaukee during this festive annual tradition. Come for dazzling lights, stay for family-friendly entertainment.
Downtown Jingle Bus The Shops of Grand Avenue Thursdays – Sundays through Jan. 4 Board the Jingle Bus for a 40-minute narrated tour of Milwaukee’s merriest holiday hot spots while enjoying hot cocoa and cookies.
6 | holiday fun guide | Vital Source | covered
more at vitalsourcemag.com
Holiday Floral Show Mitchell Park Conservatory Through Jan.4 414-649-9800 or countyparks.com Visit The Domes for a breathtaking Christmas show that features thousands of crimson and hybrid poinsettias, plus holiday concerts and performances.
Westown Indoor Market The Shops of Grand Avenue Through Feb. 11 414-276-6696 or westown.org The Westown Farmer’s Market has moved indoors for the winter. Come check out your favorite vendors while listening to live musical performances.
Leonard Bearstein Symphony Orchestra The Shops of Grand Avenue Through Jan. 3 414-224-0655 or grandavenueshops.com Join Leonard Bearstein and his 18-piece orchestra of bears as they perform our favorite holiday songs live in the Grande Avenue Mall. Whoa!
East Town Trees East Town Neighborhood Through Jan. 5 414-271-1416 or easttown.com See more than 30 wooden trees decorated by local businesses and retailers and scattered around in East Town.
Saturdays with Santa The Shops of Grand Avenue Through Dec.20 414-224-0655 or grandavenueshops.com Spend the afternoon making holiday crafts and listening to Radio Disney, but don’t forget to tell Santa what you want for Christmas!
Santa vs. The Snowman Humphrey IMAX Dome Theater, Milwaukee Public Museum Through Jan.4 414-319-4629 or mpm.edu See what happens when you combine Santa, a jealous snowman bent on stealing St. Nick’s fire and squirt guns filled with hot chocolate.
Mystery of the Christmas Star Humphrey IMAX Dome Theater, Milwaukee Public Museum Through Jan.4 414-319-4629 or mpm.edu Travel back in time to the birth of Jesus to investigate the origins of the Star of Bethlehem in this modern adaptation of the Christmas story.
M&I Bank Holiday Display M&I Bank, 770 N. Water Street Dec. 1 – Jan. 5 414-765-7700 or mibank.com/holiday Come and check out M&I’s famous holiday display, featuring more than 50 life-sized costumed Steiff animals.
Cont’d on pg. 8 >>
covered | Vital Source | holiday fun guide | 7
Forest of Holiday Trees Winter Constellations UW-Milwaukee Manfred Olson Planetarium Dec. 3 – 14 414-229-4961 or planetarium.uwm.edu The UWM Theatre Department brings the winter skies to life with some stellar storytelling. Come and learn about the myths behind the constellations and get excited about scientific discovery!
Slice of Ice Red Arrow Park Opens Dec. 4 (weather permitting) 414-257-PARK or countyparks.com Bring friends and family down for a skate in the park this winter season. Opening day features free skate rentals!
East Town Holiday Market Dec. 4 Chase Tower, Water & Wisconsin 414-271-1416 or easttown.com Peruse great holiday gifts made by Wisconsin artists and pick up gift certificates to great local restaurants and retailers.
Winter Voices Milwaukee Public Theatre Dec. 5 414-347-1685 or milwaukeepublictheatre.org Milwaukee Public Theatre presents this original production to honor the change of seasons and Native American culture with traditional music and dance.
Christmas in The Ward Historic Third Ward – Catalano Square Dec. 5 – Dec. 6 414-273-1173 or historicthirdward.org Tell Santa what you want for Christmas at Jolly’s outdoor gingerbread house and stick around for carriage rides, a tree lighting and shopping!
Brady Street Festivus Brady Street Dec. 5 bradyst.com Whether or not Christmas is your thing, head down to Brady Street for some holiday cheer, shopping and competitions, including the ever-popular Airing of Grievances. It’s for the rest of us!Fantastic
Our Milwaukee Buy Local Fair
Milwaukee County Zoo Dec. 5 – Jan. 5 414-771-5500 or milwaukeezoo.org Wander an enchanted forest of child-decorated holiday trees. Just because it’s not warm out doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the zoo; what’s more lovely than light displays and polar bears?
Urban Ecology Center Dec. 6 ourmilwaukee.net Support the community and strengthen our economic base this holiday season by buying local. Find unique holiday gifts and use your money to support local businesses and nonprofit organizations.
European Holiday Village
Breakfast & Lunch with Santa
Milwaukee Public Museum Dec. 5 – Dec. 6 414-278-2702 or mpm.edu Stroll through the Streets of Old Milwaukee to see traditional European holiday décor at the turn of the century.
Milwaukee County Zoo Weekends, Dec. 6 - 21 414-771-5500 or milwaukeezoo.org The entire family can enjoy a special breakfast or lunch with Father Christmas this holiday season. Afterward, visit the animals!
Artisan & Entrepreneur Holiday Market
Saturdays at Central
Discovery World Dec. 6 414-765-9966 or disoveryworld.org Peruse one-of-a-kind handmade work by over 20 local vendors and artisans and enjoy live music, DIY workshops, hot chocolate and complimentary gift-wrapping.
Holidays at The Lighthouse North Point Lighthouse in Lake Park Dec. 6 bayviewneighborhood.org 414-332-6754 or northpointlighthouse.org Climb the festively decorated lighthouse to visit the keeper’s quarters, where you can make crafts, sit on Santa’s lap and enjoy a few Christmas cookies while listening to live music.
KK Holiday: It’s a Wonderful Life in Bay View Dec. 6 Head south for a holiday art crawl along the shops of KK between Beecher and Lincoln. Stick around for a silent auction, wine tasting, carolers and cheerily decorated storefronts.
The International Gift Shop Quaker Meeting House, 3224 N. Gordon Pl. Dec. 6 414-263-2111 or milwaukeequakers.org Shop for eclectic holiday gifts from around the world and help support non-profit Quaker organizations. Enjoy hot drinks and hearty eats in the café and bring a non-perishable food item to donate to Second Harvest.
Milwaukee Public Library - Central Dec. 6 & 20 414-286-3091 or mpl.org Bring the kids to the library on Dec. 6 to build their own gingerbread houses and stop back on the 20th for seasonal stories and songs!
Breakfast with Santa The Pfister Hotel Dec. 6, 13 and 20 800-558-8222 or pfisterhotel.com Children can enjoy a magical breakfast with Santa and his elves in the Pfister’s lovely Imperial Ballroom and receive a special Christmas gift from the man himself!
Teddy Bear Tea The Pfister Hotel Dec. 6, 13 and 20 800-558-8222 or pfisterhotel.com Bring the tots down for a holiday tea with Mrs. Claus and bring along a new teddy bear to donate to Milwaukee children in need this holiday season.
Walker’s Winter Wonderland Holiday Bazaar Walker Elementary School Dec. 6 wawm.k12.wi.us Local home-based businesses and crafters will be selling their wares at this kid-friendly gift fair. Kids of all ages can visit Santa’s workshop to buy gifts for friends and family with the help of Santa’s elves.
Cont’d on pg. 10 >> 8 | holiday fun gu ide | Vital Source | covered
more at vitalsourcemag.com
covered | Vital Source | holiday fun guide | 9
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 8
Jolly Holly Folly Milwaukee Center Rotunda Dec. 7 800-359-9272 or arcw.org Enjoy delicious edibles from Milwaukee restaurants and catch the Milwaukee Repertory Theatre’s presentation of The Blonde, The Brunette and The Vengeful Redhead at this annual benefit for the AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin.
Boerner’s Holiday Celebration Boerner Botanical Gardens Dec. 7 414-525-5635 or boernerbotanicalgardens.org Come down to the lovely Boerner Botanical Gardens for a gingerbread brunch with Santa, sponsored by Bartolotta’s Catering. Stick around after the meal for storytelling and crafts with Santa!
Music in the Museum Milwaukee Art Museum – Windhover Hall Dec. 9 414-224-3200 or mam.org An annual holiday concert with Dr. Jeffrey Hollander playing selections from Frank Sinatra and the swing era. While you’re there, visit the Museum’s seasonally displayed 18th-century Neopolitan Creche.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Harlem Globetrotters
Bradley Center Dec. 14 414-276-4545 or ticketmaster.com Trans-Siberian Orchestra , the NYC rock orchestra best known for their heavy renditions of traditional Christmas songs, bring their exhilarating live show to the Bradley Center this season. Performances at 3 pm and 7:30 pm.
Bradley Center 414-276-4545 or ticketmaster.com Come see the Globetrotters do what they do best - a Milwaukee family tradition for almost 40 years!
Mannheim Steamroller The Milwaukee Theatre Dec. 23 414-908-6001 or milwaukeetheatre.org Celebrate the spirit of the season with the popular “18th century rock band” playing your holiday favorites with a synth-y twist.
Winter Break Fun Betty Brinn Children’s Museum Dec. 29 – Jan. 2 414-390-KIDS or bbcmkids.org A winter wonderland of fun for kids during winter break! Participate in educational games, stories and crafts or build your own igloo!
Riverside Theater 414-286-3663 or pabsttheater.org Cake is back for another New Year’s celebration in Milwaukee, so grab a beer and get ready to go the distance on a night of non-stop action.
New Year’s Eve at Red Arrow Park Red Arrow Park 414-257-PARK or countyparks.com Come for outdoor ice-skating against picturesque city views and stay for a dazzling fireworks display when the ball drops.
New Year’s Eve Under Glass
Harry Connick, Jr.
St. Ann Center Dec. 13 414-977-5000 or stanncenter.org Santa takes time out of his busy schedule for a special brunch at the St. Ann Center. Shop for gifts in Santa’s Workshop and stick around for a magic show and cookie decorating, but don’t forget to have your picture taken on Santa’s lap!
CAKE
MSO: Breaking Through to Joy
Sharon Lynne Wilson Center for the Arts Dec. 10 262-781-9520 or wilson-center.com Vocal jazz group Five By Design creates a holiday musical retrospective, playing Christmas favorites. Plus, sample delicious cookies from the Wilson Center’s first-ever Holiday Cookie Contest.
Brunch with Santa
The Pfister Hotel 800-558-8222 or pfisterhotel.com Say hello to 2009 in style with an intimate fivecourse gourmet dinner and ballroom dancing to the music of The Nick Contorno Orchestra.
Marcus Center for the Performing Arts 414-273-7206 or mso.org The Symphony and special guests welcome the new year with Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto, K. 191 and Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 “Ode to Joy.”
Community Holiday Party
Riverside Theater Dec. 12 414-286-3663 or riversidetheater.org Harry Connick, Jr. and his big band bring the yuletide spirit to Milwaukee with The Holiday Celebration tour.
Pfister New Year’s Eve Celebration
Jim Gaffigan Pabst Theater Dec. 30 – 31 414-286-3663 or pabsttheater.org Check out hilarious comedian (and the other half of Pale Force!) Jim Gaffigan on New Year’s Eve live at The Pabst and laugh your way into 2009.
New Year’s Eve at Noon Betty Brinn Children’s Museum 414-390-KIDS or bbcmkids.org New Year’s can be fun for kids too! They’ll get to make their own party hats and noise makers and ring in the new year a bit early with a juice toast!
10 | holiday Fun guide | Vital Source | covered
Mitchell Park Conservatory 414-649-9800 or countyparks.com Welcome 2009 at The Domes! Experience a desert oasis, a tropical jungle and a lush floral garden all in one place, and see them transform after nightfall when you are treated to a fantastic light show.
Miller Free Rides millerfreerides.com Whatever you do this New Year’s Eve, make sure you do it safely. Hop on for a free bus ride to and from your party destinations anywhere MCTS travels, courtesy of Miller Brewing Company.
more at vitalsourcemag.com
Call it: VITAL’s 2009 predictions for the New Year CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4
ERIN LEE PETERSEN – CALENDAR EDITOR Unsatisfied with the Bronze Fonz’s lukewarm reception but still high on patina chemicals, VISIT Milwaukee will collect funds to bronze other pop culture icons loosely associated with Wisconsin. By year’s end, visitors to Milwaukee will be able to take souvenir pictures with Laverne & Shirley, the gang from That ‘70s Show and the entire cast of former TGIF fave Step by Step. The city’s main attraction, however, will be a life-sized depiction of that scene in Wayne’s World where Alice Cooper explains the Algonquin origins of Milwaukee to Wayne and Garth. Erin Lee Petersen will continue to exchange the word “shit” for any word beginning with the digraph Sh. For no apparent reason. LUCKY TOMASZEK Columnist, SLIGHTLY CRUNCHY PARENT Waves of cold and heat will plague the interior of our homes as no one can afford to use their furnace, central air units or even ceiling fans. As a result, most members of our community will resemble the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man until spring, and “naturalists” throughout the summer. What fall will bring remains to be seen. HOWIE GOLDKLANG – Columnist, REEL MILWAUKEE Luke Eshleman, (dudaluke@hotmail.com or 262408-0134), will lose his virginity. Obama will change the national anthem to Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio will do a Scooby Doo mask rip-off to reveal he is really Jerry Garcia, who faked his own death. CATHERINE McGARRY MILLER – Columnist, EAT THIS The election of Barack Obama confirmed his campaign promise – “Yes We Can.” But the campaign win was really a beginning, not an end. We will all have to step up to the plate to help President Obama realize his immense potential. I believe we will. The question is how to make that happen. But I believe that somehow, yes, we can. STELLA CRETEK – Visual arts writer/blogger, DEM BONES The art funding well will run dry. Only those with long arms will be able to fill the money bucket. President Obama will swing neither left nor right. Sarah Palin will write a book and hopefully fade into the Alaskan landscape. Stella hopes to be around to predict 2010.
DJ HOSTETTLER – Music writer/blogger, CULTURAL ZERO Matt Wild will start a new “freak jug” band that rapidly ascends to local stardom due to its 15 band members and prominent use of “quirky” instruments like washboard and wood-polein-metal-tub bass. Wild Frontier’s accordionist, Amy Elliott, will grace the cover of Shepherd Express five times. The Republican Party, wrestling with its identity in the wake of the 2008 elections, will fall into civil war and literally devour itself. The Wisconsin National Guard will be forced to quarantine the entire city of Waukesha after it collapses into a conservative zombie apocalypse (that is, an apocalypse of conservative zombies. The apocalypse itself will be far too gruesome to be considered “conservative”). The Milwaukee Brewers will re-sign CC Sabathia, who will proceed to dislodge his arm from his body during his 206th pitch in a 14inning complete game. Section 112 will storm the field in an attempt to devour the severed arm, as that section will be filled with Republican Waukesha zombies who came in on a party bus. A zombie party bus. ERIN WOLF – SENIOR MUSIC WRITER In 2007, my car was the almost-victim of an attempted mass car hijacking. Luckily, that V6 totally saved its can (and mine)! In 2008, it was punched by a random angry person who was waiting for a bus while I was halted at a stoplight. I’m not sure why. Is this what one could call a ‘drive-by punching’? In 2009, I predict that my car will suffer something even more spectacular. Possibly a swarm of locusts will descend from a blizzard-torn sky and invade it while I’m driving over the Hoan Bridge. Perhaps a wayward car, filled with evil clowns armed with flaming, poisonous arrows will shoot my tires out, or maybe a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex will fall out of the sky to chomp my car into digested nonexistence with one mighty gulp. It can only get crazier from here. Maybe it’s the right time to become a part of this ‘biketopia’ I keep hearing about and only partially participate in, although a ‘ride-by punching’ sounds a lot more sinister. In 2009, I’m gonna keep my hands on the steering wheel and see what new adventure comes my way. Send in the clowns!
NOAH THERRIEN – VITAL VIDEOS 2009 will be horribly depressing. Not only will most of us continue to feel helplessly alone, but those who are fortunate enough to be in committed and loving relationships will discover that their love for their significant other has vanished, only to be replaced by bitter animosity. Our co-workers will become increasingly passive-aggressive, the once-pleasant commuters on buses and trains across America will shoot each other vicious and hostile looks on a daily basis. Our food will taste terrible after an increasingly health-conscious President Obama outlaws salt; the sun will cease to shine for a record 187 consecutive days and the world as a whole will never tire of reminding us how little our lives matter. On a personal note, I hope to gain more love and understanding for my fellow man. R. MICHAEL GULL – Blogger, MESSIAH SIMPLEX Being French, as well as prescient as hell, I have been writing disturbingly accurate predictions in the form of quatrains for years. POLITICS In the year 2009 there will arise a new messiah The likes of which has not been seen since America’s bicentennial. His effectiveness will rival that of the farmer of the Arachis hypogaea. Terror will be commonplace as a nation is duped, while her enemies dance with glee ECONOMY In the three years before the end of the Mayan calendar. The value of currency and goods will erode. The economic structure will be reconfigured over and over. The only thing of value will be entertainment, as the World mourns her own death. GAS PRICES As fuel becomes out of reach for common people Evolution will intervene, as she does in such circumstances. Providing all mankind with wings for flight. With the exception of the Dutch, who deserve nothing
Add your predictions online at vitalsourcemag.com. Click “Full Contents” from the home page!
News + Views | Vital Source | 2009 predictio ns | 11
Under 25 >>by NICK SCHURK
W
ith the country’s current, sorry eco n o m ic s t a t e , m an y ar e preparing for a Cratchit-like holiday season. If plummeting stocks have crippled your finances and threatened your stockings, you have two options: The first is to pull a “Gift of the Magi” and trade in your most prized possession for presents for your loved ones. But let’s be honest, your season one DVD box set of Wings isn’t going to get Ralphie that Red Rider BB gun he’s been clamoring for. Your best bet is to stick with your friends at VITAL, and let us show you some thoughtful, spirited local gif ts that cost $ 25 dollars or less. Keep your wallet, your family and friends happy, and keep your Wings DVD. VS
Adorable wares from hot*pop, for less than $25 a pop
PinoFunnel + more $17 - $25
hot*pop 414-273-1301, hotpopshop.com hot*pop opened in the Third Ward this spring, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen in Milwaukee: they advocate “good living through good design” and at their colorful store you can find apparel, sneakers, comic books, skate deck art, urban tableware, Hong Konginspired vinyl toys, as well as a gallery of local and national art. Among the dozens of bright, cheeky delights available, you can find a small funnel shaped like Pinocchio’s face (his nose is the funnel) that lets you get wine back into the bottle from the carafe. Great for the young at heart, street art lovers and people who obsessively collect small things.
Recycled t-shirts $7 T-shirts from Teecyle cute girl not included.
Teecycle Teecycle.org We all know how fun it is to find a hip, hilarious or just plain nice t-shirt buried in the racks at the thrift store. It’s great to wear it and tell people who like it that you paid a dollar for it.
12 | UNDER 25 | Vital Source | covered
But if you’re not so into the thrill of the chase, the hours of digging or the funny smell of thrift store clothing that never quite washes out, you’re in luck. Not only does Teecycle take all of that nasty hard work out of it, they donate $1 from every shirt sold to the River Revitalization Fund. Everyone wins! Teecycle’s cute gently used shirts are a bargain at $7 per, so buy one for everyone in your family.
Hand-made crafts $7 - $25
John Michael Kohler Arts Center 920-458-6144, jmkac.org The John Michael Kohler Arts Center is wellknown for its visual and per forming ar ts offerings, but the center’s ARTspace breaks the mold by merging a traditional museum gift shop with a curated exhibit of art with One and Only: Gifts Made by Hand. So if that special someone would love a decorative ceramic tumbler, a one-of-a-kind glass ornament (incorporating ash from Mount St. Helens), decorative felt wool flowers – all delivered with gorgeous hand-made cards – One and Only is sure to have just what you need.
Organic fair trade tea and gift sets
more at vitalsourcemag.com
$20 - $24
Rishi Tea rishi-tea.com If the nerves of some of your gift recipients are still shot from a turbulent election year, help them forget that a real life Ebenezer Scrooge was on the ballot last month with some of the world’s finest artisan teas. Milwaukee-based Rishi Tea recently cleaned house at the 2008 World Tea Awards, taking home seven best tea awards. Best of all, half-pounds of these highly-acclaimed teas – such as Rishi’s Peppermint Rooibos, China Breakfast and Earl Grey – can be purchased for less than a quarter of a Benji. Rishi’s limited edition holiday blend is an Organic Cinnamon Plum that’s sweet, tart and earthy, and some of the proceeds benefit the Clean Water Fund. You can also bring home a pretty tea set with a tiny single-serve infuser pot and black tea samples served up in a lovely bamboo basket.
Coffee samplers Black tea set with single-serving glass teapot from Rishi
and gift cards $10 - $25
Alterra Coffee Roasters 877-273-3747, alterracoffeepro.com Alterra just made your holiday shopping a lot easier. If you’re clueless abut the coffee lover on your list, a $25 gift certificate could be your saving grace. But why not step it up a little this year? Alterra offers affordable sampler packs that feature two pounds of its favorite coffees in four half-pound servings! The company touts these packs as “the perfect gift for the true coffee aficionado” – a bold statement (coffee pun not intended), but we challenge anyone to disagree. Try the Fair Trade/Organic sampler for the coffee drinker with a conscience or, for the gourmet, the Roastmaster’s Picks feature some of Alterra’s most sophisticated blends.
Concert tickets and gift certificates $10 - $25
The Past Theater, Riverside Theater, Turner Hall Ballroom 414-286-3663, pabsttheater.org Santa has been known to make early visits, and fans of indie rock darlings Alex Chilton, Juliana Hatfield and The Faint would certainly love it if the jolly ol’ fellow “forgot” what day it was and advanced them a ticket to any of the
upcoming shows from the above-listed artists. But for punctuality’s sake, a $25 gift certificate would be a great way to contribute to helping a loved one experience the New Year’s Eve performances of Cake or comedian Jim Gaffigan. And our friends at the Pabst have a habit of booking painfully awesome shows all year long, so don’t be surprised to see more of the amazing same in 2009. Maybe you’ll even be invited along!
Comic-to-film source material Around $20
Harry W. Schwartz Bookshops schwartzbooks.com Those comic books you always thought were just “kids’ stuff” are gaining a new surge in popularity due to more adult-oriented themes, the “graphic novel” moniker and an increased presence in recent cinema. And like any great film adaptation of a literary work (Beaches, anyone?), it’s important to read the book before trekking off to your local theater. There are a lot of promising comic films on the horizon. Luckily, Harry W. Schwartz has trades (big collections of comic book story arcs, for the unaware) for many of these high-profile movies, including
Cont’d on pg. 14 >>
covered | Vital Source | UNDER 25 gif t guide | 13
on a regular basis. The baskets contain 12 to 15 varieties of fruits and vegetables and can feed one to four people (depending on the price paid) for a week. Best of all, the baskets feature the seasonal offerings of Growing Power and the Rainbow Farmer’s Cooperative, making it unlikely that the recipient will ever get the same basket twice. Growing Power’s Will Allen just received a MacArthur Genius Grant, so reward brains, science, the earth AND the local community – all at once! WOAH!
Pantone mugs from W2, $13/ea
The mighty Eastside Dark from Lakefront Brewery.
Milwaukee Art Museum 414-224-3200, mam.org These are perfect for the designer, painter or color-lover in your life. Buy one by one to mix and match or grab a full color set for someone you really like. Give your friends colors that suit their personalities or shades you think would look good in their kitchen. If Pantone isn’t your thing, you could pick up a $25 gift certificate for the Museum store, which is full of classy and sassy souvenirs, books, jewelry and home wares. Or, for the student in your
life, purchase a $25 student membership that includes free general admission all year, plus tickets for feature exhibitions, reduced rates on classes, events and special programs and the lovely knowledge that they’re supporting one of Milwaukee’s most beloved cultural institutions.
Eco-conscious bath treats $6 – $24
Chartreuse 414-747-8434, hellochartreuse.com Bay View’s new eco-friendly boutique Chartreuse makes doing the right thing super sexy – and this year, downright cheap! Encourage your friends to indulge themselves with a walnut sugar scrub ($18), mineral salts ($16) and hemp oil lotion ($16) made in the U.S.A. naturally and sustainably. For the ultimate relax pack, pick up a few soy wax candles served up in 100% post-industrial recycled paper planters. And if you’ve got new members of your family or social circle, think about organic cot ton baby bibs or onesies from Kee-ka. Chartreuses is the real deal – no green washing here!
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13
The Essential Punisher and the complete masterpiece of Alan Moore’s Watchmen, ready to be gifted to your favorite nerd.
Cont’d on pg. 16 >>
Gourmet beers $7 - $12
Sendik’s Food Markets sendiks.com Sure, teas are great for soothing the jitters, but what about those who want to relax AND work towards the ultimate goal of permanent liver damage? A good beer may be just the right stocking-stuffer for these folks. The good people at Sendik’s Food Market have been kind enough to mark some of the finer brews they carry with official Beer Advocate and ratebeer.com scores, making alcohol selection as easy as twisting off the cap. VITAL recommends Delirum Nocturnum ($9.94 per pint) Double Dead Guy Ale ($10.99 per pint) and Lakefront Brewery’s Eastside Dark ($7.99 per six pack). The Lakefront beer is especially suggested if you are headed out-of-state for the holidays, since everyone loves to experience the real Milwaukee deal.
Organic produce baskets $9 - $16 per week
Growing Power 414-527-1546, growingpower.org Whether you’re looking to help the earth, support local urban farmers or get others to eat healthier, Growing Power’s market baskets are eco-friendly gifts that continue to give
14 | UNDER 25 | Vital Source | covered
more at vitalsourcemag.com
Vital Source | 15
not think of the gift shop as a destination in and of itself. But here’s the great part: you don’t have to pay admission to visit the gift shop, AND they’ve got a ton of fun, affordable gifts that everyone in the family will like. Scoop up Weird Wisconsin, a book celebrating our many strange state legacies, or a fluffy puppet wooly mammoth for a little one. Plus beautiful jewelry and accessories, holiday-themed presents like Christmas Goes to Sea, or a computer mouse with a real live bug preserved inside of it. Yuck! Or … awesome! Everything you could want - and more! - from the Milwaukee Public Museum store
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 14
Desserts made from scratch $8-$12
Comet Café 414-273-7677, thecometcafe.com Is there anything better than a homemade pie, a fresh pan of cupcakes or an enticing tray of tart, sugary lemon bars? The answer is yes: giving those things to someone you love. Comet makes it easy, especially if you’ve got vegans in your life. Give them a 48-hour heads up and they’ll bake you something amazing to bring to Mom and Dad, Aunt and Uncle or your favorite holiday host and hostess.
Toys/books/chachkis and more! $8 - $23
Milwaukee Public Museum 414-278-2728, mpm.edu There are SO many reasons to visit the Milwaukee Public Museum, especially during winter break when you’ve got lots of time to spend with the kids. And while everyone loves the mammoth, the whale skeleton, the rattlesnake button, the butterfly garden, the IMAX, Samson, the candy store in the Streets of Old Milwaukee and the Soref Planetarium you might
16 | UNDER 25 gif t guide | Vital Source | covered
Milwaukee Bucks tickets $10 and up
milwaukeebucks.com Basketball is great as it is, but there’s something especially lovely about basketball in the wintertime, and this winter, the Milwaukee Bucks are unusually promising. With this great December special, where most upper-level seats are available for just $10, you can afford to take your whole family to a thrilling, heated, unbearably exciting game. Or two! Why not, with prices this cheap? We’re willing to bet that this is the best deal in the NBA. And at the relatively intimate Bradley Center, no seat finds you too far from the action. Go Bucks!
more at vitalsourcemag.com
covered | Vital Source | UNDER 25 gif t guide | 17
>>By Howie Goldklang
Obligatory year-end article … Go! What a crazy year it’s been for independent film in Milwaukee! Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say to start these year-end warm ‘n’ fuzzies? I am trying as hard as I can not to write that everyone should have a Christmas Story leg lamp in their window or remind you how Clark Griswold’s accapella drum roll before he plugs in the Christmas lights in Christmas Vacation might be Chevy Chase’s finest on-screen moment. Not this year. No sentimental musing from me. I won’t say a peep about how Scrooged, Die Hard, Gremlins or even the sexed-up weirdness of Eyes Wide Shut should be a part of everyone’s holiday movie season. What? It takes place during Christmas! I won’t reach for nods of approval from hipsters with A Nightmare Before Christmas midnight screening references. You won’t find me snickering over egg nog at the Red Room about how the 1934 Laurel and Hardy classic Babes in Toyland lives on as NYC sex store Toys in Babeland. They switched the words around and sell dildos! Unreal! Nope. This year, my lips are sealed. Seriously, I am three days past deadline. I have been trying to concentrate on awesome Milwaukee film happenings in 2008 and big action in 2009. If you’ve read this far, you can see I’ve been struggling. That was until last night when I didn’t meet Faythe Levine at a semi-annual meeting for Our Milwaukee (ourmilwaukee.net), a grassroots organization advocating the whole think local/buy local/live local thing. I slinked into the meeting, did a lap around the bar (free Lakefront beer), did the name tag bit, found a friendly face, pulled up a chair. After a brief welcome from one of Our Milwaukee’s founders, Faythe was introduced to discuss her Milwaukee-based book-turned-documentary-film project Handmade Nation as well as her handmade gift fair, Art vs. Craft. I snuck onto my iPhone, Googled her name and found more information than I knew what to do with. According to her blog (indiecraftdocumentary.blogspot.com): Faythe Levine is a filmmaker, author, independent curator and creative director. She is currently documenting the rise of DIY and the new wave of art, craft and design. I got tired just reading that. She even has a whole Wikipedia page with a timeline and external links and everything! F that! The projector and PowerPoint fired up and her presentation about DIY and Milwaukee began. She was passionate and cool and ended her presentation with an eight-minute clip from Handmade Nation – and that’s when it hit me. I got up and went to the bathroom because three beers can break the seal. After that, another thing hit me. DIY is the sometimes forgotten but definite heart of independent film. Plain and simple. Sometimes that golden rule gets lost in the shuffle of million-dollar movie
18 | reel milwaukee | Vital Source | vital culture
ideas or fantasizing about what you’d say in your Oscar speech. Not like we’ve done that. Uh-oh … here come the warm ‘n’ fuzzies. This past year saw the fall of the Milwaukee International Film Festival and the kickass rise of the lean, mean indie film group Milwaukee Film. The 48 Hour Film Project rocked, the Times Cinema, Alchemist Theater and Oriental Theater all programmed a healthy share of local documentaries and feature films, the Milwaukee Short Film Fest and Milwaukee Film both screened diverse films for a diverse city (thanks 88.9fm), and five of the seven prestigious Nohl Awards for 2008 were granted to Milwaukee filmmakers. It’s happening, people! Ideas are turning into films! DIY-style filmmaking in Milwaukee! Yeah! What does this have to do with my not meeting Faythe Levine? I didn’t meet her for a lame reason: I had to leave the Our Milwaukee meeting early to get back to the salon. In retrospect this is kind of cool because I can define last night in my own way. Just knowing that Handmade Nation is out there – and that people are inspired by Milwaukee to get behind cameras to shoot and cut and screen – is inspiring, and a foothold reminder of what film is all about. From my little REEL Milwaukee corner, leaving that meeting and taking it in on the drive back to the shop was like my own mini Christmas movie ending, where everything feels right, it starts to snow happy snow and the dawn of a bright new, creative, grinding, insane, imaginative, artistic year of filmmaking in Milwaukee is there for the taking. See ya in 2009 … cue orchestra … Gonna go call Grandma and tell her I love her. VS
more at vitalsourcemag.com
eat this
Vital living
A fresh catch for New Year’s Eve >>Catherine McGarry Miller + photo by David Szymanski
Fill your favorite holiday glass with ice. Add homeinfused ginger vodka (recipe at vitalsourcemag. com!). Add in the ginger ale. Top with the cranberry juice and garnish with dried cranberries and candied ginger. Enjoy!
one tsp buttermilk to one cup cream and heat to 85 degrees, then let stand at a temperature of 60 to 85 degrees until it is thickened. Stir, then refrigerate until ready to use.
Chef Dan Smith’s Crab Cakes
Yields 4 servings
Yields about 20 4-oz cakes
Chef Dan Smith McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood Restaurant 414-475-0700 mccormickandschmicks.com “Fresh” comes to mind when I think of the seafood at McCormick & Schmick’s. The slightly briny oysters taste like they were just harvested and served at a seaside bistro instead of a restaurant landlocked in a shopping center parking lot. Chef Dan Smith uses a light hand in seasoning and saucing the daily menu’s 30-some varieties of fresh catch. “I love New Year’s Eve,” says Smith, “because people are ready to go out and have an awesome time and it’s almost a given that you’ll have no complaints, you’ll have happy people [who] want to be wined and dined and eat fussy food. So I usually pull out lobster, filet and truffles and truffle oil and morels because people are willing to pay for it.” Smith, who opened Envoy at the Ambassador Hotel in 2005 and spent 20 years cooking in San Francisco, including a stint with the renowned Jeremiah Tower’s Stars Restaurant, has fun cooking for his appreciative holiday customers. You will too when you try his special New Year’s Eve menu.
8 oz quartered mushrooms 4 T butter 8 oz small shrimp 8 oz bay scallops 4 cups cooked elbow macaroni 1.5 cups cheese sauce (recipe below) 3 T chopped chives 4 T grated Parmesan cheese 4 T bread crumbs Pinch of salt and pepper to taste
1 cup mayonnaise 4 large eggs, beaten 1 T old bay seasoning 1 t ground black pepper 1 t dry mustard 1 t kosher salt 1 t Worcestershire sauce 1 lb-loaf white bread, crust removed, diced 2.5 lbs lump crabmeat, pasteurized 1/3 cup chopped parsley Combine mayonnaise, eggs and seasonings in a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix bread, crabmeat and parsley. Gently fold sauce into crabmeat mix, taking care not to break up or mash crabmeat. Chill at least two hours. Form four- or eight-ounce cakes. Pan fry or deep fry the crab cakes until golden brown. Serve with lemons, tartar sauce or your favorite condiment.
Phyllo Wrapped Smoked Salmon with Crème Fraiche Mousse
Sautee mushrooms in butter until lightly browned. Add seafood and sauté for 1 to 2 minutes. Add cooked macaroni and stir. Add cheese sauce and blend thoroughly. Season with salt, pepper and chives. Place mixture in a casserole dish. Sprinkle with bread crumbs and the Parmesan cheese. Brown the scallops, add them to the top of the mixture and serve. Makes a great side dish for the holidays! Cheese sauce 3 T butter 3 T flour 1 ½ cups milk 1 cup sharp Wisconsin cheddar, grated 1/2 t salt 1/2 t dry mustard 1/8 t paprika
3 phyllo sheets 9 oz smoked salmon 2 oz crème fraiche 1 oz capers 1 oz egg white
Ginger Vodka Cooler
Lay phyllo on a flat surface and lightly brush with butter. Shingle 5 ounces of smoked salmon on bottom half of phyllo dough. Place salmon mousse (below) along bottom of phyllo. Roll up and refrigerate for 20 minutes. Bake in 300 degree oven until brown.
1.5 oz ginger-infused vodka 3 oz ginger ale 1 oz cranberry juice Dried cranberries Candied ginger
Salmon mousse In a food processor, add 4 oz smoked salmon, 2 oz crème fraiche, 1 oz capers, 1 oz egg whites and blend until thick. Add more crème fraiche if too thick. Crème fraiche is a naturally matured, slightly sour-flavored raw cream. To make your own, add
Ginger-infused vodka gives this cocktail a refreshing flavor.
Seafood Mac & Cheese
Melt butter in saucepan, then stir in flour until blended. Add milk slowly, constantly stirring until sauce is smooth and thickened. Add in cheese, stirring until completely melted. Season with salt, dry mustard and paprika. More recipes - for the amazing ginger-infused vodka used in the cooler recipe plus a New Year’s Day brunch menu - can be found at vitalsourcemag. com. We want you! Submit your recipes for consideration to eatthis@vitalsourcemag.com. We might use them in a future edition of Eat This!
vital Living | Vital Source | eat this | 19
Vital culture stages
Jeff tyzikmso pops 12/5-6
>>BY RYAN FINdLEY
Prometheus Trio 12/8-9
JOSE CONDE Y LA OLA FRESCA 12/6
Making a list, checking it twice December brings with it snow, ice and a plethora of holiday offerings on stages all over Milwaukee, including plenty of options if you’re looking for some new renditions of the standard fare. Falls Patio Players offers a musical version of the Dickensian tale featuring classic carols as well as original compositions, while Acacia Theatre returns to the days before television for its radio-style rendition of It’s A Wonderful Life. Jose Conde
THEATRICAL PREVIEWS A CUDAHY CAROLER CHRISTMAS In Tandem Theatre presents this Milwaukee holiday tradition – a tale of bowling, beer and friendship. It’s a one-of-a-kind Christmas experience for you and yours. December 3 – January 4 at the Marcus Center. 414-273-7206 or marcuscenter.org MILL FIRE The UWM Peck School Theater Department presents the story of a mill explosion and its aftermath in the lives of the women left behind. This exploration of grief and loss is part of its Lab/Works series in the Studio Theater. December 3 – 7. 414-229-4308 or arts.uwm.edu/theatre CHRISTMAS CAROL A musical version of the Dickens’ story presented by Falls Patio Players, co-written by two members of the company and including French and English carols as well as eight original songs. December 5 – 7. 262-255-8372 or fallspatioplayers.com RUDOLPH THE PISSED-OFF REINDEER Alchemist Theater offers this acerbic take on the red-nosed reindeer. December 5 – 20 at the new Bay View Lounge in the Alchemist Theater. 414-426-4169 or bayviewlounge.com IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE Sunset Playhouse presents this faithful adaptation of the beloved holiday movie. December 5 – 31. 262-782-4430 or sunsetplayhouse.com IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: A LIVE RADIO PLAY In a different take on the classic, Acacia Theatre Company presents this story as a radio play, utilizing the vocal talents of its actors and live radio sound effects. December 6 – 414-744-5995 or acaciatheatre.com
20 | stages | Vital Source | vital culture
Y La Ola Fresca offers a warm-weather take on the holiday with its tropical rhythms, and at the UWM Peck School, Your Mother Dances performs their decidedly comical (and perhaps irreverent?) version of the Nutcracker. Of course, if you’re a traditionalist, you can sate your need for holiday cheer of the non-toddy variety with any number of more staid choices.
THE BLONDE, THE BRUNETTE, AND THE VENGEFUL REDHEAD The Milwaukee Rep offers this counterpoint to the holiday season in the Quadracci Powerhouse Theater – a one-woman show dealing with love, anger, adultery, and revenge. December 9 – January 4. 224-9490 or milwaukeerep.com MIRACLE ON 34th STREET Waukesha Civic Theatre stages this classic tale of belief and the magic of Christmas December 12 – 21. 262-547-0708 or waukeshacivictheatre.org THREE SMART GIRLS Showing on the Sunset Playhouse’s Musical Mainstage, this reunion of Milwaukee’s premiere “girl group” runs December 15 and 16. 262-782-4430 or sunsetplayhouse.com WINTER TALES Next Act Theater presents John McGivern’s stories of winter at the OffBroadway Theater, generating laughs in your belly and a warm glow in your insides. December 16 – January 4 . 414-278-0765 or nextact.org GUYS ON ICE Back by popular demand, listen to ice-fishing buddies Marvin and Lloyd as they sing their way through life’s trials and tribulations. In the Steimke Theater December 17 – January 4. 414-224-9490 or milwaukeerep.com HOLIDAY PUNCH The zaniest Christmas show in Milwaukee is chock-full of mayhem and merriment at the Off the Wall Theatre, December 18 – 31. 414-327-3552 or offthewalltheatre.com ROSES IN DECEMBER This Milwaukee premiere is a touching story of acceptance and forgiveness by Victor Cahn. At the Boulevard Theatre in Bayview December 26 – January 18. 414-744-5757 or boulevardtheatre.com
more at vitalsourcemag.com
stages Vital culture MUSIC OF NOTE HOLIDAY PAJAMA JAMBOREE Festival City Symphony offers this seasonal sing-along, featuring the Milwaukee Children’s Choir. Wear your PJs and bring a snack – and/or non-perishable food items for donation to the Hunger Task Force. December 3 – 7 at the Marcus Center. 414-963-9067 or festivalcitysymphony.org FESTIVE SOIREE WITH ROBIN PLUER This two-night engagement of jazzy, soulful and decidedly Parisian music is part of the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music’s Conservatory Nights series. December 4 and 5. 414-276-5760 or wcmusic.org HOLIDAY POPS Join the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra Pops and foremost American pops conductor Jeff Tyzik for a magical winter sleigh ride full of warmth and cheer. December 5 and 6. 414-291-7605 or mso.org CHRISTMAS WITH JOSE CONDE Y LA OLA FRESCA December 6 at Alverno’s Pitman Theater, Jose Conde takes over the holiday season with a plethora of Caribbean, Latin, and African rhythms that will get you dancing in your seat. 414-382-6044 or alvernopresents.alverno.edu
DANCE SNOW Wild Space Dance Company interprets all the joys of winter, including blizzards, cabin fever, ice storms and shovels in this performance at the Steimke Theater. December 4 – 6. 414-271-0712 or wildspace.org NEW DANCEMAKERS: SYNERGY The UWM Peck School of Arts celebrates its 15th season providing a platform for emerging choreographers to showcase their work December 4 – 7. Two different programs offered. 414-229-4308 or uwm.edu/psoa NUT/CRACKED Milwaukee dance group Your Mother Dances (how embarrassing!) brings its Vaudevillian rendition of the classic ballet The Nutcracker to UWM’s Mainstage Theater December 11 – 14. 414-229-4608 or uwm.edu/psoa THE NUTCRACKER The Milwaukee Ballet presents Tchaikovsky’s timeless classic. Featuring the Milwaukee Ballet Company, students from the Ballet School and singing by the Milwaukee Children’s Choir. December 12 – 28. 414-902-2103 or milwaukeeballet.org
PROMETHEUS TRIO The Wisconsin Conservatory of Music Prometheus Trio Series continues December 8 and 9 with guest William Barnewitz on the French horn. 414276-5760 or wcmusic.org MESSIAH Sing along as Bel Canto Chorus performs Handel’s Messiah December 12 at the Sharon Lynne Wilson Center or December 14 at St. Monica Church. 414-481-8801 or belcanto.org ONE WORLD The Wisconsin Cream City Chorus observes the season with this program celebrating the diversity and the unity of the world’s religions. December 13 at the Unitarian Universalist Church West. 414-276-8787 or creamcitychorus.org AIR The Concord Chamber Orchestra continues its concert series based upon the four classical elements with this ode to air December 13 at the Basilica of St. Josaphat. 414-628-6018 or concordorchestra.org FIVE MILWAUKEE COMPOSERS The MacDowell Club of Milwaukee presents the works of five Milwaukee composers as part of its centennial season, December 14 at Cardinal Stritch University. Free performance! 414-264-8796 WINTER WONDERS All of the choirs of Milwaukee Children’s Choir will perform at this concert featuring music of all stripes, from Mozart and Handel to the Milwaukee premiere of a work by contemporary Chicago composer Paul Carey featuring cricket clickers. December 14 at Elmbrook Church. 414-221-7040 or milwaukeechildrenschoir.org
vital culture | Vital Source | stages | 21
Behind the Scaffolding
>>By Dan Corcoran
A freshman’s time to shine; ERC ghost haunts Barrett Pat on the back: After weeks and weeks of hearing that this was Mayor Barrett’s most difficult budget ever – and that fees and taxes had to be raised by a certain amount or fire fighters, police and libraries would be cut – the Common Council found a third and better option. Thanks to frosh alderman Nik Kovac (who happens to have a math degree from Harvard), the Council came up with the idea of moving the bulk of the fee increases from the solid waste fee (homeowners only) to the wastewater/tree pruning fee (homeowners, non-profits and businesses). The City of Milwaukee will get more money by capturing businesses and non-profits (hey, they have trees too) with the fee increases, but homeowners will actually pay less than they would have under the Mayor’s proposed budget. Not only that, but aldermen managed to restore libraries, fire fighters and police – and expand the summer jobs program to boot. The word around City Hall is that the Mayor’s Budget office is frustrated that they didn’t see the solution that Ald. Kovac and other Council members put forth. But no matter who came up with the idea, it puts Milwaukee in a much better position. Sick Day Fiasco: Speaking of putting the city in a better position, a group called 9to5 collected thousands and thousands of signatures earlier this year to enable something called “direct legislation” for more paid sick days for workers in the city of Milwaukee. (Full time workers would be eligible for nine days per year, if it is ever implemented.) Insiders say business organizations (e.g. the Metropolitan Milwaukee Association of Commerce) lobbied Mayor Barrett and Common Council President Hines pretty hard to come out against the ordinance, which went directly to a voter referendum without a chance for the Council to vote it down. Only Barrett took the bait, issuing a strong statement against more paid sick days for workers. What’s really interesting is that the Mayor now has no plan for enforcing the ordinance. He pushed for it to be defeated – hoping and praying, it seems, that he wouldn’t have to deal with it – and the voters ignored him. Now, Mayor Barrett appears to be pinning his hopes to an MMAC lawsuit against the ordinance. Why won’t he just deal with the fact that the ordinance passed and must be enforced? It all goes back to the Equal Rights Commission (ERC), or lack thereof.
during his short tenure, but when Barrett was sworn in, everyone watched anxiously to see what he’d do with the ERC. Would he abolish it? Would he reconstitute it? Over his nearly five years in office Barrett has done exactly one thing with the ERC: nothing. And it has come back to bite him with the 9to5 ordinance. According to the ordinance, the ERC is the body charged with enforcing the code. Over the years, aldermen like Mike D’Amato and President Hines have foreseen that this day might come. They both wrote letters to Barrett, urging him to do something – anything! – with the ERC. Instead, Barrett has been content to let the Commission exist with no members, essentially doing nothing, even though it is still on the books. In a letter this summer to the City Attorney, Hines asked if having an Equal Rights Commission with no members is legally problematic “or merely an embarrassment.” Ouch. With no ERC to enforce paid sick leave, the duties will fall to the Department of Employee Relations, which does not have enough staff to deal with potential complaints against companies that are not properly administering sick time. Is it enough to have an ordinance pass if it can’t be enforced? 9to5 (and others) would surely give a resounding No. Doyle v. Barrett: The early talk on a potential Obama win was that Barrett would be in line for a cushy cabinet position. Then reality set in and it became apparent that a) Obama did not know Barrett that well and b) Governor Doyle was much higher on Obama’s wish list – but still not a sure thing. Being a governor rather than a mayor gives Doyle a big edge. In addition, even though Barrett was one of the earliest Obama backers, Doyle was still one of the first Democratic governors to go for Obama. So the talk around Dems in Wisconsin switched from a possible Barrett appointment to a possible Doyle appointment. Makes sense, right? Wrong again. It seems to be widely known that Doyle does not want to leave Wisconsin. First, he appears to genuinely like being governor. Second, the word is that Lt. Gov. Lawton has not earned Doyle’s respect and he does not want to leave her in charge of the state. What a tangled web the Obama election has woven in Wisconsin. (A web of pure speculation, of course.) VS Dish, dog or drop names. Write Dan at scaffolding@vitalsourcemag.com.
The ERC was established during the Norquist Administration to deal with discrimination complaints related to housing and employment. It was the City agency set up to hear those complaints and enforce legal action against discriminatory businesses, landlords, etc. But there was a big blow-up when Norquist took away the ERC’s legal powers, and members of the commission resigned or retired one by one. Pratt avoided the issue
22 | behind the scaffolding | Vital Source | news + views
more at vitalsourcemag.com
funny page news + Views drawing from memory
get your war on
>>by dwellephant
>>by david rees
vital source | news + views | funny page | 23
Vital’s Picks >> By erin lee petersen
Updated all month long at VITALsourcemag.com
Big Snow Show 3 December 2 – The Rave During this time of year it’s difficult to find something to do in Milwaukee without freezing your tuchus off, and more often than not, we find ourselves holed up in our favorite bars, drinking brown liquor to take the chill out of our bones and dreaming of the first days of spring. Sigh. Thank goodness for winter concerts, giving us all a chance to keep warm by dancing like absolute fools. The Big Snow Show is a triple-decker rock show with performances by piano-rock group (yeah! piano rock!) Jack’s Mannequin, emo indie heartbreakers Death Cab for Cutie and English pop duo The Ting Tings, best known for their highly infectious ass-shaker “That’s Not My Name.” Tickets will run you about $35 a pop, but it’s a fair price for a show as jam-packed with rock as the Rave usually is with sweaty, sweaty kids. 414-372-7283 or therave.com Betsy Damon: Art, Ecology and Social Change December 3 – UWM Arts Center Lecture Hall Betsy Damon is known in many circles as an “environmental art pioneer.” Since the mid-80s, Damon has focused her passion on water – more specifically, how to preserve, restore and repair our sources of water. On her website, Damon makes her mission clear: “Water is the foundation of life; the connective might of the universe. Therefore sustaining the water systems must be the foundation of planning and development.” Through her non-profit organization Keepers of the Waters, Damon has worked with other artists to combine art and science to make eco-friendly public art that is as functional as it is beautiful. Damon uses this approach to involve individuals and communities in these projects to create sustainable landscapes and water sources in urban communities. This month she’ll offer her unique perspective when she visits UWM as part of the Artists Now! Lecture Series. 414-2294200 or psoa.uwm.edu WPCA Young People’s Exhibition December 6 – Walker’s Point Center for the Arts When the WPCA teamed up with community organizations, artists and schools to set up a hands-on art outreach program for young Milwaukeeans ages 6-12, they created an organic art installation, inspired by the Earthworks movement, along the Menomonee River and Hank Aaron Trail. Heavily influenced by conceptual and post-minimalist art movements, Earthworks is a sort of social critique of the packaging and sale of works of art and the ecological issues we face today. To expand upon this theme, the students involved in the project used only natural and biodegradable materials, experimenting with natural pigments, fibers, dirt, rocks and plants to evoke all of the senses. In its finished state, the exhibit documents this project with video, photography and a living art installation, placing nature on display in an urban environment. Through January 9. 414-672-2787 or wpca-milwaukee.com
Various artists, writers and thinkers come to the Borg Ward to tell us their stories about anything and everything under the sun, breathing some DIY life back into this fading art form. Settle in with a free (woo!) cup of coffee or hot chocolate and relax while these folks spin their best yarns. myspace.com/theborgward, experimentalmilwaukee.com BrewCity Bruisers Roller Derby Bout December 6 – Milwaukee County Sports Complex The rules of roller derby can be a bit confusing, what with all the Jammers, Blockers and Pivots. In the end, the goal is to lap the other team and leave them to choke on your dust, but it’s not just about kicking the other team’s butt, or checking them into a wall, or knocking them off their skates or ... you get the idea. Milwaukee’s own all-girl league, the beloved Brewcity Bruisers, represent women of all ages, sizes and backgrounds and together they’re opening up a whole new kind of sporting experience in Milwaukee, combining athleticism and entertainment in a way that everyone can get down with. And despite that rough-and-tumble veneer with names like Jenerous Beatings and Grace Killy, these ladies are all about empowerment and creating a sense of camaraderie and of community through the support of local businesses and artists. It warms the heart! Don’t miss the next bout - it’ll knock you off your feet. brewcitybruisers.com Alex Chilton December 7 – Turner Hall Ballroom Alex Chilton is best known for his work with the 1970’s-era Big Star, the seminal American power-pop band. In Big Star’s day, singer-songwriters and disco reigned supreme, but Big Star split from the pack with lyrically layered, melodic pop songs and, unfortunately, sold few records. At 15, Chilton was a member of the “blue-eyed soul” (i.e., R&B music by white guys) group The Box Tops. As a guitarist and songwriter Chilton has established a strong indie following, and many of his compositions have been performed by artists like Cat Power, Yo La Tengo, Wilco and Elliott Smith. We’ve been lucky to have so many legendary artists visit Milwaukee of late, and we can add this truly rare performance to that list. 414-286-3663 or pabsttheater.org The Ting-Tings: catchy as all get-out. 12/3 @ The Rave.
TOLD: A Night of Storytelling December 6 – The Borg Ward Storytelling is an activity shared across the world as a means of entertainment, education and the preservation of culture, allowing the narrator to pass history along to future generations. In fact, the art of telling a good story is as old as time itself. This winter, Peter Woods and the rest of the gang at Experimental Milwaukee bring us an evening dedicated to this timeless tradition.
24 | december picks | Vital Source | vital living
more at vitalsourcemag.com
Student Film & Video Festival December 12 – UWM Union Theatre The young artists and aspiring filmmakers in the UWM Film Department are pushing limits and, it seems, expanding their reach more and more each year. Whether it’s a collaboration with Woodland Pattern to bring us intriguing experimental films, sponsoring the annual LGBT Film Festival or working with the Community Media Project to feature avant-garde films from the African Diaspora and provide outreach to Milwaukee’s under-serviced communities, these students and instructors are finding ways to explore their creative impulses and share them with the community. The annual Student Film & Video Festival is a juried showcase of some of the best films produced by the talented juniors and seniors in the UWM Film Department. All screenings are free and open to the public. arts.uwm.edu Aude Nyhlen photography and Rehorst Tasting December 13 – Alliance Francaise French artist and photographer Aude Nyhlen grew up in Labroye, a rural community in the north of France. Nyhlen spent most of her early years studying foreign languages and traveling before she discovered her passion for photography. Nyhlen’s images of France will be on display at the Alliance Francaise for a special open house this month. This event is free and open to the public to help AF kick off a new semester of classes. There will be free French lessons, door prizes and Rehorst Vodka and Gin tastings, courtesy of Great Lakes Distillery. 414-964-3855 or afmilwaukee.org The Faint December 14 – Turner Hall Ballroom The first time I listened to The Faint, I was driving from my hometown to Milwaukee with a friend and we popped in Blank-Wave Arcade for a little background music. Three tracks later and we were both bouncing around the car, throwing elbows and chair-dancing like crazy while trying to keep up with the lyrics for “Worked Up So Sexual” and, you know, NOT drive off the road. Nine years and three albums later, The Faint separated with guitarist Conor Oberst (can you imagine?), replaced him with death metal demi-god Dapose and came out of it with a decidedly different sound. The Faint have typically been characterized by heavy synth beats and punk-rock riffs, but recent albums seem to be highly influenced by techno and dance beats. Either way, I challenge you to take a listen try to keep yourself from dancing. These Omaha natives are bringing the heat to Milwaukee to promote their latest album Fasciinatiion, hopefully to give us the dance party that we need to break loose from these icy winter doldrums. 414-286-3663 or pabsttheater.org
The Faint. Just try not to dance. 12/14 @ Turner Hall.
2nd Annual Milwaukee Air Guitar Showdown December 27 – Stonefly Brewing Company Alright kids, it’s time to get ballsy and start practicing your best windmill strokes to get ready for the Milwaukee Air Guitar Showdown. Sure, it sounds like a lark, but Air Guitar has a worldwide cult following with tons of phantom rockers channeling their inner Slash or Pete Townsend to melt our faces off with their performances. Air Guitar enthusiasts view it as the ultimate in performance art, a chance to let go completely and see where the music takes you ... without actually knowing how to play the guitar. Entrants pay a small fee to rock out to a song of their choice in round one. In the second round, performers will play along with a pre-selected song to test how well they thrash on the fly. Whether you’re letting it all hang out on stage or just head banging in the audience, this is gonna be good. 414-264-3630 or stoneflybrewery.com
Catesby, Audubon, and the Discovery of a New World: Prints of Flora and Fauna in America December 18 – Milwaukee Art Museum In the mid-eighteenth century, English naturalist Mark Catesby traveled to the New World to study and subsequently document the flora and fauna of North America. During his travels, Catesby compiled over 200 etchings of birds, reptiles, fish and plants and published The Natural History of Carolina, Florida and the Bahama Islands, the first known publication on the subject. Catesby’s work inspired many followers, most notably Haitian-born artist and entrepreneur John James Audubon, whose beautiful hand engravings of the birds of America are known worldwide and held in high esteem as a monument in American art. The Milwaukee Art Museum will house over 60 prints of the mammals, fish, plants and birds of North America for this very special exhibit, which runs through March 22, 2009. 414-224-3200 or mam.org
vital living | V ital Source | december pick s | 25
visual arts picks >>Judith Ann Moriarty
Beards galore at Lisa Congdon’s Life in WonderMountain.
Getting back to nature needn’t mean you’re a tree-hugger determined to save the earth. That said, in this season of ho-ho overkill, perhaps you’re in need of respite in the realm of visual arts. Start with the December 3 lecture (Art, Ecology and Social Change) by New York artist, Betsy Damon. Its part of the Wednesday night series in the Arts Center Lecture Hall, 2400 E. Kenwood Blvd, and it’s a freebie! From now – December 27, Tory Folliard Gallery offers painters (Dennis Wojtkiewicz and Flora Langlois) whose views on flora and fauna are at opposite poles and from greatly different distances. Dip into Brian Knep’s Healing Pool in MAM’s Baker/Rowland Galleries (now – January 09). The funky “waters” are projected from the ceiling onto vinyl flooring, an ever-changing reminder that no matter where we walk, no matter what we do, we are bound to disturb the biological system. Ever changing too, was the 19th century cultural landscape of Wisconsin, and until January 4, you can explore those changes during The Finest in the Western Country: Wisconsin Decorative Arts, 1820-1900, also at MAM. Items include Crazy Quilt, 1893, a stitched-together-landscape which warmed a long ago Wisconsin bed. At Paper Boat Gallery and Boutique on December 5, witness the bright, other-worldliness of Life in WonderMountain by San Francisco-based mixed-media artist Lisa Congdon. Paper Boat is also a great place to pick up affordable gifts for your friends and family. Grab crocheted purses in gumdrop hues, key chains, pendants, magnets, baby onesies or a copy of Paper Boat owner Faythe Levine’s new book Handmade Nation. For more cheap and wonderful gifts, consult our guide on page 12. And Vital Source has a gift for you: everything you want to know about Act/ React at MAM, with a DVD, artist cards, essays and more, all packaged in a clever orange box. The first person to me at art@vitalsourcemag.com wins the loot! VS
26 | VISUAL ARTS PICKS | Vital Source | vital LIVING
more at vitalsourcemag.com
I’ll be seeing you…. In the beginning
When I started writing the Slightly Crunchy Parent in March 2003, I was full of things to say about the choices I had made as a parent. I spent hours and hours researching all of the decisions I made for our family. It is such a large responsibility – I don’t think a person can fully comprehend the pressure and the desire to “do it right” unless they’ve raised kids. We all know what happens to children when parenting goes wrong: years of therapy and unfulfilling adult relationships and neuroses and medications and maybe even jail time. Okay, maybe it’s not that bad. But it feels like it when you’re the mom. When I was offered the opportunity to write a column I jumped at it. I had done a lot of writing before I had kids, but it slowed down a lot while I carried babies and chased toddlers. Every month, I loved sitting down to vent some of that pent-up creativity. The Slightly Crunchy Parent (or Crunchy P, as we call it in-house) has been a fabulous outlet for the last five-and-a-half years. During that time, I have talked about some of my best and worst experiences as a mother. More than once, I have found myself crying as I write, re-experiencing some difficulty or triumph. It has also happened that I open the pages of VITAL Source and can hardly remember what I have written. So many times I am in the zone, writing things that were secrets until my fingers hit the keys.
Then and now
Lena is 13; in 2003 she was seven. As a home-schooled second grader, she was right on the cusp of reading and she could whoop some serious backside at pretzel poker. She was a bossy, sassy, sweet master strategist who liked to be glued to my side. She was simultaneously very proud of and very annoyed by her younger siblings and cousins. Her desire to mother and control them was so strong – I felt like I was constantly saying, “Lena, you are NOT the parent!” Lena has been trying to grow up fast since the day she was born. Looking at her now, it seems like she has gotten her wish. Though she was my fattest baby, she is now a slender young woman with a core of self-confidence that’s hard to rattle. While she still likes to be the boss (very much!), she typically channels it into helping out with her brother and sister and babysitting a lot. For the most part, she has refined her sass into something far more palatable in our family: irreverence. At 13, she obviously still has some pretty mouthy moments (and what is up with the eye rolling?), but we work through it. In March 2003, Emma was approaching her fourth birthday. That girl has always walked to the beat of her own drum. In manner and nature, she is completely different from her siblings. Emma was already working hard to put her ideas down on paper in the form of elaborate illustrations and paintings. She sang quietly to herself, often narrating her day as it progressed. While she enjoyed playing with Lena and all of the tribe kids, she was never willing to put up with unfavorable conditions just to avoid rocking the boat. She frequently chose to play alone rather than go along with a game she didn’t want to play. For the most part, this still describes Emma the fifth grader. At the beginning of the school year, she was offered a scholarship fromDanceworks to continue her tap dancing classes. She’s positively mad for tap. It’s her second year of violin, too, and she constantly amazes me with her drive to practice and perfect her musical abilities.
Jeffrey, Emma and Lena, circa 2008
Between the beginning and now, though, Emma and I hit a rough patch. The kids’ dad and I separated in 2004 and eventually divorced. We’ve maintained an excellent parenting relationship and the kids have never gone more than a couple days without seeing him. On the surface, Emma seemed to handle the whole thing very well. She continued to do well in school, had friends, went to Brownies and generally behaved. But something was missing between us. It was gone so long, I really believed that she and I just weren’t going to be as close as the other kids, and I mourned that relationship deeply. Then suddenly, about a year ago, things improved. I think she must have finally worked through her really normal anger towards me. And when she was done, it was like the clouds parted and the sun shone on my heart again. I had missed my mini-me so much. My youngest, Jeffrey, was two. He was still nursing, still sleeping with me, still thought the whole world revolved around the two of us. Physically, Jeffrey was very strong and very coordinated. He could run, kick, throw a ball, jump off high surfaces and injure himself much earlier than the girls. But when he was ready for a cuddle, he was totally my guy. He’s eight years old now. Still agile and determined, he backs away from no physical challenge. He’s small for his age, able to sneak behind furniture, under beds, into corners and around people milling about. He loves being called on to do things no one else can do. Like Lena, Jeffrey is also a master of strategy. Games like Risk, Stratego and Othello keep him fascinated for hours. Though his teachers regularly tell me that he has poor eye-hand coordination, you’d never know it watch him build Star Wars pocket models or bead bracelets with his sisters.
Wrapping it up and starting anew
As always, I am amazed by my children. They are genuinely kind and generous. They continue to be my greatest teachers. We laugh together, and we cry together when we need to. None of us walks alone. And though, like everyone else, I still doubt my parenting regularly, I am proud of what I’ve done. This is the last installment – for now, at least – of the Slightly Crunchy Parent. In January, I’ll begin a new column for VITAL. It’s more general, focusing on living in the world with as little damaging impact as possible, facing environmental and even financial challenges as families and individuals. Think of it as “The Slightly Crunchy Parent Goes to Washington,” only told in story form from my dining room table. I’m looking forward to it, and I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as you’ve enjoyed the Crunchy P. VS
vital Living | Vital Source | slightly crunchy parent | 27
Vital culture music reviews Quinn Scharber and the ... Being Nice Won’t Save Milwaukee The Bus Stop Label • busstoplabel.com In one of his SubVersions columns several months back, our boy Matt Wild declared the basic guitar/ bass/drums lineup of Quinn Scharber and the Electric Youth a refreshing novelty, or some similar turn of phrase — the implication being that bands in the Beer City have become so obsessed with attaching extra bells and whistles to their music (like, for instance, actual bells and whistles) that the simple effectiveness of a well-crafted guitar-pop song is overlooked. Maybe that’s the rationale behind titling their debut disc Being Nice Won’t Save Milwaukee; in a city where every new band is determined to throw their housemates’ thrift-store toy pianos on stage, playing a no-frills guitar riff is an act of defiance. But if there’s rebellion in these songs, it’s not the type that comes screaming. Scharber is a graduate of the Pollard and late-Replacementsera Westerberg Academy, more “Can’t Hardly Wait” than “Fuck School.” In fact, the opening “Latest Flame” wouldn’t have sounded out of place on Pleased to Meet Me, as blasphemous as hardcore ‘Matheads may consider that. It’s all boxed wine and “Don’t you wanna be my latest flame/ don’t you wanna make a big mistake,” delivered in Scharber’s conspiratorial half-whisper. It’s quite a feat to sing a refrain like “Keep it Legal” and sound like you’re getting away with something, yet there it is. Quinn Scharber and the Wrath of Khan (they change their name every show, so why let them have all the fun?) are doing little more than playing extremely well-crafted pop songs cobbled together by a dude, his guitar and a few of his drinking buddies backing him up. In a town overrun with banjos and glockenspiels, maybe an Epiphone will save the day after all. —DJ Hostettler
David Byrne & Brian Eno Everything That Happens Will Happen Today Self-released • everythingthathappens.com
What happens when English bloke Eno decides to tackle America’s gargantuan genre of gospel music? Uplifting takes a slight downturn into boring. Bless Eno’s fervent fascination and willingness to pan for gold in church, but his selfdescribed ‘electronic gospel’ is, although earnest, also slightly tepid-sounding, and with David Byrne dutifully collaborating on vocal arrangements, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today is only a ghost of an echo of the more mid-tempo songs of The Talking Heads, and not quite as inspirational as Eno was probably striving for.
28 | music reviews | Vital Source | vital culture
Influenced by Reverend Maceo Woods’ “Surrender to His Will,” Eno set off to create sonic emulations of the gospel music he found to be underappreciated in the country of its own origin, and certainly succeed in creating a unique take. Reaching back to the world-pop of the Heads rather than his collaboration with Byrne 27 years ago for My Life In the Bush of Ghosts (a complex and moody foray into ambience), Eno’s gospel-inspired music, although unique, doesn’t scream innovation; it only whispers of casual experimentation. Byrne’s direct vocal style hovers wobblingly over Eno’s electronic gospel tracks create a pleasant and comfortable environment with its ample sound and accessible addition of acoustic guitar work, leaving an album that is agreeable but nowhere near as much as a benchmark as the pair’s previous collaborations. —Erin Wolf
Various Artists We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year Armoury • eaglerockent.com
A few years ago, after attending a Christmas-charity show featuring several metal-styled acts, I posited a reasonable question: are rock ‘n’ roll and Yuletide cheer compatible? After all, this is the season of comfortable sweaters, chestnut visions, and a jolly old fat man who apparently helps remind us of the birth of Jesus Christ — none of which is exactly “metal.” Nevertheless, We Wish You a Metal Xmas attempts to introduce crunchy riffs, elaborate solos and headbanging tempos to the festivities. The success of the introduction is debatable, but there’s no doubt that it’s sort of fun, and most of the time it’s definitely funny. For example, a version of “Run Rudolph Run” features ZZ Top’s Billy F. Gibbons, Nirvana/Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl, and Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister — the latter of whom navigates the lyrics with his usual death’s-door wheeze. And Ronnie James Dio rolls through “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” as though he’s grandly shoveling dirt on the gentlemen’s graves. Some of the other tracks would count as sacrilege if we hadn’t all heard most of these songs until we’re well sick of them. Testament lead singer Chuck Billy vomits all over “Silent Night,” while Alice Cooper naturally finds the perverse breaking-and-entering side of “Santa Claws [sic] Is Coming to Town.” Yet even metalheads get all sentimental this time of year, something admitted here with the final track, in which Styx lynchpin Tommy Shaw gives all due respect to John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War Is Over).” This is only right and proper — and thus not very metal, so the answer to my question is a resounding No. — Jon M. Gilbertson
more at vitalsourcemag.com
music reviews Vital culture The Secret Machines Secret Machines TSM • thesecretmachines.com The self-titled third full-length release from The Secret Machines is just about the best collection of new music released this year. Within eight jams stands one of the most towering monoliths of sound I’ve ever cast my ears upon. From these three gifted New York (by way of Texas) musicians thumps a mighty beat of dance/pop and a noisy cinema of aural images. It knocked me on my ass. The party gets started with huge drums and distorted guitar melodies on the dance-floor beacon “Atomic Heels,” and then seamlessly slides into “Last Believer, Drop Dead.” There, Brandon Curtis settles into the contemplative crystallization of being a “dream enthusiast” in a “graveyard of hopes.” Throughout, there is the faint realization that much more is going on than just stellar music, but as the melodies and delivery are so subtly intertwined, the lyrics are felt more than understood. “Underneath The Concrete,” a total vamp with hooks via synth and voice, is the last glimmer of levity. Henceforth, “The Walls are Starting to Crack” and the closing “The Fire is Waiting” are huge, cataclysmic draperies of dark emotion and production. Every moment of these recordings has impact. In all of the songs are touches of many influences, which are never groped, just caressed, innovated and invigorated – in the true spirit of artistry – by The Secret Machines’ own formidable creativity. —Troy Butero
Vital culture record releases DECEMBER 2 Panic at the Disco Live In Chicago [CD/DVD] Fueled By Ramen Britney Spears Circus Jive
Brandy Human Epic Common Universal Mind Control Geffen
DECEMBER 9
Kerri Hilson In a Perfect World… Interscope
Avant s/t Capitol
Jay-Z The Blueprint 3 Def Jam Jeffree Star Cupcakes Taste Like Violence [EP] Popsicle
DECEMBER 16 The All-American Rejects When The World Comes Down Interscope
Plies Da REAList Atlantic Soulja Boy Tell’em Souljaboytellem Interscope
Bow Wow New Jack City, Part 2 Columbia
DECEMBER 23
Fall Out Boy Folie a Deux Island
Savage Savage Island Universal Republic
50 Cent Before I Self Destruct Interscope
vital culture | Vital Source | mu sic reviews | 29
wild >> words by matt
Remembering Republicans (if you must) 2008 will be remembered for many things: the Charlie Sykes nationwide financial crisis, skyrocketing gas Everyone knows Charlie Sykes is the devil incarprices, the rebooting of Beverly Hills 90210. But nate. Hell, even Sykes himself must suspect most of all, it will be forever remembered as something’s up. The proof is indisputable: he has the year Republicans – those strange, awful a top-rated radio program in which he parrots creatures who specialize in helping those who back the most inane right-wing talking points; can already help themselves – had their collec- he hosts an equally evil and insipid television tive asses handed to them in November. (Yeah, show every Sunday night; he lives in Mequon. I know, the last thing any of us want to think Case closed. about again is the election, but come on: doesn’t Sykes is your typical conservative blowhard it feel good?) who likes sticking it to the usual suspects: gays, Republicans are an odd bunch, known to women, Mexicans, college graduates. He’s also cheat their way into power and spend the the author of a slew of crappy books. In his 2007 ensuing eight years pissing and moaning about crime against humanity, 50 Rules Kids Won’t the mean ol’ liberal media and the naughty- Learn in School, Sykes (who pulls a Ricky/Rick waughty New York Times. When not rooting Schroder and goes by Charles Sykes) spends 192 around in garbage cans like the feral raccoons interminable pages passing off generic “Cut your they sometimes resemble, Republicans tend to hair, get a job and get off my lawn!” turds as hole up in soul-sucking suburbs while quietly good ol’ common sense that those pole-smoking contributing to the continued careers of Lee liberals won’t teach ya’ in those fancy special Greenwood and Sunday Night Football’s Al needs schools. Take this chestnut, for example: Michaels. They can assume almost any form: parents, teachers, and perhaps most insidiously “The real world won’t care as much about your of all, Facebook friends, where they typically self-esteem as your school does. It’ll expect you pose as cute theater girls you had a crush on in to accomplish something before you feel good high school while you were playing the part of about yourself.” Percy in The Miracle Worker (it’s funny because it’s true). Republicans are bad losers, worse Damn straight Charlie – er, Charles. I mean, why winners, and only slightly less insufferable than don’t these kids just give up on that whole “childtheir close cousins, Libertarians. hood” thing and just get used to the real world In the wake of our historic recent election already (or, barring that, Mequon). Suck on that – and before the few remaining GOP-ers are lemon you latte-sipping, feeling-good-aboutshipped off and put into cold storage (that’s yourselves, Mr. Rogers-loving freaks! what happens after these things, right?) – I thought it might be useful to look back on these Patrick McIlheran endangered, obsolete hate-mongers and offer I feel kind of bad for Patrick McIlheran. His up short profiles detailing who they were before Journal Sentinel blog, “Right On” (har har) is so they were silenced forever. (I mean, it’s not as boring that it usually draws the same number of if an Obama presidency will actually embolden user comments as mine. Disregarding spam and these yahoos, right? Right?) In the interest encouraging words from my mother, that number of brevity, I’ve whittled the field down to two comes out to a big, fat zero. See Pat, we’re in local douchebags: WTMJ “personality” Charlie this thing together. Sykes, and Journal Sentinel columnist Patrick McIlheran – something of a Smithers to Sykes’ McIlheran. Mr. Burns – fancies himself a right-leaning, easy-
30 | subversions | Vital Source | vital Living
going, funny kind of guy, a description that once again proves Meat Loaf’s maxim that two out of three ain’t bad. Take, for instance, his print column from November 5, in which he suggests his reader(s) begin the “resistance” by indulging in some decidedly un-PC, liberal-baiting activities like eating triple-Whopper cheeseburgers and renting Red Dawn. Zing! Hey Patrick, don’t stop there: throw in a line about driving around in a SUV with baby seal eyes for headlights, and you’ve got a great Denis Leary bit, circa 1993! All of this is couched in a smug “aw, shucks” routine that comes in handy when – oh, I don’t know – your political party is utterly decimated on Election Day. After spending all of 2008 spewing the lamest anti-Obama rhetoric, McIlheran claimed in a November 5 blog that (cue the sound of crickets) “I’m pretty much over the election. Outside of my work, politics just isn’t that big a part of ordinary life.” Riiiiiiight. Now, lest I come off as a sore winner, I’d like to propose a friendly challenge. On the VITAL Source website (vitalsourcemag.com) you’ll find videos of me performing stirring, dramatic readings from the works of both Sykes and McIlheran. I invite these two gentlemen to do the same, by posting dramatic readings of my past columns, all of which can be found online. For Sykes, I recommend the one where I crash a labor rally and a burlesque show in the same week (October 2006); for McIlheran, the one where I infiltrate a gay flash mob and spend 750 words reminiscing about early-90s raves (March 2008) seems about right. After a few months, the one with the most YouTube hits wins; the loser can man up and buy a few rounds at the winner’s favorite bar. It’ll be all friendly-like, and any promotional proceeds can be donated to a needy cause, like the Republican National Committee (snap!). Hell, I’ll even drive to Mequon if necessary. VS Matt Wild is still waiting for Art Kumbalek to accept his nearly year-old dance-off challenge.
more at vitalsourcemag.com
puzzle page Vital source
CryptoQuip The CryptoQuip is a quote in substitution code, where A could equal R, H could equal P, etc. One way to break the code is to look for repeated letters. E, T, A, O, N and I are the most often used letters. A single letter is usually A or I; OF, IS and IT are common 2-letter words; and THE and AND are common 3-letter words. Good luck!
Crossword
Across 1 Blubber 4 Piggery 7 Church official
Sudoku
13 Housewives actress Longoria 14 Potpie morsel 15 Flying charge 16 Designate for
assignment 18 Whiskey type, once 19 Greek letter 20 Stair parts 22 Echelon
To solve the Sudoku puzzle, each row, column and box must contain the numbers 1-9.
Clues: C=L G=I 23 I love (Lat.) 24 Dodge 29 Bounding main 31 District 34 Distinctive flair 35 Beatles song, ___ Submarine 37 Exceptional sight 39 Flammable mixture 41 Like some confrontations 45 Fit for farming 50 Competent 51 Afternoon affairs 53 Healing plants 54 Peachy-keen 56 Downturn 58 Getaway spots 59 Humiliates 62 Acquire 63 Gabfest 67 Big party 70 Paprika 71 Chinese principle 72 Eskimo knife 73 Gauge 74 Barley bristle 75 L.A. clock setting
Down 1 Charge 2 Greed 3 NC state name 4 Health resort 5 ___ cotta 6 WA city 7 Designer name 8 Irregularly notched 9 Astern 10 Ariz. neighbor 11 Mine find 12 Minus (Abbr.) 15 Lincoln 17 Virtuous 21 Malcontents 22 Plaything 25 Neckline shape 26 Barley brew 27 Time period 28 Compass heading 30 Faux pas 32 Chow down 33 Eastern poohbah 36 Light bulb unit 38 Zhivago’s love
40 Ulalume poet 41 Summer shade 42 Japanese sash 43 Lord of the Rings figure 44 Asian holiday 46 Set straight 47 Studied 48 Soup ingredient 49 Double curve 52 Sonora snooze 55 Gapes 57 “Fiddlesticks!” 60 Flying mammals 61 Back then 63 Number cruncher, for short 64 Towel stitching 65 Computer communications (Abbr.) 66 maiden name 68 Charged particle 69 Kind of instinct
november Crossword Answers
vital Living | Vital Source | puzzle page | 31