“Love Me Do” Stephen Eisenhammer tries to get past his deeply felt prejudice towards Evangelicals by seeing things from their point of view. Many of us would agree with Gandhi’s insightful opinion: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ”. Why is this? Why do Christian’s have such a negative image? One of the main reasons appears to be their often evangelical nature. By this I mean their computer game attitude to conversion, hold down the trigger and eventually you’re bound to hit someone. From their sneaky attempts to pierce you with their Jesus arrows from opposite Cindies, to sprinkling fairy faith dust into every free lunch, to the less subtle designer hoodies, their intentions are clear. It’s not Jesus that annoy us, but the people that won’t stop going on about him!
you too can be saved. For them ignorance is a crime that they are responsible for. If someone has never heard of Jesus (or doesn’t understand his message) they are going to hell out of no fault of their own, but out of the fault of Evangelicals. It would, therefore, not only be incredibly selfish for a Christian to hide his special secret, but downright rude. So why then, if they are merely trying to save us, do we feel such hostility towards them? In a world in which advertising is subconsciously shoved down our throats every day, it seems odd that we are so touchy when a Christian performs this procedure. We walk happily unawares past the men holding signs for Subway, John Lewis and Pizza Hut but stop to yell abuse and sometimes kick (depending how drunk we are) the man holding the sign for Jesus. I am sure there is some kind of parable I could draw here, but don’t worry, I will save you the awkwardness.
If we pretend to be a tolerant society we must, however, look at the basis of this “trigger happy” conversion. The Bible quickly sheds some light on the matter. “Go into the world and proclaim the good news to the whole of creation. The one who believes and is baptized will be saved; but the one who does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16.15-16). It seems, therefore, to be pretty black and white. Those who don’t believe in Christ are going to hell. We might not think this is much of an argument if we disagree with the statement, but it is important to step inside a Christian’s shoes. An Evangelical believes that they have discovered the true path, the road to salvation. It is therefore an obligation for them to preach about this path, so that
Given a Christian’s faith, and subsequent belief, they are obliged to try and convert us. We should not hold this against them. Christians may be mad, but as Nietzsche pointed out “there is always some reason in madness”. So next time those Jehovah’s Witnesses come knocking, lock your door and windows and hide in the shadows. But smile in the knowledge that they love you. Stephen Eisenhammer 4
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