Valentine Nyaradzo Kagande’s “Quotes on Love”
A Philosophical, Theological, Psychological, Political and Sociological, Discussion
(Written June/July 2018, Village 2, Dite, Beitbridge, Zimbabwe) (Cover Image by Valentine, January/February 2017, Windsor Park, Ruwa, Harare, Zimbabwe)
Dedicated to Selina, Tumelo, Teacher Ginandi, Pastor and Mrs Pastor Sibanda, and all my friends and family in Dite and beyond!!
ERIC FROMM SAYS... Is love an art? Then it requires knowledge and effort. Or is love a pleasant sensation, which to experience is a matter of chance, something one ‘falls into’ if one is lucky?
This desire for interpersonal fusion [love] is the most powerful striving in man [human beings]. It is the most fundamental passion, it is the force which keeps the human race together, the clan, the family, society. The failure to achieve it means insanity or destruction – self destruction or destruction of others. Without love, humanity could not exist for a day.
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***Eric Fromm is one the 21 century’s top Psychologists, and the above quotes are from his book titled ‘The Art of Loving’.
VALENTINE SAYS...
o Experiences of love are surely joyful and life giving when all is well. This is true of all experiences of love be it in marriage, in the family, in convents, monasteries and seminaries, among relatives, in friendships, in the neighbourhood, in the Church, etc. When such is the case, it is easy for those in such relationships and those who surround them to experience the joy of love and also to give thanks to God. (Mukai Journal article, ‘The joy of love even when love gets sick’, February 2017)
o It’s good that we all seek to grow in our knowledge of that which we seek, LOVE, so that we will know where to find it and we will recognise it when we see it. If we know more about love then we won’t search for it only in a dating relationship or marriage, because love can be experienced even in friendship, the family, and with other women. (Facebook post, ‘Word of advice to my sisters’, 2016)
o With God, deep, close and intimate love can be experienced between two adults of the opposite sex, and it can be expressed through a million ways (eg supporting each other in faith and life’s struggles). (Facebook comment, 27 May 2018)
o I do believe in happy and loving relationships, but these don’t come easily though. Labour pains of love will be there, and even this love will grow in stages just like a baby. Moments of senseless speech will be there, but with time and care moments of meaningful speech will arrive. We will also get our teeth in love with time... (Email to a Cousin, August 2016)
o A close look at the nature of love will show though that, turbulent
and challenging moments will emerge. Love will get sick and in the process the joy of love will be hidden! In the worst of situations such struggling relationships will breakdown, and end up leaving many broken hearts and a wounded humanity. The question to ask then is, when love gets sick what should we do? (Mukai Journal article...)
o If people do not have a correct understanding of love, then surely they are likely to trivialise it when its moments of sickness arrive. With a correct understanding of love it becomes easy for one to go against the advice of friends, family, culture, varying schools of thought, and even some voices in the Church [eg Priests and Pastors], that fails to acknowledge the sacredness of love as it is depicted in the Christian faith. (Mukai Journal article...)
o Pain, conflict, challenges and crosses are not an indication that love has ended, they are preliminaries to growth. Approached with honesty and truth they will help true love to emerge. ‘Love don’t come easy’ so sang Phil Collins, and how right he was. We have to sweat it out a bit, like a woman giving birth, if we want to find joyful love... Even the Song of Songs carries the same concept when it speaks of the disappearance of the lover (Song of Songs 5:2-6:3). So what is needed at such times? Patience! Informed and faith filled patience! Patience is key so don’t rush to break things or to rush into a new romantic relationship. (Facebook article, ‘Word of advice...’)
o Old [emotional] wounds that are not addressed contribute to crises, as Pope Francis observed when he said ‘understandably families often experience problems when one of their members is emotionally immature because he or she still bears the scars of earlier experiences’. Moments of crises do call us then to be Christian and to cooperate with God’s grace so as to have these old wounds healed by our shared love... Responding otherwise will add more wounds and in so doing we will be refusing to be ‘Good Samaritans’ to our friends in need. (Mukai Journal article...)
o With the voice of our lived faith we should definitely resurrect many love stories that have suffered a premature death, be they ours or those under our care and watch. When we do this our relationships will become true ‘Sacraments of God’s love’ and ‘Instruments of Evangelisation’. This is the Gospel we should be bringing to our world today, a gospel that does not crucify love but heals love! (Mukai Journal article...)
*** Follow link to access the Mukai Journal, https://m.facebook.com/zimjesuits/posts/1437825542896231 *** Follow link to access the post 'Word of advice to my sisters', https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154839454428487&id=547138486&_ft_=mf_story_key.10 154839454428487%3Atop_level_post_id.10154839454428487%3Atl_objid.10154839454428487%3Acontent _owner_id_new.547138486%3Athrowback_story_fbid.10154839454428487%3Astory_location.4%3Athid.5 47138486%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A1451635200%3A1483257599%3A5347449609173286741&__tn__=%2As%2As-R ***Follow link to access the Facebook comment made on May 27, 2018 https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1076912265780239&id=100003844263386&refid=12&_ft_= mf_story_key.10158663068328487%3Atop_level_post_id.10158663068328487%3Atl_objid.10158663068328 487%3Acontent_owner_id_new.547138486%3Athrowback_story_fbid.10158663068328487%3Astory_loca tion.4%3Astory_attachment_style.note%3Athid.547138486&__tn__=R&_rdc=1&_rdr
SCRIPTURE SAYS... Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called sons of God. (1 John 3:1)
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for GOD IS LOVE. (1 John 4:7-8)
He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked. (1 John 2:6)
He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not wither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. (1 John 2:10-11)
**King James Version** Follow link for more resources https://m.facebook.com/notes/valentine-nyaradzo-kagande/quotes-onlove-a-philosophical-theological-psychological-political-and-sociologi/10157948404698382/