Dear Don,

“For the male perspective”

By Don Grimm

DEAR DON: My husband started a handyman business three years ago, which has become a success. I’m incredibly thankful for, and proud of, his dedication and hard work, which have allowed me the privilege of staying home to care for our toddler.

Lately, however, I’ve been feeling quite isolated. He leaves for work before we wake up and returns home around dinner time, leaving us with only an hour or two together before he falls asleep on the couch. He usually works weekends, and any free time is spent doing handyman favors for friends or family. I’m beginning to harbor feelings of resentment.

He started this so he could provide for his family, but I can’t help but feel that he’s forgotten us along the way. I’m torn between discussing how I feel with him or keeping my feelings to myself, as I don’t want to appear ungrateful or unsupportive. What should I do? – SHERRY

DEAR SHERRY: First off, I’d like to point out the most important part of your letter. You expressed that you’re thankful. That tells me your heart and mind are both in the right place, so I won’t need to send you to your corner to think about what you’ve done. As for the resentment, that’s a natural initial response in a situation like yours, but you can’t keep these thoughts and feelings to yourself, and you can’t allow that resentment to take the helm while attempting to address the situation.

It’s A Classic!

Short and sweet film reviews of old, classic movies perfect for a girls’ night in!

By Allison Chudina

For the month of November, I thought I’d recommend an iconic war movie in honor of Veterans Day (Nov. 11) — The Great Escape. This critically acclaimed film, directed by John Sturges, is based on a true story. The movie follows allied prisoners of war as they plan for several hundred of their men to escape from an

This is the part where I hit you with some insight into your masculine, primitive-minded, chest-beating, caveman counterparts. One of the traits that is most commonly pounded into men’s heads is stoicism, and as much as guys take pride in being the blunt object that endures a daily pounding without complaints, we still have needs too. We need to blow off steam and purge the overflowing stresses of each day, in preparation for the next. What neither of you may realize, is that he’s most likely feeling the same isolation that you’re feeling, just in a different way. He’s stuck in his routine of being away from home for long hours, and over time, if he is incapable of achieving rejuvenation at home, it can cause him to feel differently about his home environment. That is a root cause of why many men spend their free time away from home. In most cases, it’s not a lack of love or a detachment issue. It’s just that he’s drawn to whatever is allowing him to blow off steam more efficiently.

So, here’s my advice on how to handle this situation. Talk to him. Tell him that you love him, and you appreciate all he does. Tell him you’re proud of him and his sacrifices are not going unnoticed. Keep in mind, that these things need to be routine, the same way you want to be acknowledged routinely. Tell him that you want more of his time, and you’re willing to do what it takes to make home the place that he feels he can recharge the most efficiently. Also, I suggest that you talk to him about setting boundaries with the favors he does in his spare time. I’d even go as far as suggesting that Sundays always be kept clear, just so you have that consistent, weekly, uninterrupted time together. Most importantly, make sure he understands you intend to do what’s best for your family.

I hope that helps. Good luck and God bless.

– DON GRIMM

“escape-proof” German POW camp during World War II. Among the prisoners determined to escape are American Captain Virgil Hilts (played by Steve McQueen) and British Squadron Leader Roger Bartlett (played by Richard Attenborough). By digging a tunnel out of the prison grounds, the soldiers are able to outwit their captors. However, they realize that the stakes are much higher when this escape becomes a reality. This film has moments of comedy but also sequences of high adventure and action. It was nominated for Best Motion Picture, Drama, at the 1974 Golden Globes. Needless to say, this movie is a must-watch for those who have never seen it, and it would be the perfect film to enjoy on a cool November evening with friends or family.