Broken and Beloved

THE GIFT OF REPENTANCE

written by Aimee Taylor

Most people probably wouldn’t think of repentance as a gift but rather as a burden. Because it’s hard to admit that we are in need, or that we have done something wrong, or worse yet, to acknowledge that, at our core, we are simply just broken. We hate this about ourselves. I can say that I truly hate being broken, and in fact, for much of my walk with Jesus, I tossed my sin at Him and said flippantly, “Will you please just fix this so I can get it right finally?!” I knew I needed Jesus to justify me, but what I really wanted was to be fixed so that I didn’t need Him anymore. I wanted to become even more SELF-RELIANT. I wanted my sin removed so that I could be more beautiful in and of myself and get more and more glory for ME. Wow, when He showed me the ugliness of this gross sin, I was astounded. I couldn’t even begin to see into such a deep level of self-deception without the Holy Spirit, confirming once again, the verse that declares, “The heart is most devious and incurably sick, who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9, The Voice)

So, what exactly is repentance? Quite simply, it means to turn away from our sin and instead turn toward God. This turning, though, is totally contrary to our natural bent. As humans, we want what we want. We want to bring glory to ourselves and not to God. We want truth defined from our own vantage point. We want God’s goodness to mean that I am happy and comfortable at all times. Our brokenness is so deep and entrenched. Even though I wish that this bent would just magically go away when we give our lives to Jesus, we are stuck with our miserable sin-nature until we go home to be with Jesus. So, what is the answer? As usual - the answer is - Jesus! We need total surrender to His will, His way, and His truth.

I love that the very next verse following the Jeremiah verse I quoted above says this, “It is I, the Eternal One, who probes the innermost heart and examines the innermost thoughts, I will compensate each person justly, according to his ways, and by what his actions deserve.” (Jer 17:10, The Voice) The Lord is the One who searches and tests us! And thankfully, He is just and good - there is no other way He can be! And praise God, His heart for us “flows from the kind and compassionate mercy of our God.” (Luke 1:78 The Voice) BUT WE MUST INVITE THIS SEARCHING. We have to say “yes!” We have to cry, “Holy Spirit, come!” - just as David penned in Psalm 139: 23-24 (The Voice), “Explore me, O God, and know the real me. Dig deeply and discover who I am. Put me to the test and watch how I handle the strain. Examine me to see if there is an evil bone in me, and guide me down Your path forever.” This turning, this surrender, is the difference between walking out our days just as the rest of the world does; and actually living in a love relationship with Jesus, where we transform to bear fruit. I don’t know about you, but I want more of Jesus, and I want what I do here on earth to matter for all eternity. Living like the world will never allow for that.

Regular, consistent repentance is needed in the church today, and in each and every individual Christ-follower today. We are steeped in pride. We like feeling like we have it together. We don’t like the posture of humility. We want our needs, wants, and rights all met. We have a huge sense of entitlement. But the only thing we are entitled to outside of Jesus Christ is eternal destruction.

Let that soak in...because we need that reminder to sit deep within us, so when we are confronted with our own sinful mess, we can unwrap the gift of repentance. Run TO Him, not away from Him, when your sin rears up. And once again, turn away from your foolishness and turn your eyes back to the only One who can free you from it! Jesus. Be quick to dump your sinful junk at the foot of the cross. Exchange all of your junk for the beauty and glory He wants to give you in return. Do you see how seemingly insane our God is! He wants all our junk - He wants to free us from it! And in return, He doesn’t give wrath or disappointment; or condemnation. He gives healing! He wants us to live and move and have our being in Him! We need to put away all fear of turning to Him. Our shame and the enemy want to tell us that staying hidden is best because the Lord is filled with anger and disappointment and will heap on us a pile of punishment. NO! The cross takes all of our punishment, and if you are found in Jesus - if you have given your life to Him - then all your punishment fell on Him. We must learn to hide in Him. He wants to teach us how to walk away from our sin and walk with our heads held high into our relationship and calling in Him. The forgiveness of Jesus is an AMAZING GIFT - please take it and unwrap it regularly! Repentance must be something we do daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. We must invite the work of the Spirit to reveal what we cannot see in ourselves, allowing us to walk in true freedom!

To step into this process of repentance, I encourage you to read the prophetic word to the churches in Revelation 2 and 3. As you do, ask the Spirit to examine you and see if Jesus is your first love - which was the forgotten element for the Church at Ephesus. Ask the Spirit if you are willing to be persecuted for Him, as was required of those in the Church of Smyrna. Ask if your belief is pure and unstained from the world and the enemy’s thoughts, as was required from the Church at Pergamum. Have you stood strong against those trying to lead you away from the Lord, contrary to the church in Thyatira? Unlike the Church in Sardis, are you awake and alert to hear God’s call? Can you be counted among those like the Church at Philadelphia because you have stayed true to the Lord’s name and obeyed His word above all else? As opposed to the Church in Laodicea, are you trusting Jesus over the things this world has to offer? If your answer to any or all of these is “no” - then please repent! Tell Jesus you are sorry for what you have put before Him, and turn back to Him. Unwrap and enjoy the glorious cleansing He has waiting for you!