A Beautiful Mess - Jessica Prukner

A BEAUTIFUL MESS

written by Jessica Prukner

Ever have one of those motivational t-shirt types of day? Randomly, I decided to select my “Not Today Satan” tie-dyed shirt and pair it with my “I Can Do All Things Through Christ” purple coffee mug. I was ready for the day, or so I thought. Being a parent in 2021 is a hard enough job in itself; add in the homeschool teacher job duties and I need every motivational swag item I can get to keep me focused and on my game.

Recently, my youngest has been struggling with long division. I feel like after many attempts, some tears, as well as calling in backup from Dad and some intelligent neighbors who were willing to help, I had to throw the white flag in on the play and find a tutor. I try to do it all, I am superwoman after all (or so I like to think), but sometimes we need to know when to ask for help. It was one of those days.

As homeschooling parents, we need to know that sometimes the greatest thing we can do for our kids is find someone else to assist in their learning journey. Many times, I have felt like a failure because I couldn’t teach my own kids what they needed to learn. This is just not the case! I remember when my son was in second grade and still struggling to read, I would sit up late at night crying to my husband about how awful of a teacher I was and how I was ruining our son’s life forever. Yes, a bit extreme looking back, but as I have continued my journey in homeschooling and talking to other parents along the way, I have found that this fear of failure is very common.

Let me remind you of something God spoke very clearly to my heart years ago and again recently during my anguish: God gave us these wonderful, unique kids and He called and set us apart to be their parents and their teachers. If He calls us, He will equip us. Hebrews 13:21a says, “May He equip you with all that you need for doing His will.” Even when we feel like we are missing the mark, we can remember His promises to us. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” So I encourage you to take a deep breath (yes actually do it right now), let go of any guilt you may be holding onto, ask for some help where you need it, and trust that God’s got you and your kids during this season.

The current day situation: my son who was once struggling to read is now a strong advanced reader, and I have found a great tutor who is helping my youngest with long division - all while I sit there in peace drinking coffee out of my swag ‘Best Teacher’ mug, knowing that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength today. As for tomorrow…well, thankfully I am not supposed to worry about tomorrow, but I know that my God is already there.