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CHASING BUTTERFLIES JOURNALS
Chasing Butterflies Into Heaven
BY CONNIE VANHORN
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I chose you. I wanted you. I appointed you. I set you where you are.
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the father will give you.” (John 15:16 NIV)
No person can stop what God has destined and laid up for you. You are His chosen, the elect, and you have a great purpose.
Have you ever read a book or watched a movie where the angel came back to see the person in a relatable form? This is exactly how God has spoken to me through many great miracles.
About nine years ago, after I got saved, something magical happened inside my heart. An explosion of sorts. God radically changed me. That is the best way I can explain it. He changed everything about me. Of course, I still looked the same, but what was inside was now a new creation. The most radical and noticeable difference was my new set of eyes. I was finally able to see through an eternal perspective and see light in a dark world. He just had to show me how.
I often talk about “Chasing Butterflies.” I want to share what chasing butterflies means to me.
It was a beautiful fall day. The weather was incredible, and I was taking a nap in my car while my baby slept. I had the windows down; the only noise was the birds singing and the trees blowing in the wind. When I woke from my nap, I was amazed at the most beautiful blue butterfly sitting on my window. It just sat there in complete peace. It wasn’t startled or scared; it gave me minutes to observe, and I had never seen a butterfly that close up. That was the moment I started seeing butterflies with an eternal set of eyes.
God finds the most beautiful and precious way to draw us to Him. He knew I would need a constant reminder of my new life and His love for me. He knew I was weak, and this world is tempting and dark. He knew I would need something so sweet and powerful that would ultimately connect me to Him. So I began “Chasing Butterflies.” It was like I had been moving in slow motion through this life, and suddenly, I was on the move at great speed.
As time went by, butterflies were everywhere in my sight. My love for these beautiful creatures grew stronger by the day. At first, I thought they were just signs from God. He is so clever. He knew I would need a constant reminder to keep me on course. God showed me so many great miracles. So many I hope to share them all with you through this column. But there is one I would like to share today.
After I gave birth to my daughter, I had an IUD placed. An IUD is a form of contraception. I had the IUD for about a year, and it was fine. Then one day, I started to have a lot of pain on my left side. I went to the doctor, who ordered an ultrasound to find out why this was happening. The doctor told me my IUD had shifted into my uterus and needed to be removed that day.
I was in a season of struggling with my faith, wanting to believe God so badly but filled with so much doubt. I wanted to believe in all the miracles He was showing me. I wanted to believe He was real. But I had so many voices in my ear telling me the opposite—that my butterflies were imaginary and a coincidence. The hardest part of believing in God was that I felt so undeserving. Why would God think I was so special?
The doctor removed my IUD. She told me I would need time to allow my body to heal before having it placed again. The procedure was quick, and I was able to leave and go about my day. I had plans to go to the mall afterward to pick up a few items. As I was walking through the mall, I was praying and talking to God. To be honest, I was doubting God.
Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe God is not real. Maybe I’m crazy.
Then, as I was walking through the mall, I saw butterflies everywhere! I was awestruck at how butterflies were in every blink of my eye. As I was walking, the voices in my head were getting louder and louder, repeating,
You are not special. You are not important. You are not enough. It’s springtime, and that’s why butterflies are everywhere.
As I was walking, I suddenly felt that I needed to go to the restroom. The doctor explained that I would have bleeding and cramping for a couple of days. This is where it gets personal. As I walked into the restroom, my eyes filled with tears, my heart in despair, and I just wanted to hit the floor and cry. I felt so defeated and confused. I sat down on the toilet and I looked down. There it was. In blood. A perfectly painted butterfly with a cross in the middle.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. I sat there in complete amazement. I was so happy. Shocked. It was at that moment I told God that I believed Him, and nothing could ever convince me otherwise. God gave me the most precious gift that day. A miracle. I will never doubt Him again. God is real and beautiful, and He loves me so much. He loves me so much that He gave me an impossible miracle to cling to during those moments of doubt. The rest of that story is that I never bled another drop. Not one drop. The entire world will try to convince me that God is not real, but I know differently. He revealed himself to me that day in the most miraculous way.
Blood represents life. And there is power in the precious blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus purged us and brought us back to God. Romans 5:9 reads, "Much more surely then, now that we have been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from the wrath of God." (NRSVA) Every bondage and oppression will terminate in the blood. The blood of Jesus can pull down strongholds because whenever we invoke the blood of Jesus, since the life of the flesh is in the blood, we are invoking His very presence in our lives.
It’s the blood that Satan fears. Revelation 12:11 says, "And they overcame him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb." (KJV) The devil doesn’t want you to learn about the blood. He knows the real power is in the blood.
Before this planet was ever a thing, God had determined in His heart that He would send His Son to die on the cross for us. Yes, He died so that we could live. How wonderful it is to trace the scarlet thread of the blood of Christ woven throughout the Bible and our lives today! How much more wonderful to experience its power personally. Yes, God thinks I am that special. Praise God for the blood of His Son! Our savior! It’s His blood that gives life, and He used blood to reveal Himself and His power to me.
After that day at the mall, butterflies became everything cherished and precious to me. It was like God and I had a secret together. I was chasing God, and He was chasing me.
God wants us to keep our eyes on Him until we reach heaven. He opened my eyes to the beautiful butterfly to light up my path and keep me on course. He wants us to stay heavenly-minded. God wants all of us to keep our hearts and minds on things above. God wants us to treasure the heart of heaven. Heaven is an invitation to be with Jesus, and I am so excited to chase butterflies until I reach His loving arms. Heaven is home, and heaven is where I long to be.
This beautiful ministry has given me hope. Sharing my most treasured stories and receiving love from women all over the world has restored something in me that was lost. I truly believe that
God loves me. I felt so lost and abandoned for a long time. But God reminded me that He still has plans for my life and will finish what He started. This is proof—what a miracle to be shared. God is so faithful. I can testify to that.
For years, I would write stories about God on sticky notes and leave them on my fridge and in the pages of my journals. I wrote down my vision. When we write down our vision, we give it more power. And here we are today—I’m writing for you. God will finish what He starts. He has a plan and a purpose for each of us. He doesn’t care how qualified or educated we are. He will give us everything we need to fulfill His mission. I had nothing to bring to the table when God called on me. Absolutely nothing. But He gave me the tools and resources I needed. He will give us just enough to stretch our faith and keep us relying on Him. My faith is concrete, but fear threatens to keep me in bondage. God wants us to trust Him. Let go of the fear by remembering what He’s already done. Trust Him!
